And chapter two opens with another quote from somewhere else.
Now, first chapters quote was pretty clear what it meant, why it was included. This one... can't say not so much, because I can see any number of ways that it could apply. But that there are any number of things it could mean in relation to the story is what I'm getting at. It's one of those that odds are, everyone will have their own take on.
The story itself starts out with Rose Petal the Narrator addressing the reader, telling them that yes she knows she promised them the story about her Cutie Mark and never got to that part. Just relax, it's not like she was in much of a condition at that moment to notice a picture on her flank.
The actual story story gets back right where it left off. With Roseluck holding a crying, screaming, and terrified Rose Petal. Not even trying to calm her down, or talk to her, just letting the filly get all her fear and terror out, only talking once Rose Petal had started to calm down. After making sure her sister was okay Rose said she'd better go get something to take care of Rose Petal's knees.
Looking down as her sister heads out she sees blood on the floor, coming from her fairly badly scraped knees. Which, naturally, causes her to freak out again over how this could have happened. Roseluck, hearing it from the other room just attributes the banged knees to having happened when Rose Petal fell out of bed. Which is a decent theory for it. But one that Rose Petal quickly sees is not the case. Since the wounds are those you'd get from scraping your knee over rough ground, not hitting it on a smooth floor. To large to be just that. Now, might be a bit iffy that a filly could tell the difference, but no not really. It is a pretty easy thing to tell if you stop to think about it. Plus, given what we know of her it's likely Rose Petal has had more then her share of those types of injuries.
But, regardless of that, the ultimate proof that no, these weren't injuries from falling out of the bed but were in fact the wounds she received while in the wastes is the fact that there is blood on her sheets as well. Proving her knees got scraped before she fell out of bed. A fact she quickly tries to hide before Roseluck get's back in.
While she hides the blood, she can't hide the scared, terrified expression on her face, though Roseluck while trying to calm her down attributes it to just being scared of how much getting her knees treated will hurt. Making Rose Petal's already rather down thoughts worse since she had, for a moment, hoped that Roseluck might know something about the whole Wasteland thing, know how to help.
Okay, really liked this bit. Very quickly and clearly shows us and Rose Petal that no, this wasn't just a dream. That something real happened. Though still not sure exactly how it works out. But we do know that while she is in the Wastes, she is in very real danger. And that somehow, this really is happening to her. And does so very well IMO. Though, while this does prove that something more then just a dream happened, just how much Rose Petal seems to know is still a bit iffy for me. Knowing that it's the future she's seeing, that this will happen. Though right now can chalk this up to just her being worried, that it being what she is most afraid of, and so most sure will happen. Will get more into this topic later.
Second we have the Roseluck/Rose Petal interactions, which are just amazing. They really feel like close sisters that care for each other. But not in some generic fashion. We know Roseluck can get exasperated with her sister, annoyed. Same with Rose Petal. But at no point do they ever not feel like they truly care for each other. And this whole scene was just so well done from the perspective, showing how much the two care for each other, and yet Rose Petal still unable to tell her sister what had happened. But for reasons you can understand.
Even better, is that Roseluck isn't oblivious. Rose Petal makes it clear that her sister seemed to think something was odd about her scrapes too, but simply didn't want to press her on it. Waiting to see if Rose Petal wanted to talk about it, rather then trying to force the issue, giving her sister her space. All around just a really good scene.
Though, minor nitpick is the scene transition. It goes from Roseluck finishing up treating Rose Petal's knees, a little bit of internal thinking from Rose Petal, and then talking about breakfast. Now, thinking about it, yeah it's not a huge deal and is clear what more or less happened. but.. the transition between the two.. just rather clunky to me. Took me awhile to work out just what was going on, since there was nothing denoting a time skip or change of lactation really. Did she go back to bed? Was this happening in the morning when she was close to getting up anyway so they just went down to breakfast? Just.. minor annoyance.
The next morning at breakfast Roseluck continues to be an awesome big sis. Asking Rose Petal about last night, but without prying. Just the occasional question, making clear she's saying. "I'm here if you want to talk about it. But I'm not going to pry if you don't." Without actually saying it. Rose Petal feeling bad about not talking, but at the same time still not sure how to explain it. And also not wanting to worry her sister even more then she already is. After all, it would sound like she was going nuts. Or if she believed her, would mean that Rose Petal had been somewhere really really dangerous. Either way it would just cause Roseluck to worry, and there was nothing Rose Petal thought she could do about it. Then Roseluck drops this little bombshell.
What was she talking about? I whipped around, and shot my ever-perceptive gaze at the sight of my own flank.
Now, well done in pointing it out but, do have to question taking this long to do so. Why she didn't react sooner to this. Point it out to Rose Petal after tending to her knees or something. Why take this long? Getting a Cutie Mark is a big deal, so seeing your little sister finally got hers. Yeah just puzzled why she took so long to say something.
