Welcome back!
When we last saw our heroes in the 6th century, they were quickly running out of the energy to function while Starscream and the Decepticons made off with princess Lemony and demanded the Red Knight (RK) hand over his kindgom, lest he would never see his daughter again.
Starscream, Ramjet, Rumble, and Ravage keep Lemony hostage in Sir Wagon's castle. Sir Wagon chides them about how this was not necessary. Starscream decides he no longer takes orders from Wagon and that he is taking over his castle. Afterwards, he promptly starts coughing (???) and keels over. Rumble, also coughing, states that they need to find some energy soon.
A servant brings Screamy some gold which Screamy crushes into wire to build an electric dynamo to replenish his energy.
Which begs the question, don't Cybertronians run on Energon? Isn't the main plot of The Transformers to discover and mine pockets of Energon so Cybertron can keep existing and Megatron won't be able to gain anymore power? Energon is really important. They eat it, drink it, it runs through their "veins"!
Well, who cares. Screamy uses human slave labor to generate electricity with the dynamo and hogs it all for himself. Ah, there's the dickish Starscream I know and love!
Cut to Camelot (?) where Spike is beating himself up for letting Lemony get kidnapped and Warpath also feels guilty. Hoist needs Warpath's help for something and Warpath encourages Spike to go out on his own to try and rescue Lemony. He could have taken an army of others who are probably willing to help get the princess back, but Spike is an idiot, so I won't question his motives.
While that's going on, Starscream finally lets his subordinates get some of the energy. But, turns out they need other chemicals to burn to make the energy efficient. Rumble remarks that Screamy won't fetch the potassium nitrate they need. A bird poops on Screamy and I guess he gets a better idea.
Lemony is in prison being angry and bland when Wagon shows up. Lemony tackles him and yells at him for trusting the Decepticons. Wagon decides that she's right and they must stop them. But not before he complements her tits-I mean her eyes.
Outside, Spike is climbing up the tower of the castle. Lemony, Lemony! Let down your boobs! Seriously, they keep getting bigger every time the camera is on her!
Spike falls off the tower and into the water. He throws off his armor so her can swim to the surface. But the draw bridge is let down so Rumble can enter the castle, covered in bird poop and carrying a basket of more poop. I can only imagine what poor Rumble had to go through to get that much poop. Ramjet informs him that they have sulfur and charcoal and the draw bridge lets up, letting Spike breathe.
Inside, Starscream mixes up a batch of gun powder to use against the Autobots. I guess their weapons suddenly stopped working.
Spike climbs back up to save Lemony and Lemony tells him that she and Wagon are going to get married. Spike is sad and we cut to the next scene.
RK, Hoist, Warpath, and the Calvary go and storm Wagon's castle. Screamy and the rest fire gun powder over the castle walls and destroy the Calvary's siege tower. Rumble starts flinging bits of the castle at Warpath and Hoist is used as a bridge to cross the mote. Screamy orders Wagon to be flung into the mote and Spike fends the servant who tossed Wagon with a stool. Lemony knocks out the servant while RK's army climbs Hoist up over the castle walls. Warpath also climbs up Hoist and knocks him over.
Hey, where's Merlin? The episode's almost over. Wasn't he gonna do something?
Warpath fights Ramjet with a tree and his chest cannon. See, Ramjet? Warpath knows how to use his weapons. Now you try!
But, it's all in vain and Warpath in thrown over the wall, colliding with Hoist. Both are fading fast from lack of energy.
In the castle, Ravage attacks Spike. All hope is lost for Spike when OWL TO THE RESCUE! Ravage can't overcome his robo-cat instincts and chaises the owl.
There's Merlin! Took you long enough, guy. He oversees the damage to the Autobots and RK and Wagon tell him what's wrong with them. Merlin threatens to use his WIZARD MAYJIKS and Starscream says that it's no match for SCIENCE! He calls on...Killus? Keelhaus? Kielbasa? The God of the sky bring the Autobots LIFE!
He uses his Frankenstein-esque abilities to revive Warpath and Hoist. Their lazers still don't work for some reason, but they can transform. They ram in the castle walls and destroy Screamy's dynamo by hurling it at him with Rumble attached.
Wagon proposes to Lemony and everything looks okay. The Autobots decide to take the Decepticons back with them. though, their jobs would be a lot easier if they just left them to die.
Spike asks why Stonehenge is called the Dragon Mound. It just so happens that Merlin created it as a time traveling device and a dragon made it his home.
That's right! Merlin built Stonehenge as a time traveling machine for no fucking reason.
Uh huh.
The dragon was gone "visiting relatives" before, but now he's back. Merlin uses more WIZARD MAYJIKS to stop the dragon with dragon bane. And you'll never guess what dragon bane is made of! Gun power! Why? Say it with me!
WE
DON'T
KNOW!
The Autobots, Decepticons, and Spike go home and Megatron suddenly attacks!
Starscream runs up and happily tackles Megatron, exclaiming how happy he is to be back. It's actually pretty adorable and my inner Megs XSS shipper is screaming.
The Autobots and Spike escape, Megatron yells over sexual frustration, and the episode ends.
And that was A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court. How was it?
Well, it was certainly entertaining. I'm personally very fond of the Decepticons in it and it was so outlandish that it was enjoyable. But nothing made any friggin sense! That episode added absolutely nothing to the overall story and just feels like filler. The whole thing felt like bad fanfiction.
Also, did you notice something? KING ARTHUR IS NOWHERE TO BE SEEN. Also, the Decepticons weren't even on King Arthur's side! So,NO ONE was in King Athur's court! What a tease!
But, still if you have Netflix, watch this one for yourselves. It is really entertaining. It's also one Darewall tv, I believe.
I'm Cosmic Rust, and I'm honestly liveblogging because it's summer and I have nothing else to do than watch dumb 80's cartoons!
