| 1 | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic Main]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2007Episodes 2007]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2008Episodes 2008]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2009Episodes 2009]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2010Episodes 2010]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2011Episodes 2011]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2012Episodes 2012]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2013Episodes 2013]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2014Episodes 2014]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2015Episodes 2015]] | '''2016''' | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2017Episodes 2017]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2018Episodes 2018]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2019Episodes 2019]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2020Episodes 2020]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2021Episodes 2021]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2022Episodes 2022]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2023Episodes 2023]] | [[Funny/TheNostalgiaCritic2024Episodes 2024]] |
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| 3 | %%Image removed via crowner in the Moments Images Cleanup Thread: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/crowner.php?crowner_id=osb4qz9d |
| 4 | %%https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=1642193091068711500 |
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| 7 | |
| 8 | |
| 9 | '''Moments pages are Administrivia/SpoilersOff. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.''' |
| 10 | |
| 11 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 12 | |
| 13 | ---- |
| 14 | [[folder:Why Do Good Directors Go Bad?]] |
| 15 | * The title card for Shyamalan Month is Shyamalan doing his Looney Tunes dance from the ''Film/AfterEarth'' [[Recap/TheNostalgiaCriticS7E13 review]]. |
| 16 | -->''Why does everybody keep on hiring me? All of my work is shiiiiiiiit!'' |
| 17 | [[/folder]] |
| 18 | |
| 19 | [[folder:The Happening]] |
| 20 | * [[ToiletHumor As childish as it is]], his setting [[Creator/ZooeyDeschanel Alma]]'s constant wide-eyed expression to [[PottyFailure pants-ruining farts]] is ''hilarious''. |
| 21 | * Critic notes the location of a nuclear power plant nearby a plant nursery and believes that that's the reason why the plants are killing everyone. |
| 22 | -->'''[[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Homer Simpson]]:''' D'oh! Mr. Burns, I'm afraid I caused Film/TheHappening!\ |
| 23 | '''Mr. Burns:''' Simpson, you idiot! Now we're trapped in an [[Creator/MNightShyamalan M. Night Shyamolian]] film! And not one of the [[Film/TheSixthSense good]] [[Film/{{Unbreakable}} ones!]] [[TakeThat Either of them!]] |
| 24 | ** Then [[BrickJoke at the end]]: |
| 25 | --->'''Homer Simpson:''' Marge, I caused The Happening! What's that? Flanders got run over by his lawnmower? Woo-hoo! |
| 26 | * While Elliot trying to negotiate with a plant is its own form of {{Narm}}, Critic takes it another way and points out that since some plants are making people sick, Elliot has jumped to the conclusion that all plants are evil and actively trying to kill humanity. He then presents Elliot's Most Wanted List: [[Film/TheWizardOfOz The Fighting Trees of Oz]], [[Film/TheLordOfTheRings Treebeard]], [[WesternAnimation/{{Pocahontas}} Grandmother Willow]], and [[Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy2014 Groot]]. |
| 27 | * "If we go west, we'll hit a county called Arundell [[labelnote:Note]] Pronounced similarly to Arendelle [[/labelnote]]. Dirt roads. Hardly anybody lives out there." |
| 28 | -->'''Critic:''' [[WesternAnimation/Frozen2013 They'll sing a song so much, you'll want to stab your ears out with an ICE PICK]], but aside from that, they're cool. |
| 29 | * Given the mention of hot dogs, the "cheese and crackers" line, the plants, and other FoodPorn, Critic concludes that Shyamalan wrote the entire movie while hungry. |
| 30 | * John Leguizamo's character rambling about the plot of ''Film/SuperMarioBros1993'', while killing himself. |
| 31 | -->'''Critic (as Julian):''' My name's Luigi Mario. I'm a Puerto Rican-Italian raised by a British-Italian who's both my father and my brother. I'm fighting a germaphobe dinosaur who's turned Lance Henriksen into a mushroom and thinks ordering a pizza is funny.[[note]]John Leguizamo is actually Colombian[[/note]] |
| 32 | * Earlier than above, he drives past a bunch of people who hanged themselves from trees. Critic says they saw an early screening of ''The Happening''. |
| 33 | * Critic utterly snapping at the line "We can’t just stand here as uninvolved observers!": |
| 34 | --> '''Critic:''' WHO TALKS LIKE THAT?!? This isn’t how we act, this is how… our ''computers'' think we act! "We’re uninvolved observers!" "Probability is very low!" "How should we react to dead people? ''A MATH PROBLEM!''" I think this was a joint writing team between [[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey HAL 9000]] and [[VideoGame/{{Portal}} [=GLaDOS=]]]! |
| 35 | * Rather than critique the infamous "What? No!" scene where Elliot tries to tell the elderly woman he isn't going to murder her, Critic decides to acknowledge the unintentional humor that this very scene has brought over the years by replacing Elliott's No with [[Film/StarWarsEpisodeIIIRevengeOfTheSith Darth Vader's]] [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!]] |
| 36 | [[/folder]] |
| 37 | |
| 38 | [[folder:Top 11 Funniest Shyamalan Moments]] |
| 39 | * It looks like Critic is still laughing at [[UnfortunateNames Cypher Raige's name]]. |
| 40 | ** Also,[[RunningGag ''DENIED!!'']] |
| 41 | * Critic can barely hold in his glee about how ridiculous ''Film/LadyInTheWater'' is to the point he has to do a full review of it so we see how bad it is. |
| 42 | [[/folder]] |
| 43 | |
| 44 | [[folder:Lady in the Water]] |
| 45 | * The opening segment showcases a poker game with Peyton Reed, Jennifer Lee, and Creator/PhilLordAndChrisMiller, all making bets on impossible premises for movies (''WesternAnimation/{{Frozen|2013}}'', ''Film/AntMan1'', and ''WesternAnimation/TheLegoMovie''). [[FunnyBackgroundEvent Rob messing around with his poker chips]] is a particular highlight. When Shyamalan pitches the movie, filled to the brim with CallARabbitASmeerp, we get this exchange. |
| 46 | -->'''Phil''': I heard a bum down the street shouting stuff like this.\ |
| 47 | '''[[WebVideo/BumReviews Bum]]''': (''offscreen'') Oh c'mon, even ''I'm'' not that high! |
| 48 | * Critic noting that Shyamalan seems to use the talking-into-the-camera trope the way director Roger Christian used the tilted-shot trope in ''Film/BattlefieldEarth'': |
| 49 | -->'''Critic (as Shyamalan and Christian):''' We're brilliant! We're brilliant! We do the brilliant dance... |
| 50 | * When Story introduces herself, we then get an interesting [[{{Pun}} story]] from Critic: |
| 51 | -->''I have two siblings, a older sister named Long Story and a younger sister named Short Story. I've a very honest mother we named True Story, an aging father named Old Story, a dead grandfather named Ghost Story, and for some reason, all of them remind me of my two pets, Cock and Bull Story.'' |
| 52 | * When Story tells Vick Ran that his writing will inspire future generations, including a president, but will lead to his death, Critic points out how much of an ego stroke that this is to Shyamalan, that he's almost certain that his erection is growing throughout the scene. He then replays the scene with a penis digitally added in, and as each point is relayed, it grows until it explodes. |
| 53 | * Critic's inability to keep his composure throughout the review. As each plot point comes to pass, he can't help but [[LaughingMad laugh hysterically at the growing levels of absurdity.]] |
| 54 | -->'''Critic''': Now, on to the spice rack, where I will predict the second coming of Jesus! |
| 55 | * The fact that Story's species is called a Narf leads to the inevitable reference to ''WesternAnimation/PinkyAndTheBrain'', with the conversation between Heep and Choi appropriately dubbed, and with Critic demanding the plot twist be that this is The Brain's latest plan to TakeOverTheWorld. |
| 56 | [[/folder]] |
| 57 | |
| 58 | [[folder:Tangled vs. Frozen]] |
| 59 | * At the beginning of the video, Critic explains that the rivalry between the two films is similar to the rivalries among geeks (picture of Batman and Superman), sports fans (picture of Soxs and Cubs) and girls doomed to disappointment (picture of Edward and Jacob from ''Twilight''). |
| 60 | * When he explains that he's never met a person who believes that they should marry someone they've just met, a picture of Hyper Fangirl appears in the left-hand corner. "I said ''person'', that's a nuisance." |
| 61 | * At the end of the video, after saying that it's okay to like one film better than another and that a rivalry is silly, Critic finishes by saying, [[HypocriticalHumor "And besides,]] ''[[HypocriticalHumor Frozen]]'' [[HypocriticalHumor is better."]] While the audience boos, he flips the bird at the camera. |
| 62 | [[/folder]] |
| 63 | |
| 64 | [[folder:Labyrinth]] |
| 65 | * Critic Dad offhandedly saying this to his wife about his child (played by Tamara): |
| 66 | -->[[CrossesTheLineTwice This is what the morning-after pill is for.]] |
| 67 | * In the 80s, the PG stood for "Parental Guidance." Nowadays, it stands for "[[AvoidTheDreadedGRating Practically G]]." Cue little girl Tamara being scarred for life and [[TroubledFetalPosition rocking back and forth]] [[CornerOfWoe in the corner]]. |
| 68 | -->'''Tamara (as the Mom):''' Will she ever socialize again?\ |
| 69 | '''Ad-man''': If she does, [[AnimationAgeGhetto just show her]] ''WesternAnimation/WatershipDown''. |
| 70 | ** The intro is made HilariousInHindsight when Tamara [[https://youtu.be/tJOgFxlwKd0 finally sat down to watch]] ''Film/ReturnToOz'' for the first time, and basically affirmed that, had she seen it as a child, she ''would'' have been in that TroubledFetalPosition due to how legitimately horrifying it was. |
| 71 | --->'''Tamara''': I just cannot ''imagine'' [[WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids watching this as a child]]. Are you kidding me? ''Wheelers''? No-o-o-o. No, what the fuck, how did you ''watch'' this as a kid? How did you do that? Oh my god - is that why [[Creator/DougWalker the Walker brothers]] are so weird? Huh. [[ThisExplainsSoMuch It all makes sense]]. |
| 72 | * Critic's quips on Sarah's behavior and Jennifer Connelly's [[LargeHam melodramatic performance]] in the beginning of the movie: |
| 73 | ** "Future Oscar winner everyone! Couldn't you just predict it?" |
| 74 | ** "[[ValuesDissonance There are so many medications she'd be on today]]." |
| 75 | --->'''Critic as Dad:''' You know what you need honey? |
| 76 | --->'''Critic as Sarah:''' Magic and mystery? |
| 77 | --->'''Dad:''' No, Zoloft and Ritalin. Just mix it in with the liquid tranquilizer. |
