Line #3 Main/UnfocusedDuringIntimacy


1	A character is having a sexual or a romantic moment with another character. However, one of them, or neither, may not be completely into it.
2
3	This may be because:
4	* When the two are engaging in sexual intimacy or romantic moments we see them having flashbacks/thoughts of another character. They may even have literally imagined their current partner as that one specific character. If a character suffered personal heartbreak over a relationship of any kind with someone and this trope occurs it can sometimes mean that said character is OnTheRebound. It could also mean that they are still holding feelings for that one character but may be trying to forget them to avoid further pain.
5	* One (or both) of them are thinking of something else. The person may simply be not into sex (at least at the time), or they like something BetterThanSex, or they're thinking of more important matters.
6
7	As variants of the trope: LieBackAndThinkOfEngland is a woman thinking about other things during sex out of boredom, ThinkUnsexyThoughts is thinking about something other than sex to delay climax, and the sex-related variant of WrongNameOutburst is imagining a different partner during sex and calling their name instead.
8
9	Compare and contrast CoitusUninterruptus, where someone nonchalantly multitasks (or deals with incoming matters) during sex. See also LousyLoversAreLosers for one possible explanation.
10
11	----
12	!!Examples:
13
14	[[foldercontrol]]
15
16	[[folder:Anime & Manga]]
17	* Somewhat implied but not confirmed with Griffith in ''Manga/{{Berserk}}'' who is believed by a few people to have some manner of feelings towards his best warrior/friend in his army, Guts. When the latter leaves to find his own dream Griffith immediately seeks out sex with Princess Charlotte to make himself feel better about the loss of Guts, even thinking about him during sex with her.
18	* ''Manga/BlackButler'': It is shown that Alois has feelings for his butler Claude and longs for him through his trials. When he has flashbacks to seducing [[DirtyOldMan Lord Trancy]] and being molested by him he reveals how he would think of Claude to help keep his sanity during this. It is really Trancy who thinks the moment is meant to be romantic and sensual, disturbingly, considering Alois is quite young, and he considered Alois's attempt at seduction to be genuine.
19	* To further Dio and Jonathan's BelligerentSexualTension in the first part of ''Manga/JojosBizarreAdventure'', Dio decides to come on to and take the SacredFirstKiss of Erina who is the beloved of Jonathan. He does this to drive the two away from each other, and get at Jonathan, and Erina understandably can only express how disgusting she thinks Dio is for thinking he could come between them.
20	* ''Manga/OutlawStar'': Harry tries to generate a romantic moment between himself and Melfina but she is developing feelings for Gene. Harry picks up on her thinking of Gene and gets jealous.
21	* ''Manga/PandoraHearts'': It is implied that Vincent has feelings deeper than brotherly affection for his brother Gil. In chapter 34 Vincent is coming on to Lotti and in the midst of doing so, he wonders what kind of expression Gil would have if he found out he's in league with the Baskervilles. He states he would love whatever expression Gil would display. Also, when Vincent is on a date with Ada he thinks about how annoying she is and wonders how Gil would react if he decided to taint her. He thinks about how he wants to see his angry expression and informs Ada that he's jealous of Elliot for having Gil's attention.
22	* ''Manga/PeachGirl'': Momo is in a LoveTriangle with Touji and Kairi. In one scene, Touji gives her the ultimatum of choosing between him or Kairi. In the midst of being kissed or about to have sex with Touji, in the anime and manga respectively, her mind goes to Kairi. Touji notices the tears going down her face and comes to the IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy conclusion.
23	* ''Anime/RevolutionaryGirlUtena'' has a partial example. There's a sex scene between Akio and Utena in episode 33, confirmed by the shot of her naked shoulder and their hands intertwined on a bed. However, she's fourteen years old and he's way older than her, and then there's the topic of discussion. You won't be thinking of sandwiches the same way again for a good while afterwards. All the more nightmarish when you see her gasping in pain and kanji reading afterwards [[MadnessMantra "Stop it...stop it...stop it..."]]. It's like she's desperately trying to retain her composure and get her mind off of the dubious situation with Akio by talking about what she should make for lunch tomorrow or trying to deflect Akio's attention and ministrations on her by mentioning Anthy and how she needs to leave to make lunch. It also so happens that she and Anthy end up as the OfficialCouple by the series (or at least the film) end, hence her focus on Anthy during the sex scene. Also, more G-rated versions arise when we see plenty of guys, like Touga and Akio, get her involved in a romantic scene with them but all she can think of and worry about is Anthy.
