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What is there to say about Froghand that may be expressed in such few words? At the same time as it's unabashedly vulgar and laced with absurd stories that are tangentially related to the subject at hand, it manages to be inspirational and sincere while still maintaining a good sense of humour, even when going deep into topics that would normally bore even the most interested reader. Written and designed by one faceless, nameless, bisexual, furry, pirating, plushophiliac, free software-using, Canadian (probably), workaholic, incredibly manly upstanding young bloke named Froge (and not "Froghand" as so many have been misled), the entire blog, in its hundreds of thousands of words of glory, is dedicated to the Public Domain, because Digital Piracy Is Okay.

He talks about every subject with the full respect it deserves, such as 6,000 words about Bioshock Infinite, 12,000 words about The Beginner's Guide (which caused the developer to read his blog), and his 21,000 word rant against Valve Software, which caused him to be banned from numerous subreddits. Even amongst this, he manages to sneak in a kind article about something else, such as a satirical review about poorly-drawn berries at the request of a friend. His audience is few but his acclaim is great; he self-describes as the "Longform Zero Punctuation", and takes inspiration from so many more!

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He currently focuses on reviews of games and books, with occassional articles detailing something entirely different so long as it fits the "Reviews and Culture" index. There's also a "Big Ups and Fuck Yous" section on the main page, which is devoted to both praising subjects he finds worthy of admiration, and to bringing attention to the ills of the world, or at least the Internet, or at least something he found mildly annoying. Both update every single day, and it's a rarity for him to skip one (12 / 180 days were missed, according to the First Quarterly Froge Ball).

And everything can be found on his Neocities page, featuring whatever shit he's posting nowadays. Given his desperation for lewd cat pics, you can also e-mail him at the address at the bottom of his blog, and nowhere else, so don't search for familiar names using this page history.

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Froghand shows off THESE examples:

  • 8.8:invoked Froge mentioned in his Review of Game Reviewers that reviewers have given inappropriate scores to games based on bowing down to fan pressure:
    If a reviewer likes a game that nobody else does, expect their opinions to be disregarded. If they dislike a game that everybody else does, expect them to be called biased for not liking what you like. Of course, these are only issues if the writer is so shit that they can't convince people of their opinion - and this doesn't apply to the Internet hate mob which gangs up on writers without even reading what they wrote. The famous "8.8" score was legendary because of this. Somebody didn't like Twilight Princess as much as is federally required, and gave it a "great but not amazing score".
    I find it fucking incredible how an eight and an eighth out of ten is considered to be unacceptable - doing something 88% percent right is a terrible strategy for keeping a job, but when you're working with something as hard as making art, it's generally a miracle that you do everything even 70% right.
  • Allegedly Free Game: He states that Team Fortress 2's "Free-to-play" buisness model in his review of Valve. An exerpt from " The Crafting Entrapment" segment:
    Any sort of claim to TF2 being free to play is a boldfaced lie, as the practicality of obtaining every single item, Hell, every single weapon, is next to impossible because of the amount of time you're required to wait to get new items, as well as the chances of actually getting new items being against you, thanks to the existence of duplicate items and a drop rate which is skewed towards giving you what you don't want as opposed to what you do, which forces you into the crafting system which requires you to waste even more time getting weapons that you need to play the game.
    It is absurd to give a man the option to buy every single weapon in a game at an instant, make them wait years on end to gain the same weapons, and then tell them that they don't have to pay a thing. TF2 is pay-to-win, simply, and any claims against it ignores this simple proof. And before you say that such things are optional... keep in mind that some weapons are far better than others in practice, and that there is always a price to pay with free-to-play games, even if you can only buy cosmetic upgrades, as there is always some external pressure, social, internal, or otherwise, which encourages you to buy into the system above all else.
  • Antepiece: Gives an example with LISA:
    So we have a game where death isn't cheap, but the mechanics are built such that it makes it perfectly clear that it isn't. It doesn't come at you by surprise, because the scarcity of resources and save points are implications that your life is precious and that you must protect it. That ice cream truck and that whole cliff business may have been unfair, but it was a small blessing that they occurred immediately after you saved. That wasn't being a dick, so to say. It was being medicine. It didn't taste good, but if you didn't eat it when you have the privilege to, then you would have found yourself dying in far worse situations down the line. It takes the traditional, omnipresent mechanics of "fail until you learn something", and invokes it to prevent the player from getting even more frustrated down the line. It's one of those effortless aspects of game design that you have to slap yourself in the face to understand just because it was so obvious.
  • Arch-Enemy:
    • Froge is always willing to take pot-shots at Undertale, especially when compared against games that he thinks are better than Undertale, such as this section from LISA Session 03 Review:
      The one thing that Undertale will never understand is that you cannot make the audience enjoy your work by throwing them into tangentially related situations, and expecting them to feel exactly what you expect to feel. You cannot make them laugh when you throw in the obligatory funny scene with the rock. You cannot make them feel sad by making them kill somebody who could have been avoided by sneaking out while they're asleep. You cannot throw your character into a world without any cohesion to it, and still expect your audience to feel something in regards to that world. That's emotional manipulation - and the only people you've manipulated are those too ignorant of the arts to see through your charade.
    • Valve Software has been this for years, with Froge blaming the loss of four years of his life to a carefully-plotted business structure on Valve's part to addict him, and others, into playing their games for as long as possible, as detailed in the 21,000 word article The Industrial Steamworks.
      You don't understand what addiction can do to you, until you take a step back and realise just how much damage it's done. I'll never get that time back. 3,500 hours could do a lot of good for a person... but I'll never get that time back. Not me. Not anybody else. Because it's gone. And all the money that you spent gonna be gone... That's why it's such a big deal to me. Not because I'm a white knight who wants an easy target. But because it's important to me that nobody follows the same path I did and makes the same mistakes I did. Four years of bullshit... It wasn't worth the weight.
  • Art Shift:
    • For Halloween 2016, Froge decked out the site in a spooky black and orange, inverting all the pictures colours, and changing all the "Fuck yous" to "Spook yous". These changes are always unannounced and leave just as soon.
    • There was a brief, glorious moment in time somewhere in November where the site was turned into a pulsating, swinging, Hotline Miami bootleg, with the title screen music to boot. This heralded the Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews and the Arbitrary Vaporwave Week, despite expressing regret that it was more Outrun than Vaporwave, and lasting for a few days more than a week.
  • Audience-Alienating Premise:invoked Froges Big Up of a My Little Pony World War II Nazi Fanfiction:
    The ability to take a concept that most people would laugh out of the gate and turn it into something great, giving me some food for thought about my own dickishness, is typical of all art that matters. I would like to see more. That way I can justify spending my time on a website which hosts "Twilight Sparkle Eats Exactly Two Bananas". No, I'm not going off the deep end. It's research, damn it!
  • Author Appeal: Froge has quite the thing for plushies. Perhaps even to the point of being a plushophile, seeing as he brings the term up regarding Achewood. From The First Quarterly Froge Ball:
    The Precum on the Plushie award for things you don't expect to stick...
