Ass Shoves in live-action TV.
- Appears regularly on 1000 Ways to Die, usually with loads of squick.
- "Mercury in Uranus": The one about the hospital patient (who has been in the hospital numerous times for sticking objects up his rectum—a common sight in most hospitals) who killed himself when he shoved nine glass thermometers up his butt—all of which broke, gave him mercury poisoning, and cut up his large intestine.
- "Butt Plugged": Also, the recently released convict who, when confronted by an officer, shoves a can of his illegal pepper spray up his ass to keep from violating parole. The cop pushes him against the side of his truck... and bam! Pepper spray in the colon.
- "Eel Effects": The sushi school students who shove an eel up their drunk teacher's butt as payback for the abuse they struggled through during his lessons. More exactly, they pranked the drunk teacher via putting the eel in his pants; then the eel got into the guy's butt and began to bite its way in...
- "Mary Lou Rectum": A washed-up gymnast dismounted off a trampoline... and got a parallel bar support jammed between her vagina and rectum.
- "Fire In The Hole": A Neo-Nazi uses his dim-witted brother, who shoved a hand grenade up his butthole before getting arrested, in a jailbreak plot. The brother tries to poop it out, but it doesn't move. The Neo-Nazi tries to retrieve it by using a gloved hand up his rectum. He only succeeds in retrieving the pin and not only kills his brother, but also dies in the explosion.
- "Colon-Gross-Oppy": A tomboyish college student competes with her male roommates in gross-out contests. She tries to one-up them in a farting contest by sticking a can of whipped cream in her bum to produce gas. Unfortunately, she dies from massive hemorrhaging since the gas in the can causes internal necrosis and hemorraghing.
- "Critter in the S***ter aka Ferret in the Hole": A ferret legger (someone who tries to see how long he can hold ferrets in his pants) cheats by starving his ferrets to make them more calm, so they will not squirm or crawl out. This works until one of the poor ferrets goes up his bum and gnaws at his haemorrhoid, which bursts open, causing the man to bleed to death.
- "Hi-Jacked Off": A drug addict who carjacks drivers makes the brilliant decision to hijack a former boxer. The woman decks the carjacker in his face and his anus gets stuck on a tire nozzle, which inflates his intestines and blows his guts out.
- "Ten-Ass, Anyone?": Two McEnroe wannabes play a game of tennis. One of them, who sucks at tennis and has a bad temper, tries to kill the umpire with a broken tennis racket, only to fall over and get that racket shoved up his bum and through his perineum.
- "Water-Logged": In a really weird example, a college student jumps from a cliff into a lake and hits the water at an angle and speed that causes water to rush into his rectum, rupturing his large intestine. He then passes out from massive internal bleeding and pain and drowns.
- Justified in All Creatures Great and Small, since veterinarians sometimes must insert one arm into a cow's rectum to feel for problems with a calf or to guide something they're doing in the uterus.
- In one story, James is routinely taking a cow's temperature and the thermometer suddenly disappears inside her, so he has to get soaped up and go digging for it. This is why, before the advent of digital thermometers, one always tied a string to the non-business end of one's thermometer. Those who still use glass thermometers still do this.
- In a season 3 episode of Babylon 5, Sheridan has to remove his communicator before going into a room to negotiate it with a terrorist. He initially tries to hide it inside his shirt, so Garibaldi can listen in for clues, but Garibaldi points out (correctly, as it turns out), that the terrorist would think to look there. The solution they come up works a bit better, albeit with the drawback that they can hear what Sheridan had for lunch.
- And his touch-activated comlink beeps when he sits down, tipping off the terrorist.
- The second series has the "Baby-Eating Bishop of Bath and Wells" who belongs to a group of clergy who were Loan Sharks. If you didn't pay on time, out came (or perhaps in went) the red-hot poker.
- In Blackadder the Third, when Prince George describes what the Naughty Hellfire Club does to people who don't pay their dues:Prince George: They pull your breeches down and push a large radish right up your—
Blackadder: —yes! Yes! Yes! All right!... There's no need to hammer it home.
Prince George: As a matter of fact they do often have to—
- Quite often happens in Bottom, both in the TV show and the theatre/movie spin-offs. Items inserted include a pencil, a policeman's baton (complete with side-handle), a stick of dynamite and the entire contents of the next-door flat.
- In the first two episodes of Chris Ryan's Strike Back, John Porter takes a moment (before walking into a terrorist trap) to wrap a swiss army knife in cling-wrap and insert it into his ass. After being captured and verifying that the terrorists are holding the woman he's trying to rescue, he removes the knife and uses it to escape his cell.
- The Colbert Report did a segment where Stephen volunteered for a proctoscopy as part of a stealth Take That! to Glenn Beck.
- Mason from Dead Like Me once tried to smuggle drugs in a condom or balloon he stuck up his ass. Then a drug-sniffing dog caught him, and the security people did a cavity search (and didn't find the balloon, but did rip it; intoxication and something very loud and unpleasant in a bathroom stall ensued). Even worse—Mason was an undead Reaper. Meaning he technically overdosed to DEATH but still had to live through the feeling of overdosing to death.
