Line #3 Literature/EmpressTheresa


1	[[quoteright:316:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/26137478_sy475.jpg]]
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3	''Empress Theresa'' is a self-published novel by Norman Boutin, released digitally in March 2013 and first printed in early 2014. The story is an odd amalgam of ScienceFiction and ChickLit: the titular Theresa Sullivan, a ten-year old girl who happens to be "cute as heck" and "a whiz at school", experiences a union or "merging" with a mysterious alien entity, which she names [[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey HAL]].[[note]]And yes, that naming reasoning is in-universe.[[/note]] HAL gives her various powers, including superhuman strength, and as she comes of age, she is forced to put these powers to use for the good of mankind, in the face of countless global conflicts (some of which may have been inadvertently caused by her).
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5	The book was initially set to be all but ignored upon release, yet a phenomenon of sorts arose through the [[DearNegativeReader incessannt]] [[CantTakeCriticism antics]] of author Norman Boutin through which the book came to be nearly universally panned by critics and audiences alike. Criticism has been directed toward the characters (namely Theresa), atmosphere, narrative, stylistic limitations, lack of logic, conflicting use of themes, formatting flaws, and especially the relentless inability of Norman to take criticism. Some have defended it, however, as a surrealist work in need of suspension of disbelief, although these perspectives have often been overshadowed by Norman's own outrageous efforts to publish fake reviews, slam even the most mild bits of criticism and deny any and every interpretation of the book that conflict with his own vision.
6	----
7	!!Tropes found in ''Empress Theresa'' include:
8	* AlmightyIdiot: HAL can manipulate nearly limitless amounts of matter and energy throughout the Solar System, and is an indestructible entity that has existed since the Big Bang. However, he is utterly mindless and acts only on survival reflex.
9	* AngelicAbomination: HAL is a ball of pure white light that is for all intents a stand in for the Holy Spirit... that also happens to be an alien and "not made of matter or energy".
10	* ApatheticCitizens: The world's population doesn't seem too concerned about the consequences of the weather system stopping or that they will run out of food somewhere down the line if things don't get fixed.
11	* AppliedPhlebotinum: HAL is basically a ball of concentrated Phlebotinum. Theresa vaguely explains how it functions with pseudo-scientific jargon.
12	* ArtisticLicense: To the point of being able to give Creator/RolandEmmerich a run for his money. See [[ArtisticLicense/EmpressTheresa here]] for more details.
13	* AuthorAvatar: Theresa. A quick visit to the book's [[http://empresstheresa.com/ website]] will confirm this.
14	* AuthorTract: The entirety of the Paris trip can be summed up as a massive mockery towards France. Also, Norman hates atheism.
15	* BigFancyHouse: The Parker estate where Theresa and Steve temporarily stay at whilst hiding from assassins.
16	* BlatantLies:
17	** Norman Boutin would like to inform you on his website that there is no violence, shootings, bombings, alcohol, sex scenes or foul language in ''Empress Theresa'' amongst other things. Having assassination attempts on Theresa including the infamous atom bomb chapter apparently doesn't count. Nor does Theresa and Steve having sexy talk with each other count either.
18	** Boutin also mentions that neither mystery nor crime appears in ''Empress Theresa''. [[ImmediateSelfContradiction One sentence later]], mysterious events are listed as being in the book.
19	** "The truth is not a single Christian doctrine is mentioned in the entire book. Theresa never mentions who God is or what he does." The book is full of references to Christianity and Theresa herself believes people are lost unless they follow the directions of its Maker. Boutin's arguments with reviewers often bring up Christianity in the process as well. Finally, the author constantly links ''Empress Theresa'' with religion and God on his website.
20	** Boutin claims that Empress Theresa deals with a realistic adult world, as opposed to all the [[invoked]][[SciFiGhetto sci-fi novels cluttering the YA shelves]]. The novel is about Theresa gaining superpowers from outer space.