  • Author Filibuster: Given that this is a blog, Froge has ample opportunity to express his opinions, including the The 10X Rule Review where he talks about what it means to be great, yet still staying within the scope of the review instead of going completely off the rails.
    I realise this review isn't too funny. It is, however, important. If by some chance you wish to earn some charity titters, please insert a joke somewhere in it. Look, I'll even fill in the blanks for you. Here's a section! *Section labeled "insert jokes here" with five empty lines* Alright, are we good? Let's move on.
  • Bilingual Bonus: Froge's occasional and arbitrary foray into French, such as the "The Froge Festivities" from "Le Fêtes Du Froge". Even mentioned at the bottom of the page as "Gratuitous French".
  • Bi the Way: Froge confirms that he is indeed bisexual, and how he rarely gets to express that:
    Any youngster who even shows a hint of personality outside the, forgive the buzzwords, heteronormative conjecture, is subjected to the harshest of criticisms by your peers and by your parents. And given how these are the people that are most influential to a child, thinking of any other lifestyle than to simply hide as much of yourself as you can is just not an option. It's food for thought, simply. But I will say that being able to express my innate bisexuality is a privilege that I never get outside my close circle of friends. It's hard to be honest under those conditions.
  • Biting-the-Hand Humour: The failures of Neocities, Froghand's host site, often comes up in the BUAFYs.
    Fuck you to Neocities, and though for all the time I say "fuck you" to it, they still keep me on here despite commiting multiple acts of sedition (everybody download the site while it's still up!). I assume it's for the fat advertising money they're making from the invisible ads they put exclusively for mimes, or to entice the hundreds of thousands of hamsters they use to run the server with.
  • Bland-Name Product: In the Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews:
    Maybe I'll make an actual Outrun art project, involving, shit, I don't know. Hotline Miami recreated entirely in web languages. But then I'll get striked by the copyright vultures, so I'll call it "Bob Lime Boob Slamming" or what have you.
  • Brick Joke: In the Bojack Horseman Episode 02 Review, Froge writes for his first section "I guess I'm just horsing around". In the Episode 09 Review, he writes the same thing added on with another reference to the show:
    I guess I'm just horsing around.
    Did you laugh yet? Did you get it? It’s because horsing around is the name of the TV show and Bojack is a horse. Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it? And it’s just a page of this.
  • Canada, Eh?: Never explicitly confirmed, Froge's constant references to Canadian culture, British spelling (such as replacing z's with s's like in "realise", or using words like "colour", "honour", and "favourite"), liberal use of "eh", usage of Stephen Harper as a stand-in for Donald Trump (where Harper was considered by many to be a horrible Prime Minister, as evidenced by his party's landslide defeat in the next election followed by his resignation), knowledge of obscure Canadian laws, his "Big Up" to legal opinions using a Canadian judgement, and criticisms of the United States all point to a Canadian point-of-view, or at the very least somebody infatuated with the country.
  • Captain Obvious: Considers this to be the case with one of Steam's selling points:
    "Steam syncs all your games". No shit. No fucking shit. If I log onto Google, it syncs all my preferences. If I log onto Neocities, it save all my sites. If I log onto my VPN, it saves my account information. If I log onto e621, it saves all my porn. No fucking shit that Steam saves all my games - that's what it's supposed to do! If it didn't, and I spent money on a product that I couldn't even use on my own account, then that would be scam, and then they would lose all of their business in a day because they didn't deliver on the goods that they are legally supposed to deliver.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: "Fuck" appears thirty-seven times in this diatribe in the Nintendo Switch preview review, and 101 in the rest of the 8,000 words:
    I'm wondering who at Nintendo saw their fucking new fucking console for fucking idiots and fucking thought it was a good fucking idea to fucking fuck with fucking Skyrim and fuck the fucking system and their fucking idiots fucking audience and fucking fuck it up by fucking Skyrim with it and fucking pandering to said fucking idiots and pray they fucking unbuckle their fucking wallets and let fucking Nintendo fuck them for fucking money and fucking hope the fucking gambit pays the fuck off so they fucking stay the fuck in business and don't fucking eat fucking shit and fucking die on the fucking pavement like every fucking other fucking game publisher fucked by fucking cultural fucking trends fucking up the fucking games industry. Baise-moi, which is French for, "Soak me with a Parmesan roue and penetrate me with the casings of newly-hatched cockroaches", in the literal translation.
  • Critical Dissonance:invoked
    • Froge specifically mentions Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky as an example of a game that he really enjoyed, but only a few other people appreciate:
      Now if the safest and most bland pick for one of the "best games" isn't on the "best games" list, what is the hot chance in hell that I'm ever going to see a game like Explorers of Sky on there? It isn't a universally-liked game; it wasn't even liked that much on release, and it was barely given a footnote in Nintendo history, if gaming history at large... It's one of those very few games I felt personally invested in, personally attached to, like it mattered that I was playing it and not just as a distraction from the grave. It is a joy to play and a joy to experience and at the same time will make you really, truly, sad if you let it.
    • Froge considers Bioshock Infinite to be a far worse game than the credit it was given, as evidenced by his Bioshock Infinite review. He said in a different article that a lot of people like it even if he doesn't:
      I don't think Bioshock Infinite is a great game if I'm being lenient, and if I'm being harsh, I don't even think it was a good game. But a hell of a lot of people do, so I was surprised to see that it wasn't included on Wikipedia's list [of games considered the best], for winning 71 arbitrary industry awards because the games industry whores out awards worse than live-action television (maybe not as much), and generally getting its dick sucked.
  • Country Matters: Despite supposedly being Canadian, a place where "cunt" is still a foul word, Froge isn't afraid to use the word whenever he pleases, such as in the "Secure Comms for the Cool Cunny" article:
    So don't ironically text your friend porn of an underaged cat (there's a sentence that lawyers aren't prepared to deal with), because your friend is probably a leaky cunt (and not the good kind of leaky cunt, I can't believe it's not an underaged cat!)
  • Dancing Bear:invoked Froge accuses Nintendo of focusing on hardware gimmicks instead of creating good games:
    Perhaps the brilliant Kotaku journalists are seeing it as a sign that Nintendo is maturing as a company, which ignores the history of Nintendo always releasing at least one token "adult" game on their console per system, under the anti-artistic assumption that you can only enjoy a video game that has been tailored specifically to your age group (see the past ten years of first-person shooters), as well as ignoring that Nintendo has been doing the worst that they have since the three years the Wii U was released. Nintendo is less maturing and more a dancing bear with a fez, hoping the distraction helps them ignore the fact they have been releasing fucking awful games ever since the Wii U came out, pandering only to their target demographic of fucking idiots and children.
  • Digital Piracy Is Okay:
    • It's hard to start discussing where this begins with Froghand, but a good place is at the bottom of every page, with a clear public domain mark linking to the CC0 license (meaning anybody is free to use the work for any reason, as close to relinquishing copyright as you can get) and a Kopimi symbol, showcasing that the work is meant to be copied for any purpose.
    • Froge has repeatedly stated that he wants copyright abolished, such as at the alt text of the Kopimi symbol saying "Copy this website, abolish copyright".
