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"Sustenance, Shower or Sex" Offer

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The Breadwinner arrives home and is immediately offered comfort of 3 things: food, bath or sex

This work is a proposed Trope, Tropers can vote and offer feedback in the comments section below.
Proposed By:
ShiroiHane on Sep 29th 2011 at 5:26:41 AM
Last Edited By:
Snowy66 on Jan 6th 2019 at 4:41:40 PM
Name Space: Main
Page Type: Trope

A character, usually a housewife but almost Always Female, offers her partner three choices; traditionally, it's either meal, bath or sex. Downplayed examples may ignore the offer of sex, while Exaggerated examples may offer multiple partners, or show up in a Naked Apron.

As this trope has its basis in an old Japanese customnote  (which is likely to get parodied nowadays), this trope is fairly common in hentai and Ecchi, particularly Rom Coms and Harem anime. In modern comedies the protagonist will often either choose one of the options that isn't sex, or ignore the question entirely; it's not uncommon for the person being asked the question to not reciprocate the girl's feelings at all.

Merely making the offer implies the submissive/dominant roles of the relationship between the characters, because the submissive is ready for "anything" asked of them. Only giving one option doesn't qualify, unless it's a Hobsons Choice where each option leads to the same result.


Examples

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    Anime, Light Novel, and Manga 
  • In Ai Yori Aoshi, Aoi says this during an Imagine Spot by Kaoru. Inside it, it didn't matter which choice he picked, because he gets her no matter what.
  • In Black Bullet, Enju tries to offer choices to Rentaro while wearing nothing but a towel. Rentaro's response is to implore her to Please Put Some Clothes On.
  • In Book of Bantorra, Hamyuts Meseta asks if Mallatast (who she considers her "boytoy") wants "dinner, bath, or me?". Mallatast chooses the sex, and Bridal Carries her to their bedroom.
  • An Exaggerated Trope in Daily Life with Monster Girl, where Lamia girl Miia gives the "food, bath, or me?" offer complete with the Naked Apron to her exchange program host Kimihito (wearing a Salary Man outfit) in one of her Imagine Spots. The response (she imagined) was "I'll have YOU for dinner IN the bath, Miia!", and we get a shot of him doing her on the bathtub still wearing her apron while he's still wearing Salary Man uniform.
  • In the Grisaia no Kajitsu anime, Akane tries to offer choices to Yuuji, but before she's even finished he bluntly states, "I'll have a shower" and walks straight past her.
  • Exaggerated in the Haiyore! Nyarko-san anime, as Nyaruko offers Mahiro three choices, all of which are her:
    "You must've had a hard day at work. Would you like to start with me? Or would you prefer me first? Or maybe you'd like... me?"
  • In Konosuba, one member of the Axis Cult does this to troll Kazuma, asking "Are you here for conversion? Baptism? Or are you here for me?" Kazuma is dumbfounded before she laughs and tells him she was joking, while Kazuma rages on the inside and wishes he could punch her.
  • In Love Hina, Mutsumi gets a crack on the head and her personality reverts to being five years old. She offers a choice that implies sex while "playing house" with Keitaro, making him and Naru wonder whether she's screwing with them or not.
  • In Miss Caretaker of Sunohara-sou, Yuzu describes to Aki the kind of wife adds wants to be and has a daydream where she welcomes home her husband with this exact phrase. However after noticing Aki fidgeting she adds "Or maybe you can eat my bath scrubbers instead!" while throwing them at Aki's head.
  • In No Game No Life, when Fil returns to the exiled Kurami with a bag of ISO-Standard Urban Groceries while the latter is taking a bath:
    Fil: Do you want information? Food? Or... [removes her hood] ...me?
    Kurami: [smiling] Clothes first, I think.
  • In Plastic Memories, Isla makes Tsukasa such an offer in The Stinger of Episode 6. Played for Laughs in that she got the idea from Tsukasa's book of romantic advice, and clearly doesn't understand what she's saying.
  • The title character of Saki subtly suggests sex in Kyoutaro's imagine spot of Nodoka in episode 4.
    "Welcome home darling. Would you like something to eat? Or maybe a bath? Or perhaps..."
  • Sakura-sou no Pet na Kanojo. Subverted by Misaki in the first episode as she offers Sorata dinner, bath, or.... underwear. note 
  • In Sasameki Koto, protagonist Sumika fantasizes about Ushio becoming a housewife and offering her a choice that includes sex.
  • In To Love-Ru, Yui has an Imagine Spot of her and Rito being married, where future Rito comes home and future Yui greets him by asking "Would you like dinner? Or a bath first?" before Rito asks for "a welcome home kiss". At which point Yui snaps out of her daydream in horror.
  • Mafuyu, while play-acting as Sugisaki's wife in Seitokai no Ichizon Lv. 2, goes from offering food or bath to offering him sex with the older guy, Nakameguro.
    "Welcome home, Darling. Will you start with dinner? Or a bath? Or... Nakameguro-sempai?"
  • A Subverted Trope inStrike the Blood, while Kojou Akatsuki is aboard another vampire lord's boat. Several bikini-clad women introduce themselves as maids and offer to wash his back. When he refuses, they offer to wash his front, which he refuses even harder. He questions whether they actually are maids, and they reveal the subversion: they're political hostages from foreign lands, trying to seduce him so that they'd become pregnant with the child of the most powerful vampire in the world, which would guarantee them political status.
  • In Yubisaki Milk Tea, Hidari once greets her father when he came home by offering him dinner, bath, or herself. He decides to go to bed, instead.

