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1[[foldercontrol]]
2!!!Fiction
3[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
4->''"Are you really more worried about your bangs than your panties?"''
5-->-- '''Rentarou''' to [[ShrinkingViolet Meme]], ''Manga/The100GirlfriendsWhoReallyReallyReallyReallyReallyLoveYou'' (Chapter 45)
6
7->''"Cough up the tits! '''Those're mine!!'''"''
8-->-- '''Denji''' going out of his way to save Power and Meowy, ''Manga/ChainsawMan''
9
10->'''Girl:''' Are my father and little brother dead too?\
11'''Hiro:''' What does that matter? We were talking about ''Manga/OnePiece''.
12-->--''Manga/{{Inuyashiki}}''
13[[/folder]]
14
15[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
16->''"We got a madman running around the city and you're talking to your wife about a fuckin' barbeque!"''
17-->--'''Sergeant Connor''', ''Film/FiveFiveFive''
18
19->''"Our father was having gay sex with a guy who could fit in his pocket... and you're mad 'cause he's white?"''
20-->--'''Aaron''', ''Film/DeathAtAFuneral''
21
22->''"Whoa, wait. You decided that you wanted to help us, and then you went and applied makeup? Well, how long did that take? What, ten - fifteen minutes?"''
23-->--'''Medina''', ''Film/{{Deathgasm}}''
24
25->'''Cameron Frye''': Ferris, my father loves this car more than life itself.\
26'''Ferris Bueller''': A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile.
27-->-- ''Film/FerrisBuellersDayOff''
28
29->''(after finding out that Alan accidentally roofied them)''\
30'''Stu''': You are such a fucking moron!\
31'''Alan''': Your language is offensive!
32-->-- ''Film/TheHangover''
33
34->''"The years passed, and mankind became stupider at a frightening rate. Some had high hopes that genetic engineering would correct this trend in evolution, but sadly the greatest minds and resources were focused on conquering hair loss and prolonging erections."''
35-->--'''Narrator''', ''Film/{{Idiocracy}}''
36
37->''"Who cares about Jennifer, and those douche-bags with their douche-bag haircuts and their man-scara? People just burned to death!"''
38-->--'''Chip Dove''', ''Film/JennifersBody''
39
40->'''Richie Norris''': The Martians just blew up the donut shop!\
41'''Glenn Norris''': Well, if they come around here, we'll blast them back into space!\
42'''Sue Ann Norris''': They sure ain't getting the TV!\
43'''Richie''': Should I go get Grandma?\
44'''Glenn''': Oh, forget Grandma! She's halfway into space already!
45-->--''Film/MarsAttacks''
46
47->''"Even in a time of intergalactic crisis, people still want to roll them bones."''
48-->--'''Art Land''', ''Film/MarsAttacks''
49
50->''"I must say, Dr. Hill, I'm VERY disappointed in you. You steal the secret of life and death, and here you are trysting with a bubble-headed coed. You're not even a second-rate scientist!"''
51-->--'''Herbert West''', ''Film/ReAnimator''
52
53->''"We lack hospitals and doctors, but half the budget goes for military expenditures."''
54-->--'''The Deputy''', ''Film/{{Z}}''
55
56->'''The Dude:''' My only hope is that the Big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off.\
57'''Walter:''' Now that is just ridiculous, Dude. No one is going to cut your dick off. Not if I have anything to say about it.\
58'''The Dude:''' Thank you, Walter, [[SarcasmMode that makes me feel very secure. That makes me feel very warm inside]].\
59''[The conversation [[SeinfeldianConversation meanders around for a bit]], touching on whether or not the Germans are Nihilists or Nazis, until:''\
60'''Walter:''' And let's not forget, Dude, let's ''not'' forget Dude, that keeping wildlife, um, an amphibious rodent, for, um, you know, domestic... within the city... that ain't legal either.\
61'''The Dude:''' What are you, a fucking park ranger now?!\
62'''Walter:''' No! I'm just trying to offer--\
63'''The Dude:''' Who gives a shit about the fucking marmot?!
64-->-- ''Film/TheBigLebowski''
65
66->'''Jack Sparrow:''' Now, before I go just handing [[MacGuffin them]] over, I do have one or two conditions.\
67'''Blackbeard:''' Name them.\
68'''Jack:''' Firstly, I'll be having my compass back. [[SubvertedTrope No, that's secondly.]] ''Firstly'', upon your word, you'll bring no harm to Angelica.
69-->-- ''Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanOnStrangerTides''
70
71->''"What's the matter with you guys? Pretty girls wantin’ a dance, 'n all yiz can think of is to beat up on each other?!"''
72-->--'''Officer Krupke''', ''Film/WestSideStory2021''
73[[/folder]]
74
75[[folder:Literature]]
76->''"Bad news, Harry. I've just been to see Professor [=McGonagall=] about the Firebolt. She — er — got a bit shirty with me. Told me I'd got my priorities wrong. Seemed to think I cared more about winning the Cup than I do about you staying alive. Just because I told her I didn't care if it threw you off, as long as you caught the Snitch on it first. Honestly, the way she was yelling at me... you'd think I'd said something terrible."''
