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Live Blog Let's Attempt to Watch: Gyro: Dark Chronicles
SnickerdoodleHamster2014-05-12 19:36:21

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Episode 1: Start of The First Adventure

Hello guys, Snickerdoodle Hamster here. With the Paper Kirby series being on a Series Hiatus while AlexC0615 broke his arm playing soccer (remember to only use your feet unless you're the goalie, kids!), I will be liveblogging the gem on the So Bad, It's Horrible page for Fan Film!

In this case, I will be reviewing Gryo: Dark Chronicles, a Sonic the Hedgehog fan series created by GyroHedgie453. In a nutshell, the series stars a Copy Cat Sue named Gyro the Hedgehog, who's sister Sabrina is kidnapped by Zero (no, not that one), and he must get to his base to rescue her, meeting MORE CopyCatSues along the way. The entire thing is a MS Paint slideshow with stolen sprites and nonexistent backgrounds, the story is a huge Cliché Storm, Gyro himself is just a huge attention hog who useless during the entire story, as he makes his God-Mode Sue sidekicks do all of the work for him while he just says "I'm faster than Sonic!" and gets hurt. The only two villains are laughable, with more screen time being given to Gyro and his Marty Stu friends. And don't get me started on the Speakonia voices. I honestly find this impossible to take seriously.

Also, before you ask me, I know someone else already liveblogged this, but the more commentaries, the better! :)

Episode One out of Five!

The intro... is nothing but a slideshow of bunch of recolored Sonic sprites set to "Crawling" by Linkin Park. Wait, were "Dreamscape" by 009 Sound System, "Blow Me Away" by Breaking Benjamin, "Bodies" by Drowning Pool, "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven, "With A Spirit" by 009 Sound System, and "Through the Fire and Flames" by Dragonforce already taken? Anyway, the title card and intro take up no less than HALF of the video (thanks to Padding). What the heck is the point of this? This intro seems to serve no purpose but to waste our time watching a boring and poorly made title sequence! I swear, this now makes Paper Kirby look like Avatar or something!

Anyway, after the Title Sequence, we get Gyro and NOT!Rouge in front of a bland background talking to each other, with no explanation whatsoever. Can the person who made this video at least given a little bit of explanation to the characters, setting, plot, and use of Speakonia? Anyway, Gyro claims that the future has been threatened by "Zero", and that they must do whatever they can to stop him. Can we please not skip to the action and have a freaking exposition like what every story in the universe needs? Really, the only real stuff we know about this so far is that they are in The Future, and now they are going to destroy his base. By the way, why are they in The Future in the first place? Gyro then gets shot, saying "ayayayayayayayayayayayayayaya" while getting shot. I mean, who does that in real life?

(Chirping Crickets)

I knew you would say that!

Apparently, Zero (aka NOT!Shadow) was the one who shot Gyro, and he orders Ooze to take care of him. By the way, who laughs by saying "wahahahahahahaha"? Anyway, Ooze tackles both Sabrina and Gyro like if he was the strongest thing in the world. Did he just.. oh, never mind. Apparently, Gyro can't defeat him without Sabrina acting like a power amplifier. Why the heck could she be that? Is Sabrina made out of some form of magical urine? In a good story, this would be The Reveal which would occur much later in the story, which Zero would reveal in private. Here, not only is it stated in the very first part, but it was revealed right in front of the main protagonist. Yes, you heard me right. Cue the Fake-Out Fade-Out.

For some unexplained reason, Sabrina has now been captured, and her power has been locked away in a MS Paint chamber that just shows proof of yet another Lazy Artist. At least they gave us a short break for us to wonder what the heck is exactly happening in this video. But still, it feels like the only purpose of Sabrina in the story is to become our Damsel in Distress. The Irony here is that this is a show about Sonic the Hedgehog recolors, yet this is a lot more similar to the plot from Super Mario Bros.. After more exposition is spouted out, the video ends with this.

Zero: I won.

Wait, that was it? That is no way to end your video!

Will the person who made this be less stupid? Find out next time, even if you already know!


Nov 11th 2012 at 1:04:25 PM
This is pretty interesting. I can't wait to see more.
Apr 16th 2013 at 12:23:56 PM
the sad thing is that this guy wanted sega to make a game of this.