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1[[foldercontrol]]
2
3Seeing as how it is approaching DoorStopper levels of content, it's only fitting that '''''And So We Fight''''' has some ''very'' quotable moments.
4----
5!Summary text
6->"Perhaps it is written in destiny that the struggle between that of Wisdom and Courage against that of Power is eternal. Perhaps it is inevitable that conflict and war shall be birthed of that struggle. But what is also eternal is our refusal to let this overwhelm us. Darkness can never win. And so we fight."
7----
8!Story
9[[folder:Prologue]]
10->'''Ishaka:''' Welcome to the Valley of the Damned, Sheikah.
11
12->'''Ishaka:''' What does man love more than live? Fear more than death or mortal strife? What do the poor have, what the rich require...and what contented men desire? What does the miser spend, the spendthrift save...and all men carry unto their grave?\
13'''Impa:''' ''[After some thinking]'' Nothing.\
14'''Ishaka:''' [[DoubleTake I'm sorry?]]\
15'''Impa:''' The answer is nothing. Our greatest love is to be alive, and our greatest fear is of the unknown that comes with death. Poor have nothing, rich need nothing. Misers never spend, and spendthrifts never save. And when we die, all we have is our name. Therefore, the only thing in common with all these different themes...is ''nothing''.
16----
17->'''Gawain:''' The princess negotiated the deal, milady. It was met with...[[TactfulTranslation a reaction.]]
18
19->'''Ishaka:''' ''[about Sir Gawain]'' He hold 'is liquor well, I take it?\
20'''Impa:''' Tried stealing some of ours.
21
22->'''Ishaka:''' T'ain't fer me, Sheikah. I ain't the one whose home's bein' wrecked. I ain't got no home 'cept th' one I make. Ain't got no family other than my Ravagers. It's them settlers, th' ones that ain't got a fightin' chance, that I been fightin' fer. If'n yer gonna help us against that Sorceress an' her army...I can take yeh up on it. We Ravagers will fight with ya.
23
24->'''Ishaka:''' ''[about Lord Justinian]'' If'n he ain't fixin' ta be adapt'ble, he ain't gonna be happy when th' enemy adapts fer him.
25
26->'''Zelda:''' You are a welcome friend to Hyrule. But it you act in a manner that continues you down that dark path, ''you will not be.'' Am I clear?\
27'''Ishaka:''' ''[after a moment of silence]'' Transp'rently, yer highness.
28
29->'''Zelda:''' ''[After being woken up by Impa and looking like a complete bedhead]'' Speak what is on your mind and I will have you ritualistically disemboweled.\
30'''Impa:''' Good morning to you too, your highness.
31
32->'''[[TheGadfly Impa]]:''' A handsome man too. A pity that he is married, or else I would recommend you pursue him.\
33'''Zelda:''' Impa!\
34'''Impa:''' Oh that's right, I forgot. You prefer your men to be younger than you, you little ''culeeto''.\
35'''Zelda:''' ''Impa!''\
36[[/folder]]
37
38[[folder:Act I]]
39->Impa arose that morning to the sound of screaming.
40
41->'''Ishaka:''' ''[after Link bests one of the Ravagers]'' [[Film/CaptainAmericaTheFirstAvenger He's still skinny]].
42
43->'''Impa:''' ''[sees Link on the battlefield]'' A new recruit?\
44'''Ishaka:''' Found 'im outside th' gates! Can I keep 'im? He's good!\
45'''Impa:''' ''[watching Link fighting through a bunch of Bulblins]'' Who is this soldier, anyway?\
46'''Ishaka:''' Dunno! Never thought ta' ask!
47
48->'''Ishaka:''' ''[after Volga retreats]'' '''''COME BACK 'ERE, YAH LILLY-LIVER'D COWARD! [[PunctuatedForEmphasis WE. AIN'T. DONE!]]'''''
49
50->'''Impa:''' ''[Having reached Zelda]'' Princess! Thank goodness! I'd never have reached you if not for a brave trainee!\
51'''Ishaka:''' Ah-''hem!''\
52'''Impa:''' And the help of Ishaka and his Ravagers of course. Really, Ishaka, what do you want? A cookie?\
53'''Ishaka:''' ''[pretends to think about it]'' Hmm...that t'would be deligtf'l...
54
55->'''Zelda:''' You two can continue your banter later, because as I am sure you can see, it is not necessarily the best time. I do not know if you have noticed, but these creatures are threatening the peace of my kingdom and they happen to have the audacity to do this '''''[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking ON MY BIRTHDAY!]]'''''
