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Badass Boast / Webcomics

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Badass Boasts in webcomics.

  • 8-Bit Theater:
    • Sarda, of all people:
      Sarda: "Wizard?" Are you kidding me? Wizards do parlor tricks. I throttle the heavens!
    • And another, though subverted in that he's wrong and shortly explodes.
      Sarda: This...this isn't right... this... will not be... I am Sarda. And I am older than time. I possess a power beyond mortal imagination. My plans will not be undone by such amateur-hour horse shit as absorbing too much power and exploding. I am Sarda. My will be done.
    • Not to mention:
      Black Mage: Can we have a minute?
      Chaos: I am the yawning chasm from before the before; the darkness after the end of all things. I am nothing and no thing is eternal.
      Black Mage: ...is that a yes?
    • "Yeah, I sweat wisdom for breakfast."
  • The 10 Doctors: Dalek Tor is supreme.
  • In The Adventures of Dr. McNinja, Dr. McNinja does this on his sidekick's behalf. To Dracula, no less.
    Dr. McNinja: Do you think I run around with a 12-year-old boy because I like his inferior grasp of girls and higher level math? Do you think I left him with my psychotic parents because I wanted him to die? No, you undead pale ponce! Gordito is the effing Badass Kid! So go ahead and finish up your masterful scheme to make me let you kill me, because Gordito's going to slap around whatever ghost lackey you have like he was a pinata on the mexican day of the dead!
  • In Bob and George's first actual gag, Megaman is reeling this off to a villain, with steadily decreasing confidence.
  • Breaking Cat News: When the cats start Naptime Championship Wrestling, Elvis and Lupin have some interesting ones.
    Elvis: I'm the prince of pounce, the duke of puke, the Siamese you cannot please, Mommy's special boy, Elvis! And I'm coming for you, Lupin!
    Lupin: Elvis, I'll fight you anytime, anywhere. Outside the nursery door, under the baby's crib, on the baby's bookcase, YOU NAME IT!
  • Charby the Vampirate: When Zeno is freaking out over endangering his newfound friends:
    Charby: I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Charby. I'm a vampire. I've lived in Kellwood for over 300 years. I survived getting stabbed clean through the chest with a sword! I pulled it out and cut the other guy's head off! Whatever is after you it's no challenge for me and Menulis.
  • Crankrats:
    Hunter: “You know... only two men in the world are allowed to insult me. One of them is dead... the other is waiting for my call... which makes you neither.”
  • Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures, anyone?
    • Subverted here, too.
    • Jyrras gets one too here.
  • In Darths & Droids, during the final fight between Anakin and Obi-Wan, Anakin thanks Obi-Wan for realizing his true feelings and that he realizes that he truly is the Sith Lord.
    Obi-Wan: But, the Sith are a legend!
    Anakin: I am the legend!
  • Dominic Deegan spells it out for Celesto at the climax of the Storm of Souls story arc:
    "No matter how furious or destructive a storm may be, there is always a center of peace and serenity. I am the champion of balance...the eye of the storm.
    "I have done battle with demons and stared into the face of hell itself. You think I'm scared of a racist bully with a crush he can't handle?"
  • Dragon Ball Multiverse:
    • Broly gets exactly one line that isn't incoherent screaming, when powering up.
      "I AM THE LEGENDARY WARRIOR!"
    • King Cold too, when fighting Bardock.
      "You think I'm afraid of an opponent who can see the future... my opponents have no future!"
  • The Dragon Doctors: "I am a total magical badass."
    • Also, more recently:
      Sarin (to a criminal holding her friend's girlfriend hostage at gunpoint): I suggest you surrender before I embarrass you. You have my full attention. That means you're beaten.
    • During the same arc, Combat Medic Goro says, "Never underestimate a guerilla defending their turf. This is a hospital. You're in my jungle now."
    • Attributed to the founder of the Hearts Society: I am the little flame that never goes out. If you try to stamp on me, I will burn a hole straight through your foot. I am the eternal thorn in the side of emperors, the grain of sand in every tyrant's eye. You have no authority over me.
  • El Goonish Shive:
    • Chaos has one while the left half of her body is amorphous claws and teeth, right before she leaves Magus to eternal isolation in the spirit realm.
