Line #89 Quotes/BondVillainStupidity


1	[[foldercontrol]]
2
3	[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
4	->'''Frieza:''' So, I take that to mean that Vegeta is dead?\
5	'''Zarbon:''' Well... circumstances ruled out my [[MakeSureHesDead finding a corpse]], but even if by some chance he's still alive, I assure Your Lordship his injuries are grave.\
6	'''Frieza:''' ...You mean to tell me you procured no confirmation of his death?\
7	'''Zarbon:''' He-He was totally submerged underwater! The current carried him away, so I-!\
8	'''Frieza:''' Ah, well [[SarcasmMode I guess we wouldn't want you getting wet]]. Perhaps you might have retrieved him if [[{{Narcissist}} you weren't so concerned about getting your stupid hair tussled]]! For that matter, [[PragmaticVillainy what gave you the right to deal with him without my consent in the first place?]] Had it not occurred to you that Vegeta may very well have found a [[MacGuffin Dragon Ball]] on his own and, I don't know, '''''HIDDEN IT?!'''''
9	-->--''Anime/DragonBallZKai''
10	[[/folder]]
11
12	[[folder:Comic Books]]
13	->''"I could carpet-bomb [[Characters/SonicTheHedgehogSonicTheHedgehog him]] any day! That's not enough--that's '''not the point!''' I have to '''beat him!''' I have to prove I'm '''superior!''' There's a right and a wrong way to vanquish your life-long nemesis and you did it very, '''very wrong!'''"''
14	-->-- '''Doctor Eggman''' to Doctor Starline after the latter seemingly kills Sonic in an explosion, ''ComicBook/SonicTheHedgehogIDW''
15	[[/folder]]
16
17	[[folder:Fan Works]]
18	->''"Bill." Tom's voice comes out calm. "You know what, why don't you and Hailey go ahead and take the cube to Mr. Visser." He tosses it underhand to Hailey, belying how hard he'd just fought to keep it. "I'll stay here and ''handle'' this one myself." The yeerk gestures to something under his coat -- almost certainly a [[RayGun dracon beam]] -- as he says it, leaving little doubt as to his meaning.\
19	Neither of the controllers argue, shoving through the emergency exit. Jake scrambles upright to chase after them, but Tom blocks his way.\
20	"So." Tom's voice has gone silky-smooth. "Isn't that interesting."''
21	-->-- "What if Tom's yeerk got the morphing cube from David first?", ''Fanfic/AllAssortedAnimorphsAUs''
22	[[/folder]]
23
24	[[folder:Film -- Animated]]
25	->'''Lucius:''' ...So now I'm in deep trouble. I mean, one more jolt of this {{death ray}} and I'm an epitaph. ''Somehow'' I manage to find cover, and what does Baron von Ruthless do?\
26	'''Bob:''' ''[snickering]'' He starts [[EvilGloating monologuing]]?\
27	'''Lucius:''' ''He starts monologuing!''\
28	'''Bob:''' Yep! ''[laughs]''\
29	'''Lucius:''' He starts, like, this ''prepared'' speech about how "feeble" I am compared to him, how "inevitable" my defeat is, how "the ''world'' WILL ''SOON'' BE ''HIS''!", [[BlahBlahBlah yadda yadda yadda]]...\
30	'''Bob:''' Yammering.\
31	'''Lucius:''' ''Yammering!'' I mean, the guy has me on a platter and he ''won't'' shut up!
32	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheIncredibles''
33	[[/folder]]
34
35	[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]
36	->'''Dr. Evil:''' All right, guard, begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism! ''[mechanism starts]'' Close the tank!\
37	'''Scott:''' Wait, aren't you even gonna watch them? They could get away!\
38	'''Dr. Evil:''' No. I'm going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan. Why?\
39	'''Scott:''' I have a gun, in my room, you give me five seconds, I'll get it, I'll come back down here, [[StatingTheSimpleSolution BOOM, I'll blow their brains out!]] We can do it together, it'll be fun!\
40	'''Dr. Evil:''' Scott... You just don't get it, do you? You don't.
41	-->-- ''Film/AustinPowers: International Man of Mystery''
42
43	->''"Mr. Bond, you persist in defying my efforts to provide an amusing death for you."''
44	-->-- '''Hugo Drax''', the villain from ''Film/{{Moonraker}}''
45
46	->''"[[DeadpanSnarker What do they teach at that school, ballet dancing?]]"''