Anyway we jump to latter that day as she's on her way to school with Blueberry Milkshake, discussing her new flank picture. Which is a scattering of rose petals. So yup, once more a name perfectly matches a cutie mark. Though what that might mean for her special talent... I honestly have no clue, not even enough to make a guess or two.
Well given what you will likely be seeing in the Wastes, comparing it to something like that might be a bit harsh. But on the other hoof it IS school so.. can't blame you to much for comparing it to something you might soon find in a bleak, hellish, broken land of endless pain and despair.
Blue, unlike Roseluck, does try to pry, to get Rose Petal to open up about how she got her mark and what it means her special talent is. Rose being rather evasive about it, getting more and more frustrated at the questioning and not being able to answer them. Finally after shouting a bit louder then she wanted to she just says she doesn't know what it means because she was asleep when she got it. Which, yeah it's true enough and my only question is why it took her that long to use that as an excuse to drop the subject. Rather then put up with the prying that was clearly getting to her.
Granted that doesn't work either since Blue then goes off asking about any dreams she had. Rose's 'no' such an obvious lie due to how long it took her to say it and how she had to look away to do so that she keeps on pressing. Finally, Rose starts trying to work out some of the worries on her mind.
“What do you mean?”
“Us. Ponies. We control the Sun, the Moon, the weather. But are we, you know…good? In our hearts?”
She didn’t laugh at the question like I thought she would. She actually stopped to give it considerable thought. We both stared on down the road in silence, watching our fellow Ponyvilleans getting ready for their busy days.
“Yes.” She said. “I think so. At least when we want to be.”
And that right there, is one hell of a line. And perfectly sums up so much about FOE. And now, more then even with the first chapter I am really interested in the story, in seeing where it goes, how it explores the Wastes, it's take on things. Because that line, and what comes later from it, shows just how well the author understands one of the core concepts underlying the original story. And it's something I am really looking forward to seeing explored. But again more on that later.
She skips to later in the day, saying she felt like that all the time now, 'Thinky'. Which is a great way of putting it and something, that you can really understand what she means, but it's really hard to actually describe. So nice word choice there.
Cheerilee is giving them a lecture about the founding of Equestria while Rose barely pays attention, too caught up in her thoughts. As well as seeing the colt and the raiders every time she closes her eyes. Eventually realizing that no, it wasn't just memories or her imagination, but she was somehow seeing what they were really doing right now in the Wastes. Still somehow connected to that place.
Again really great job building up the mystery of just what the hay is going on with her. How she's doing this? Why? What are the rules? We're learning more and more, but still having so many questions. And i'm eager to see how some of these get answered.
After getting called out on not paying attention by the teacher we skip to recess. Rose playing jump rope with the other fillies.
Okay the lose control, the bruise, that is all perfectly understandable. But the tail? I really want to know what kind of Rube Goldberg level of a calamity chain could lead to THAT from tripping over a jump rope. And, again loving the little touches of levity. I hate when a story gets to dark, to depressing, to series for to long. It's nice to just get little touches like this. Bits of humor to off set the more serious stuff. Without going into being a farce or feeling forced.
And while looking around and chanting, she sees another vision of the colt cowering before her in fear. Though quickly realizes it's not a vision this time, but something really happening. One of the colts in her class was being backed into a corner by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Clearly being tormented by them in the "But we aren't actually doing anything to him" way everyone who's dealt with that type of bully knows.
Which gets her noticing how nopony is helping, how they are all trying hard not to see it, to just ignore it. All knowing what he's going through, and simply glad it's not them this time. Not being cruel, not trying to be mean, just.. afraid to speak up. it's not their problem.
The entire schoolyard was full of deaf ears and conveniently turned blind eyes, and that’s how the world is going to end – in front of deaf ears and blind eyes.
And this... this was where the chapter went from pretty damn good, to amazing for me. That revelation, delivered almsot perfectly. Just how well it does play into what went on in the War, and later on in the Wastes. And this aspect, looking at this one particular thing that is really at the core of so much of what was wrong with the world in, what is to her, the future. And also in the present. Seeing how, no, it wasn't some massive shift for the most part. That the capacity to do those things was always inside ponies. The Wastes just brings it out, makes it easier for them to ignore the goodness inside them. Though, that's in the average cases, extreme ones like the Raiders are something a lot more complicated.
Though one issue I would take with just that statement is that it was the cause of the War. While yes that issue is at the heart of the majority of what is wrong in the Wastes. The actual War itself was more complicated. Some of the actions taken during it, some of the extremes the Ministries went to, sure. But the War itself had more to it then just that.
