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SalFishFin2012-03-16 21:14:45

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Episode 1: What the Clusterf**k?

I have a bad track record with this kind of thing, but I just watched through three short anime series over spring break (one of them straight through today), so this time, I'm gonna see if I can keep the record going, cataloguing my thoughts on a brand new (to me) show as I go along. This is a stream-of consciousness type of review, and I'm essentially pausing the video at anything I want to make a comment on.

So, without further ado, watch as I enjoy and/or suffer through Majikoi Oh! Samurai Girls!

Episode 1: Come at Me, Bro Seriously!

We start in a forest. Two girls are running away from a helicopter. One has an eyepatch. Okay.

And immediately afterwards, we're dropped into the middle of what appears to be a mock war. Complete with wooden Katanas. And that helicopter is not what's being run away from (poor syntax notwithstanding); It's a news helicopter, where the reporter exposits about Kawakami academy, which fulfills its physical education requirement via martial arts classes. And apparently this mock war has to do with some dispute between/among the students; the kids with the worst grades are fighting the kids with the best.

The Blue (smart people) army includes an entire squadron of maids. Just thought I'd point that out.

It also looks like one particular girl in the dumb class follows the rule of Conservation of Ninjutsu, because she just sent like 20 others flying. (Note: This is a co-ed school. Yet it seems that guys only a girl can hit a girl. Because otherwise it's abuse or something. I don't really like this trope, but I have a skewed point of view when it comes to hitting girls. So meh.)

That sidebar besides, this is Kawakami Kazuko, who I am now imagining with a facial disfiguration of some sort, thanks to the last two syllables of her name.

And then, two seconds later, a pink-haired girl with a rapier (Seriously? In a Japanese High sch- oh, her name is Christiane Friedrich. Proceed.) literally blows away a squad of guys. So... magic martial arts, then?

She almost gets shanked in the back by another guy, who gets pegged in the ribs by a girl with a bow and arrow. This is Shiina Miyako, whose arrows apparently produce some kind of shockwave, so I was right about the magic, the students are just that tough, and/or this school is about to get sued out the ass.

Somewhere else, Mayuzumi Yukie is doing some sword beam nonsense.

Note that all the people I named so far are on the dumb side. I'm not sure what that says. Then again, the last show I watched where students were ranked in class by grade was Baka Test, and the dumb class only had 2.5 girls out of 30 students. *

So yeah, I'm kind of sort of glad that it's okay for girls to be stupid in this one.

Wow, that was a Massive Sidebar.

Anyway, now we cut to the head of the Red Team, Yamato, who proclaims that the girls from before are their trump cards, played early because the Blue team wouldn't expect that. And then a robot named Cookie hands him a soda.

... I'm only two and a half minutes into this thing.

Anyway, back to the two women from the beginning. They get jumped by Kawakami Momoyo, who is apparently the strongest fighter in the school. Also, I know that her name has something to do with peaches.

Apparently, Momo put Yamato in friendzone level 9000 a while back.

Also, Yamato is the Prime Minister.

Clearly, I should just stop asking questions at this point. There's still 20 minutes left.

More fighting, then back in the news helicopter where the rules are explained.

1: You have to capture and restrain (redundant much? I mean, if you've got him restrained, it means you've captured him already) the enemy leader 2: You have to use the school-provided weapons, which don't kill, but hurt like hell. *

3: "You may call anyone who is on campus to help." that is a direct quote. You all see the loophole in that, right? I don't have to say it? Cool.

Anyway Smarties outnumber Failures 9 to 5. Because they called in favors.

So anyway, on the war front, Failures are falling back, and the Smarties commander pursues, even after he's told that this is likely (and obviously) some sort of trap.

And then the Failures pull a 5-way ambush/pincer maneuver, with the retreaters turning around to make a sixth wave. Then a seventh group ambushes.

And we flashback to Yamato and Momo again, with that childhood marriage promise... thingy? that was alluded to the first time. Apparently, the Prime Minister thing was an inside joke between them, and Yamato was rejected because he'd said that he didn't want to be with her unless they were equals in intellect.

And we're back again. Apparently, those two ladies fro mthe beginning have taken out one of Red's main groups, and the maids are directly advancing on Red's base camp to get their commander.

And they plan to 'burn it down'.

No comment.

And then there's a really dark-skinned black girl. Whose face looks like Jynx.

Anyway, Yamato totally predicted that Blue would move to attack the base, so stationed Yukie there. Even though she was clearly on the field at the start of this thing.

Also, she attacks the maids and their outfits get damaged. Welp, you had to get your fanservice somehow, I guess. At least it's not some Ikki Tousen nonsense where people get their clothes punched off.

The head Maid calls for the archers to take her out... but Yukie found them all and took them out five minutes ago. And then more ninja maids show up to get blasted away by a shockwave.

Then the commander sets off some flares and we're told that one Blue squadron turned on the army.

And then we get some more war scenes, including a bunch of guys in red, popping out of the woodwork to yell 'Sneak Attack" as they take out an isolated Blue Squadron. Then, as some Blue archers Blot out the sun to make the squad flee, Miyako snipes them from an island in the middle of the river, a good half mile away. She's got a longbow, though, so the retaliatory strike can't reach her. And then she launches an explosive round at a group. I'm not sure how seriously to take this anymore.

Anyway, another blue squadron shows up... and then switches colors. Kazuko gets a video text of Yamato spanking a female Blue general. Nonchalantly. With boinging sounds. And it's on Youtube already.

Anyway, Blue's commander takes the fight to them, and he's about to get stomped when Momo shows up to wreck Red's day.

And then The Blue commander's sister jumps out of a helicopter, and she and Yukie take her on. Then there's more magic, Momo showing off fire and freezing abilities.

And [i]then[/i] a new challenger approaches: Matsunaga Tsubame. Yeah. Not questioning. Anyway, these three are keeping Momo busy, while Yamato makes a Suicide run at the Blue commander (The red commander is a little girl for some reason). Important thing to note: Cookie, the robot, is also a transformer. With a light saber.

Amd since Yamato is Momo's student, everyone wants a crack at him, so that thins the defenders for Red final charge. Which ends up as a man-to-man brawl between the Blue commander and... some guy. Didn't catch his name the first time. And Nameless guy wins. Also, Momo's Ki attacks or whatever also give her the power to blow up. Because.

And then Yamato, having finally proven his intelligence or whatever, asks Momo out again. She says... and I quote "I see you as a love interest. But if I had to date you, I'd rather you just stayed my student."


Anyway, the war is over and I'm wondering if Hulu fouled up and gave me the last episode first.

I'll find out tomorrow, as it's midnight right now and I'm actually tired.


Mar 17th 2012 at 5:59:58 AM
The Spank The Cutie bit sounds dreadful.

Ganbare! Keep on keeping on!
Mar 21st 2012 at 1:11:55 PM
The namless guy (named Cap) Is the leader of the Kazama family (The main cast) He is their fastest member (Faster then Anyone in the cast I might as well add his runing speed is stupidly good.) He also has a habit of solving problems off screen.

Also it's not really smarties vs Dummys Class S just has all the richest and most influental people in it.
Mar 22nd 2012 at 8:57:44 PM
I can completely understand the confusion if you haven't played the VN. If you have, though, the first episode is all Continuity Porn.