Line #41 Quotes/YouNeedToGetLaid


1	[[foldercontrol]]
2
3	[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
4	->''"I really didn't come here looking to fight you... but if it's some [[UnusualEuphemism one-on-one]] you want, I hear you have a ''great'' red light district."''
5	-->-- '''Maeda Keiji''', ''VideoGame/SengokuBasara'' anime
6	[[/folder]]
7
8	[[folder:Fan Works]]
9	->'''Jubilee:''' I mean, even if Scott and Jean have been having sex all this time, I don’t see how it hurts anybody. Hell, I can see some benefits to it!
10	->'''Bobby:''' Yeah, maybe that was why they were so uptight to begin with! They just needed to get laid!
11	-->-- ''[[https://xmen.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=544207779 My Friend, My Lover]]''
12
13	->And so Fire Lord Sozin was left with a harem containing nothing but oversized pillows. \
14	A week later he had drawn up a first draft of plans to conquer the world.
15	-->-- ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5146116/109/The-Ember-Island-Lighthouse-A-Beacon-of-Insanity The Ember Island Lighthouse: A Beacon of Insanity]]'' fic
16
17	->''"Well, His Majesty knows because it happened on Avalon, and therefore he knows about it. And what he said and your reactions made it easy for me to figure it out. Congratulations, by the way. You both look so damn happy I’m envious all over again. You two both needed last night, I think. You’re practically glowing, and giving off a cloud of very specific pheromones so powerful I’m practically getting a contact high from standing downwind of you. Every Imperial here is going to be able to tell because of things like that. There’s also the hundred subtle cues of posture, facial expression, and body language that tell say, trained psychiatrists, for example, that things between you two are different from yesterday."''
18	-->-- '''Ching''', ''Fanfic/ACrownOfStars'', ''chapter 43''
19
20	->"What do you think you're doing?" sputtered Captain Janeway. "I mean what do I think I'm doing? I mean...you know what I mean! This is a direct violation of the Temporal Prime Directive!"\
21	"Prime, schmime," scoffed [[MyFutureSelfAndMe Admiral Janeway]]. "Federation parameters, Starfleet regulations...I went [[CelibateHero 23 years without sex]] because of that rubbish, and look what it's done to me!" she shouted, indicating her white hair. "Well I'm going to change things. Kathryn, I want you to have sex with Chakotay. Hell, have sex with anybody! Just stop being such a sanctimonious bitch and GET LAID!"
22	-->-- ''The Alternate Factor'', a ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'' ParodyFic
23
24	->'''[[PornNames The Dicktor]]:''' Captain Analway, I must speak to you on a matter crucial to the future of this ship! Need I remind you that it has been seven years since the USS ''Voyorgy'' was stranded in the Dildo Quadrant, and you ''still'' haven't addressed the [[GenerationShips all-important subject of reproduction]]?
25	->'''Captain Analway:''' Reproduction? [[CelibateHero You mean...er...sex?]]
26	->'''The Dicktor:''' Yes, sex. Sex! ''SSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEX!'' The entire crew needs to have lots and lots of sex!
27	->'''Captain Analway:''' Dicktor, you know perfectly well that's contrary to regulations. Sex on Suxfleet vessels has been banned since the [[Series/StarTrekEnterprise Trip/T'Pol Neuropressure Scandal of 2153]] damaged Human/Vulcan relations for over a hundred years.
28	->'''The Dicktor:''' That didn't stop [[Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries Captain Kirk]] from [[BoldlyComing shagging everything in sight!]]
29	->'''Captain Analway:''' Yes, and look at the results! We're 70,000 light years from Earth, yet every week we run into [[HumanAliens human-looking aliens!]]