| 78 | * Critic calling the goblins "[[TakeThat An army of Trump supporters]]." |
| 79 | * An owl flies through the window just before Jareth makes his appearance. Critic: 'Hogwarts calling, biatch!' |
| 80 | * Music/DavidBowie's clearly visible pants bulge is so impossible to ignore, that Critic spends the rest of the review making jokes about it, as well as a Top 15 David Bowie Dick Jokes countdown. |
| 81 | * A sketch in response to the completely out-of-nowhere "Dancing Fire Goblin" scene shows Malcolm as an editor (named Bill) and Doug as Creator/JimHenson. Though Bill wants to cut the scene, Henson insists it be kept because they "worked so hard" on it. After finally convincing him with Kermit The Frog, they decide to sing the alphabet song, which is abruptly ended [[https://youtu.be/CiT6q8VJZjg when Malcolm says Cookie Monster]]. |
| 82 | -->'''Jim Henson[=/=]Kermit:''' ''(after his angry rant)'' I mean, yay! ''(Bill tries to gently stroke Kermit's cheek)'' Don't ever touch me, Bill.\ |
| 83 | '''Bill:''' Sorry.\ |
| 84 | '''Jim Henson[=/=]Kermit:''' That was Rizzo the Rat's mistake. |
| 85 | * When the Goblin King shows his labyrinth to Sarah. |
| 86 | -->'''Sarah:''' Is that the castle beyond the goblin city?\ |
| 87 | '''Critic (as Music/DavidBowie):''' No, that's a painting, that's a model, and that's a very poor bluescreen effect. But what do you care? I'm David Bowie. |
| 88 | * [[RunningGag Repeated use of the "Tra la la" clip.]] |
| 89 | -->'''Critic:''' ... even for ''Bowie'', [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext that was a weird thing to say]]. |
| 90 | * Sarah's [[EasilyForgiven quick forgiveness of Hoggle]]: |
| 91 | --->'''Critic (as Hoggle):''' You don't mind that I poisoned you? |
| 92 | --->'''Critic (as Sarah):''' Hey you got me a dance with Music/DavidBowie, we're square. |
| 93 | * Critic's theory that the dance party at the end (and the entire movie) is really a product of Sarah overdosing on painkillers: |
| 94 | --->'''Sarah's father (walking in on Sarah laying on the floor foaming from the mouth):''' Dear God! Honey, she's gotten into the pain meds again! |
| 95 | --->'''Tamara as Sarah:''' Dance magic, dance! |
| 96 | [[/folder]] |
| 97 | |
| 98 | [[folder:Spawn]] |
| 99 | * The review starts with Critic walking into the room... and INSTANTLY getting sent to Hell, where he is recruited by Kermit The Frog to command TheLegionsOfHell. |
| 100 | * Critic describing Malebolgia as a pile of shit given a hyena face, sea turtle dicks for "ears", Ron Weasley's pubic hair, and [[WesternAnimation/InspectorGadget Doctor Claw's voice]]. |
| 101 | ** As well as describing the Violator's [[MonsterClown Clown]] guise as an evil Creator/SamKinison mixed with [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Krusty the Klown]]. |
| 102 | * Critic implying that [[EvenEvilHasStandards even]] [[WesternAnimation/HeManAndTheMastersOfTheUniverse1983 Skeletor]] [[EvenEvilHasStandards would think the villain is trying too hard.]] |
| 103 | -->'''Critic (as Skeletor):''' Okay, you need to tone it down a bit, buddy... |
| 104 | * The Devil taking notes on how to be cool. He uses a pen shaped like a pink tentacle and a ''WesternAnimation/DocMcStuffins'' pad, and angrily demands Critic not to judge him. |
| 105 | * Critic reacting to an air freshener in Wanda's car having the Violator's mug on it. |
| 106 | * The first time Critic tries to introduce the movie, he's interrupted by Nicol Williamson's narration. |
| 107 | * Hell for those that die in Hell is apparently [[TakeThat TMZ]]. When Benny takes out the Devil's original assassin, [[BrickJoke she is sent there and screams in fear]]. |
| 108 | * The Violator's quip to Jason Wynn about starting the [[ActorAllusion apocalypse now]] (Because Martin Sheen was in [[Film/ApocalypseNow that movie]], ha ha, get it?) leads to the Critic asking the Devil to have [[LamePunReaction all of Hell boo the line]]. |
| 109 | * Critic is freaked out by the Violator dressed in a cheerleader's outfit. |
| 110 | * When the movie doesn't show the obligatory sports montage, Critic wonders what would happen if other films did the same thing. |
| 111 | -->'''[[Film/{{Rocky}} Mickey]]:''' Hit the bag! ''(Rocky does so)'' You're good.\ |
| 112 | '''[[Franchise/StarWars Yoda]]:''' Lift the rock. ''(Luke does so)'' That's enough.\ |
| 113 | '''[[Film/TheKarateKid Mr. Miyagi]]:''' Wax on...Eh, the rest doesn't matter... |
| 114 | * Critic is disappointed by the final battle being more like a bad bargain bin [=PS1=] game. |
| 115 | * After giving the Devil pointers based on the movie, Critic is sent back to Earth, where he sees Satan announcing his invasion of Earth...with several Kermit puppets singing [[Film/TheMuppetsTakeManhattan "Right Where We Belong"]]. |
| 116 | [[/folder]] |
| 117 | |
| 118 | [[folder:Is Goofy Secretly Badass?]] |
| 119 | * Critic introducing the golden age of Goofy cartoons, denoting both his [[AudienceAlienatingEra dork ages]]. |
| 120 | -->'''Critic:''' But everyone always overlooks one comedic badass! (flash to the title screen from ''WesternAnimation/GoofTroop'') Before that... (flash to Dippy Dawg from ''Mickey's Revue'') After that... (flash to a shot from ''How to Play Football'', with one Goofy football player being tackled by a bunch of other Goofy football plays who dogpile on top of one another) Yes! |
| 121 | * Critic referring to Goofy's son from the classic cartoons as "not-Max". |
| 122 | * After seeing the "Birds + Bees" joke from ''Teachers Are People'', Critic makes a heart symbol with his hands and coyly shouts "Disney!". |
| 123 | [[/folder]] |
| 124 | |
| 125 | [[folder:CatsAndDogs]] |
| 126 | * In the opening of the movie, a woman is setting a pie on the window sill in her 50's style dress with a bow in her apron (because somebody somewhere thinks somebody somewhere still does that) when a cat and dog land on her. There's a very baffling blank, shocked look on her face before the impact with the dog. |
| 127 | -->'''Critic:''' What the hell kind of face is that? Comedic expressions are supposed to get bigger as more stuff happens, not scale down. How do you even duplicate that face? ''[Comedic music plays as NC attempts to duplicate the woman's reaction. It goes on for a bit, before NC gives up]'' What direction do you give to get a face like that?! (As the director) "All right, I want you to act like you just discovered you lost your first-born child, but you found out while shoving the world's greatest vibrator in you." (The woman's expression is shown again, with a vibrator sound effect) Specific, but... confusing. |
| 128 | * This: |
| 129 | -->'''Critic:''' Fun fact: this film was originally supposed to be a crossover between a bad CGI Film/{{Garfield}} and a bad CGI Film/{{Marmaduke}}, until they realized "[[NoJustNoReaction No]]". |
| 130 | * The incredibly morbid joke about Taco Bell. |
| 131 | * Critic gets penalized by Malcolm, who's posing as a referee, for making an easy joke at Alec Baldwin's dog character. |
| 132 | -->'''Critic:''' Ideal casting having Alec Baldwin play a bitch. |
| 133 | -->''(A whistle blows as a penalty flag gets thrown onto the critic's desk)'' |
| 134 | -->'''Critic:''' OH COME ON! |
| 135 | ** He then has to say something nice about the film as punishment. |
| 136 | -->'''Critic:''' ... [[DamnedByFaintPraise At least it's not Santa Paws?]] |
| 137 | ** This joke comes back later in the review when the critic makes an incredibly forced pun. Malcolm penalizes him once more and they get into a hilarious argument that's drowned out by the fake play by play commentators. The argument at one point gets to such an absurd degree that Doug and Malcolm just start shouting "WHAT?" repeatedly at each other while mimicking each other's head movements. |
| 138 | * The cat in the beginning of the film pretends to be dead, which leads to... |
| 139 | -->'''[[Film/ArmyOfDarkness Ash]]:''' It's a trick. Get an axe. |
| 140 | * Malcolm plays a kid who loves disturbing, dark media to illustrate Critic's confusion at the audience who'd want to watch slapstick violence applied to real animals. To really hammer the "weird and depraved" element in, Malcolm's holding a naked ''Toys/MonsterHigh'' doll. |
| 141 | * Critic gets disturbed by Sam the sheepdog panting heavily with only his face in the frame, finally opting to close his eyes to think of Creator/CatherineZetaJones... only to [[{{Squick}} wind up combining the two]]. |
| 142 | -->'''Critic:''' (''Plays the clip with Jones' face superimposed'') Actually, I might have started a brand-new fetish... |
| 143 | ** Done later when Ivey gives Lou a belly scratch in a very suggestive way: |
| 144 | --->'''Critic:''' Okay, the almost perverted imagery in this film is almost making me uncomfortable. ''[The clip of Sam panting heavily is inserted in the upper right corner]'' Okay, ''now'' it's making me uncomfortable! I don't like this R-rated cut for ''Secret Lives of Pets''! |
| 145 | * The RunningGag where Aunt Despair films Critic doing random cat or dog-like things for no particular reason. Despite him demanding an explanation as to why he's being forced to do it, she refuses to give him an explanation. It's revealed at the end of the video that she cut the film together to make a clickbait type video where "Nostalgia Critic" (actually just clips of Uncle Lies' mouth sloppily pasted over the actual Critic) would negatively review [[Film/Deadpool2016 Deadpool]]. Critic threatens to report them to Website/YouTube and have their channel pulled, but she responds that they told Fox every one of his videos has Deadpool in them and his channel will be pulled before he can make the report. Critic replies that it's ridiculous since all they would need to do is watch one of his videos to see that he doesn't constantly reference Deadpool in his reviews [[TakeThat at which point a notification appears that says 20th Century Fox has issued a copyright claim for said video.]] |
| 146 | * The part where the ninja cats and Lou are fighting in the kitchen in and freeze in the air Matrix Style: |
| 147 | -->'''Critic:''' Little known fact: [[BlatantLies this was the first film to actually parody]] ''Film/TheMatrix''. (''beat'') Oh wait, no it wasn't, [[ItsBeenDone it was the 157,000th!]] (''sarcastically'') But it still feels really fresh right? |
| 148 | * During Lou's battle with the stereotypical [[AsianSpeekeeEngrish ninja cats]]... |
| 149 | -->''[singing]'' [[WesternAnimation/LadyAndTheTramp We are racist-ese if you prease...]] |
| 150 | * Alexander Pollack's performance as Scott Brody is so unsettlingly generic-yet-weird that Critic hypothesizes several scenarios that explain what Brody is. This ranges from being an animatronic, to a CGI character, to a hand puppet. |
| 151 | * Charles Brody (played by [[Creator/JeffGoldblum Jeff-uh-Gold-uh-blum-uh]]) is trying to find a cure for dog allergies but the look of his basement laboratory makes Critic think that he's actually creating a bomb, and that his handiwork will soon become part of an ISIS auction. Which by the way, if you happen to know anyone who's been to an ISIS auction, please let him know, he has to make a few... phone calls. |