56----
57->'''Hyrulian Soldier:''' ''[after summoning the Great Fairy, the Hyrulian forces have discovered that all of their bombs have gone missing]'' Are all of our bombs gone? What do we do now?\
58'''Zelda:''' We take cover.
59
60->'''Impa:''' ''[rounding on Ishaka, who comforted Zelda [[spoiler:after Justinian's death]]]'' You. ''Idiot.''\
61'''Ishaka:''' ''[bewildered]'' What di' I do?!
62
63->'''Impa:''' ''[Ishaka senses that a King Dodongo is about to attack]'' Ishaka? Whatever is the matter?\
64'''Ishaka:''' It's...''they've got one.''\
65'''Impa:''' They've 'got one'? Whatever do you-- ''[senses it as well]'' Oh Goddesses. EVERYONE FALL BACK!
66
67->'''Ishaka:''' There be other ways inta th' [Faron] Woods, Sheikah.\
68'''Impa:''' Such as?\
69'''Ishaka:''' Th' Caves.\
70'''Impa:''' ''[eyes widening]'' The Eldin Caves? Surely you jest.\
71'''Ishaka:''' I be ser'us, though my name ain't Shirley.
72
73->Cia.\
74They had a name. And in a way[,] that was liberating.
75
76->'''Lana:''' I can't believe those monsters! They set fire to the Great Deku Tree! Don't they know what that'll do to the forest?!\
77'''Ishaka:''' Yeah, an' I bet they don' care!
78
79->'''Ishaka:''' What're we waitin' fer? Let's MOVE!
80
81->'''Impa:''' ''[trapped underneath a dead Gohma]'' Get...this...''thing''...off me.
82
83->'''Lana:''' Eh heh heh...I guess I have some explaining to do?\
84'''Impa:''' ''[folding her arms]'' I was just buried by a most foul beast for your forest. I'd say yes. Yes, you do.
85
86->'''Cia:''' Am I going mad? Or are ''you'' giving ''me'' orders?
87
88->'''Link:''' ''[first spoken words]'' I'm not afraid.\
89''[Everyone stares at Link, shocked.]''\
90'''Link:''' I'm not afraid of her. I mean, I'm upset because I fell like all of this is my fault and there was no way I could control that, but that doesn't mean I'm afraid. It means I'm willing to do whatever is necessary to do what's right.\
91''[Silence. Then...]''\
92'''Ishaka:''' Hee hee hee! Spok'n like a true 'ero ther', kid! That be a man I be willin' ta follow though battl'.
93
94->'''Ishaka:''' ''[[UnstoppableRage I'M GONNA GUT YA LIKE YER PET!]]''
95[[/folder]]
96
97[[folder:Act II]]
98->'''Itami:''' Fighting skills? I was talking about when [Ishaka] gets angry.
99
100->'''Sheik:''' You wish to anger the ''entire Goron race?''\
101'''Impa:''' Not all of them. Just one.
102
103->'''Itami:''' I've seen corpses that looked better after a fight than you are right now, Impa.\
104'''Impa:''' Oh, come now. These are just scratches.\
105'''Itami:''' Scratches that won't stop bleeding.
106
107->'''Darunia:''' Blow me away! A different dimension? An evil sorceress? ''[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking You beat me in a fist fight?]]''
108
109->'''Ruto:''' ''[from her post-release rant]''
110-->I THINK I SAW A '''''RAT''''' A FEW MOMENTS AGO!
111-->I HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS WITHOUT HAVING TO DEAL WITH--Impa?
112-->Has your ruler ''[[SuddenlyShouting LOST HER MIND?]]''
113
114->'''Impa:''' [[spoiler:[[SomethingOnlyTheyWouldSay I know that song because I taught it to you]], ''Zelda''.]]
115
116->'''Impa:''' [[spoiler:No no no no. You don't get to look away from me now. Not when your secret is out. Zelda, look at me. Zelda. ''Zelda.'']]
117
118->'''Zelda''': I wanted so desperately to reveal myself at the battle in the Valley of the Seers, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.\
119'''Impa''': Why?\
120'''Zelda''': [[DidntThinkThisThrough I do not know. I thought that my disappearance would lead Cia to believe that I was dead, and with me dead she would become overconfident, and thus prone to mistakes? I do not know, it was a terrible plan!]]
