My names is Troper49. I’ve just recently made an account on TV Tropes, but I’ve always been a fellow troper. Anyway, one of the many interesting things on TV Tropes that I really enjoy is the “liveblogs”. One of the reasons I decided to make an account on this site was to one day make my own liveblog and it seems that day is today. Now, if you tropers do not know I am a big Pokemon fan. I loved the games. They were fun, simple, and very addicting, which is why I decided to make my first ever liveblog, a Pokemon liveblog. The game I decided to do my liveblog on will be on the 3rd Generation game remake of the 1st Generation classic, it’s Pokemon FireRed for Game Boy Advance. I hope you, enjoy…
OK, so the game begins with the classic introduction of Pokemon Professor Oak giving exposition on Pokemon, while calling out a Nidorina. You know about how some people use Pokemon as pets, while others use them to battle. OK, so Prof. Oak is done yapping and I need to choose my gender. I’m playing as a boy… because I have a dick. Now, I’m going to write down my name. I enter Red as my name… because I’m not going to reveal my real name on the internet. That could be very dangerous. Now, Red meets his rival since birth, Oak’s grandson…Green (No, I’m not going to give my rival a stupid name like “Douche” or “Dick” or “Asshole”). OK, now that we’re done with all the naming and gender-choosing, we can actually start the game.
So, Red is in his room with his bed, his TV and his NES brought to you by Nintendo. Red went downstairs where his mom was waiting for him. Red talks to his mother. Mother is getting ready for the day you’re leaving the house to go on your journey as a Pokemon trainer. Red leaves his house and walks through the fields of his hometown of Pallet Town… which only has two houses and a laboratory. There’s a fat guy in the town… that seems to have no place to go to. Every time, Red talks to him he keeps on saying “Technology is incredible!” Red decided to leave the crazy fat homeless man to his weird fantasies. Red decided to leave the town like an idiot and go into the tall grass, when… WTF! Oak came out of nowhere to warn Red that it’s unsafe to go into the tall grass until he gets his own Pokemon as protection. Oak leads Red to his laboratory to give Red his own starter Pokemon. Along with Red, Green is in the laboratory also wanting to get his starter Pokemon. Oak explains there is three possible Pokemon I can choose as my starter. Bulbasaur, a Grass Pokemon with blue skin and a large plant on his back, Squirtle, a Water Pokemon with a large turtle shell and a stupid looking tail, and Charmander, a Fire Pokemon with orange skin, a yellow belly, and a flame on his tail that is the creature’s only life support. It’s up to Red to decide which Pokemon will be his long and happy companion through this harsh world of unbelievably horrors.
OK, let’s see which Pokemon I’ll take. I guess I’ll choose Bulbasaur because I can use him to defeat the first two gym leaders. So, Bulbasaur is my starter. GREAT! Now, do I nickname him? Naw. OK, so now my douchebag of a rival, Green, is choosing the Pokemon that has THE TYPE ADVANDAGE! Green Oak, Ultimate Douchebag! OK, so Green received Charmander. I guess I’ll just leave this laboratory and I’m sure no battle is going to ensue. Oh, well, what you’ll know? Green decides he’s too impatient to go outside to battle. No, Green wants to battle me RIGHT NOW. Green Oak, Impatient Dick!
So this is the first ever Pokemon battle of the liveblog. It’s Bulbasaur vs. Charmander. Who’ll win? Oak decides to explain what a Pokemon battle is. Man, does Prof. Oak really love being Mr. Exposition, doesn’t he? OK, so Pokemon can fight until their health bar reaches “0”, then, they faint. When, a Pokemon defeats another Pokemon they gain experience… yeah, OK. NOW, LET’S FIGHT!!! So, Bulbasaur uses “Tackle” and… Oak does some more exposition by explaining by saying that “inflicting damage on the foe is the key to any battle.” O RLY! Anyway, Charmander uses Scratch. Now, Bulbasaur uses Tackle, again. Then, Charmander uses Scratch, again. Then, Bulbasaur uses Tackle and Charmander is in the Yellow Zone. Charmander uses Scratch and Bulbasaur’s still in the green. Bulbasaur uses Tackle and now, Charmander is in the Red Zone. Charmander uses Scratch and Bulbasaur is in the Yellow Zone. Bulbasaur uses one final Tackle and Charmander faints. Bulbasaur gained experience and reached to the next level. YEAH, I WON, BITCH! SUCK ON THAT, GREEN! So, I won and stole 80 Pokedollars from Green. Hooray! Oak gives some more exposition, but I don’t give a shit, anymore. So, Green leaves the laboratory acting like a sore loser and then, I leave the laboratory feeling like a champion.
So, I got my starter, I beat my rival and I’m ready to go on my Pokemon journey. So, now, I’m ready… to take my first step on the tall grass… I’M PUMPED! I stepped on the tall grass. Well, this is kind of lame. I take another step and… WTF!
TO BE CONTINUED…
Trainer Profile
Name: Red
Money: 3080 Pokedollars
Time: 0:30
Badges: None Yet
Current Pokemon Team
Bulbasaur
Type: Grass/Poison
Level: 6
Moves: Tackle, Growl
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