Spongebob gets saved by John Silver. At least an annoying Mary-Sue isn’t with him.
Everybody’s an impressionist! Deadpool talks like Ian McShane, Po talks like Ernie Sabella and Banzai talks like Nathan Lane! Okay, I like the editing when Po punches Scroop. But why does Scroop fly away? They’re not in space.
Shenzi finds herself being chased by the shadows, and we’re told Timon and Pumbaa is next. I thought Fanboy and Chum Chum was next. LIES, ALL LIES. Oh shit, Dr Facilier has her! But wait, Tiana’s also come to join the fight, she’ll...oh wait, that’s meant to be Shenzi as a human? Ah, Scroopfan’s taking the temptation scene from Princess and the Frog and replacing Tiana with Shenzi, because former villains always find themselves tempted back to the dark side. Just ask John Mitchell. I don’t know why Shenzi would want to be human and own a restaurant though. You’d think it would take no more than a mountain of raw meat to tempt her.
So now Facilier uses clips from the Lion King and the Timon and Pumbaa cartoon, all covered with trippy filters, to bring Shenzi back to the allegiance of evil. Maybe he wants her evil again because she did more when she was evil then she did when she was good. And wait...Mufasa was attacked by a Spongebob villain, and that villain was attacked by the hyenas? Wow, that stampede scene is a teeny bit less dramatic with Plankton saying a line from The Simpsons.
Spongebob and Mr Krabs are there at the Last Temptation of Shenzi, and Krabs even gives her a good scolding. And Bagheera’s there too! And Iago! Why weren’t they telling her not to listen to Facilier a little earlier? Shenzi refuses the deal, and gets turned back into a hyena, threatened by the witch doctor. With the Shell Louge Squad instantly forgiving her for her hand in murdering Mufasa, Batty grabs Facilier’s medallion and the El Dorado guys break it.
Okay, what purpose does that medallion serve here? In Princess and the Frog, it was to make the fat butler look like Naveen, but it hasn’t been used for anything like that here. It was seen when Cynder became evil and Lord Cobra was resurrected, so will breaking it reverse those spells? Well, we still get the awesome Facilier death scene, even if it does include the millionth instance of the girly scream.
And Garret and Kayley are in the castle, and the gryphon gets defeated...let’s just try and get this over with.
Blah blah blah. The penguins fight a giant fish, the good Digimon fight the evil Digimon for a long long LONG time, that croc gets scared away.
Ah, Kayley and Garret have arrived to save Master Shifu from Lord Cobra, the Ribena-coloured reptile being a right drama queen. Shenzi suddenly teleports in and knocks Cobra over. He can overpower a master of kung fu, but falls to a stupid mutt.
Dark Cynder is there too, and Spyro tries to snap her out of her nightmare, while Shenzi spies the stone where the sword was pulled out of and Cobra does another Oldman impression. Oh, say that speech from the end of The Dark Knight next! More gameplay footage later...what just happened? Seriously.
Oh, the sword was put in the stone like in the original movie and it heals everyone and kills Cobra. So...a minor villain from the Lion King saved the day? And as usual, Spongebob stood around doing shit. Is he part of some union? This series could be renamed ‘Shenzi and Friends’ and no-one would complain. She stopped the villain and had a character development scene, and all Spongebob did was mope and be wacky.
But the sword still didn’t heal Garret’s blindness and it didn’t heal Dark Cynder. She’s still evil and wants to ‘conguir’ Camelot. Oh good, more gameplay footage. Because playing video games would be more productive than watching this.
The evil dolphin retreats, and Po tends to Shifu. What follows is Kayley and Garret getting knighted – and not Shenzi or Spyro – and Mushu starting a dance number.
Now let’s put this baby to bed. Next bit is the last bit.
Now Sam wants to find Atlantis. I think Spongebob already found it, Sam. And Devon and Cornwall went to Hawaii apparently. A cured Cynder, guilty for her past misdeeds, wishes to join the Shell Louge Squad. No, dragonfly, you’re not the only one who thinks this is weird.
And ‘weird’ is the only word I can use to describe this. True, for a movie like Quest for Camelot, almost anything is an improvement, and the nostalgia junkie in me liked rewatching some of those scenes from other toon movies. And it’s good that he actually tried to change the original movie’s plot somewhat, unlike most Pooh’s Adventure videos. But it’s still a mess, some of the added stuff is pretty damn tedious and THOSE. FUCKING. MONTAGES.
It’s a trainnwreck, but an oddly arousing trainwreck. You can’t be mad at the creator, no matter how many songs he utterly destroyed. It’s amusing, and isn’t that all it wants to accomplish?