     Literature 
  • Coffee, Tea, or Me?, a book about the airline industry in the 1960's, discusses this trope, putting the offer in the title.

     Live-Action Television 
  • In Being Human season 3, Annie makes the "Coffee, tea, or me" offer to Mitchell. She's only teasing him; however, the characters are aware that it is a cliche, and he picks coffee.

     Video Games 
""More importantly, what would you like to do first tonight? Dinner? Bath? Or.. a scrubber?"
(where "scrubber", tawashi, is a anagram of "me", watashi. Choosing this option lands you with washing the dishes.)
  • A Downplayed trope in the bonus dungeon "Mysterious Unison" from Eternal Sonata. There is a soul orb called Mute who offers your party the choice of a shower first, or if you want to eat. If you choose Shower and have enough Gold, your party is healed. If you choose Eat and have the max amount of Gold of 99,999,999, then your party is granted a Soul Shard item, one of seven found in the dungeon.
  • From Time and Eternity, in order to gauge how strong the bond between the soon to be married main couple is, a guardian asks them a question. The guardian basically asks which would the guy choose after coming home; food, a bath, or his blushing bride. With the guardian being a Dirty Old Man, the correct answer is the guy's bride.
  • Kantai Collection: Houshou, one of the light carrier girls, says this in one of her secretary lines, fitting for her motherly personality.
    (to the Admiral) You must be tired. Would you like a meal? The bath? Or... fufu, just kidding.

Feedback: 125 replies

Sep 29th 2011 at 5:44:02 AM

Looks like merely a stock phrase. We don't make new pages for them anymore.

Sep 29th 2011 at 11:42:48 AM

There looks to be a legit trope here, but the name may need to be changed.

Sep 30th 2011 at 9:00:53 AM

I doubt this is limited to Anime and Manga.

Sep 30th 2011 at 12:17:11 PM

Keep in mind that a desert is not the same thing as a dessert.

And I can't recall any examples right now.

Sep 30th 2011 at 12:32:02 PM

Interesting variants:

Anime and Manga:

  • In Vampire Hunter D: D returns home exhausted and is greeted by a scantily - clad Doris. She notices his fangs are extended and turns to expose her neck.
    "You can, if you want to."
    • Earlier, when she first met him:
    Doris: My name's Doris Lang. Do you think you'll be able to help me? Don't worry, I can pay for it. I don't have much in the way of money, but I'll give you three meals a day, and you can sleep with me if you want to.

Literature:

Oct 1st 2011 at 11:35:04 AM

In Yubisaki Milk Tea Hidari once greet her father like this when he come home in the evening:

Hidari: Do you want dinner? Or a bath? Or... ...(kissing) me?
He going to sleep!

Oct 2nd 2011 at 7:26:22 PM

Oct 4th 2011 at 7:12:58 PM

I took the liberty of fixing the desert/dessert typo.

Oct 5th 2011 at 4:12:27 AM

In one of the Fairy Tail extra, Mirajane suggest Lucy to do this to Natsu. Lucy isn't amused...

Apr 21st 2012 at 4:47:00 PM

There must be some western examples of this somewhere.

Apr 23rd 2012 at 9:24:49 AM

^ I can't think of any besides "Coffee, Tea, or Me?" which has already been mentioned.

Oct 7th 2012 at 5:14:57 PM

  • Nyarko in Nyarko San makes this offer to Mahiro right as he comes home. What really pissed him off was that he just got home from their emotion-choked farewell and she was supposed to go home and out of his life..

If this doesn't get axed as being a stock phrase, is there any particular reason why it comes up? Some old cultural reference? A national in-joke or idiom?

Oct 8th 2012 at 8:48:49 AM

  • In Love Hina, Mutsumi gets a crack on the head and her personality reverts to being five years old. She pulls this one while "playing house" with Keitaro, making him and Naru wonder whether she's screwing with them or not.