30	-->-- ''Hardcore Entertainment presents: 'Seven Does [[Series/StarTrekVoyager Voyager]]' ''
31
32	->'''Jakuzure:''' You installed circular saw traps to stop anyone climbing the walls of our high school.\
33	'''Sanageyama:''' And homing missiles.\
34	'''Inumuta:''' I was also going to get the Director's approval to modify the REVOCS comms satellite above the school into an orbital railgun, but Lady Satsuki vetoed it.\
35	'''Gamagoori:''' Inumuta, I say this purely in the spirit of friendship, and as one of your oldest and most loyal allies, but... you really need to get a girlfriend.
36	-->-- ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10223144/1/The-Great-Honn%C5%8Dji-Academy-Coup The Great Honnoji Academy Coup]]''
37
38	[[/folder]]
39
40	[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]
41	->'''Jack''': Who makes all these [swords]?\
42	'''Will''': I do! And I practice with them three hours a day!\
43	'''Jack''': You need to find yourself a girl, mate.
44	-->-- ''Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanTheCurseOfTheBlackPearl''
45
46	->''"No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."''
47	-->-- '''Rhett Butler''', ''Film/GoneWithTheWind''
48
49	->''"When I first met Jack, he told me to keep my snake in its cage for 72 hours. I think somebody's been keeping their snake in its cage for the past 30 years!"''
50	-->-- '''Greg Focker''', ''[[Film/MeetTheParents Little Fockers]]''
51
52	->'''Woman Journalist:''' Tell me, Mr. Bowman, in your opinion do these men climb to prove their manhood, or is it more a matter of [[CompensatingForSomething compensating for inferiority feelings]]?
53	->'''Ben Bowman:''' Lady, why don't you go get yourself screwed? It would do you a lot of good.
54	-->-- ''Film/TheEigerSanction'' (1975)
55
56	[[/folder]]
57
58	[[folder:Literature]]
59	->There was spring, a man's love, his heat and his strength, his smell, the joy of taking and being taken, everything you don't know, that you're dying to know and never will. You must not be attractive in bed if your husband prefers boys.
60	-->-- '''Marguerite de Bourgogne''' to Isabelle de France (her sister-in-law, married to the homosexual Edward II of England), ''Literature/TheAccursedKings''
61
62	->''"You don't have any place to channel all that adolescent frustration boiling inside you. Isn't that what's really fueling all this impulsive behaviour? Snap out of it. Go find yourself a good-looking guy and let him walk you home from school. Heck, go see a movie with him on Sunday or something."''
63	-->-- '''Kyon''', ''Literature/HaruhiSuzumiya''
64
65	->''"Still, a man like you and it's been ''four years''. I have immense personal respect for you, wizard, but that's just....sad."''
66	-->-- '''Lara Raith''', ''Literature/WhiteNight''
67
68	->''"Life is short. If you have not made love recently, please, put down this book, and take care of that with all haste. Find a wanton lass or a frisky lad, or several, in whatever combination your wise loins direct, and do not under any circumstances play hard to get. Our struggle against the colossal forces of oppression can wait."''
69	->''[{{Beat}}]''
70	->''"Good. Welcome back."''
71	--> -- ''[[Literature/TheElderScrollsInUniverseBooks Ahzirr Traajijazeri]]''
72
73	-> ''"Honey, you need to get laid."''
74	-> ''"Why don't you speak a little louder, Lanie?" she whispered. "I don't think the guys in Canada were able to hear you."''
75	-> ''"Oh, I don't know," the gorgeous brown-haired waiter said as he stopped by their table. "They're probably headed south even as we speak."''
76	-->-- ''[[Literature/TheDarkHunters Fantasy Lover]]''
77	[[/folder]]
78
79	[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
80	->'''Marshall:''' My professor's like the toughest grader I've ever seen. She got, like, a bad divorce this summer and she's taking it out on us. To tell you the truth, I think she just needs to get laid.\
81	'''[[TheCasanova Barney]]:''' Really? Laid, you say?
