Follow TV Tropes

Following

Context Quotes / DeadpanSnarker

Go To

1%% If we had every snarky comment that every Troper found in a work of fiction posted here, then it may just break the server. Try and limit your examples to quotes that Lampshade the trope instead of demonstrating it.
2[[foldercontrol]]
3
4[[folder: Anime and Manga]]
5
6->'''Lietenant Antoine:''' I am Antoine, Lieutenant of this Beast-hunting brigade. And you, Sir, are without a doubt the storied beast! The size of an ox, with black horns and fangs as sharp as a wolf's. A monster terrible enough to send chills down the spine of a grown man... Prepare to face divine, ironclad justice!
7->'''Beast:''' Say, old man, how would you like if I judged YOU based on your looks? Or am I right to assume you're just a mustachioed, out-of-shape clerk playing soldier who can't actually fight a damn?
8->'''Lieutenant Antoine:''' Why, you!! You stooped to insults, I see!
9->'''Beast:''' You started it! Do these look like horns to you? They're my ears, asshole!
10-->-- ''Manga/BeautyAndTheBeastOfParadiseLost''
11[[/folder]]
12
13[[folder:Asian Animation]]
14->'''Jetybory''': I'm going to lose my temper!\
15'''Evil Noonbory Clone''': I'll go find it for ya.
16-->-- ''Animation/NoonboryAndTheSuper7'', "Double Trouble"
17[[/folder]]
18
19[[folder: Comic Books]]
20
21->'''Lieutenant Peters:''' You wanna play cop, join the department and get yourself a badge! Until then, stay out of my way!\
22'''ComicBook/{{Supergirl}}:''' You need a hint as to what you can do with your badge, Peters?
23-->-- ''[[ComicBook/Supergirl1982 The Daring Adventures of Supergirl]]'' #12
24
25->'''ComicBook/{{Supergirl}}:''' Eliza, Jeremiah — Do you need help?\
26'''Eliza:''' Not at all! I live to work hours cleaning twenty square feet.\
27'''Supergirl:''' Sarcasm is not unique to Earth, you know.\
28'''Eliza:''' Good. You already speak my language. This adjustment process will be easy.
29-->-- ''ComicBook/SupergirlRebirth'' #1
30[[/folder]]
31
32[[folder: Fan Works]]
33->'''Mark Russell:''' Jesus.\
34'''Vivienne Graham:''' yeah?
35-->-- Mark Russell when seeing an InhumanHuman Vivienne for the first time, ''Fanfic/AbraxasHrodvitnon''
36
37->'''San[[spoiler:-2]]:''' brothers there is a problem\
38'''Ichi: THERE IS ALWAYS A PROBLEM WHAT NOW'''\
39[...]\
40'''Ni:''' WHAT A NUISANCE I'VE ONLY JUST [[HydraProblem COME BACK]]
41-->-- Ghidorah's [[MultipleHeadCase three heads]], ''Abraxas'' (Hrodvitnon)
42
43->'''Carol:''' So what have you been doing besides studying, Scott?\
44'''[[ComicBook/{{Cyclops}} Scott Summers]]:''' Well, on my off time, I've saved the world a couple of times from evil mutants. I joined a cult and then overthrew its leader because he was badly mistreating his people. That, of course, is after the head of the cult tried to sacrifice me to a demon. After I overthrew the old leader, the members of the cult voted me their leader. I made everyone get jobs and outlawed human sacrifice. I helped them fix up their boarding house and open a soup kitchen for the homeless in its basement. I also organized a band for them, and they're playing at the children's hospital cancer ward benefit next month. Other than that, not much; it's been a slow month.\
45'''Carol:''' (to Xavier) He's learning to express a sense of humor.\
46'''Xavier:''' Yes, Scott is learning to express a sense of humor; a very dry one.\
47'''Scott:''' (looking innocently) That's me, sir, life of the party.\
48'''Carol:''' All I have to do is teach you how to smile now.\
49'''Scott:''' Putting a smile on my face is like putting pastel colors on Wednesday Adams. Some things should just never be done.
50-->-- ''Fanfic/XMenTheEarlyYears''
51
52->'''Meg:''' ''[nervously]'' What are you going to do if I tell you?\
53'''Erik:''' [[MythologyGag Steal her away from the pretty boy kicking and screaming, and drag her down to my underground lair to make her my eternal bride]]. ''[{{beat}}]'' I am being ''sarcastic'', of course.
54-->-- ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2237049/1/Erik_The_Vampire_Hunter Erik: The Vampire Hunter]]''
55
56->'''Sif:''' You would call your brother a simpering Lady?\
57'''Loki:''' ''[dryly]'' The Lady Thor's womanly charm is unmatched by all but our mother.
58-->--''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7022388/1/Trials_of_the_Trickster_King Trials of the Trickster King]]'', Chapter Five (No, it is ''not'' a GenderFlip fic)
59
60->''"Right. Should have, should have. That's a really useful phrase, isn't it, [[ComicBook/CarolDanvers Carol]]? Bound to be a million uses for it. I should have gone to college. I should have been a working wife. I should have this, I should have that. I should have won ten million dollars in the lottery. But you know what, Carol? I didn't."''
61-->-- '''Marie Danvers''', ''Fanfic/APrizeForThreeEmpires''
62
63->'''Dan Turpin:''' Then call him and tell him to get his big blue bod to my precinct, on the double. Orion and his boys are back. And I don't want any more of my turf torn up like it was last time they were here. So get him here, so they can get out. Got it?\
64'''ComicBook/JimmyOlsen:''' Uh. Orion? The guy from the ''ComicBook/NewGods''?\
65'''Dan Turpin:''' No, I mean Paddy O'Ryan from County Cork. Of course, it's Orion from the New Gods! Now do it! Goodbye.
66-->-- ''Fanfic/HellsisterTrilogy''
67
68->''"However, the Royal Guard Regulations state in Rule Four Hundred and Nine, that 'in face of overwhelming stupidity, an officer is permitted to deploy sarcasm'(I appreciate the Princess' understanding of our position)."''
69-->-- '''Shining Armor''', ''Fanfic/PonyPOVSeries''
70
71->'''Kara:''' Something wrong, Mr. Giles?\
72'''[[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer Giles]]:''' I was just reflecting on some truly horrible movies that I used to watch as a child. Mostly, we saw them on TV... we had "Creature Features" in Britain, too. They must’ve been made in the Fifties and early Sixties. Monsters or aliens would land in a small town, a bunch of teenagers would be the only ones who knew about it, and they’d be forced to defeat the monster. Then they’d go back and hit the malt shop afterwards. When I got out of my youth, I thought those were the stupidest movies I’d ever seen. And now, God help me, it seems they’re a preparatory text for my life.