| 152 | ** Rob's Jeff Goldblum impression returns. |
| 153 | --->"Oh no. My rainbow of fruit flavors. Now no one will be able to try 'trout strawberry.'" |
| 154 | * Critic changing the sign that reads "laugh" to "silently judge" after Butch said "Son of my mom!" |
| 155 | [[/folder]] |
| 156 | |
| 157 | [[folder:Was The Mask Supposed to be Gory?]] |
| 158 | * Critic starts off talking about how ''Film/TheMask'' spawned an AnimatedAdaptation as well as "[[TakeThat an instructional video]] for the AntiChrist", complete with picture of [[CallBack Evilina and her father]]. |
| 159 | * Critic explains that if you are squeamish, you should not watch the video. He then proceeds to show a scene of someone cutting their cheek open, going into great detail over it. It eventually gets to the point where ''the video itself'' faints. |
| 160 | ** Told ya! |
| 161 | [[/folder]] |
| 162 | |
| 163 | [[folder:Phantom of the Opera]] |
| 164 | * The opening scene has Malcolm auctioning off story ideas and among the folks at the auction is... Jim Jarosz as [[Film/StarWarsTheForceAwakens Kylo Ren]], contemplating his lightsaber. |
| 165 | * The Fandumb and the horse, the latter which becomes a prominent character later on in the review even flying away with the Fandumb near the end of the video. The Horse itself is some guy with a gruff ([[{{Pun}} ''hoarse?'']]) voice, a horse-mask and a pinstripe shirt. |
| 166 | * Critic getting annoyed with the talking musical number in which everything gets messed up, in which he HAD to text everyone to tell them to shut up. When he thought it was all over, cue Hyper Fangirl coming in to complain/sing. When he sees her, he suddenly hides behind a couch... only for Aunt Despiar/the bad mom to hit him with a cell phone and give two [[FlippingTheBird middle fingers at the others.]] |
| 167 | * The Fandumb and Creator/MichaelCrawford's Phantom singing a parody of ''The Point of No Return''. They practically parodied Crawford's singing style by having the Fandumb {{Lampshade}} the different pitches he goes through. |
| 168 | * TheReveal of the Fandumb. It's Creator/AndrewLloydWebber who wanted to promote ''Theatre/LoveNeverDies''. |
| 169 | * Chester A. Bum is a hoot in this episode in general. |
| 170 | ** Especially when he's getting blown up by the horse with a bomb in order to mirror Buquet's death in the film. What's even funnier about it is the fact that he blows up right in front of Tim and Beth as they're shooting a scene and they end up continuing on as if nothing has happened, at the insistence of Critic. He later appears as a ghost in the cemetery while Beth and Hyper Fangirl sing, crying about how his problems aren't as bad as theirs, despite clearly being dead. |
| 171 | ** What's even better is Critic's reaction. He stands up, yells "OH MY GOD!"... and then sits back down, acting like nothing happened. |
| 172 | ** Before that, it's Chester's encounter with the horse. |
| 173 | --->'''Chester:''' Oh, that's a pity. I will smoke three jays in [Hyper Fangirl's] honor. ''(does so; and then makes a high-pitched yelp when he sees the horse)'' Whoa, this stuff works fast!\ |
| 174 | '''Horse:''' The Fandumb hears you like making fun of his movie, saying everybody's high?\ |
| 175 | '''Chester:''' Yeah, but, if you know me, you know that's not really an insult. |
| 176 | * Aunt Despair is hilarious whenever she shows up, given her deadpan tone throughout the entire thing. |
| 177 | * The idea of Hyper and Devil Boner going on dates to the very high market Pottery Barn is adorable and hilarious. |
| 178 | [[/folder]] |
| 179 | |
| 180 | [[folder:How Right Are Trailers?]] |
| 181 | * Critic says you shouldn't judge a movie by its trailer... except ''[[Film/{{FantasticFour2015}} Fant4stic]]'', [[TakeThat you were right about that one.]] |
| 182 | [[/folder]] |
| 183 | |
| 184 | [[folder:The Adventures of Pluto Nash]] |
| 185 | * Trying to bail on the review early, Critic invites the audience to go watch WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob's new review: ''[[NakedPeopleAreFunny Naked]] Kirk Cameron Saves Naked [[Film/Halloween1978 Michael Myers]] On [[RuleOfThree Naked]] [[ChristmasEpisode Christmas]]'' |
| 186 | -->'''Snob:''' [[CrossesTheLineTwice The twist is it's really Naked]] ''[[CrossesTheLineTwice Kwanzaa.]]'' |
| 187 | * Critic finds ''Pluto Nash'' so formulaic and boring that he's decided to mimic the film and literally phone in his performance. A few seconds later, the real Critic is seen picking out costumes of ComicBook/{{Batman}} and ComicBook/{{Superman}} as possible hints for [[Film/BatmanVSupermanDawnOfJustice the subject of his next review]]. |
| 188 | --> '''Critic''': [[BlatantLies I swear this isn't a clue]] |
| 189 | ** It comes back later, with [[WebVideo/TheAngryJoeShow Angry Joe]] showing up. |
| 190 | * Nash reacting predictably to the obvious VisualPun of him and a photo of dwarf planet Pluto, telling Critic that even that joke had more effort put into it than anything in the actual film. |
| 191 | * Critic notices that even Eddie Murphy thinks the name "Pluto Nash" is lame, and suggests [[Film/JupiterAscending "Jupiter Jones"]] as a more sensible alternative. |
| 192 | * "But two representatives of Rex Crater want to buy his club for $10 million dollars. Or as they call it, 10 million [[UsefulNotes/HillaryRodhamClinton Hillaries]].[[note]]The money has Hillary Clinton's face on the bills[[/note]] Okay, this is a tough one, because at the date this review is coming out[[note]]March 2016[[/note]], I don't know if [[HilariousInHindsight this is]] [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hillary_Clinton_presidential_campaign,_2016 incredibly clever]] or incredibly dated. So, for the first time ever, I am giving you a multiple choice joke. Just come back after November 8th, 2016 and choose from one of these options." |
| 193 | ** If Bernie Sanders wins (Option A): "Well, they can obviously throw that prop in the fire. It wouldn't be the first time that she felt the Bern." |
| 194 | ** If Hillary Clinton wins (Option B): "Well, she bought the rest of Hollywood to get the presidency. Are we really surprised by this?" |
| 195 | ** If UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump wins (Option C): Cut to Critic dressed up in a Nazi uniform with two Trump statues in the background. He then yells in a stereotypical German accent about getting the Muslims out and building a wall, at which point [[Music/TheWall the Walking Hammers]] show up. |
| 196 | * A later joke about Trump Realty is also considered hard to judge as either clever or dated. |
| 197 | * Critic calling Creator/RandyQuaid "Canada's most dangerous criminal". |
| 198 | * Critic wonders if Randy Quaid's character was modelled after the [[Film/GalaxyQuest Thermians]]. |
| 199 | -->'''Critic''': ''(imitating Mathesar)'' You will find my voice as grating as a blender on your nads. |
| 200 | * Even the commercial break music appears to have given up, as Critic's usual theme song is briefly replaced with a much lower-quality tune that sounds like it was taken from a '90s sitcom. |
| 201 | * Critic is incredulous about Creator/RosarioDawson's character [[HollywoodHomely needing futuristic plastic surgery]], insisting that she's already pretty attractive the way she is. |
| 202 | * Malcolm and Tamara playing a pair of gods giving a halfhearted performance. They're also upset that they were robbed of their day off and can't phone it in like the Critic is doing. [[TakeThatAudience They take their anger out on the audience watching.]] |
| 203 | -->'''Malcolm:''' Thanks a lot, dickholes!\ |
| 204 | '''Tamara:''' You can take your love of Creator/EddieMurphy and shove it up your ass! |
| 205 | * During the MirrorMatch between Pluto and his evil clone: |
| 206 | -->'''Critic (as Eddie Murphy):''' [[AndThisIsFor This is for]] ''Film/DaddyDayCare''! [[AndThisIsFor This is for]] ''Film/{{Norbit}}''! [[AndThisIsFor This is for]] ''Film/MeetDave''! [[AndThisIsFor And this is for]] defending Creator/BillCosby when everybody knew he was guilty! [[http://variety.com/2015/tv/news/eddie-murphy-bill-cosby-snl-40-1201617753/ Look it up... I did that!]] |
| 207 | [[/folder]] |
| 208 | |
| 209 | [[folder:Was That Real? Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain]] |
| 210 | * In spite of the fact the show was created under protest, the Critic ends up actually praising the show, and goes as far as to say that it was a more well-done crossover than ''Film/BatmanVSupermanDawnOfJustice''. |
| 211 | [[/folder]] |
| 212 | |
| 213 | [[folder:Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice]] |
| 214 | * The portrayal of Creator/ZackSnyder as a nasally dweeb. |
| 215 | * When Critic and Joe review the beginning of the movie, Zack notes that they are putting in ''Film/BatmanBegins'' instead. They only reply "Exactly!!" |
| 216 | ** The mugger kills Bruce's parents with a single bullet thought their heads. |
| 217 | ** Critic mentions that this is a scene with so many representations in all media that he is surprised it doesn't have action figures yet. [[CrossesTheLineTwice The next transition uses these hypothetical action figures.]] |
| 218 | * "I will avenge you, man the audience barely knows… ''AS WELL AS ALL THE DEATHS WE’RE ONLY NOW ACKNOWLEDGING MIGHT BE SUPERMAN’S FAULT!''" |
| 219 | * Lex Luthor trying to bribe the agent with Jolly Ranchers. |
| 220 | -->'''Lex:''' ''(overly excited)'' Cherry!\ |
| 221 | '''Agent:''' ''(solemly)'' Cherry... |
| 222 | * "[[RunningGag By the way, Wonder Woman's in this movie.]]" |
| 223 | -->'''Tamara:''' ''(cosplaying Wonder Woman, walking by with little provocation)'' Hello! |
| 224 | ** And then she finally stays in one scene. |
| 225 | --->'''Joe:''' After Wonder Woman ''finally'' joins the team... \ |
| 226 | '''Tamara (as Wonder Woman):''' Hello! ''(Joe Superman holds her and places her in the center)'' Oh, I get to stay this time? Awesome. |
| 227 | * Critic and Joe list off five things wrong with Lex Luthor in this movie, [[RuleOfThree three of them]] being [[QuestionableCasting Jesse Eisenberg]]. |
| 228 | * Lex Luthor gradually transforming into the Joker. |
| 229 | ** First at Clark and Bruce's first meeting, where they both gave him black eyes. |
| 230 | --->'''Critic (as Bruce):''' Who's the pipsqueak? \ |
| 231 | '''Joe (as Clark):''' That's Lex Luthor. \ |
| 232 | '''Critic (as Bruce):''' Nooo! \ |
| 233 | '''Joe (as Clark):''' Afraid so. \ |
| 234 | '''Critic (as Bruce):''' Does he ever shut up? \ |
| 235 | '''Joe (as Clark):''' I don't know. Let's ask him. \ |
| 236 | ''(both give an OffhandBackhand to Lex and leave him with both eyes black)'' \ |
| 237 | '''Lex:''' Oh... Well, I guess I had this coming. See you later, boys. [[Film/TheMask Sssssmokin'!!!]] ''(runs with his head still in frame)'' |
| 238 | ** Then when he disses Lois' relevance by putting on a purple coat. |
| 239 | --->'''Lex:''' ''(while putting on a purple coat)'' Is it chilly out here or is it the sheer uselessess of your character? |
| 240 | ** Finally when Joe Superman smears a cherry candy on his face. |