      Chaos: You've asked many times what my name is. I have had many, but I will give you the full one I have chosen for myself. Pandora. Chaos. Raven. Refer to me as one or all. I will live up to that name. Ponder that in your newfound isolation.
    • Raven chewing the scenery and spoon-feeding it to Abraham.
      Raven: You are a homicidal wizard invading a public school. No one will care if I kill you.
  • Near the climax of book 1 of Erfworld, Wanda leads her undead airforce into battle against Ansom with the following chant (if anything made somewhat more menacing by her recent trauma-induced stutter):
    Wanda: Rejoice. Despair. Fate does n-not care. Each knotted mmind entwined. Each sso...soul, another's bind. And blind... though we are led, in time, we d-...do know when to cut a thread!
  • Fans! had this recent bit with Rikk and Marc after Hus claimed that Rikk was beaten the last time he was in the field:
    Rikk: First off, I got sucker-punched by Captain America. That's like giving Michael Phelps a head start. Secondly, I've spent the last five years with two remarkable women. One of them's one of the toughest, cleverest fighters I've ever seen anywhere. The other is Rumiko Tanaka Oberf! We work hard, but we do make time for each other. And when we're not vegging or sharing a bed...we like to spar! Marc and I aren't here to impress you, Hus. We're here to bring you to justice.
    Marc: Bully needs a beatdown! [to Rikk] Yours was way more wootworthy.
    Rikk: No, you gave a good closing statement.
  • Freefall: Blunt has perhaps the best one for a robot in regards to how he survived a solar flare that should have rendered him little more than a humanoid metal brick.
    Blunt: I have looked. The blue screen of death. In the eye. And forced it to reboot.
  • Girl Genius:
    • Klaus Wulfenbach, emperor of most of Europa, gets a minor one here. "I will go by myself. Let the people see that I can."
    • Gil demonstrates the correct form here:
      Gil: I do not intend to have Agatha escape one prison by entering another. She will not be used as some political pawn. She will not be enslaved "for the good of the Empire." You knew me at school, and perhaps don't take me very seriously. That would be a mistake. You must understand this. When I come to her, she will be safe, unharmed, and free. Because I WILL come to her—and if she is not—I will DESTROY "Her Undying Majesty"—melt what is left of your miserable island to SLAG—AND BOIL THE SEAS AROUND YOU FOR THE NEXT THOUSAND YEARS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?
      Wooster: You—you couldn't!
      Gil: Couldn't!? COULDN'T!? I am GILGAMESH WULFENBACH, little man — and there is NOTHING I couldn't do, had I cause!
    • Better still when he defended Mechanicsburg:
      Gilgamesh: I am GILGAMESH WULFENBACH, Son of Klaus. I will say this only ONCE — LEAVE NOW, or you will DIE.
    • And then he shows he wasn't bluffing.
      Gilgamesh: This is not a TRICK! I did NOT get LUCKY! I am GILGAMESH WULFENBACH! And I am in control!
    • Gil proceeds to go 3 for 3 with this gem when he's challenged by one of his father's minions, indicating that he is Made of Win.
    • Agatha makes certain no one in the castle will mistake her heritage again:
      Agatha: I AM THE RIGHTFUL HETERODYNE! Your pink fake left here in bloody shreds! Because this is my castle! I am the one who killed it — I am the one who brought it back — and I am the one who will restore it to its full strength! You are going to help me or you'll feel that full strength on the backs of your necks! Do you understand?
    • Then he goes four for four when he beats the crap out of Vole, and recruits him as a minion for the sole purpose of being The Starscream just to keep himself sharp.
      Gilgamesh: We'll make it a GAME. "Who's the SCARIEST MONSTER?"
    • Tarvek got one similar to Gil's "in control" rant.
      Tarvek: You and Lucrezia have done nothing but destroy my life and my plans, and now you're trying to destroy the one bright spot left and that I will not permit!
      Zola: All right... I give up
      Tarvek: Oh, nonono no, you do not "give up!" YOU DIE!
    • Agatha gets another rather dramatic one:
      Agatha: I do not need rescuing. I AM THE HETERODYNE!
  • Goblins gives one to Dies Horribly of all people
    Demon: I'm going to rip you apart.