In Japan, the standard cliche (both in media and Real Life) greeting for a homecoming husband is to ask him if he wants dinner or a bath first. This is the stock comical Insatiable Newlyweds version. It basically goes back to the sexist traditional japanese view of a wife's duty, which is to center her life around providing her husband with three things: hot meals, comfort and sex. Its really an Undead Horse Trope that's generally portrayed as comically unrealistic.

Maybe Submissive Spouse Greeting? This could get into 50's era housewife stereotypes, which aren't too far removed.

Oct 9th 2012 at 2:04:05 PM

The Western version is more like "Should we have dinner, or skip straight to <wink>dessert</wink>", as hinted above, or "Want to join me for dinner?" "I'm not hungry" "<wink>Neither am I</wink>". It's the same idea really.

Oct 9th 2012 at 2:10:04 PM

  • There's the Futurama variant in "Roswell That Ends Well"
    Fry: Hey, you know what always cheers you up? Baking me a nice tray of sugar cookies!
    Mildred (Fry's grandma): How 'bout these cookies, sugar? (rips off her shirt)

Oct 22nd 2012 at 6:27:21 AM

Do notes/hottips not work in YKKTW?

Oct 22nd 2012 at 2:38:33 PM

^ I think the No New Stock Phrases rule does significantly more harm than good at this point, causing perfectly good titles to be rejected because they sound like stock phrases, in favor of clunky and less descriptive titles.

However, I support your motion to discard, on the unrelated grounds of insufficient examples having turned up to think that this is really a trope as opposed to a rarely-used gag.

Oct 23rd 2012 at 4:25:52 AM

  • In Ai Yori Aoshi, Aoi says this during an Imagine Spot by Kaoru. Inside it, it didn't matter which choice he picked, because he gets her no matter what.

Oct 23rd 2012 at 5:23:58 AM

^^ Seen it a million times.

Usually an imagine spot fantasizing about future wedded bliss with the Love Interest. It's not even as male oriented as you'd think, as sometimes girls will fantasize about being the wife in this scenario. (Though men of course are the primary fantasizers). It's a subtrope of Insatiable Newlyweds and should be identified as such.

There are also plenty of examples already listed. I count 14 so far, which is well beyond the required 3.

Some other examples:

Change123: An imagine spot by the protagonist when he discovers his father went and arranged an engagement with his girlfriend.

Mysterious Girlfriend X: One of many imagine spots by the male

Seitokai no Ichizon: In one of the many imagine spot of the protagonist.

Truthfully it's so ubiquitous that it's hard to remember all the places I've seen it. It's pretty obviously a trope and should not be discarded.

The title needs to be rewritten to not be a catch phrase, and it needs to be written so as to include the Western examples of which there are several. (I seem to remember some 50's magazine advising women to greet their husbands wrapped up in cellopane or something).

But it shouldn't be discarded. How about the bland Food Relaxation And Sex as the working title until we find something better?

Oct 23rd 2012 at 10:18:39 AM

> Truthfully it's so ubiquitous that it's hard to remember all the places I've seen it.

That's the main reason I went to YKTTW - It's taken me a year to come up with my four examples...

Oct 23rd 2012 at 2:50:59 PM

Indeed, seen it everywhere. Though the only times the suggester plays it straight, the suggestee subverted it by declining. Maybe a Dead Unicorn Trope?

Oct 23rd 2012 at 5:07:15 PM

^, ^^, ^^^: Yeah so is this strictly an eroge thing? Because seriously, the book FrodoGoofballCoTV mentioned back in September of last year is the only example I have ever seen.

Oct 23rd 2012 at 5:33:00 PM

Not so much eroge - usually either it something like the girl who has the hots for the schuck lead who runs a mile, or the Innocent Fanservice Girl following some "advice" or someone just joking around. Not that I have much eroge experience outside of adaptations, but I've never seen dessert actually consumed.

Oct 23rd 2012 at 7:10:42 PM

It's not an eroge thing.

It's like a stock fantasy of wedded bliss. Like Insatiable Newlyweds it's slightly naughty, but because of it's strong association with marriage it's also accepted as "within the rules." As the protagonist of Change123 put it while imagining this scene: "Once you're married you can do whatever you want."

Oct 23rd 2012 at 8:44:51 PM

Something like Hospitality Sex, perhaps?

Oct 24th 2012 at 8:17:50 PM

In the bonus dungeon Mysterious Unison in Eternal Sonata, there is a soul orb called Mute who asks if you want a shower first, or if you want to eat. If you choose Shower and have enough Gold, your party is healed. If you choose Eat and have the max amount of Gold of 99,999,999, then your party is granted a Soul Shard item, one of seven found in the dungeon.