73-->-- ''Fanfic/TheVampireOfSteel''
74
75->'''Merlin''': Okay, seriously, can you stop it with the snark?! It's funny when it's someone else getting it, but I can't say I enjoy being on the receiving end!\
76'''Rikku''': "Snark" is my default mode. Deal with it.
77-->-- ''Webcomic/FateGamersOnly''
78
79->'''[[VideoGame/{{Skylanders}} Hugo]]''': ...{The forcefield creator}'s hidden in the Chompy Caverns.\
80'''Spyro''': (dryly) Well, isn't that fantastic.\
81'''Flynn''': (sigh) Well, I can definitely get you there, but I won't guarantee I'll be going in with you.
82-->-- ''Fanfic/SkylandersReturnToTheRuins'', "Chompy Caverns"
83[[/folder]]
84
85[[folder: Film - Animated]]
86->''"Wow. Washed up at fourteen. So sad."''
87-->-- '''Tadashi Hamada''', ''WesternAnimation/BigHero6''
88
89->'''Devon:''' We're trapped! Trapped!\
90'''Cornwall:''' Stuck here with you for five hundred years.\
91'''Devon''': Oh, dear, it's learned to count.\
92'''Cornwall:''' If you'd got me a good lawyer, I'd have split four hundred years ago.\
93'''Devon:''' Now listen here, pal, I didn't come here to be insulted.\
94'''Cornwall:''' Oh. Where d'ya usually go?
95-->--''WesternAnimation/QuestForCamelot''
96
97->''"There are some new recruits with us I should introduce. But I'm not going to because I don't care."''
98-->--'''Chief Bogo''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Zootopia}}''
99
100->'''ComicBook/{{Batman}}''': The kryptonite is near your heart. I don't know if I'll get it before the wound closes.\
101'''ComicBook/{{Superman}}''': Where's The Flash when you need him?\
102'''Batman''': Do me a favor and lose the sense of humor.\
103'''Superman''': Do us both a favor and buy one.
104-->--''WesternAnimation/SupermanBatmanPublicEnemies''
105
106->''"ComicBook/LexLuthor's attempt to win the presidency the old-fashioned way... by buying it, seems to be picking up steam. New polls show that 22% of Americans now support his third party bid. In a completely unrelated story, 22% of Americans now indicate a preference for getting *beep* in the *beep* with a red hot poker!"''
107-->--'''Newsaster''', ''WesternAnimation/SupermanBatmanPublicEnemies''
108
109->'''ComicBook/LexLuthor''': It had to be you! The one other person in the world smart enough to stop that meteor.\
110'''Toyman''': The *only* person smart enough. You couldn't do it, remember?
111-->--''WesternAnimation/SupermanBatmanPublicEnemies''
112
113->'''Miguel''': You said it yourself, it could be possible, and it is! It really *is* the map to El Dorado!\
114'''Tulio''': You drank sea water, didn't you?
115-->--''WesternAnimation/TheRoadToElDorado''
116
117->'''Miguel''': I... this... can't be...\
118'''Tulio''': Apparently, "El Dorado" is native for... GREAT... BIG... ROCK! But I'll tell you what: I'm feeling generous today, so *you* can have *my* share!\
119'''Miguel''': You don't think that... that Cortes could've gotten here before us and... and...\
120'''Tulio''': And what? Taken all the *really* big rocks? The SCOUNDREL!
121-->--''WesternAnimation/TheRoadToElDorado''
122
123->'''ComicBook/NickFury''': We're forming a team, Janet. I believe you'd be an asset.\
124'''[[ComicBook/TheWasp Janet Pym]]''': A team for what? Superhuman softball?
125-->--''WesternAnimation/UltimateAvengers''
126
127->'''Dr. Facilier''': Were I a betting man - and I'm not, I stay away from games of chance - I'd wager I'm in the company of visiting royalty.\
128'''Prince Naveen''': Lawrence, Lawrence! This remarkable gentleman has just read my palm!\
129'''Lawrence''': Or this morning's newspaper.
130-->--''WesternAnimation/ThePrincessAndTheFrog''
131
132->'''Lawrence''': Sire! I've been looking for you everywhere!\
133'''Prince Naveen''': What a coincidence, Lawrence. I've been ''avoiding'' you everywhere!
134-->--''WesternAnimation/ThePrincessAndTheFrog''
135
136->'''Ares''': You seem as eager to meet me on the battlefield as you once did in the bedroom, Hippolyta.\
137'''Hippolyta''': I only hope you prove more skilled in this arena, Ares.
138-->--''WesternAnimation/WonderWoman2009''
139
140->'''Alfred Pennyworth''': Late night playing cards, Master Bruce?\
141'''Batman''': Something like that. How did you know?\
142'''Alfred''': I believe tradition for hiding these up one's sleeve.\
143'''Batman''': Was that sarcasm, Alfred?\
144'''Alfred''': Mild teasing, at best. I'm being uncharacteristically gentle with you mainly because you're bleeding all over my nice clean floor.
145-->--''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeagueDoom''
146
147->'''Superman''': Nice outfit.\
148'''Lois Lane''': Thanks. If I knew I was gonna be abducted, I might have skipped the heels.
149-->--''WesternAnimation/SupermanUnbound''
150
151->'''Grifter''': I like your style, Batman. A pity we never teamed up when the world still existed.\
152'''Batman''': Batman and Grifter, the boy idiot.
153-->--''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeagueTheFlashpointParadox''
154
155->'''Alfred Pennyworth''': I hope this isn't too cramped for you. That door heads to your bath. The other, to a game room. And you also have this far your amusement. Naturally, you have the run of the mansion.\
156'''Damian Wayne''': Of course. I know that. Prepare some tea, Pennyworth.\
157'''Alfred''': Brown sugar instead of white, fresh-cut lemon. A china cup. Perhaps master would like some warm mixed nuts and a moist hand towel.\
158'''Damian''': Watch yourself, Pennyworth. I'm not so young that I don't understand sarcasm.\
159'''Alfred''': While I am much too old to care.
160-->--''WesternAnimation/SonOfBatman''
161
162-> '''Merryweather:''' It looks awful. \
163'''Flora:''' That's because it's on you, dear.
164-->--''WesternAnimation/SleepingBeauty''
165[[/folder]]
166
167[[folder:Film - Live-Action]]
168->'''Reggie Hammond''': You got a lady, Cates?\
169'''Jack Cates''': Yeah.\
170'''Reggie''': You know, the generosity of women never ceases to amaze me.
