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Live Blog Let's MST: Bad song lyrics and other stuff (but mostly bad songs)
mst3kluv2011-02-08 21:20:31

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Sponsor, by Teairra Mari feat. Gucci Mane and Soulja Boy, represents the shallowness and materialism of today's pop music quite well.


(feat.Gucci Mane & Soulja Boy)

ALL: NOOOO!! NOT THESE TWO AGAIN!!

I know you see the colors in the colors in my chain

Shorty see the diamonds in the diamonds on my ring

TOM: So this guy has colours in colours and diamonds in diamonds? We haven’t made it to the first verse and already I’m confused.

I can get cha I can get cha get cha anything

MIKE: Except for lessons on how to get over your stutter.

Cha ching money ain't a thang

[Verse 1: Gucci Mane]

Gucci

CROW: That saying your name thing is really annoying. Crow!

I can be da co pilot

You can do da drivin

MIKE: Is Gucci Mane so lazy that he has to have someone else drive his Benz around the city?

You can be da star baby

I can be ya stylist

TOM: Oh, what would you know about women’s hair, Gucci?

No my name not gilligan

But let's go to an island

CROW: We can practice cannibalism! It’ll be fun!

Love to make you smile

But id rather by ya diamonds

MIKE: Gucci Mane cares not for human emotions! Gucci Mane only cares for material possessions!!

And if I'm far away from you the ring will be remindin

That nobody can do ya better do I treat ya kindly

TOM: Did two ideas just fuse into one sentence?

And I ain't tryna flatter you but I think you the finest damn you gettin thick

I hope you don't go on a diet

I just bought you a dress cause tonight I will be blindin

CROW: But how will anyone see it if they’re blinded?

Watch, chain, ring, earrings

And they shinin

Gucci Mane La'Flare

MIKE: Is the worst stage name ever.

But baby you can call me icy

So tell me fi they hate on me

Cause I don't want him to like me

TOM: Wait, who’s the “him” in this equation? What’s going on?

[Verse 2: Teairra Mari]

CROW: Who?

TOM: I have no idea.

MIKE Me neither.

He put them low profiles on my car

He treats me to a pedi plus manicure

CROW [singing]: He throws money to starving orphans so they can buy diamonds too!!

Anything I ask for from my sponsor he go and bu-bu-bu-buy buy

A baby blue madalion I just got

My feet they speak italian walk so hot

TOM: Hey, Mike? What language do your feet speak?

CROW: I think they’re mute, but they sure smell bad!

MIKE [offended]: Hey!

I tell him baby thanks alot

My sponsor he go and bu-bu-buy buy

MIKE: Remember, girls, always date rich men! You’ll never have worry about supporting yourself again!

[Hook:]

He ain't no square

CROW: He’s the bee’s knees, Daddy-o!!

He just likes to share

In love with a tip for throwin hundreds in the air

Throw some over here

And loui drop the loui drop the loui in my lap

TOM: I know a guy who has an anvil named Loui. I’ll see if he’s around.

[Chorus:]

Yeaaah (and all my ladies say)

MIKE: Female empowerment? What’s that?

Yeaaah (the go go girls say)

Yeaaah (hey hey)

I got myself a sponsor

CROW: Y’know, I’d never thought I’d say this, but I really want to hear some Beyoncé right now.

Yeeaaah (to fill up a drank for me)

Yeeaaah (to fill up a tank for me)

TOM: Yeeaaah (to get me some more plastic surgery)

Yeeaaah (to put something in the bank for)

I got myself a sponsor

MIKE: Good for you. Now get a job!

[Verse 3:]

Every weekend I see dominicans in the chair

She can bring out the featurs in my hair

CROW: Mike? Who are all these other people they keep referring to?

MIKE: Their imaginary friends?

Add a couple tracks for flare

My sponsor he go and bu-bu-buy buy

He must be a rapper, baller, doctor, dentist

Corner boy, cook chef, chemist

TOM: Well, temp’s not in there, Mike. Guess you’re out of luck.

MIKE [feigning disappointment]: And I was looking forward to being her sponsor too…

I don't even care

Just so long as he goes and bu-bu-buy buy

CROW: Remember, this song is on iTunes ™ right now, so go out and bu-bu-buy-buy!!

[Hook:]

He ain't no square

He just likes to share

MIKE [Teairra]: Just not with any of you poor folk.

In love with a tip for throwin hundreds in the air

TOM: Now what does that lyric mean?

CROW: Yes.

Throw some over here

And loui drop the loui drop the loui in my lap

[Chorus:]

Yeaaah (and all my ladies say)

Yeaaah

MIKE: (all the riffers say)

BOTS: Noooo!!

(the go go girls say)

Yeaaah (hey hey)

I got myself a sponsor

CROW: I have a sponsor too!! He’s the reason why I can buy so many delicious Egg Mc Muffins™ at Mc Donalds™!!

Yeeaaah (to fill up a drank for me)

Yeeaaah (to fill up a tank for me)

TOM [singing]: Yeeaaah (To bulldoze the houses of poor people away so that my own personal mall can be built!)

Yeeaaah (to put something in the bank for)

I got myself a sponsor

[Verse 4: Soulja Boy]

MIKE: Strap in, guys, things are about to get a lot more pointless around here.

Baby girl like the way I tote the loui bag

CROW [falsetto]: Oh, wow! It’s sooo hot when the bag hangs off your shoulder like that!

Soulja boy tell em got a million dolla swagg

We gettin money

All about the dollar

TOM: This makes “Omaha Mall” look subtle.

Poppin these tags

Like I'm poppin my collar

Hit her on twitter

So she can follow me

MIKE: Hey, this song must be a prequel to “LOL Smiley Face”!!

Later on you end up with me

We gon end up on TMZ

CROW: As the least talked about celebrity couple of all time.

I'm so fly

ALL: But are you fly like a G6?

I'm fly as I can be

I can take you out to go shoppin

Then to get somethin to eat

TOM [sarcastic]: What woman wouldn’t be charmed by those vague plans?

Soulja!

[Bridge:]

Yeeah (yeeah)

CROW: Do we have to riff this?

Yeeah (yeeah)

Put yo hands in the air

If you don't care

MIKE [Teairra,defiant]: That’s right, I don’t support myself! What are you going to do about it?

Say yeah

If you tryna get it

That's some work

TOM: Boy, does this bridge belong in a different song.

Then come with it

[Chorus]:

Yeaaah (and all my ladies say)

Yeaaah (the go go girls say)

CROW: Support the Goldiggers Society?

Yeaaah (hey hey)

I got myself a sponsor

Yeeaaah (to fill up a drank for me)

MIKE [Teairra]: What do you expect? I’m rich now! I can get someone else to do my basic tasks!

Yeeaaah (to fill up a tank for me)

Yeeaaah (to put something in the bank for)

I got myself a sponsor

MIKE: I dunno. I wouldn’t feel too proud if I had to rely on Soulja Boy for my source of income.

Buy buy

TOM: The song’s over! We can leave! Yay!

Bu bu buy buy

Bu bu buy buy

Bu bu buy buy

CROW [announcer] : That was Teairra Mari encouraging you to buy more crap!


Well? You heard Teairra Mari! Go out and bu-bu-buy-buy!!

Comments

Feb 9th 2011 at 12:16:54 PM
I know you see the colors in the colors in my chain

Yo dawg, I heard you like colors...
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