    Dies Horribly: You've already done that. It didn't work.
  • Gosu: After overwhelming Dang Gan with a Divine Heavenly Destruction Technique and leaving him seemingly dead, Gang Ryong says this gem to Jin Garyeong:
    "No-one can take a Divine Heavenly Destruction Technique head-on and survive."
  • Grrl Power:
    • Maxima has a low-key one, when she discussing how she spent her tour of duty fighting indigenous supers in Afghanistan.
      Reporter: They have Supers in Iraq and Afghanistan?
      Maxima: Hmh. Not as many as they used to.
    • A warning to potential Supervillains:
      Maxima: They say that Superheroes are best defined by their Rogues Gallery. I can promise you that our rogues will either be incarcerated... in traction... or interred.
    • Math the martial artist is technically not a super... but as he says himself:
      Math: There's no such thing... [punches superhuman across a parking lot] ...as just human.
  • Guilded Age has two back-to-back:
    Gigundus: "I am the Priestlord Gigundus! There is no authority here but mine, elf. My word is the blood that flows through this world and washes out its disobedience."
    Byron: "Yeah, well. I'm Byron the Berserker. Mine are the axes that thirst for blood."
    • Later, after the Gastonians suffer a defeat at the hands of the World's Rebellion, Penk delivers one to the Peacemakers.
      Penk: "There is nothing that you can build that we will not tear down. There is no land that you can take that we will not reclaim. For my god is a fiery, vengeful god. It is by his will that we live to face you again. Pray to your own gods...while you can.
  • Gunnerkrigg Court: Coyote's formal introduction.
    • Most such boasts are huge, flashy, and overt, filled with eloquent speech and burning emotion. But the truly powerful ones don't need any of that. That just makes Jones' simple statement to Coyote that "You know I can take her if I wish." all the more impressive. She calmly tells Coyote himself, in the heart of his own domain, that if she chose to act, he couldn't stop her. Jones doesn't rant or shout. She doesn't need to, which makes that line all the more badass.
      • Just to put this in perspective: a bit later, Coyote, for a moment, stops time except for himself and Antimony, even freezing Jones mid-sentence! And Jones can still take Antimony without Coyote being able to stop her!
  • Shogun from Harkovast, on his own, speaking to an army of the Nameless:
    "Fight me or flee; it makes no difference now. All of you are going to die!"
  • Rose Lalonde does one right after the epic ending of Homestuck Act 4. Her point is helped by the fact she just tore an entire Gamefaqs walkthrough out of the Internet with a magic spell and sent it to the Furthest Ring:
    I am not playing by the rules anymore. I will fly around this candy-coated rock and comb the white sand until I find answers. No one can tell me our fate can't be repaired.
    • Aradia Megido gets a heartwarming one after returning from the dead.
    You're done with dying.
    • Sollux gets one before his fight with Eridan:
    "ii should have kiiled you on lobaf when ii had the chance. oh well, guess iit'2 only fiittiing ii'd take you down iin ROUND TWO."
    "Upon reflection, Redglare showed the foresight of a true seer in thieving my arm 8efore the trial. It permitted a fair fight."
    • At the end of the Doc Scratch intermission, Lord English gets one that crosses into horrifying:
    DO YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN ESCAPE ME BEFORE I ARRIVE?
    HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO OUTRUN ME
    WHEN I AM ALREADY HERE?
    • And now we have one from Dirk, too.
    Dirk: The Prince is awake. Your shit is wrecked.
    • Bonus points for delivery: the note is stuck on a spear in the middle of a crowded square, along with his would-be assassin's head.
    TG: bow down before your new king bitch
    ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN.
    THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING.
    IT IS A WRATHFUL GOD WHO DESPISES YOU MORE THAN YOU COULD HAVE POSSIBLY DARED TO FEAR. [...] PROSTRATE BEFORE THE STUPID AND FALSE CLOWN GODS YOU HAVE SCRIBBLED ON THE WALLS OF YOUR BLOCK. BOGUS DEITIES WORSHIPED BY A PRIMITIVE "PARADISE" PLANET. BUT YOUR PRAYERS WILL NOT BE ANSWERED. THERE ARE NO MIRACLES IN STORE FOR YOU, HUMAN. ONLY MY HATE. IT IS A HATE SO PURE AND HOT IT WOULD CONSUME YOUR SAD UNDERDEVELOPED HUMAN THINK PAN TO EVEN CONTEMPLATE. IT IS A HATE THAT TO FATHOM MUST BE PUT INTO SONG. [...] IT IS A HATE THAT MADE YOU AND WILL SURELY DESTROY YOU. MY HATE IS THE LIFEBLOOD THAT PULSES THROUGH THE VEINS OF YOUR UNIVERSE.