171-->--''Film/FortyEightHrs''
172
173->'''Reggie Hammond''': Jack... Tell me a story.\
174'''Jack Cates''': Fuck you!\
175'''Reggie''': Oh, that's one of my favorites!
176-->--''Film/FortyEightHrs''
177
178->'''Elaine''': You know, if you let me come over to your place once in a while you could put on a clean shirt in the morning.\
179'''Jack Cates''': What makes you think I got any clean shirts in my place?
180-->--''Film/FortyEightHrs''
181
182->'''Sgt. Schenley''': Well, they have one thing in common.\
183'''Inspector Trout''': If you say they all died mysteriously, I'll bloody kill you.
184-->--''Film/TheAbominableDrPhibes''
185
186->'''Sherman Schrader''': Yeah, cool guys. [[ASimplePlan Let's start this fake college]], and then we'll go start a meth lab somewhere. Come on, it's a gateway crime. That's how these things start.
187-->-- ''Film/{{Accepted}}''
188
189->'''Young Girl:''' And then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and left a diamond under a leaf in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!\
190'''Pugsley:''' Our parents are having a baby, too.\
191'''Wednesday:''' [[BrutalHonesty They had sex.]]
192-->-- ''Film/AddamsFamilyValues''
193
194->'''Margo Channing:''' What are you doing here, Addison? I distinctly remember crossing you off my guest list.
195->'''Addison De Witt:''' Dear Margo, you were an unforgettable Peter Pan, you must play it again soon. You remember Miss Gene Caswell?
196->'''Margo:''' I do not, how do you do?
197-->--''Film/AllAboutEve''
198
199->'''Duke Henry''': I am Henry the Red, Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its peoples.\
200'''Ash Williams''': Well, hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and shit... and Jack left town.
201-->--''Film/ArmyOfDarkness''
202
203->'''Alfred Pennyworth''': Master Wayne, you've been gone a long time.\
204'''Bruce Wayne''': Yes I have.\
205'''Alfred''': You look very fashionable. Apart from the mud.
206-->--''Film/BatmanBegins''
207
208->''"Tell me the difference between stupid and illegal and I'll have my wife's brother arrested."''
209-->--'''Jared Bennett''', ''Film/TheBigShort''
210
211->''"Nash, I don't think you could pick your nose without written instructions."''
212-->--'''Lieutenant Fuller''', ''Film/BlackChristmas1974''
213
214->'''Doctor''': You're lucky, Black Dynamite. Three inches to the left and we wouldn't even be having this conversation.\
215'''Black Dynamite''': Three inches to the right, and it would've missed my black ass.
216-->--''Film/BlackDynamite''
217
218->'''Nancy''': I'm not just a dumb blonde, you know.\
219'''Annie''': Who says you're a blonde?
220-->--''Film/BloodyPitOfHorror''
221
222->'''Bonnie Parker''': You're good!\
223'''Clyde Barrow''': I ain't good. I'm the best!\
224'''Bonnie''': And modest!
225-->--''Film/BonnieAndClyde''
226
227->'''The Priest''': Would they ever harm an innocent person for any reason?\
228'''Paul Smecker''': No, they would never do that. Well, the two Irish guys wouldn't. The Italian guy, he might. He's kind of an idiot.
229-->--''Film/TheBoondockSaints''
230
231->''"Now that Duffy has relinquished his 'King Bonehead' crown, I see we have an heir to the throne!"''
232-->--'''Paul Smecker''', ''Film/TheBoondockSaints''
233
234->''"Walter has a clear mind. One day something will enter it, feel lonely... and leave again."''
235-->--'''Maxwell H. Brock''', ''Film/ABucketOfBlood''
236
237->'''Buffy Summers''': I have something that the other girls didn't have.\
238'''Merrick Jamison-Smythe''': And what might that be, pray?\
239'''Buffy''': My keen fashion sense!\
240'''Merrick''': Oh, vampires of the world beware.
241-->--''Film/BuffyTheVampireSlayer''
242
243->'''Megan''': Your parents didn't stay very long.\
244'''Graham''': Well, I imagine it gets uncomfortable sitting that long with a stick up your ass.
245-->--''Film/ButImACheerleader''
246
247->'''Judge Elihu Smails''': You know, you should play with Dr. Beeper and myself. I mean, he's been club champion for three years running and I'm no slouch myself.\
248'''Ty Webb''': Don't sell yourself short, Judge, you're a tremendous slouch.
249-->--''Film/{{Caddyshack}}''
250
251->'''Vesper Lynd:''' So, as charming as you are, Mr. Bond, I will be keeping my eye on our government's money and off of your perfectly formed arse.
252->'''James Bond:''' You noticed.
253-->--''Film/CasinoRoyale2006''
254
255->'''Amos Hackshaw''': Do you realize how long they've waited for me? Centuries! Millennia!\
256'''Phil Lovecraft''': How long is that in dog years?
257-->--''Film/CastADeadlySpell''
258
259->''"We have no secrets from our readers. Mr. Thatcher is one of our most devoted readers, Mr. Bernstein. He knows what's wrong with every issue since I've taken charge."''
260-->--'''Charles Foster Kane''', ''Film/CitizenKane''
261
262->'''Bruce Wayne''': You look tired, Alfred. You'll be all right without me?\
263'''Alfred Pennyworth''': You can tell me the Russian for "Apply your own bloody suntan lotion."
264-->--''Film/TheDarkKnight''
265
266->'''Mistress''': Can't we go someplace quieter? We can't hear each other talk.\
267'''Sal Maroni''': What makes you think I want to hear you talk?
268-->--''Film/TheDarkKnight''
269
270->'''Nero the Hero''': You're blocking me, Cleopatra! My fans want to see me!\
271'''Cleopatra''': Why, they've never seen a has-been before?
272-->--''Film/DeathRace2000''
273
274->'''Simon Phoenix''': What's this? Six of you. Such nice, tidy uniforms. Oh I'm so scared!\
275'''Police Officers''': *look at each other, confused*\
276'''Phoenix''': What, you guys don't have sarcasm anymore?
277-->--''Film/DemolitionMan''
278
279->'''Goat''': Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the Devil walketh about seeking whom he may devour.\
280'''Dean Portman''': That's real comforting Goat, that ain't freaking me out at all.
281-->--''Film/{{Doom}}''
282
283->''"Ingenious, Felton; only you could keep such a good brain under such a bad hat."''
284-->--'''King Einon''', ''Film/{{Dragonheart}}''
285
286->'''Einon''': The peasants are revolting!\
287'''Brok''': They've always been revolting, Prince. But *now*, they're rebelling.