21	* BodyguardingABadass: In order to protect Theresa (who's definitely not a badass) from the threat of assassination [[ForgotAboutHisPowers (despite having powers that could theoretically easily protect her),]] ''thousands'' of British soldiers are assigned to guard her. They seem to spontaneously appear from the edge of a forest on an estate as well.
22	* BuxomBeautyStandard: The story contains an unnerving number of references to the heroine's bosom.
23	* CantHoldHisLiquor: Averted with Steve who manages to down the equivalent of 24 pints at {{Oktoberfest}} despite never having drunk alcohol before.
24	* CelebrityCameo: A few real-life figures are granted alter-ego status in ''Empress Theresa'', such as Tony Blair as Peter Blair and Benjamin Netanyahu as Benjamin Scherzer, though one real-life celebrity is given an actual moment as herself. At Theresa's village picnic scene in Chapter 11, Maureen Mc-Govern appears in all except name: "There was one woman who was actually a semi-professional singer. She sang an Academy Award winning song called ''Morning After'' from [[Film/ThePoseidonAdventure a 1972 movie about a shipwreck disaster]]. [...] I didn't remember hearing the song before. It greatly affected me. The semi-pro singer knew her audience."
25	* ChasteTeens: Played with. Theresa and Steve are chaste before marriage, but marry at eighteen because, in her own words:
26	-->'''Theresa:''' "Could we go four years without doing it?"
27	** This concept is played with again when Theresa gives birth to 420 children during the 600 years that the rest of humanity spends in stasis. During this time, she deliberately keeps them at the age of 10 for the entirety of the 600 years and the author straight mentions that Theresa did this because she was afraid they'd be horny teenagers and unable to control their urges amongst each other ''despite being related'', so her solution was to keep them physically prepubescent despite them technically being teenagers and older.
28	* CharacterShilling: Prime Minister Peter Blair thinks that Theresa is the greatest being in the entire world. He isn't the only one who does this but he's very prominent about it.
29	* ChristianityIsCatholic: There are a few references to a priest and a Cardinal, and the Pope – for some mysterious reason – pays for Theresa's college education.
30	* ChuckCunninghamSyndrome: Theresa notes at the beginning that she has a sister but beyond the introduction when the plot properly starts she's all but erased from the story with not even their parents remembering her.
31	* ChosenOne: Theresa, though her being "chosen" by the alien HAL is accidental.
32	* CostumePorn: A lot of space is devoted to describing Theresa's wardrobe, including her LittleBlackDress, her {{Stripperiffic}} figure-skating outfit, her [[PimpedOutDress wedding dress complete with "Venice Lace"]], and an "Irish green outfit" complete with [[http://empresstheresa.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/KINDLE_cover.105122303_std.jpg amazing artwork from the author.]]
33	* CoversAlwaysLie: Based on the cover used for the book's page on this site, you'd think that it's about Theresa climbing up the ranks of the military. However, the author himself says that the military aspect only comes into play for one chapter at most.
34	* CreepyChild: Theresa spawns ''420'' of them while the world is in a 600-year coma. They have numbers for names, they're kept in a prepubescent state for centuries, they all look like Theresa and Steve... yeah.
35	* CustomUniformOfSexy: Theresa, when being admitted into the army, makes several wildly out-of-code changes to her uniform in order to accentuate her looks such as wearing her hair down rather than up as is standard and opting for the men's uniform rather than the woman's, which the cover artwork depicts as [[BuxomBeautyStandard greatly accentuating her breasts.]] Just in case the reader may think of this all as being coincidental, Steve is quick to point out [[MaleGaze how turned on he is by the sight of Theresa]] once she's fully in uniform.
36	* CypherLanguage: Theresa thinks she's very clever in using this when programming HAL.
37	* DestructiveSaviour: Theresa oftentimes comes up with solutions to problems (Or what she thinks are problems) by making drastic changes to the planet that by all rights should result in the deaths of millions at best and the extinction of all life at worst. Because of the nature of the story however, any adverse effects are brought up as minor inconveniences at best.
