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Blatant Lies / Webcomics

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Blatant Lies in webcomics.

  • In M9 Girls!, when Vero is caught snooping into the Professor's lab, her impromptu alibi is quite unconvincing.
  • El Goonish Shive:
  • In Misfile, Rumisiel's presence is explained as being Ash's Canadian exchange student live-in boyfriend. Since the story takes place in Massachusetts, this is regarded as being a little implausible to say the least.
    • This may be the single best example. Why has Rumisiel never seen snow before?
      Rumisiel: Yeah... but I'm from, like, the tropical part of Canada. The vast Canadian Empire ranges far and wide, you know, eh?
      Dr. Upton: There is something desperately wrong with that sentence, but I'm too tired to care. Remind me in the future never to talk to you until after I've had my coffee.
      Rumisiel: The Emperor of Canada once told me the same thing.
  • City Under The Hill has this Trope often invoked by Slim on topics ranging from whether or not he stole evidence from a crime scene, to whether or not he's ever going to pretend to obey the law.
  • Sluggy Freelance:
    • The Guacans of the Punyverse arc will insist that they do not eat people, even while sharpening cleavers and warming up the cooking pots. "Come to Chau-5, we won't eat you!"
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    • In "Aylee", after a 50-foot-tall Aylee runs through the suburbs causing mass destruction, she retreats into her shell and tries to pass herself off as a volcano. When the mob chasing her wonder how a volcano wound up in New Jersey, Aylee tells them global warming did it. Everyone finds this perfectly plausible and never question the fact that a volcano just answered their question.
  • 8-Bit Theater:
    • Red Mage and Thief use this when Ranger asks why they betrayed his group:
      Thief: Ghosts.
      Red Mage: Aliens.
      Thief: Ghost aliens.
      Red Mage: Who possessed us.
      Thief: From space!
    • Warmech is especially prone to this.
      Black Mage: Oh, Lord, why does the robot have a mustache?
      Warmech: I grew it with my human lip.
  • Penny Arcade:
    • The first part of this. (Gabe's not exactly well-versed in the difference between dragons and dragaerans.)
      Gabe: You told me this book a) wasn't fantasy, and b) contained no dragons.
    • And then there was the time Gabe wrestled Windows XP
      Gabe: You said this would be easy, a half an hour tops! My world is pain!
      Tycho: Gabe, sometimes in order to hurt someone very badly, you have to tell that person terrible lies.
  • Buck Godot engages in a bit of this toward the end of the Psmith storyline (warning: spoilers!) toward the end, when he alternates between telling Psmith one thing and Der Rock the precise opposite, in front of them both.
  • DM of the Rings: Walking sticks.
  • In Questionable Content, comic #499, Jeph writes in his little blurb at the bottom of the page "Comic number 500 is Monday. I don't have anything particularly special planned, but who knows." for the entire run of QC previous to this, Faye and Marten's possible relationship had driven most of the plot. In comic number 500, the two of them resolve the situation and the plot progresses. Faye likes Marten just fine, but she has lingering trust issues and can't maintain a relationship. Everything works out just fine, and they're still roommates.
    • Also present in several scenes where Faye knocks someone out, then explains their unconsciousness with "Owls." when they wake up.
  • In The Order of the Stick, Haley has a Bluff Skill that is ridiculously high, letting her get away with almost anything.
    • Turned Up to Eleven in this strip thanks to a potion of glibness. This is consistent with D&D 3.5 rules - If your Bluff check beats your opponent's Sense Motive by 20 or more, you can get them to believe things that are actually impossible. Glibness adds 30 to your Bluff check.
      • And used to Tear Jerking effect here.
    • Also, Xykon. To quote the prequel book "Start of Darkness": "Fun fact: If you beg me for mercy, I'll let you live." (Insert begging.) "Even more fun fact: I'm a total liar."
    • Belkar tries to explain why a Protection from Evil trinket is causing him pain.
  • On MS Paint Masterpieces, Dr. Wily manages to get Dr. Light to build all the robots he uses for his first attempt at world domination by saying they're for mining.
  • In Stick Figure Hamlet, Laertes poisons his sword by dipping it in a barrel labeled "Not Poison, Honest".
  • In Bob and George, Kalinka goes for No one up here but us air duct mice.
  • Skin Horse has a few examples.
    • In this strip, Unity, who is a zombie, tries unsuccessfully to uphold the Masquerade.
      Unity: Civilian, you is smoking crack. I am a totally normal alive human federal agent.
      [her arm falls off]
      Unity: ...who has a cold.
    • Moustachio, gone temporarily evil due to overwinding, does it in this strip. Unity doesn't notice.
      Unity: What is this thing?
      Moustachio: it is a small man-portable fusion reac
      Moustachio: wait
      Moustachio: initializing prevarication
      Moustachio: it is a pie
  • There are NO blatant lies in Girl Genius. Certainly not in the last panel of this page. He's even got a signature to prove it!
    • "Aid me! I am the Agatha girl!"
    • The Corbettite Monks are at a total loss to explain how Martellus Von Blitzengard fell down so suddenly. Why, it must have been the work of those legendary Smoke Knights!