77-->-- ''Literature/HarryPotterAndThePrisonerOfAzkaban''
78
79->You care about me saying "Mudblood" when I'm about to kill you?
80-->-- '''Draco Malfoy''' to [[spoiler:'''Albus Dumbledore''']], ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince''
81
82-> Late last night I returned home from my duties as royal envoy, to find my kin in a greater uproar than the southern city I had left behind. Ten months of Westgate's problems shrivel to insignificance when compared to the tragedy that has befallen the clan of the Wyvernspurs of Immersea.\
83How could the flattening of an entire neighborhood by a dragon corpse, followed by an earthquake and an underworld power-struggle, hope to compete with the theft of a family heirloom no larger than a zucchini and uglier than three-week-old sausage?
84-->-- '''Giogioni Wvvernspur''', ''[[Literature/TheFindersStoneTrilogy Wyvern's Spur]]''
85
86->'''Van Eck''': If you fail, all the world will suffer for it.
87->'''Kaz''': Oh, it's worse than that, Van Eck. If I fail, I don't get paid.
88-->--''Literature/SixOfCrows''
89
90->'''Captain Gwent:''' We find a new planet, Captain gets to name it.
91->'''Father Lewis:''' [[SarcasmMode Well, that should help tremendously, eh?]] At least when it squashes us flatter than rodent roadkill, we'll know what to call it. We won't have to race around screaming "Arg! Crushed to death by planet What's Its Name!"
92-->--''Literature/{{Colony}}''
93
94->''"You'd actually let Urithiru fall rather than share what you know? If we lose the [[PortalDoor Oathgates]] permanently, that's it for the war. That's it for your homeland.'' [Beat] ''Fine. I hope that when you die - knowing your homeland is doomed, your families enslaved, your queen executed - you feel satisfied knowing that at least you maintained a small market advantage."''
95-->--'''Navani''', ''Literature/RhythmOfWar'' (fourth book of ''Literature/TheStormlightArchive'')
96
97->''"This is a matter of life and death, and you talk about ''controlling'' myself?!"''
98-->--'''Fern Arable''', ''Literature/CharlottesWeb''
99
100->''"You clumsy great engine! The [[LostFoodGrievance best cup of cocoa]] I've ever had, and you bumped into me and spill it all!"''
101-->--'''The Goods Train Fireman''' to '''Henry''', ''Literature/TheRailwaySeries''
102
103->'''Mark:''' This chair is ''too small''.\
104''Ms. Farmer showed Mum all the drawings of Castles and Knights that I did. I wanted Dad to look at them, but he just walked around the room trying out all the chairs...''
105-->-- ''Something Different About Dad: How to Live With Your Asperger's Parent'', Chapter 3
106[[/folder]]
107
108[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
109->'''Lister''': You've got to get your priorities right! You know, it's like those people you read about who run back into a burning house to rescue some treasured piece of furniture and wind up burning to death. I mean, nothing's more important than a human life!\
110'''Rimmer''': What about your guitar?\
111'''Lister''': ...except my guitar.
112-->-- ''Series/RedDwarf'', "Marooned"
113
114->The whole Earth may be sucked into hell, and ''you'' want my help 'cause [[CrazyJealousGuy your girlfriend's a big 'ho?]] Well, let me take this opportunity to not care.
115-->-- '''Buffy''' to '''Spike''', ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer''
116
117->'''Mickey''': What's a horse doing on a spaceship?\
118'''The Doctor''': Mickey, what's ''pre-revolutionary France'' doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!
119-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "The Girl in the Fireplace"
120
121->'''Eric Taylor''': Can I ask you a question? How can you even think about that stuff when you're in the mess that you are with your wife? Really.\
122'''Buddy Garrity''': Pam will forgive me.\
123'''Eric Taylor''': You think? You know what I think? I think you hide your head in football a little too much, Buddy. 'Cause I don't think you should care about the semis. I don't think you should care about who I'm having dinner with, or who the hell is even coaching the team. I think you need to worry about your family.
124-->-- ''Series/FridayNightLights'', "Extended Families"
125
126->''[After Michael shows Tahani she died initially due to [[spoiler:being jealous of Kamilah and attempting to sabotage her]]]''\
127'''Tahani:''' Oh my god. I died in ''[[PlaceWorseThanDeath Cleveland]]''?\
128'''Michael:''' I really don't think ''that'' should be [[LampshadeHanging your takeaway here]].
129-->-- ''Series/TheGoodPlace'', "Team Cockroach"
130
131->''[During a FlashedBadgeHijack chase]''\
132'''[[Series/NewGirl Jess Day]]:''' Hey, watch my soup!\
133'''[[Series/BrooklynNineNine Detective Jake Peralta]]:''' I'm chasing a criminal! [[LampshadeHanging Your soup is not important!]]\
134'''Jess Day:''' You took an oath to serve and protect. That applies to my soup.\
135'''Detective Jake Peralta:''' You ''know'' that's not what the oath is about. You're making a point you don't even believe in.\
136'''Jess Day:''' ''GARBAGE TRUCK!''\
137''[The car crashes]''\
138'''Detective Jake Peralta''' Dammit! He got away.\
139'''Jess Day:''' Yeah, well, I spilled my soup. You tell me which is worse.\
140'''Detective Jake Peralta:''' '''''My''' thing! '''Very clearly''' my thing!''