| 241 | --->'''Lex:''' My plan is chaos! God vs god! Anarchy! The bell has been rung! Ding-ding-ding! Let's put a smile on that face! |
| 242 | ** At the end, once he's sent to jail, he still tries to convince the audience that he really is Lex because he's bald now. Despite still having the aforementioned black eyes and smothered cherry candy. |
| 243 | * Lois reminding everyone that ''she is important''. |
| 244 | ** Before Luthor's men kidnap her, Lois stops them saying that she is so used to this that she even brought her own chloroform. |
| 245 | ** Lois thinks that her essential role was to figure out that [[CaptainObviousReveal Lex Luthor is the bad guy]], Luthor counters that he did all the impossible shit [[OffscreenMomentOfAwesome offscreen]] while she was on that. And then pushes her off the building since [[DamselInDistress it's the only thing she's really good at]]. |
| 246 | ** By the last scene, even Superman gets fed up with Lois being always a DamselInDistress. |
| 247 | --->'''Tamara (as Lois):''' Then I will throw this over here (grabs the kryptonite spear and tosses it in a well) \ |
| 248 | '''Lex:''' Haha! I've created the ultimate Kryptonian monster! \ |
| 249 | '''Tamara (as Lois):''' I'll just... Go and get it... ''(a second later)'' Oh, no! I'm drowning in the water! \ |
| 250 | (both Batman and Superman get annoyed) \ |
| 251 | '''Joe (as Superman):''' What is this? Like the ''fourth'' time?! [[DullSurprise I'll save you, Lois. And I'll grab the Kryptonite, which is the only thing that weakens me]]. \ |
| 252 | '''Tamara (as Lois):''' I'm important! \ |
| 253 | '''Joe (as Superman):''' Yeah, yeah. ''Used'' to be. \ |
| 254 | '''Critic (as Batman):''' [[CatchPhrase And I'm Batman]]. |
| 255 | * Superman and Batman's confrontations, where both of them [[HypocriticalHumor hates the other because the other kills]]. |
| 256 | ** First at Lex's party, in their civilian identities. All their stats of people fearing them are shown like a Baseball team stats. |
| 257 | *** Specifically, one of them voices their complaints about the other, immediately followed by the baseball stats [[HypocriticalHumor showing how the]] hero speaking is guilty of the exact same things, in very large numbers. |
| 258 | *** For Batman's stats, the count of "People Harmed by Him" is [[PersonOfMassDestruction "GOD KNOWS"]] and the number of "Psychiatrists Who Say Dressing up as a Bat is WAY PAST 1% Unstable" is 9,254,902,764[[note]]Which is more psychiatrists [[BeyondTheImpossible than there are people living on the planet]][[/note]]. |
| 259 | *** Also, when they notice each other, Clark throws away his glass of champagne. Bruce shoots his glass with a gun. |
| 260 | ** Then their second encounter when Batman is stealing the kryptonite from Lex's minions. |
| 261 | *** While Batman declares that he values human life to Superman, he is killing minions without looking. |
| 262 | *** When Batman asks him if he bleeds, he shrinks the second Joe!Superman is about to punch him. |
| 263 | *** Superman asks him why he didn't kill him yet if he is so "bloodthirsty". |
| 264 | ---->'''Critic (as Batman):''' Because... I intimidate you? Boo? |
| 265 | *** And when Batman finishes his rhetorical question after Sups leaves, Joe!Superman returns just to smash his car. |
| 266 | ---->'''Critic (as Batman)''': Oh, ''real mature!!'' |
| 267 | * Critic and Joe deconstructing the plot point where Lex Luthor uses fake fingerprints to access Zod's ship. To prove how ridiculous it is, they take a cellphone, which prompts them for the passcode. After reassuring it that its owner is dead, the phone opens. When Snyder asks whose phone it is, they casually respond that it is his, and browse through his photos of [[Film/ThreeHundred Spartan porn.]] |
| 268 | ** It's made even better by Joe's disgusted reaction to it. |
| 269 | * Doomsday being portrayed as General Zod (as played by Rob Walker) with Luthor's hair. |
| 270 | -->'''Rob (as Doomsday):''' [[DullSurprise Rawr, rawr, I am your doomsday. Brrrrrrr.]] '''[[MemeticMutation I WILL FIND HIM!!!]]''' |
| 271 | ** And later, when he prepares to clash with Superman: |
| 272 | --->'''Rob (as Doomsday):''' '''I WILL FIGHT HIM!!!''' |
| 273 | ** Critic realizing that Lex Luthor combining his DNA with Kryptonian DNA to create an uncontrollable monster is essentially Nuclear Man, the villain from ''Film/SupermanIVTheQuestForPeace'', a.k.a. ''the worst Superman movie ever''. |
| 274 | * Joe goes on a lengthy and very aggressive rant about why he thinks Superman's death is rubbish. All throughout his rant, [[TheStoic Nostalgia Critic stays extremely calm, in a neutral pose.]] And when Joe finally finishes his rant, Critic merely adds a little "Ditto." |
| 275 | ** There's also his casual dismissal of Jimmy Olsen, suggesting that Joe actually ''wanted'' to see him die. |
| 276 | * Despite the movie's flaws and their long list of criticisms towards it, Joe and Critic actually ''liked'' the film and are still recommending it. So why did they barge in Zack Snyder's office? To try to get to write the following film. They both end up with a black eye for their efforts. |
| 277 | -->'''Critic:''' [[LampshadeHanging That is a very violent man.]] |
| 278 | * A FreezeFrameBonus: Zack Snyder's nametag reads "Zack Schneider", but at the beginning of the review, it is correctly named "Zack Snyder". |
| 279 | [[/folder]] |
| 280 | |
| 281 | [[folder:When Are Critics Wrong?]] |
| 282 | * The Critic starts the review with a marathon of BlatantLies. Saying that once you become a Critic, you drink a special fluid that makes you automatically become smarter then everyone else and your opinion is always correct. And he ends by lip-syncing to the [[Film/TheStarWarsHolidaySpecial "Tree of Life" song.]] |
| 283 | -->'''Critic:''' ''(the phrase "BULLSHIT!" pops up, to a buzzer sound)'' Alright, as many of you probably figured out, that's ''not'' how things work. |
| 284 | * At one point, he mentions how critics enjoyed the first ''Film/RushHour'' movie, but hated the sequels because Chris Tucker was too loud and talked too much in them. |
| 285 | -->'''Critic:''' ''(confused)'' DID YOU ''SEE'' THE FIRST FILM?!? |
| 286 | * There has to be something funny, in all senses of the word, when the Critic mentions that ''WesternAnimation/BeavisAndButtHeadDoAmerica'' and ''Film/GhostsOfMississippi'' both debuted the same weekend -- and ''Beavis and Butt-Head'', despite being a lowbrow animated comedy, was actually given higher praise from critics than ''Ghosts'', which critics denounced as melodramatic and [[OscarBait an attempted Oscar grab]]. |
| 287 | -->'''Critic:''' The movie usually loved by critics was being beaten out by the one usually ''despised'' by critics. It was so weird to see this dramatic true story about race being beaten out by ''Beavis and Butt-Head Do America''! |
| 288 | * The Critic reveals that ''Film/HomeAlone'' was hated by critics on arrival, due to it being a slapstick starring a little kid that just happens to take place at Christmas. |
| 289 | -->'''Critic:''' Oh, it's a Christmas classic now? Well, um... ''(points at camera)'' YOU WERE ALL BRAINWASHED! |
| 290 | [[/folder]] |
| 291 | |
| 292 | [[folder:Blade]] |
| 293 | * The opening of the review has Marvel and DC talking about plans with not just their movies, but also TV shows and cartoons while giving little to no shit about their comics. |
| 294 | ** The [[FunnyBackgroundEvent whiteboard behind]] Marvel that writes: "If [[Creator/{{Disney}} Mickey]] calls - DON'T ANSWER!!!" |
| 295 | * Blade, played by Wesley Snipes, is introduced with [[Film/DemolitionMan John Spartan's infamous PHOENIX/PENIS!!! yell]]. |
| 296 | * Critic jokingly has Deacon suggest to the Elder vampires that they create the hipster style. |
| 297 | * Critic notices the vampires are watching ''Film/MortalKombatTheMovie'': |
| 298 | -->"[[SarcasmMode Yeah, you're gonna find a lot of blood in that movie!]]" |
| 299 | * "In case you forgot, that bat means that [[CaptainObvious they are vampires]]." |
| 300 | * When Whistler explains to Karen that Blade is a Daywalker, a human who receives most of the strengths of a vampire, and none of the weaknesses, Critic slips in a joke about Wesley Snipes' tax evasion arrest, then demands credit that he lasted 13 minutes of the review without making one quip. |
| 301 | * Critic replaying the car chase scene and and speeding up the [[DirtyCop cop]] [[TheRenfield familiar's ]] voice making him a [[WesternAnimation/TheAlvinShow Chipmunk]]. |
| 302 | * Critic using fake [[Franchise/StarWars Huttese]] during Blade's interrogation of Pearl. |
| 303 | * "So Blade once again breaks into Frost's headquarters, he turns a vampire's head into [[WesternAnimation/VeggieTales Bob the Tomato]]" ''[[[YourHeadAsplode vampire's head explodes]]]'' "or, Bob the Ketchup..." |
| 304 | * Critic wonders why it took so long for TheReveal that Blade's mother, Vanessa, was turned into a vampire by Frost. This leads to him acting out a conversation where Frost is trying to figure out what Blade's weakness is. When Vanessa tries to say something, he shushes her only to have a breakthrough... That he really likes Oreos. This leads to a freeze frame montage of him enjoying mini-Oreos at a college party. |
| 305 | * The final battle between Blade and Frost. First, it uses the NES version ''VideoGame/NinjaGaiden''[='=]s sound effects and music, then, it shifts to WesternAnimation/WoodyWoodpecker sound effects when Frost gains the upper hand. |
| 306 | * "Blade does [[UsefulNotes/SigmundFreud Freud]] proud by [[AccidentalInnuendo penetrating his mother with a long hard bone]]. |
| 307 | -->'''Picture of Sigmund Freud''': Wow. |
| 308 | * To this day, the line, "Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill" still doesn't make any sense to Critic, who wonders what other lines could have been said in its place: |
| 309 | -->'''Critic (as Blade):''' Some mothertruckers are always trying to put diesel in their [=SUVs=].\ |
| 310 | '''Critic (as Blade):''' Some peanut M&Ms are always trying to melt in your hand but not in your mouth.\ |
| 311 | '''Critic (as Blade):''' Some sushi patrons are always trying to mix their soy sauce with wasabi.\ |
| 312 | '''Critic (as Blade):''' Some fast food lovers are always ordering Little Caesars without the crazy bread.\ |
| 313 | '''Critic (as Blade):''' Some vacationers are always trying to go to Disney World at peak times when it's obvious that mid-November through mid-December is the best time to go. I mean seriously. Just bring a sweater and you'll be fine. And don't forget to take advantage of those hotel villages with free shuttle bus service. Full price for their monorail access resorts? I don't think so, Mouse! |
| 314 | ** On the last one, the shot repeatedly zooms in and out to get everything said. |
| 315 | * Frost's death by the Vampire Serum, in which he swells up and then explodes, leads to Critic yelling [[{{Manga/Akira}} KANEDAAAAAAA!]] |
| 316 | * [[SubvertedCatchPhrase "I'm the Nostalgia Critic and]] [[BrickJoke some Fruit by the Foots are always a few inches short."]] |
| 317 | [[/folder]] |
| 318 | |