    IT IS MY GIFT TO YOU.
    YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THAT. YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT.
  • From How I Killed Your Master:
    Ji Jiao: Everyone knows you haven't fought in ten years.
    Master Fei: *after the Curb-Stomp Battle* It's been ten years since anyone spoke of my fights because no one has walked away from them in that time.
    • Also, Fei quoting Liu Feng:
      "I don't know what it's like to hit a man twice."
  • The Inexplicable Adventures of Bob!: After being injured by the Cone Ship...
    Butterfly of Iron: "You dare attack me?! I'll shred the spacetime in which you float! I'll unravel the matter and the naught and the very all of you!!!"
    • Galatea gets off a pretty good one when she hijacks Riboflavin's ship...
    Galatea: "Heed me, Butane! This is Captain Galatea Martin of the starship Lathe of Empires! Captain Riboflavin has been removed! You no longer face a withered Methuselah with a 1,300 year track record of failure, but instead, a competent woman with a gun pointed at your heads! I promise you wise and just leadership... if you surrender... now!"
  • From Jack: "My name is Jack, and I'm going to kill everyone in this room."
  • Marena, Keychain of Creation, explaining her situation to another Exalt:
    "We are Exalted. I have been singled out and empowered by the gods. Specifically, by Luna. Endowed with the power to change my own form, and the responsibility to protect the entire world from its enemies. All Exalted are stronger, tougher, even smarter than any normal human. If we will it so, we do not even bleed. Even the greatest sickness gives me only chills, and the most grievous wounds are healed in mere days. Mortal men and women are bound by society, by culture, by destiny. We are not. It is not my place to follow the normal rules of conduct. It is my place to decide what is right or wrong. That has been granted to me by my goddess, Luna. The Moon. In short, in being Exalted, I have divine endorsement to do whatever I please."
    • Of course, she gave this as explanation for her homewrecking ways, so YMMV.
  • In Kidd Commander, Ulrich Weiss introduces himself as a professional. Though it's a short boast, his way of showing off makes it really badass.
  • The Last Days of FOXHOUND: During a tense standoff, Ocelot takes a moment to inform everyone concerned that he could kill everyone in the room with one bullet.
  • Last Res0rt just had a good one.
    Slick: You see that? Nobody defies my orders twice! My blood runs through the cracked table! My family is why Arel's flags bear crimson hands! I have come for my freedom and nobody, mortal or otherwise, will stop me! I am Slick Mordecai Giovanni, Don of Third Jerusalem! All evidence to the contrary will be dead once I escape! And I will escape, because this... is my last resort!
  • Lightbringer ends its first chapter with its hero taking another look at his hideously corrupted city, and declaring his new mission (to himself, mostly) as he prepares to stop yet another crime from being committed.
    Lightbringer: My name is Carter Granholme. I live in Pharos City. Pharos City has been corrupted. Evil has taken hold of it. Criminals no longer fear conducting their business in the light. I will make them afraid of it again.
  • Lovesyck: Seasoned warrior Gaskar the Guts delivers one about both him and the legendary assassin Carver Stucco to a subordinate of his who insults Carver.
    Gaskar: Do you not know who you're talking to. Are you that dense? Do you know how many wars I've won, how many people I've killed? Carver Stucco is the finest killer I have ever known. Can you dig the implications here? Can you imagine how many killers I've known? Everything you've heard about her is true. She's cut down legions. I saw her do it. She's infiltrated Corner Prison and the Holy Royal Sanctum and every impregnable vault from Hubble Palace to Lovelyss Core. She could slice your tits off with a bowling ball and cut you so deep you wouldn't know whether to call for Gawd for come in your pants. She could shit darkness in your soul and make you dream a thousand years of hell in a single second. You can't even picture that shit. She deserted Hubble. She brought down the Inquisition. And she survived me.
