Line #27 Quotes/KillerGameMaster


1	->'''Attendant:''' How do you deal with players who try to break the game?\
2	'''Gabe:''' Lie to them. Rob them. Drive them mad. Concoct impossible scenarios whose only outcome is their death.\
3	And then, when their eyes glisten with shame and rage, ''drink their tears.''
4	-->-- ''Webcomic/PennyArcade'', [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2010/03/29 "DM 101"]]
5
6	->"Your bodies will remain undiscovered for ''(roll roll roll)'' '''82 centuries!'''"
7	--> -- '''Jason Fox''', ''ComicStrip/FoxTrot''
8
9	-> '''Dave''': Damn! I rolled a one.\
10	'''B.A.''': A one? Excellent! That gives me a chance to use the new Critical Miss rolls I just picked up.
11	--> -- ''ComicStrip/KnightsOfTheDinnerTable''
12
13	->'''Black Mage:''' You ever get the feeling that the universe is a vast, impersonal emptiness [[EverythingIsTryingToKillYou that exists only to hurt you?]]\
14	'''Red Mage:''' Yes. It's how we know the DM is doing his job.
15	-->--'''[[WebComic/EightBitTheater 8-Bit Theater]]''', ''[[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/04/21/episode-543-no-loose-ends/ episode 543]]''
16
17	->''"Kill the bastards."''
18	-->-- '''Second rule for [=GMs=]''', ''TabletopGame/{{Paranoia}}''
19
20	-> ''As you can see I soon realized that Psycho Dave ran a game in roughly the same way that Warwick Davis in the film ''Film/{{Leprechaun}}'' [[JackassGenie granted wishes]]. Everything you said your character did was scrutinized for some way to screw you over and the dice ruled all. He was the only guy I know who used a random monster encounter chart for ''TabletopGame/CallOfCthulhu''. You haven't lived until you've had a character [[GoMadFromTheRevelation go mad]] because he saw a [[EldritchAbomination nightgaunt]] sitting in a restroom stall reading a copy of the [[ArtifactOfDoom Necronomicon]].''
21	--> -- '''Al Bruno III''', from the RPG.Net rant [[http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?s=&threadid=13446 "A Night At the Inn, A Day At the Racists"]] and the Literature/BinderOfShame, describing the style of a particularly KillerGameMaster. And the D&D game being recounted would only get worse from there.
22
23	->''"A dragon? You only wish. I have read the entire KillerGM and RockFallsEveryoneDies pages in preparation for this moment. I have transcended the chains of pity and mercy towards other players. I am the lava flood and the T-Rex on the plains. I am the {{GMPC}} in all its horror, the GoddamnedBats in all their multitudes. [++[[LargeHam I am the spawner of overpowered monsters and the ender of life. I AM THE DESTROYER OF GAMES... AND]]++]'' '''''[+++[[EvilIsHammy I SHALL BE YOUR END!!!]]+++]'''''"''
24	--> -- '''[[PsychoForHire The troper responsible for running the traps]]''', [[EvilerThanThou taking offense at the thought of]] [[HopelessBossFight his throwing mere dragons]] at a tomb-raiding party, ''[[RolePlay/WorldWarX Hunt for the Ark]]''.
25
26	->''"This brings up the first issue I have with [[TabletopGame/DungeonsAndDragons D&D]]: There is no hope for you if you exist in this world. [[EverythingTryingToKillYou Nothing can be trusted.]] If the game master wants to kill you, you're dead."''
27	-->—-Head Injury Theater, [[http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article73.htm CELEBRATING 30 YEARS OF VERY STUPID MONSTERS.]]
28
29	->''[[OffTheRails Changing the engine of a campaign while the car is in motion is a tough sell]], which is why the hiatus gives us some opportunities to approach these concerns in a broad way.''\
30	'''You will note that the blade of a guillotine is also broad.'''
31	-->-- '''Webcomic/PennyArcade''', ''[[http://penny-arcade.com/2011/11/30 The Conflux, Part Four]]''
32
33	->''An evil GM gives the party fights they can't win and should run away from.''\
34	''A killer GM gives the party fights they can't win and can't run away from.''
35	-->-- Source Unknown
36
37	->"I was nice enough to let you play in my world... and you ''ingrates'' repay me by ''rebelling'' against the master! ''Death'' to all players! I'll ''bury'' you in eternal night!"
38	-->--'''Yami Bakura''', ''Manga/YuGiOh'' manga
39
40	->"Fine, you can have your little saving throws. Roll the dice!"
41	->"Forty-one!"
42	->"Forty!"
43	->"Forty-three!"
44	->''(Dexter rolls a 2 [[TheGMIsACheatingBastard but changes it to 49]])''
45	->"Hah! Forty-nine! [[LargeHam You all FRYYYY!]]"
46	-->-- '''Dexter and his friends''', ''WesternAnimation/DextersLaboratory'', "D&DD"
47
48	->''As I was going over the notes of our campaign\
49	I realized the multitudes of characters that were slain\
50	In retrospect I must admit it wasn't really fair\
51	To lose first level characters to a flock of owlbears\
52	We've had to roll so many saving throws in vain\
53	To keep mind flayers from sucking out our brains\
54	It never really mattered, the odds were all the same\
55	This was a character slaughterhouse, you called it a campaign''
56	-->-- '''Dan Marcotte''', "Screw You, DM!"
57
58	->Wow. What a terrible game master. Completely arbitrary. I wish I could’ve invited marcie over with my group. We’d have had a blast, drinking mountain dew and spinning epic tales of daring and heroism one dice roll at a time. I’m almost amazed at how horribly Gina screwed up.\
59	First of all, that’s a disgustingly arbitrary needle trap. Traps don’t have the ability to CHOOSE a target. The least Gina could’ve done is roll a mischance to see if it would’ve gone toward ANYBODY if not the nearest person, Mike’s character. Furthermore, rogues (theives) DO get disable device (such as traps) as a class skill and I highly doubt that Marcie would’ve had a DEX lower than 16. That’s a +3 at LEAST. Rolling a 17, plus 3 and that’s assuming she’s -untrained-, renders a 20. It’s not a ‘natural 20’ which would be an instant success, but it’s a danged effective effort. And then, failing to disarm, a character gets to roll reflex to see if they can dodge the trap, which gina NEVER gave marcie a chance to do–and failing THAT, a fortitude save to see how effectively Black Leaf would’ve soaked or mitigated the poison damage.\
60	Tsk Tsk.\
61	Poor form. Very poor form.
62	-->--'''Stone Taggart''' commenting on ''Fanfic/WhateverHappenedToElfstar''
63
64	->''"Just for that, [[RocksFallEveryoneDies your entire party falls into Hell.]] Roll to see how painfully you die."''
65	-->--'''Comic Book Guy''', ''[[ComicBook/TheSimpsons Comic Book Guy's Book of Pop Culture]]''
66
67	->''"All you do is try to kill us."''
68	-->--'''Dexter's Friend''', ''WesternAnimation/DextersLaboratory'', "D&DD"

Context Quotes / KillerGameMaster