141-->-- ''Series/BrooklynNineNine'' ([[{{Crossover}} and]] ''Series/NewGirl''), "The Night Shift"
142
143-> '''Vocational Guidance Counselor:''' Do you have any qualifications [to become a lion tamer]?\
144'''Mr. Anchovy:''' Yes, I've got a hat.\
145'''Vocational Guidance Counselor:''' A ''hat.''\
146'''Mr. Anchovy:''' Yes, a hat. A lion taming hat. A hat with 'lion tamer' on it. I got it at Harrods. And it lights up saying 'lion tamer' in great big neon letters, so that you can tame them after dark when they're less stroppy.\
147[...]\
148'''Vocational Guidance Counselor:''' Yes, yes, I do follow the strategy. But you see, the snag is, if I now call Mr. Chipperfield and say to him: "Look here, I've got a 45-year-old chartered accountant with me who wants to become a lion tamer", his first question is not going to be: "Does he have his own hat". He's going to ask what sort of experience you've had with lions.
149-->-- ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'', '''Vocational Guidance Counselor Sketch'''
150
151->'''Kate''': If you wanted me to be your wife so much, why did you sell me at a fair?!\
152'''Gypsy Ricky''': I wanted ''a drink''.
153-->-- ''Series/TheWindsors''
154
155->"Would you stop taking pictures of yourself? Your sister's going to jail!"
156-->-- '''Kris Jenner''', ''Series/KeepingUpWithTheKardashians''
157
158->'''Britta Perry:''' I can excuse racism, but I draw the line at animal cruelty!\
159'''Shirley Bennett:''' ...You can excuse racism?
160-->--''Series/{{Community}}'', "Advanced Gay"
161
162->''"I could get fired. Or even worse, Leslie might me a lecture on responsibility again."''
163-->-- '''April Ludgate''', ''Series/ParksAndRecreation''
164[[/folder]]
165
166[[folder:Video Games]]
167->Christ. In forty hours, the city of London will cease to exist. Including selected suburbs, and my ''treasured freehold townhouse''. ''And I just bought new furniture''!
168-->-- '''Austin''', after finding out London is about to be nuked in ''VideoGame/TheMark''
169
170->"Hey commander. Check it out! Big news; the new Blasto movie is breaking opening-week records! There's also a big expose on quasar tournaments, tips on how to make your apartment look bigger, and... oh yeah, ''a big-ass [[EldritchAbomination Reaper]] invasion."''
171-->-- '''Joker''', complaining about this in ''VideoGame/MassEffect3''
172
173->"Well, I'd like to relax over a coffee now, but it seems that's not possible."
174-->-- '''Richard Maxwell''', ''VideoGame/RaidenV''
175
176->I will delete that last report as SPAM. I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you did not pause your rather delicate operation to inform me of [[{{Filler}} your vehicular slaughter]]. We can continue on with this pleasant fiction, yes?
177-->-- '''Richard Sonnac''', ''VideoGame/TheSecretWorld''
178
179->You might not have heard, but the tales say that Lamitt roamed the land -- ''without her helm''. She willingly showed her face to those who weren't kin! She knew full well that it would dishonor her and us all, and she did it anyway. Then there's the part about bringing doom on all the world -- not one of our taboos, really, but it's generally frowned upon.
180-->-- '''Giott''', ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIV: Shadowbringers'', "Traditions and Travails"
181
182->Packs full of steel and war, but nary a thought given to the plow.
183-->--''Videogame/DarkestDungeon'', when heroes are starving
184
185->''I crawled into that rock to take a nap. That was three years ago. Oh baby... I hope I'm still clocked in!''
186-->-- '''Monty Mole''', ''VideoGame/PaperMarioTheOrigamiKing''
187
188->'''Cogita:''' I must say, this is quite the intriguing village... Perhaps I'll have a look around before I go - see what your clothier has on offer.\
189'''Adaman:''' Excuse me? Is [[RedSkyTakeWarning this]] the time for shopping?!\
190'''Cogita:''' Well, I'll hardly have time for shopping if the world ends, will I, young man?\
191'''Adaman:''' [[{{Touche}} Fair point.]]
192-->-- ''VideoGame/PokemonLegendsArceus''
193
194->'''Aster:''' If I'm being honest, I never thought about what I'd do when I became a Knight. But now, I can say this... Snake Crest makes girls sad, and so they have to be punished!
195->'''Narration''': *Aster's shameless statement was met with dead silence.*
196->'''Aster:''' Huh? What? Why?
197->'''Riche:''' Why just girls?
198->'''Barro:''' Heheheh, well, why not? No reason he has to support everyone by himself.
199->'''Acheval:''' Mhm, anyone Aster can't protect, we can just take care of ourselves. Work hard, bro! Otherwise, we'll save the cute girls first.
200->'''Aster:''' I can't let that happen...