121
122->'''Impa''': [[YouAreBetterThanYouThinkYouAre The mightiest are the ones that see when they have failed, but they are the ones that do not let themselves sink into grief and misery because of that. I cannot pretend that I know all of the answers. All I know is that things are difficult, Zelda, but we will get through them. You just have to believe, I suppose. It sounds silly, but sometimes that might be all it takes.]]\
123'''Zelda''': I must be rubbing off on you.\
124'''Impa''': That's because you're my friend. Friends tend to do that.
125
126->'''Ruto:''' 'Masquerades'? Let me tell you something, Impa. That didn't look like a puppet Zelda. That was the real deal. That was ''her.'' And if it wasn't, I'll kiss the closest man I can find!\
127[[spoiler:''[Guess who shows up.]'']]\
128'''Ruto:''' ''[[[{{Beat}} looks at the soldier she was resting against]], then...]'' Eh. You're good.
129
130->'''Impa:''' Generals converse frequently. It is important for good rapport. It isn't quite the same as the way you've ogled the hero, Zelda. ''[Zelda blushes.]'' Can't say I blame you. He is a rather good-looking fellow.\
131'''Zelda:''' Impa...\
132'''Impa:''' Very nice and polite, too.\
133'''Zelda:''' ''Impa...''\
134'''Impa:''' Still, you falling for a knight trainee? A bit on the cliche side of the scale, isn't it?\
135'''Zelda:''' ''Impa!''
136
137->'''Impa:''' Darunia and his men can just roll right on through.\
138'''Itami:''' Literally or figuratively?\
139''[Impa is about to laugh...until she sees Itami's expression. He's dead serious.]''\
140'''Impa:''' Whichever is easiest for them.
141
142->'''Itami:''' [Zelda's] totally going to get herself into trouble, isn't she?\
143'''Impa:''' ''[deadpanning]'' Without a doubt.
144
145->'''Zelda:''' The Zora do not dare.
146
147->'''Zelda:''' So, what happens now?\
148'''Darunia:''' What do you think? I follow you through the portal, and then help you crush that Sorceress!\
149'''Zelda:''' Oh, Darunia, you needn't worry about--\
150'''Darunia:''' Ah bup bup bup! No chance convincin' me otherwise. You know how rock-headed us Goron are. So long as you need me, Darunia, King Under the Mountain, is yours to lead!
151
152->'''Itami:''' ''Odi dampnas officium.''\
153''[Rough translation: I hate this damn job.]''
154----
155->'''Big Finn:''' On the Hero, scummies! No one touches him!
156
157->'''Cpt. Dorias:''' You improve our odds, but not by much. They'r trying t steal Lord Levias' soup. ''(Weylon looks baffled)''. Lord Levias is our best hope to even the tide. But if he's hungry, he isn't going to be helpful. Fickle bastard, but he's worth the wait. They destroyed the bridges that connect the northern dark island with ours, so getting him the soup has tactical purposes as well.
158->'''Cpt. Weylon:''' There's [[ARareSentence a sentence]] I never thought I'd hear in my military career...
159
160->'''Fi:''' '''He seems loyal, Master. I would not suspect anything less from him than full support for you.'''
161
162->[[spoiler:'''Fi:''' '''There is a traitor in our midst, yes. But with all due respect, Girahim, your acting is as subtle as a crutch. Release the Captain, or else.''']]
163
164->[[spoiler:Link reared back, and he screamed.]]\
165It was a horrible, horrible sound.
166
167->[[spoiler:'''Cpt. Dorias:''' Dammit, son. I'm not about to enter another world just to have you die on me! Hold on, Link. Hold on.]]
168----
169->For a moment, Ishaka, Lana and the Ravagers watched her [Agitha] go in confusion. And then, they realized that they were letting a little girl prance unarmed and unprotected across what was sure to be an open battlefield. They all gave cries of shock, and raced after the mysterious little girl.
170
171->'''Ishaka:''' Stop talkin', yer highness...
172
173->'''Ishaka:''' ''[after Midna leaves]'' Does tha' thin' not know we're fightin' a Sorc'ress too?
174
175->'''Ryu:''' Get a move on, maggots! Let's ravage these bastards like salted earth!
176
177->'''Midna:''' Y'know, I could just kill you now, but I'm more impressed by the fact that you completely snuck up on me despite being the size of two Gorons...so, I'll give you one word. Then I kill you. And your little butterfly, too.\
178'''Ishaka:''' Parley.\
179'''Midna:''' Not bad, hairball. I give you one word in a figurative manner and you use maybe the one word that ''literally'' is relevant.