| 319 | [[folder:Is This the Best Batman Movie?]] |
| 320 | * At the beginning, the Critic asks what the best Batman movie is. The answer comes up: ''Film/BatmanAndRobin'', to which he replies by leaning forward toward the camera and going, [[HaHaHaNo "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa...!"]] |
| 321 | * The Critic expresses incredulity at the Creator/JoelSchumacher [[Film/BatmanAndRobin Batman]] [[Film/BatmanForever movies]] being released on Blu-Ray, but not ''[[WesternAnimation/BatmanMaskOfThePhantasm Mask of the Phantasm]]''. |
| 322 | [[/folder]] |
| 323 | |
| 324 | [[folder:Old vs New: Cinderella]] |
| 325 | * Devil Boner and Hyper Fangirl are still together... and Benny the Assassin is jealous. |
| 326 | ** Benny's "People Who Dun Fucked Up" list, to which he adds the Fangirl. The list also includes UsefulNotes/FidelCastro, [[UsefulNotes/NorthKorea Kim Jong Un]], and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking the cast of]] ''Series/{{Friends}}''. |
| 327 | * Devil Boner's random war generator, which he eagerly uses when Fangirl tells him to go off and start a random war with a random country: |
| 328 | -->'''Devil Boner:''' ''(after using it)'' Jamaica it is! ''(runs off)'' |
| 329 | ** While there, he calls the Fangirl on her phone and tells her how easy it is to start a war with Jamaica: "You just tell them that ''Film/CoolRunnings'' is [[BlatantLies a 100%]] [[VeryLooselyBasedOnATrueStory true story]]!" |
| 330 | ** He later returns with a Rasta hat for the Fangirl as a souvenir, as per her request. |
| 331 | --->'''Fangirl:''' Thank you so much, [[TheWoobie woobie]]! |
| 332 | * Critic comparing the two different Charlies from [[Film/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory Willy]] [[Film/WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory Wonka]]. |
| 333 | -->"One is an emotional yet dreamful kid, and the other is ''JESUS''!" |
| 334 | * Devil Boner and Benny's all-out fight while the review is going on. Particular highlights of it include Boner TakingTheBullet for Fangirl by blocking it [[UseYourHead with his head]] (due to having 20 metal plates, which prevents him from knowing the definition of any word that starts with "S"), Benny pulling a StealthHiBye while Boner is ''[[BeyondTheImpossible looking directly at him]]'', and Boner whipping out his "johnson justice", leaving Benny to exclaim [[OhCrap "Oh My God!"]] when he sees it. |
| 335 | ** Critic complains about [[OffscreenMomentOfAwesome missing out on all the action]] so he and Fangirl can discuss Cinderella instead. |
| 336 | * When discussing the best Cinderella, we have this exchange that doubles as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome: |
| 337 | -->'''HFG:''' ''(referring to the new Cinderella)'' The critics like her, the audience liked her, come on, this is hands down the winner.\ |
| 338 | '''Critic:''' Well, I'd agree with you if it weren't for one solitary fact.\ |
| 339 | '''HFG:''' What's that?\ |
| 340 | '''Critic:''' You're all full of shit. |
| 341 | * As the Critic and Fangirl argue which WickedStepmother is best, Critic intimidates the Fangirl into giving the win to the animated version's stepmother by showing a shot of her signature DeathGlare. |
| 342 | -->'''Critic:''' ''(amused)'' Some people just can't handle a good old-fashioned death glare. |
| 343 | * Fangirl retaliates by intimidating Critic with [[CallBack a shot of]] Creator/DonBluth's death glare. |
| 344 | -->'''Critic:''' You whore! |
| 345 | * Since the old and new Cinderella movies tied, Critic and Hyper Fangirl decide to ask Devil Boner and Benny which movie they think is better. Both [[TakeAThirdOption pick]] ''Film/EverAfter'' instead, and later decide to end their fight due to their mutual appreciation for the movie, even tapping their guns together like a fist bump. |
| 346 | [[/folder]] |
| 347 | |
| 348 | [[folder:Is White Washing Really Still a Thing?]] |
| 349 | * At the very beginning, the Critic announces his intentions to look at the subject of white washing -- which is [[PreemptiveShutUp immediately followed by a comment being typed in the comments section that reads, "YOU'RE WRONG!" over and over again]], before quickly cutting back to the Critic. There is a FreezeFrameBonus in the video's description that [[TakeThatAudience chastises those for pausing the video at that point]]. |
| 350 | -->'''Critic:''' Obviously, this is a subject everybody has a strong opinion on, especially given the news recently. |
| 351 | * The Critic talks about how many movies and movie franchises ''[[StarMakingRole don't]]'' [[StarMakingRole have pre-proven stars in the leading role]], and lists out some examples (i.e., few if anyone heard of Creator/DanielRadcliffe before ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' or Creator/ChristopherReeve before ''[[Film/SupermanTheMovie Superman]]''), before culminating in this: |
| 352 | -->"[[Creator/HarrisonFord Harrison who?]] [[Franchise/StarWars Star what?]] BOMB!"\ |
| 353 | ''("BOMB!", in huge letters, is slapped across a Star Wars poster)'' |
| 354 | * One of the reasons for his making this video in the first place is that the then-upcoming ''Film/DoctorStrange2016'' has a character, who was originally a Tibetan male in the comics, but a Celtic female in the film (played by Creator/TildaSwinton), and the reaction was decidedly hostile. The reason for such white-washing, he says, is because some of Creator/{{Marvel|Comics}}'s movie revenue stems from China, which is not on good terms with Tibet, so they changed the character in question so much that hopefully no one would notice. It leads to this reaction: |
| 355 | -->'''Critic:''' ''(laughing)'' You have totally underestimated your geeky fanbase! We get upset when [[Creator/BenAffleck a good-looking]] [[Creator/MichaelKeaton white man]] plays [[ComicBook/{{Batman}} a good-looking]] [[Film/Batman1989 white]] [[Film/BatmanVSupermanDawnOfJustice man]]! |
| 356 | * At the very end, the Critic remarks about how exhausting and painful the editorial was and then randomly blurts out, "Booger!" Cue a shot of a laughing audience. |
| 357 | -->'''Critic:''' ''(pleased with himself)'' {{Still got it}}. |
| 358 | [[/folder]] |
| 359 | |
| 360 | [[folder:Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over]] |
| 361 | * [[ThirdIs3D Distracting's 3D is featured in "Threequels"]], like ''Film/Jaws3D'', ''Film/FridayThe13thPartIII'', and today's movie. The Critic freaks out, not wanting to do ''[[BaitAndSwitch Friday the 13th Part 3]]''. |
| 362 | -->'''Distracting:''' You're doing ''Spy Kids 3D''!\ |
| 363 | '''Critic:''' ''(crying out)'' [[LargeHam EVEN WORSE!!!]] |
| 364 | * Repeated use of the "Camel Poop" line from ''Spy Kids 2'' as a RunningGag. |
| 365 | * When one of the characters calls himself Rez, and Juni says [[{{Pun}} "Hi Rez"]], Critic makes the movie come up to the front of the room so he can be sure he heard it correctly. He sees the joke and banishes the movie to the Corner for [[AddedAlliterativeAppeal Painfully Pushed Puns]] where he sits with Doesn't Count. |
| 366 | * The repeated use of [[Film/StarTrekIITheWrathOfKhan Khan]] jokes because [[ActorAllusion Ricardo Montalban is in the movie]]. |
| 367 | ** One of which gets him banished to aforementioned corner of shame. |
| 368 | ** The image of Creator/RicardoMontalban being passionately angry at a butterfly makes Critic wonder if the entire film was a dare by Creator/QuentinTarantino to see if Creator/RobertRodriguez could make a movie out of that visual. |
| 369 | -->'''Critic:''' I bet Tarantino just photoshopped this image and was like, "''I dare you to make a story behind this!''" |
| 370 | *** This becomes more amusing if you know about Rodriguez's infamous "Mariachi style" of scriptwriting, which is the process of writing a screenplay based entirely around what you already have access to. |
| 371 | * "With my strength..." "My brains..." "My cool..." [[Film/TheLordOfTheRingsTheFellowshipOfTheRing "And my]] [[MemeticMutation axe!"]] |
| 372 | * "So they swim into the lava and make their way into Mount Doom. There they run into [[Film/TheLordOfTheRings Frodo Baggins]], [[TemptingFate who will vanquish the evil]]--" ''[cut to Creator/ElijahWood as The Guy]'' "--''Hoooly shit'', I was just kidding!!" |
| 373 | * Critic theorizes that Robert Rodriguez managed to get the more well-known cast members by having them Skype their performances over: |
| 374 | -->'''Critic (as Rodriguez):''' Clooney! Can you webcam yourself against a green screen?\ |
| 375 | '''Creator/GeorgeClooney:''' Yeah, sure.\ |
| 376 | '''Critic (as Rodriguez):''' Stallone, can you Facetime yourself wearing half the costumes from ''Film/StayingAlive''?\ |
| 377 | '''Creator/SylvesterStallone:''' You got it, pal.\ |
| 378 | '''Critic (as Rodriguez):''' Banderas, can you put on your Halloween costume from last year and just wave your arms in front of a wall, it doesn't really matter?\ |
| 379 | '''Creator/AntonioBanderas:''' ''Si, senor''.\ |
| 380 | '''Critic (as Rodriguez):''' Creator/BillPaxton, can you--\ |
| 381 | '''Creator/BillPaxton:''' [[LargeHam Somebody ring the Dinkster?!]]\ |
| 382 | '''Critic (as Rodriguez):''' Uh... Creator/SteveBuscemi, can you just run out in the middle of the street so I can put you on a giant flying pig?\ |
| 383 | '''Creator/SteveBuscemi:''' Strangely enough, that's not the weirdest thing I've been asked to do.\ |
| 384 | '''Critic''': I can see why this was called a "digital file!" Because all the footage was ''emailed'' to him in that format! |
| 385 | * When the robot with The Toymaker and Valentin break apart, and somehow, they get out without a scratch, the Critic decides to put logic into that scene. [[NoJustNoReaction "Umm... No. Ju-just no. 101 Dalmatians of no. Yeah, let's see. Ricardo's right here, and Stallone's here- there's no way. Dead instantly. Their bones would be dice in a Yahtzee cup- you wouldn't even recognize their remains."]] |
| 386 | ** Critic then puts on a pair of 3-D glasses to see if they would convince him of what was just presented to him. They don't work. |
| 387 | * He riffs on the fact that The Toy Maker [[HeelFaceTurn though redeemed]] [[EasilyForgiven isn't punished for his crimes]] in this movie. When everyone puts their hands in saying "To family," he does so with handcuffs and says "To jail!" instead. |
| 388 | -->"But it's okay because everyone learned the true meaning of family! And...that excuses 100% of everything!" |
| 389 | * Critic wondering if they just filmed everyone on a yoga mat considering what little acting they do in the CGI scenes. |
| 390 | [[/folder]] |
| 391 | |
| 392 | [[folder:Top 11 Disney Princess Conspiracies]] |
| 393 | * The title card of Critic done up as Olaf from "Frozen". |
| 394 | * Critic flat out admits this is his attempt to cash in on the "Disney Clickbait" videos. |
| 395 | * When discussing the [[WesternAnimation/LiloAndStitch "Lilo's Name"]] theory: |
| 396 | -->'''Critic:''' Okay, I know Lilo isn't ''technically'' a princess but... I think she dressed up as one in the TV show! Does that count? I'm saying it counts... |