47	-->-- '''Francisco Scaramanga''', ''Film/TheManWithTheGoldenGun'', to Hai Fat after Bond escapes from Hai Fat's dojo.
48
49	->''"When you have to shoot, ''shoot'', don't talk."''
50	-->-- '''Tuco''', ''Film/TheGoodTheBadAndTheUgly''
51
52	->'''Valentine:''' You know what this is like? It's like those old movies we both love. Now, I'm going to tell you my whole plan, and then I'm going to come up with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you, and you'll find an equally convoluted way to escape.\
53	'''Harry Hart:''' Sounds good to me.\
54	'''Valentine:''' [[DefiedTrope Well, this ain't that kind of movie]]. ''[[[spoiler:shoots Harry right in the head]]]''
55	-->-- ''Film/KingsmanTheSecretService''
56	[[/folder]]
57
58	[[folder:Literature]]
59	->''"Now untie him, Wormtail, and give him back his wand."''
60	-->-- '''Lord Voldemort''' on Harry Potter, ''Literature/HarryPotterAndTheGobletOfFire''
61
62	->'''Ty:''' [[GenreSavvy Classic Bond villain mistake]].\
63	'''Blake:''' I know.\
64	'''Ty:''' Leaving the enemy in the deathtrap, ignoring him? A henchman of questionable loyalties watching over things?\
65	'''Blake:''' I know.\
66	'''Ty:''' Don't tell me you did the monologue, explaining things.\
67	'''Blake:''' I did, kind of.\
68	'''Ty:''' ''Damn'' it, Blake.
69	-->-- ''Literature/{{Pact}}''
70
71	->''"The easiest and perhaps the most sensible thing would be to shoot you now. In half an hour you could be at the bottom of the ocean, and neither Mrs. Jones nor Mr. Ethan Brooke would ever know what had happened to you. [[IdiotBall But I'm not going to do that]]."''
72	-->-- '''Major Winston Yu''', ''Literature/AlexRider''
73
74	->''[[MST3KMantra When you enjoy something, you must never let logic get in the way too much]]. Like the villains in all the Franchise/JamesBond movies. 'Ah, Mr. Bond, welcome, come in. Let me show you my entire evil plan and then put you in a death machine that doesn't work.'''
75	-->-- '''Creator/JerrySeinfeld''', ''Sein Language''
76	[[/folder]]
77
78	[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
79	->'''Turanj:''' I've become impatient. We [[AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs penetrated this vessel, overcame their defenses]], and in the moment of the kill, you forced us to stop. Now we play these incessant games. It's time we took our trophies and moved on.\
80	'''Karr:''' Your lust for the kill has blinded you, like many young hunters. If you took the time to study your prey, to understand its behavior, you might learn something.\
81	'''Turanj:''' There is ''[[PunyEarthlings nothing to be learned]]!''
82	-->-- ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "[[Recap/StarTrekVoyagerS4E17TheKillingGame The Killing Game]]"
83
84	->''"You're not a Bond villain, Daniel. You're a fraud. And frauds don't get to speak like Bond villains. They do get to die like them."''
85	-->-- '''Tony''', ''Series/{{NCIS}}''
86	[[/folder]]
87
88	[[folder:Video Games]]
89	->''"I've watched dozens of tutorials on how to escape this kind of situation, tied to a chair. However, none of them were necessary... Because [[spoiler:Frankie]] is stupid as fuck, and he didn't remove my gloves, their bracelets made it easy."''
90	-->-- '''Arris Fern''', ''VideoGame/VindictiveDrive''
91
92	->''"That's one thing I like about the bad guys. There's always a lot of discussion before they get around to pulling the trigger."''
93	-->-- '''Ulman''', ''VideoGame/Metro2033''
94
95	->''"Are we actually giving them a moment, sir?"''
96	-->-- '''Korisca''', ''VideoGame/HiFiRush''
97
98	->''"GUYBRUSH! I SHOULD'VE KILLED YOU THE 58 TIMES I HAD THE CHANCE!"''
99	-->--'''[=LeChuck=]''', ''VideoGame/ReturnToMonkeyIsland''
100	[[/folder]]
101
102	[[folder:Web Original]]
103	->[[Creator/DonaldPleasence Pleasence]] is, in many respects, the most cliché Bond bad guy ever. He has the most lovely (and extravagant) lair that Ken Adams ever designed. He has a pool of piranha in his hidden volcano lair. He has the technology to kidnap space ships… and ''[[CutLexLuthorACheck couldn’t be bothered making a legitimate fortune off it]]''. He has Bond at his mercy repeatedly, and… [[BlofeldPloy shoots other random characters instead]] [...] he literally looks like a baby, a petulant child that Bond needs to sort out. Creator/KingsleyAmis argued that the best of Fleming’s villains were dark father figures, but I think the films also supported the idea that they were [[PsychopathicManchild malicious overgrown children]].