      When you see somebody like me dedicate all their work to the public commons, even when individual practical sense says that I should have licensed it under something which would ensure me some stream of profit... it's because I care more about you than I do about me. I'll always find a way to survive, but when it comes to somebody who already has the privilege to survive and to enjoy their time alive, I don't want them to ever feel like they are doing something wrong, or have to be burdened with following arbitrary terms, or face the threat of somebody else telling them that they can't do something because somebody else doesn't like how they're using a thing that they made, and that's something I can't stand. That's why I want copyright, in blunt terms, dead. It damages everything that it touches.
    • Froge constantly recommends instances of remix culture, such as Simpsonwave and Vaporwave, Future Funk synced to music videos, and the Missionary Church of Kopimism for encouraging the copying of information.
    • Froge is also an avowed pirate, because he considers obeying copyright to be allowing corporate censorship, among other reasons.
      I recall an example in No Logo (an incredible depressing book you may wish to read) where companies would send out cease-and-desist letters to Web 1.0 webpages that used song lyrics on their websites. The owners of these pages, these little pieces of our culture, were teenagers trying to express their artistic vision, and had no infringing content on their sites at all. To assume that such companies care one bit about us, is a massive mistake to make, and the only way to stand up to such oppression is to not use the products of any enemy of culture, and especially not to buy from them (so basically pirate everything and you'll be fighting the man, man).
    • The article "It's because I'm black, isn't it?" talks about all the ills of proprietary software, and how it puts the company who owns the software in a position of power to manipulate and spy on thir customers. The gist of the article is that no closed-source software can be trusted from both a security and a moral standpoint, as anybody who makes their software closed-source doesn't care about the user, and so shouldn't be patronised on principle. Naturally, if more software was free, then people wouldn't need to pirate.
    • The article BitTorrent for Babbys is a tutorial and rundown on how to use BitTorrent while reducing as much incriminating evidence as possible, blatantly recommending techniques to obscure pirated media. Although it borders on paranoia, given the example of copyright trolls sending indiscriminate letters to people using BitTorrent (to the point of implicating a printer), it may be justified.
    • Copyright goes against the notion of indulging in the culture it creates:
      It is our natural born rights to partake in the culture which we have created, our right to partake in the wonderful, wonderful creations that humanity has given us, and to never have it taken away from us. This is why I am so insistent on removing all copyright - it prevents people from being exposed to the culture that they have every right to be a part of, are prevented from indulging in it through whatever means they wish, and prevents them from developing a strong sense of community by freely associating and creating works with people who have been impacted by the same art they have. Copyright goes against the very idea of culture, and indeed, the very idea of the arts, by prevent art that was meant to be shared, from being shared.
    • More subtlely, Froge has referred to copyright as "copywrong" on occasion.
      If I was, for instance, somebody who hated art, fun, free culture, and the destruction of classism, I would be not a cunt, but a cunt who is upset that the service is used to distribute media files in a way where nobody can snoop the content unless they possess the key, causing passive surveillance to be difficult if not impossible. For somebody who isn't a cunt, and therefore is me, the principle of MEGA - protecting the privacy of its users for whatever reason, not just copywrong related ones, is a noble one that must be upheld in times where your government will arbitrarily search your files for fear of terrorists or the gays or whatever the meme is nowadays.
    • Less subtlely, Froge has called copyright a cancer, linking to a lecture dispelling the myths that copyright protects artists (in the humble opinion of the presenter, of course), and how it leads to a scenario where the most noticeable brands that are pushed onto the world are the ones which are least usable by the world, because of how aggressively they are protected by the companies which make them.
      Copyright is censorship, simply - it is not a tool used to protect artists, because artists don't need copyright to share their work and make a profit in both money and attention. It's a tool used by companies in order to stifle anything that might cost them a red cent, or to destroy dissenting opinions and use of their work, as is the case with the Royal Dutch Shell gripe site (archive), where the company wanted to censor opinions unfavourable to them. What copyright has done is ruin our culture by causing us to ask for permission from the very same companies that contribute to that culture, in order for us to endulge in our fundamental right to that culture. It's a malicious system set up by governments that have shown nothing but cowardice, failing to protect the rights of the individual in favour of maintaining the status quo of the oligarchy.
    • And then he lambasted Nintendo for continuing to adopt anti-piracy practices, which he considered to be a backwards way of thinking. Considering the notion of console exclusivity to be irrelevent in an age dominated by the personal PC, aggressively focusing on hardware gimmicks and dumbed-down software, he encourages people to hack into Nintendo products until their anti-consumer practices change.
      So long as games companies continue to show willful malice the their audience, it is necessary to reverse-engineer, emulate, and disseminate all games, consoles, and software that they release in order to create a culture that allows for sharing regardless of the company's consent - because the company that does not give consent for the consumers to do whatever they like with the products that they paid for, without limitation, is not a company that deserves to be bought from in the first place, with the exception that all products bought will eventually be used to preserve the freedom of the quiet majority which refuses to accept such malicious practices.
  • Disappointing Last Level:invoked Froge was disappointed with the ending sequence from Bioshock Infinite, calling it slow, patronising, inferior to Bioshock's ending, and failing to integrate within the gameplay.
    And then when the game ends, you fucking die! Wow, I guess it was taking my "fuck you, got mine" advice, with an ending that had as much impact as your farts in an elevator - slow, awkward, a little cringe-worthy, and with zero satisfaction for having done the deed. Oh right, there's supposed to be some spoilers here. Turns out Elizabeth is your daughter and you're Comstock. Then a bunch of clones show up and drown you. This happens after you spend twenty minutes with some science babble about a billion billion different doors and you showing up in all of them, a scene set in Rapture from Bioshock 1 which is totally not fanservice guys we swear, and you supposed to feel bad for a baby that was never introduced to the plot thus far and ends up being laughably out-of-place with how much Booker cares about this random little shit he never knew.
  • Double Entendre: Makes fun of the Nintendo Switch for its name, as well as other Nintendo consoles:
    Speaking of cheap entertainment - has everybody gotten familiar with the new Nintenthing? It's called the Nintendo Switch, because Nintendo was fed up with everyone taking the piss out of the "Wii" and "Wii U", that they decided to name it after BDSM. I can't wait for the Nintendo Knob, and I'd think of more sexual names, but I don't want to waste the effort if they'll do it for me in a few years
    Switch is a sex term. Article over. Obvious joke which I already milked worse than a white slave, but the criticism is still true. From a branding perspective, your name is one of the most important things that your business can have - it's the first thing that people hear, the first thing that people will talk about, and what the person will continue to talk about every single time they refer to the product. Naming your line of novelty cola "Pussy Syrup" with an image of a a cat of it would be a decent name for the product. Naming a vaccine after it is a horrible idea.
  • Doorstopper:
    • Copying and pasting every article and BUAFY from May 2016 to November 2016, including the headers, leads to a bigass 320,000 words - all in the span of six months, including the break Froge took in July. It's helpful to mention this was all made by one person as a personal project.
    • Although a modest sum compared to other mediums, the 26,000 word count of The Froge Guide to Writing (which is more of a triad of advice than an actual guide) is huge compared to what you expect out of a typical blog. This was intentional, as he wanted to beat the word count of his Old Shameinvoked "The Industrial Steamworks", a 21,000 rant against Valve Software.