Rose Petal goes on to explain more, realizing more and more about what this means, why it's true. How it always starts out. A bully coming to town, a new territory, starting small. Picking on one person, testing things out. Seeing how far they can push it, if anyone will step in. Growing bolder and bolder as they go, bigger, more nasty. And the worse they get, the less and less others want to get involved for fear of becoming the next target.
But doing good isn’t enough sometimes. Good though ponies may be, we are also afraid, and what good is goodness if you’re too chicken to use it when it’s needed the most?
"We are good when we want to be." Such a perfect way to sum up.. everything about how ponies lived in the Wastes. And another quote come to mind. "All that is required for evil to win. Is for good men to do nothing."
That was why Littlepip won. How she was able to end the suffering of the Wastes. Yes defeating The Goddess, stopping Redeye and the Enclave. All of those were important, all of those helped. But her true victory was in inspiring the ponies of the Wastes to once more WANT to be good. By being that good pony that wouldn't back down, wouldn't hide, and inspiring others to follow her. Rekindling that spark of hope and friendship and caring in ponies was her true victory. Because in the end it was that apathy, that fear of getting involved lest you become the next target, that was at the heart of what was wrong with the Wastes. This story sees that, recognizes that fact, and I am so SO eager to see where it goes with this.
But not to say that Rose Petal is being some all knowing font of endless wisdom only a foal could see. While her observation of this is spot on, she's still a foal, still doesn't quite see the complexities, see how while it is true, it isn't the end of the reasons, just the start.
Such as the above mentioned blaming the War on this attitude, and how that isn't quite the case. It contributed to it no doubt, but wasn't the only root cause of that. And this bit.
Who was I to judge?
See there is a point where NOT getting involved IS the smart thing. A point where there really IS nothing you can do, and it's better to stay out. Not ignore it, but bide your time, wait for a chance where you really can help. If there really is nothing you could possibly do, and trying will just result in things getting worse, then making a sacrifice like that is just senseless. Sometimes discretion really is the better part of valor.
And yet, she's not entirely wrong either, it is perfectly alright to feel that way. To regret not being able to do anything. While it isn't really right to blame yourself, it is natural. So while I do disagree with the idea, I fully understand why she feels that way and can't really fault her for it.
And this bit.
Think about that! A post-apocalyptic bucking wasteland was a place where you had more cause to expect help from a stranger than a playground in our own perfect little town. It wasn’t right.
See, again. This is her looking at it overly simplistically. It wasn't just a case of the colt in the Wastes 'expecting' help more then the one on the playground. But 'needing' it more. Wanting it more. Being more desperate for it. The one on the playground, yeah it was unpleasant, he wanted it to stop. But at the same time he knew he wasn't in any real danger. It was far from pleasant, but hardly life threatening. The one in the Wastes, not so much. He knew he was doomed without some kind of help, and so was more desperate, needing to look for it more. Not expecting it more, but simply more desperate for it.
And yet again, something that while I find the conclusion wrong, makes perfect sense for her to come to and feel that way about.
Now one big bit about this whole things that does strike me as odd. While it is quite amazing and grand in it's own right. It feels.. off coming from Rose Petal, at least now. Not all of it, just tiny parts. The observations are spot on, other then the points I pointed out. But the whole feeling of just how much she knows about the Wastes.. it feels like to much. Like she is being TO observant about what the place was like for just the little amount of time she spent there. And especially... how does she know about the War?
It raises so many possible questions about how she knows this stuff. Is it just narrative convenience? She just knows this? Possible, but I will give the story the benefit of the doubt that there is more to it then that. What she knows, thinks, none of it is things she outright shouldn't be able to know. But it does stretch things close to that point. Is this simply Rose Petal the narrator/writer filling in information that she knows now into gaps of what she didn't know then? That she didn't really think these things, in those words, like that back then, just something along those lines. And looking back Rose Petal is now filling it in, taking some dramatic license with the events? Is this related to how she got to the Wastes? How she already knew it was 190 years in, some kind of connection to the Wastelands on a subconscious level telling her these things? Something about why she can still see into it partially even here and awake? Or is she just that observant? Able to see that much detail, make those connections with just what she saw? Again possible. Nothing she knows is outright impossible for her to have figured out, just highly unlikely feeling. But that is a minor point and like I said, there are several perfectly good reason why she could do so, and eager to see what, if any, of them are right.
Her internal musing are interrupted by the realization that she had somehow positioned herself between Diamond Tiara and her latest victim and was screaming at her. And once more really love how this was done. I was expecting either her to end her monologue about the topic, and then be like "No, no more I'm not going to stand by." make a decision to help him. Or for her to wait to long, to still be paralyzed by that fear, by the realization, not able to intervene until it was already over. Then have that be some little bit of character development, where she vows to not stand by again, something like that. So doing it like this, her interfering without even thinking about it or realizing she was doing it, just acting on instinct took me by surprise, and really do like it.