82	-->-- ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'', "[[Recap/HowIMetYourMotherS2E06AldrinJustice Aldrin Justice]]"
83
84	->'''Rosa:''' C'mon, sir, the math thing isn't the problem. Night shift's keeping you and Kevin apart. You two just need to bone.\
85	''(Amy makes an OhCrap face)''\
86	'''Holt:''' ...what did you say?\
87	'''Amy:''' Don't say it again!\
88	'''Rosa:''' I said you two need to bone.\
89	''({{Beat}} as Amy closes her eyes and [[ThisIsGonnaSuck braces herself for the inevitable]])''\
90	'''Holt:''' Hooooooww dare you, Detective Diaz? I am your SUPERIOR OFFICER!\
91	''(five minutes later)''\
92	'''Holt:''' ''(in the doorway of his office)'' BOOOOOOONE?!?!?!\
93	''(ten minutes later)''\
94	'''Holt:''' ''(back next to Diaz's and Santiago's desks)'' What happens in my bedroom, Detective, is none of your business.\
95	''(21 minutes later)''\
96	'''Holt:''' ''(once again in the doorway of his office)'' BOOOOOOOONE?!?!?!?!\
97	''(40 minutes later)''\
98	'''Holt:''' ''(calmly, in front of Diaz and Santiago)'' Don't ever speak to me like that ever again. ''(walks back to his office)''\
99	'''Amy:''' ''(faintly)'' Why did you do that?\
100	'''Rosa:''' Dude was pent up. Now he knows. Problem solved.
101	-->-- ''Series/BrooklynNineNine'', "Skyfire Cycle"
102
103	->'''Kochanski:''' Rimmer?
104	->'''Rimmer:''' Yes Ma'am?
105	->'''Kochanski:''' Have sex with someone, and that's an order.
106	->'''Rimmer:''' Yes Ma'am, right away.
107	->'''Lister:''' ''(Handing Rimmer a business card)'' Here, ring this number, say I sent you, tell them it's an emergency.
108	-->-- ''Series/RedDwarf''
109
110	->''"Connor, you should get out more. Go to a bar, meet a nice girl, life will seem a whole lot less confusing to you then."''
111	-->-- '''Nick Cutter''', ''{{Series/Primeval}}''
112
113	->''"Ninety-nine percent of the trouble in the world is caused by unmarried men."''
114	-->-- '''Schulz''', ''[[Series/HogansHeroes Duel of Honor]]''
115
116	->'''The Eleventh Doctor:''' ''(fending off an amorous Amy Pond)'' [[ReallySevenhundredYearsOld I'm 907 years old]]! Do you understand what that means?!\
117	'''Amy:''' It's been a while? \
118	'''The Eleventh Doctor:''' Ye--No, no, ''no!''
119	-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "Flesh and Stone"
120	[[/folder]]
121
122	[[folder:Music]]
123	->''I went to a shrink\
124	To analyze my dreams\
125	She says it's lack of sex that's bringing me down''
126	-->-- '''Music/GreenDay''', "Basket Case"
127
128	->''Having sex can make a nice man out of the meanest!''
129	-->-- '''Music/TheLonelyIsland''', "I Just Had Sex"
130	[[/folder]]
131
132	[[folder:Video Games]]
133	->'''ComicBook/DoctorFate:''' Order shall prevail!
134	->'''ComicBook/GreenArrow:''' You ''really'' need to get laid.
135	-->-- ''VideoGame/Injustice2''
136	[[/folder]]
137
138	[[folder:Web Original]]
139	->This led directly into a new ''Uncanny ComicBook/XMen'', with ComicBook/{{Cyclops}} the mutant revolutionary rock star at its center. In a little over a decade, Scott Summers went from boring boy scout to jaw-dropping, unapologetic cover boy. All it took was a little kinky sex.
140	-->-- '''Rowan Kaiser''' [[https://medium.com/@RowanKaiser/how-i-learned-to-love-cyclops-and-his-sexy-sexy-butt-9bf878290bae#.9p7oyrv5m summing up]] Cyclops' post-2000s characterization
141
142	->''#228. I cannot use my time machine to hire Hitler a hooker in 1920, thus avoiding UsefulNotes/{{WW2}}.''