    • Froge has been known to write thousands of words in the span of a day, such as the 5,300 word 10,000 Update Special being written in a single evening at the request of a fan.
      When you see, for instance, me write 3,000 words in a single update, or write a massive BUAFY, or write 14 reviews of an anime over two weeks, then know that it isn't because of some magical otherworldly thing. It's all very human and very simple. I simply spend the time to do the thing, and so I do it. I get past all the negatives, I get past all the "what if I'm not good enough?" (which I haven't had in over six months), and I get past every fibre in my body that wants me to be a lazy shit and take a break and give up... and the net result is that I get a blog that just so happens to write more words than any other thing I have ever written.
  • Drugs Are Good: Made fun of in his Bojack Horseman Episode 11 Review:
    The focal point of the episode is first and foremost the drug trip. Remember kids: getting high is fun! But only if you're watching somebody else get high. And only if you have the opportunity to see into their mind. And only if you get to bend reality as they do. And there are no guns or knives around. So I guess what I'm saying is, do drugs and dance like a monkey.
  • Early Installment Weirdness:
    • The original purpose of Froghand was to write about Web security, exclusively sticking to that topic for four months, before branching out in August amid difficulties in writing the Scavenge from the Torrent Wasteland article. There hasn't been a single security-related article since August 12, 2016, though the BUAFYs still heavily mention it the topic.
    • Mentioned in the 10,000 Update Special:
      I realised that, at the heart of security, it's the same principles over and over again, and there's only so much you can talk about before you get into the really deep, gritty, and boring stuff. So then I made a few experiments with reviews of a shitty game (Yandere Sim) and a visual novel that I found so endearing that I'm still consciously thinking about it three months later (The Cherry Tree High Duo Reviews), and then I cut the Scavenge from the Torrent Wasteland abruptly due to a lack of stuff to talk about. I then realised, during the course of writing that article, that my future did not reply in sarcastically talking about things which people already knew about, but instead for covering angles that nobody could look up with a simple Google search. I instead went away from the same old opinions and went into shiny new ones, with the wide world of the arts - video games and books and visual novels and anime and cartoons, oh, what a great world it is!
  • Ending Fatigue:invoked Criticised Bioshock Infinite for this in his review:
    If I had to use a word to describe the ending, it would be "patronising". The game knows that if you've gotten this far, you're so desperate for closure that any ending short of a rickroll would have been acceptable, where being subjected to twenty hours of barely-connected events and plotlines that don't go anywhere would have made even the most patient man go "FUCKING END, ALREADY", and I should know, because I was that patient man and that patient man said that every five minutes.
  • The Faceless: The chances of Froge revealing his identity is close to zero, given how he wrote an entire article on how to prevent doxing.
  • Feigning Intelligence: In his Nintendo Switch and Other Such Shit article, Froge has a low opinion of people who talk about stereotypically intelligent authors:
    I'm not just making up marketing advice like the uneducated white guy in their twenties will offer unsolicited, despite having no training, education, or knowledge of the subject at hand. I've read a great deal of books on the subject, and if I was an asshole, I'd pull out the fanciest sounding ones I could because my opinions can't carry a blog on their own and you need some other asshole to confirm them. Who is this "Noam Chungus" I'm hearing so much about? And why is getting the libertarian succ?
  • Forgiven, but Not Forgotten: Froge praises Good Old Games for not having any DRM, and thus making it easy to fileshare its games, yet brings up his (alleged) rejection of his (allegedly) popular game.
    Good Old Games rejected my Good New Game for unspecified reasons despite universal praise from everybody who played it, as opposed to those two-dozen or so people who I sent copies to and didn't, those bastards. But I will admit that hosting files which make it super easy to spread is, on the whole, the thing the gaming industry needs most right now.
  • Freemium: Compares Valve Software's business practices unfavourable to that of blatantly manipulative mobile games companies:
    It's the idic freemium game scam - you get a free download, say the Steam client, pump the client full of advertisements pressuring you to buy virtual goods, and milk the 1% of gamers who will spend tons of money on your application for all they're worth, without regard for their mental health or how much time they're spending on your client instead of doing literally anything else, because it doesn't matter if you only get a few dollars from 99% of gamers if you take advantage of the 1% who will spend thousands if not tens of thousands of dollars on virtual goods. There is no difference between what Valve does and what other manipulative mobile games companies do - it's the same system, just formatted in a different way.
  • Gratuitous French: The headers are usually made up of legible French, even though "Froge" is a made-up word, and is not French for "frog" as you may have assumed, unless you yourself were French, but then that would be silly.
  • Gushing About Shows You Like: In-universe.
    • Despite how much Froge has the capacity to criticise things, writing reviews thousands of words long to get his points across, he'll still be extremely positive towards work he likes, such as the positive examples from Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews:
      Ultra ADHD doesn't succeed because it's a novelty, or because it's exciting, but because it succeeds so well at its single purpose of telling the player to stop taking art so seriously, that it becomes a work of art in its own. It's a hidden gem, and though I won't say it's something you will never experience anywhere else, it makes the most out of its hour should you decide to play it. It's thoughtful and leads to some inspiration for making your own small experiments with games, and it's work like this which is what the indie scene most needs right now.
    • Froge's two-week long review of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya summed it up extremely positively, even though there were several episodes he was disappointed with.
    • Despite giving Bojack Horseman a mediocre review, he still had high praise for Episode 11 and Episode 07, as evidenced by his First Quarterly Froge Ball write-up:
      The Hardcore Porn in a Documentary award for quickest reversal of expectations goes to Bojack Horseman, a comedy series which was highly recommended by somebody who I trust very much, though on further reflection of his values and my own preferences as a patron of the arts, I will have to reconsider what I might enjoy based on his recommendations. An animated show which promised to be the most subversive and unexpected offering of the modern age bogged down by bum jokes and the writer's inability to build a decent plot on their life. I look forward to going to my brother's house and watching his Netflix spyware until three in the morning, so we can watch the entire season and remark on the one, two, arguably three episodes that I would want to spend my time re-watching.
  • Happiness Is Mandatory: Played with in the footer of The First Quarterly Froge Ball.
    Dancing is mandatory. Fun is optional. I am willing to alter these terms.
  • He Who Must Not Be Seen: To this day, nobody is certain who or what "Froge" is, aside from the limited information he provides willingly. This is understandable, given his strong views on privacy, security, and anti-surveillance tactics, having formerly devoted his website to the topic of Web security.
  • High Concept: Froge's description of "Web Lite" (a thing he made up) from Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews:
    I'm going to create a new cultural trend, let's call it "Web Lite". It's a satiricisation about how the future that we got, compared to the future we were promised, lends itself to be incredibly mundane and disappointing, instead leading to a bunch of cultural trends smashed together, new and old, haphazardly without any artistic merit whatsoever.