104	-->-- '''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2012/10/31/a-view-to-a-bond-baddie-ernst-stavro-blofeld/ Darren Mooney]]''', "He’s an expert in the Feld of not killing Bond"
105
106	->''Anyhoo, as one of the Minions poses with Gadget for a picture, he puts some sort of homing beacon on Gadget's hat. This makes it so that Claw can control Gadget's every move; Claw forces Gadget to do things like throw his Coke and fries everywhere. Instead of, say, forcing Gadget to say "Go-Go Gadget Handgun" and shoot himself in the face, thus ridding himself of Gadget and ridding me of this shit-ass movie. Nope, Claw forces Gadget to squirt mustard everywhere and... break dance?''
107	-->-- '''Matt Briner''' in [[http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/articles/matt-briner/2088-direct-to-dvdiabloinspector-gadget-2 his review]] of ''Film/InspectorGadget2''
108
109	->''Jafar chortles with glee as he orders Aladdin's death for the second time, and this go-round it HAS to stick because everybody is chained up. He's so happy about it, he changes into Jasmine again the morning of the execution to reveal his true identity to Aladdin RIGHT before he loses his head, won't that be poetic? In doing this, he '''leaves the room''', and ten thousand defeated villains screamed in agony from Hades, "ARE WE ALL DOOMED TO REPEAT THAT MISTAKE FOREVER??"''
110	-->--'''[[Website/PlatypusComix Peter Paltridge]]''', [[http://www.platypuscomix.net/hollywood/returnofjafar.html reviewing]] ''WesternAnimation/AladdinTheReturnOfJafar''
111	[[/folder]]
112
113	[[folder:Web Videos]]
114	->(''If you missed that one: the Hirogen captured ''Voyager'', but instead of killing them all, the Alpha had their brains taken over by a computer and then put into holodeck scenarios for endless games to ''repeat'' the hunt, but not actually '''kill''' them. It's the Hirogen version of edging.)''
115	-->-- '''Website/SFDebris''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "[[Recap/StarTrekVoyagerS7E9FleshAndBlood Flesh and Blood]]"
116
117	->Zelda'' villains have always been pretty stupid in letting Link get away with ''half'' the stuff he does, but here Ghirahim wins the title of 'Most idiotic ''Zelda'' Villain' when he says, "I '''should''' have got ya last time, and I'd love to get ya '''this''' time--but I'll get you next time-♪!" Then he just vanishes, I guess he had [[WhiteHairBlackheart a hair appointment]] or somethin'.''
118	-->--'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qAjK7wd5QE Matthewmatosis]]''' on ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaSkywardSword''
119
120	->''"[[WhyDontYouJustShootHim Why wouldn't he just kill him?]] ({{Beat}}) Ooooh, right: it's a Bond movie!"''
121	-->--'''[[WebVideo/CinematicExcrement The Smeghead]]''' about ''Film/DieAnotherDay''
122
123	->'''[[VideoGame/MegaMan5 Dark Man 1]]:''' Dr. Wily, my master. Why did you create me with tank treads for legs? Surely, if I could have a pair of legs like Quick Man did, I would be able to use--\
124	'''[[VideoGame/MegaManClassic Dr. Wily]]:''' ''Tut, tut, tut'', Dark Man #1! You think I don't know you would be more effective with better legs? When Mega Man sees that Dark Man 2 is stronger than you, and Dark Man 3 is stronger than 2, and 4 is stronger than 3, [[InsaneTrollLogic Mega Man will tremble with fear knowing that I have been improving my craft!]]\
125	'''Dark Man 1:''' But… wouldn't he just know that by [[CombatPragmatist sending your most powerful creations at him first?]] Don't we stand a better chance at winning if we don't give him a chance to improve against us?\
126	'''Dr. Wily:''' My genius is beyond your comprehension, Dark Man #1. It's about sending a message. Not practicality! Now get out there, and be destroyed easily so that Mega Man feels intimidated by the gentle increase in difficulty of your brethren!\
127	'''Dark Man 1:''' ''(defeatedly)'' Okay…
128	-->-- ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmmmYX175n8 "Debunker Buster"]]'' by '''[[https://www.youtube.com/@ReploidREVO Reploid REVO]]''' (in a [[TakeThat mocking response]] to a claim made in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHBQaowGAHg&t=0s a past episode]] of ''WebVideo/GameTheory'')
129
130	->'''Anna:''' You won't get away with this!\
131	'''Hans:''' Oh... I already have.\
132	'''Schaf:''' ''No, you haven't'', you have to ''kill'' her first! Because of you, [[PluckyComicRelief Olaf]] actually has plot relevance, and that makes me mad!