  • In L's Empire, Dimentio from Super Paper Mario delivers this to his opponent right before getting beaten up off screen and then blasting them out of the building:
    I am Dimentio, master of dimensions, pleaser of crowds, blaster of intro users!
  • Of all people, Sylvester, self-confessed complete twit of The Mansion of E, gets one.
    • "I am more than that. I am the monster your mother told you about when the GBOLs got dim. I am human. I am the zarking EARL OF E."
  • Midnight's War: After being saved from a pair of vampire initiates, Monica West meets Sir Andre, and has the following exchange:
    Monica: How many brothers do you have?
    Andre: Eleven.
    Monica: Eleven? So with you there are only twelve. That's not very many! No wonder everyone thinks your order is a myth.
    Andre: Twelve is all we have. Twelve is all we need. Go with God, little sister.
  • In A Miracle of Science, Benjamin delivers this boast to a difficult police sergeant: "Sergeant, I've just been to the outer solar system and back to track down a mad scientist. I've been shot at with secret weapons, destroyed robots that could take down tanks, and fallen from orbit without benefit of a re-entry vehicle. I don't need your rudeness added to my troubles, okay?" (He later shortens that last incident to "I've plunged down from orbit on wings of fire".)
  • Misfile: One of Rumisiel's awesome moments is in this strip:
    Rumisiel: You want to see spirits? You want to look into the eyes of the beings that will watch over the end of days? I have seen the fall of empires and the murder of millions! I have shoved that data into files like so many numbers! ... I'm a frickin' angel, babe, and I got nothin' to lose.
  • Sidney Burns delivers one that is essentially his declaration of war in Mob Ties. While simple, when combined with the actions he is performing, it helps to establish his position as the number one badass in the Mob Ties universe.
    "If any of you mob assholes even think of hurting Mika... Just remember one thing..." * crushes a steel chair with one hand* "First... You'll have to go... Through Me." * delivers a One-Hit Kill*
    • And another, which basically states what Sid's ultimate goal is from that moment in the comic onward:
    For Mika, I will KILL A GOD.
  • Nahast: Lands of Strife: Xiang. "NOTHING moves a dwarf!"
  • Nobody Scores!: While crossing to an island where an illegal no-limits martial arts tournament is going down, Jane Doe gets a 'surely a beautiful lady like yourself isn't' question:
    Jane: Oh me? Psh.
    I mean, don't get it twisted, I'ma fuck you up.
    but I'm entering my friend here.
  • No Need for Bushido — Parodied:
    Yorikiro: Call me Yorikiro, Master of Martial arts and wielder of a secret knowledge of fighting style so mystical and great it has no name for all those who witness is perish before they can grasp the immense power before them!!!!
    Ina: How about I just call you Yori?
    Yorikiro: That'll work.
  • The Order of the Stick:
    • In "On the Origin of PCs", Vaarsuvius makes a boast when trying to convince Roy to let them join. All while casually snapping the table in half with magic, and all without the use of more than one exclamation point. Roy did successfully counter with Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness, though.
      Vaarsuvius: I am capable of manipulating matter and energy on a subatomic level by speaking. A mere flick of my finger is sufficient to alter the gravitational pull of the planet. I shelve physics texts under 'Fiction' in the library, I consider the laws of thermodynamics loose guidelines at best. In short, I am grasping the reins of the universe's carriage, and every morning I wake up, look to the heavens, and shout, 'Giddy up, boy!' You may never grasp the complexities of what I do, but at least have the common courtesy to feign something other than slack-jawed oblivion in my presence. I, sir, am a wizard, and I break more natural laws before breakfast than of which you are even aware.
    • In one of the early strips, Vaarsuvius presents a similar boast to a gang of goblin mooks. However, the boast itself knocks out the mooks before they can back it up with actual magic.
    • Vaarsuvius has a thing for Badass Boasting in general. In fact, this has cost them valuable time on more than one occasion.
    • But the best one was a simple observation about V's neighbors in the Monster Manual.
    • And there's also Belkar Bitterleaf's famous proclamation: "I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!"