201->'''Riche:''' Your priorities are all screwed up!
202-->-- ''[[Creator/AliceSoft Evenicle]]''
203
204->'''Raz:''' Lili, a deranged madman is building an army of psychic death tanks to take over the world, and there's no one who can stop him except for you and me!\
205'''Lili:''' Oh my god! Let's make out!\
206'''Raz:''' Uh, what??
207-->-- ''VideoGame/{{Psychonauts}}''
208
209->'''Spyro:''' Skylanders! Kaos is back to destroy Skylands.\
210'''Trigger Happy (annoyed):''' Again?\
211'''Slam Bam:''' Downer.\
212'''Terrafin:''' That guy owes me five dollars!
213-->-- ''VideoGame/SkylandersSpyrosAdventure'' Launch Trailer
214[[/folder]]
215
216[[folder:Webcomics]]
217->''"Hey, c'mon, where'd this ''thing'' come from? It's blocking me from my ''Franchise/{{Transformers}} display''! [BeatPanel] And my clothes, I guess. Clothes are more important. [[LampshadeHanging She said, to appear normal]]."''
218-->--'''Amber:''', ''Webcomic/DumbingOfAge''
219
220->'''Tedd''': So, what, if the rules were all ''ideal'', magic wouldn't ''work''?\
221'''Magic''': Human spells would become random, the agitated energies forming '''''massive storms of chaos magic'''''.\
222'''Van''': That sounds bad.\
223'''Magic''': Yes. People would stop using magic.
224-->--''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'' [[http://www.egscomics.com/index.php?id=2464]]
225[[/folder]]
226
227[[folder:Web Original]]
228->'''Brookyln Guy''': That [phone call] does not matter, you are taking a test and you're driving [[RealisticDictionIsUnrealistic is da-is dangerous-]]\
229'''Bowser''': But [my mother is] cooking spaghetti!\
230'''Brookyln Guy''': IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT SHE'S COOKING FOR DINNER YOU ARE TAKING A DRIVING TEST, YOU'RE GONNA ''KILL'' EVERYBODY!!\
231'''Bowser''': Oh my God, what, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint you don't want spaghetti, are you a hater-?]]\
232'''Brookyln Guy''': ''I'm not in the mood for spaghetti!''
233-->-- ''WebVideo/SuperMarioLogan'', "Bowser's Drivers License!"
234
235->''We must be ready for war. No, not that kind of war! (Shows title card for his War Stories video) This is something far more serious than people dying, even more important than real life economic turmoil and geopolitical conflict. This is the greatest external threat a writer will ever face, [[InternetJerk people on the Internet saying mean things about one's work!]]"
236-->-- ''WebAnimation/TerribleWritingAdvice'', '''[[https://youtu.be/-v4R2ZcxPlA TAKING CRITICISM]]'''
237
238->'''Rata''': ''Got to say, kind of progressive of you to join a metrosexual biker gang.''
239->'''[[SyntheticVoiceActor The One Whose Shape Was Snatched]]''': ''You absolute donkey. This is no measly biker outfit, but the uniform for the [[TabletopGame/YuGiOh Cyberdark Impacts]], a new age activist group dedicated to constructing many houses and schools for the purpose of educating a small solitary man by the name of Billbury.''
240->'''Rata''': *{{beat}}* Sorry, did-what?
241-->-- WebVideo/RANK10YGO, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv841zDd1mo&t=335s Archetype Archive - Cyberdark]]
242
243->"You get away from my food, my friend [Krillin], my two emergency foods [Oolong and Icarus], and my son! In that order."
244-->--'''Goku''', ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''
245
246->Oh my God, is there anything worse than a snake...ohyeathegiantTyrannosauruswaitingformeoutsiiiiide!
247-->-- ''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic'' on ''Film/TheLostWorldJurassicPark''
248
249->'''Aveline:''' You, Varric, have a very large mouth.
250->'''Varric:''' And here I've always looked up to you. What is it now?
251->'''Aveline:''' There were fist-fights in the barracks over who was the model for your Guard serial.
252->'''Chuck:''' Is it ''really'' so important that we sort this out ''now?'' How about we stop the [[DeadlyGas pending chemical weapons attack]], and then deal with the petty bullshit ''afterwards?'' '''[[EnragedByIdiocy ARGH]].''' No, sorry. I've only myself to blame. As a criminal, I forget I am so [[OnlySaneMan disproportionately civic-minded]].
253-->--'''Website/SFDebris''' reviews ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII''
254
255->'''Tubbo:''' You know how you put your hand in a bag of crisps, and you get like grease on it? What I did is, I got like two bags of Monster Munch, I opened them, and then I put it in a bowl! So now I have Monster Munch in a bowl!\
256'''Tommy:''' ...Tubbo, there are two minutes until Dream comes and murders us.
257-->-- ''WebVideo/DreamSMP''
258
259->'''Purge:''' Your precious Space President, Peace, has been captured by us, the Rhythm Rogues!\
260'''Rosie:''' Yes, but can he still sing?