24	* ''Manga/SayILoveYou'': Aiko's early spotlight showed that she long obsessed over what Yamato meant to her and her poor self-esteem, to the extent that she would imagine that she was having sex with Yamato when she was sleeping with other people. Part of her development was learning to let go of that mental image she had of him.
25	* ''Anime/TheVisionOfEscaflowne'': Hitomi is in the middle of a LoveTriangle between Van and Allen and when she is having romantic moments with Allen her mind always seems to go back to Van, after she falls for Van of course. She also thinks of her crush on Earth who looks just like Allen when in his presence.
26	* ''Manga/WolfGuyWolfenCrest'': Haguro and Ryuuko are evil versions. Haguro has a fixation on Inugami to the point of it being a sexual obsession, all of which started when the latter bested him in his werewolf form. He wants to beat Inugami down and prove himself the superior beast. To make himself feel powerful he has violent sex with his girlfriend Ryuuko (who lusts after and thinks of Inugami during sex with Haguro) and has an orgasm while screaming Inugami's name. He also rapes the hell out of his male subordinate while, again, thinking about Inugami and how this is a punishment for him. And then there is his raping Aoshika while recording it so that Inugami can see, practically talking to the camera (and, therefore, to Inugami) through the entire thing so that Inugami will come back to him. When he finally gets his hands on Inugami, he mutilates him, starting with two fingers that he eats and ''gets a boner from doing so'' because he feels a rush from feeling himself a superior badass to Inugami. He also throws himself on his sword just to be able to hold Inugami close.
27	[[/folder]]
28
29	[[folder:Comic Strip]]
30	* ''ComicStrip/TheFarSide'': One cartoon entitled "Duck Sexual Fantasies" shows two chickens in bed, one imagining its partner as a duck.
31	[[/folder]]
32
33	[[folder:Fan Works]]
34	* The fanfic ''Discontinuity'' for ''Manga/{{Berserk}}'' features Griffith seeking out Charlotte as in canon after Guts leaves. He has sex with her while imagining she is Guts and goes as far as to tie a strip of cloth around her mouth so her voice does not distract him from his fantasy. He can not escape his depression though as he realizes he is unable to believe he is having sex with Guts and not Charlotte because he knows Guts would never be so submissive and allow him to have sex with him.
35	* ''Fanfic/TheShoeboxProject'' has a G-rated example when Sirius is making out with his hot [[EveryoneLooksSexierIfFrench French]] girlfriend Sophie but murmurs [[UnresolvedSexualTension Remus's]] name instead. She is ''very'' displeased, and immediately responds "That is so funny. I was just thinking the same thing."
36	* A variant in ''WesternAnimation/TheJetsons'' fanfic ''George Jetson: the Competition''. Jane is dancing with a man named Geoffrey because she's drunk on champagne. However, when [[MatingDance Geoffrey starts dancing sensually]], she starts imagining she's dancing with her husband George instead.
37	* In the ''Webcomic/MobPsycho100'' fanfic ''[[https://archiveofourown.org/works/18118466 Apparitions Gone Awry]]'' Serizawa is amazed when Reigen is in the moment when they make love. This is because he's only been with Suzuki before that and Suzuki was always very clinical and detached, not even caring what Serizawa enjoyed.
38	* In an ''Series/{{ER}}'' [[https://archiveofourown.org/works/14449791?view_adult=true fanfic]], Doug recalls one of his random lovers calling him out on this and sheepishly admits that she's right (he's thinking about his OneTrueLove Carol).
39	[[/folder]]
40
41	[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
42	* ''Film/AClockworkOrange'': The Film does this in a way to Alex's debauchery (involving sex and violence usually) he gets up to that he does so much it is always on his brain as well as his love of Beethoven. As such, when he has a consensual three-way with a couple of girls pre-Technique, it is sped up and set to the William Tell Overture with hilarious results that underscore how little sex means to him, it's just something to pass the time and his mind is always on violence.
43	* ''Film/{{Election}}'': While making love to his wife, high-school teacher Jim [=McAllister=] imagines both the faces of his next-door neighbor who he is having an affair with, and Tracy Flick, a student in the school for whom he has an irrational hatred.