38	* DisneyDeath: Played with, then played straight. In the ending, the whole world believes Steve and Theresa are dead, but they reappear in a spaceship and bless the Earth before deciding to age and die naturally.
39	* DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything: The alien "merges" with Theresa by appearing as a "softball-sized white ball" and entering her abdomen. Yes, you read that right.
40	* TheDreaded: For someone who is supposed to be so good and wonderful, the world governments are quite often very cautious about angering her:
41	-->'''Prime Minister Ben Scherzer:''' "Those who challenge Theresa Hartley's power are fools. She could destroy the world. Don't push her too far."
42	** Boutin disturbingly uses Hitler as a comparison more than once, as in how she will be remembered for centuries while Hitler will become a mere footnote in history.
43	* {{Eagleland}}: Type 2. Theresa speaks contemptuously of "the American dream of secure mediocrity", and the President of the United States tries to have her killed for no other reason than ForTheEvulz.
44	* EldritchAbomination: HAL, who according to the author "isn't made of matter or energy" and is a shapeless white blob that grants mysterious powers.
45	* FantasticFoxes: A fox is the host for the magical alien for many years until Theresa is 10 years old. The implication -- via Boutin himself suggesting that HAL is pure intellect -- is that foxes are magically and intellectually proficient.
46	* ForcedSleep: Theresa puts the whole planet to sleep for 600 years after some people accidentally acquired their own versions of HAL after the atom bomb incident which caused him to make multiple copies of himself. The reasoning behind this to stop people from figuring out how to use HAL for evil and going mad with power (the irony of this, given her own actions, is lost on her).
47	* ForgotAboutHerPowers: Theresa hardly ever uses her heat-emitting powers, SuperStrength, ImprobableAimingSkills or ability to instantly track people at all times. The last one is quite significant as it would have made her job of protecting Israelis from potential terrorist attacks during the sea crossing a whole lot easier, instead of [[ItMakesSenseInContext using a giant ring of diamonds made from carbon extracted from the sun and thrown into orbit to provide 24-hour daylight]] [[Literature/BookOfExodus for the Israelis' temporary exodus to Crete.]] [[FlatWhat Yeah.]]
48	* FriendToAllLivingThings: Theresa develops this reputation after footage of her feeding chipmunks out of her hand [[TakeYourTime when she's supposed to be working on re-starting the wind]] leaks to the media.
49	* FunWithAcronyms: The secret government organization monitoring Theresa is called the '''O'''ffice of '''O'''rbital '''P'''henomena '''S'''urveillance. This is played completely seriously.
50	* GoldenMoment: Whenever Steve and Theresa quarrel and then make up. Or at least, Norman tries to frame it that way in a very in-your-face kind of way.
51	* HappilyMarried: Steve and Theresa, if your idea of a happy marriage is a passive-aggressive MasochismTango.
52	* HeroesLoveDogs: Inverted. Theresa doesn't like dogs as during her childhood, one barked and tried to lunge at her though it didn't actually touch her.
53	* HollywoodAtheist: All atheists are evil and wrong and this book will tell you so!
54	* HopeBringer: Somehow manages to be this and TheDreaded considering how often she strikes fear into the hearts of government leaders.
55	* IdiotBall:
56	** Anyone who opposes Theresa grasps it firmly, first and foremost Army and Navy officers who let her carry everything she needs for her plan to escape being executed via NukeEm without batting an eye.
57	** Theresa herself for never considering using HAL to escape the plane and only much later comes up with a crazy plan using NoodleImplements that nearly killed her.
58	** Late into the story, to celebrate the anniversary of Theresa's death and rebirth, a stuntman decides to copy Theresa's leap into the ocean...Ignoring the fact that she only survived because HAL was able to keep her body in good enough condition that she could be recovered. He dies instantly on impact and it becomes just another aside in a book full of them.