She gives DT a rather epic and quite emotional reaming, all her fear, and anger, and guilt. All the emotions that had been roiling around inside her all day, as well as those she'd bottled up from dealing with DT before coming out. About how she's wished horrible things on Diamond Tiara, hoping she'd die, go away, have something bad happen to her. How much she hates herself for having thoughts like that, and DT for making her into the kind of pony. Just, an all a round really really great little rant that despite having so many layers, so much insight, still feels like a foal would give. Even the end.
Again, it makes perfect sense for a her to say something like this. She still doesn't quite grasp just how horrible things can be. It's just an idle thing, not really grasping just how horrible what she's saying is yet. And yet knowing DT's fate, once again, adds so much extra uncomfortableness to these bits.
“I’m not afraid of you any more.”
...
“P.S. You suck.” My little addendum.
And why should she be? That's the thing about bullies, once you see past their facade, once you learn to stand up to them, there really isn't much to be afraid of. And besides, she has far worse things to be afraid of now. Plus love that little P.S. at the end. She is still a foal after all.
To be fair to her, there really isn't a way to handle something like that well. It could be done, but it wouldn't be quite as epic and emotional and great if done calmly.
She finally looks around, realizing that the entire schoolyard was gathered around staring at her. With looks that she thought were fear. Turing around to see the colt she had defended crying, realizing she had scared him more then DT had. All that emotional high crashing down as she immediately regrets, not what she did, not coming to his defense, but doing so like that. Regrets going far enough to suddenly feel like a bully herself.
Again a really great point, done rather subtly and just so well. How in standing up for what's right, using force when needed to protect innocent ponies from bullies, you might be seen as just as bad as the bullies you stopped by ponies that just don't quite understand why you are doing what you did. Become the 'Villain of the Piece'. Doing what you know is right, doing it for the right reasons. But ones that others might not see, or might simply ignore. And yet she doesn't regret taking the actions. She knows it was right, and that is the important thing. She might wish she had handled it better, but not that she hadn't done anything.
She closes her eyes, a rather self-admittedly foalish attempt to make it all go away, having no idea what else to do at this point. Feeling utterly horrible about becoming more feared then Diamond Tiara, only to have those emotions, those fears instantly dashed by the response of the other foals. It wasn't fear, anger, hatred, any of the negative emotions she was so sure they felt towards her she was seeing. That was just her projecting her own fears outward, seeing what she feared to see, what she felt like she deserved. The entire schoolyard breaks out in a thunder of tiny hoof stomps as they all begin to cheer for her. The colt behind her, those hadn't been tears of fear, but of gratitude.
The whole thing overwhelms Rose Petal as she swept up in the exuberance of the foals, hoofbumping, laughing, just going along with their celebration without really being able to process it.
I think my body just resorted to laughter because it didn’t know what else to do with the stress. I was all out of tears.
And yes a very very good description of just how tings like that can happen, just being so emotionally drained, and yet still needing an outlet. Just such a wonderful job overall.
Thoughts- Well this one is kind of the opposite of the first chapter in one respect. First one I loved the first half, the set up. But the second half, the Wasteland bit.. it was good but not as good as the set up to me. Here it's the reverse. The first part, the set up for the confrontation was good, not TO amazing, but enjoyable, and I really loved the Rose/Rose sister dynamic. While the second half, the whole confrontation with Diamond Tiara. Rose Petal's realizations, that was all just spectacular. LOVED IT!
Now not to say it's perfect. Again the whole bit about just how much of the Wastes she already seemed to know. And the fact that there was a war at all. Those were a bit of a stretch, but not ones I couldn't see there being some reason for. Just one I hope gets explained. Maybe a few other minor nitpicks, but overall very good.
The main issue from last time, the it didn't feel like a foal writing this, isn't as prevalent in this one. Sure there were a few places, a couple choices in phrasing, some word choices, just a couple spots of overall feel that were still a bit iffy in that regards. But overall it does a much better job of this. And what issues there are are on Rose Petal the Narrator not quite feeling like a foal. Rose Petal the character. The one we are actually seeing do these things, really does feel very much like a well done kid character.
And once more the whole touching on "Ponies are good, when we want to be." How it was fear and apathy that led ponies to making the Wastes what they are, not being evil or cruel. And how bad standing up can buck you over. How doing what it takes to defeat a bully can leave you looking just as bad, despite that not being the case, and yet for Rose it worked out well. Really loved the set up and reversal there. Touching on the subject, and then having Rose actually not have to go through it. Yet.
The chapter sets up so many more possible themes for the story to explore, so many new paths to look at itself, and the Wastes from. Really can't wait to see what ones it chooses, how it handles them, and what comes from this set up. First chapter had me intrigued, this chapter got me hooked.