| 397 | ** Also shortly after he mentions one of the characters is named [[CodeName "Bubbles"]], you can hear a voice clip of the Critic yelling "[[RunningGag FUCKING BUBBLES!]]". |
| 398 | ** And at the end, he ponders why the Warner Bros. have a sister named Dot - [[FridgeBrilliance only to realize]] it's Warner ''Bros'''''.''' |
| 399 | * One of Critic's theories to why some princesses wear gloves is because they can shoot fire from their nails. |
| 400 | * For a split second, the Critic pronounces [[Creator/IdinaMenzel Idina Menzel]]'s name as [[MemeticMutation Adele Dazeem]]. |
| 401 | [[/folder]] |
| 402 | |
| 403 | [[folder:Jem and the Holograms (2015)]] |
| 404 | * The return of the two Analysts. "Can you phrase your question in the form of a chart?" |
| 405 | ** Chart: Half "Just wanted a real Jem Movie." and half "You're an Idiot"? They couldn't understand him through his accent. |
| 406 | ** What makes this even funnier is that Malcolm was holding this chart up to... ''Analyst'' Malcolm! |
| 407 | ** In response, the Analysts are so perplexed that they decide to take a break and leave. |
| 408 | --->'''Analyst Rob:''' I'll calculate the probability of me relaxing. ''(types on a phone)'' Ha! Zero! |
| 409 | ** As Critic's group leaves, this happens... |
| 410 | --->'''Critic:''' The chart says-- ''[[DopeSlap (Malcolm slaps the Critic on the back)]]'' Thank you. |
| 411 | ** At the end of the review, the Analysts decide to replace the Critic. When Tamara complains about the Jem wig making her hair itch, they ultimately settle on Malcolm. Back in the review room, the Critic asks: |
| 412 | --->'''Critic:''' Did we [[AnAesop learn anything today]]?\ |
| 413 | '''Tamara:''' God, I hope not. |
| 414 | * Critic tells us about the movie's rather infamous history in the cinemas. |
| 415 | -->'''Critic:''' This film is so bad that they pulled it from the theatres in ''two weeks''. ''TWO WEEKS!'' That's shorter than when it took us to find out if UsefulNotes/SaddamHussein is a bad guy! |
| 416 | * The visual representation of a ''WesternAnimation/{{Jem}}'' fan's anger at the film's betrayal of the original source material, a cartoon female fan with a large hairdo that slowly goes from blue to red over the course of the review, until the final insult to the fanbase, which leads to the diagram screaming and exploding. |
| 417 | * The first two jokes[[note]]The production company (in this case, Creator/BlumhouseProductions) generally specializing in horror movies, and Jem complaining about how her sister documents every bit of her life when the FramingDevice is her recording a 2-hour monologue to a camera[[/note]] are so easy that he lets the movie take the first hit at him instead. |
| 418 | * When Jerrica films herself singing as Jem for the first time, Critic wonders if a monster is going to pop out and eat her. He isn't fazed when an actual monster pops out, but he jumps when Jem is attacked by a ''WesternAnimation/NormOfTheNorth'' poster. |
| 419 | * [[MajorInjuryUnderreaction Malcolm's calm reaction to Tamara stabbing him in the eye.]] |
| 420 | ** [[DrinkingTheKoolAid "We're having Kool-Aid tonight."]] |
| 421 | * When Synergy activates its hologram for the first time. |
| 422 | --> '''Nostalgia Critic''': [[Film/TheForceAwakens It's a map to Luke Skywalker]], this sucker has everything. |
| 423 | * [[ItMakesSenseInContext "Hey Frank! I just invented the smartphone! I'm gonna use it to cut vegetables!"]] |
| 424 | * When Jerrica inserts the second clue into Synergy: |
| 425 | -->'''Critic (as Jerrica's Dad):''' Jerrica, it's your father. If you're hearing this, I've been murdered. Don't trust your Aunt! |
| 426 | * When one of the [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment unnecessary-to-the-plot]] [=YouTube=] videos is shown while the girls and Rio sneak into the record company, Critic notices that the performer is none other than Website/ChannelAwesome contributor Rob Scallon. He calls Scallon to ask him why he's in the movie, which leads to him explaining that he [[OldShame did some movies in the past that he wasn't proud of]]. Critic, assuming that Scallon had meant porn (a CallBack to the ''Haunted Mansion'' video, where Critic and Zod had a similar conversation), asks him if he used protection, to which Rob says he did use a lawyer. This leads to a conversation where Rob asks that [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Critic doesn't see him for what he did, but who he is]]. He does, but soon realizes that Scallon is playing sad music in the background. When he calls him out on it, Scallon, who also has an article on manipulation by speech on his computer, abruptly ends the call. |
| 427 | * Critic pointing out how Erica Raymond somehow mixed up the poo emoji with "driver will pick everyone up in the AM". |
| 428 | * The scene where the girls distract the Starlight security guard with a jetskiing squirrel video is so stupid that the Critic believes it could only have been written by Dug from ''WesternAnimation/{{Up}}''. |
| 429 | -->'''Critic (as Dug):''' And then they had to figure out how to get inside, so they used a...[[AttentionDeficitOohShiny SQUIRREL!]] |
| 430 | [[/folder]] |
| 431 | |
| 432 | [[folder:Was That Real? The Grinch vs. The Cat in the Hat]] |
| 433 | * The Critic notes that in addition to ''The Grinch vs. The Cat in the Hat'', the film has also gone by at least two other names over the years: ''The Grinch Grinches the Cat in the Hat'' and ''The Cat in the Hat Gets Grinched'', both of which the Critic thinks sound like children's introduction to sexual harassment. |
| 434 | * The Critic does not peg Dr. Seuss as the kind to do crossover battles, which is the plot of this film, and thinks that is more Creator/{{Marvel|Comics}} [[Creator/DepatieFrelengEnterprises Productions]]' thing. He then reveals that this film ''was'' done by Marvel Productions, prompting this remark: |
| 435 | -->"Yes! Soon, Literature/TheLorax and [[Literature/GreenEggsAndHam Sam-I-Am]] are gonna fight over the warring nations of the Sneetches and [[Literature/HowTheGrinchStoleChristmas the Whos]]! [[Film/CaptainAmericaCivilWar With a cameo by]] ''ComicBook/SpiderMan'' we've all been waiting for." |
| 436 | * The Critic compares the concept of this film, pitting two characters from the same universe against each other, to Batman being pitted against Superman. Cue the poster for ''Film/BatmanVSupermanDawnOfJustice'', followed by the Critic deadpanning, [[TakeThat "Yeah,]] [[CallBack you're]] [[SarcasmMode funny."]] This is immediately followed by [[Recap/SupermanTheAnimatedSeriesS2E16To18WorldsFinest a cartoon adaptation of the two superheroes]], which the Critic shows more approval: "''There'' ya go!" |
| 437 | * The Critic goes into detail about how the Grinch spends most of the film just tormenting the Cat with his reality-altering device, remarking about what a [[VillainDecay downgrade]] it is from his previous adventures: first [[WesternAnimation/HowTheGrinchStoleChristmas he wants to rob people of the joys of giving]], then [[WesternAnimation/HalloweenIsGrinchNight he wants to terrify the world with fear from hellish monsters]], and now the Grinch is just a {{Troll}}. The Critic concludes that the Grinch could be seen as the world's first Internet troll. He ties it all together by showing the Grinch wearing a UsefulNotes/GuyFawkes mask. |
| 438 | -->"Think about it: he uses his computer to hack your everyday life to mildly annoy you. And he's the only one who finds it funny at all! Guess he's sort of a pioneer of obnoxiousness." |
| 439 | * The Critic expresses amusement when, in this film, the Cat in the Hat not only gets [[OutOfCharacterMoment uncharacteristically angry]] at the Grinch's shenanigans, but also calls him a psychopath. |
| 440 | -->'''Cat:''' That Grinch! That psychopathic Grinch!\ |
| 441 | '''Critic:''' How funny is that! There's a Dr. Seuss story where somebody uses the word "psychopath"! That's insane! Or... psychopathic, I guess. |
| 442 | ** Following that up, the Critic thinks that it takes a psychopath to make up rhyming words, as the Grinch does a few times in this film (this is also a CallBack to [[Recap/TheNostalgiaCriticS4E8 his second review of old commercials]]): |
| 443 | --->'''Grinch:''' The sounds that you make are the sounds of my choice. I can make you sound better or make you sound "woise".\ |
| 444 | '''Critic:''' CHEATER!! |
| 445 | ** Also: |
| 446 | --->'''Grinch:''' Are you feeling pretty "goot", Mr. Cat in the "Hoot"?\ |
| 447 | '''Critic:''' ''(confused)'' "Goot" and "hoot"? Why are you changing that? They already rhyme! |
| 448 | ** The Critic makes reference to this [[RuleOfThree one last time]], when he notes that half the special involves characters having inner monologues with themselves: "''Everyone's'' a psychopath!" |
| 449 | * The Critic delivers a TakeThat at both [[Film/HowTheGrinchStoleChristmas film versions]] [[Film/TheCatInTheHat of the two characters' respective stories]] while comparing them with their [[WesternAnimation/HowTheGrinchStoleChristmas respective and more superior]] [[WesternAnimation/TheCatInTheHat animated versions]]. |
| 450 | -->"We all loved [the Cat in the Hat] and [the Grinch] so much that people even watched ''(posters for the two movie versions pop up)'' this bullshit." |
| 451 | [[/folder]] |
| 452 | |
| 453 | [[folder:Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed]] |
| 454 | * Roger asks if the group that will help critic solve the mystery includes [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment hijinks, crazy misadventures and goofy antics.]] [[Series/{{Psych}} It's Gus, Lassie and Jules]]. |
| 455 | -->'''Critic''': I feel these are all variations on the same thing, but yes. |
| 456 | * The ''Series/{{Psych}}'' parody. All of it. |
| 457 | ** Jim does an especially great parody of Lassiter. |
| 458 | -->'''Jim!Lassiter''': Listen here, Spencer. You better get to doing this review, so I can go back to being a stick in the mud to your comedic antics. |
| 459 | ** Tamara!Jules and Critic!Shawn's "Eight year cocktease, on par with the office." |
| 460 | ** When Critic is almost hit by a massive weight, and [[RunningGag changes to the Psyche costume between shots]]: |
| 461 | -->'''Malcolm!Gus''': What happened? |
| 462 | -->'''Critic!Shawn (deadpan)''': A ton... |
| 463 | * When Alicia Silverstone's character is introduced, Critic [[GenreSavvy nonchalantly says that]] [[ItWasHisSled she did it]], [[GenreSavvy and shames the movie for trying to fake the audience out with so many false leads.]] Then at the end... |
| 464 | -->'''Critic:''' So the monsters are all destroyed, and it's finally revealed who the mastermind is... ''(it's Silverstone)'' [[IKnewIt No shit.]] |
| 465 | * Roger's return in this episode, his disguise as a security guard that Critic didn't know worked here, and his desperation to make Critic realize that he is behind Critic being forced to review the movie. As the episode progresses, Roger [[SanitySlippage begins to lose his mind]] as Critic can't seem to figure out that he's behind everything, to the point where he's practically begging to be framed. And [[AssPull somehow]], it turns out that he didn't do it, because "Jules" had done the exact same things that he was planning to do, beating him to it, just for the sake of a more complex mystery. |
