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1[[WMG: There is an ending to this game.]]
2You just haven't played long enough, you quitter.
3
4[[WMG: The game is a CosmicHorrorStory, and the unicorns are trying to save the world.]]
5The fairy denizens of the SugarBowl world live in relative peace, but among them are cultists of a [[Franchise/CthulhuMythos Cthulhu-like]] EldritchAbomination that exists in a nightmarish [[PocketDimension parasite dimension]] which occupies the same physical space as their homeworld. These cultists have begun a dark ritual to [[TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt unleash their master upon the universe.]] Desperate to prevent the creature from escaping, the fairies built two {{cyborg}} protectors: the Robot Unicorn (Ru) and the Heavy Metal Unicorn (Hem). Ru remained on the homeworld, while Hem was transported to the other dimension [[ClothingDamage (burning off his immaculate veneer]] and [[GameFace revealing his metal workings).]] The two have since gone about destroying the stars (dimensional anchors tethering the parasite universe to their own) from both sides of the portal, weakening the Abomination's tenuous grasp on the homeworld. Ru plays hopeful music to inspire the populace as she gathers fairy refugees, while Hem plays heavy metal to pump himself up and strike fear into the hearts of his tiny, fluttering opponents. Dolphins squeal to encourage Ru as she retakes the homeworld. Skeletal denizens of the parasite dimension scream in terror as they flee Hem's wrath.
6
7Knowing that their position is weak and that Ru and Hem could utterly undo them, the fairy cultists began tapping the power of the Abomination to broadcast psychic propaganda to the equine heroes. In the homeworld, Ru is told to forget her mission and abandon her makers in order to follow her own dreams. In the parasite dimension, where the Abomination's power is stronger, Hem is taunted with promises of unending horror. Both are constantly shown visions of their own destruction, reinforced by messages of failure and futility. Dauntless, they continue to fight, [[EarnYourHappyEnding severing the link between the two dimensions so the homeworld can once again live in peace.]]
8** That is the most epic story ever. Two thumbs up, troper.
9
10[[WMG: The world is ending and the robot unicorns' wish is to survive.]]
11The robot unicorn and dolphins and fairies are all moving as fast as they can in the same direction. Stars are falling from the sky. They are clearly running away from some cataclysmic event. The title, Robot Unicorn Attack, is not referring to an attack ''by'' the robot unicorns but ''upon'' them.
12
13The robot unicorn has been granted three wishes. The force granting his wishes is not so omnipotent as to grant him immortality, so when the robot unicorn wishes to survive he is not granted a guarantee but an opportunity. When the robot unicorn eventually collides with something his head is blown off. In his last ten seconds of consciousness he wishes for another chance to survive. Unfortunately, [[YouCantFightFate He Can't Fight Fate]].
14
15The quotes at the beginning are from the wish-granter. Sometimes they are words of encouragement like "Over the rainbow!" Other times something more pessimistic such as "A fiery death awaits you."
16There are multiple quotes, which likely implies more than one set of robot unicorn and wish-granter. The quote by one "Robot Unicorns Unite!" further implies this.
17
18The theme song is from the perspective of the robot unicorn.
19
20"Open your eyes. I see your eyes are open. Wear no disguise for me; come into the open."
21This is directed at the fairies. Because they fly so slowly, their only chance of survival is to accept the robot unicorn's aid.
22
23"When it's cold outside, am I here in vain? Hold onto the night! There will be no shame!"
24The robot unicorn doubts his ability to save himself and the fairies. But he strengthens his resolve.
25
26"Always, I want to be with you and make believe with you and live in harmony, harmony, oh love..."
27The robot unicorn wishes to live peacefully with his loved ones. Not only for the present but "always." Despite the world ending around them, he is driven by the desire always to be with them and make believe with them and live in harmony.
28
29"Melting the ice for me, jump into the ocean. Hold back the tide, I see your love in motion."
30The unicorn is now referring to the dolphins. He needs their show of encouragement in order to press on, lest the cold sense of dread completely overwhelm him.
31
32Furthermore, the title of the song is Always, reinforcing the robot unicorn’s desire to live. Unfortunately, the song is performed by the group Erasure, root word being “erase,” reminding us of the fate of the world and its robot unicorn, fairy, and dolphin inhabitants.
33
34[[WMG: Your unicorn is [[Webcomic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja Sparklelord]].]]
35This is before he began a war on all things radical; an origin story, if you will. His original mission was to bring harmony harmony oh love~ to all the land, but his idealism was shattered when he ran into walls too much, and declared an attack on his world.
36
37[[WMG: This game is VideoGame/{{Eversion}} X-9.]]