  • Hypocritical Humour: Froge brings this up while recommending a Firefox extension:
    You know me (disclaimer: none of you know me), and I am a simple man who only requests the simplest things in life, like four thousand gigabytes worth of furry porn, and a small supercomputer that I only ever use to edit text files with, but when I get my game on? Oh, boy, you better believe I'm getting my game on. Who needs 4K when I'm running Wii games 16,000 pixels wide, on a screen 5% of that value? You can practically taste the Gay Luigi. But beyond all of this, I am very practical, and as such, demand little more but the quiet enjoyment of my life with my modest army of whores.
  • Idiot Plot:invoked Calls out Bioshock Infinite for this in The First Quarterly Froge Ball.
    ...and an ending that makes you want to open a tear to Ken Levine's office and throw his desktop out the window so he never again looks at the failed abortion that was the Bioshock Infinite screenplay.
  • Idiot Programming:invoked Froge considers developers who fail to optimise their programs as an example, such as in the Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews:
    Welcome to the newest Game Boy exclusive that is neither exclusive or would fit on a Game Boy, taking up an obscene 40 megabytes. Jesus fuck. Back in my day, you could package two hours worth of content into just three megabytes - with audio! Now we're stuck with bloated engines and developers who don't appreciate the struggle of the data cap, as even a ten minute romp like this must be shoved into the inevitable rise of feature creep, soaking even into the finished products.
  • Immune to Drugs: Mentioned in his Bojack Horseman Episode 11 Review:
    The Gang gets really fucking high and Bojack ends up on the worst trip of his life, telling the audience that drugs are bad (or really fucking good) and that you're a dumbass if you expect to do anything good while high. I suppose it was their fault for snorting ten lines of cocaine and huffing four pill bottles worth of drugs, though they should be lucky that all they suffered was a horrible trip as opposed to, you know, immediately dying.
  • The Internet Is for Porn: Froge brings up a furry-themed example:
    I bet there's a division of companies like Facebook and Google devoted exclusively to nabbing as many typoes and domain name redirects of their names as they can, before some asshole takes it and puts furry porn on the websites they control. Imagine if somebody was using Google, and they accidentally found porn! Wouldn't that be shocking? Here's hoping for a .yiff domain in the future. You're all laughing now, but give it a decade, and I fucking guarentee that this will be a domain name. Froghand.yiff? Sign me the fuck up.
  • It's the Same, Now It Sucks!:invoked
    • Harshly criticised Nintendo for releasing similar titles in their staple franchises every year, especially when their best work involves creating games that nobody expected.
      I've said it before: every time Nintendo has an opportunity to change our culture with a game that nobody expects, a game that came straight out of left field, a game that no other company has the conviction to develop, market, and publish, they strengthen their iron grip on the industry, creating a justification for its existence that no other company has. When it squanders the opportunity to change lives and make its audience feel things, the same feelings that will indebt them to the company despite every mistake it makes, and instead uses it to release the same Super Mario or Legend of Zelda game that they have for over a decade, they become the laughing stock of the industry, who, like I said, just doesn't get it.
    • Froge says that Sony and Microsoft Studios has been releasing essentially the same consoles for over a decade:
      Most games consoles have the philosophy of "another one with shinier hardware and no backwards compatibility", which is why Sony and Microsoft have been releasing essentially the same thing over the past fifteen years. At least Nintendo has the balls to switch it up a little - it sure paid the fuck off when it came to the Wii / DS era, rolling in more money than a drug dealer could make in a decade, which must have made the IRS give a detailed inspection of their tax forms.
  • Lowest Common Denominator:invoked
    • Froge mentions this by name multiple times to refer to content that exists to gain money from people who are uninterested in enhancing their lives, as opposed to media that inspired them to be great:
      I think it's telling about a company when just a decade ago it was considered one of the coolest sites on the Web, a source of unabashed creativity and community, where memes lived and died like they were nothing - only for the site to offer itself for vivisection and spend the last three years spasming at every opportunity Google takes to cut into it. Nowhere is this more reflective than the most popular videos on YouTube, which I have previously described as the "TMZ" as websites, but is now better described as the "TLC" of the Web: a series of lowest-common-demoninator advertisements, sponsored content, and pop culture pandering that exists only to extract advertising revenue from the most disinterested and barely-alive populace that exists today.
    • His article Dispassion in the Gaming Scene asserts that the reason game developers don't create new experiences is because they're focused on appealing to people who can make them the most money, and have to compromise to create the most bland product in order to appeal to the widest audience:
      That's the biggest problem with games today; everything that doesn't fit the design document has to be removed. All the rough edges have to be sanded off, all the easter eggs have to be removed for budget restraints, all the fun, secret shit has to be shelved because there's not enough time to include both that and the mandatory amount of cutscenes. In today's climate, it's no longer about adding content that enhances the player experience. It is instead about giving the player the bare minimum amount needed to keep them playing, and then force them onto the next game to buy and then forget about. It's just like television - they don't care about the impact the work has on you, they just want you to keep watching for the next one.
  • Medal of Dishonor:
    • The Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews feature some token awards at the end, giving Cacti Love a special "Broken Condom award for least pleasant surprise" for physically harming his body.
      When you make me believe I'm at risk of having a seizure, then it's never a good sign for you personally.
    • The purpose of the "Froge Ball" is to give out awards for the best and worst of the previous three (six the first time) months. Such dishonourable awards include "Awards that argue for eugenics", "The Cheese Grater on the Ballsack award", and "Awards for Froge's personal incompetence".
      The awards have no structure beyond what I will state, so don't leave your comfy chairs, because you never know what to expect. Who knows, maybe Oprah will show up and give you a free car, laundering the money from her illegal hairspray business while using her book club sticker factory as a front for the revival of the Illuminati, using unprecedented access to the Internet to edit Wikipedia articles to include typoes, causing readers to slowly go insane as subliminal messages are included in each and every paragraph.
    • In the JanusVR Review:
      Neocities is a beautiful, fertile ground, where anybody can come in and make any website of their choosing, must like the immigrants can come in and take any job of their choosing, destroying the livelihoods of billions of Americans and causing them to make our money completely worthless. Fortunate then that JanusVR tells us what such a scenario would be like, where the cities have been deserted and replaced with plastic facsimiles populated with about three white supremacists, which incidentally is the plot of Fallout 4.
  • Microtransactions: Froge laments the blatant cash grabs of some developers in Dispassion in the Gaming Scene:
    We've entered an ecosystem where games are no longer sold to players, but are instead leased to them piecemeal, where it is perfectly acceptable to create an unfinished product because the sheep just don't fucking care about their rights as a consumer. And one of the problems that this ecosystem presents is that games have no more room for flavour text and fun, because to have too much fun would mean that there won't be any more opportunities to sell more of the game to them later on down the line, in microtransactions and character skins and other devious practices which have, due to the ignorance and disinterest for the disgusting and unwashed gamer masses, become the standard norm for games, paid, free, or otherwise. It is no longer enough for companies to charge eighty dollars - eighty fucking bucks, the price of two week's worth of groceries - per game, in addition to the four to six hundred dollars for the games console itself, but it is only once they start adding in ways to continue extracting money from you even after you've paid this exorbitant price for a luxury product, that they will become placated until they find more ways to nickel and dime you.
