Live Blogs You're only reading this because I rated the game 3/10! Let's read horrible GameFAQs reviews!

Ephraim2252011-04-19 00:10:18

Game FA Qs is perhaps one of the most informative Video Game websites known to man. Created in 1995, the site is a database of video game information, nearly all of which is submitted by volunteer contributors. You can find just about anything you'd want to know about any given game: walkthroughs, maps, cheats, secrets, release dates, box art, reviews...

Haha reviews

Game FA Qs is already notorious for its many Fora, the userbase of which is known to consist primarily of Trolls, idiots, console soldiers, and people too lazy to read the FAQs the damn site is named for. But that wouldn't be enough, for there is a second cesspit of hatred and lies on this otherwise awesome website - the reviews section, where users are allowed to give their opinions on a given game or system.

Maybe you've come across that one review on that one game, and something seems a little off. That is, you can't understand where the reviewer is coming from, or his spelling sucks, or maybe he didn't even play the damn game. I, Ephraim225, am here to expose the worst, most incomprehensible, unreadable, and possibly painful Game FA Qs reviews you have ever had the misfortune of hearing about.

Now, don't get me wrong, we all have opinions. Mine might be different, that's just life etc. etc....but hear me out. I've seen Game FA Qs users write good reviews before. I've seen reviews that I don't agree with but are well-written. We're here to find the reviews that will make you let out a Flat "What", among other unexpected expected reactions.

Let's read horrible Game FA Qs reviews.

Comments

Korval Since: Dec, 1969

Aug 13th 2011 at 1:01:27 AM

This has got to be one of the most frustrating and rage inducing games in the history of mankind. Fox News this game is not.

... What does that even mean? If he hates Fox News, does this mean that the game is more rage inducing or less than Fox News? And vice-versa if he likes Fox News.

I can't really talk about balance due to not having played the game for very long, but I don't think character imbalances can make or break a game.

They can if it's a multiplayer game. Unless you're a competitive gamer, you generally play a character because you enjoy some aspect of that character. If playing the character you enjoy makes you The Load of your team, that's not good. Your teammates don't want you playing, and you're making your team less effective.

Not that this will boost their scores very much, since they constantly lose ELO in order to play less skilled players and won't earn back much more than was lost. At least that's how I see it.

It still fucks up the game for the low-skilled players playing against them. If every third game you play is a squash-match from people you couldn't hope to take on, there's no point.

Hey that reminds me...he hasn't actually talked about the GAMEPLAY yet. So far he's talked about what other people are doing that "ruins" the experience for him. We haven't heard anything about what the game is like, what kind of game it is or how it plays.

It's a multiplayer game. The community is part of the gameplay. You can have the best game in the world, but if it's multiplayer is populated by assholes, it's not going to be a fun experience.

JackAlsworth Since: Dec, 1969

Aug 13th 2011 at 6:54:02 PM

[-(the flamey person is Brand)-]

BearyScary Since: Dec, 1969

Aug 15th 2011 at 3:34:00 PM

These reviews just bring to mind what happens when a reviewer - and I'm sure this happens to professionals too - tries to portray him/herself as "better" than the product they're reviewing.

I liked the part where you interrupted his review to point out that it was his ONLY one (so far).

Jergling Since: Dec, 1969

Nov 30th 2011 at 7:01:04 PM

Anyone else notice that he admits to being 30 years old and unemployed in this review? Generally not a great thing to bring up when you're trying to look smart.