Oct 25th 2012 at 7:20:41 PM

How is that this trope?

Oct 25th 2012 at 8:41:34 PM

It's not the trope specifically, but it would seem to be a joking reference to it.

Jan 1st 2013 at 2:52:09 PM

There is a Real Life precedent. Don't remember the exact name of that custom (I have a vague feeling it was called "[something] prostitution"), but it involved offering your wife to your guests, e.g. in case they were gods in disguise.

Apr 3rd 2013 at 6:35:22 PM

I gotta agree, this is a stock phrase.

Apr 15th 2014 at 12:59:47 PM

Okay if I grab this draft? (Giving OP a chance to continue, otherwise, I'll take over)

Apr 15th 2014 at 4:22:14 PM

What if I tell you: a good stock phrase does not have a stock phrase title? :P

Anyways I don't think OP is around anymore.

I've seen this a few times in hentai too :p

Apr 16th 2014 at 2:39:07 AM

  • Changed the title to "Food Bath Or Me Offer" so it won't be a "line of dialog" title.
  • Namespaced and italicized work names.
  • Corrected spelling (firt -> first).
  • De-capitalized some Significant Capitals (Sumo).

The Black Bullet example is a Zero Context Example.

Apr 16th 2014 at 2:40:12 AM

Note that this cannot be just about the Stock Phrase (since there are No New Stock Phrases allowed). It has to be about the situation and relationship between the characters.

Apr 16th 2014 at 6:45:16 AM

Gonna fix that description...

Apr 16th 2014 at 10:34:11 AM

The OP's last edit was yesterday. I'm giving them the chance/choice to continue before I take over.

Apr 17th 2014 at 9:23:25 PM

  • From Time And Eternity, in order to gauge how strong the bond between the soon to be married main couple is, a guardian asks them this question. The guardian basically asks them hypothetically which would the guy choose after coming home, whether it be food, a bath, or his blushing bride. With the guardian being a Dirty Old Man though, the correct answer is the guy's bride.

Apr 18th 2014 at 1:19:10 AM

The trope here seems to be Nymphomaniac Housewife Gag (as in, this is a common line for said gag). the stock phrase is the "Food, Bath or Me"

Anime and Manga

Apr 18th 2014 at 9:25:12 PM

I haven't added any of the examples yet, and I'll be pulling the ones with insufficient context down into the comments here, when I do.

Apr 18th 2014 at 9:41:05 PM

Nymphomaniac Housewife Gag sounds good and descriptive. Submissive Housekeeper Offer doesn't work because a housekeeper is someone paid to clean house and this sounds like it's usually a significant other.

Apr 18th 2014 at 11:11:24 PM

^ Nymphomaniac sounds too strong...

Just change Houskeeper to Housewife and it'll work.

Maybe mention that this is a Japanese cultural trope?

Apr 18th 2014 at 11:11:44 PM

^ Nymphomaniac sounds too strong...

Just change Houskeeper to Housewife and it'll work.

Maybe mention that this is a Japanese cultural trope?

Apr 19th 2014 at 6:39:13 AM

"Submissive Housekeeper", isn't that Hot Maid or French Maid or Maid Fetish?

^ and yes, japanese media trope. Surprise! rarely seen in Eagle Land...

Apr 19th 2014 at 7:04:39 AM

Seen pretty often in Eagle Land, actually. I've even seen it a time or two in British telly (I should rewatch Blackadder or Red Dwarf for a specific example). "Housekeeper" is a gender-neutral term for "someone who keeps the house clean". The connotation of servantry is present, but that's a bonus since the trope is about submissiveness.

What with Women's Liberation in America, it is less used than it used to be, but it isn't a Dead Horse Trope by any means yet.

Apr 19th 2014 at 7:11:48 AM

  • Strike The Blood: Played with. While aboard another vampire lord's boat, protagonist Kojou Akatsuki has several bikini-clad women introduce themselves as maids and offer to wash his back. When he refuses, they offer the front, which he refuses even harder. He questions whether they actually are maids, and they reveal themselves as political hostages from foreign lands. They were trying to seduce him so that they'd become pregnant with the child of the most powerful vampire in the world, which would guarantee them political status.

Apr 19th 2014 at 7:18:15 AM

^^ don't see any major western example yet. btw, gonna correct my monster musume example.

Apr 19th 2014 at 8:14:14 AM

I don't think "submissive" is a good descriptor, as this offer can be made by a dominant female trying to seduce the man. Nor is it mainly about the submissive/dominant relationship, that is an optional wrinkle.

This is a common subtrope of Insatiable Newlyweds. It's about Wedded Bliss and being welcomed home after a hard day at work and being offered the three things men want most: Food, Relaxation, and Sex.