    • Roy gets one of his own the first time he faces Xykon, but it doesn't quite take, because Xykon doesn't recognize his name or the death he's there to avenge.
    • In "A Brief Intermission", Popcorn taunts his foes, "We've been loved by moviegoers for over 50 years! Do you know the kind of power that has given us? We have become like unto tiny refreshing GODS!"
    • Kazumi Kato.
      Kazumi: I'm a goddamn baby-making, life-taking machine! Why should I care how many people I have to kill? I can just make more in my tummy!
    • Hinjo tries to make his own here but Redcloak knocks him back and delivers his own.
      Hinjo: I am the commander of the Sapphire Guard and I am here to make you pay for your crimes against my city! Prepare to—
      [Redcloak zaps Hinjo with a Disintegrate, knocking him out]
      Redcloak: Your city? Oh, I'm sorry, I thought somebody would have told you by now. See, this is MY city now, paladin! I figure you owe me one village plus 35 years of interest, so this is a good start!
    • Xykon has a nice habit of combining this with Hannibal Lecture and No-Holds-Barred Beatdown.
      To Dorukan in Start Of Darkness: Hey, you know what really gets under my skin? Proverbially, of course? A century of wizards looking down their damn noses at me. Energy Drain! I know people think I'm stupid. Because I'm not a wizard. Because I get bored easily. Because I have no interest in strategy or tactics or contingency planning. Energy Drain! But see, I've learned a lot over the years since I died. A lot more than I learned during my life. And now I see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter. Only two things matter: Force in as great a concentration as you can manage, and style. And in a pinch, style can slide. Energy Drain! In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics can succeed. For example, all I need to do is keep smacking you with Energy Drains, and soon you won't be able to cast any of your fancy spells at all. Energy Drain! Because yes, I am a sorcerer - and this magic is in my bones, not cribbed off of "Magic for Dummies." And I can keep casting the same friggin' spell at you until you roll over and die. You can have your finely-crafted watch - give me the sledgehammer to the face any day. ENERGY DRAIN!

      To Redcloak in Start Of Darkness: What I said there to Dorukan about overwhelming force? That's only part of Colonel Xykon's secret recipe of winning. It's not just about power, it's also about how far you're willing to debase yourself before feeling bad. And me? I ripped off my own living flesh so that I wouldn't have to admit weakness. You're strictly little league compared to that. That right there? That's the difference between bonafide true Evil and your whiny "evil, but for a good cause" crap. One gets to be the butch and one gets to be the bitch. Bitch.

      To invisible Vaarsuvius: You seem to have an interest in power, so let me educate you a little while I search for you. It's sort of this thing I like to do sometimes, especially for learned wizards such as yourself. Power, it isn't something that you put on or take off like a jacket. It's something you just ARE. If you can lose it by blowing two Will saves, you never really had any power in the first place, see what I'm saying? Hell, the idiot paladin understands better than you do, 'cause he got every one of those hit points I burned off of him the hard way: he earned them. 'Course now he's also earned an upgrade to Prisoner First Class for daring to touch my pretty little bauble. It's sort of the same as how we've already been treating him, only now we get serious about it. Anyhoo, where was I? Oh, right. Your soul shenanigans are real flashy, but they had one weakness: they were shackled to your lame mid-level ass! I used to think spells equaled power, too, back when I was alive. I've learned a lot since then. You know what does equal power? Power. Power equals power. Crazy, huh? But the type of power? Doesn't matter as much as you'd think. It turns out, everything is oddly balanced. Weird, but true. For example: ...Right now, power takes the form of a +8 racial bonus to Listen skill checks. [He grabs V by the throat] So, Uncle Xykon, what's the moral of the story? A big pile of spells isn't enough when the other guy has a big pile of spells AND the strength to crush your windpipe with his bare phalanges. And they died happily ever after. The End.
    • While defending the docks:
      Lien: My parents were fishermen. When I was a little girl, I stood right here and learned how to clean the fish that they caught. I'm telling you this so that you know that when I say that if you take one more step, I will gut you like the catch of the day — IT IS NOT HYPERBOLE!