  • Mood Whiplash: Criticised Bioshock Infinite for this in his review:
    Yes, 2K games, we are completely interested in your powerful metaphor for discrimination and the confusion of the teenage mind, especially after we blew up the spooky ghost lady and the Michael Jackson tribute convention. No, we're one hundred percent interested in the folly of historical censorship and religious manipulation, which is why the George Washington Robocop fits completely into this narrative.
  • Nintendo Hard: One of the reasons Froge appreciated LISA so much was because of its high difficulty, when he finds most games too easy, as stated in the LISA Session 02 Review:
    Big props to LISA for actually challenging me, and bigger props to pissing off the casual reviewers who said it was too difficult. I felt like I was actually being appreciated as somebody who bothered to learn about video games - we're talking about a man who janks up the difficulty to the highest as a physical tic, and sometimes that isn't enough. Mass effect was a bit easy, and Deus Ex would have been a decent challenge if it wasn't for the AI's godly aim combined with instant-kill headshots.
    Games make me hard when they too are hard.
  • Noodle Incident:
    • The introduction to the Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews where Froge joins a Japanese terrorist group before being publicly executed.
    • The "Skyrim Uprising" section of Nintendo Switch and Other Such Shit where Froge visits the theater:
      We're in the movie theatre with my grandparents and this is a completely inappropriate time to be interrupting "The Great and Powerful TriXXXie's Horse Cock Extravaganza". Granted, the manager was concerned my grandparents were coming, but the funeral director didn't have room for them.
    • A theoretical one in "Secure Comms for the Cool Cunny":
      "Oh, what are you up to?" "Going to counselling because this dick texted me porn of the Love Live girl." "That's fantastic. I'm going to go try to fellate myself now so I forget that image.", and then he blogs about it on Tumblr for the preteens to promptly hate-fap over. Froghand is a pedophile, the headlines would say. Ironic pornography leads to arrest, deportation to Somalia. K'naan sends his condolences. You see? It's a security risk.
    • Froge has had bad times with game development, as shown in his Review of an Untitled Masterpiece:
      Little did she know that I take everything seriously, which is why I was kicked off a Hotline Miami sequel, because everybody said "it was just a passion project". Bitch, do you want this thing made or not? I'm the only person in this entire team who knows what the hell they're doing, the only person with the time and the conviction who is able to organise this team into the greatest that the games industry has ever known, and you're kicking me out because you don't like me? Suck a fat shotgun you degenerate pieces of ass.
    • On how Yahtzee from Zero Punctuation got his name:
      "Yahtzee" Croshaw, so named because of witness protection placing him in the United Federation of Hasbro for forming a furry defamation league in a country which treats tapping somebody's shoulder as a sign of terrorist affiliation...
    • Another theoretical incident regarding his Stephen Harper joke:
      It's pretty clear to me that I will soon be caught up in the next World War, drafted because of my impossibly huge muscles and abilities to make foreign bullets stop in mid-air and zoom into their shooters out of sheer force of will. Before I eventually die after a tactical nuclear triad on my grandma's house, I wish to give a few thanks before I go.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: Used to contrast pretentious people who use smart-sounding books to make their opinions seem more valuable:
    That's why smart men only read children's books - it's hard to sound pretentious when you're citing Geronimo Stilton.
  • Old Shame:invoked
    • Froge feels that his Industrial Steamworks rant against Valve Software doesn't represent him properly:
      I have completed my goal of upending "The Industrial Steamworks", a work that I made out of the heat of passion and so do not visit for the complications involved in revisiting old memories, in understanding that I had done everything with very little thought, and so I do not want to look at such a work, as it does not represent me in my normal state of mind.
    • His very first article, awarded the "Worst of the Worst" award in The First Quarterly Froge Ball, still gives him some chagrin:
      The Teen Pregnancy award for babby's first mistake goes to my "Don't get Caught on that CP" one. I'm showcasing it in my "worst" list because, simply, it is my worst work. I take it to the gallows, and I execute it in front of you, in order to showcase that you will do bad work, and you must not quit when you do, because otherwise, well... look at what I have now. I wouldn't have made it if I didn't try to, eh?
  • One-Paragraph Chapter:
    • The entirety of the August 23, 2016 "Fuck You" goes like this:
      Fuck you to Tumblr for recommending me the blog "fag". Didn't need a reminder, thanks.
    • Several of the "Why I [watched / played / read] it" sections of his reviews are one sentence long, forced into following a format. Lampshaded in the Runescape Review Intro 02:
      Why I played it: Fuck you. [link to 2,500 words as to why he played Runescape]
  • Only in It for the Money:
    • Froge heavily accuses Valve Software of being a corporation that damages the lives of its customers in order to make a profit, relying on the few people who spend tons of money in order to stay afloat, sacrificing the artistic integrity of its games in order to boost profits.
      The fact that Valve has fucked over Team Fortress 2's deliberately solid design by adding garbage like hats is not news to anybody. You don't have to be a developer or a designer to understand that TF2 was designed to make it easier to play TF2. Every id was designed from the ground up to be instantly recognisable, and that's what separated TF2 from its competitors like Call of Duty and Quake. The art style was designed to be unique, and so it was, to their credit.
      In 2009, hats came, which was added as a profit booster for Valve, to provide incentive for players to keep playing TF2 by giving them a slot machine to gamble with, as I have described before. The insipid part about that was that TF2 was already a paid product, so if that doesn't show the amount of disrespect that Valve has for its paying customers, I don't know what does. Everybody wants hats, because everybody wants to feel special, and so they get addicted to collecting as many spectacular hats as possible so they get that feeling of accomplishment.
    • Claims this as the motivation for paid mods, which seemed obvious enough, though relates the system to what Valve had already been doing with their own games:
      This same system is what Valve has already done for TF2 and DOTA 2 - they let their users create cosmetics for their games, give them 25% of the profit for doing 100% of the work, force them to sign non-disclosure agreements about the exact details of what Valve said to them, and then laugh as they make billions of dollars off a system that outsources their labour to their users, giving them hundreds of thousands of items to choose and cherry pick at their leisure made by users who pray that they win the Valve lottery, a lottery where the actual quality of your item makes no difference as to whether it gets picked (including a FUCKING BANANA), meaning they have no incentive whatsoever to create new content to support the same users that have carried them through the years and have given them all of their profit.
  • Opinion Myopia:invoked Froge laments the massive popularity of certain titles he doesn't enjoy:
    Let's talk about PC - oh, Overwatch has 20,000,000 players? Well, I think that says it fucking all. I guess we're going to ignore how Undertale made $10,000,000? Or how a generic survival horror game like Rust sold 3,000,000 copies in early access, having the balls to charge thirty bucks for the thing without reskins, or how a Harvest Moon clone like Stardew Valley stole away 1,000,000 copies? I guess Nintendo was right to release the same garbage year after year, because that's all that's fucking selling.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: From the LISA Session 01 Review:
    Let's see - reviewers claiming it had high difficulty, a moral choice system that is supposed to challenge you, a dark and emotionally riveting story, a wide variety of characters to get to know and relate to. Wait a second... Undertale? Is that you in disguise? You piece of shit, don't show up on my blog unless you take off that mask and bring the goat boy with you.