Maybe something like: Welcome Home Male Fantsy

Apr 19th 2014 at 10:12:21 AM

^ the female could be the one fantasizing this too. so I don't like that.

Apr 19th 2014 at 11:17:07 AM

The title is absolutely ridiculous.

Apr 19th 2014 at 4:11:10 PM

Hard to make a title that doesn't sound like a phrase. Cuz this is about a specific offer. :P

Offers Of Submissive Housewife?

Apr 19th 2014 at 4:35:57 PM

i'd still prefer Nymphomaniac somewhere in the title, given the original intention was "food, bath, or SEX". the last one is not what a submissive person would normally offer.

Apr 19th 2014 at 7:43:24 PM

Yes it is. http://bdsmunveiled.blogspot.com/2013/02/being-1950s-style-housewife-in-2013.html?m=1&zx=1baa2868962f02c2

^^ actually, it isn't about any specific offer. That would be an example of Stock Phrases. This about the submissive partner being available for whatever is needed. A stock phrase cannot be subverted, invoked or defied. A trope can. One way to show the character is submissive is to have them offer domestic services that include things like food and clothes and slippers, and, yes, sex. Sex is just not a requirement.

Apr 20th 2014 at 5:32:51 AM


Incomplete Context Examples:
  • Denpa Onna To Seishun Otoko has Meme offer _____ three choices: "Do you want food, a bath, or.. my daughter?"
  • Shugo from Kono Naka Ni Hitori Imouto Ga Iru Imagines ____ making the offer to ____ in episode 11.
  • Enju offers ____ to have ___________ in the first episode of the Black Bullet anime.
  • In Vampire Hunter D (the ___ movie), D meets Doris Lang, who asks him to kill some vampires for her. She doesn't have much money, so she offers regular meals, and sex. Of course, D is actually the son of a vampire, so when he returns home exhausted and is greeted by a scantily-clad Doris, he doesn't want sex. She notices his fangs are extended and turns to offer her neck.
    "You can, if you want to."

Apr 20th 2014 at 6:25:30 AM

^^ The claims of some bdsm blog about what being a 1950s housewife entails is not what I would call an expert opinion.

We only have to go to the way this trope is used in media to see that this is not primarily used to establish a submissive and dominant relationship. It tends to depend on the personality of the woman making the offer. (On rare occasions I've seen this gender flipped, but it is usually the woman making the offer.)

If the woman is usually aggressive, violent, or dominant (such as a Type A Tsundere) then this kind of fantasy (whether had by the man or the woman) can indeed be used to fantasize about her being a more submissive woman.

However, I have just as often seen this kind of Imagine Spot being had by a demure girl (such as a Shrinking Violet) as a way for her to fantasize about being more aggressive, and more dominant. (A guy might also do this too, but it's much more likely to be the girl fantasizing in this type of scenario).

The most common scenario however is neither of these. The guy has this fantasy, not to establish dominant or submissive traits, but rather to show us that the guy is both:

  1. : Pervy and horny.
  2. : "Honorable" (since he's interested in marriage) establishing that he's not just a playboy.

That's the key to these kinds of fantasies. They are a shorthand way of establishing that the person fantasizing is interested in sex, but is not afraid of commitment.

That's a big thing for girls, who might want to insist on marriage before putting out.

Labeling an offer of sex by a wife to her husband as "submissive" just reeks of a biased viewpoint that does not reflect reality. Are we claiming that a husband asking for sex is a submissive act? Husbands and wives have sex, and someone in the pair has to instigate the offer. This fact does not establish dominance.

Apr 20th 2014 at 7:49:59 AM

???? You're taking this the wrong way. Shanghai said that a submissive person does not ask for sex. I shared a link from a submissive person's blog about how they feel about offering sex to their husband. To be specific, they feel very good about doing it.

The link is not a good example of this trope, because the link is about submissiveness in general, not this trope.

In "modern times", the most common version of this trope is... let's call it "Played for Fantasy". The scenario occurs in an Imagine Spot by a character, and they find the situation appealing. However, that's because this is an Evolving Trope, as the situation used to be standard piece of storytelling. Earlier forms of this trope took place on television, but due to the Moral Guardians of the day, even married sex was forbidden from appearing. So while the offer was there, it had to be shown without the sex.

Greeting someone by immediately offering sex would be a different trope. This trope is about the role of the "domestic" partner. At least, that's what I see. Sex isn't a required component for the trope, it is merely a common component because Married People Have Sex.

Apr 20th 2014 at 9:06:09 AM

In the end, though, isn't this primarily about an offer?

Apr 20th 2014 at 9:44:03 AM

I think we need a better idea of what the goal trope is as it looks like this has changed over time. But if this is about a Housewife acting like a Housewife isn't that Housewife?