59	* ImprovisedWeapon: Theresa improvises a flotation device using a bag full of soda bottles. She does this by casually taking a dozen bottles of soda out of a cooler and, in full view of her captors, placing them into a garbage bag. No one suspects anything.
60	* InformedAttribute: While it's frequently mentioned that Theresa is Catholic and that she has a priest for a friend, she hardly ever prays, never does Mass or Confession, dismisses the Notre Dame Cathedral as unimpressive, lets herself be worshipped as a second Jesus, is ''extremely'' prideful and wrathful which are two of the worst sins in Catholicism and pretty much acts like she's better than God by messing with the seasons, weather and the environment.
61	* InsaneTrollLogic: Given the author's... bizarre understanding of how ''anything'' works, the story in its entirety operates under this.
62	* ItsAllAboutMe: Theresa laps up the world's adoration at every opportunity. She occasionally states that she never wanted fame but as soon as she is challenged in any way, she instantly despises the person in question and how they should not oppose such a great savior as herself. Case in point: when she tells the [[UsefulNotes/BritishPoliticalSystem House of Commons]] that everyone who is on TV wanted the attention and she never did, an MP innocuously asks why is she here. Cue an outraged Theresa internally marking the MP as a {{Hypocrite}} with a good dose of {{Irony}} and coldly stating, [[WhoDares "You interrupted me. Nobody interrupts me. I don't need you."]] She ends this by thinking to herself that he had dared interrupt the world's savior and there would now be riots in his hometown.
63	* JeanneDArchetype: Boutin is a self-described fan of Joan of Arc, and Theresa seems to be his attempt at creating an homage to her, being a young girl chosen by God to save the world. This is muddled by the facts that the "choosing" was a complete coincidence and most of the things she's tasked to save the world from are problems she herself caused.
64	* JerkAss:
65	** Theresa's husband, Steve Hartley. He exists only to be rude to anyone who might offend his precious Theresa.
66	** Theresa herself, who is needlessly rude to people she considers beneath her and is [[LackOfEmpathy not affected by the concept of evil in the world.]]
67	* JustPlaneWrong: The F-22 Raptor isn't designed to be launched from an aircraft carrier, and even if there were a way for the catapult to be connected, it would tear the plane's front landing gear off when activated.
68	* LightIsGood: [[EldritchAbomination Allegedly]] HAL, who is a form of white light that grants Theresa her powers.
69	* LovedByAll: Theresa is universally adored the entire planet, who throng about her wherever she goes. People are captivated by her the moment she walks in a room simply because she radiates goodness. Professionals in their fields are in awe of her wisdom. The only people who dislike her are the press because she's just so gosh-darn perfect that they can't dig up any dirt on her.
70	** This may be considered an InformedAbility, since in spite of the text insisting that Theresa is in all ways perfect and universally adored, a large number of people constantly want to kill her.
71	* MaleGaze: How many young girls aged eighteen would describe themselves in these terms?
72	-->'''Theresa:''' "My green outfit was modest, only five inches above the knees and with not much cleavage, but didn't hide my well-turned figure. All right, my chest and butt were well outlined."
73	** And keep in mind one of the selling points is that the book contains no sex and yet it constantly sexualizes her and Theresa almost revels in being the center of sexualized attention.
74	* MeaningfulName: Father Donoughty literally does nothing.
75	* MessianicArchetype: Theresa's story is beat for beat Jesus' (a child selected before birth by a mysterious entity? Feared by the government? Final words being a slightly more selfish version of Jesus'? All checked.)
76	* AMinorKidroduction: The book opens with Theresa merging with HAL at age ten. The "plot" doesn't start until she's 18.
77	* MundaneUtility: Theresa uses her SuperStrength and ImprobableAimingSkills to win at baseball.
78	* TheNeedless: HAL doesn't need food or water and is functionally immortal.
79	* NerdsAreSexy: Steve Hartley, Theresa's husband, is a physicist.
