Line #9 Music/ShineOnMe


1	[[quoteright:362:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/LoveHasEnemies.png]]
2	[[caption-width-right:362:Yes, this ''is'' what the entire video looks like.]]
3
4	->''"Watching this video, you will wonder, briefly, if Chris Dane Owens "means it". This is an ungenerous thought--dismiss it. You may also wonder why "Shine On Me" is modelled on early ABC and Spandau Ballet and padded out with an unnecessary layer of loud guitars. Irrelevant. What you need to know is that Mr. Owens will live forever--until the dragons rule the earth again (or the first time, whatever)--and that you are going to watch this video more times than you can imagine. You may dream of this video, but the dream won't be as good because it won't be this video."''
5	-->--''Magazine/TheNewYorker''
6
7	"Shine on Me" is a song by Chris Dane Owens (son of ''Series/LaughIn'' announcer Creator/GaryOwens) from his album ''Blue Stone''. An 80s love song made in 2008, under most circumstances it would just be thrown in the GuiltyPleasures pile without another look. But that was before Owens, armed with a budget that he's too embarrassed to admit, footage from other movies, a green screen, [[https://web.archive.org/web/20130621164802/http://www.robertshort.com/ Robert Short]] and a PornStache, created an incomprehensible mess of a music video jammed with as many over-the-top fantasy cliches as possible.
8
9	And by "fantasy cliches", we mean all the evil sirens, dragons, assorted swashbuckling, stallions, fair maidens, floating fair maidens, glowing books, ghosts, goths, an electric guitar, sculpted body armour, sculpted body armor nipples, [[StuffBlowingUp explosions]], pirate ships, [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs exploding pirate ships]], a Legolas lookalike, a Dr. Doom lookalike, witches, hot witches in catsuits, spinning crystals, [[OurDragonsAreDifferent dragons]], Stonehenge, [[ChromaKey awful bluescreen effects]] and an [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment alligator.]] ... well, by now it's safe to say it's made of pure awesome. And [[SoBadItsGood cheese.]]
10
11	Was [[Website/{{Cracked}} Cracked.com]]'s #1 for the "6 Worst Professional Music Video" (of course Swaim ends up saying "Who am I kidding, this video is fucking amazing" at the end) and won ''The New Yorker''[='s=] "Video Of The Year" award.
12
13	It can be watched [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDyDz8WeiM4 here]].
14
15	Compare with its full-length feature film, ''Empire Queen: The Golden Age of Magic'', released on January 25, 2024.
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17	'''This music video contains examples of:'''
18	* AllThereInTheManual:
19	** ''My character is part of the witches' kingdom, which is the second kingdom. I'm actually part of their army and an enforcer, a general, if you will. I meet that young lady Arra who is secretly being trained by the angels and they hand her a book. That book is the book of golden symbols which can only be understood by the spirit, by the living soul. She's being trained secretly to be the queen of this realm, to overthrow the forces of darkness. My character actually meets her and falls in love with her and decides to leave the dark side, so he has an epiphany.''
20	** He happily explains the video and the sequel [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZbNeFzZQXM here]]. The way he talks about it, it almost makes sense.
21	* ArtifactsOfDoom
22	* BackFromTheDead: Resurrection apparently involves ripping your shirt off while blinding light bursts out of your chest.
23	* BadassCape: Both Chris Dane Owens's character and the masked assailant wear capes.
24	* ChromaKey: Abused like a bag of free heroin.
25	* CircleOfStandingStones: Near the end of the video, Arra is seen walking towards a circular stone structure in the middle of the forest.
26	* CoolHorse
27	* CoolSword: so cool, it actually looks uncannily like a Franklin Mint reproduction.
28	* CreepyCemetery: The three witches are seen floating over the graves of a dimly-lit cemetery. Some ghosts also appear in the same scene.
29	* CueTheSun
30	* DragonsVersusKnights: The music video's setting seems to be a cross between MedievalEuropeanFantasy and StandardFantasySetting, so this is a given. In a scene, Owens jumps over a ravine in the forest, in hopes of outrunning the fiery breath of a flying dragon.
31	* DullSurprise: Everyone has an unchanging slack-jawed stare.
32	* EpicRocking
33	* EverythingsBetterWithSparkles: Owens fights off a menacing swarm of blue sparkles.
34	* FantasticFireworks: Earlier in the music video, fireworks explode in the night sky, and Owens and Arra are dancing together. At the end of the video, both are sailing away from a port, and one of the angels/fairies blows some magic from her hands and another set of fireworks appears.
35	* FemmeFatale: Femme Fatale goths with catsuits and magical powers.
36	* FantasyKitchenSink
37	* InTheHood: The masked assailant wears a black hood and cape ensemble.
38	* LightIsGood: The redheaded LoveInterest / female protagonist (called Arra) is first seen wearing a white hood, and, in another scene, she is wearing a light blue dress with a light pink sash. The three angels/fairies are also seen in a scene floating over a river and carrying wands/torches.
39	* MagicKnight: The three witches are seen in a scene walking towards the screen wielding swords. In other shots, they cast their spells with wands or with their hands.
40	* MalevolentMaskedMen: A masked assailant with a hood seems to be the main antagonist of the music video, since he appears in one-on-one combat scenes against Chris Dane Owens's character (in the forest and in the ice palace). An unconscious Arra is also seen in his arms in another scene.
41	* MatteShot: Also abused.
42	* NeverSmileAtACrocodile: In a scene, a crocodile is seen and lashes out with his head.
43	* NinjaPirateZombieRobot: Arguably, the main character, considering he goes from pirate to plate-armored knight in the space of four minutes.
44	* NippleAndDimed: About a minute in. Whoops.
45	* OminousFog: Near the beginning of the video, a ship sails through a deep mist.
46	* OurDragonsAreDifferent: A squad of dragons are seen flying next to a castle in a scene, then in another they pass in front of the moon.
47	* {{Pirate}}s: Just because. In a scene, Owens is marching with three other men in nautical garb, the one on his right wearing a captain's hat.
48	* PointyEars
49	* PornStache
50	* PrettyInMink: In the scene where someone places a crown or garland on Arra's head, she is wearing a fur-trimmed cape.
51	* RuleOfCool
52	* RuleOfThree: The three evil witches; the three fairies/angels.
53	* SceneryPorn: Tons of it.
54	* SlippySlideyIceWorld: Complete with a frozen dragon carcass and random ice castle.
55	* SnowMeansLove: Owens and Arra are seen running through a wintry forest, and later riding on a carriage together through a snowy scenario.
56	* SpellBook: One of the angels gifts Arra with a magic book. When she opens it, it emits light to her face.
57	* StockFootage: Half the scenes are ripped from other movies.
58	* StuffBlowingUp
59	* {{Tagline}}: "Love has enemies".
60	* WeatherManipulation: The way the music video is edited, it appears the three witches join their wands to cast a spell, and, in the next scenes, a storm rages on the sea, sinks Chris Dane Owens's character's ship and he drowns.
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Context Music / ShineOnMe