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Awesome / The Rock Critic

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  • The lengthy "The Reason You Suck" Speech Crash delivers to Phil Labonte during his review of The Order Of Things. Followed by The Reveal that it's actually composed of lyrics from the subject of the next review, Sturm Und Drang.
  • His blunt and to the point rant about why he hates King 810's second album and his refusal to even play their music during his BEST/WORST ALBUMS OF 2016 list, in such visceral and callous tone, he makes it clear he hates not just the album, but the band, especially how David Gunn simply wants to be known for his Jerkass antics more than the music itself.
  • In his review of One Hot Minute, he namechecks the track "Shallow Be Thy Game" as one of his favorites on the album, and when he goes into why that is, he gives a scathing, no-holds-barred verbal smackdown to the Evangelical Christian church and the "born into sin" platitude. It is both deeply cathartic and deeply moving.
    • This line from that speech: "If Heaven is filled with assholes like you...I'd rather go to hell. I'll take my chances."
  • The entirety of his review of Mania by Fall Out Boy. Crash absolutely rips the band apart (Pete Wentz in particular) for shamelessly selling out and having absolutely nothing interesting to say.
    • Crash cutting to the chase at the end of said review:
    Crash: Fall Out Boy...please break up! Break up! Just break the fuck up already! It's embarrassing!
  • The entire final "The Reason You Suck" Speech towards Pitchfork after reading their infamously loathed and despised negative review of Lateralus and calling out the site for how much they alienate their audience with entitled and Holier Than Thou attitude towards the bands they hate and how they insult their audience, and especially when calling out reoccurring reviewer Brent Dicrescenzo's lack of research in his reviews and his borderline bitter and apathetic attitude towards anything and his pretentious writing when he could get to the damn point of the fucking review!.
  • Crash's big "The Reason You Suck" Speech on his Number One spot for the Worst Albums of 2019: Nostalgia Critic's The Wall. He rips apart how insulting, disregarding, and a big middle finger the album is to the source material, points out how the review and album were just Doug Walker intentionally missing the point of it simply because it hits closer to him, along with it being more of a platform for Doug to air out his grievances about the Channel Awesome drama. The fact that Crash labels it as 0/5 (his first zero in his channel) adds more impact to it.
    • The fact Crash also points out this factor is what prompted him to abandon "The Rock Critic" title and simply label his channel as "Crash Thompson".
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    • Lots of the criticism of Walker's "Wall" review said he came off as ignorant of The Wall, its history, and the meaning behind its lyrics. Crash took the opposite viewpoint; Doug understood album and film just fine, he just tried to bend its symbolism and visuals to his ends, which was to insult and denigrate those who would criticize Channel Awesome. And that is what really offended Crash.
  • For his 'Worst Albums of 2020' list, he explains that what pushed Five Finger Death Punch into the top spot was the anti-masker music video they put out in October. Crash tears into Zoltan's pathetic dog-whistle-laden 'explanation' and makes it clear that their macho posturing and hypocritical greed (trying to have it both ways by appealing to antimaskers while selling custom masks for $60) may have very well caused people to die during a massive pandemic.


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