Apr 20th 2014 at 11:43:13 AM

Going to give what I understand what was the original trope idea. Prior to this YKTTW request, I learned about this thing originally from a Haiyore! Nyaruko-san reference blog and I'm going to give what I understand based what I've seen in other works and interpreted since then.

The trope is primarily a Japanese cliche wherein a husband after returning home from a hard day's work is greeted by his ever-loving wife. She offers three choices for him to relieve himself from all the hard work he's done. A) A hearty meal to fill his stomach B) A bath to freshen himself up or C) Herself because having sex with your beloved wife relieves stress. From what I understand, the third option is just that, an option. It's not necessarily primarily about the sex but about a housewife helping her tired husband out. The sex option however is overemphasized in some works, at least the ones I've seen, for comedic purposes.

It's a japanese culture thing about wives needing to be there for their husbands. It's rather outdated however it seems to be romanticized or something. At the very least, it's been parodied via Imagine Spots or referenced to based on what I've seen. I could be wrong but that's what I take from it.

Apr 20th 2014 at 12:31:19 PM

crazysamaritan

And I'll counter your "submissive person blog (who is into BDSM)" with a "religious person blog (who is a mormon)"

My argument? Frozen veils homosexual agenda.

</end fail logic>

seriously though, Reading the blog, I think she's twisting "submissive" to her own ends, making it sound something else. Yet when you ask the average person their submissive would be the "prudish submissive". though again, thanks to Values Dissonance, it depends on where this submissive woman lives and what her society's culture and attitude are.


Also, I'm with Elfkaiser.

Apr 20th 2014 at 4:12:45 PM

So I guess we all agree that submissive isn't exactly the right word.

Generic Housewife Offers?

Apr 20th 2014 at 6:16:28 PM

^ heh, "generic" makes sense. buut too general in this case, it could be misread as >generic housewife< offers, which means it's a generic housewife offering stuff. the correct reading itself is still too broad though, this is a specific gag, not about offers in general.

Apr 20th 2014 at 6:18:37 PM

also, @ Denpa Onna example above (dude, put that back on top of the OP, nobody seems to read older comments) The blank is "Makoto".

Apr 20th 2014 at 8:27:22 PM

I think the point of this trope is that it's a symbol of wedded bliss, and strongly associated with newlyweds.

Apr 21st 2014 at 6:16:14 PM

Apparently the attribution in the edit history is broken. I believe the last edit actually made by me was 12:05:06 PM 15th Apr '14

May 21st 2014 at 10:01:44 PM

Anime

  • In the seventh episode of No Game No Life, Feel makes a reference to the quote of the Japanese cliche when she arrives back to Kurami. Feel asks Kurami if she wants information, food, or Feel herself. It's just a playful introduction and Les Yay at most.

May 21st 2014 at 11:52:44 PM

Suggested page quote:

"It's been a hard day's night,
I've been working like a dog.
It's been a hard day's night,
I should be sleeping like a log.
But when I get home to you,
I find the things that you do
Will make me feel all right."

— A Hard Day's Night, The Beatles

Jun 17th 2014 at 10:55:12 PM

Isn't this a Discredited Trope? It's exactly because it's so often just an in-universe fantasy that never happens, or a cliched tease, that hints of its being played straight would have staggeringly strong effects on those innocent enough.

As for the name, how about Waifu's Three-Choicer? Trope candidate use is not serious most of the time, so grammar will bend. Weeabooish, yet endearing, "Waifu" further pushes the non-drama point, as well as heavy gravitation towards Japanese media while highlighting the possibility of gender inversion (seen that too). It denotes the actual traditional content precisely. More appropriate laconic would be easy to come up with.

Oct 7th 2014 at 9:20:58 AM

Subverted again in Ar Nosurge in Nay's Mental World where Cass and Delta are a married couple:

""More importantly, what would you like to do first tonight? Dinner? Bath? Or.. a scrubber?"
(where scrubber, "tawashi", is a anagram of me, "watashi". Choosing this option lands you with washing the dishes.)

Nov 14th 2014 at 11:10:18 AM

In Being Human (UK) season 3, Annie makes the "Coffee, tea, or me" offer to Mitchell. It's played straight in the sense that she really is teasing him; however, the characters are aware that it is a cliche, and he picks coffee.

Jan 9th 2015 at 6:53:40 AM

Oh hey, another trope I thought of that's languishing in YKTTW... I took the liberty of touching up the article a little and adding some more examples (I had four examples in my head and only one of them was there). I agree with some of the previous posters, this is a trope that's only ever parodied these days because of Values Dissonance.

Jan 9th 2015 at 12:40:52 PM

The word 'Submissive' just makes this seem like some sort of S&M play, honestly...