44	* ''Film/GoneWithTheWind'': Scarlett is downright terrified when Rhett calls her out on this:
45	-->'''Rhett:''' Don't you suppose I know that you've lain in my arms and pretended I was Ashley Wilkes?
46	* ''Film/{{Munich}}'': After experiencing the horrors throughout the film's plot, Avner stares off into the distance while having sex. He has a hundred-yard-stare and doesn't blink as dramatic MelismaticVocals play in the background.
47	* In ''Film/TheNotebook'', Allie is torn on choosing between her fiancé Lon and Noah the man she had a summer-long passionate relationship with. She got engaged to Lon as she did fall for him but that was also partially because she thought Noah wasn't interested in her anymore. As it turns out, Noah had sent her love letters every day for a year but her mother intercepted them. The truth comes out and they rekindle their passionate relationship. When Lon finds out, he is heartbroken, as he loves Allie and wants to be with her. As he explains it to her, he knows she is madly in love with Noah and that he has to let her go. Lon knows she will never stop thinking about Noah even if she and him did continue with their original plans and get married. Which is what he meant when he told her he doesn't want to have to convince his fiancée that she should be with him and that whatever he does won't win him her hand.
48	* ''Film/SeedsOfYesterday'': Bart beds Melodie shortly after Cindy catches him spying on her while she's at the pool. Later, he visits a brothel and selects a prostitute who resembles Cindy. Even creepier, he takes her from behind, possibly to enable him to continue imagining that it's Cindy he's having sex with.
49	[[/folder]]
50
51	[[folder:Literature]]
52	* ''Literature/StrawberryPanic'': Shizuma comes on to Nagisa and feels her up. Before she can go further, she suddenly has a flashback to her [[TheLostLenore deceased girlfriend]] saying her name and stops.
53	* ''Literature/EveryDay'' is about "A," who switches into a different person's body every day and generally lives the way that they would. A falls for a girl named Rhiannon while in her boyfriend's body, then finds [[PronounTrouble him-/herself]] thinking about her while having romantic encounters with other people (namely, the significant others of whomever he's possessing).
54	** On a similar note, he and Rhiannon are reluctant to go too far themselves, at one point thinking that it would be unfair to take the virginity of A's current host.
55	* ''Literature/VampireAcademy'':
56	** Rose gets half-naked with a couple guys and makes out with them. She then develops feelings for Dimitri who she thinks of during these moments of brief intimacy with other men.
57	** Lissa cannot stop thinking of Christian when Aaron (whom she does not have feelings for) tries to romance her.
58	* In Jessica Stevens' book ''Within Reach'', Lila has a boyfriend Xan who dies but lives on as a ghost and tries to show Lila she isn't alone, while she struggles to comprehend how her life has changed without him. Six months ago her life was perfect: she was on her way to becoming a professional dancer, her parents were still married, and her boyfriend was alive. But now, with her anorexic tendencies stronger than ever, she must decide between letting go to be with a boy she doesn't love or holding on to the unreasonable yet overpowering feeling that Xan is still within reach and loves her...and is trying to show her something.
59	* Count Lionel Savignac from ''Literature/ReflectionsOfEterna'' is exceptionally good at this. While he sleeps around as much as expected from an unmarried noble to keep up appearances, he is uninterested in most women and mentally checks out during sex to think about his political schemes and war plans. Because he is so good at lying, only one woman, Baroness Marianne, has ever realized what he was doing, and when she demanded him to either "be here completely", or to leave, he chose the latter and sent her an expensive gift the next morning -- not to get back into her good graces (they have never met afterwards), but as an apology for getting caught.
60	* In the second ''Literature/{{Xanth}}'' novel, King Trent confides that, since he's still [[TheLostLenore mourning his first wife]], he doesn't think that he can actually have sex with his new, politically-chosen queen, Iris. The obvious solution--using magic to make Iris look like his dead wife--is rejected out of hand. Bink then makes the suggestion of changing ''both'' of their appearances and pretending to be completely different people, which works.
61	* ''Literature/TheApothecaryDiaries'': Both of Maomao's biological parents were having thoughts along the lines of "I'd rather be [[spoiler:playing a strategy board game]] right now" while conceiving her. In at least one version, her mother voices the thought out loud and her father is silently understanding due to being in the middle of having similar thoughts, the only real difference being [[spoiler:which game he'd rather be playing]].