143	-->--'''[[http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html 1975 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG]]'''
144
145	->''It's hard not to look all [[InvadedStatesOfAmerica all these war games about Russia invading America]] and not be reminded of fan-fiction. America is a fat teenage virgin lying on her front on her bed staring up at her [[Literature/TheTwilightSaga Edward and Bella]] poster while crossing and uncrossing her ankles and dreamily writing creepy stories about having filthy monkey sex with the quiet Eastern European boy down the road. And the child psychologist hired by her concerned parents gives the following advice: "What this girl needs is a good hard dicking!"
146	-->-- '''Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw''', ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'', "Review of ''VideoGame/CallOfDutyBlackOps''"
147
148	->''"Note from Dr. ██████████: I believe I know where all our bandwidth is going at night. Agent ████'s computer privileges should be limited until he either finds a girlfriend or learns some self-control."''
149	-->--''Website/SCPFoundation''
150	[[/folder]]
151
152	[[folder:Web Video]]
153	->''"That Kaiba kid needs to get laid."''
154	-->-- '''Many, ''[[RunningGag many]]'' people''', ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries''
155
156	->'''Lady Macbeth:''' My plan ''will'' work! Macbeth just needs to screw his courage to his sticking place!
157	->'''Sassy Gay Friend:''' No. [[DeadpanSnarker He needs to screw his courage to]] ''[[DeadpanSnarker your]]'' [[DoubleEntendre sticking place.]]
158	->'''Lady Macbeth:''' ''(gasps)''
159	->'''Sassy Gay Friend:''' Yeah. I said it. Because, sister, you need a hobby or an orgasm, ''stat''.
160	-->-- ''WebVideo/SassyGayFriend: Theatre/{{Macbeth}}''
161
162	->''"Ah, my favourite; the old 'You need to get laid'. Because, apparently, I've never had sex, and ''only'' people who had sex like poorly, lazily produced pop music. If I had known that, I would've never ever had sex in my life, but luckily, 'stupid' is not a sexually-transmitted disease, and I'm fine. I find this argument usually comes from people who are virgins themselves; people who believe 'sex solves ''everything''', because if they ever had sex, they know that it doesn't change the way you perceive music, movies, TV shows, sports, or anything else people like to use this argument for."''
163	-->-- '''[[WebVideo/ADoseOfBuckley Buckley]]''' explaining why this is [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=op4kRRd9YbY not a valid argument for disagreeing with his worst song picks]].
164
165	-> ''"[[SelfDeprecation I need some puss, that's what I need. I need some puss BAD.]]"''
166	-->-- '''[[WebVideo/{{Vinesauce}} Joel]]''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXVDKW-HpPM&t=6395s after ranting about anime]]
167	[[/folder]]
168
169	[[folder:Webcomics]]
170	->''"On the other hand, maybe [[CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot all of this could have been avoided]] if you had just managed to get laid once in a while. You can't even tell me you'd be this tightly wound if you were receiving [[UnusualEuphemism Treasure Type O]] regularly."''
171	-->-- '''Roy Greenhilt''', ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'', to '''Miko Miyazaki''' following her fall
172
173	->'''Trent:''' Y'know Max, I don't always agree with your "sex-fixes-everything" stance, but in this case... yeah, holy fuck, [Gina] needs to get laid.\
174	'''Max''' FINALLY. YES. THANK YOU.
175	-->-- ''Webcomic/LeftoverSoup'', [[http://www.leftoversoup.com/archive.php?num=673 "What does Gina need?"]]
176	[[/folder]]
177
178	[[folder:Western Animation]]
179	->''"Go ahead and try to hit me if you're able,\
180	Can't you see that my relationship is stable?\
181	I can see you hate the way we intermingle,\
182	But I think that you're just mad because you're single."''
183	-->--'''Garnet''', singing "Stronger Than You", ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse'', "Jailbreak"
184	[[/folder]]

Context Quotes / YouNeedToGetLaid