38After descending into Lovecraftian nightmarishness, the eversion process loops around to a [[SugarBowl beautiful utopian world]]. [[spoiler:Unfortunately, [[CrapsaccharineWorld this is only an illusion of happiness]]; in this world, the gems are lost for good, Zee Tee [[BodyHorror mutates into a unicorn]], and [[AndIMustScream is trapped eternally, doomed to spend the rest of his days running progressively faster and faster until he runs into walls and dies]]. A FIERY DEATH [[RougeAnglesOfSatin AWATES]] YOU!!]]
39
40[[WMG: The Unicorn is a [[TheMourningAfter widower]] who can't say goodbye.]]
41* His unicorn-girlfriend died and that's the reason for his rainbow-y rampage. His "wish" is to bring her back, with "Always" going through his head over and over again because it was their song, and because really, that's all he wants...to be together with her again and "live in harmony harmony oh love." [[FailureIsTheOnlyOption Unfortunately...]]
42** [[TearJerker This really makes me want to cry]]
43*** Adding to the above, his lost love is the Heavy Metal Unicorn who is trapped in hell but still tries very hard to escape so she can be reunited.
44
45[[WMG: The Unicorn's Wish is to become real.]]
46And a kindly fairy has agreed to grant it. All he has to do is prove that he can survive doing what real unicorns do. Until he can stop breaking down, though, he's doomed to be eternally broken and rebuilt, forever chasing his dream.
47* For every time someone wins the game, one (1) unicorn will be granted corporeal existence in our world.
48
49[[WMG: It's a subtle metaphor about growing up.]]
50You see, the entire world of this game is surreal and fantastic. Unicorns, super-advanced robotics, fairies, dolphins out of water keeping you company, rainbows and happiness. This is the idealistic mind of a child, where the world is an amazing place with everything you could want. The game encourages you to achieve your dreams, and when we were young we had huge, fantastic dreams like becoming a superhero. ''This is impossible'' in the real world! So as we transverse this beautiful, idyllic world, we think of our old kiddy dreams until we inevitably fail. This makes us sad, like when we realised we could never achieve what we want to when we were young. So our dreams become smaller, realistic and more reasonable, and though we may never win the game due to it representing our childhood, we can and will reach our more realistic goals. This is represented by how the unicorn, a fantastic creature, is rendered robotic (a more realistic outcome).
51
52[[WMG: The game is what happens when you make a wish.]]
53It's presented backwards. Instead of chasing dreams, the unicorn is delivering them. Or at least trying to. We know full well that the way is dangerous, and few, if any, wishes are actually delivered, which is why so few seem to be granted. Your wishes aren't ignored, they just don't make it to you.
54* The farther the unicorn gets, the better the wish comes true. You know, wish for more time for your terminally ill mother? If RU crashes at 589 points, then enjoy those 4 extra minutes. Wish for true love? If RU gets past 50,000 points, you will meet a really nice person somewhere in the next five years. Always remember, when making a wish, that it can never become perfectly true: at some point, life realities (the ground), loss of faith (falling down) or conflicting wishes (stars) will make short of the progress.
55
56[[WMG: The Robot Unicorn from the standard game and the one from the new HeavyMetal Edition are lovers.]]
57The Robot Unicorn race is engaged in several wars, Robot Unicorn (hereafter referred to Ru) was made a prisoner of war by their FairFolk enemies, and Heavy Metal Unicorn (let's go with Hun for this one) was imprisoned by demons. In the main game there are three "Wishes," Ru's wish is to escape and find Hun. In the Heavy Metal Edition you have three "Nightmares" instead, Hun's nightmare is being kept away from Ru while Ru is in trouble. Both are trying to break free of their captors so they can find each other, but no matter how hard they try they can't quite do it.
58
59[[WMG: Maybe it's about a transsexual coming out of the closet?]]
60
61The robot unicorn is a bizarre mix of masculine (mechanical, super-athletic) and feminine (magical, sparkly) traits. Perhaps it is all [[EveryoneIsJesusInPurgatory a metaphor]] for a teenage boy who believes he was born in the wrong gender. All day, every day, he runs from persecution and death, wishing with all his might to become the woman he always dreamed of. He no longer wants to wear a disguise, and he refuses to feel shame. He will jump head-on into the ocean, taking all the help he can get and smashing all the obstacles in his way.
62* It could just as easily be a female-to-male transsexual: The athleticism and muscles are her attempt to gain a masculine bodyform and participate in/be accepted through masculine sports, while the cyborg nature could indicate other traditionally-male pastimes or hobbies such as a mechanic job. However, society insists on seeing her as a parody of a male or as a lesbian (the sparkles, glitter, pastiche theme tune) rather than a man; the running is trying to keep ahead of their derision because if she stops the hate/mockery will get to her and she'll despair, unable to move forward.
63
64[[WMG: The song "Always" is being sung by the game to the player]]
65
66Because you look into the light and see that this is a great game. There can be no shame because even though the concept is pretty silly and ridiculous, you know you want to keep on playing. RUA always wants to be with you, make believe with you, and together you will play in harmony, harmony, oh love!
