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Cliche2011-02-13 09:49:00

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A Strange Intermission

It's showtime! Backstage, Madison has just arrived bearing costumes for the two stars, and Sakura's prince costume makes quite an impression. The hat looks a little odd on her, though. From the front, none of her hair is covered. But animation quibbles aside, Ms. Mckenzie gives her usual ambiguous prescient warning before the show. Just then, Li comes bursting out in pink dress and blond wig, believing it an effort by Madison to humiliate him as much as possible. But of course.

Madison has also volunteered for the narration, and so the curtains open to...a gay monarchy? Yep, Zachary's the queen. Surprised you're so surprised, Tori. Chelsea, Rita, and Nikki come as the three fairies bearing gifts, but on cue, Merriweather Nikki is interrupted by a spotlight and stock *gasp!* sound effect. It's Maleficent! Played by none other than, who else, Meilin. Relishing the role (even though predictably, she didn't want to do it at first), she announces her gift: that on her sixteenth birthday, the princess will prick her finger on a spinning wheel needle, AND SHE WILL DIE! AHAHAHAHA! Nicole Oliver, you spoil us. Guess Ms. Mckenzie was really impressed by that Evil Laugh she made over a marathon race.

But Zachary's hilariously overdone grieving isn't to be missed either. Nikki delivers the Nerf spell turning it into a deep sleep as the act closes. Li's "ready" to debut on the second act, but as an aside, I must say: isn't it remarkably stupid for the king and queen to have all spinning wheels burned in the tale? There goes your industry.

Li, already incredibly embarrassed by the whole thing, drops his falsetto to just quickly get his lines over with. "That's lousy acting." (so tempted to make a quip about Li's second voice actor) Unenthusiastically, he approaches the spinning wheel, but his response is genuine as he trips and crashes into it. And now it's Sakura's turn to take the stage!

She delivers her lines with machismo as she meets up with her fairy friends. And here comes the showdown with Maleficent Meilin, where Sakura somersaults over one of her minions. Wow, she's really into this. She delivers the finishing blow as Meilin yells, "You wretched prince! I'm DYING!" Why do theatrical characters always have to announce their deaths?

Sakura is prepared to deliver the kiss to Li when she notices Ms. Mckenzie backstage. Li pushes her away as she leans down, but not out of embarrassment. Darkness devours the entire environment as Li warns Sakura of the impending Clow Card. Run, run as fast as she can, only the endless void awaits. At a more inexperienced time, she would have broken down in deep despair. Not this time. "Okay, Sakura, use your head. You haven't been afraid of the dark since you were four years old."

Her summoning incantation proves ineffective, so she tries the simpler "Key of Clow, I need your help. RELEASE!" That doesn't work either. So she decides to concentrate, eventually identifying it as The Dark card. But that's merely the first step. She realizes then that she can still see herself (in full colour, to boot), which means she must still be in the light. The darkness is ready to engulf her, starting with her legs. Scared at first, she then enters a serene state of calmness where she is convinced all she needs to do is to trust herself. That's it!

The royal good witch figure of The Light card reveals itself in front of Sakura, sounding just like the Sorceress from the movie. She reveals that she was always inside Sakura from when the seal broke, and that her courage set her free. A simple question is presented: "What can brighten the night sky and dispel the darkness?" Upon Sakura answering "Light!", The Dark reveals itself, both ready to be sealed and to serve. Sakura seals the Heterosexual Life-Partners together as Light announces the impending Final Judgment from Yue. It turns out he's been right beside her all along.

The spotlight shines on Sakura as she celebrates over the performance no one saw. (applause!) Her recent capture has awakened Kero's aura, as he knows he'll meet Yue soon. Of course, Ms. Mckenzie replies in turn.

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