Garfield smells a flower he's carrying. He wants to "flop on a flotilla of flavorful flowers", but there are bees buzzing around the flowers he finds. He has an idea, however: dress up in a bee costume and scare them off. It works, and he leaps into the flowers and lies down, remarking that that routine works every time. Then he notices "another" big bee with a giant stinger. He screams and runs off.
It's Odie, who chuckles at Garfield. "Works every time," indeed.
("Friends Are There")
"I just checked the TV listings: I'm the only thing on right now."
Garfield: Box o' Fun
Jon pulls up to his house and gets out with a pile of books in a box, evidently having had them in his lap since he got in the car. He enters his house and tells Garfield he's home, kicking the door closed. Garfield quips that he figured that out by the way he walked through the door. He takes the books out of the box and sets them on the table, telling Garfield that he needs quiet, and that he's studying for a test he'll be taking at night school. He's learning a language that's difficult for him. Garfield figures that it must be English. He takes his books (except one) and goes to study, telling Garfield not to make noise. Garfield seems mildly offended that he would have to be told.
He looks around, and gets into the box, assuming a driving position. He starts narrating as though it were a race. He pulls a pair of goggles on. One of those wavy dissolve things later, we're seeing him in his cardboard box, racing against actual race cars! He calls himself "Enzio Bodoni". He pulls ahead of some racers, and makes a turn. We see him press the invisible pedal. He weaves through the pack. The crowd is going wild! ...Actually, they look about as bored as a 2x4. Garfield repeats himself. The crowd goes wild... for approximately one second. Another turn. Enzio is in the lead, but he's getting thirsty. (I'm not into racing; I can imagine that term being used to refer to the car needing water or something, but I don't actually know for sure.) He makes a pit stop... at Vince's Burgers (Over 7 Sold!) to pick up a soda. At he drinks and lounges, he finds #34 gaining on him. Is Enzio worried? Uh, yes. His box car is out of control! It weaves all over the road! The finish line is coming up! The crowd is on their feet... well, okay, they're still sitting there.
Jon comes in... hey, I just noticed that the door is gone, and that doesn't look like a kitchen. Just a few more instances, and I'll be convinced: this house is built with Chaos Architecture. Maybe Architecture As The Plot Demands? Architectural Flexibility? Anyway, this disrupts Garfield's imagination. He hops out of the box and leans against it, whistling. Jon finds his book, leaves his cup behind, and warns Garfield to stay out of trouble.
Garfield decides that the cup makes a decent radio, and that the box is now a fighter jet. "Lasagna 1" checks in with Blue Leader. Once in flight, he asks what the in-flight movie is. (Maybe that Noir flick, Out of the Pasta? But I'm making things up.)
Outside, he looks down at the neighborhood. He does a barrel roll and buzzes the mailman, making him drop letters all over. Up in the sky again, he senses someone on his tail. He checks his actual tail, and discovers he was mistaken. But then he looks up and sees a squadron of enemy craft. He guns them down with his fingers, leaving the pilots to parachute. He just blows coolly on the ends of a finger, when he finds that his crate — well, box — is out of gas. Garfield quips about it being the last time he buys unleaded. He's going down... down! It looks like the end—
But Jon interrupts his "doom" by entering the room and asking if he hears Odie. He lets Odie in and asks Garfield not to cause any further interruptions. I don't know, I suppose he could've brought Jon his book, but does he have to stay alert all that time just for situations like Odie wanting in? Garfield is equally bewildered, when he notices Odie occupying the box. He pulls Odie out and gets in. Odie gets in again, and Garfield pushes him out. A few iterations of that, and Garfield finally allows him in.
This time, the box is a lifeboat. They're lost at sea. Odie just sees the living room. Garfield is weak with hunger, not having eaten in about 27... minutes. As such, he sees food everywhere he looks, including when he looks at Odie and sees a club sandwich. With a side of onion rings. He describes it as he approaches, and picks it up... and is licked! He wonders who's heard of putting tongue in a club sandwich. He's licked again, this time tipping the box over the edge of the table.
