ShiroiHane on Sep 29th 2011 at 5:26:41 AM
Last Edited By:
Snowy66 on Jan 6th 2019 at 4:41:40 PM
Page Type: Trope
A character, usually a housewife but almost Always Female, offers her partner three choices; traditionally, it's either meal, bath or sex. Downplayed examples may ignore the offer of sex, while Exaggerated examples may offer multiple partners, or show up in a Naked Apron.
As this trope has its basis in an old Japanese customnote (which is likely to get parodied nowadays), this trope is fairly common in hentai and Ecchi, particularly Rom Coms and Harem anime. In modern comedies the protagonist will often either choose one of the options that isn't sex, or ignore the question entirely; it's not uncommon for the person being asked the question to not reciprocate the girl's feelings at all.
Merely making the offer implies the submissive/dominant roles of the relationship between the characters, because the submissive is ready for "anything" asked of them. Only giving one option doesn't qualify, unless it's a Hobsons Choice where each option leads to the same result.
- In Ai Yori Aoshi, Aoi says this during an Imagine Spot by Kaoru. Inside it, it didn't matter which choice he picked, because he gets her no matter what.
- In Black Bullet, Enju tries to offer choices to Rentaro while wearing nothing but a towel. Rentaro's response is to implore her to Please Put Some Clothes On.
- In Book of Bantorra, Hamyuts Meseta asks if Mallatast (who she considers her "boytoy") wants "dinner, bath, or me?". Mallatast chooses the sex, and Bridal Carries her to their bedroom.
- An Exaggerated Trope in Daily Life with Monster Girl, where Lamia girl Miia gives the "food, bath, or me?" offer complete with the Naked Apron to her exchange program host Kimihito (wearing a Salary Man outfit) in one of her Imagine Spots. The response (she imagined) was "I'll have YOU for dinner IN the bath, Miia!", and we get a shot of him doing her on the bathtub still wearing her apron while he's still wearing Salary Man uniform.
- In the Grisaia no Kajitsu anime, Akane tries to offer choices to Yuuji, but before she's even finished he bluntly states, "I'll have a shower" and walks straight past her.
- Exaggerated in the Haiyore! Nyarko-san anime, as Nyaruko offers Mahiro three choices, all of which are her:
"You must've had a hard day at work. Would you like to start with me? Or would you prefer me first? Or maybe you'd like... me?"
- In Konosuba, one member of the Axis Cult does this to troll Kazuma, asking "Are you here for conversion? Baptism? Or are you here for me?" Kazuma is dumbfounded before she laughs and tells him she was joking, while Kazuma rages on the inside and wishes he could punch her.
- In Love Hina, Mutsumi gets a crack on the head and her personality reverts to being five years old. She offers a choice that implies sex while "playing house" with Keitaro, making him and Naru wonder whether she's screwing with them or not.
- In Miss Caretaker of Sunohara-sou, Yuzu describes to Aki the kind of wife adds wants to be and has a daydream where she welcomes home her husband with this exact phrase. However after noticing Aki fidgeting she adds "Or maybe you can eat my bath scrubbers instead!" while throwing them at Aki's head.
- In No Game No Life, when Fil returns to the exiled Kurami with a bag of ISO-Standard Urban Groceries while the latter is taking a bath:
Fil: Do you want information? Food? Or... [removes her hood] ...me?Kurami: [smiling] Clothes first, I think.
- In Plastic Memories, Isla makes Tsukasa such an offer in The Stinger of Episode 6. Played for Laughs in that she got the idea from Tsukasa's book of romantic advice, and clearly doesn't understand what she's saying.
- The title character of Saki subtly suggests sex in Kyoutaro's imagine spot of Nodoka in episode 4.
"Welcome home darling. Would you like something to eat? Or maybe a bath? Or perhaps..."
- Sakura-sou no Pet na Kanojo. Subverted by Misaki in the first episode as she offers Sorata dinner, bath, or.... underwear. note
- In Sasameki Koto, protagonist Sumika fantasizes about Ushio becoming a housewife and offering her a choice that includes sex.
- In To Love-Ru, Yui has an Imagine Spot of her and Rito being married, where future Rito comes home and future Yui greets him by asking "Would you like dinner? Or a bath first?" before Rito asks for "a welcome home kiss". At which point Yui snaps out of her daydream in horror.
- Mafuyu, while play-acting as Sugisaki's wife in Seitokai no Ichizon Lv. 2, goes from offering food or bath to offering him sex with the older guy, Nakameguro.
"Welcome home, Darling. Will you start with dinner? Or a bath? Or... Nakameguro-sempai?"
- A Subverted Trope inStrike the Blood, while Kojou Akatsuki is aboard another vampire lord's boat. Several bikini-clad women introduce themselves as maids and offer to wash his back. When he refuses, they offer to wash his front, which he refuses even harder. He questions whether they actually are maids, and they reveal the subversion: they're political hostages from foreign lands, trying to seduce him so that they'd become pregnant with the child of the most powerful vampire in the world, which would guarantee them political status.
- In Yubisaki Milk Tea, Hidari once greets her father when he came home by offering him dinner, bath, or herself. He decides to go to bed, instead.
- Coffee, Tea, or Me?, a book about the airline industry in the 1960's, discusses this trope, putting the offer in the title.
- In Being Human season 3, Annie makes the "Coffee, tea, or me" offer to Mitchell. She's only teasing him; however, the characters are aware that it is a cliche, and he picks coffee.
- A Downplayed trope in the bonus dungeon "Mysterious Unison" from Eternal Sonata. There is a soul orb called Mute who offers your party the choice of a shower first, or if you want to eat. If you choose Shower and have enough Gold, your party is healed. If you choose Eat and have the max amount of Gold of 99,999,999, then your party is granted a Soul Shard item, one of seven found in the dungeon.
- From Time and Eternity, in order to gauge how strong the bond between the soon to be married main couple is, a guardian asks them a question. The guardian basically asks which would the guy choose after coming home; food, a bath, or his blushing bride. With the guardian being a Dirty Old Man, the correct answer is the guy's bride.
- Kantai Collection: Houshou, one of the light carrier girls, says this in one of her secretary lines, fitting for her motherly personality.
(to the Admiral) You must be tired. Would you like a meal? The bath? Or... fufu, just kidding.
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