261-->-- ''WebVideo/ProfessorJuice'' on ''VideoGame/SpaceChannel5 Part 2''
262
263->''(scenario; Edd and Tom are in a house at the bottom of the ocean)''\
264'''Edd:''' Hey, Tom! I got my grades back today.\
265'''Tom:'''*panicking* WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!\
266'''Edd:''' They’re below ''C-Level.''\
267''[Studio Audience laughs]''\
268'''Tom:''' YOU HAVE TO HELP ME BOARD UP THESE WINDOWS! WE’RE GONNA DIE!!\
269'''Edd:''' That teacher sure ''harbors'' a grudge!\
270''[Studio Audience laughs]''\
271'''Tom:''' WHY ARE YOU JUST MAKING PUNS?!\
272[{{Beat}}]\
273'''Edd:''' She’s a real ''beach!''\
274''[Studio Audience laughs]''
275-->-- ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjK-LzkekCU Rock Bottom]]''
276
277->''"They're pointing arrows and she's worried about their shoes. She NEEDS to sort out her priorities."''
278-->-- '''Jay Thorntree''', ''WebOriginal/ProtectorsOfThePlotContinuum'', "[[https://plotprotectors.neocities.org/TOS/mission26.html No Way Back]]"
279
280->"My new paint job! Oy, puta! [[FinalSolution Grind up an entire species]] on your own time! But when you wreck ''my'' ship… it. Gets. ''Personal!''"
281-->--'''Shrike Sanchez''', ''WebAnimation/MonkeyWrench''
282
283->''Why are you posing for pictures and playing with the baby when Egon only has until midnight [before he dies]?''
284-->--'''[[https://jeremyreviewstheghostbusters.blogspot.com/2016/07/now-this-is-embarrassing.html Jeremy Perron]]''' on ''WesternAnimation/TheRealGhostbusters'', "Three Men and an Egon"
285
286[[/folder]]
287
288[[folder:Western Animation]]
289->"Steve, I know you cloned these girls. If the CIA finds out, I'll lose my job."
290-->-- '''Stan Smith''', ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad''
291
292->'''Lana''': Ray is dying!\
293'''Archer''': Does that mean so must my dream?
294-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Archer}}, whose dream involved forming a lacrosse team out of RuthlessModernPirates''
295
296->"We can't go to prison! We have midterms!"
297-->-- '''Wasabi''', ''WesternAnimation/BigHero6TheSeries''
298
299->"I starred in twenty-two consecutive Doggy Chop commercials. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Look at me now; I couldn't land an audition!]]"
300-->-- '''King''', ''WesternAnimation/IsleOfDogs''
301
302->''When I was four there was a hurricane in Kingston Town''\
303''With a foot-and-a-half of water''\
304''Everyone was all right, but I cried all night;''\
305''It blew my alphabet blocks out of order''
306-->-- '''Hermes Conrad''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''
307
308->'''Marinette''': It's Adrien! He's looking for his phone! What if he tracks it? He'll figure out I stole it, I'll be arrested for grand theft, I'll spend the rest of my life in jail, and worse, I'll never get to go to the movies with Adrien!\
309'''Tikki''': Oh, Marinette. You really need to get your priorities in order.
310-->-- ''WesternAnimation/MiraculousLadybug''
311
312->'''Rarity''': I was ''this'' close to getting that diamond!\
313'''Twilight''': (annoyed) You mean... getting rid of that dragon?\
314'''Rarity''': Oh, yeah...sure.
315-->-- ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic''
316
317->'''Rarity''': (while [[BlobMonster the Smooze]] is overrunning the Gala) My shoes will be ruined forever! \
318'''Applejack''': [[LampshadeHanging That's what you're worried about? Really?]]
319-->-- ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'', "Make New Friends But Keep Discord"
320
321->'''Cartman''': (crying) My dad [[spoiler:was a ginger]]!\
322'''Kyle''': Dude, you [[spoiler:killed your own dad]] and you're worried about that?!
323-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''
324
325->'''Gwen''': We've been at this for hours. If Ghostfreak trashes the campus, I'll never get admitted!\
326''[Ben and Max give Gwen a look that says "Seriously? That's your biggest concern right now?"]''\
327'''Gwen''': (''nervously'') Not like that isn't as important as saving all these innocent people.
328-->-- ''WesternAnimation/Ben10'', "Ghostfreaked Out"
329
330->"You miserable engine! Just look what you've done to our breakfast! Now I shall have to cook some more."
331-->-- '''The Stationmaster's Wife''' (to Thomas after [[Recap/ThomasAndFriendsS2E18ThomasComesToBreakfast he's just crashed into and half-demolished her house]]), ''WesternAnimation/ThomasAndFriends''
332
333->'''Raine:''' Hello Darius. Eber.\
334'''Darius:''' Raine Whispers. You'll regret what you did to my cloak!\
335'''Eberwolf:''' ''(snarls)''\
336'''Darius:''' And your treachery. Whatever.
337-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheOwlHouse'', "Eda's Requiem"
338
339->'''Bitsy:''' I know you stole the côte de boeuf, and I intend to prosecute you to the fullest extent of the law.\
340'''Abby:''' Well, I hope that wouldn't negatively affect my work here.\
341'''Helen:''' You'd also be fired.\
342'''Abby:''' No!\
343'''Helen:''' Huh. Would've expected a bigger reaction to the first thing.
