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1[[foldercontrol]][[folder:''Scream'']]->'''Randy:''' There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie. For instance, number one: you can never have sex.->''<Crowd boos at him>''->'''Stu:''' [[SarcasmMode Dead man, I'm a dead man.]]->'''Randy:''' Big no-no! Big no-no! [[DeathBySex Sex equals death, okay?]] Number two. You can never drink or do drugs.->''<Crowd cheers, and raises their beer bottles>''->'''Randy:''' No, listen! [[TheScourgeOfGod It's a sin!]] It's an extension of number one. And number three. Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, say "[[TemptingFate I'll be right back]]." 'Cause you won't be back.->'''Stu:''' I'm gettin' another beer, you want one?->'''Randy:''' Yeah, sure.->'''Stu:''' ''[[LampshadeHanging I'll be right back!]]''->'''Randy:''' You see, you push the laws, and you end up dead, okay? [[{{Foreshadowing}} I'll see you in the kitchen with a knife.]]-->--[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-q-AWD_8AY Randy's rules for surviving a horror movie.]]->'''Ghostface:''' Do you like scary movies?->'''Sidney:''' I like that thing you're doing with your voice, Randy. It's sexy.->'''Ghostface:''' What's your favorite scary movie?->'''Sidney:''' Come on, you know I don't watch that shit.->'''Ghostface:''' Why not? Too scared?->'''Sidney:''' No. No, it's just what's the point? [[StrictlyFormula They're all the same.]] Some stupid killer stalking some [[TheBrainlessBeauty big-breasted girl]] who [[DullSurprise can't act]] who's always [[TooDumbToLive running up the stairs when she should be going out the front door]]. It's insulting.-->--Now guess what Sidney does when confronted by the killer?->'''Ghostface/[[spoiler:Billy Loomis]]:''' I think she wants a motive. Well, I don't really believe in motives, Sid. I mean, did Norman Bates have a motive? Did we ever find out why Hannibal Lecter liked to eat people? ''Don't think so!'' [[ForTheEvulz See, it's a lot scarier when there's no motive.]]-->--Don't worry, he actually does have a motive. ->'''[[spoiler:Billy Loomis]]:''' Now Sid, don't you blame the movies! Movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos more creative![[/folder]][[folder:''Scream 2'']]-> '''Randy:''' Let's get down to business. [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall The way I see it, someone's out to make a sequel. You know, cash in on all the movie murder hoopla.]] So it's our job to observe the rules of a sequel. [[DarkerAndEdgier Number one, the body count is always bigger.]] [[{{Gorn}} Number two, the death scenes are always much more elaborate; more blood, more gore. Carnage candy!]] Your core audience expects it. And number three, never, ever, under any circumstances---> '''Dewey:''' How do we find the killer, Randy? That's what I wanna know.-> '''Randy:''' Oh. Well, let's look at the suspects. [[LoveInterest There's Derek, the obvious boyfriend.]] [[spoiler: [[CallBack Hello, Billy Loomis!]]]] The guy's pre-med and his pity-me service wound conveniently missed every vein and artery! -> '''Dewey:''' So you think it's Derek.-> '''Randy:''' Not so fast. [[GenreSavvy Let's assume the killer or -ers has half a brain.]] He's not a ''Nick at Night'' rerun type of guy. He wants to break some new ground, right? So forget the boyfriend, it's tired! Who else do we got?-> '''Dewey:''' There's...-> '''Randy:''' [[NarrowedItDownToTheGuyIRecognize MICKEY! The freaky Tarantino film student!]] But if he's a suspect, so am I. So let's move on.-> '''Dewey:''' Whoa, wait, wait. Let's not move on. Maybe you ''are'' a suspect.-> '''Randy:''' Well, if ''I'm'' a suspect, ''you're'' a suspect.-> '''Dewey:''' You have a point. Okay. Let's move on...-> '''[[spoiler:Mickey]]:''' You really should deal with your trust issues, Sid. I mean, poor [[spoiler:Derek]]. He was completely innocent and such a nice boy too. He was bright, and fun, and handsome, had a good voice and was going to be a doctor. This is just the kind of boy you'd like to take home to mom... if you had a mom.-> '''Sidney:''' Fuck you!-> '''[[spoiler:Mickey]]:''' Oh! So vulgar! Did Billy let you talk to him like this?-> '''[[spoiler:Mickey]]:''' [[spoiler:Billy]] was good at this. He knew it's all about execution.-> '''Sidney:''' Yeah? But you forgot one thing about [[spoiler:Billy Loomis]].-> '''[[spoiler:Mickey]]:''' What's that?-> '''Sidney:''' I fucking killed him![[/folder]][[folder:''Scream 3'']]-> '''Ghostface''': Oh, it's hard being friends with you, Sidney. When you're friends with Sidney, you die.-> '''Sidney''': It's your turn to scream, asshole!-> '''Sidney''': Do you know why you kill people, [[spoiler:Roman]]? Do you? You kill people because you choose to! There is no one else to blame![[/folder]][[folder:''Scream 4'']]-> '''Ghostface:''' Welcome home, Sidney. Preview of coming events.-> '''Sidney:''' Why don't you come for me? Ain't got the balls for that?-> '''Ghostface:''' Oh, poor Sidney. You think this is all about you. You think you're still the star.-> '''Sidney:''' This isn't a fucking movie!-> '''Ghostface:''' It will be.-> '''Sidney:''' These are innocent people!-> '''Ghostface:''' Spare me the lecture! You've done very well by all this bloodshed, haven't you? But how about the town you've left behind? I got plans for you. I'm gonna slit your eyelids in half so you don't blink when I stab you in the face. You'll die when I want you to, Sidney, not a moment before... until then, you're going to suffer.-> '''Charlie:''' A party. Guaranteed third act main cast bloodbath.-> '''Gale:''' Okay, so do you know of a party that's happening tonight?-> '''Charlie:''' Well... there's Stab-a-thon.-> '''Sidney:''' Stab-a-thon?-> '''Charlie:''' It's a movie marathon. All seven ''Stab'' back to back, we do it every year.-> '''Sidney:''' And it's tonight? There's a killer out there patterning his murders after the original movie.-> '''Charlie:''' [[TemptingFate I know. It's pretty wild.]]-> '''[[spoiler:Jill Roberts]]:''' Look around. We're all living in public now, we're all in the internet. How do you think people become famous anymore? You don't have to achieve anything. You just gotta have fucked up shit happen to you.[[/folder]]

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