Amber: What happened to Buzzsaw? Richards: Uh. He had to split.
Richards dispatches Fireball by throwing a road flare at him:
Richards: What a hothead.
Richards strangles Sub-Zero:
Richards: He was a pain in the neck.
Richards later announces Sub-Zero's fate to the audience:
Richards: Here's Sub-Zero, now plain zero!
Richards signs a contract on a man's back, only to stab him instead:
Richards: Don't forget to send me a copy.
Richards sends Killian crashing into a soda billboard:
Richards: Well, that hit the spot.
Last Action Hero, being a parody of your typical action movie with Arnold playing himself (or rather an action hero played by him), naturally turns the Bond One-Liner into an art form:
Slater shoots a bad guy who was chasing him in an ice cream truck:
Slater: Iced that guy... to cone a phrase.
Benedict gets in on the action when he enters the real world and realizes how easy it is to kill people there:
Benedict: Hello! I just shot somebody and I did it on purpose!
Vincent: Now there's a guy with a lot on his mind.
Arnold even did it in Real Life — when he was running for governor of California in 2003, someone threw an egg at him. He nonchalantly takes his jacket off and responds:
Arnold: Well, this guy owes me bacon now.
In American Gangster, after Frank basically executes a rival who had demanded 20% of his business, he takes his money and puts a few bills in a jar next to the dead body.
Alan: You're an actor, right? Booth: Yes. Alan: Then break a leg! [kicks Booth in the knee]
Austin Powers, being a James Bond parody, naturally has Austin throwing off one-liners. But Austin not only uses lame puns, he uses one after the other in quick succession, until he's told to stop and admits he sometimes goes a little too far.
[After a henchman has had his head eaten by ill-tempered sea bass]
Austin: Not a good time to lose one's head!
Vanessa: Indeed!
Austin: That's not the way to get ahead in life.
Vanessa: No.
Austin: It's a shame he wasn't more headstrong!
Vanessa: [Nods, losing patience]
Austin: He'll never be the head of a major corporation.
Vanessa: Ok, that'll do.
Blood Pi: A villainous example, when Amber kills the guy who raped Agnis, she delivers this line.
Amber: Call ya later, babe.
Capps Crossing: David gives one after driving his knife into Kyle's eye.
David:Damn, dude. You got something in your eye. (removes knife) Thanks. Can you see now?
The Fugitive: Richard Kimble encounters Frederick Sykes, the one-armed man that actually murdered Kimble's wife, aboard an elevated train in Chicago. After a struggle in which Sykes shoots a transit cop who was about to intervene, Kimble subdues Sykes, then after checking the vitals of the cop, takes his handcuffs and cuffs Sykes' remaining hand to a pole, saying to Sykes "Missed your stop!" before fleeing.
Galaxy Quest: After teleporting a rock monster to the ship that starts tearing through Sarris's Mooks, Fred Kwan and Guy are watching contentedly from a safe place.
Fred Kwan: It's the simple things in life you treasure.
Ghostbusters has a non-lethal variant (kinda, he was dead to begin with) when the eponymous Ghostbusters capture the ghost and announce their prowess to the public:
Venkman: We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!
Hot Fuzz, being a spoof of the buddy cop movie, would lampshade movie-cops' tendency to do this:
Nicholas dispatches of Lurch in a supermarket freezer, and Danny laments a lost opportunity:
Danny: How's Lurch? Nicholas: He's in the freezer. Danny: Did you say, "Cool off!"? Nicholas: Er, no, I didn't say anything, actually. Danny:Shame. Nicholas: There was a bit earlier on that you missed when I distracted him with the cuddly monkey. And then I said, "Playtime's over!", then I hit him with the peace lily. Danny: You're off the fucking chain! [cocks shotgun]
At the end, when the heroes watch the villain escape in his car but crash into a tree less than 100 yards away thanks to judicious use of swan, they let another opportunity pass:
Nicholas: I feel like I should say something smart. Danny: You don't have to say anything at all.
As a meta-example, Simon Pegg admits in the DVD Commentary that his Spaced co-star Jessica Stevenson pointed out an even cooler one-liner that he could have used in the scene where Nicholas dispatches Lurch: "Rest in peas."
Indy's dad Henry Sr. (appropriately played by Sean Connery, the original James Bond) takes down a Nazi fighter plane by startling a bunch of birds with his umbrella:
Henry: I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne: "Let my armies be the rocks and the trees, and the birds in the sky."