344-->-- ''WesternAnimation/CentralPark'', Season 3 "[[Recap/CentralParkS3E06AMatterOfLifeAndBoeuf A Matter of Life and Boeuf]]"
345
346->'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' So what's the plan, Sandy?\
347'''Sandy:''' Run faster!\
348'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' I could've thought of that. Hey, wait a minute! I was right, wasn't I?!\
349'''Sandy:''' Later!\
350'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' Ah, he is too big for you, isn't he?\
351'''Sandy:''' Not now, [=SpongeBob=]!\
352'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' I wanna hear you say it!\
353'''Sandy:''' Can we talk about this another time?\
354'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' Say it!\
355'''Sandy:''' [=SpongeBob=]!\
356'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' Say it, or I'll trip you!\
357'''Sandy:''' No! Get away!\
358'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' SAY IT!\
359'''Sandy:''' Not now!\
360'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' '''''SAY IT!!!'''''\
361'''Sandy:''' OKAY!!! You were right, and I was wrong!!! I was ''wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!!!'' Are you happy now?!\
362'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' ''[smirks]'' I knew it.
363-->--''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'', "Sandy, [=SpongeBob=], and the Worm"
364
365->''"You painted my paint job! PREPARE FOR SURGERY!"''
366-->-- '''Knock Out''', ''WesternAnimation/TransformersPrime'', "T.M.I."
367[[/folder]]
368
369[[folder:Other]]
370->'''Lucy''': Hey, manager! I think we should call the game.\
371'''Charlie Brown''': Call the game?! Why should we call the game?\
372'''Lucy''': It's raining on my cake!
373-->-- ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}''
374
375->Chuck's over there tripping out, and talking to a group of unknown synthetic beings living on a planet with wildlife about as deadly as the last one we were on, and the first thing you think is to defend your heterosexuality? What is '''WRONG''' with you?!
376-->-- '''Risky''', ''Roleplay/WeAreOurAvatars''
377
378->"...In fact, it seems that every single person in Night Vale was actually [[ManchurianAgent a secret agent waiting to be activated]]. We had all been implanted with the exact same code phrase, which is the kind of sloppy organisation that is just what our government is coming to."
379-->--'''Cecil''', ''Podcast/WelcomeToNightVale''
380
381->"And what kind of scientists are working on [seedless watermelon] anyway? You've got scientists working on AIDS, cancer, heart disease. 'No, I want to focus more on melon. Sure, thousands are dying needlessly, but this? '''(poot)''' That's gotta stop!'"
382-->--'''Creator/JerrySeinfeld'''
383
384->''Volcanoes erupted from Perth to Peru,\
385The Grand Canyon widened. Mount Everest grew.\
386The earth started spinning a different direction,\
387And worst of all, I lost my [=iPhone=] connection.''
388-->-- "[[https://www.poetry4kids.com/poems/the-biggest-burp-ever/ The Biggest Burp Ever]]"
389
390->Seriously, folks'll barely get their asses when we've got a gulf full of oil, but you take away their Budweiser and they'll fuckin' end you.
391-->--'''Nash''', ''WebVideo/WhatTheFuckIsWrongWithYou'', "One Moron, One Scotch, One Beer"
392
393->''I was watching my TV one night\
394When they broke in with a special report\
395About some devastating earthquake in Peru\
396There were thirty thousand crushed to death\
397Even more were buried alive\
398On the Richter scale, it measured 8.2\
399And I said, "God, please answer me one question:\
400Why'd they have to interrupt WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons just for this?"''
401-->--'''Music/WeirdAlYankovic'', "Why Does This Always Happen To Me?"
402
403[[/folder]]
404
405!!!RealLife
406->''"When Ron Artest was a rookie with the Chicago Bulls, he applied for a job at Circuit City to get the employee discount. If you know anything about economics and professional basketball salaries, this is a lot like dismembering only dwarf prostitutes for the plastic bag savings...If Ron Artest was an economist, he would immediately quit to lower his business card expenses. After he joined the Indiana Pacers, Ron started a side job promoting a girl group [[OneHitWonder whose only hit was a Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam cover]]. He nagged his coach for a month off to pursue this and got suspended for two games. Economically speaking, this the same as taking $200,000 out of the bank to raise money-eating beetles."''