| 466 | * Deducing that some of the OOC moments that Peter Boyle, Seth Green, and Matthew Lillard have throughout the movie are actual mental breakdowns they had while working on it. Similarly, the Critic is convinced that the only reason Creator/SethGreen was part of the movie was to get his co-stars on ''WesternAnimation/RobotChicken''. |
| 467 | * "Aaah!! The poster to ''[[Film/TheThing1982 The Thing]]''!" |
| 468 | * '''''"I WANNA GO HOME!!"''''' [[note]]This is the Critic's reaction to Shaggy taking chemicals that cause him to look like a woman.[[/note]] |
| 469 | -->'''Critic:''' Congratulations, movie! You gave Shaggy boobs. Was this your goal? To give Shaggy boobs? Was that the whole reason for this film existing? The only time the words "Shaggy" and "Boobs" should go together is in a British porno. And even then, with a restraining order against Raja Gosnell! |
| 470 | * He complains about the SpecialEffectsFailure regarding Scooby's CGI, [[TemptingFate begging for a return to practical effects instead]]... only for [[DescriptionCut the very next scene]] with the pterodactyl suit. |
| 471 | -->'''Critic''': ''Special Effects are dead''. |
| 472 | * The Critic [[RunningGag continuously bashes]] Raja Gosnell for directing this movie. |
| 473 | -->"As we all know, [Gosnell] is the human incarnation of the phrase 'no refunds'." |
| 474 | * The Future Idiot Measuring Scale, used to show how the movies dumbed down the educational elements of the show: |
| 475 | -->"So we see your kid ''was'' going to be a successful district attorney, but after that joke-Oh! [[AmbulanceChaser He's an injury lawyer for Chippendale pole dancers!]] But at least, this movie shut him up for an hour and a half!"\ |
| 476 | "Look at that! He was about to get into [[IvyLeagueForEveryone Harvard University]]; now he's working at a UsefulNotes/{{Walmart}} Subway, serving cow snot as meat! Just be happy you didn't show him a movie with subtitles!"\ |
| 477 | "I hope you didn't you want him to pass high school, because now he's drinking paint behind a Sherwin-Williams! Climb the ladder!"\ |
| 478 | "Congratulations! Your kid forgot what the number 2 means!"\ |
| 479 | "''And'' your kid has eaten his own brain! Congratulations! Your Redbox rental has taken a life! You coulda been watching ''[[WesternAnimation/DoraTheExplorer Dora's Enchanted Forest Adventures]]''! [[LargeHam YOU COULDA BEEN WATCHING]] ''[[LargeHam DORA'S ENCHANTED FOREST ADVENTURES]]'' [[LargeHam !!!]]" |
| 480 | * The Critic rags on Scooby-Doo's BadassBoast: |
| 481 | -->'''Evil masked figure:''' Who do you think you are?!\ |
| 482 | '''Scooby:''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Scooby... Dooby... DOO!]]\ |
| 483 | '''Critic:''' ''(imitating Scooby)'' Mother-rucker! |
| 484 | * When Roger tries to explain his motives, everyone tells him that motives are never important and he argues that they can be complex and interesting, only for the Critic to tell him that short and shallow is all there is to a motive. |
| 485 | [[/folder]] |
| 486 | |
| 487 | [[folder:How True is Amadeus?]] |
| 488 | * When Uncle Lies is being patronizing about iPhones and "swiping left" (rejecting someone on Tinder), Critic looks annoyed at being called stupid, but never actually denies he does that, giving the hilarious idea of Critic actually being on one of those dating apps. |
| 489 | [[/folder]] |
| 490 | |
| 491 | [[folder:Alvin and the Chipmunks]] |
| 492 | * Critic is justifiably unsettled by Alvin's quickly thought out plan for Dave when he's knocked out. |
| 493 | -->'''Critic (as Alvin):''' Theodore, I can't go back to prison!\ |
| 494 | '''Critic (as Theodore):''' Why did you have to kill that prostitute, Alvin?\ |
| 495 | ''''Critic (as Alvin):''' [[Series/{{Firefly}} She wasn't a prostitute, she was an escort!]] Big difference! |
| 496 | * Simon's FantasticRacism moment where he distances the Chipmunks from other rodents. This leads to Critic mocking Donald Trump in a Chipmunk voice: |
| 497 | -->'''Critic (as Simon):''' We need to build a wall, Dave! |
| 498 | * Critic questioning Dave's strange source of musical inspiration. |
| 499 | -->'''Critic (as Dave):''' I think my dog just vomited. ''(Sound of vomiting offscreen)'' ''Operaaaa!'' |
| 500 | * The Chart Guys briefly commenting on finding the charts that the Chipmunks scribbled on with doodles of Theodore's butt "kind of sexy". |
| 501 | * [[SarcasmMode "Chipmunks eating shit! That's what I wanted to see! Isn't that what]] ''[[SarcasmMode you]]'' [[SarcasmMode wanted to see? I paid good money to see Alvin and the Chipmunks eating shit!"]] |
| 502 | ** On top of his criticism of the above mentioned scene, he wonders why it was changed from the version in the trailer where it's Alvin that eats it. He then proceeds to play audio footage of Alvin angrily ranting at the directors for that before storming out, at which point, they force Simon to do it. |
| 503 | --->'''Critic (as Alvin):''' Fuck you, guys! No! Fuck you guys all to hell! You want me, ''the star of the movie'', to eat ''shit'' for you?! What the ''fuck'' is wrong with you??! You can take this [[ShockSite 2 Girls 1 Cup]] bullcrap and shove it up your ass! You hear me?! Up. Your. Ass. Where it belongs, not in my mouth! No! No! You already tricked me into doing it for the trailer, you sick bastards! I thought that really ''was'' a raisin! You ''lied'' to me! You ''LIED'' to me! You can ask my dick if I care, because I don't! Kiss my ass in Hell, you pathetic twat! |
| 504 | --->'''Critic (as Executive):''' Alvin, no, no, Alvin, calm down. Calm down, Alvin! Y-- ''[sighs]'' You don't understand! No, this-- Really, this-- This is gonna be a-- Be really-- It's going to be really funny! No, but this is gonna be phenomenal! You're gonna love--! Please, Alvin! ''[Alvin leaves]'' ''[sighs]'' Okay, Simon, you're up. |
| 505 | --->'''Critic (as Simon):''' I... don't know if I'm comfortable with this-- ''[gets smacked]'' Aaah! |
| 506 | --->'''Critic (as Executive):''' You don't get paid as much as Alvin! You wanna see what I can ''really'' do to ya? |
| 507 | --->'''Critic (as Simon):''' Proud to be eating shit for you, sir. |
| 508 | * Critic commenting on how passive-aggressive David Cross' performance is. |
| 509 | * [[ItMakesSenseInContext "All three of the chipmunks blow up!"]] (GASP!) "Oh dear, I'm not very good at this." |
| 510 | [[/folder]] |
| 511 | |
| 512 | [[folder:Ghostbusters (2016)]] |
| 513 | * When Critic returns from seeing the movie, he's greeted by Malcolm and Tamara holding guns to his face. He calmly asks, "Is it payday already?" |
| 514 | * Malcolm (a male) is on the side of the keyboard SJW's (imagined here as a corporation of people who are easily offended) who accuse anyone that dares criticize the film to be misogynistic pigs, while Tamara (a female) is on the side of the fans of the original films (imagined here as a religious group) who complain that the film is a betrayal to the franchise. |
| 515 | * As in ''Film/MadMaxFuryRoad'', the meninists are TheDreaded. Critic {{facepalm}}s when they arrive, and Walter-priest (on the side of "original is perfect") ashamedly responds "[[UnwantedAssistance they don't speak for us]]", referencing the difference between the actual misogynistic criticism of the film and just not thinking it was a good film. |
| 516 | * The Ghostbusters complaining about the new orange and white stripe. |
| 517 | -->'''Holtzman:''' I feel like a Hot Wheels is gonna race across my chest. |
| 518 | ** Also Patty confused Abby with an orange barrel. |
| 519 | * All the scenes involving "Unfunny Creator/BillMurray" |
| 520 | ** Cut-Scissors mentions that Bill became so depressing to look at when there's the fact that [[OlderThanTheyLook he has the *same age*]] as Creator/SamuelLJackson. |
| 521 | --->'''Cut-Scissors''': Never do drugs, kids! |
| 522 | ** At one point, when Bill Murray goes to see the ghost the team caught, Erin insists on doing it (even when Abby is warning her that it will kill him), but for other reasons. |
| 523 | -->'''Erin''': I'm not doing it to prove something to myself. I'm not doing this to to show off to this guy who hates us for no reason. I'm doing this because this is the first movie since ''Film/{{Garfield}}'' [[TakeThat that Bill Murray REFUSES to be funny in!!]] |
| 524 | ** When the movie killed Bill Murray, both the Priest and the Meninist are about to complain until Critic says: |
| 525 | --->'''Critic:''' Yo, DO you realize your beloved ''Ghostbusters 3'' sequel never happened because of this ''one guy'', right? \ |
| 526 | '''Priest and Meninist:''' Oh, ok. Kill him. |
| 527 | * After the Mayor calls the team and, instead of punishing them for causing Bill Murray's death, he explains that they have to paint them as frauds to avoid mass hysteria, Abby tries to argue. |
| 528 | -->'''Abby:''' Wait. Isn't that like telling cops to stop doing their jobs because people might be intimidated by them? \ |
| 529 | '''[[TokenMinority Patty]]''': What do you mean '''''[[TakeThat might]]'''''? |
| 530 | * Critic keeps arguing with Cut-Scissors because he is cutting away to scenes that need more explanation. |
| 531 | ** Cut-Scissors claims that they are too afraid of the fans and they don't have time to explain Rowan's motivations... [[OffWithHisHead so he cuts his head off]], which is why he becomes a ghost. |
| 532 | ** When Possessed!Kevin takes control of the army and he is about to make them dance, Critic begs Cut-Scissors to deal with it. He does by banishing the musical number to the end credits. |
| 533 | * "They run on Harry Potter logic. Pointing is amazing!" |
| 534 | * Rowan's plans being drawn in cartoony fashion with notes to explain it. Said notes: |
| 535 | -->'''Page 1''' (showing Rowan pointing at himself with an evil smile): I'm the bad guy!\ |
| 536 | '''Page 2''' (showing Ghost Rowan still smiling evilly): Me as an evil ghost!\ |
| 537 | '''Page 3''' (showing giant Rowan laughing maniacally over the wrecked city): My plan makes no sense! And I draw them for some reason! |
| 538 | * Who's behind the vitriol and hatred between the fanbases? None other than Black Willy Wonka, who admits to doing it purely ForTheEvulz after Critic calls him out on the InsaneTrollLogic present in both of the original rationales. |
| 539 | -->"Sometimes, it's fun to be an asshole for no apparent reason." ''(shoots a CGI bird into LudicrousGibs)'' "See?" |
| 540 | [[/folder]] |
| 541 | |
| 542 | [[folder:Was That Real? Teddy Ruxpin]] |
| 543 | * The Critic nervously walks to and from his desk at the beginning and end of the review. It ends with nothing happening and AnAesop to the audience that life is building up fear in your head. |
| 544 | * The Critic's reaction to the purple monster that wants to help Teddy's group rescue the princess: |
| 545 | -->'''Purple monster:''' Why would anybody kidnap a princess? That's baaaad!\ |