Jon comes in, asking what the racket is. (Sounded like a pair of cymbals to me.) Garfield and Odie run through with the box on their head. Jon decides that's enough and puts them out. He picks up the box, talking disdainfully of their play... then gets an idea. He puts it on his head and pretends to be Sir Jon of Camelot, facing the Black Knight. Garfield observes his play, then spies an empty garbage can. He and Odie get in, and pretend it's a rocket.
Orson's Farm: Quickie
Roy is playing paddleball when Lanolin sneaks up behind him and bleats loudly, causing him to jump away. He "BUKAWK"s in return, but Lanolin just bleats louder, making him jump away. She walks off, satisfied... until Roy gives an amplified "BUKAAAAAWWWWWWK!", sending her flying several yards in front of a recurring background. She doesn't think that's fair, but Roy, standing in front of a huge speaker system that was Behind the Black and therefore invisible to Lanolin, welcomes her to the 20th century.
Orson's Farm: Unidentified Flying Orson
Booker has a box with a bell on it, and a stick with a string. Sheldon asks what he's doing. Booker is setting a trap to catch a worm. The bait? A peanut. Sheldon doesn't think worms eat peanuts. Just then, the box falls, and the bell rings. Booker runs back and picks up the box. He sees an elephant foot and hears the trumpeting noise, because this is a cartoon. He figures this means Sheldon is right. (I don't think it exactly proves anything, but he may be right anyway.)
Orson wants the noise held down, as he's trying to read a book. (It must not be very engaging, because it's not manifesting around him, he doesn't seem to be acting the role of the hero, and he's aware of his surroundings.) Lanolin, alarmed, takes the book to see what it is: "Attack of the Awesome Space Zombies". She's not happy about his book choice. Orson says there's nothing wrong with reading sci-fi, but Lanolin points out that Orson believes everything he reads. Orson says he knows it's fiction. Sheldon points out that he does sometimes get carried away. Lanolin thinks he should be carried away.
She begins to sing a song, the gist of which is that she's fine with him reading, except that the results of his reading scare everybody. She yells the last three hyphenated words, sending him flying into the waller. Orson claims he never lets his imagination get carried away. (If it's always at the level he intends, does that make it scarier?) Lanolin marks the time, and says she'll be laughing at that statement for the next two-and-a-half hours or more. She proceeds to do so, and walks off.
Orson reiterates that he knows the difference, and gets back to where he was in the book, the point at which the Martians come up with their invasion plans: disguise themselves as cheese danish so no one would suspect them of carrying laser-phaser rays. Roy overhears, and takes action. He goes and gets a box of cheese danish. Orson walks along, reading the book. According to the story, the laser-phaser ray controls everyone it touches. He walks across a series of rocks that function as a bridge. Orson finds himself glad it's not true. Then he looks at the ground... and finds himself among four danishes. Wade happens by, and Orson asks him to identify them. Wade says they're cheese danish, and goes to take a bite out of one, but Orson stops him, saying it's a baby Martian. Roy comes along, talking in a monotone and walking funny. Orson deduces from this behavior that he's been laser-phasered, and that the Martians are invading. Wade and Orson run off to warn everyone. Once they're far enough away, Roy stops to laugh at them.
Sheldon, Booker, and Lanolin are sitting on hay or wood or... cheese... or something. Sheldon asks if Lanolin wasn't a little hard on Orson. Lanolin thinks maybe Sheldon is right... but then Wade passes, yelling about how Martians are invading, and they look like cheese danishes, and they've turned Roy into a space zombie, and they're going to take over the world. He runs off, leaving Booker to rethink Sheldon's statement. Lanolin decides to investigate.
Orson runs frantically around, speculating on other baked good disguises. Once he's far enough away, Roy peeks out from behind the grain silo and laughs at him before continuing with the next phase, starting with painting the silo.
Bo encounters Orson, and wants to know if he wants to split a cheese danish. Orson tells Bo it's a Martian. Wade runs up and reports prune danish by the chicken coop; Orson decides that those must be men from Jupiter, and they run off. Bo doesn't understand, and he's not going to try. He takes a bite, and declares the "Martian" a little stale.