407-->-- '''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-athletes-who-had-more-crazy-than-talent/#ixzz33B6lIpHL "7 Athletes Who Had More Crazy Than Talent"]]
408
409->Not only did {{Wrestling/WCW}} begin to sign names, but at the advice of their PPV head, Sharon Sidello, they also began to film expensive skits in an effort to sell their upcoming shows. These weren't cheap-looking productions filmed with standard television equipment; they were professionally filmed, and they looked like honest-to-God movies. And why not? They had the [[UsefulNotes/TedTurner Turner]] family behind them, and if anyone could make such a production look high-end, it would be them. The only problem was that these skits were [[{{Narm}} so horribly written and acted]] that the results were laughable, at best...Instead, fans were "treated" to {{Wrestling/Sting}} and [[Wrestling/DaveyBoySmith Davey Boy]] playing volleyball with orphans on an island--and this is a direct quote--"somewhere in the Gulf of Mexico." Wrestling/{{Vader}} and Wrestling/{{Sid|Eudy}} showed up to crash the party (on a war boat, no less!) and challenged the good guys to outdo them in a clam bake. No, just kidding, they challenged them to a match at Beach Blast. In the meantime, an evil one-eyed midget named Cheatum (yes, as in "[[PunnyName cheat them]]") planted a bomb on Sting's boat and blew it to smithereens as the heels had a good laugh.\
410Let's look at the two scenarios we've presented. Scenario one, in which the {{heel}}s beat up the {{face}}s and leave them sprawled out in the ring, would have cost approximately $0 extra to film. Scenario two, the amazingly well-produced but equally amazingly poorly written and performed orphans/war boat/one-eyed midget/boat explosion route, [[IncompetenceInc wound up costing $80,000.]]
411-->-- '''R. D. Reynolds''' and '''Bryan Alvarez''' ''Literature/TheDeathOfWCW''
412
413->''"Oh, goody! That means I can go back inside and keep playing ''VideoGame/{{Minecraft}}''!"''
414-->-- '''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''' [-(On severe flooding in Brisbane)-]
415
416->''"Several months after the second movie, Sunsoft released a tie-in game for the NES. The developers were able to make the game [[SugarWiki/NoProblemWithLicensedGames surprisingly faithful]], despite being based on such unorthodox source material. The levels are almost all based on scenes from the movie, as are the weapons and many of the enemies...It's rather ironic that Sunsoft did a much better job adapting such an oddball film compared to some of their more well known releases such as ''[[{{VideoGame/BatmanSunsoft}} Batman]]''."''
417-->-- '''Keith [=McDonald=]''' and '''Sam Derboo''' [[http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/gremlins/gremlins2.htm on]] ''Film/Gremlins2TheNewBatch''
418
419->Creator/GeorgeClooney married Amal Alamuddin this year. Amal is a human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case, was an adviser to Kofi Annan regarding Syria and was selected for a three person U.N. commission investigating rules of war violations in the Gaza Strip. So tonight her husband is getting a lifetime achievement award.
420-->-- '''Creator/TinaFey''', presenting the 2015 Golden Globes
421
422->And after that annoyance of natural disasters [a flood] was over, I searched for my [[Platform/NintendoEntertainmentSystem Nintendo]]. I mean sure, there could be people DEAD outside, lying in the streets, DEAD. I ''should'' help them, but... Nintendo important!
423-->-- '''WebVideo/{{Yuriofwind}}''', [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDh6s0-stXA&t=2m49s Bullshit Creepypasta Storytime: Super Mario Bros 3 Transfer]]
424
425->"Oh, you're bleeding everywhere! Oh, you're bleeding everywhere! Get it off my designer Gucci glasses, and my Gucci purse!
426-->-- '''WebVideo/GameGrumps'''; Jon, after Arin "shoots himself" because of [[TheProblemWithLicensedGames Rugrats in Paris: The Movie]]
427
428->'''Wirz''': As I have said--''as I say for the last time''--it was, to me, a military situation.\
429'''Chipman''': But that was ''not'' a military situation; those helpless, unarmed men were no longer the enemy, no matter what Winder said. This was no longer a question of North and South, a question of war, but a question of human beings.
430-->-- ''Theatre/TheAndersonvilleTrial'', in regards to Henry Wirz's mindset in treating the prisoners at Andersonville. Obviously ''not'' PlayedForLaughs.
431
432->There's a couple--they were on a honeymoon, and the plane hadn't yet taken off, and the, um... The woman who had just gotten married just became ''violently'' and horribly ill on the plane. I mean, it was not like a pretty little, like, sick bag kind of thing, it was just like, "I'm going to paint with my organs." And people were freaking out all over the plane, and um... So they brought a stretcher down, and they put her on the stretcher, and they're wheeling her away, and like, the... The, um... Her--her new husband, he's kinda cruisin' along with the thing and he sees me and he's like, "Film/{{Deadpool|2016}}! No way, high five!" And I'm like "''(stammering)'' what has she ''got?!''" Like, what's happening, I don't wanna... Y'know, he's like "Let's touch eyeballs!" It's like no! No! And by the way: your wife is like half dead! Help her! Help her, man!
433-->-- '''Creator/RyanReynolds'''
434
435->So, [Operation] Ichigo was kind of the beginning of the end for [Joseph] Stilwell as the commander of CBI[[note]]China Burma India Theater[[/note]]. Despite being a theater commander he was ''fixated'' on recovering Upper Burma--a very tiny fraction of his command--and spent most of his time at the head of a couple Chinese divisions, X Force, that he had trained in India. He was almost ''completely'' out of the strategic loop, stomping around the Burmese jungle, and was largely ignorant of the scale and danger posed by Ichigo, which was happening in the theater he was supposed to be in command of. Like, this is equivalent of [[UsefulNotes/DwightDEisenhower Eisenhower]] not knowing that the Battle of the Bulge was happening because he was leading a division from the front somewhere else along the line. It's completely ridiculous when you place it in a European context! In fact, this led to the gibe that Stilwell was "the best [[ThePeterPrinciple three-star company commander]] in the U.S. Army."