133	-->-- '''{{WebVideo/Schaffrillas\|Productions}}''''s review of ''WesternAnimation/Frozen2013''
134
135	->'''Dimitri Zhukov:''' ''(to [[TheHero Jack Corbyn]])'' Unfortunately, this is, uh, "game over"? You lose. You're all out of continues. But thank you ''so much'' for playing! Unfortunately, I am a very busy man.\
136	'''Goon:''' Uh… sir?\
137	'''Zhukov:''' What?\
138	'''Goon:''' Y-you're just gonna leave?\
139	'''Zhukov:''' Yes. I have things to do.\
140	'''Goon:''' No offense, sir, but… isn't that a little… weird?\
141	'''Zhukov:''' How is weird? I have entire organization to run!\
142	'''Goon:''' ''(raising his voice)'' Yeah, an organization that he nearly took out in, like, a ''week''! There used to be, like, twenty guys here, now there's two of 'em 'cause he ''killed'' the rest of them… he-- ''[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking he fucked your wife]]--!''\
143	'''Zhukov:''' Do not speak of my ''zhena!''\
144	'''Corbyn:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Yeah, be nice to 'er. She's married to a total asshole.]]\
145	'''Goon:''' All right, sorry! Sorry. I just… after everything you listed, it really seems like you'd wanna kill the guy yourself.\
146	'''Zhukov:''' Why? [[HiredGuns That's what I have you for!]]\
147	'''Goon:''' Yeah, okay, sure! But, like… you don't even wanna see me do it?\
148	'''Zhukov:''' Are you saying I need to fucking ''supervise'' you!?\
149	'''Goon:''' I'm saying that it's strange that you wanna leave before it's over. I mean, [[ArchEnemy you're the one who wants him dead the most.]]\
150	'''Other goon:''' Uh… I think I want him dead the most? [[WhatMeasureIsAMook He killed my boyfriend?]]\
151	'''Zhukov:''' [[DerailedForDetails You're gay?]]\
152	'''Goon:''' Also, for the record, I'm pretty sure that the ''moment'' you leave us alone with him, he's gonna do something crazy, he's break his wrist to get out of the ropes, some-- something insane, and then he's gonna kill us, and then he's gonna get on the loose, and you aren't gonna know 'cause [[MookDepletion your last two guys are dead]], good for you, and then-- I-I mean, am I right?\
153	'''Corbyn:''' I think you're good to go.\
154	'''Goon:''' ''See!?'' See, he wants you to leave so that he can kill us.\
155	'''Zhukov:''' This is ridiculous! I have ''so many'' things to attend to!\
156	'''Goon:''' '''''[[SuddenlyShouting WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN WATCHING THIS GUY DIE!?]]'''''
157	-->-- [[https://youtu.be/fAUQqRVJ-lE?feature=shared "Do It Yourself! -- Stupid Movie Villains"]] by '''Creator/TeamFourStar'''
158	[[/folder]]
159
160	[[folder:Western Animation]]
161	->''"[[LampshadeHanging Do you ever notice how bad guys always leave at these critical moments?]] Oh well."''
162	-->-- '''Dr. Gene Splicer''', just before leaving, ''WesternAnimation/TinyToonAdventures'', "Hare Raising Night"
163
164	->'''Senor Senior Sr:''' A proper villain always leaves his foe when he's about to expire.\
165	'''Senor Senior Jr:''' Why?\
166	'''Senor Senior Sr:''' Well, it would be bad form just to lull about, waiting for it.\
167	'''Senor Senior Jr:''' Why?\
168	'''Senor Senior Sr:''' Tradition!
169	-->-- ''WesternAnimation/KimPossible'', "[[Recap/KimPossibleS1E18AnimalAttraction Animal Attraction]]"
170
171	->''"Next time, [[ThirdPersonPerson V.K.]] should wait until they fall into the vat before leaving. Oh well, V.K. must live and learn."''
172	-->-- '''Keith "V.K." Van Kobbler''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Grossology}}''
173	[[/folder]]

Context Quotes / BondVillainStupidity