80	* NeverTrustATitle: Theresa is not actually an empress of any kind; it's just a nickname given to her by her friends. This doesn't stop her from acting like she may as well be one.
81	* NewPowersAsThePlotDemands: Theresa is able to do basically anything to move the plot along. From super strength, to stopping the wind, to rotating the axis of the Earth, to launching giant columns of water into space, to mining elements from ''the Sun'', to putting the whole world into an ageless 600-year stasis, Theresa can do anything short of actually warping reality. How she's capable of doing any of this when HAL's powers are defined as simply him acting upon learned reflexes is never really explained.
82	** This later becomes a recurring plot point for Theresa in that whenever a new problem arises, she has to spend time "Programming" HAL to do whatever it is she needs done but will always end up with a new set of fully functional powers to use by the end.
83	* NoCelebritiesWereHarmed: Prime Ministers Peter Blair and Benjamin Scherzer are blatant stand-ins for UsefulNotes/TonyBlair and UsefulNotes/BenjaminNetanyahu, respectively.
84	* NonindicativeName: Despite the name, HAL has far more in common with the Monolith than with HAL 9000.
85	* NoodleImplements: Theresa uses eleven bottles of Coke as a flotation device after jumping out of a jet to escape being blown up by an atom bomb.
86	* OurDarkMatterIsMysterious: HAL is said to be made out of dark matter which manifests as a ball of white light and is able to grant Theresa various special powers.
87	* PlotHole: This book has enough of these to bore down the center of the Earth and out the other side. Characters appear and then depart from the story on a whim. The reasoning behind certain actions is ''never'' explained. In fact, if you even want to know ''why'' Theresa was targeted to be taken out with an atom bomb, you have to read Boutin refuting negative comments on a wiki. Yes. You read that right.
88	* ProtagonistCenteredMorality: Ummmm.... '''''Where do we even start?!''''' Theresa is treated as a perfect paragon of goodness, with her petty, selfish, narcissistic actions glossed over and rewarded.
89	** At one point, Theresa completely destroys the economy for gold bullion owners, and they hire a lawyer to take Theresa to court over her alteration of the economy. Instead of being angry at the people who hired a lawyer for a class action lawsuit, Theresa instead sabotages the life of the lawyer and makes it so any motor vehicle with her inside will inexplicably stall and fail. This is treated as okay because of the fact that Theresa was being bullied, never mind that she is bullying an innocent lawyer who is just trying to do her job (whom she also knows has children). Theresa never reverses this either, so this is presumably just something this woman has to live with forever now, and the book acts like this just immediately stops the lawsuit and Theresa is done with this situation.
90	** Theresa gets rid of winter, nighttime, and the North Pole, but because "''Theresa said we don't need it any more''", it's okay. Never mind fall, spring, and even winter crops. Never mind the researchers that examine the Arctic or the animals that live there. Never mind those sensitive to light or who just ''dislike'' daytime or prefer the night. Theresa says we don't need it and acts like her decision is the best decision for the situation.
91	* RageAgainstTheHeavens: Theresa gets angry with God during one of her missions. He is not impressed and tells her to stop whining and do what she ought to do.
92	* RainbowSpeak: [[http://empresstheresa.com/ The website]] for the book exemplifies this in a particularly random fashion alongside random font sizes.
93	* RapidHairGrowth: A sign of HAL's influence; Theresa's hair grows thick after becoming his host. Bizarrely, it's described as being heavy like it's wet, or holding in water.
94	* SatelliteLoveInterest: Theresa's husband Steve, who exists for only two reasons: 1) to defend his wife's perfection to the press, and 2) to render her unobtainable to others (in order to prove her virtue by having her remain faithful to him even though she could have literally any other man she chose). For much of the book, they're on different sides of the planet and Theresa rarely thinks about him.