288-->--''Film/{{Dragonheart}}''
289
290->'''Judge Dredd''': I'm wondering when you'd remember you left your helmet behind.\
291'''Cassandra Anderson''': Sir, a helmet can interfere with my psychic abilities.\
292'''Dredd''': Think a bullet might interfere with them more.
293-->--''Film/{{Dredd}}''
294
295->'''Davidge''': Where would you be without me, huh?\
296'''Jerry''': Back home.
297-->--''Film/EnemyMine''
298
299->'''Gas Station Attendant''': Just passing through, huh? Boy, that motor's sure hot! You gals really must have been moving on these little machines. Yessir, the thrill of the open road. New places, new people, new sights of interest. Now that's what I believe in, seeing America first!\
300'''Varla''': You won't find it down there, Columbus!
301-->--''Film/FasterPussycatKillKill''
302
303->'''Amy''': Well what happens if you go into that house alone, and he gets *you*? Who's gonna stop him then?\
304'''Evil Ed''': Yeah, then he'll be able to suck his way through the entire town... but it wouldn't be much of a loss.
305-->--''Film/FrightNight1985''
306
307->'''Partygoer''': Dance?\
308'''Vega''': No, maybe later but probably never.
309-->--''Film/{{Frostbite}}''
310
311->'''Alec Trevelyan:''' James Bond. What an unpleasant surprise.
312->'''James Bond:''' We aim to please.
313-->-- ''Film/{{Goldeneye}}''
314
315->'''Jeff Kohlver''': Fuck off.\
316'''Hayley Stark''': Your conversational skills are really deteriorating as the day goes on.
317-->--''Film/HardCandy''
318
319->'''Marcus''': Can you spot me?\
320'''Ben''': What, you don't have any cash?\
321'''Marcus''': No, I'm just not paying for this bullshit.
322-->--''Film/{{Hatchet}}''
323
324->''"Don't go away angry. Just...just go away."''
325-->--'''Jones''', ''Film/HeartbreakRidge''
326
327->'''Ernie''': Gee, we don't get any smokes from you. We don't get any cash. What am I supposed to do with my afternoon?\
328'''Max''': Maybe you could learn to breathe through your nose.
329-->--''Film/HocusPocus''
330
331->'''Miriam Bucknell''': I am not the only one who thought there was a ghost in this house, Kylie. I fact, you used to be so terrified you could not sleep.\
332'''Kylie Bucknell''': Yeah, I also used to think the Moon was made of cheese. It is called childhood.
333-->--''Film/{{Housebound}}''
334
335->''"Anyone who says there's no such thing as a bad egg obviously hasn't worked in social services."''
336-->--'''Dennis''', ''Film/{{Housebound}}''
337
338->'''Deputy Foster''': What the hell's eating him?\
339'''Deputy Pullman''': I bet you it ain't his girlfriend.
340-->--''Film/JackFrost1997''
341
342->'''Driver #1''': That murdering bastard Jack Frost in there is one lucky son of a bitch.\
343'''Driver #2''': Lucky? He's being executed in thirty minutes!\
344'''Driver #1''': Yeah, but at least he doesn't have to drive back through this crap.\
345'''Driver #2''': Deep fried Jack served at midnight!
346-->--''Film/JackFrost1997''
347
348->''"I'm not going to waste my time arguing with a man who's lining up to be a hot lunch."''
349-->--'''Hooper''', ''Film/{{Jaws}}''
350
351->''"You have never been a more endangered species than you are at this moment."''
352-->-- '''Baloo''', ''Film/TheJungleBook2016''
353
354->'''John Myers''': Did you ever lose track of him?\
355'''ComicBook/{{Hellboy}}''': Well let's see - there was that moment, when I had the train on top of my head...
356-->--''Film/Hellboy2004''
357
358->'''Abe Sapien''': You've been burned by some kind of organic acid.\
359'''ComicBook/{{Hellboy}}''': I'm lucky that way.
360-->--''Film/Hellboy2004''
361
362->'''John Myers''': Hey, no one goes with him? Jesus.\
363'''Abe Sapien''': No, he likes it that way. The whole "lonely hero" thing.
364-->--''Film/Hellboy2004''
365
366->''"Hey, stinky! Kitchen's closed! Whatcha havin'? Six library guards raw, plus belts and boots? Man... you're gonna need some heavy fiber to move that out."''
367-->--'''ComicBook/{{Hellboy}}''' to '''Sammael''', ''Film/Hellboy2004''
368
369->'''Vincent''': "Patience is the chief virtue for those who have faith." Mahatma Gandhi, New Delhi, 1946.\
370'''Lt. Mike London''': "Up your ass." Lieutenant Mike London, Shit Creek, the year is now.
371-->--''Film/HellOfTheLivingDead''
372
373->''"It's heartening to see so many strange, new faces here today. I know my mom would be very touched, and probably a little suspicious."''
374-->--'''Annie''', ''Film/{{Hereditary}}''
375
376->'''Phil Blumburtt''': Did you find the toolbox?\
377'''ComicBook/HowardTheDuck''': Yeah, I know why you want a toolbox - you got a screw loose.
378-->--''Film/HowardTheDuck''
379
380->'''Theatre Patron #1''': Say, what is it, anyhow?\
381'''Theatre Patron #2''': I hear it's a kind of gorilla.\
382'''Theatre Patron #3''': Gee, ain't we got enough of them in New York?
383-->--''Film/KingKong1933''
384
385->'''Kelly Scott''': His scales were oval. He's an Asian crocodile.\
386'''Sheriff Hank Keough''': Why... why would he come here? I mean, it's impossible. Asia. How would he get here?\
387'''Hector Cyr''': Obviously some asshole in Hong Kong flushed him down the toilet.
388-->--''Film/LakePlacid''
389
390->'''Sheriff Hank Keough''': I'm a little unclear as to why the museum would send somebody here.\
391'''Kelly Scott''': You got a thing against museums?\
392'''Hank''': Naw, I got nothin' against museums.\
393'''Kelly''': Ever been in one?
394-->--''Film/LakePlacid''
395
396->'''Jack Wells''': It's not a science trip.\
397'''Kelly Scott''': Could you be a little more condescending? 'Cause I'm not real great with subtlety.
398-->--''Film/LakePlacid''
399
400->'''Brown Tom''': Goblins... shot me through me brain pan!\
401'''Screwball''': That's one place an arrow won't do no harm!
402-->--''Film/Legend1985''
403
404->'''Eloise''': If you got cold feet honey, I'll take over for you. That little red dress of yours fits me just perfect.\
405'''Kiki Walker''': Someday you'll try on my coffin and I hope it fits you just perfect.
406-->--''Film/TheLeopardMan''
407
408->''"It may sound like music to her. I can do better with my teeth in a cold shower."''