Roy places a fin on the silo, completing its superficial transformation to a rocket, labeled "Mars Express". (Amazing what a little paint can do; four of the windows are gone!) Roy's plan is to trick Orson into opening the door, burying him in grain. He laughs, but notices they're coming, and puts on his laser-phaser act. He says that the spaceship to Mars is there. Orson tells Wade, even though Wade could presumably hear. Wade points out that it's where the grain silo used to be, but they don't make the connection. (Probably because four of the windows are hidden.) Roy says he hopes no one steals it, or they can't return and start the invasion. Wade figures that must be the answer.
Lanolin sees and overhears from behind the barn. She figures she should have known Roy was behind it. Roy points out the door. Because it looks exactly like a door, and could therefore easily be mistaken for a can of pears in syrup. But just as Orson works up the courage to do it, Lanolin steps up with some encouragement, because they sure can't count on Roy. Roy takes offense and forgets he's supposed to be laser-phasered. Lanolin points out that he's been captured, so he can't be the one to steal the spaceship. Roy challenges this, pushes Orson aside, and opens the door...
...half a second before remembering that it's actually a grain silo. "It wasn't supposed to work like this." He who digs a pit for another...
One dissolve later, Roy is shoveling grain as Orson, Lanolin, Wade, Booker, and Sheldon observe. Roy figures that, at the rate he's going, he'll be done in time for Christmas, although the year is uncertain. Orson decides he should stop reading those books, but Lanolin tells him he doesn't have to; just keep it clear what's real and what's not.
Booker spots a worm over by the barn, and pounces on it. He chomps it, then starts pulling on it and taunting it... until he pulls out a large brown creature with a body that looks like, well, a danish. The "worm" is attached where we might assume a nose would be, but hey, talk to the insects about sense organ placement. Booker realizes his mistake, pats it, calls it a "nice tail", releases it, and runs off. The creature shrugs, and walks back behind the barn.
A U.F.O. takes off. (The underside looks like a danish.) It reports to Phobos 1 that their disguise has failed, and that they could find no intelligent life on Earth. It returns home.
Garfield: Quickie
Garfield is hanging on the screen door, repeating his boredness. He wishes something would happen. Jon, who can't see him because it's funnier that way, opens the screen door all the way out, slamming him against the outside wall. He calls Garfield for lunch, and wonders where he went. Garfield now repeatedly says he's in pain. He "slides" down the door, tearing the screen as he goes.
Garfield: School Daze
Garfield is asleep, when Nermal comes in, chasing a bouncing ball of green yarn. He tries to wake up Garfield quietly, then decides shouting it would be more productive. Nermal announces himself as the world's cutest kitty cat. Garfield, attached to the ceiling by his claws, knows. Nermal wants Garfield to watch him juggle yarn with his back paws. Garfield walks over to the wall so he can climb down, remarking that a display of blatant cuteness was just what he needed. He also informs the viewers that it takes real sharp claws to do this (in other words, don't try it with fake sharp claws), and that they're professionals. Don't try it at home. He drags Nermal away from his play. Nermal wonders where they're going. Garfield isn't going anywhere, but he does intend to send Nermal to the United Arab Emirates. (Yes, the United Arab Emirates. That's where Abu Dhabi is. Just like Timbuktu is in Mali. What, you never looked that up? ;) ) He gets Odie to lick the stamps, and applies them. He sets the box on the front stoop. for the mailman will be there soon. Nermal finds it dark, and somehow wonders who turned out the lights.
Jon meets the mailman out by the street. He wonders why he doesn't bring the mail to the house, but then is reminded by the mailman's frown that Garfield is the reason, and thanks him. The mailman, I mean. Is thanked. By Jon. Anyway. Jon reads his mail on the way back up the walk to his house. One is an ad for the Stonewall Obedience School. He figures Garfield would never want to go there. Then he spies the package. He wonders what's inside, and when he opens it, Garfield hears him say, "Nermal?!?" Garfield predicts Jon's exact words, to a point:
"I don't believe it. How could you do it?" Nermal is kind of dazed from the experience. Jon asks if Garfield realizes how wrong it was to mail Nermal to Abu Dhabi. Garfield figures that Jon's right; Egypt's further. (I'd have to check a map, but it doesn't seem further...) Jon decides that this is enough to make up his mind: he's sending Garfield to that obedience school. This doesn't sound good to Garfield.