180
181->'''Midna:''' ...''YOU SHOULD HAVE LED WITH THAT!''
182
183->'''Ishaka:''' Th' way I sees it, le's jes put this all b'hind us, an' focus on th' importan' thing.\
184'''Midna:''' That being?\
185'''Ishaka:''' Witch huntin'!
186
187->'''Ryu:''' Put the finger down or I cut it off, ''your majesty.''\
188'''Midna:''' Sheesh! Touchy, touchy. You want my advice, cueball?[[YouNeedToGetLaid You should try getting laid. It'll do wonders for that bitchy disposition]].\
189'''Lana:''' ''[appalled]'' Midna! That's uncalled for!\
190'''Ryu:''' Nah, she's got a point. It's been a while, I guess.\
191'''Ishaka:''' ''[clearly wanting no part in this discussion]'' Movin' on. So if'n yeh don't mind me askin': how inna name o' th' Goddesses are we gonna fin' th' Gate o' Souls?\
192'''Midna:''' Glad you asked, cubby. ''(everyone gives her a funny look)''. What? I can see spirit auras in people. He's got the aura of a big ol' bear. Grizzly maybe. ''(To Lana)'' You're a dove. ''(To a Ravager)'' You're a viper. ''(To another Ravager)'' You're a...wolf. ''(Looks at Ryu, smirks)''\
193'''Ryu:''' Out with it, prissy. What am I?\
194'''Midna:''' I can't say, there are children present.\
195'''Ishaka:''' ''(impatiently)'' Ladies?\
196'''Ryu:''' ''([[ActuallyPrettyFunny tries not to smirk]])''
197
198->'''Ishaka:''' Inta th' breach wit' yeh!
199
200->'''Midna:''' ''[explaining Zant to the others]'' Look, us Twili are totally fine with being on the flipside of the World of Light. But not him. He has this persecution complex that would make the most fundamentalist zealot take pause. But that's not the weird part.\
201'''Lana:''' What's the weird part?\
202'''Midna:''' Zant's...well, Zant's ''dead''.\
203''[[[{{Beat}} Silence]].]''\
204'''Ishaka:''' ''[not getting it]'' Yeh lost me.
205
206->'''Ishaka:''' [[UnspokenPlanGuarantee 'Ere's wha' we're gonna do...]]
207
208->'''Midna:''' ZAAAAAANT! Get your foppish ass out here, NOW!
209
210->'''Zant:''' Look at you: a boy pretending to be a commander. A King in ''rags'', leading a drunken ArmyOfThievesAndWhores!\
211'''Ishaka:''' ''[[[InsultBackfire laughs]], before looking mock-hurt]'' Oh, tha' ain't too nice, Zant. Some o' us Rav'gers be ''[[BreadEggsBreadedEggs thievin' whores]]'' as well!
212
213->'''Agitha:''' ''[while riding Meathook, she sights Ishaka]'' Oh, hello[,] Mister Shasa! Isn't this most exciting?\
214'''Ishaka:''' ''[[[FlatWhat stares in disbelief]], then forces a smile]'' Er...yeah! Yeah, it be th' best, yer highness. ''[to Meathook]'' MEAT'OOK! Somethin' 'appens ta 'er, an' I'll skin yeh myself! ''[resumes fighting]''
215
216->'''Ishaka:''' Why you be lookin' at me lik'...''[[OhCrap aw,]] [[ThisIsGonnaSuck shit.]]''
217
218->'''Ishaka:''' S-s-s-sorry, yeh highn'ss. Th-th-tha' jes' be a close 'un, is all.\
219'''Midna:''' ''[chuckles]'' I don't blame ya, big guy. That was pretty scary.
220
221->Ishaka and Meathook's jaws were agape, hanging loosely and stupidly in the air. They glanced bug-eyed at the sight in front of theme, and then back at each other. After a moment of staring, they did the only thing they could.\
222Let out a war cry, and chase after the magic bug.
223
224->'''Zant:''' ''YOU-YOU-YOU...how DARE you kill my pet, you disgraceful WHOOORRRREEE!''\
225'''Midna:''' Yep. That's the Zant I know.
226
227->'''Zant:''' BRAT! You are a ''coward'' not to attack me! Fight! FIGHT!\
228'''Ishaka:''' ''[suddenly snarling]'' ''How 'bout this?''