Jan 9th 2015 at 5:02:47 PM

^ know that submissive is a general term that is not confined to just BDSM.

Jan 10th 2015 at 5:14:48 AM

^ I know it is, but that doesn't change the initial impression. It's just that when the "Housekeeper" offers her choices, it is not like she's doing them because she is submissive.

Jan 10th 2015 at 11:51:50 AM

^ it's about how women like these are obedient and subservient to their husbands, i.e submissive.

Jan 10th 2015 at 12:21:34 PM

^Which, let's face it, is wrapped up in sex and Fetish. From what I gather from the trope list—this appears to be an exclusively anime trope, pretty much—it is in fact done in anime as Fetish Fuel.

Coffee Tea Or Me is a much better name.

Jan 10th 2015 at 3:46:27 PM

^ you'll expect this a lot from anime, yeah, but this isn't really an anime trope so much as a Japanese culture trope.

And your title sounds like a phrase, dunno

Jan 10th 2015 at 6:00:36 PM

^ Maybe so, but the name for this trope as it is, is just atrociously bad.

Jan 11th 2015 at 10:29:35 AM

The current panel for Insulted Awake discusses this trope.

moi
Jan 11th 2015 at 11:37:35 AM

I have seen this parodied in some visual novels. Sumiyoshi uses this line to the male protagonist as a joke in Snow Sakura.

Jul 24th 2015 at 9:12:06 AM

Submissive Housekeeper Offers Choices sounds clunky, and it's not apparent what the choices are from the title. Also, is it always a housekeeper? As for Bath Dinner Or Me and Coffee Tea Or Me, they sound like stock phrases.

I'd suggest something along the lines of Bath Dinner Or Sex Offer or Bath Dinner Or Sex Suggestion or Bath Dinner Or Sex Choice or just Bath Dinner Or Sex (maybe with a "?" at the end).

Jul 26th 2015 at 8:50:41 AM

Radio

  • Subverted in a sketch written by Douglas Adams for The Burkiss Way. Ghenghiz Khan, at the end of a hard day's pillaging, finds a house with three women in it who are completely at his mercy. Ghenghis is exasperated when they offer him what they think he wants. He has to patiently explain what will fulfil his needs, and the quickest learner begins to nag, berate and browbeat him as if he is an errant husband arriving late from the office. The mighty ruler of the fates of millions sighs contentedly and relaxes....

Mar 26th 2016 at 4:50:40 AM

In original Japanese this is called "Shinkon Santaku" (Newlyweds 3 Choices).

Maybe use either of them for the title?

Apr 7th 2016 at 1:37:01 PM

MUSIC /LIVE ACTION TV

  • Subverted in this Not The Nine O Clock News parody of Sheena Easton's 1981` hit, "Morning Train". In which grumpy tired husband Rowan Atkinson arrives home to his wife "Sheena Easton" only for her to burst into song at him about what a good wife she is. (The My Baby Takes The Morning Train song). Rowan Atkinson cannot help but strangle her.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxDKXZFwi9s&nohtml5=False

Apr 7th 2016 at 10:18:59 AM

I suggest dismissing the "Submissive Housekeeper" part from the title; keep it succinct and focus on the choice itself.

Manga:

http://www.mangahere.co/manga/mahou_shoujo_madoka_magica_the_different_story/c001/3.html

Apr 6th 2016 at 11:51:47 PM

Often in Japanese, the telltale word for this trope is "soretomo..." (or instead...)

Apr 8th 2016 at 1:30:36 PM

For another title proposition, how about "Sustenance, Shower, or Sex" for Added Alliterative Appeal?

May 16th 2016 at 7:01:52 AM

There is a variation on this in the "My Castle" option in Fire Emblem Fates

May 16th 2016 at 7:04:03 AM

A variant of this in Fire Emblem Fates from the player's maid, Felicia.

Felicia: Welcome home! Can I get you something? ... Oh! You wanted me instead?

Jul 21st 2016 at 1:57:03 PM

Is this trope mainly a Japanese one?

Jul 21st 2016 at 6:20:30 PM

^ if you say "mainly" then yes.

  • Kantai Collection: one of Houshou's secretary lines is this, as befits her motherly personality.
    Welcome back, Admiral. Do you want a meal? Bath? Or... Just kidding, really.

Apr 17th 2017 at 12:17:21 PM

tropeworthy, but needs work. Suggest having "Soretomo" (with or without '...' on the end) as the name, with the current title as a redirect.

May 8th 2017 at 10:50:40 PM

Yeah, strictly parody/comedy tropes exist.