409-->--'''Kiki Walker''', ''Film/TheLeopardMan''
410
411->'''Ozzie''': You'd better watch your mouth. Go wash it out with soap right now, boy.\
412'''Alex''': Sure, sure. And right after that, Ozzie, I'll be sure to ground myself for two weeks.
413-->--''Film/{{Leprechaun}}''
414
415->'''Roger Murtaugh''': What the hell, thin's my middle name.\
416'''Martin Riggs''': Your wife's cooking, I'm not surprised.
417-->--''Film/LethalWeapon1987''
418
419->'''Ivan Vanko''': My father is the reason you're alive.\
420'''[[ComicBook/IronMan Tony Stark]]''': No, the reason I'm alive is because you made a shot, and you missed.
421-->--''Film/IronMan2''
422
423->''"Let the record reflect that I observe Mr. Hammer entering the chamber and I am wondering if and when any actual expert will also be in attendance."''
424-->--'''[[ComicBook/IronMan Tony Stark]]''', ''Film/IronMan2''
425
426->'''World Security Council''': Director Fury, the council has made a decision.\
427'''ComicBook/NickFury''': I recognize the council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it.
428-->--''Film/TheAvengers2012''
429
430->'''[[ComicBook/TheIncredibleHulk Bruce Banner]]''': Captain America is on threat watch?\
431'''[[ComicBook/BlackWidow Natasha Romanoff]]: We ALL are!\
432'''[[ComicBook/IronMan Tony Stark]]''': You're on that list? Are you above or below angry bees?\
433'''[[ComicBook/CaptainAmerica Steve Rogers]]: I swear, Stark, one more wisecrack out of you...\
434'''Tony''': Verbal threat! Threatening! I'm being threatened!
435-->--''Film/TheAvengers2012''
436
437->'''Brandt''': Is that all you've got? A cheap trick and a cheesy one-liner?\
438'''[[ComicBook/IronMan Tony Stark]]''': Sweetheart, that could be the name of my autobiography.
439-->--''Film/IronMan3''
440
441->'''ComicBook/LadySif''': I've got this completely under control!\
442'''[[ComicBook/TheMightyThor Thor]]''': Is that why everything's on fire?
443-->--''Film/ThorTheDarkWorld''
444
445->'''Volstagg''': Escorting these scoundrels is beneath us.\
446'''Fandral''': Nonsense, my rotund friend. If they were beneath you, they would all be dead!
447-->--''Film/ThorTheDarkWorld''
448
449->'''[[ComicBook/TheFalcon Sam Wilson]]''': 41st floor! 41st!\
450'''ComicBook/NickFury''': It's not like they put the floor numbers on the outside of the building!
451-->--''Film/CaptainAmericaTheWinterSoldier''
452
453->'''Alexander Pierce''': I work forty floors away and it takes a hijacking for you to visit?\
454'''ComicBook/NickFury''': Well, a nuclear war would do it too.
455-->--''Film/CaptainAmericaTheWinterSoldier''
456
457->'''Dr. Helen Cho''': You'll be made of you, Mr. Barton. Your own girlfriend won't be able to tell the difference.\
458'''[[ComicBook/{{Hawkeye}} Clint Barton]]''': Well, I don't have a girlfriend.\
459'''Cho''': That I can't fix.
460-->--''Film/AvengersAgeOfUltron''
461
462->'''Hank Pym''': Darren, how the hell did you get in here?\
463'''Darren Cross''': You left the front door open, Hank. It's official; you're old.
464-->--''Film/AntMan1''
465
466->'''Wong''': I am now the guardian of these books. So if a volume from this collection should be stolen again, I'd know it, and you'd be dead before you ever left the compound.\
467'''Stephen Strange''': What if it's just overdue? You know. Any late fees I should know about? Maiming, perhaps?
468-->--''Film/DoctorStrange2016''
469
470->''"I thought it'd be nicer. I mean, not that it's not nice. It's just, it's on fire."''
471-->--'''Bruce Banner''' on Asgard, ''Film/ThorRagnarok''
472
473->'''Janis Ian''': What is that smell?\
474'''Cady Heron''': Oh, Regina gave me some perfume.\
475'''Janis''': You smell like a baby prostitute.
476-->--''Film/MeanGirls''
477
478->''"I just wanted to say that you're all winners. And that I couldn't be happier the school year is ending."''
479-->--'''Mr. Duvall''', ''Film/MeanGirls''
480
481->'''Jonathan Mardukas''': I'll give you whatever you want.\
482'''Jack Walsh''': Start by shutting up. I know you all of two minutes and already I don't like ya.
483-->--''Film/MidnightRun''
484
485->'''Jonathan Mardukas''': What you think Serrano is most afraid of?\
486'''Jack Walsh''': Going cross-country with you!
487-->--''Film/MidnightRun''
488
489->'''Sheriff Buster [=McCain=]''': I figure that if I can't find Paul Sheldon, at least I'll find out what he wrote about.\
490'''Virginia [=McCain=]''': Well, what do you expect to find? A story about a guy who drove his car off a cliff in a snowstorm?\
491'''Buster''': You see, it's just that kind of sarcasm that's given our marriage real spice.
492-->--''Film/{{Misery}}''
493
494->'''Sheriff Buster [=McCain=]''': Virginia, when you're in this car, you're not my wife, you're my deputy.\
495'''Virginia [=McCain=]''': Well, this deputy would rather be home under the covers with the sheriff.
496-->--''Film/{{Misery}}''
497
498->'''Chief of Police''': Fred, have you flipped out, or are you trying to give me an ulcer? A smart-ass coroner comes out with a little verbal diarrhea, and you immediately go around declaring there's a maniac loose in the city.\
499'''Lt. Fred Williams''': Yeah, so what do you want me to say? A boy scout's been widdling on girls with his knife?
500-->--''Film/TheNewYorkRipper''
501
502->'''Yegor''': Mom? Mom! Are vampires real?\
503'''Irina''': Yes, Yegor. They are little boys who have been known to suck all the life out of their parents.
504-->--''Film/NightWatch''
505
506->'''Miss Stucco''': Your rights stop where Jesus says they do, and Jesus didn't like nudity.\
507'''Mrs. Druple''': Well, Jesus must love hemorrhoids because he sure got a lot of assholes behind him.
508-->--''Film/NudistColonyOfTheDead''
509
510->'''Dr. Herman Gottlieb''': This is all wrong! There should be three kaijus coming through, not two!\
511'''Dr. Newton Geiszler''': There should be three and there's two? I'm sorry, it hurts to be wrong, don't it, Hermann?