95	* SentIntoHiding: Theresa is hidden at the Parker Estate by Prime Minister Blair to avoid assassins whilst thinking of a plan to save the world. Despite this, she somehow gets mail containing huge amounts of cash.
96	* ShoutOut:
97	** In-Universe, HAL is named for [[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey HAL 9000]].
98	** At a crucial point in the "action", Theresa compares herself to the heroine of ''Literature/TheHungerGames''. And whines about how her life is so much harder.
99	* ShowDontTell:
100	** A trademark of the book's writing style. The reader is informed of everything and almost nothing is demonstrated, and when it is, the narrator immediately explains what we're to think of it. In some situations, such as the switchboard used to control HAL, Norman does try to explain the logic of how the device works, but the prose can become confusing and even when explained, he'll over-explain certain details while leaving other major questions unanswered, and causing the explanation to both be under and over explained simultaneously.
101	** A very good example of this is the Army-Navy game. Theresa participates in the Army-Navy game, which is hyped up to be a massive event. When it actually happens? Theresa just mentions it within a sentence and calls it a day. Similarly when she's married at 19, she spends more time describing her dress than the actual ceremony.
102	** ''The first chapter'' explains that [[{{Recursion}} the first chapter will introduce the main character]], while the second and third chapter will set up the story's premise, and the fourth chapter is where the action starts. The fifth and sixth chapters, by the way, are mainly just recaps of the fourth chapter. Whole schools of literary criticism could be structured solely around attempting to explain this level of self-referentiality.
103	* SkewedPriorities:
104	** Oh, so very much. Rather than use her powers to save the world, Theresa basically goes on an extended holiday and complains about everything in France. She also misses chipmunks while there.
105	** A soldier gives Theresa thermal garments so she doesn't get cold in the plane thousands of feet up in the air even though she's going to be nuked to death anyway. [[ForgotAboutHisPowers Theresa apparently forgot]] about her heat-emitting powers at that moment.
106	** While messing around with the planet in order to restore the wind, Theresa also moves the planet on it's axis to get rid of winter since she didn't like it and felt the world didn't need it.
107	* TheSociopath:
108	** Oh God, Theresa. Best summed up with the quote below after someone remarks that nobody would arrest Theresa even though she just ruined a lawyer's life whilst they were just doing their job.
109	-->'''Theresa:''' So! I could do anything I wanted to anybody and nobody would dare do anything about it! I kind of liked that.
110	** Later on, Theresa considers that the group of lawyers she was dealing with before might trick her by saying they needed an ambulance to which she'd use her powers to see if that was the case. If any one of them tried to escape via an airplane, Theresa remarks that she would use HAL to stop the plane, crushing all the passengers inside like apple sauce. Nothing about the innocence of these other people is even mentioned.
111	** Likewise, Steve approves of the thought of, in his words, getting "the lawyer [[PrecisionFStrike bitch]]" and "killing the [[PrecisionFStrike bastards]]."
112	* SoftWater: PlayedWith. Theresa falls thousands of feet into the ocean and appears to be dead when recovered and brought to the hospital. Despite the fact that the impact from such a height should have almost certainly immediately killed her, Theresa wakes up a couple of weeks later with no lasting damage whatsoever. Averted later in the story when a stuntman decides to replicate her fall into the ocean without any sort of protective measures and dies on impact.
113	* SoMuchForStealth: The American government agents are meant to be spying on and following Theresa but they go about it so obviously that they literally park outside her house and then later get discovered by campus security at Boston College where Theresa attends.
114	* StarfishAlien: Hal is an ageless, indestructible life form that looks like a white orb. His biology is utterly inexplicable, supposedly being based on dark matter, but it is known that he can only reproduce while in symbiosis with a host.
115	* {{Stripperiffic}}: Theresa's "little black nothing" dress, and her figure-skating outfit with a slit skirt. She uses the first to taunt Jack, and the second to seduce Steve.