    • The Ancient Black Dragon puts Vaarsuvius at the receiving end of one of these just as V has put the Dragon in a Force Cage:
    Black Dragon: Very good, an excellent choice. I am quite confined for about a day, while you are free to escape and replenish your 6th and 7th level spells. You are as skilled as my information led me to believe. I must admit, I too have a passion for the arcane arts... even moreso than others of my kind. I am curious however... what would happen if we turned the magic off? Anti-magic Field. *the Force Cage disintegrates and V tries to fly away, the Black Dragon flies over to V who falls to the ground when the antimagic field envelops them* Fascinating. It appears that you cease to be a mighty wizard and become a fragile pointy-eared monkey. While I? *the Black Dragon slams Vaarsuvius down into some rocks* I am still a dragon.
    • Malack knows the value of brevity.
      [after an HP to One]
      Nale: Unnnh... I'm still... alive.
      Malack: I'm not finished. Quickened Inflict Moderate Wounds.
    • While trekking through the frozen wastelands towards Kraagor's Gate, O-Chul and Lien pass the time by engaging in what they call a 'Paladin-Off', in which they basically compete to see who can come up with the better Paladin-themed boast based on their situation:
      Lien: How are you doing? Are you handling the cold OK?
      O-Chul: I am well. You?
      Lien: Sure, no problem. I've grown accustomed to the frigid depths of the ocean floor as I seek out the forces of Evil in the dark crevices in which they hide.
      O-Chul: I warm myself with my thoughts - both of the gentle warmth of good deeds done and delinquent hearts redeemed, as well as those of the eternal fires of the Lower Planes - where those unwilling to reconsider their life choices must surely find themselves should they stand against me.
      [...]
      Lien: I don't know what I was thinking, trying to beat you in a Paladin-Off.
      O-Chul: Through grim virtuous perseverance and the will of the Twelve Gods, I was able to triumph.
      Lien: OK, OK, you won! Take it down a notch.
    • After he gets the curse on him removed during an attack by the Thieves' Guild, Belkar proceeds to give one of these after ensuring that the Restraining Bolt placed on him is gone, allowing him to deliver a Curb-Stomp Battle.
      Belkar: Back me up and I'll cut a path through these guys! Wait, did I say "path"? I mean a five-lane blacktop highway with a two-lane service road — and I'm packing a fist full of tokens and a radar detector!
  • Subverted in Our Little Adventure when an Elven Ranger bounty hunter named Keppra Gemflower introduces herself this way to Umbria. Umbria wins initiative in that combat, immediately casts hold person and rushes over and kills the Elf via coup de grace.
  • Penny Arcade: "I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth."
    • "Will you face me? This tube goes by many names, some you are not worthy to hear. The Waking-Dragon, coiled, as spring dawns. Hawk's-Harvest, seizing prey in the tall summer grass. Autumn-Razor, the patient hunter. Famine-of-Winter, that kills the babe at its mother's empty breast. So, will you face me? I, who hold the very reins of the world?"
  • In this Prequel page, Gaius gets a particularly badass one.
    Gaius: I’ve been in the guard longer than you’ve been alive, breton. I’ve seen frenzied trolls burst forth from the ground, men get ripped to shreds by land-roving dreugh, zombies tear down entire villages with nothing but their teeth, and that’s all in the last two years. I can hit an imp with a bow at three hundred yards, kill a grizzly bear in hand-to-hand combat, and cut a man in half with one swing of a sword. ‘Trembling with fear’ isn’t in my vocabulary. I handle the fear, so you prissy magefolk never have to see it.
  • Questionable Content: The Sufficiently Advanced AI "Spookybot" uses one to show that there's no trickery or malice in their offer to let Emily into Bubbles' mind in hopes of retrieving lost memories.
    Faye: I swear to god, if you hurt her, I'll—
    Spookybot: If we hurt her? Child, if we wanted to hurt her, there would be nothing you could do.
  • In Rusty and Co., of the villainous variety:
    Calamitus: Do you think mundane matter could best my formidable necromantic powers? I have transcended the limits of mere flesh and blood... and I will shatter your bodies and dance upon your entrails!
  • Schlock Mercenary:
  • Sinfest: When Kate tries to confront Death about pursuing someone in her house, Death simply states "your realm is subject to my visit as any other". Kate may be a powerful witch, buth Death is Death.