229
230->'''Zant:''' ''I can't see! I can't see! I CAN'T SEE! I CAN'T SEE! I CAN'T [[KilledMidSentence S--]]''\
231''[Ishaka drives his dagger into Zant's throat.]''\
232'''Ishaka:''' ''[leaning in close]'' An' now yeh can't talk.
233
234->'''Cia:''' Well, if I may say, that look suits you. Quite fitting for a big-headed princess of Twilight. ''[laughs haughtily]''\
235'''Midna:''' ''[enraged]'' ''[[VerbThis Suit THIS!]]'' ''[punches Cia with her hair]''
236[[/folder]]
237
238[[folder:Interlude II]]
239->'''Uhaa:''' M-m-m-m-m-m-muh-muh-MEEDDIICCC!
240
241->'''Itami:''' ''[dealing with the wounded Link]'' Name?\
242'''Cpt. Dorias:''' Captain Dorias of the Skyloftian Guard.\
243'''Itami:''' He's completely out cold. Was he given anything in the last hour?\
244'''Dorias:''' I gave him a homemade remedy.\
245'''Itami:''' ''[looks at him, suspicious]'' Homemade? What was in it?\
246'''Dorias:''' Does it ma--\
247'''Itami:''' Yeah, it fucking matters. What was in it? ''[Dorias stammers.]'' ''Well?''\
248'''Dorias:''' Gah! Uh, it had, um...two ounces of Chu-Chu jelly--\
249'''Itami:''' What color Chu-Chu?\
250'''Dorias:''' Green. A pinch of fairy dust--\
251'''Itami:''' Anything else? Anything sedative in nature?\
252'''Dorias:''' Um...two ground-up poppy flowers. Yes, definitely two.\
253''[Itami stares at him, incredulous.]''\
254'''Itami:''' Two whole--were you ''trying'' to kill him? Fuck, now I gotta worry about making sure he doesn't drift off forever while patching him up, thanks to you. ''[at the tent flap]'' ''Somebody get me a shaman!'' ''[back to Dorias (poor bastard)]'' Unacceptable. You're an officer, you should know better than to give a kid this size that much poppy-- ''[notices that the others are creeping in ever so quietly]'' ''Not another fucking step!''
255
256->Ishaka didn't even need to do anything. The others, save for Zelda and Lana, [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere swiftly raced out of the tent to avoid the wrath of the medic on the war path.]]
257
258->'''Itami:''' Okay boys, hold him down. But ''watch the arm!'' It's clearly broken, and I haven't set it in a splint yet.
259
260->'''Ishaka:''' ''[cutting Impa off with the first time he's ever said her name]'' [[FirstNameUltimatum Impa]], please.
261[[/folder]]
262
263[[folder:Act III]]
264->'''Ganondorf:''' Cia...You have been my favorite puppet yet.
265->'''Cia:''' I can't...I am NO ONE'S puppet!
266->'''Ganondorf:''' ''(laughs)'' So you say. Whatever the case, our...alliance is over. I will break the final barrier myself. This body lacks its full power. ''(telekinetically throws her across the room)'' But...for now it will suffice. ''(Cia is bound with chains)'' However, that will change once I wrest the Triforce from you. ''(does so)'' It has been eons since I last laid eyes upon the Triforce in all its might. Beautiful, is it not? A veritable testament to the greatness of the Goddesses. Such a power belongs not to one as little as you. Only the strongest may hold that power. And I am the strongest man in existence. Surely you can understand...that this the way reality works.
267->'''Cia:''' The Triforce... SHALL BE MINE! ''(destroys her bonds, and in the process splits up the Triforce causing the pieces of Wisdom and Courage to return to Zelda and Link)'' The Triforce of Courage and Wisdom have been returned to their owners.
268->'''Ganondorf:''' Do you think this will destroy me?
269->'''Cia:''' You have no idea who I truly am, do you? I was granted this power by the Goddesses themselves. I am the disciple of Rauru, Great Sage of Light! I am the Keeper of the Passage of Time! You might be the embodiment of darkness, but in the end you are simply a man! And a man, no matter how powerful, matters as much to be as does a ''termite!''
270
271->'''Itami:''' What's got you so worked up, Lana?
272->'''Lana:''' It's just... Your attitude at the Temple of the Sacred Sword. And then the look you gave the temple in Castle Town. It's...the disdain is noticeable.
273->'''Itami:''' Good. Glad someone else is recognizing it.