116	-->'''Theresa:''' I had a green figure skater's outfit covered with sparkling sequins and embroidery. Nobody had ever seen me in it. I tried it on. It had one of those ridiculously short skirts that didn't seem worth putting on. My legs were exposed on both sides up to the hips, there was no back and not much front. So now Steve was free to look all he wanted.
117	* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: By the author, who insists that his book ''isn't'' science fiction:
118	-->"Science fiction talks about impossibilities such as time travel, or some future or alien world."
119	* TakeThat:
120	** Revised editions of the book have added scenes that are nothing more than Norman trying to get back at the "trolls" (i.e. critics of his book). [[invoked]][[BigLippedAlligatorMoment Said scenes add nothing and make no sense in context]].
121	** Theresa, having become bored with trying to save the world, takes a trip to Paris with her husband. The ensuing scene is nothing but the author shitting on France, calling the Louvre, the ''Mona Lisa'', and the Notre Dame cathedral unimpressive (despite being an important expression of Catholicism and Theresa is meant to be Catholic) and painting the people of France as snooty for ignoring Theresa and Steve in a fancy restaurant.[[note]]That said, Theresa and Steve come into the restaurant underdressed and lacking a reservation and end up seating themselves, making them look much worse than the staff and patrons of the restaurant. Considering how Theresa is a worldwide celebrity at this point whose interview was watched by ''billions'', you would think that an exception would be made in this case though.[[/note]]
122	* TakeYourTime:
123	** Possibly a unique case of this being in literature but despite needing to start the wind and rain again, Theresa takes time to go for estate walks with Steve, read books, eat nice lunches, and watch TV, since the work she's supposed to do is apparently very intense. And then later takes a trip to Paris. This goes on for ''months'' but there are no repercussions from this.
124	** The huge water columns that Theresa creates at the North Pole and cause rain for months appear not to cause any issues either with Theresa being in no hurry to sort this out.
125	* TheTease: Despite being a [[InformedAttribute good Catholic girl]], Theresa dresses sexily to tease Jack and other boys on one occasion.
126	* TheresNoKillLikeOverkill: Theresa is taken onto a plane to be transported somewhere in order to be thrown out of it and blown up with a nuclear bomb as HAL is considered to be possibly too dangerous to live. [[ApatheticCitizens The soldiers never question]] why this 18-year-old girl is to be killed so dramatically and are never given any information to accompany their orders. [[WhyDontYouJustShootHim Neither do they think about just shooting her even though they are all carrying guns.]] Lampshaded, Theresa comments that just shooting her would save a lot of taxpayer money.
127	** While she was lost at sea in shark infested waters, HAL projected a force field that would instantly chum any sharks that draw near. The blood from the shark chum would then draw in even more sharks who would then also be churned into chum in what's said to be an endless cycle until she's finally rescued.
128	** When considering different ways to deal with the lawyers that try to circumvent her cursing them to never be able to use any method of transport, her solution to one of them boarding a plane is to stop the plane in it's tracks mid-flight and, in her words: "Crushing everyone inside into apple sauce."
129	* ThreateningShark: Theresa ends up falling into shark-infested waters and HAL uses its powers to cause mass cannibalism amongst the sharks, creating a huge bloodbath that Theresa nevertheless gets out of in one piece. This is meant to be family-friendly by the way.
130	* TitleDrop: Theresa directly refers to herself as "Empress Theresa" when she and Steve finally leave the Parker family nearly a year after their arrival. She is also mentioned by her epithet of "World Empress" in the epigraph.
131	* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: Theresa's family seems to disappear out of existence. Same with the Parker family's children who only appear a couple of times before being forgotten about again.
132	* WhatTheHellHero: Subverted. Even when Theresa literally turns the world upside down, the only people who object are marked down as hopelessly evil.
133	* YouAreNumberSix: Perhaps justified; Theresa and Steve name their [[MassivelyNumberedSiblings 420 children]] this way as numbers can be unique identifiers whereas names can sound similar which could get confusing.

Context Literature / EmpressTheresa