When Henry squirts a Nazi with ink from his pen, causing him to fall and knock himself out, Marcus Brody delivers one on his behalf.
Marcus: Henry! The pen is mightier than the sword!
Indy and his dad are trying to escape by zeppelin when a Nazi officer starts questioning the passengers. Indy, disguised as a steward asking for tickets, tosses him out the window, then suddenly has to explain himself to the shocked passengers:
Indy: No ticket. [passengers frantically start waving their tickets at Indy]
In Bond parody In Like Flint, Flint knocks a mook onto a Conveyor Belt o' Doom that sends the unlucky bastard into a white-hot document disintegrator, and his boss, after watching him go up in flames, quips to the men beside him, "Let's pay our respects."
Jonah Hex. Anyone unwise enough to taunt Jonah by asking how he got his Facial Horror gets a bullet, followed by the appropriate Bond One-Liner (i.e. "Same way you got yours.") but halfway through the movie Jonah admits he's run out of wiseass responses.
Played with in Lethal Weapon 2, when Murtaugh is attacked in his home by an assassin and dispatches him with a nail gun — but he doesn't say anything. Then another assassin shows up, Murtaugh dispatches him similarly, and then he quips:
Murtaugh: Nailed 'em both.
At the end of Lethal Weapon 2, when the Big Bad is shooting at him:
Searching for the Arquilians, a disguised Edgar the Bug pretends to be new waitstaff at a Russian diner and takes two orders of pirogis from the counter. When the chef asks where the normal server Ivan is, Edgar replies that he "gave him a break". The chef seems to buy it and Edgar leaves with the plates, with the camera pulling back to reveal that poor Ivan got folded up in half and his body stuffed into the shelves underneath the counter.
Near the end of the movie after Edgar makes one last desperation attack to kill Agents Jay and Kay after his plan for intergalactic war is thwarted while the latter two are recovering, Edgar gets blown up from behind the two agents. Then we cut to Laurel with a smoking atomizer in her hands. "Interesting job you guys have."
Mission: Impossible III: After Farris asks Ethan how many rounds he has left as they shoot their way out of a building he replies "Enough." before shooting a mook and saying "Now I'm out."
In Redline, after a debadged Porsche Carrera GT crashes during the canyon race:
Shoot 'Em Up, which revolves almost entirely around gun battles, has its fair share of Bond One-Liners; in fact, one can say that two-thirds of Smith's lines are of this variety, as he mutters about things he doesn't like.
Smith impales a mook through the mouth with a carrot and offers the following advice:
Smith finally gets the drop on the villain and reveals to him what he hates the most:
Smith: What I really hate... is a pussy with a gun in his hand.
In Speed, Jack and Payne are fighting a Traintop Battle and Payne brags that he will win because he's "smarter". He then stands up and gets decapitated by a low-hanging light:
Jack: Yeah? Well, I'm taller!
Or, as he later tells his companion when asked where Payne is:
April: Winters? Michelangelo: Looks more like fall. Get it? Leonardo: Mikey, remember our talk?
In the first live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990), Michelangelo and Donatello crush a Foot Ninja between their shells, and Michelangelo tries to come up with a good one-liner:
Michelangelo: Donnie, looks like this one's suffering from shell shock. Donatello: Too derivative. Michelangelo: Boy, I guess we can really shell it out. Donatello: Too cliché. Michelangelo: Well, it was a shell of a good hit! Donatello: ...I like it!
Alfred the butler responds to the Corrupt Cop's request for a bribe by shanking him:
Alfred: So much for his cut.
When Eddie decapitates Alfred later in the film:
Eddie: You won't be attending that hat convention in July!
Hellboy, after killing the first Sammael in the New York Subway with the electrified third rail:
Hellboy: I'm fireproof. [lights a cigar with his still-burning hand] You're not.
In The Two Towers, a throwaway Uruk-Hai captain, Ugluk, gets a surprisingly great one. When the Orcs are complaining about not having eaten meat in days, one of them tries to grab Merry and Pippin (who, per Saruman's orders, are not to be harmed). Ugluk decapitates the disobedient Orc, then grins.
Bartleby and Loki are intimidating a group of Corrupt Corporate Executives, and one of them reaches for the phone to call security. Loki impales the phone with a switchblade:
Loki:[heavily] All lines... are currently down. Bartleby: Will you please cut that out— Loki: Oh, come on! That was great!