Despite its prison-like appearance, Garfield becomes optimistic. He thinks he could hang around the student union and check out the cheerleaders, but then he gets a look at his teacher, an imposing-looking-and-sounding woman, and briefly tries to convince her to take Jon instead. He hops out of Jon's arms and runs. She states that no cat has ever gotten away from her. She pushes a lever, a door slides down, and Garfield splats against it. She picks up Garfield by the scruff, and asks for six hours, and she'll have him purring like a kitten. Jon is having second thoughts. She says that with her method, cats learn to be afraid of humans. (Although I'd be more inclined to say that they learn how good they have it, and not to press things lest they have to return.) Garfield thinks it may be working. She repeats the "six hours" thing, and Jon okays it, albeit with reservation in his voice. Garfield is taken to the training area against his will.
The teacher asks if Garfield can do any tricks. Garfield dances as he produces a top hat, and pulls knotted colored scarves and a rabbit out of it. She tells him to cut that it, blowing them away. Now she wants him to play dead. He hams up a death scene. Next, rolling over. He does, but when she tells him to speak, he's asleep. She yells him awake. Grasping a light fixture, he decides that must be where Nermal got it.
On down time, Garfield learns from a fellow inmatestudent that the teacher was thrown out of the Marines for unnecessary roughness. Said teacher arrives, and has the student, Clyde, demonstrate the obstacle course. I wonder if he hates it? Let's listen...
The obstacle course starts with a run in the tires, a scramble over the wall, a trip through a metal tunnel, and a swing over the dog pit. Clyde doesn't let go of the rope, and loses momentum, so he slides down the rope into the pit. The teacher warns him not to hurt the dogs.
Yeah, judging by how frequently he said that he hates this, I'd say he does. And it's apparently a daily routine. (And the 'r' in 'routine' stands for — oh, never mind.) Anyway, Garfield runs off, asking an absent Jon how he could leave him there. He enters a room, and discovers that, in effect, she is running a prison.
She wants all the exits sealed because a cat is loose. (Who's helping her run it, anyway?)
Garfield sets to opening the cages.
She thinks to block the only door — after all, as far as she knows, only Garfield is loose — but a stampede of cats trips her and escapes.
Garfield rummages through a pile of clothes for "Save the Pets", and selects an outfit that'll let him disguise himself as a human boy. He pretends to be taking Clyde home, and it only given away by his tail sticking out the back. She realizes in time to pull the lever and seal the exit... to Garfield. Clyde is on the other side of the door. Clyde celebrates his freedom, but Garfield is left to deal with the teacher. He jumps out of the shirt just as she grabs it.
She chases him through the obstacle course, saying things that indicate that maybe her method doesn't work the way she thinks it does. Garfield, interestingly, takes the wall by going around it, while the teacher insists on going over. She also goes through the tunnel, because it's funny. I guess. Now she wants Garfield to get her out of there. Garfield doesn't suppose she's considered a low-cholesterol diet. She pushes, and he pulls on her head. She suddenly flies out, making the mistake of grabbing hold of the rope over the dog pit. She loses momentum, and is unable to regain it, so now she starts pleading with Garfield to save her, vowing never to yell at a cat again. After a moment of skepticism, he places a board over the pit for her to stand on. So the end result is, that human is afraid of cats, or at least that one. She runs off.
Jon comes in, and the teacher runs out. Jon starts to say something about all the cats he saw, when Garfield jumps into his arms, wanting quick passage home. Jon wonders what happened; Garfield thinks he graduated.
At home, Jon still doesn't understand what happened. Then he sees Garfield tying up a box with holes in it. He starts to accuse him of mailing Nermal, but Nermal walks by from Behind the Black. Jon apologizes, and decides to make it up to him with a snack. Garfield is, or pretends to be, disdainful of the idea of mailing Nermal to Abu Dhabi. The package moves, and barking comes from within. Garfield tells Odie to be quiet; he'll like the Yukon.
Next time: Episode 3!