274->'''Lana:''' It's...well, every time someone brings up the divine or the Goddesses around you, you get all grouchy. Even more so than normal. Why?
275->'''Itami:''' Well, maybe that's because I'm not so quick to sing their praises.
276->'''Lana:''' What, you don't believe in them?
277->'''Itami:''' ''(laughs)'' Hell no, I'm not that stupid. Not when I've seen the Triforce itself imprinted upon the palm of a princess and that kid Link. Anyone who sees that and still thinks there isn't some sort of divine puppetmaster pulling all of our strings is either delusional or ignorant.
278->'''Lana:''' I don't understand, then.
279->'''Itami:''' It's simple really. I know that Din, Farore, Nayru...whatever the hell their names are. I know that they exist, I know this, and I refuse to worship them. The very thought of them makes me sick to my gut.
280->'''Lana:''' But...why? What have they done for you to be so harsh?
281->'''Lana:''' That question is ''exactly'' why I refuse to sing their praises. 'What have they done?' I'll tell you what: [[TheGodsMustBeLazy nothing]]. They don't do anything. In the beginning, the created all of existence, and then after that was done they decided to sit on their thumbs and watch it all go to hell in a handbasket before them. One of them even ''encourages'' it. Look no further than the the Triforce. The Triforce of Power. Din. Her greatest artifact, the physical embodiment of her power, gets taken by ''evil incarnate''. Every story through the ages is the same. The power of Din is taken by the darkness. And what does Din do? ''Nothing!'' She never once raises a finger to stop it, to cast the hellspawn out from defiling her sacred piece of divinity. And then her 'sisters' Nayru and Farore don't do anything but spend their champions to clean up ''her'' mess. ''Their'' mess. It's nothing but a cosmic ''gag''. Worship that? ''That?''
282
283->'''Ruto:''' By the Goddesses! How the ''fuck'' did you do that?
284
285->'''Cia:''' That's the funny thing about my magic... The closer you get to me...the easier it is for me to dig into you. I'll be able to dig into your mind...even if you were awake.
286->'''Ishaka:''' My mind ain't a nice place ta be...
287
288->'''Cia:''' Everything about you is like a house of cards, Ishaka. All to hide the truth from everyone. Who would blame you? After all, what would they do if they knew...''this'' about you? Or ''ooo'', '''that's''' embarrassing. What would they think if they knew the truth about the ''real'' Ishaka? What would ''(gasp)'' what would ''that Sheikah bitch'' think? I mean, finding out the truth about you is lie peeking at your name-day presents the night before: so anti-climatic. I mean, beneath all that gregariousness, that loud-mouthed shenanigans and the supposed 'badass-ness'...you're just a scared little boy...''crying out for a mommy and daddy he never got to know''. It would be funny...if it wasn't so ''pathetic''. Oh what the hell, I'll laugh anyway! '''[[EvilLaugh AH HAH HAHAHAHAHAAAA!]]'''
289->'''Ishaka:''' ''({{Neck Lift}}s her)'' Yer righ', sorc'ress. Yeh know m'secrets. An' I ain't gonna lie; I had a rotten life. Me mom died in chil'birt' wit me. Me dad left me onna doorstep fer some ol' monk to raise inna deserts ta th' south, an' then up an' vanished. [[NotSoSimilar But here be th' diff'rence between me an' you]]. You let it get ta ya. When laugh was unfair ta yeh, ya chose ta curse it an' fin' somethin' ta blame fer yer pain. Me? I foun' me a fam'ly o' me own an' friends tha' I be willin' ta die fer. An' tha's why I be 'here, Cia. I ain't come here ta kill yeh; ''I came 'ere ta save m'friend.'' So mebbe ord'nary people don' crack un'er th' pressure. Mebbe don' run an' hide wit' our tails 'tween our legs. An' mebbe we don' jus blame th' goddesses fer somethin' unfair tha' happened ta us. ''[[ShutUpHannibal Maybe it was just]]'' '''''[[ShutUpHannibal you]]''''', ''[[ShutUpHannibal all the time]]''.
290
291->'''Lord Reedus:''' It's the boy himself. The first tribal ever raised to the Royal Guard? Definitely something that needed to happen, but that doesn't mean that people are going to like it. ''Or'' the fact that he's a different skin color than them.