67* Is RUA a ManipulativeBastard whose motive for keeping us playing is somehow connected to world dominion? Or [[IJustWantToHaveFriends is it just lonely]]?
68
69[[WMG: The game is a Buddhist proverb in software form.]]
70
71It's all about life. There is no pause button, and once you start you can't stop, slow down, or go back. It's an endless forward movement through trials and struggles. Trials and struggles (stars and jumps) that also happen to be opportunities and the whole fun/point of the game. Life is suffering. If you fall off the path, you are given the opportunity to begin again twice... And after the inevitable death comes, you have the opportunity to play again. To become reincarnated.
72The game records each life's points (karma) and weighs them against the others.
73If you choose to not play again and leave the game... You have achieved Nirvana. Congratulations
74
75[[WMG: The game is literally just a dream.]]
76You're a robot unicorn in a rainbow fantasy land capturing pixies and destroying stars -- that bit's easily explained by dream logic -- complete nonsense if said out loud but makes perfect sense if you're in the middle of it. Looking deeper, despite the fact that you are in a clear magical fantasy land starring as a mythological creature, you are still a ''robot'' -- a mechanical being, the dream world's way of letting reality poke in to remind you that this is just a dream and that the real world is driven by technology. The longer you play, the longer you sleep. The song is your alarm clock (specifically, an alarm clock with either a radio or an iPod / mp3 player attachment) playing a eighties/nineties pop radio station or playlist intruding on your dream trying to wake you up; however, the qualities of the song have woven into your dream to form the soundtrack. You can 'keep chasing that dream' to sleep longer, and your three 'wishes' are the three times you let yourself push the snooze button to let the dream last longer -- and alternatively, you might keep pressing it to 'play' (dream) longer -- but 'persistence is useless' because you gotta wake up and face the day sooner or later. Finally, one of the ways you die is by falling -- how many people have dreams of falling?
77
78[[WMG: The unicorn is singing Always]]
79Because it's a female unicorn who wants to be together with her mate, but he's the unicorn in the Heavy Metal Edition and thus they're forever separated.
80
81[[WMG: The unicorns are dead.]]
82The one in the original is in Purgatory. The one in Heavy Metal Edition is in Hell.
83
84[[WMG: The heavy metal unicorn [[SamusIsAGirl is a girl]].]]
85There's no evidence to suggest otherwise, and the Rainbow Unicorn is implied to be [[CampGay male]].
86
87[[WMG: The score count is a countdown.]]
88In a manner of speaking. It's a count-up actually. One faithful game is going to be the game that decides the fate of the world and decides how many time increments the world gets to exist. Unfortunately, we don't know if it's years, generations, or even seconds. [[ParanoiaFuel Hope you got a high score.]]
89
90[[WMG: The games meet in the middle.]]
91 The Heavy Metal Unicorn and the Robot Unicorn are in fact running in opposite directions as seen from other sides, towards one another. The game can never end because the meeting of the two unicorns will signal the end of the world - HMU, spurned by RU due to his preference for other stallions, is determined to strike RU down and thus condemn the people of the living world to an eternity of nightmares and insomnia populated only by the souls of the damned and their terrible screams. She sold her soul to Hell and is undergoing rigorous training until she can run far enough to meet RU, and then... And this is why they cry when defeated; each time they begin the cycle again, the other has a chance to catch up and destroy them.
92
93[[WMG: The Robot Unicorn is [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIII Odin]].]]
94
95Whenever the unicorn hits a star, he gets transported to the world of FFXIII with his horn broken off, which is why Odin is a robot ''horse'' instead of a robot ''unicorn''. And Odin can transform into a man because Lightning's smashed her crystal so many times that he went all the way up the evolution chain to human form.
96
97[[WMG: There will be a "Deluxe" version of ''Evolution'' up for reatil/Steam download eventually]]
98The developers will eventually develop a full downloadable of the game, with full HD polygonal graphics and massive SceneryPorn. This version will retain the RPGElements of the Facebook version of ''Evolution'' with even more {{Power-Up}}s. You can also switch between the "normal" version and "Heavy Metal" version at the press of a button.
99
100[[WMG: The robot unicorn is an [[Film/{{Avatar}} avatar]]]]
101The robot unicorn is, despite surface appearances, completely out of place in the fantastical world she-or-he has found him-or-herself in, a mechanical being in a world of pure fantasy. That is because the unicorn is actually a robot probe of a technological / science-based civilization that has encountered a world / universe that operates according to magical, fantasy-based rules and is trying to invade / exploit it. It's disguised as a unicorn to blend in with its surroundings and prevent the inhabitants of that world from noticing it, and has been sent there to harvest the fairies (and the valuable magical energy they generate) and destroy the stars that create the forcefield that prevents the invaders from landing ''en mass''.
102
103[[WMG: This is what [[VideoGame/TeamFortress2 The Scout]] experiences every time he dies]]
104No wonder rainbows make him cry.
105----

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