- From the Sci-Fi Channel movie DeathlandsHomewardBound. The protagonists have been invited to dinner by the local Baron. As he's a mad despot that many would love to kill they're naturally searched by his Sec Men first.J.B. I can't believe they found every single one of my weapons!
Jak: Even the one you hide up your ass?
J.B. Shove it up your ass!
- Doctor Who: In "Bad Wolf", after being hit by the defabricator ray, Captain Jack produces a small foldable gun out of nowhere while completely naked.
- On ER, someone asked Carter what the strangest thing he'd ever removed from someone's rectum was. He thought for a moment and replied, "Bowling trophy."
- Everybody Hates Chris: Main character and Butt-Monkey Chris is pretending to be a Jerkass in order to impress his crush. That ends when he inadvertently yells at his own mother. There is a dramatic heartbeat during the Discretion Shot, followed by a scene in the hospital where the doctor mentions that, while it could be removed, the shoe was a goner. Insert a truly revealing X-ray for a Funny Moment.
- Game of Thrones:
- It's ambiguous whether Brienne's vindictive stabbing of a rapist in "Valar Morghulis" is this or Groin Attack.
- Ellaria threatens the immense Aero Hotah with one in "The House of Black and White."
- In "No One", a brigand playful shoves his finger into one of his partner's butt, making the victim jump back and curse him.
- Get a Life!: Chris Eliot attempted to befriend a group of toughs despite being warned against it by Brian Doyle-Murray. Chris tries to join the street gang by asking them to play jacks. Cut to Chris painfully returning from the encounter.Brian: Did they make you eat your jacks?
Chris: No. (pause) ...but they're inside me.
- An episode of Holby City involved a doctor shoving a flower into a patient's arse in revenge for his racism towards her.
- A patient has an MP3 player shoved up his rear in the episode "Occam's Razor".House: Is it the size? The shape? Or just the pounding bass line?
- House also won second place in a weekly "weirdest thing pulled out of an orifice" contest with a laser pointer. The winning item rhymed with "fucchini".
- What caused the majority of his problems in Season 3 was leaving a rectal thermometer inside Tritter... for two hours. To be honest, you could have stuck a rectal thermometer anywhere on Tritter since he was a complete ass. Worse than it sounds though, because Tritter was bent over when he did it, and if he were to move too much, it would shatter inside him.
- A patient has an MP3 player shoved up his rear in the episode "Occam's Razor".
- At the end of the installment of Joe Schmo 2note in which Eleanor "The Weeper" grows a spine and quits, she tells Austin that he can take his pearl necklace and half-hearted locket and shove them up his ass. This is re-played in the recap of the episode leading into the next episode, resulting in this...Derek: Did he? Find out now on Joe Schmo 2.
- Kamen Rider Decade
- In the Den-O arc, the Final Attack Ride for Den-O involves attaching the DenGasher to Yuusuke, who is in the form of the Kuuga Gouram, making an Epic Flail. There was a cut to Yuusuke grabbing his ass in surprise when the connection was made, and then, when Den-O starts swinging him around, he was howling in pain...
- The Den-O/Decade movie, which is directly related to the events above, features Momotaros stranded in the past. Several villagers mistake him for the oni they were fighting, and Momo winds up getting an arrow right on the, uh... yeah.
- In the Australian television show Lawrence Leung's Unbelievable, Lawrence received a colonoscopy For Science!! and in the name of interplanetary communications. It was only afterwards that someone told him he wouldn't see results for about two hundred years.
- In one episode of Malcolm in the Middle, Francis gets into an argument with his friends on whether his body can hold 100 marshmallows. Francis proceeds to eat a hundred to prove himself right . . . by 96, he's lying moaning on the floor. One of his friends points out: "We never said he had to eat them - they just have to be inside his body." At which point Francis grabs the last four and swallows them.
- Married... with Children did it too, naturally.
- An implied version occurs in "Assault and Batteries." Kelly, having been hit by a frisbee thrown by Bud, gets in a fight with him. Buck thinks there's "no way she can get that frisbee to fit there." Bud is heard screaming offscreen, and Buck thinks "Well, I'll be damned."
- In the Episode "The Agony and the Extra C," Jefferson ends up in the hospital. They look at the X-ray. There up in his lower colon is one of the boots Marcy was wearing in the previous scene. This was Marcy's reaction to seeing Jefferson's tattoo, which was screwed up to read "I Love Marty."
- In the last episode of the fourth series of Misfits, one of the sins to which Rudy confesses involves inserting a large Mars bar into his arse.
- In the Vegas special, Nathan teleported a casino chip up Marnie's vagina and later pulls a rabbit out of his ass using his Reality Warper powers.
- On MythBusters, one of the tests required a rectal thermometer and Adam Savage. Both he and the paramedic doing it seemed to take it well, with Adam quipping, "Oh Sanjay, will you still respect me tomorrow?"
- Defied in the NCIS episode "Chained". Tony refuses to let Abby plant a tracking device up his butt.
- The Nova episode "Making Stuff Colder", with host David Pogue having to wear a rectal thermometer to test out US Army extreme weather gear. The look on his face when the Army people tell him this is hilarious.