62	[[/folder]]
63
64	[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
65	* ''Series/TheArrangement2017'': "Trips" starts with Megan and Kyle having unfocused, unsatisfying sex due to both having their minds preoccupied with events from the previous episode: Kyle due to [[spoiler:having been pimped by Terence and forced to have sex with a detective]] and Megan due to having kissed the director of her play.
66	* ''Series/{{Awkward}}'': When having sex with Matty one day, Jenna ends up seeing him as [[spoiler: her crush, Collin]]. She's so startled that she and Matty fall off the bed.
67	* ''Series/TheDropout'': College student Elizabeth seems more bewildered than anything while having sex with her boyfriend, staring up at him blankly while he sings along with Justin Timberlake.
68	* In ''Series/{{Euphoria}}'', as Nate becomes obsessed with trans girl Jules after seeing a video of his father having sex with her, he forces his girlfriend Maddy to let him take her from behind so that he can imagine that she's Jules.
69	* ''Series/{{Fargo}}'': The Nygaards' AwfulWeddedLife comes to a head in a fight where Pearl tells Lester that she won't face him during sex so she can "imagine a real man" instead.
70	* ''Series/{{Friends}}'':
71	** Chandler once goes out with a woman after she mistakenly calls his apartment, thinking her ex-boyfriend lives there. Chandler thinks their sex was great...until she calls again, to tell said-ex that it was a disaster, and she had to stop herself from calling his name.
72	** Chandler tells Ross about how sometimes he'll be with a woman but then have his mom pop into his head and it'll mess with his focus, thinking Ross will be able to relate. Ross couldn't relate, but NOW he can, and later in the episode he's with Rachel and starts thinking about his mom instead. Then he's mad at Chandler for putting the idea in his head.
73	* In ''Series/GameOfThrones'' season 1, Cersei says that on their wedding night, Robert had called her Lyanna, the name of Ned's sister [[TheLostLenore who he had been in love with and who died]].
74	* ''Series/{{House}}'': Wilson and House have a bit of ShipTease throughout the show though it's also hard to tell if it's genuine on House's part due to his snarky teasing of others. However, in the season 7 premiere "Now What?", House and Cuddy had just finished having sex, leading to this humorous exchange which just ''screams'' [=OT3=].
75	-->'''Cuddy:''' Why didn't you let him in?\
76	'''House:''' You were thinking about ''Wilson'' while we were having sex? That's so cool, so was I!
77	* ''Series/InterviewWithTheVampire2022'': In "[[Recap/InterviewWithTheVampire2022S1E6LikeAngelsPutInHellByGod Like Angels Put in Hell by God]]", a nude Louis de Pointe du Lac and Lestat de Lioncourt are having sex in their bed. However, Louis is distracted from Lestat's lovemaking because he's concentrating on his telepathic discussion with Claudia (who's inside her coffin in a different room). Lestat, who had been showering Louis' neck and chest with kisses, notices that his boyfriend isn't in the moment, so he stops and speaks Louis' name to try to regain his attention. Louis then kisses Lestat on the mouth, but once Lestat resumes his amorous exploration of his lover's body, Louis remains visibly dissociated from the intimate act even after Claudia ends their psychic communication. Louis clearly isn't in the mood, but considering that Lestat had [[DomesticAbuse brutally pummeled him]] in [[Recap/InterviewWithTheVampire2022S1E5AVileHungerForYourHammeringHeart the previous episode]] for not loving him enough, Louis is now scared to reject Lestat's sexual advances.
78	* In ''Series/JustShootMe,'' Elliot and Maya are investigating a cult and [[AccidentalMarriage accidentally get married]] according to the group's beliefs. They agree that this doesn't mean anything, but Elliot then finds himself unable to have sex with [[ReallyGetsAround his current girlfriend]] because, on some level, he thinks of it as "cheating."
79	[[/folder]]
80
81	[[folder:Music]]
82	* "Missing You" by Music/IngridMichaelson definitely has this.
