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Live Blogs Let's Attempt to Watch: Gyro: Dark Chronicles
SnickerdoodleHamster2014-05-12 19:36:56

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Episode 2: Enter the Mystic Darkhog- Venomous

Several things happened when we last left off Gyro and his friends. Actually, nothing really happened besides Zero kidnapping Sabrina. To tell you the truth, nothing ever actually happens in these videos. Half of the first part alone was just the intro. So let's continue the madness for the sake of our own torture!

Episode Two out of Five!

Note: I will be skipping the video the 0:49 because I already reviewed the intro in the first part of this liveblog.

Possible Excited Title! Two-Part Episode Name! aside, Gyro realizes that Sabrina is gone. Assuming that Zero took Sabrina away, Gyro decides to go to his Supervillain Lair. Of course, he must power up first! I will warn you now: turn down the volume now!

A Transformation Sequence starts, with Ear Rape playing in the background. And the sequence itself? It's just another awful slideshow used as Filler. Also, thanks for making it obvious where you stole the idea from!

And his special ability is... Super-Speed, which makes him claim that he's faster than Sonic the Hedgehog. Yeah, right. Couldn't you have used that ability to defeat Zero in the first episode so I wouldn't have to watch this garbage anymore? If you used it in the first episode, then you could have not only killed Zero effortlessly, and we could get an instant Happy Ending! In fact, if Gyro is supposed to be this powerful, then how could Zero take him down like in episode 1 in the first place? Gyro's a Marty Stu, and therefore, the creator has no excuse to leave these massive PlotHoles here for no real reason!

Then Venomous, a dark hedgehog, enters. He is represented as a sprite from Sonic 3 & Knuckles, which makes no sense, because everyone else we have seen so far is a sprite from the Sonic Advance Trilogy. A little reminder here that it is not a good idea to mix Classic Sonic and Modern Sonic sprites unless you are doing something like Sonic Generations. The best idea for sprite animations focusing on one franchise like this one is to go with sprites from one game and stick with it (with the exception being if the sprites look good together). Anyway, Gyro asks what he's doing here, and Venomous claims that he should be asking the same thing. Gyro, being a complete moron, asks what he is doing here and confuses him for Zero. It's really sad when recolors can't even tell each other apart. Of course, Venomous does not understand what Gyro is ranting about one bit. Finally, a character I can relate to! And here's the best part:

Gyro: You can fool me with stupid fur color changes!

The catch? EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER in this video has "stupid fur color changes"! Gyro, you are a complete hypocrite!

Anyway, Gyro chooses to fight Venomous, and he decides to use "Chaos Spear". Cue the heavy metal music.

Wow, for being "faster than Sonic", he sure fails at dodging those ridiculously slow attacks! Gyro decides that he is not like Zero at all. Wouldn't it make more sense if he said anything else? Gyro then makes Venomous do an effortless Enemy Mine with him just by asking. God, this video makes no sense at all. Venomous then finally introduces himself. Cue more heavy metal music with a poorly edited picture of Venomous with a gun.

Will Gyro stop being a total moron? Will Zero be defeated? Will the editing get better? Find out next time!

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