- Red Dwarf: In the episode Backwards, the crew accidentally discovers a parallel universe in which time runs backwards, to the effect that the natives speak backwards, walk backwards, wars are happy occasions on which millions of dead people come back to life, pub brawls end up cleaning up the pub ("Unrumble!"), food gets un-eaten, beer goes from your mouth back into the mug and from the mug back into the tab, and so on. Unfortunately, just before the Dwarfers leave, the Cat decides to take a crap in the bushes, and the other can't warn him in time... Cat appears from the bushes with a horrified expression and his hair standing on end and walks stiff-legged into the shuttlecraft, avoiding the others' eyes.Cat: Don't ask!!
- Then there was the time Lister tried to get his guitar strings back.Lister: I didn't realise I played the guitar that badly...
Rimmer: Didn't you get a clue the time I tried to insert it in you?
Lister: Yeah... it would have been easier if you'd used the neck end.
- Then there was the time Lister tried to get his guitar strings back.
- In Robot Wars, due to Matilda's design incorporating what is effectively a bare bottom, she has become victim to the robotic version of this on a few occasions, especially from Razer's pincer.
- On Sanctuary, Helen Magnus has an uncanny ability to produce a gun at any given moment. When asked where she produces these guns, actress Amanda Tapping suggests that Magnus pulls them from her "gun bum".
- The Saturday Night Live recurring sketch "Appalachian Emergency Room" always ended with Tyler who had something "accidentally" stuck up there, and his justifications for it.
- Dr. Cox is looking at an X-ray film print:Dr. Cox: Either this kid has a light bulb up his butt or his colon has a great idea.
- To say nothing of the Ass Box, which was made entirely of things taken out of that area.
- Dr. Cox is looking at an X-ray film print:
- The episode "The Fusilli Jerry" has Kramer expounding on the comedy inherent in the proctology profession.Kramer: Have you ever met a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. Plant yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never! It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way: "It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one."
- Later in that episode, sure enough, Frank Costanza falls onto Kramer's title pasta model, and it gets... lodged up there. Last line of the episode is him saying, "It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one."
- The episode "The Fusilli Jerry" has Kramer expounding on the comedy inherent in the proctology profession.
- Shameless (US)
- Sheila Jackson is revealed to have a pegging fetish and has a collection of some big huge dildos and toys for it.
- In the first episode of the third season, Frank wakes up in Mexico without any identification. He puts cocaine up his butt and smuggles it across the border in exchange for a fake ID. His experiences with Sheila's pegging fetish enables him to shove a large quantity up his rectum to the point that he was able to hide one little package of coke for himself. He even thanks Sheila for it.
- Starved has a character who uses enemas as a method of weight control. During his second enema he compares his technician, who he is dating, to a prostitute. Offended, she leaves him to overfill. Hilarity Ensues .
- Still Game has Creator/Craiglang's resident war veteran, Shug, describing some of his adventures as a communications officer with the Commandos as he fixes Jack & Victor's answering machine. Actually, a subversion.Shug: Ye see, ye would think that this (*holds up very small tape) wid be the smallest tape ye could get. Not so! Durin' the war we were issued wi' smaller ones tae take tae the Resistance—when ye were crossing borders ye' had tae secrete them aboot yer person. D'ye ken where I kept mine?
Victor: (Looking bored and smug) Let me guess Shug, up yer arse?
Shug: Naw Victor. That would be the first place they'd look. I tucked them intae my bell-end.
- An episode of Supernatural has Dean retrieve an object from the trunk of the Metallicar. Thanks to some general douchebaggery from The Trickster in this episode, Sam was the car. He comments about how uncomfortable it feels. Later:"Where did you get that Holy Oil?"
"You could say we pulled it outta Sam's ass."
- Series/Survivor: Richard Hatch smuggled a set of matches between his butt cheeks in All-Stars. Since then, it is required that contestants are strip-searched prior to filming.
- That '70s Show has a Running Gag where Eric's very grumpy and snarky father Red would threaten to shove his foot up people's asses whenever they pissed him off, but he never went through it during the show's run. In the Grand Finale Hyde calls him out on it, asking him if he's ever actually done that. Red then says that he did do it once back on Iwo Jima, but the details are too gruesome for him to say, which is pretty bad considering that Hyde is the only other guy on the show that Red sees as mature and grown up (not even Bob, the only other grown male on the show).
- Red varied the exact wording to make it topical. The page for Red Foreman on the show's dedicated wiki has an extensive list of foot-in-ass quotes.
- Top Gear: Jeremy Clarkson claimed to have been rectally violated by the gearstick of his truck in the Season 12 lorries challenge.James May: (voiceover) After the gear lever had been removed from Jeremy's bottom...
- In a skit on The Tracey Ullman Show, Tracy played the wife of a proctologist and sung the song "Goldfinger."
- An episode of Vanguard on Prison Contraband documented the things that prisoners snuck into prison and how they snuck them in. This included "keistering".
- In Veronica Mars, a man got drugged and had an Easter egg stuck up his ass. Though most of the other women on the show laughed at it, Veronica pointed out the Double Standard of their response.