83	-->''He's got his hands in all the right places\
84	But the wrong face is in front of me\
85	I close my eyes and see it so clearly\
86	But you're not here and it's killing me\
87	And I can feel you through the static\
88	You're in my head again\
89	I can't get you out\
90	I try but you just never move\
91	I'm in his bed again\
92	Feeling like a stranger\
93	When he's kissing me, I'm missing you\
94	Kissing me, I'm missing you\
95	He's kissing me, I'm missing you\
96	Kissing me, I'm missing you\
97	You lay beside me in my bedroom\
98	Never made a move but I wanted to\
99	You sleep and I stared at the ceiling\
100	Counting my feelings, they were all for you''
101	* Music/KeithWhitley's "Don't Close Your Eyes":
102	-->''Don't close your eyes\
103	Let it be me\
104	Don't pretend it's him\
105	In some fantasy\
106	Darling, just once let yesterday go\
107	And you'll find more love\
108	Than you've ever known\
109	Just hold me tight\
110	When you love me tonight\
111	And don't close your eyes''
112	[[/folder]]
113
114	[[folder:Video Games]]
115	* In ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins'' if [[spoiler: Logain]] is selected to do [[spoiler: Morrigan's]] ritual, he says that he'd rather think of his dead wife than her. Rather insulted, she notes that he'd just expressed a desire to have sex with a corpse.
116	[[/folder]]
117
118	[[folder:Visual Novels]]
119	* ''VisualNovel/SchoolDays'' has a tragic case in one route (and the anime adaptation). Kotonoha is dating Makoto and is convinced he loves her over Sekai. However, Makoto kind of flip flops between many lovers unbeknownst to her and [[DanceOfRomance dances with Sekai at a bonfire dance]]. Taisuke comes across Kotonoha and says Makoto doesn't consider her his girlfriend anymore. This leaves Kotonoha emotionally vulnerable and then Taisuke approaches her, hugs her intimately, and confesses he loves her while Kotonoha thinks "Makoto..." to herself in despair. Worse still, Taisuke rapes her soon after that and then she finds Makoto dancing with Sekai before she [[DespairEventHorizon collapses into despair]].
120	[[/folder]]
121
122	[[folder:Web Comics]]
123	* ''Webcomic/MenageA3'':
124	** When Dillion dresses up as his crushes (Gary) favorite female porn star Amber, Gary imagines himself kissing and having sex with Amber/Dillion.
125	** After Matt and his hurt pride over Gary's sexual prowess costs him his girlfriend Kiley, he is genuinely hurt and is shown ordering a guy he is having sex with afterwards to put on a Kiley wig.
126	** Both James and Tracy think of Gary while having sex with each other; James because he is possibly bi-curious and Tracy because she wants to have Gary and James engage in oral sex hoping he will dislike the experience and allow Tracy to perform it instead, as James is adamant on Tracy not doing something so degrading as a woman.
127	[[/folder]]
128
129	[[folder:Western Animation]]
130	* In one episode of ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy,'' Lois sleeps with Bill Clinton and tries to "even the score" by letting Peter have sex with another woman. (She's a bit stunned when Peter picks [[LoveFatherLoveSon her mom]].) Peter winds up reneging at the last minute, though.
131	** Played for comedy when Peter has sex with a wild animal and cries to him “Why would you not look at me during?”
132	* {{Played For Laughs}} when ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'' did a similar plot: Francine used to [[ReallyGetsAround Really Get Around]] while Stan has only had sex with her, so she lets him sleep with another woman. Stan meets someone who's seemingly perfect for him, they're about to have sex, but then he hesitates, thinking about Francine...and then has sex with the woman anyway. (Five times!)
133	* ''WesternAnimation/HeyArnold'': In a G-rated version, Helga considers her true love to be Arnold after an act of kindness done by him to her. Thus, she pines after and thinks about him all the time even though she also has a few guys pining after her at various points (i.e. Stinky and Brainy).
134	** Since Arnold has a crush on Lila, one episode has Helga dressing and acting like her in order to get his attention. It actually seems to work, but she gives it up when Arnold accidentally calls her "Lila."
135	* A sad example in ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender:'' When Sokka and Suki meet again in season two, they're about to kiss in the moonlight...but seeing the moon makes Sokka pull away. His other main LoveInterest, Yue, [[spoiler: [[HeroicSacrifice sacrificed herself]] to [[DeityOfHumanOrigin become the new Moon Spirit]]]]. He and Suki do become [[OfficialCouple official]] by the end of the series, though.
136	[[/folder]]

Context Main / UnfocusedDuringIntimacy