    • After a Time Skip, a just revived Tarvek and Gil talk about the ugly clothing they're wearing. Gil's answer? It's the future. Everyone dresses like that.
  • Not surprisingly, in Sinfest, The Devil and his minions are prone to this, such as this strip.
  • Bittersweet Candy Bowl, David: "I'm menstruating."
  • Manipulative Bastard Adam Terrence from Loserz is an expert at this. See this strip.
  • Dillon's agent in Ménage à 3, attempting to explain away the fact that he's in a Transparent Closet. And the best part? Not only does the agent seem to believe it himself, but Dillon thinks it's credible because Oprah presumably said it.
    Dillon: You's none of my business...but someday you will have to tell your wife you're gay.
    Dillon's Agent: Ho-ho-ho! Don't be silly! I'm not gay! That's why I have you wear the wig!
    Dillon: I think it might be a little bit gay.
    Dillon's Agent: Dilly...straight married men have secret gay sex all the time!
    Dillon: That sounds made up.
    Dillon's Agent: It's true! It's called "being on the down low". Saw it on Oprah.
    • From the same universe, this was how Lavali of Sandra on the Rocks tried to stay in her extremely Transparent Closet every time her parents and/or brother would catch her in a compromising position with a girl. Which was often. None of them bought her flimsy excuses for a second, but she somehow got the impression that she had masterfully deceived them all.
  • Footloose the objection to a Wounded Gazelle Gambit.
  • Bug insists that skipping isn't gay.
  • Each update of "No Black Plume" comes with the authors' real credentials.
  • Sandra of Zebra Girl initially trying to cover up her demonic appearance starts out very badly at this. Her story about the origins of her "scars" involves low flying birds, a ladder and a room full of knives.
    Mike: So...
    Sandra: I'M NOT A DEMON!
  • Contemplating Reiko:
  • A meta-example occurs in Mountain Time when the author claims to have injured his hand beyond the ability to write or draw... in his own handwriting, over a series of 12 drawings.
  • VG Cats: Updates every Monday!
  • In Looking for Group, Richard gives us this gem:
    Richard: Listen, like I told your captain, that orphanage attacked me. It was self defense.
    • Later, he claims the Fork of Truth is the Spoon of Lies, mere moments after suggesting they use the Fork of Truth to defeat their powerful mage foe.
  • In No Rest for the Wicked, November says -- badly -- that the stories of the witch sound like something to frighten children with.
  • Sonichu creator Chris Chandler does this all the frickin' time.
  • In Rusty and Co., the vampire lies to Madeline to get around the problem of going around her nature.
  • In Red's Planet, the exhausted Red urges her companion to tell her if it's too much, and then finally insists on a rest -- for his sake, she says.
  • In Knights of Buena Vista, Mary confesses that her in-character acting stinks, and Walter says he never noticed, despite biting his tongue about it earlier.
  • Schlock Mercenary:
    • When the entire company is on trial due to a job they did in UNS space.
      Petey: Captain, you have heard the charges. How do you plead? Before you answer, you should know that if you plead "guilty" you'll be immediately extradited and U.N.S. law will take over.
      Captain Tagon: Not guilty.
      Petey: Also, it's not very nice to lie in court.
      Captain Tagon: But it beats extradition.
    • When Captain Landon joins a mission through a teraport cage to reinforce the Toughs, he has quite a bit of difficulty justifying this as part of his job providing security for the UNS embassy.
      Landon: This is an off-site training exercise.
      Bala-Amin: Most of those "training" with you aren't UNS personnel.
      Landon: Because it's a joint-forces training exercise.
      Bala-Amin: According to the roster, you are the only UNS soldier there.
      Landon: I'm learning a lot about working with other people.
  • In Luminary Children, Lyzza's ability is to make people believe whatever she says, which of course leads to the most absurd lies.
  • In Cinema Snob Reviews Frozen (a fan comic where The Cinema Snob reviews Frozen), Snob claims he always knew that the movie was going to be good, and the context is clear he thought it would suck from just watching the trailers.
  • The Adventures of Dr. McNinja
    • Victor the obvious spy claims to be plumber — even when he's caught installing a camera on the ceiling, he claims it's a strange toilet. In a later story, when he's caught having been hiding in the Doctor's office for ages and taking part in specific political intrigue that he's confessed to, he still presents a plumbing bill.
    • Subverted with an Alt Text in "AWOL MD" that claims a bunch of kids' heads that exploded will grow back later. It sounds like a blatant lie, but they do.
  • In Operation Reboot, Shae feeds a story to her mother that is completely absurd (though much less so than her brother's). Hilariously, her mother buys it anyway.
  • In Awful Hospital, after a bloodied surgical table pipes up with a glowing appraisal of the Scissors:
    Fern: Okay, is there anything in here that doesn't talk?
    The Floor: I don't talk.
  • Guttersnipe features this rather impressive case:
    "If these ain't alkyhol, then why does they got X's on 'em?"
    "Uh ... Why, because this water is highly pornographic!"
  • In Ozzie the Vampire, Ozzie denies being a vampire while floating in mid-air with her wings out. She almost gets away with it because Gogmagog has only the barest idea of what humans are supposed to look like.


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