  • Pet the Dog:
    • Half of the BUAFYs exist for the purpose of commending good work, such as The Brony Music Archive protecting "a proud horse history", a Goldeneye speedrun previously thought impossible, the unique culture of Vaporwave and how it affects our own, and the PRISM-BREAK website for showcasing tools to protect against passive surveillance.
    • Froge starts his review of Tem Dayting Sim with a disclaimer saying he isn't against the fans of works, even if he doesn't like the same things as them:
      First, allow me to air out some concerns. For all that I rag on certain games, less out of genuine dislike and more out of providing an easy example of trends that I actually dislike, this has absolutely nothing to do with derivative works or the people who make such derivative works. I do not dislike those who indulge in bad anime or bad games - I may dislike them because of their attitude, but never because they have the gall to enjoy something I don't. This is especially true for the kind creators of the artistic commons that exist solely because of works like Undertale. In simpler terms, without Undertale, there wouldn't be art like Tem Dayting Sym. All art belongs to the public, by the public, and for the public, for the public to do whatever they wish, without restriction. To create one work from another is an appreciation of our culture, and is something I can never be against.
    • Undertale comes up again in his Haruhi Suzumiya Episode 08 review:
      I didn't like Undertale (as you know, and I won't ever stop bringing it up the cunt that I am)... but the very first scene with the flower, the entire world with the skeleton brothers, and the Mettaton boss fight being one of the greatest fights in video games I have ever had the pleasure of playing (oh, yes...), I wouldn't even call you out on it if you forgive the awful level design, nonsensical plot, and awareness of video game tropes without giving them the proper respect they deserve. It's a lot like a dinner - the whole first section may be horrible, but when you get some green tea ice cream that tastes like nothing you've ever tasted before, it justifies the entire expense of both time and money.
  • The Points Mean Nothing:
    • One of Froge's big gripes with reviewers is how they score games, inflating scores to the point where they become meaningless, distilling thousands of words of opinion into an arbitrary number, stifles thought by causing viewers to focus on a number instead of what a game means to them personally, and that reviewers are pressured to give scores according to public opinion in order to keep their jobs.
      Gamers have been taught that the only games worth playing are those with numbers that start with "nine", and sometimes "eight", regardless of what they would personally enjoy. To replace a review, with all its nuances, biases, and opinions, into a one-byte number is like replacing a Mozart symphony with a five-second MIDI, or the Louvre with a single-frame GIF. It's so poor of an abstraction that it tells you almost nothing about the work at large, and what little it tells you is not enough to make your own opinions on a work, instead leading to dismissal by a bored gamer who looks at numbers and decides to play games because of those numbers.
    • From Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews:
      Sadly VHS vs Betamax already loses points (which don't matter) because of its misleading title, not featuring a fascinating documentary about the format wars of the 1980s.
    • Mentioned in The First Quarterly Froge Ball:
      Welcome to the first quarterly Froge Ball, where the points don't matter and it happens every 90 days for no adequately explained reason, despite this one appearing exactly 180 days after the foundation, as I did not have the brilliant foresight to imagine I would want to host so many parties.
  • Public-Domain Character: Although the little froggy favicon on every page has never been introduced, seeing as everything on the website is licensed under CC0 1.0 Universal, anybody can expand on it for free without asking permission. Same for everything else on the blog.
  • Punny Name: Froge's description of competing consoles, from the Nintendo Switch and Other Such Shit article:
    I would wonder why Nintendo is still trying to make the process as idiot proof as possible for a console that is being blatantly marketed towards fucking idiots (though fucking idiots is their entire audience), though given that Micrococks and Sorry (that's some Comedy Gold trademarked) have been slowly and steadily breaking their consoles with every patch since release, causing their subreddits to bitch while the cool kids are playing with their idiot-proof Micrococks Winblows Poopable Piss Cunt Cuntsumer Dickvice to have fun with. I must apologise that my writing has devolved to that of an ten-year-olds'.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Froge dedicates 2,500 words of his The Industrial Steamworks article to dissecting and countering every sentence of an apology made by a Valve Software representative regarding the paid mods fiasco:
    You know why it's so damn hard to apologise to somebody? Because it shows humility. Because it shows you fucked up. It shows that you admit you were wrong, wholeheartedly, and without mincing words. When you apologise, you bare yourself to your audience and ask for forgiveness, and promise that you won't betray their trust again. And if you're lucky, they'll believe you. They'll be willing to admit your wrongdoings, because they actually care about you, and given you their blessing to try again and succeed.
    But Valve? Valve can't have that. Because they don't have the trust of their users - they betray it time and time and time and time and time again with their false promises and abusive business model. They can't apologise, because their users won't forgive them. Not for all the time they wasted in Valve's honeypot, not for all the days they spent addicted to Valve's games, and not for the thousands of dollars that they wasted on virtual goods that does nothing more than give them a false sense of accomplishment while making Valve rich. You are a company that has damaged our industry more than any other company has before. Not even Atari fucked up this badly - because at least Atari killed off the industry instead of letting it crawl with both its legs amputated with keys, its arms shot dead by all of the narcissistic weapons your customers bought, it's heart replaced with a crate, and it's head with a hole where its common sense should be, because you lured them into a situation where they never even knew they were being taken advantage of.
  • Scenery Porn: Praised Bioshock Infinite in his review for having graphics that make very pretty screenshots, but then proceeded to lambast the game for the rest of the review for having them actively interfere with gameplay, creating confusing and mentally exhausting combat because of the need to always look past the particle effects, figure out who's shooting from where, and aim through a haze of needless debris, comparing it unfavourably to Video Game/Quake, stating that a hardcore shooter needs a sparse art style in order to recognise what you need to kill.
    Simplicity isn't a cop-out that designers use in order to take earlier lunch breaks. It's a fundamental principle of design that perfection is not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to remove. The Bioshock Infinite developers got that wrong, choosing to keep adding in whatever graphic principles were in vogue in order to satisfy an arbitrary designation of "looking good", no matter how much the gameplay suffers. You cannot have a hardcore shooter with an art style that constantly distracts from the shooting, which is why it's so exhaust ing to play this game when every fight you get into makes you spend mental energy trying to decipher the scene.
  • Schedule Slip:invoked
    • The BUAFYs occasionally hold examples of Froge's failure to update, mostly due to the alleged "falling asleep".
    • Mentioned and somewhat justified in The First Quarterly Froge Ball:
      The Chronically Distracted Copywriter award for lack of punctuality goes towards the 12 / 180 days where I failed to update my BUAFY. I don't remember specifics to the point where any of these were justified, though considering how difficult it is for me to deliver so much content on a daily basis, persevering out of sheer determination, I assume that at least some of those days were an acceptable break from the challenge.
    • Used to criticise Valve Software in his Industrial Steamworks article, saying they've turned their legendary failure at keeping a schedule into a quirky marketing gimmick:
      The quickest way to spot a liar is to see if they make do on their promises. No excuses, no bullshit after the fact, no stories of what might have been. If a man doesn't do what they say, and doesn't do it when they say they will, they are an unreliable person, and should never be trusted. You could spend a lifetime telling the truth, but if you lie once, you'll be forever known as a liar. If you can lie once and never be trusted again, then Valve can lie dozens of times and still be trusted by millions of gamers. This is a real fucked up, post-ironic society we live in.