In Rogue One, Vader offers a non-lethal one to Orson Krennic as he briefly strangles him:
Vader: Be careful not to choke on your aspirations, Director.
In The Rise of Skywalker, after setting Poe, Finn, and Chewie free, General Hux tells his colleague General Pryde that they overpowered him and escaped. Pryde doesn't buy it.
Pryde: I see. Get me the Supreme Leader. [shoots Hux dead] Inform him that we've found our spy.
Chocolat has a non-lethal variation when Josephine, after hitting her abusive husband in the head with a frying pan, utters:
Josephine: Who says I can't use a skillet?
The final scene of the action movie The Last Boy Scout has the two leads discussing future use of Bond One Liners.
In the Home Alone series, these quips are used by the gangster villain of the 1930s-era movie-within-a-movieAngels with Filthy Souls.
In the first film, someone demands money from the gangster, and the gangster runs him down:
Gangster: Keep the change, ya filthy animal!
In the second film, we see the sequel Angels with Even Filthier Souls, which apparently also has a Christmas theme:
Gangster: Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal! [more gunshots] And a Happy New Year!
In Kuffs, after a mook gets shot in front of his companions:
Mook: 12-gauge pump, boys. They only got three shots. They can't get us all! [pulls out his gun, Ted shoots him first] George: Well, now we know he can add and he can subtract, so... who wants to be next, here?
In Saving Private Ryan, American GIs gun down surrendering conscripts on Omaha Beach begging for mercynote who aren't begging in German, but rather in Czech, not that these guys care. One GI jokingly asks what they might be saying, and another goes:
In Judge Dredd, Dredd mows down a room full of gangsters but leaves a sole survivor, whom he taunts while listing his own crimes during the action sequence and the various penalties that go with them, ending with "killing of a Street Judge":
Gangster: Let me guess. Life! [tries to shoot Dredd, Dredd kills him first] Dredd: Death. Court's adjourned.
Mook: Choke on it, Dredd! Dredd:[pistol-whips the mook] Choke on that.
When a corrupt Judge looks to have Dredd on the ropes, Dredd tells him to wait. The man starts in on some incredulous Evil Gloating about how Dredd is asking for mercy, then Anderson shows up and riddles him with bullets:
Budlofsky doesn't want to go with Matheson to kill Saul; he just wants to go home and have dinner with his wife. An annoyed Matheson kills Budlofsky instead:
Matheson: I knew you'd gone soft. Dinner's gonna be cold tonight, asshole!
Dale has a line that he likes to give when he delivers subpoenas, and he hangs out outside Ted's house to say the line to him. But when he finally gets to say it to Ted, it's Ted's mangled corpse instead:
Dale: Sorry, Ted. You've been served.
Die Hard's protagonist John McClane loves his Bond One-Liners. But a few villains get in on the action as well.
In the first movie, John fights a mook and has this exchange:
Mook: Next time you have a chance to kill someone, don't hesitate. John:[shoots mook] Thanks for the advice.
Also in the first movie, Hans coolly brags about dispatching Takagi (a line famously improvised by Alan Rickman):
Hans: I wanted this to be professional, efficient, adult, cooperative. Not a lot to ask. Unfortunately, your Mr. Takagi did not see it that way, so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life.
Mason (played by Sean Connery, the original James Bond) throws a knife at a Marine. The Marine starts screaming in terror until the knife lands right in his throat:
Mason: You must never hesitate.
Goodspeed dispatches Darrow with a rocket:
Goodspeed: How do you like how that shit works?
In In Old Arizona — a Best Picture nominee in 1929 — the Cisco Kid arranges for his cheating mistress to be killed:
Cisco Kid: Her flirtin' days are over... and she's ready to settle down.
Selina: About that whole "no guns" thing... I'm not sure I feel as strongly about it as you do.
In Mortal Kombat: The Movie, Liu Kang delivers a devastating combo attack on Shang Tsung, knocking him into a pit of spikes intended for Liu himself. As Shang Tsung dies, Liu Kang utters a famous line from the video game:
This doubles as an Ironic Echo since Shang Tsung said it first upon seeing Sub-Zero kill a hopeless kombatant by freezing and hurling him onto Shang Tsung's throne platform.
In Iron Man 3, Tony encounters an enemy who no-sold a shot to the face from his portable hand-repulsor. This time, he aims for the chest and makes a hole through him:
Hunt: Now go home to your wife and ask her how you look.
In TRON: Legacy, Sam shoots a jet fighter into the water:
Sam: Have a nice swim!