292->'''Zelda:''' Tell them to [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] deal with it. Lord Gwain is the Lord of War and will do a marvelous job. Uhaa seems to be taking his training seriously. As far as I've heard, none of the Royal Guardsmen care that Uhaa is black or that he has tribal origins; all they care about is that he can fight and he can work in a team and will defend the life f the royal family. That's ''literally'' all they are asked to do. And being presentable in public is something that can easily be taught, and Uhaa is already a respectable fellow. He'll have that down within minutes, if not sooner. At the end of the day these sniping and bickering lords and ladies seem to forget that ''I'' am the one that will be queen, ''I'' am the one that has final say on what goes in my kingdom, and if I decide that it's time for Hyrule to start looking to reform the era that we line in then that's my prerogative...and I don't give a ''shit'' what men like Cassius Fawlty think.
293->'''Lord Reedus:'''...I do believe that my right to complain about anything, ever, has been hereby revoked forever.
294
295->'''Cia:''' Is it really so hard to see why I've fallen for him, Lana? We're ''perfect'' together. The things that I've seen...the things ''he's'' seen...no one in existence could know the thankless burden that we carry other than...each other. I love him. I ''love'' him. And I know that he'd think I'm perfect, if only he knew me.
296->'''Lana:''' [[ArmorPiercingQuestion What's his favorite color]]?
297->'''Cia:''' I, erm, um...
298->'''Lana:''' What's his favorite food? What's his favorite book? What does he like to do when it's rainy and he's stuck inside?
299->'''Cia:''' I...I don't-
300->'''Lana:''' What was his family like? What was his first job? What was the first girl that he crushed on's name?
301->'''Cia:''' I, wait, you-
302->'''Lana:''' What's his biggest fear? What makes him happy? What does he want out of life? What-
303->'''Cia:''' ''I DON'T KNOW!''
304->'''Lana:''' That's my point, Cia!" You don't ''love'' Link! You've never loved ''Link!'' You...you...You're in love with his ''[[LovingAShadow shadow]]!''
305
306->'''Volga:''' You really are a glutton for punishment, you know. The last time we fought you were barely able to stand. What makes you think this time will be any different, with my power so greater than before?
307->'''Impa:''' Because this time I won't stop until you're noting more than a greasy smear on the end of my father's naginata. ''Let's go.''
308
309[[/folder]]
310[[folder:Interlude III]]
311->'''Impa:''' I assure you [[{{Jerkass}} Lord Fawlty]], [[StealthInsult no one could possibly think less of you than they already do]].
312
313->'''Link:''' What's going on in there?
314->'''Impa:''' It's a dick-measuring contest.
315->'''Link:''' A ''what''?
316->'''Impa:''' It's an expression, Link. Big meetings like this usually don't get started until both sides have exhausted their mind games. It's petty and childish and... it's bizarrely entertaining to listen to.
317[[/folder]]
318
319[[folder:Act IV]]
320->'''Ghirahim:''' There is only one man who should have that much power, and that would be my lord and master, Ganondorf. And yet, I hear that ''you'' are the one that currently possess my master's possession. Quite shameful, I must say. He would like it back, if you would be so kind.
321->'''Zant:''' Do it, and then, we'll ''gut you, you filthy'' '''''WHORE!'''''
322->'''Ghirahim:'''...Zant, you're missing the point of a parley. It's usually supposed to be 'Do it, ''or'' we'll hurt you.'
323->'''Zant:''' I ''know what I said!''
324
325->'''Ganondorf:''' I would stay with you until you died, if that was of some comfort to you. However, I am on a schedule. And I have a pair of pesky little children to attend to, who are messing with things similar to you. But I will grant you a small mercy: Rather than leave you to die at an hour uncertain, I'll give you a certainty. ''(kicks Lana partially into the swamp)''. You can linger here for as long as your body can handle, or...you can let go. An uncertain time before death by exposure, or a few moments before you drown. I will let you decide what the more humane experience is. For am I nothing if not kind. I give those beneath me the right to choose. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a world to own.
326
327-> He [Link] turned around to see her [Zelda] smiling at him. It was a good thing that he was good at keeping a poker face, because the sight of her hair right now was perhaps the most horrifying thing he had ever seen.