512-->--''Film/PacificRim''
513
514->'''Jody''': What's out there?\
515'''Mike''': I don't know. It was little, brown and low to the ground.\
516'''Jody''': Ahh, it was probably just a gopher in heat.
517-->--''Film/{{Phantasm}}''
518
519->'''James Norrington:''' You are, without doubt, the worst pirate I've ever heard of.
520->'''Jack Sparrow:''' But you ''have'' heard of me.
521-->-- ''Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanTheCurseOfTheBlackPearl''
522
523-> '''Jack Sparrow''' ''[having just proposed a plan that would put himself in danger]'' ''':''' What have you got to lose?
524->'''James Norrington:''' Nothing I'd lament being rid of.
525-->-- ''Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanTheCurseOfTheBlackPearl''
526
527->'''Steve Freeling''': Tomorrow I'm going to call someone.\
528'''Diane Freeling''': Like who? I looked in the Yellow Pages. "Furniture Movers" we've got; "Strange Phenomenon", there's no listing.
529-->--''Film/Poltergeist1982''
530
531->'''Dillon''': Never knew how much I missed this, Dutch.\
532'''Dutch''': You never were that smart.
533-->--''Film/{{Predator}}''
534
535->'''Lady Tanaka''': Do you know how much pain $10,000 can buy?\
536'''ComicBook/ThePunisher''': Is this question true or false, or multiple choice?
537-->--''Film/ThePunisher1989''
538
539->'''Howard Hallenbeck''': Bored? How can you be bored? This is the land of your forefathers.\
540'''Robbie Hallenbeck''': Yeah, and they left.
541-->--''Film/RawheadRex''
542
543->'''Dan Cain''': You can call, or write a note!\
544'''Herbert West''': I was busy pushing bodies around as you well know and what would a note say, Dan? "Cat dead, details later"?
545-->--''Film/ReAnimator''
546
547->''"Who's going to believe a talking head? Get a job in a sideshow."''
548-->--'''Herbert West''', ''Film/ReAnimator''
549
550->'''Nick Walker''': I'm dead?\
551'''Proctor''': Let's be honest. Being a dirty cop is one of the higher shot-in-the-face percentage jobs.
552-->--''Film/{{RIPD}}''
553
554->'''Newsreel Announcer''': [[UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler Herr Hitler]] assures the western powers he is not massing troops at the Czech border. Here comes the Fuehrer's latest symbol of German progress, the airship Luxembourg, beginning its American tour to promote world peace.\
555'''Cliff Secord''': World peace? What he means is a piece of the world!
556-->--''Film/TheRocketeer''
557
558->''"Zombie! Carl's a zombie! No longer a soulless, mindless, walking-dead corporate zombie, but a real zombie!"''
559-->--'''Iggy''', ''Film/TheSlaughter''
560
561->'''Mitchell Garabedian''': I'm Armenian. How many Armenians do you know in Boston?\
562'''Mike Rezendes''': Steve Kurkjian, works at the Globe...\
563'''Garabedian''': Oh. That's two. You should get a prize or something.
564-->--''Film/{{Spotlight}}''
565
566->'''[=McCoy=]''': Hey, look, I did real good back there!\
567'''Tom Cody''': So what? I'm all outta medals! Besides, you're gettin' paid.
568-->--''Film/StreetsOfFire''
569
570->'''Atticus Finch''': Good Afternoon Miss Dubose... My, you look like a picture this afternoon.\
571'''Scout''': *whispering* He don't say a picture of what.
572-->--''Film/ToKillAMockingbird''
573
574->''"The defense department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid. Great balls of fire!"''
575-->--'''Goose''', ''Film/TopGun''
576
577->'''Earl Bassett''': Damn it, listen to me. I'm older and wiser.\
578'''Valentine [=McKee=]''': Yeah, well you're half right.
579-->--''Film/{{Tremors}}''
580
581->'''Malica''': Give me a break. Do you all actually believe in trolls?\
582'''Hans''': You think a squirrel rampaged through here?
583-->--''Film/TheTrollHunter''
584
585->'''Peter Loew''': How could somebody MIS-file something? What could be easier? It's all alphabetical. You just PUT it IN the RIGHT FILE! According to ALPHABETICAL ORDER! You know - A, B, C, D, E, F, G! H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P! Q, R, S, T, U, V! W, X, Y, Z! HUH? THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO!\
586'''Dr. Glaser''': Very good, you know your alphabet.
587-->--''Film/VampiresKiss''
588
589->'''Robert Graysmith''': So who is this guy?\
590'''Paul Avery''': He wants to remain anonymous, I wish to remain infamous... so we'll get along great.
591-->--''Film/{{Zodiac|2007}}''
592[[/folder]]
593
594[[folder: Literature]]
595->Their little band of adventurers needed another smart-ass like they needed ten years of bad luck.
596-->-- ''Literature/ArtemisFowl''
597
598->'''Sam Vimes''' ''[while dressed in nothing but his underwear in the middle of a forest, with his friend suggesting he put some clothes on before the girl who helped rescue him comes back]'' ''':''' I'll give you five minutes to find a clothes shop, shall I?
599-->-- ''Literature/TheFifthElephant''
600
601->''"Division of labor. I come up with the plans, and [[SnarkyNonHumanSidekick you]] laugh at them."''
602-->-- '''Vlad Taltos''', ''Literature/{{Iorich}}''
603
604->'''Actor:''' Are you always a wise-ass?\
605'''Harry:''' No, sometimes I'm asleep.
606-->--''Literature/BloodRites''
607
608->''Rest assured, I’m not hurt in the least, that you chose to thank him before you thanked me. I mean, I was only the man who stood by and [[KarmaHoudini helped you through the system]] after the ill-timed [[spoiler: murder of Alexandria and Director Tagg,]] right in front of me, but yes. The man who gives fashion advice is a higher priority.''
609-->-- '''Quinn Calle''', ''Literature/{{Worm}}''
610
611->''"Haven't you heard of science's latest triumph? The doorbell."''
612-->-- '''Waldo Lydecker''', ''Literature/{{Laura}}''
613
614->'''Harry''': So what is an Unbreakable Vow?\
615'''Ron''': [[CaptainObvious Well, you can't break an Unbreakable Vow]].\
616'''Harry''': I figured that out for myself, funnily enough.
617-->-- ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince''
618
619->"Some time ago, in the cathedral of Cologne, I saw the skull of John the Baptist at the age of twelve."\
620"Really?" I exclaimed, amazed. Then, [[FridgeLogic seized by doubt]], I added, "But the Baptist was executed at a more advanced age!"\
621"The other skull must be in another treasury," [[TheSnarkKnight William]] said, with a grave face. I never understood when he was jesting. In my country, when you joke you say something and then you laugh very noisily, so that everyone shares the joke. But William laughed only when he said serious things, and [[TheComicallySerious remained very serious when he was presumably joking]].