In Stargate: Continuum, Ba'al drops one when Apophis is brought in to be executed and, Defiant to the End, gives his executioner a thorough tongue-lashing.
Ba'al: That's actually rather good, isn't it? [draws his sword] Did you plan to say that when you walked in? [slices off the top of Apophis' head] Or was it just off the top of your head?
In Kick-Ass 2, Hit Girl kills Mother Russia by stabbing her all over her body with glass shards and tells her in Russian:
Hit Girl: I thought a cunt like you could handle all those little pricks.
Invoked and defied in Kingsman: The Secret Service. As Valentine is dying from his wound, he expresses his disgust at having to listen to a lame death-related pun. Eggsy tries to spare him that:
In the original RoboCop, after Clarence Boddicker and his thugs kill Alex Murphy (would later go on to become the eponymous RoboCop), one of the thugs quotes Hamlet of all things:
"Good night, sweet prince!"
In Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, during the Eggdicator scene, Willy Wonka gets to do this twice. After the Eggdicator drops Veruca down the chute with the actual bad eggs:
Wonka: She was a bad egg.
And then her father dives right in after her to try to get her out:
Wonka: There's gonna be a lot of garbage today!
In Cloud Atlas, the Mexican woman gets her revenge on the assassin who shot her dog and threw her a racial slur:
Sonya, impaling Kano's head after he put her in a chokehold and asked how it felt: "It was fucking amazing...mate."
In the 1967 film Deadlier Than The Male, Elke Sommer, playing a sexy assassin, seduces a man and then kills him by throwing him off his own balcony, then quips: "Well, I have had men fall for me before, but never like this!"
In the climax of Congo, a group of scientists are under attack by wild, violent gorillas. Dr. Karen Ross arms her laser gun, and before she slices them apart exclaims:
Dr. Ross: Put them on the endangered species list.
At the end of Scream, as Sidney, Randy, and Gale look down at the killer's dead body, Randy warns them that slasher movies often end on a Not Quite Dead twist. Sure enough, Ghostface gets back up for one last scare, only for Sidney to immediately put a bullet in his head and say "not in my movie."
In Scream 4, the killer is an Attention Whore attempting to pose as the Sole Survivor of a massacre in order to imitate how Sidney became famous as a three-time Final Girl in the previous films. After Sidney takes down the killer with a defibrillator to the head, she drops the line "you forgot the first rule of remakes, Jill. Don't fuck with the original." She then gets off a Pre-Mortem One-Liner when she goes to finish the job; when the killer once again gets up as Sidney tends to an injured Dewey, who says that the killer was "standing right behind me", Sidney replies "they always are" as she grabs Dewey's gun and puts one in Ghostface's heart.
Scream (2022) opens, as per series tradition, with a Harassing Phone Call where Ghostface asks Tara what her favorite scary movie is, to which Tara replies that she prefers "elevated horror" like The Babadook and It Follows over old-school slashers. At the end, Tara is ultimately the one who lands the killing blow on Ghostface, causing her to remark "I still preferThe Babadook".
Sugar Hill: After a gangster is Fed to Pigs on Sugar's orders, Sugar says, "I hope they're into white trash."
The Suicide Squad: Bloodsport gives one to Peacemaker after shooting through his exploding compression round and nailing him in the throat (even though The Stinger confirms he survived):
In Undefeatable, two characters get in on the same action when Stingray suffers an Eye Scream:
Kristy: We'll keep an eye out for you, Stingray. Nick: Yeah, see ya!
Unforgiven is a very, very dark and serious movie that basically takes a weedwacker to every Western trope you can think of. This doesn't stop Will Munny from dropping one of the best lines in cinema history after blowing away the saloon owner who made a window display out of Ned Logan.
"Little Bill" Daggett: Well, sir, you are a cowardly son of a bitch! You just shot an unarmed man! William Munny: Well he should've armed himself, if he's gonna decorate his saloon with my friend.
Also Zig-Zagged at the end of the same scene - Munny technically doesn't bother with one, but Eastwood's delivery has so much gravitas that it comes across cooler than an actual one-liner would.
"Little Bill" Daggett: I'll see you in hell, William Munny. William Munny:Yeah.[shoots him]
In Universal Soldier, Devereaux dispatches of Scott by shoving him into a wood chipper. When asked where Scott is, Devereaux replies:
. He nonchalantly takes his jacket off and responds:Arnold: Well, this guy owes me bacon now.