May 9th 2017 at 12:56:12 AM

  • Alluded to during one of Aoi's freetime events in Danganronpa. Aoi asks Makoto to pretend to be her boyfriend. She proceeds to then pretend he just got home from work, and asks him if he wants dinner or a bath. Makoto cuts her off before she can say more and says that sounds more like something a 1950's Housewife would say than a girlfriend.

Aug 27th 2017 at 8:35:52 PM

Is this YKTTW glitched? I tried to fix the red links but they're not saving,

Aug 27th 2017 at 10:14:00 PM

The second chapter of Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid: Kanna's Daily Life opens with Tohru asking Kobayashi if she wants " a maid, a dragon, or her". Kobayashi points out that none of those are real options.

Aug 28th 2017 at 2:45:27 AM

^^ Yes. This proposal is suffering from a standard TLP glitch of changes to the OP not being saved.

Sep 26th 2017 at 9:39:13 PM

^ So should it be launched and fixed then or should a new YKTTW be made?

Jan 18th 2018 at 6:36:16 PM

This is done in the second season of Overlord.

Jan 18th 2018 at 6:37:19 PM

^^^ - So, are edits possible now? And who's grabbing this? 'Cause IIRC, Dan 004 was banned?

May 19th 2018 at 1:16:12 AM

So what's the status on this one? Someone taking it over?

May 19th 2018 at 3:07:46 AM

If this is indeed mainly a Japanese custom, let's just go ahead and call this with its Japanese name.

May 19th 2018 at 6:15:13 AM

Food, Shower, Sex Offer...

May 19th 2018 at 9:19:40 AM

This is not a trope, it's a weird fetish sex thing, and it should be discarded.

May 19th 2018 at 2:40:45 PM

^ but it is used in media with narrative applications.

May 19th 2018 at 4:34:13 PM

There seem to be four ways this is used:

I don't think I've ever seen it done by an actual housewife, and I've never seen anyone accept the offer. In any case only the second variant is submissive (and even then, they're taking the lead), so no way should submissive be in the title.

May 19th 2018 at 5:49:25 PM

^ traditionally it is submissive, but nowadays it's parodied a lot. I.e Dead Horse Trope.

May 19th 2018 at 8:12:37 PM

Boy, what a lot of arguing this draft has generated. ^^ Prime 32 might be on to something here, maybe soft-split the examples according to intent?

Jul 10th 2018 at 7:04:59 AM

In the Nippon Ichi Software title Zettai Hero Project, the NPC assigned to the "Home" facility in the base will say this line.

Jul 10th 2018 at 4:31:34 PM

As others have mentioned, I think this is tropable if the trope primarily focuses on the Dead Horse Trope aspect (due to the Values Dissonance) which is why most of the examples (outside weird fetish works) are parodies and not straight examples.

edit I thought tvtropes had rules against tropes that primarily showed up in hentai or ecchi?

Jul 11th 2018 at 3:37:04 AM

Overlord 2012: Albedo pulls this on Ainz (clearly hoping for the third one), before realizing she forgot to do so wearing only an apron and begs for Ainz' forgiveness. As Ainz is a walking skeleton and thus incapable of reciprocating, it makes no difference to him either way. The fact that he unintentionally rewrote her settings to be this way towards him is also a factor in his not wanting to take advantage of her).

Jul 13th 2018 at 6:21:59 AM

  • In Kono Suba, one member of the Axis Cult does this to troll Kazuma, asking "Are you here for conversion? Baptism? Or are you here for me?" Kazuma is dumbfounded before she laughs and tells him she was joking, while Kazuma rages on the inside and wishes he could punch her.

Jan 6th 2019 at 4:41:40 PM

  • In Ensemble Stars, Hinata jokingly says this to Tetora as a welcome, just as part of him being overly outgoing and audacious. (Tetora basically ignores him.)
  • In Sono Hanabira ni Kuchizuke wo Mai fantasises about she and Reo living together, imagining coming home and Reo saying that to her at the door; Reo is incredibly embarrassed and demands she not imagine her that way.
  • In a Puella Magi Madoka Magica spin-off manga, the second page features Homura wondering if they wouldn't gain more fans if they changed the story into a rom-com starring her and Madoka. The manga then cuts to Homura, wearing a business suit, coming home to a friendly Madoka who asks if she wants to have dinner or a bath first. Homura immediately declares that she actually wants her.

As for the tropiness: the idea of the phrase it's that it's a fantasy wish fulfillment scenario of a 'perfect wife.' Thus the varied examples - it can be said legit by a character trying to be a perfect partner, it can be part of a character's fantasy of what they want someone else to do to them, or it could be parodied in various ways, e.g. by having a character try saying this to someone who is not the least bit tempted or interested. They're not different tropes, they're just different ways of playing with the same trope.

And I like either Offer Of Dinner Bath Or Sex or Newlyweds Three Choices the best.

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