Live Blogs Pannic Reads Stuff He Hates

Pannic2012-06-30 18:18:12

In the event that you just clicked this more or less at random and have pretty much no idea what this is, allow me to explain:

Fallout: Equestria is a fanfiction, a crossover between the Fallout series of video games and the cartoon My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It may be the single most popular fanfiction in the entire fandom of the latter. The story is 45 chapters long plus an epilogue and an afterwards, clocks in at a word count higher than War and Peace (unless I'm mistaken one tragically misguided fan put the story on Wikipedia's "list of the longest books ever" page. Obviously it was removed), and has a large fanbase of its own, spawning fan art, fan adaptations, music, and even fanfiction of its own.

Fans have praised it for worldbuilding: the story actually does not go for the usual "character from video game meets ponies" premise a lot of lazy crossovers opt for, and instead works it into the backstory how we get from the universe in the show to the post-apocalyptic radioactive wasteland that we recognize from the Fallout games. Or I would recognize it if I'd played the games. As it is, I am waiting for a sale on Steam or GOG. The main characters of the story are all original characters, and they have been praised as "OC ponies done right" and "the best OC ponies in the fandom." In any case, the protagonist Littlepip is fairly instantly recognizable to many in the fandom, whether or not they've read the story. The story's length also qualifies it as something of an "epic." In any case, it has had praise heaped on it and is considered by many to be the best fanfic in the FiM fandom.

At this point, I have cleared chapter 13. I do not think the story deserves the praise it receives. I view it as horrendously overrated. As I go through the story, I will detail my problems with the story, along with general mockery.

The general Fallout: Equestria thread did not approve of my incessant riffing on the story and suggested I take it to a liveblog. Well, that's what I'll do.

A note that for the parts I have already read (the first thirteen chapters), I will be largely dealing from memory. As such, they will most likely not be as detailed as when I return to the stuff I haven't read. In any case, let's get started. Hopefully this isn't redundant as Perpetual Lurker is also doing a liveblog.

EDIT: It seems my complaining cannot be confined to a single fanfic. As such, I have decided to turn this into a multi-story liveblog!

Comments

KuroiTsubasaTenshi Since: Dec, 1969

Aug 13th 2015 at 1:22:30 PM

I don't know if the role thing is even that accurate. At least, based on what you quoted, after the character profile infodump, I completely lose track of who's who. It seems like they're all the same guy who just sometimes performs different tasks because he has four separate bodies.

Them just trivializing everything also makes me shake my head. The whole thing screams "Gary Stus!"

Valikdu Since: Dec, 1969

Aug 13th 2015 at 2:14:22 PM

>> Rose Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

AND THE LIVING WILL ENVY THE DEAD!

IcyShake Since: Dec, 1969

Aug 14th 2015 at 5:36:25 AM

• Today's story is The Kings of Crystal, and there's a twist: it's not about an idiot in a costume. It's about multiple idiots in costumes.

Joy!

• I saw it made the feature box, and I just had to chime in. Granted, it's not fair to be prejudiced. Maybe the fic is actually okay. We'll see as I dive into this.

Ahem. http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/524665/is-there-finally-a-good-displaced-fic-in-the-featurebox

• Johnny was one of the tannest of the group, most that met him had usually mistaken him for being Spanish or Mexican.

"One of the tannest"? There are four of them. Just say he's the tannest. Also, if we're going into stereotypes, I don't think Spaniards are considered particularly comparable to Mexicans in terms of skin tone.

• Compared to Thomas, he was only half of a foot taller.

Ugh, the prose here is just awful. Try "He was only a half a foot taller than Thomas." Maybe wiht emphasis on "only" or "Thomas."

• This usually led to rash decisions being made in his life.

Okay, I'll actually give this two things. It got the form of "led" right, which I've seen done wrong a lot. And in this case, the passive voice lends the sentence a sense of understatement that enhances the tone of the paragraph.

• He was quick to anger, almost as much as Thomas,

This would mean something if you said anything about how quick to anger Thomas was.

• Dominic had been the biggest out of all them.

Until one of the others grew? Or did he shrink?

• Dominic had always wanted to go into the line of something akin to a politician, but less corrupt.

Ugh.

• He never spoke about his family, and his sheer size made him the scariest of the group, so nobody dared to ask, lest they anger the mortal titan.

This would mean more if we knew anything about his family.

• "Time." Francis pulled the pair of night vision goggles down and gave a spinning kick to the air.

If they're in line for a convention, doesn't this likely lead to him being blinded for as long as he keeps the goggles on?

• So they arrive in Equestria apropos of nothing and inspect themselves.

I was thinking earlier today that the perfect ending for any Displaced story is "and then this asshole/these assholes got on with their convention."

• "This is definitely real, or we're some freaky drugs..." Johnny hoisted his shield and CMP off of the floor and held both on either side of him. /

• "Let's find out where we are and get the hell out of here."

Two things: I would like to be a freaky drug; and there are authors I respect who seem to dislike the use of speech tags, and this sort of thing just seems to weaken their argument.

• Murmurs of agreement were made as the group of students made their way out of the bedroom.

This couldn't have been done in that active voice?

• They immediately stopped as soon as they exited the room.

Oh my god. The redundancy here is terrible.

• The only thing they noticed was a door that was bigger than the rest. They all decided to move towards that one.

Way to fall for the obvious Schelling point, guys.

• Cutting people off is a well-known feature of "diplomatic" people.

• Uhh... you probably should know who Celestia is. She saved your heart in the first place when she first reigned Equestria, and she also kicked Sombra's ass. Oh, wait. The author isn't aware of this.

Semi-related, this actually raises the point that it would be helpful to have dates more specific that "a thousand years ago," especially if those are approximations. Even "a thousand years ago, soon after the banishment of Nightmare Moon" or ". . . before Luna and I ruled Equestria" would help clear up relevant points like "was the Crystal Empire aware of the Princesses."

• Oh. They can no sell everything. This is despite the show's numerous indications that pony magic is pretty powerful.

Tension, obstacles, what are those?

• That's retarded.

And now they aren't trusting any of the Crystal Empire ponies?

Medinoc Since: Dec, 1969

Dec 10th 2015 at 3:20:51 PM

So these dudes, who were supposedly going to a convention, brought fully functional firearms with them?