Before we begin, I'd like to start off with this episode's mailbag, where I'll respond to questions from you, the reader! Or, failing that, take portions of your comments out of context and answer questions you didn't ask. I'll start off with a comment from Jhiday:
Poor Junior Conductor Man. It looks like Death's been following him around since the beginning of the series! The only reason he's managed to make it this far is because Death got distracted by that soon-to-be retiree — FDR recruited ol' Death on commission to get rid of all the old people before signing Social Security, so that he could keep the budget deficit low. And to think we're worrying about merely human death panels these days.
Next up, hollow49 writes in, asking:
The golden ratio bought the title sponsorship slot last episode. Free liveblog hosting doesn't pay for itself, you know. Lucasfilm was our original sponsor, but they pulled out when I told them that there weren't any plans for a Baccano! Super-Deluxe Limited Director's Laserdisc High Definition Blu-ray Edition Remaster.
Finally, Noaqiyeum inquires:
For information on Austrian cults, I recommend that you turn to Schwarzenegger, Arnold, muscles of, disciples of in your nearest encyclopedia.
Greetings from 1932! I don't know where you were then, but I was in Finland busy celebrating the end of Prohibition there. There is nothing quite like a good bottle of salmiakkikossu, which was a problem because that wasn't invented until the nineties. I had to settle for some beer.
Meanwhile, in New York, Eve Genoard stands at the ocean docks watching as cranes scoop wreckage out of the water. Butler Benjamin suggests that she get away from the salty atmosphere, because it's not good for her body, but she declines. Our magical omnipotent thought reader helpfully tells us that Eve is thinking of her older brother Dallas as the camera looks at her trembling eyes. Speaking of the camera, I guess the salt got to it just now, too, because we cut to the episode title: "Randy and Pezzo Pecho are Busy With the Preparations for the Party."
Wait, it's 1931 again? Can I not even enjoy a good swig of sahti without getting time-traveled back to some period where it's illegal? *sigh*
Anyway, we take a peek inside the office of the Daily Days, New York's foremost information dealer. Or at least the foremost information dealer that is featured in this show. A couple of tough-looking folks walk in the door, to be immediately greeted by Nicholas from the English desk. For el desk en español, press 2 por favor. Ru guo zhao zhong wen bu, qing an 3. Nicholas, who one quickly notices seems to have the saturation dial knocked up a few notches on his color calibration settings, immediately deduces that the pair are subordinates of the Runorata family, who we last met trying to get rid of Dallas Genoard. Oh, what a coincidence! They're looking for information on him. Nicholas helpfully goes into Wikipedia mode:
The thugs, however, are less than happy about having to deal with Jimmy Wales' smug fundraising face; they just want to know where Dallas is, not get infodumped with an article that'll get deleted next week for being non-notable. Nicholas retorts that this information will cost them $500, and that the Runorata fellows will have to give up some dirt of their own — namely, why they're bothering to look for Mr. Genoard in the first place. The Daily Days seems to adhere to the little-heard second half of the "information wants to be free" aphorism: "information also wants to be expensive". Really expensive. I bet Nicholas put DRM on that geolocation data, too.
The thugs aren't happy about being charged for their information — I suppose they're staunch advocates for transparency, especially in the form of bullet holes — but before they can reach for their guns, the entire news office has them at the wrong end of about thirty barrels. Those are nice guns, by the way, but they seem like an unnecessary investment; someone ought to teach them about using their typewriters as weapons.
"So, why again are you looking for Dallas Genoard?"
And the ka-ching of a cash register sounds as...
1930. Does this series take place before the birth of Christ or something? That would explain why the year numbers seem to be going entirely the wrong way.
A short scene unfolds in which a Runorata gang man mouths off to the wrong people, who subsequently proceed to beat him while mocking his membership. With the Runoratas, I mean. What did you think I meant by "membership"? Luck Gandor strolls in and tells both parties that he doesn't want to hear the Runorata name. He orders everyone off his turf, which the beaters grudgingly accede to even though they don't seem to know who the Gandors are. Well, guys, the feeling's mutual, 'cause Luck has no idea who you are, either! Ha!
1931.
Oh, come on, people. I'm going to get time-sick.
Aboard the Flying Pussyfoot, Lua Klein is having a dance with Ladd Russo, who seems to be too excited to sleep. Seems like someone finally wrote Lua's speech synthesis module, because she asks why Ladd isn't joining in on the ambiguous "fun" he's talking about. Apparently, he lost when drawing straws. Poor guy. He just wants to kill everyone, and then kill Lua thoroughly. Lua, for her part, doesn't seem to mind if Ladd kills her right then and there, but Ladd says that that'll have to wait until everyone else is dead. Get a room, you two. Oh, wait, you do have a room. That has just been barged into.
"Vicky is in a good mood."
I have no idea what that means, but Ladd has just become an atheist, because now he believes that this Vicky guy has killed God. Or maybe that makes him a necrotheist? I'm not a philosopher, and this conversation makes no sense. Lua suggests just going to see what's happening, which earns her an awkwardly uncomfortable-looking head pat.
◊ Ladd then heads out to do this check-up thing, where he runs into Jacuzzi. So we're back in last episode. Great. Except this time, our magical omnipotent thought reader kicks in and tells us that Ladd's seen a poster with Jacuzzi's face on it, offering a $5,000 reward for him dead or alive. Ladd asks Lua and the moment-ruiner to head after Jacuzzi and grab him from the conductor's room, while he himself walks toward the front of the train.
"Things are getting interesting..." Ladd remarks to himself. "If I don't release myself soon, I'll explode!"
Yeah, well, you're the one who wasted all of your time together with her dancing.
Oh, thank God, a scene jump without a year card.
We're finally introduced to Randy and Pecho, who are playing around with some fire in order to come up with party tricks for tonight's gathering. Randy knows what he's doing, but Pecho does not. Long story short, they accidentally start a warehouse fire and run away in panic. What they don't know is that it's a beef warehouse, and some of us are going to be having some nice flame-broiled steak when we get back later. Mmmmmm.
Meanwhile, a bearded mad scientist type kills a mouse. Wow, PETA's going to be all over this guy — he just smashed the poor thing with a hammer! Look, I don't care if the mouse is reforming its body and coming back to life — that was cruel! Scientist Man, meanwhile, is declaring to a certain Master Quates in the sky that his work is finally done. Good for you, guy. I'm just going to make sure your research funding gets pulled.
Suddenly, the ceiling caves in, rafters ablaze. Scientist Man tries to rescue a case full of bottles, but it's too heavy for him to lift, so he grabs two bottles, stuffs them in an icebox, and makes for the door as his lab crumbles.
I told you, man, you don't mess with PETA.
And with the mid-episode eyecatch, I'll be wrapping up this chapter of exciting adventures. Tune in next time, when we find out what you've all been dying to know since ten seconds ago: What Happened to the Mouse?!
Thanks for reading. Leave Mickey some cheese in the comments.
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