436-->--'''Justin Pyke''', Military History Visualized, "[[https://youtu.be/TBNZqC3h_Y4 The Worst US General in World War 2?]]"
437
438->So, the federal government CAN strong arm Supreme Court justices, meddle directly in territories, veto bills like you throw out wrapping paper, and just generally abuse power, but could not be bothered to help the North out with the Panic of 1857, or do ANYTHING to TRY and prevent states from seceding? That's priorities, not "lacking power".
439-->--'''Rational Wiki''' [[https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/James_Buchanan on]] UsefulNotes/JamesBuchanan's failure/refusal to prevent UsefulNotes/TheAmericanCivilWar
440
441->Any time I see someone not singing the right song or wearing the right flower in their lapel, I will scream “Traitor!”, as otherwise I will be forced to dwell on the projections that mean our climate is warming rapidly. I will sing my national song [[WhileRomeBurns as my habitat burns and whole species become extinct]]; I will sing it as gargantuan boiling waves flecked with rubble and major public buildings pursue me through the streets. I will sing it as I light a pyre of garbage to warn my fellow survivors that our enemies the Crabmen have begun their final sideways march out of the sea. I will sing my national song in a rich baritone [[AfterTheEnd in one of humankind’s final mountaintop redoubts]]. Even when there is none left to hear but the carrion birds that circle me daily, I will sing.
442-->--'''Creator/FrankieBoyle''', "[[https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/sep/21/jeremy-corbyn-non-conformist-british-frankie-boyle It’s odd that Jeremy Corbyn is considered non-conformist. He couldn’t be more British if he bled tea]]"
443
444->But when facing the moral dilemma of whether to save all of humanity or his pet cat, Judd, he chose his cat.
445-->--Youtuber '''Chasekip,''' on the lore of ''Franchise/{{Splatoon}}''
446
447->It seems that in the early planning stages, the creative team decided to truly spare no expense. They started investing in so much of [Ride/EvermorePark]'s smaller details at first without looking at the broader budget and seeing if they could pay for the bigger picture. [...] There's this stone arch in the garden which looks kind of cool, you walk under it for a second and are like 'oh that's kind of cool'. A former member of the creative team that I spoke with alleged that this arch was purchased pre-made and shipped into the park like that, and cost about $50,000. [...] This ''LA Times'' article claims that much of the brick and stone used to build the structures was imported from England, many of the statues are real and antique, real antique stained-glass windows were imported from overseas for the theoretical church that doesn't even have walls. These are all really cool touches, but these are the things you do if you have more money than you know what to do with. These are certainly not expenses you should take on before you're certain you have enough to pay all your contractors for the meagre half of the park they've already built. I once went on [[Ride/HarryPotterAndTheEscapeFromGringotts that Harry Potter bank ride at Universal Studios]], in the lobby they have these massive marble collumns, and when you knock on them you hear that they're hollow, the marble pattern's just a print laid over wood or plastic. And you know what I think about that? I think 'now that's a building that's got all its walls'. Priorities!
448-->--'''WebVideo/JennyNicholson''', "Evermore: The Theme Park That Wasn't"
449
450->But it turns out that cancelling very famous people is actually ''very hard''. I screamed for ''years'' that we should get rid of Music/ChrisBrown, how'd that work out for me? I especially didn't expect it to work on [=6ix9ine=]. Like, calling him the horrible abusive monster is not gonna do anything, when his response is gonna be: "Yes, I'm a horrible abusive monster." The only real abuser that's been booted out of music is Music/RKelly, and ''he'' had to be an active practicing pedophile for 20 years, and more importantly, ''stop having hits''. For the most part, people who actually do lose their careers for being "problematic" are people like Music/RobinThicke or Music/IggyAzalea, whose crimes were much lesser, but who no one really liked that much to begin with. [=6ix9ine=] is still very lucrative, so he's been pretty insulated from any actual consequences. Mostly.
451-->-- '''WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows'''; [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mue7pBskPj4 POP SONG REVIEW: "Trollz" by 6ix9ine and Nicki Minaj]]
452
453->I am holding [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Guy_Game a disc that contains illegal boob in it]]. AHHHHH! It's got to be destroyed, I can't let anybody get their hands on this ever again, and more importantly, ''it doesn't match with my [[Platform/PlayStation2 PS2]] shelf!!''
454-->-- '''WebVideo/{{Caddicarus}}'''; [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YwoRFFiqsQ The Forbidden World of BANNED Games]]
455
456->So, anyway, back to Rayford Steele. You remember Rayford. He’s the kinky, control-freak, middle-aged pilot so obsessed with his lust for a young, subservient flight attendant that he seems not to have noticed a nuclear war.
457-->-- ''The Slacktivist'' on '''Literature/LeftBehind''', [[https://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2024/01/05/lbcf-no-8-do-panic/ here]]
458
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