  • Sister Claire gives us "I'm sorry to tell you that our name, Sisters of Mercy, is a bit misleading. God shows mercy. We don't."
  • In one Skin Horse strip, Unity, chained up by a secret cult of Notaries Public, claims to "eat steel like this for breakfast". In the next strip, she meets the Abbess, and Notary Paul warns the Abess she's trouble:
    Unity: Yeah, I eat little old ladies like you for breakfast!
    Paul: I thought you ate steel for breakfast.
    Unity: Oxygen tank.
  • Sluggy Freelance: "My name is Gunman Stan McKurt. And I shoot evil in the face."
    • On a more serious note:
    Chaz: Good evening, master. Whom shall we kill today?
    Torg: A god damned demon lord.
  • Stand Still, Stay Silent: Väinö, who is the sentinel mage for an area roughly equivalent to what three other sentinel mages are covering between them, claims that he doesn't need any reinforcements, only a replacement in about 30 years. He's 65 years old when he makes that claim, and the record of that claim is shown after his present-time 76-year-old self has warned the protagonists of the presence of extremely dangerous creatures in the nearby wilderness.
  • Tales of the Questor:
    • "I'm the freaking Questor of Freeman Downs! I have slogged through the Dire Swamps, killed a Gragum god-priest and three of his followers single-handed, and waded thru an army of shadow wights to kill a rat-king. I also happen to be the guy who just hospitalized half you big, bad gang, jackass. I have a badge, an arsenal, and a license to kill. The only reason you're still alive is that I didn't want to mess with the paperwork. So feel free to drop by any time, dillweed. I see you, or your friends within a hundred miles of my town and I'll gut you like a trout." What triggers this boast can be seen here. Subverted a couple of panels later; while the threat takes, the "badass" in question requires a Vomit Discretion Shot from the stress of it, which can be seen here.
    • He does it again! "You want to know who I am? I'll tell you who I am— I'm Quentyn, son of Quinn, the Questor of Freeman Downs. The Gnomes call me "Hunter of Shadows." The Gragum call me "Little God-Slayer." The gangs of the Tumbledowns call me Sir, if they know what's good for them. I am one of Oberon's Untouched — kissed by the White Stag and blessed by two ladies of the Seleighe Court. I have slain a Gragum priest-king and three of his followers singlehanded. I have waded through an army of shadow-wights to lay low a rat-king. I have pulled a house down around the ears of not one, but two gangs of thieves. I have slain a swamp kraken, and run before the Wild Hunt — and won. And before I leave this duchy I will add a dead dragon to that list. I am a Rac Cona Daimh, and I am nothing to be trifled with. Do you have any other questions, Your Grace?"
    • The spin-off, Quentyn Quinn, Space Ranger. also has one: when Commander Quinn tells some space pirates why some very nasty aliens listen to the Racconans.
  • In Tower of God, Jahad responds with these when asked who he is on the rare occasions when he shows himself. Of course, the most impressive part will always be saying that he is Jahad.
    "Let me ask you something. What am I to you people? I was the first one to climb the Tower. I was the greatest Fisherman in battle. And I pioneered a civilization of mutual understanding among the people of the Tower. But you probably know me best by a different word. The word... 'King'."
    • Or:
    Memory of young Jahad: "I am the one who will become the king. I am the one destined to rule the top of the tower. The first and greatest adventurer, with the red third eye on my forehead and a crimson cape wrapped around me. I am Jahad."
  • In a VG Cats strip in which they parody "The Word" section of The Colbert Report: "We didn't spend YEARS as social outcasts to watch you assholes fuck this up. We memorized the Ultra Combos. We wrote down pages of passwords. WE defeated the Robot Masters, knocked out Tyson, and SAVED THE FUCKING PRINCESS."
  • xkcd:
  • Zebra Girl: Sandra goes off on a rant about how she's in charge, only for it to be interrupted:
    Jack: Sandra... doesn't it worry you how I'm not worried?
    Sandra: No. Because you're an idiot.
    Jack: Sure. I'm also Plaid Jack Clarity, the Tartan Sorcerer. Walker in infernal fires, he of the intersecting lines. This is my friend Tomie. And you're a bad, bad demon.

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