622-->-- ''Literature/TheNameOfTheRose''
623
624->'''[[FrontlineGeneral Rear Admiral Alexander Koenig]]:''' I don't believe in "[[TheEmpire galactic empires]]". ''[snorts]'' The whole idea is silly, given [[SpaceIsBig the size of the galaxy]].\
625'''[[TheCaptain Captain Randolph Buchanan]]:''' Well, the [[BigBad Sh'daar]] appear to believe in the concept, Admiral. And I doubt very much that it matters whether they agree with you on the point or not.
626-->-- ''Literature/StarCarrier: Earth Strike''
627
628->'''Keith:''' Er... how will we know it's the entrance to a secret passage? What does a secret passage entrance ''look'' like?
629->'''Malicia:''' It won't ''look'' like one, of course!
630->'''Maurice:''' Oh, ''well'', in that case I see dozens of secret passages. Doors, windows, that calendar from the Acme Poison Company, that cupboard over there, that rathole, that desk, that-
631->'''Malicia:''' You're just being sarcastic.
632->'''Maurice:''' Actually, I was just being flippant, but I can do sarcastic if you like.
633-->-- ''Literature/TheAmazingMauriceAndHisEducatedRodents''
634
635->'''Jake:''' <You okay?>
636->'''Marco:''' <Oh, yeah, I'm great. [[NotTheFallThatKillsYou I fell about a billion feet and landed on a steel trampoline]]. Couldn't be better.>
637->'''Rachel:''' <Sarcasm. [[PluckyComicRelief He must be okay]].>
638-->-- ''Literature/{{Animorphs}} #10: The Android''
639
640-> "Did you ''eat'' a rulebook?" Finnah asks archly.\
641"They're delicious as a chiffonade with lemon juice," Amaia says. And she says this exactly the same way she says everything else, not even slightly giggling at her own joke, so it takes Finnah a tick to laugh.
642-->-- ''Literature/{{Elcenia}}''
643
644->'''Thomas:''' [[CaptainObvious You're dead.]]
645->'''[[CuteGhostGirl Mary]]:''' I know! As it happens, I was one of the first people to figure that out. It’s like I was there when it happened.
646-->-- ''Literature/InCryptid'' "Take the Shot"
647[[/folder]]
648
649[[folder: Live-Action TV]]
650->'''Joey:''' My character is coming out of his coma! [...] And not only that, [[MakesSenseInContext I'm getting a new brain!]]\
651'''Chandler:''' So great things are happening at work ''and'' in your personal life!
652-->-- ''Series/{{Friends}}'', "The One with Joey's New Brain"
653
654->'''The Doctor:''' ''(picks up [[ItMakesSenseInContext Hydroflax's disembodied head]])'' We have to assume the body is homing in on this.\
655'''River:''' So how do we stop it?\
656'''The Doctor:''' Well, we could chop his head off. ''(holds up head)'' Oh, look!\
657'''River:''' Does sarcasm help?\
658'''The Doctor:''' Wouldn't it be a great universe if it did?
659-->-- ''Series/DoctorWho'', "The Husbands of River Song"
660
661->'''Carly:''' I can't do ''iCarly'' without Sam, she's my co-host!\
662'''Brad:''' Sorry, but our executives found her pushy and aggressive.\
663'''Freddie:''' ...She '''is''' pushy and aggressive!\
664'''Carly:''' That's her thing!
665-->--''Series/ICarly'', "iCarly Saves TV"
666
667->'''Clarkson:''' ''[standing in front of the Mercedes' boot]'' Are you ready for ''this''?\
668''[Clarkson pushes a button and the boot lid closes]''\
669'''May:''' That's brilliant, actually, I have to concede that, because what I've always found really difficult is this. ''[closes the boot lid by hand]''
670-->-- ''Series/TopGearUK''
671
672->'''Frasier:''' When was the last time you had an unexpressed thought?\
673'''Niles:''' I'm having one now.
674-->-- The [[EstablishingCharacterMoment Establishing Character/Relationship Moment]], ''Series/{{Frasier}}''
675
676->'''Cylon Pilot:''' Sir, if I may.\
677'''Baltar:''' Not now. I don't want to miss a moment of the last battlestar's destruction.\
678'''Cylon Pilot:''' I really think you should take a look at the other battlestar.
679-->--''Series/{{Battlestar Galactica|1978}}''
680
681->'''Charlie:''' I don't pay you to insult me!\
682'''[[ServileSnarker Berta]]:''' You'd have to pay me not to.
683-->-- ''Series/TwoAndAHalfMen''
684
685->''Your brain is so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, [[YourBrainWontBeMuchOfAMeal there wouldn’t enough inside to cover a small water biscuit]].''
686-->-- '''Edmund Blackadder''', ''Series/{{Blackadder}}''
687
688->'''Woman''': There are two things you must know about the wise woman. One... she is ''a woman''. And two... she is...
689->'''Blackadder''': Wise?
690->'''Woman''': You ''do'' know her, then?
691->'''Blackadder''': No, no, just a wild stab in the dark. Which, is incidentally what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful.
692-->-- ''Series/{{Blackadder}}''
693
694->''"Do you have any idea how long someone as sarcastic as I am would last in prison? ''Such'' a long time."''
695-->-- '''Jeff Winger''', ''Series/{{Community}}''
696
697->'''Peter Hastings''': Please don't be sarcastic, Spencer.
698->'''Spencer Hastings''': That's, like, the mother tongue in this house.
699-->-- ''Series/PrettyLittleLiars''
700
701->''"She's a sarcastronaut and she rides an ironicycle."''
702-->-- '''JP''', ''Series/FreshMeat''
703
704->''"I provide ... much needed sarcasm."''
705-->-- '''Anya Jenkins''', ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer''
706
707->''I'm not sure if you're aware, Tom, but the mob isn't generally in the habit of electing ungodly apostates who denigrate people of faith.''
708-->-- '''Gaius Baltar''', ''Series/BattlestarGalactica2003''
709
710->'''Regina:''' ''(holds up rotten [[FantasticFruitsAndVegetables apples]])'' My tree is dying. Why?\
711'''Gold:''' Perhaps it's your fertilizer.
712-->-- ''Series/OnceUponATime'', "An Apple Red as Blood"
713[[/folder]]
714
715[[folder: Newspaper Comics]]
716->'''Dilbert:''' On this graph, I have plotted the frequency of snide comments that you have made about me. I'm happy to report that the recent trend is downward. See the big dip?\
717'''Dogbert:''' Get out your pencil...