328
329->'''Itami:''' ''[When Lana appears to have died]'' '''''[[RageAgainstTheHeavens YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKERS!]]''''' How DARE you! ''HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO HER?'' '''''What did she do to piss you heartless bastards off?''''' She's. JUST. A WOMAN! She did '''''NOTHING''''' to deserve this! NOTHING! And you '''''DARE''''' to take her because you...because you think ''THIS IS PART OF THE PLAN?'' '''''YOU THINK THIS IS HER HOUR? FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU DIN! FUCK YOU FARORE! AND FUCK YOU TOO, NAYRU!''''' ''I curse your very names! I spit on your 'holy' relics! I DEFY YOUR DIVINITY!'' '''''YOU. WILL NOT. TAKE HER!''''' You think that ''you'' decide her fate? You think that ''you'' are going to carry her off to Valhalla? '''''FUCK. THAT.''''' I am her ''doctor!'' '''I''' decide if she lives or if she dies! And '''''I AM GOING TO BEAT YOU!'''''
330->'''Soldier:''' ''[Lana starts coughing and breathing again]'' ...I think the Goddesses heard you, Mr. Itami.
331
332->'''Ganondorf:''' All I know is that, in the end, I am old, Elijah. Very old. I invite you to contemplate how insignificant I find most mortal complaints. What does all that mortal angst matter, anyway? Everyone dies.
333
334->'''Ganondorf:''' There have been countless people before you who have hated me. But few...few of them had the pure. personal and passionate vitriol for me that I can sense within you. I have never met you before I came here. Whatever was it that I did to you that stokes that anger?
335->'''Lord Grantham:''' You killed my best friend.
336->'''Ganondorf:''' ''({{Beat}})'' That's it? I...I apologize, Elijah. [[ButForMeItWasTuesday I don't think you realize how little that narrows it down]].
337->'''Lord Grantham:''' You never met him. But you killed him all the same.
338->'''Ganondorf:''' Hmm...''Now'' we're getting unusual.
339
340->'''Ganondorf:''' I see. That's very sad to hear, Elijah. His death must have truly broken you. But in the end, you can't forget that dearth is merely a natural part of life.
341->'''Lord Grantham:''' How ''dare'' you just brush that off!
342->'''Ganondorf:''' So he died. ''That's what people do.''
343[[/folder]]
344
345[[folder:Act V]]
346->'''Midna:''' ''[To the others after casually incinerating Zant]'' Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want to kill him?
347[[/folder]]
348
349[[folder:Grand Finale]]
350->'''Ishaka:''' There's one more thin', Sheikah.\
351'''Impa:''' Yeah? And what's that? What could you possibly say to surprise me now?\
352'''Ishaka:''' ''[After a moment of silence]'' I love you.
353
354->'''Itami:''' ''(as Zelda prepares to fire a grappling arrow into a windowframe)'' Oh, for fuck's sake are you kidding me? That has got to the tiniest piece of wood I have ever seen. I am not a religious man at all, but I promise you that even if I prostrated myself before the Goddesses in rags and promised them nothing but tithes and worship from now until the end of my life and beyond, I ''still'' wouldn't have the good fortune to hit that sho- ''(Zelda hits the target perfectly. StunnedSilence)'' Welp, gonna shut up now.
355
356->'''Itami:''' Stabbing a creature in the back of the head and out through the throat? That takes a hell of a lot of natural skill.
357->'''Lord Grantham:''' Itami, you are a good man and I look forward to a future where you and I can debate philosophy and discuss politics and other such potpourri. But right now YourApprovalFillsMeWithShame.
358
359->'''Itami:''' ''[Noticing that Zelda seems to aiming an arrow at Link's head]'' Princess--\
360'''Zelda:''' Itami. Shut. [[PrecisionFStrike The fuck.]] ''Up''.
361
362->'''Beast-Ganondorf:''' '''''I. AM. KING!'''''\
363'''Zelda:''' That would be my father, asshole.
364
365->'''Ganondorf:''' ''[As Zelda is about to kill him]'' For your kingdom, princess?\
366'''Zelda:''' No. For me.
367[[/folder]]
368
369[[folder:Epilogue]]
370->'''Midna:''' ''[After Ganondorf's defeat]'' So that's it then, eh? Pfft. That was all child's play. Who's up for round two?
371
372->'''King Romulus:''' ''[As he is dying from his injuries]'' Hm. I never would have thought it would be like this. Thought it would...thought it would be...a desert somewhere. A cave. Broken land, ruined. But this? I hear birds. I feel wind. Grass. Sunlight. Water. Running water. It is quiet. Soft. ... Be not afraid. I'm going to see my family again. My son... [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid4GunsOfThePatriots This is good, isn't it?]]
373
374->'''Midna:''' You know, the last time I was at a crossroads like this, it ended in a way I wish I could take back.

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