  • Self-Deprecation: Insults a good deal of gaming companies in the Bioshock Infinite review:
    The base of the game is perfectly competent, which is a lot more well done than some other game companies can manage, like Valve, EA, Bethesda, Ubisoft, Id, Ion Storm, Square Enix, Eidos, and IO Interactive. Okay, a lot of companies. Why the fuck is our industry so dumb?
  • Sensory Abuse: Harshly rebuked a small game called Cacti Love for this in the Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews:
    It did its job by making me associate "vaporwave" with "physically sick", but causing me ironic pain is still causing me pain. So good work.
  • "Shaggy Dog" Story:
    • A Six Flags story where Froge and his gay best friend get rejected at Six Flags and prepare to beat up Wayne Brady only for him to turn into Colin Mochrie and turn into an elaborate prank on the Whose Line is it Anyway set, as his sense of reality turns in on itself and turns the universe to darkness.
    • The first section of the JanusVR Review is devoted to the sights he sees within the program, ending after Froge fails to load porn:
      I am disappointed to say the supposed benefits of VR porn, at least without the goggles, as if I'm spending real-world dollars on real-world hardware, it better be a real-world investment, has been greatly exaggerated. The video wouldn't even play for most of the rooms, I got audio on the gay one (you start getting desperate), and the deep throat kings froze on the intro. Bloody hell, if I knew I was wasting valuable bandwidth on this instead of folding proteins for cancer, I would have spent it all on regular porn.
  • Shout-Out: To Zero Punctuation in his Bojack Horseman Episode 11 Review:
    Coming off of a Richard relocation over here...
  • Sir Swearsalot:
    • Froge's attitude towards swearing depends on the article he's writing, with the satirical Review of an Untitled Masterpiece having its worst swear be "asshole", while at the same time not afraid to title articles like Secure Comms for the Cool Cunny and Nintendo Switch and Other Such Shit - that article containing "fuck" 101 times.
    • The official motto for some time was "Web cult for cool cunts", before being replaced by a generic reference depending on Froge's mood.
    • Played for laughs with the Nintendo Switch preview:
      Micrococks Winblows Poopable Piss Cunt Cuntsumer Dickvice. I must apologise that my writing has devolved to that of an ten-year-olds'.
      ...companies such as Micro...soft... and So...ny... (you see, I can be mature, too).
  • Slow-Paced Beginning:invoked Mentioned in a review for "The Endless Express" in the Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews:
    It would have been enough if the game was just about waiting for a train in real-time with jack all to do, and perhaps I would have played it to see if it gets better. We have to understand that "it gets better" means that "it starts off bad", which is a horrible, horrible trait for any piece of art to have, but not to be confused with "it starts out simple", which is a good trait to ease the audience into.
  • The Social Darwinist: Froge is strongly against this notion, saying that letting people die for no reason is a building block of fascism. He uses it to rebuke those who are complicit with online gambling:
    It's the libertarian ideal that people should be allowed to damage themselves if they may choose, without any government intervention whatsoever, and as we all know this social darwinism is the building block of fascism, E.G. letting people die isn't good for the world. Gambling addictions aren't lethal, even given the potential to be in the case of malnourishment or seizures, but it is severely damaging in terms of money, time, and social status lost because of it. Society has a vested interest in taking formerly productive people out of the virtual casinos and back into the real world, where they may live healthily yet again, much more so than if they let them wallow away in the dull miasma of addiction.
  • Suckiness Is Painful: In Froge's section devoted to Cacti Love, he immediately notes that nobody should play the game because it's damaging to the player:
    For this reason alone I can't recommend it, as I only played for ten minutes and I was already in pain. I don't mean metaphorical pain - I bloody hate when critics stretch the truth like that - but actual pain, like somebody put a needle between your eyes and pushed in and pulled out.
  • Take That!:
    • Half of the purpose of the BUAFYs is to bring attention to subjects he dislikes, such as design decisions in products, organisations that go against their community, companies which hunt out pirates, and even TV Tropes! What a coincidence.
    • Against Saudi Arabia in Nintendo Switch and Other Such Shit:
      Nintendo has a history of boring names, such as the "DS" being the "Developer System", despite treating Homebrewers worse than atheists in Saudi Arabia, or women in Saudi Arabia, or foreigners in Saudi Arabia, or journalists in Saudi Arabia, or the sand in Saudi Arabia.
    • Towards Michael Moore:
      I'm not saying there's a conspiracy between the game publishers to shove prolefeed down your throats. Pulling a Michael Moore is beneath me, though seeing the man implied that there was a government-funded conspiracy to incarcerate the entire black population because of anti-drug laws, there's not much that isn't above him.
    • Brings up Reddit vigilantism in My Dinner with JanusVR:
      I think it says worlds about a program when it's dedicated the very first room that people will explore to a website which is most famous for accusing somebody of doing the Boston Bombings and then causing them to commit suicide.
    • The "Review of an Untitled Masterpiece", which is actually a satirical review of a cheap doodle made in a smoothie shop that he devotes to critics who take works of art too seriously.
      If there was a point to this entire triad (and I do have one), it's that a critic can talk about a thing for thousands of words and still not say anything about it - a parody of critics who take themselves too seriously by applying extraordinary symbolism, techniques, and other misapplications of the arts far beyond what exists in the art itself.
    • Against Buzzfeed in his Bojack Horseman Episode 10 Review:
      Working for Buzzfeed turned out to not be such a horrible choice if you have the opportunity to publish a horse-man's biography. So in this world, never.
  • True Art Is Incomprehensible:invoked Invoked for a review of the game Cacti Love, in the Shitty Vaporwave Indie Game Reviews:
    True art is incomprehensible. To the unenlightened, it is nonsense. Fortunately this is not true art, and was indeed something slapped together in their living room as a parody of vaporwave ideals.
  • Vow of Celibacy: Supposedly Froge is celibate, so long as he wasn't lying:
    (Catalie is a really great name. I'd kiss a girl named Catalie if I wasn't celibate)
  • Wall of Text:
    • The BUAFYs can reach up to 500 words in a single paragraph, which doesn't sound like much, until you actually try reading it all in one go. For reference, that's the size of a modest newspaper article, or your average high school essay.
    • Froge is notorious for his thousands-of-words long articles (usually 6,000 for an indepth-article, ranging from double to half that depending on complexity), all on a single page, meaning you're going have a heck of a time picking up where you left off if you don't remember the section - if the article even has sections. Any sufficiently long section could be the length of an article on its own, but taken together as a cohesive work combined with his ramblings, makes for a much stronger impact.
  • Yiff: Froge seems to be a fan, even mentioning a premier furry porn site once in a while:
    Fuck you to Google for forcing me into making a Google account just to download applications on my cell phone - though the reason I even have one is to look at furry porn and to bail my spaghetti ass out if I accidently bike into a gay bar and have to escape the hordes of men coming after me. Fuck - at least pay for the full hour.
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