718-->-- ''ComicStrip/{{Dilbert}}''
719[[/folder]]
720
721[[folder: Video Games]]
722->''"That's what I'm here for. To deliver unpleasant news and witty one-liners."''
723-->-- '''Alistair''', ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins''
724
725->'''Sten:''' Interesting strategy. Tell me, do you intend to keep going north until it becomes south and attack the Archdemon from the rear?
726->'''Warden:''' It'll never see this coming.
727->'''Sten:''' Truly, it would surprise me if my enemy counter-attacked by running away and climbing a mountain.
728-->-- ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins''
729
730->'''Morrigan:''' I do not fear the moon so I need stories so that I may sleep at night.
731->'''Leliana:''' So...you don't believe in any higher power at all? Doesn't that get lonely?
732->'''Morrigan:''' Wow. You saw through my cold exterior and saw the bleating lamb just begging for love and guidance! Thank you!
733->'''Leliana:''' ...you appear to be mocking me.
734->'''Morrigan:''' You noticed!? Your powers of perception know no bounds!
735-->-- ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins''
736
737->'''Wynne:''' Have you given any thought to your future, Shale?
738->'''Shale:''' I was thinking I might, oh, join the Chantry. Become Divine. And have giant Andraste golems fashioned to conquer the lands!
739->'''Wynne:''' Truly?
740->'''Shale:''' No-ooo.
741-->-- ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins''
742
743->'''Shale:''' I have a question it may be able to answer, elder mage.
744->'''Wynne:''' Must it always be "elder mage?" I am not a wizened old crone just yet.
745->'''Shale:''' Would it prefer "mage well past her prime, don't mind the sagging bits?"
746-->-- ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins''
747
748->'''Teagan:''' It's... Tomas, yes? And who are these people with you? They are obviously not simple travelers.
749->'''Shale:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh, good eye!]]
750-->-- ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins''
751
752
753->'''[[TheExile The Red Prince]]''': (after spotting a large pool of water) I fancy a swim.\
754'''[[VitriolicBestBuds Sebille]]''': You need a bath
755-->-- ''VideoGame/DivinityOriginalSinII''
756
757-> [[AC: ''Since it doesn't look like we're going anywhere - well, we ''are'' going somewhere; alarmingly fast, actually - but since we're not busy other than that, here's a couple of facts.'']]
758-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]''' while [[spoiler: freefalling down a BottomlessPit]], ''VideoGame/Portal2''
759
760->''A totally respectable showing. I mean, BEFORE you messed up and ended up dead.''
761-->-- '''The Killer''', ''VideoGame/TheJackboxPartyPack''
762
763->''Apparently pressing a couple of buttons is more difficult than I had previously thought.''
764-->-- '''M.O.T.H.E.R''', ''VideoGame/TheJackboxPartyPack''
765
766->'''Lashowe:''' Do you know how many Sith there are on this planet?\
767'''Jolee Bindo:''' Twelve! No, wait! Thirteen!\
768'''Canderous Ordo:''' [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Nice one, old man]].\
769'''Jolee Bindo:''' Thank you. It takes effort to be properly irreverent at my age.
770-->-- ''VideoGame/KnightsOfTheOldRepublic''
771
772->'''[[TheDragon Walton Simons]]''': You take another step forward, and here I am again, like your own reflection repeated in a hall of mirrors.
773->'''JC Denton''': That makes me one ugly son of a bitch. How'd my face get all marked-up with bioelectrics?
774-->-- ''VideoGame/DeusEx''
775
776->'''Agent Milton''': You're a wanted man, Mr. Morgan. There's five thousand dollars for your head, alone.\
777'''Arthur Morgan''': Five thousand dollars? For me? (''{{beat}}'') Can I turn myself in?
778-->-- ''VideoGame/RedDeadRedemption2''
779[[/folder]]
780
781[[folder: Web Original]]
782->'''Suicide''': It's just getting interesting, albeit in a car-wreck-reminiscent way, and you chicken out of the Duty? What does that make you?\
783'''Ithalond''': [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Isildur]]?
784-->-- ''WebOriginal/ProtectorsOfThePlotContinuum'', '''Twas Many and Many a Year Ago, in a Nondescript Random Town by the Sea''
785
786->''"Seems legit."''
787->''"Cool story bro."''
788-->-- '''TheInternet'''
789[[/folder]]
790
791[[folder: Western Animation]]
792->'''Comic Book Guy:''' Oh, yeah, everyone's ''real'' happy now.\
793'''Lindsey Naegle:''' Do I detect a hint of sarcasm?\
794'''Professor Frink:''' Are you kidding, this baby is off the chart!\
795'''Comic Book Guy:''' Ooh, a sarcasm detector! That's a ''real'' useful invention!\
796''[[[ReadingsAreOffTheScale sarcasm detector]] [[ExplosiveInstrumentation explodes]]]''
797-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''
798
799->'''Lana:''' CAPTAIN LAMMERS?!
800->'''Archer:''' Nice read, [[Franchise/ScoobyDoo Velma]].
801-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Archer}}''
802
803->'''Teacher:''' You got one write-in vote for "Most Sarcastic"!
804->'''Tino Tonitini:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh, yeah. That's]] ''[[SarcasmMode exactly]]'' [[SarcasmMode how I want to be remembered]].
805-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheWeekenders''
806
807->'''Helen:''' ''[Frustrated Daria isn't shooting at her]'' Daria, you could at least ''try''.
808->'''Daria:''' I can't shoot my own mother. Not with paint, anyway.
809-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Daria}}'', "The Daria Hunter" - the PaintballEpisode.
810
811-> '''Toph:''' Oh, Sokka, you saved me! ''(Cheek kiss)''
812-> '''Suki:''' [[BlindMistake Actually, it's me.]]
813-> '''Toph:''' ''(Embarrassed)'' Oh... well... You can go ahead and let me drown now.
814-->-- ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender''
815
816->'''Unicron''': '''''I have summoned you here for a purpose.'''''\
817'''Megatron''': Nobody summons Megatron!\
818'''Unicron''': '''''Then it pleases me to be the first.'''''
819-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheTransformersTheMovie''
820
821->'''Scammer:''' Maybe you've never been led into a deadly trap before, but the correct response should be "Ah! No! Spare us!"\
822''(Eda and Lilith share a smirk)''\
823'''Eda:''' Ah, sure. ''[[MuggingTheMonster Spare us.]]''\
824'''Lilith:''' ''(as she's summoning her staff)'' Woe to us whose fates are sealed.
825-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheOwlHouse'', "Sense and Insensitivity"
826
827[[/folder]]

Top