So, when we last left off our heroes, The Prince is Obviously Evil, Snow White is Too Dumb to Live, and Kotaro just realizes that the Prince is evil. Let’s watch this penultimate episode.
Okay, I still can’t get over that only Kotaro gets that it’s not the prince. He makes Tommy from the Green With Evil arc seem subtle. And we see him turn evil. So the Prince shows Snow White pretty much the fairy tale version of a tombstone with her name on it. And everyone goes What. As if they do not get the fucking message that he’s evil. I mean, come on! Tuxedo Mask, when he was evil, was not this obvious! Hell, I would at least have accepted Mewtwo saying "SNOT HIM!" (speaking of which, Mewtwo is psychic, why can't he just do a mental scan on the "prince" to see if it's really him?) And then we get a freeze frame of Maliss with his mouth open? What? No wait, it was an Evil Laugh. This convinces Snow White he is not the prince. THE EVIL LAUGH IS WHAT CONVINCES HER. No, it was not the tight griping on your arms, it wasn’t the “oooh, you’ll see!”, and it wasn’t the glowing eyes o’ doom. No. It was his evil laugh. Excuse me while I make a dent in the wall with my head.
{offscreen sounds of pounding followed by Psyga saying “ow”}
There we go. So the Prince turns to Maliss. Okay, that is better than a Brainwashed and Crazy Prince, I guess. Stay Puff asks Bowser what the plan is. So Ursula tells them that “Malice” is on a Roaring Rampage of Revenge and Maleficent says that they can’t let Pooh interfere. Aisling then tells them to be let go, or else her friends (I assume she refers to the Dwarfelles) will eat them (... what. Okay, in the original, she referred to the wolves, as in the wolves she commanded). Jafar gets too happy prematurely for his victory and Hades tells him to calm down in one of the most funniest ways possible. Then some guy comes in the middle and is promptly ignored. Oh, wait, that was the transition from the Hercules episode. Never mind. Bowser says its show time, but Maliss is whacked by Orko, causing this cloak that turns whomever the cloak falls on to stone to fall on one of his minions. Now Orko and Maliss have this epic duel. This is not saying much as Snow White just comes to Maliss, pounds on his chest, Maliss shoves her out of the way and Orko comes with his staff. He gets gravity slapped. Snow White pulls the cloak of the minion and concludes that it turns people to stone. Uh, yeah, I figured that out already. Any ways, she is led onto the stone pillar and Orko tries again to fight Maliss. And Maliss pwns him via staring into his eyes and feeding him some beamy death. He then explodes epically. Snow White calls Maliss out. “You Monster!!” Oh, and promptly bitch smacks him.
However, she is promptly tied up and it seems like Maliss will win. At this point I’d like to rant on how Pooh and his friends aren’t doing anything, but I think there is some reason why. Maybe they are tied up like Snow White. Though that doesn’t excuse Mewtwo, unless they have some psychic-power blocker thing. Oh wait, something smacks him. No, it’s not a rose, but the NEW Den-O belt! The Seven Dwarfelles then attack Maliss while giving Kotaro his belt. Ah yeah! As the old 90’s slogan goes... IT’S MORPHIN TIME!
Ash and Kotaro transform to fight Maliss along with the Dwarfelles, Thunderella frees Snow White, Maliss throws the cloak onto the Dwarfelles, turning them to stone. Except for Thunderella. Maliss uses the evil eye beams (Seems useful for anything) to levitate Snow White. Uh, Pooh, I think you are free. You and your friends might want to help Snow White out here... Bah, never mind, Thunderella finally uses her powers for something and zaps Maliss. Snow White uses this to turn Maliss into stone and NEW Den-O Rider Slashes the stone to oblivion.
Mewtwo: You lose again, Bowser.
WHAT? UH, DID YOU COUNT THE OTHER VILLAINS BOWSER RECRUITED? So, who is gonna save the heroes now, what with the Dwarfelles turned to stone? Oh, what’s this? Is that? No, it can’t be... All four Den-Os come and assist the heroes! AW YEAH! NOW! FROM BEGINNING TO END! THIS WILL BE A CLIMAX! LET’S GO LET’S GO LET’S GO!
Maleficent fires a beam at Mewtwo and he deflects it, sending it back to them. PWNED! That is the First Movie Mewtwo I know and love! Then Ash uses Pikachu to zap the Duke and Rider Stings Hades as well! Ryuutaros (Den-O’s gun form) shoots Duke with a Fully Charged Wild Shot! Brock then sends Onix to take on Hades... while Ash sends Totodile... wait, did I see this before? Yeah, this is totally the same fight in Pooh’s Adventures of 101 Dalmatians! Screw that! Let us have Kintaros (Den-O’s axe form) punch Hades into the river of souls. Wait, where the hell did the River of Souls come from? Sigh. Star Wars music plays as the fight continues. Aisling asks Mewtwo (again, her father) what to do in her fight against Duke. Uh, did you tango with Duke before? He hates light. She uses a flashlight on Duke. You know, when your weakness is someone flashing a light on you, you have to retire the villain business. Ash then sics Pikachu on Ursala, which is like using a bug zapper to fish. Urataros (Den-O’s rod form) attacks Ursula, but she gets away on Tigger’s request. Tigger, the hell? And now they face off against Jafar. And then Pooh decides to face Jafar alone... THIS IS ALSO IN POOH’S ADVENTURES OF 101 DALMATIANS! THE HELL! POOH! YOU HAVE ALLIES THAT CAN DEFEAT JAFAR! I DON’T THINK TAKING HIM ON YOUR OWN IS THE BEST THING TO DO! Okay, sure, it was a Crowning Moment Of Awesome in Pooh’s Adventures of 101 Dalmatians, but this is just repeating. He even uses the same clips and everything! I am sorry, stop the music. No, seriously, stop the Double Action music. Oh, and pretend the ice cream are lasers. It will help endure this and pretend this was an epic fight. Okay, New Den-O assists Pooh in the fight as well, and Mewtwo fights Maleficent, but still. It feels like déjà vu. You know what? I am done with this part. Just one more part. One more. Will I survive?
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