Capter 15 Invasion of the Glory Uh, oh...
This chapter begins with Linda's Television (yes, a TV in Hogwarts ) spontaneously turning on and showing the news channel, which presented the horrible image of tah new bigbad, a villainous broad named Glori. She wuz proclaimin her invincabiliti and sayin she's a helgod. Lidna got pissed, dere was only stan's hell!
Don't you worship Bad Santa? Then again, Stan Lee is more awesome, anyway.
Vampire, finally doing something other than just wait to be recaptured by Preppies, goes out to fight Glori and reaches her first. He shouts "You is a faker, a poser, a tripper!". Then He danubed at her and tried to paunch.
But no luck. Glori (I'll keep that spelling for consistency's sake) throws Vampire through a window and he kept going through a wall. Glori then appears in front of him and says "Good thing you can heal, right, Vampyr, well...SANITY DRAIN!" She mentally raeped Vampiyr, who, afterwurd, sed, "Pretty ponies dancing across the sky..."
He wuz lost his mind! Well, duh, Captain Obvious.
Glori chuckled, "I cannot see how Vlodimorte culd loose to such fleas and ticks, all they need is a good squashing." And then, like the Villain Sue that she is, she then proceeds to do so to Vampire's leg bones and he scremed, "You hell bitch, you broked my legs!"
But he had lost his mind, so all he sed was, "Good day fine sirs, I am an Englishman, yesh."
Technically, he really is an Englishman. Stop sterotyping you Parodist Badfic Writer!
Dracola shoed up and he did Aveda Kadevra. But Glori stopped him by walkin over and impalin her hand in his chest. Dracola scremed, "You bitch, you impaled me!" He was in a lot of pain. But as she didn't use Crosses and Steak, we're sadly still stuck with him.
Gloria sighed, "Geez, is bitch the fav word of you goffik people? Huh, a Take That!? A surprisingly coherent Take That!? Anyway, SANITY DRAIN!" And Dracola was Mind Raped.
He sed, "I is French, a French cheese eating surrender monkey, I surrender." Damnit! You were the most Badass character in this story by a longshot!
Glory laffed and then let Lidna take hur frends home. And then Linda knew: Vlodimorte was out of town cuz he was plannin his next evil plan. So he went 2 anoter villan and asked them to be bigbad for him whil he was gon. What An Idiot. Getting a villian who's more competent than him as a stand-in will only lead to a world of hurt.
Also, isn't Dumbledore's Alzheimer's the Big Bad? What happened to him, did he take a vacation too? Anyway, let's continue.
Linda returns to her dorm and sees that B'Loody Mary wuz also Mind Raeped!
"karma" Linda saided. For once, I agree.
Dumblider begged hur, cuz his alzheimers wuz out of town 2 I Knew It!!* , "Pleaz make Gloria gone, she iz WORSE than even HITLER!" ''Nothing'' is worse than Hitler!
Linda tells Dumbledore to heal her friends. Here's hoping that the Master of Preppiness does not heal them!
Menwhile, Vandersloot decided to join Glori. You're welome to each other!
((OOC: *Turns out, I did guess. I didn't find that line until my second readthrough.))