| 546 | '''Critic (as Purple monster):''' ''(sounding slightly like [[WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994 Pumbaa]])'' I mean, from a storytelling perspective, it seems so tired and cliched! Hey, Timon! We're on another forced royal plotline again! |
| 547 | * "Did he [Tweeg] just howl like a wolf or did somebody open a box of Cookie Crisp?" |
| 548 | * As the group assembles the crystals, each with a word written on them: |
| 549 | -->"Honesty..." "Bravery..." "Trust..." "Friendship..." [[WesternAnimation/CaptainPlanetAndThePlaneteers "Wind!" "Water!" "Heart!" "Go Planet!"]] |
| 550 | * In the special, Teddy's group is advised to go see a wizard to get information, but it plays suspiciously the same as [[Film/TheWizardOfOz another classic film, in that the wizard is revealed to be a phony, using lights and projecting effects, and they later go to a giant castle, disguised as guards, to rescue a]] DamselInDistress. |
| 551 | -->'''Critic:''' I think we all know who needs to do some proper suing! ''(Cue the poster for [[BaitAndSwitch NOT]] ''[[BaitAndSwitch The Wizard of Oz]]'', [[BaitAndSwitch but rather for]] ''Film/SpiderMan2'')'' ... You gotta get out more. |
| 552 | [[/folder]] |
| 553 | |
| 554 | [[folder:Wild Wild West]] |
| 555 | * The Vessel announcement. With the others, it usually gives a short description of the movie. Here? |
| 556 | -->'''Critic:''' Coming next week, it's Wild Wild West... [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Yee-haw.]] |
| 557 | * The opening sketch where Malcolm and Tamara are in a movie that is actually an original idea. Without source material to rely on, preexisting controversies to fight about, and having to rely on word of mouth, the two panic... only for it to be revealed that it was AllJustADream by Critic, who sighs in relief upon seeing the ''Wild Wild West'' DVD. |
| 558 | * Surprisingly, this movie only leads to two references to ''Film/BlazingSaddles'', and the episode is very aware of that. |
| 559 | * Will Smith's remark while he's having sex with a woman in the water silo leads to the return of the "A FAMILY Picture" joke from the ''Film/SonOfTheMask'' review, but Critic realizes that the movie was PG-13, during the time when that rating actually meant something. He changes it to "A STUPID line". |
| 560 | ** Speaking of stupid lines... |
| 561 | --->'''Jim West:''' ... There's a gigantic spider stomping toward our president.\ |
| 562 | ''[dramatic zoom in on West's face as dramatic music plays in the background]''\ |
| 563 | '''Critic (Voice Over):''' And in that very moment, right after saying that line, Creator/WillSmith realizes... "I said "yes" to the script. |
| 564 | * The 4 stages of numbness when watching the painfully obvious out-of-context breast joke. |
| 565 | * Critic wonders if anyone watching the film when it was in theaters stayed past the middle of the movie, and brings up a point about the bugs that go after discarded popcorn probably noticing something. This leads to a sketch about said situation, where the bugs also find the projectionist [[SuicideAsComedy hanged himself with the movie reel]]. After watching some of the movie, two of the bugs decide to spray themselves with RAID, leaving the third to ask Critic to spray him near the end of the review. |
| 566 | * Critic's "YourMom" jokes he dubs over a pitiably lame SnarkToSnarkCombat scene are SoUnfunnyItsFunny incarnate. |
| 567 | -->"Your mamma's so fat she ate the black right offa ya!" |
| 568 | -->"Yo mamma's so fat, you in a wheelchair!" |
| 569 | [[/folder]] |
| 570 | |
| 571 | [[folder:All the Looney Tunes Films]] |
| 572 | * At the beginning, the Critic tries to compare Looney Tunes to Greek mythology... |
| 573 | -->'''Critic:''' Like, the stories of WesternAnimation/BugsBunny could be told ''(shows an image of a sculpture of Hercules)'' as many times as Hercules. Or the stories of WesternAnimation/DaffyDuck could be told ''(shows an image of a bust of Zeus)'' as many times as... this guy... |
| 574 | ** He realizes that he was unsuccessful in his comparison: |
| 575 | --->'''Critic:''' You see?! Even Greek mythology has nothing on these guys! [[WesternAnimation/{{Hercules}} Or maybe I just need to brush up on better sources.]] |
| 576 | * While talking about ''Bugs Bunny's 1001 Rabbit Tales'', the Critic admits that the scenes with [[TheScrappy the bratty, bespectacled prince]] ran a little too long for him, partly because [[SelfDeprecation the prince looks rather like how the Critic looked in his youth]]. |
| 577 | -->'''Critic:''' That haircut was very in! |
| 578 | * When going over ''Daffy Duck's Quackbusters'', Critic points out how obvious it was when it cut from new animation to classic footage, especially regarding how different Creator/MelBlanc sounded between eras. |
| 579 | -->'''Daffy:''' Oh, and, uh, one more thing. Anyone who works with me should never get me riled.\ |
| 580 | '''Porky:''' Why not?\ |
| 581 | ''[cut to footage from "The Prize Pest"]''\ |
| 582 | '''Daffy:''' 'Cause I'm a split personality...\ |
| 583 | '''Critic:''' ''D'aah! Who took Daffy away?!'' |
| 584 | [[/folder]] |
| 585 | |
| 586 | [[folder:Is Weird the New Brilliant?]] |
| 587 | * The title card shows the Critic drawn like Todd standing next to WesternAnimation/BojackHorseman. |
| 588 | [[/folder]] |
| 589 | |
| 590 | [[folder:The Third Animated Titanic Movie]] |
| 591 | * The review opens with Critic at Niagara Falls and at a con over there, who all want him to do the Titanic Movie instead of ''Niagara'', the Creator/MarilynMonroe movie. Disappointed, he has to cancel all his guest stars, which include Creator/JamesRolfe, Cricket Leigh (Mai in ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender''), Creator/DanteBasco and Creator/BradJones. He locks them in their own hotel room from the outside, having already confiscated (and deep-fried) their cell phones, cut the landlines, and otherwise denied them any recourse for leaving. |
| 592 | -->'''James Rolfe:''' [[TheFriendNobodyLikes Why do we do things with him]]?! |
| 593 | ** After Critic shuts the door for the first time, Brad Jones reacts in the only way he can: |
| 594 | --->'''Brad Jones:''' Well, I know a gaggle of hookers soon to have my name on them. |
| 595 | ** After Critic recovers from his HeroicBSOD after the review, he remembers about leaving them locked in, he comes back to let them out while cheerily telling them to get out and enjoy Niagara Falls (after signing waivers for any felonies he may or may not have committed) and departs. Of course, he also shut the door behind him, meaning they're ''still'' locked in. |
| 596 | ** Before that, Tamara complains on how she wanted to play Creator/MarilynMonroe in the sketches, only for Critic to remind her that Malcolm would get the part because it's a Nostalgia Critic review. |
| 597 | * When pointing out that the sequel included Atlantis, he noted that the entire franchise goes in descending order. ''Titanic In [[WesternAnimation/AtlantisTheLostEmpire Atlantis]]'', ''[[RecycledInSpace Titanic In Space]]''[[note]][[Franchise/StarWars The Saga Continues...]][[/note]] ''[[Film/PoliceAcademy Titanic: Assignment Miami Beach]]''[[note]]Hold everything! The Titanic is dropping in on Miami Beach for a brand new adventure![[/note]], and of course, ''[[Music/{{NWA}} Titanic In The Hood]]''[[note]]''[[Film/StraightOuttaCompton Straight Outta Southhampton]]''[[/note]][[note]] [[Film/{{Kazaam}} "Let's green egg and ham it!"]][[/note]]. |
| 598 | * "I guarantee you, they're gonna see weirder things in this WesternAnimation/YellowSubmarine than Music/TheBeatles ever did!" |
| 599 | * Critic is surprised that two of the passengers from the original voyage, and their dog, are leading the expedition to find the Titanic. He assumes that they don't have the scientific background to do this, and compares it to him knowing where Amelia Earhart is because he watched an episode of ''Series/StarTrekVoyager''. |
| 600 | -->'''Critic:''' ''(gesturing)'' Millions in research funds, please! |
| 601 | * As is the tradition when Critic reviews the animated ''Titanic'' movies, [[INeedAFreakingDrink he has to drink a]] ''[[INeedAFreakingDrink lot]]'' [[INeedAFreakingDrink of Jaegermeister]]. While the first movie called for a comically oversized bottle, and the second called for one the size of a skyscraper, the third one has to be the size of a small ''planet'' and summoned by remote control. Malcolm and Tamara happen to see the giant bottle as they are outside, leading to: |
| 602 | --> '''Tamara''': I know where I'm vacationing this week! |
| 603 | * After one particularly stupid scene, the Critic turns to the bottle... only to find it empty. Cut to a completely smashed Tamara and Malcolm on a shuttle singing "We Are Young", ''having drunk the entire bottle''. Their shuttle explodes when they steer it into the sun. |
| 604 | * So what do we have in place of the rapping dog for this movie? A rapping shark. |
| 605 | -->'''Critic:''' WHY DO THESE MOVIES NEED RAP SONGS!? |
| 606 | * The lyrics to the rapping shark and singing oyster song are so nonsensical and unintelligible, Critic makes up his own: |
| 607 | -->Oh, {{Creator/Hugh|Grant}}, {{Creator/Hugh|Jackman}} / There's no wacking out of you\ |
| 608 | Oh, [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Mew, Mew]] / There's [[MoonLandingHoax no walking on the moon]]! |
| 609 | * Why did the shark attack the underwater sub? [[FelonyMisdemeanor He hates yellow things.]] |
| 610 | --> '''Critic''': Theatre/{{Macbeth}} had the inner duality of acquiring power while holding onto his humanity... [[Literature/MobyDick Ahab]] demonstrated how revenge can destroy others as well as yourself... This character hates yellow. If that brilliantly established motivation doesn't give you goosebumps, I weep for you! |
| 611 | * When the Atlanteans show up, we cut to Critic with his face in his hands. |
| 612 | -->[[ThisIsGonnaSuck "IT BEGINS!"]] |
| 613 | * At one point, Critic dubs over [[DullSurprise Don Juan]]. |
| 614 | -->''[[Film/PulpFiction Talk out of line again and I will smite down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger. You will know my name is The Lord.]]'' |
| 615 | * When Top Connors exclaims, "It's like a dream!" |
| 616 | --> '''Critic:''' No, dreams make ''sense'' [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext compared to this]]. |
| 617 | * "This ''is'' the last thing we'll see before we die!" |
| 618 | * "You know what this song needs? Rave music." Complete with the caption '[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING]]!' Critic's expression says it all. |
| 619 | ** The insanity gets so much that, at one point, the review literally starts to write itself. |
| 620 | * "I'm sending you all to Doggy Hell! You hear me?! '''''DOGGY HEEEELLL!!!''''' Which we just clarified exists! |
| 621 | * Critic's reaction to the Scottish toy who looks like a little girl. |
| 622 | -->'''Critic:''' ''(slowly leaning back, and sounding a bit like Owen Wilson)'' Whaaaaat? |
| 623 | ** His jaw remains hanging open until the character steps forwards, at which point he jumps back and exclaims in terror, "Don't come near me!" |
| 624 | * '''''[[SubliminalSeduction "JESUS DIED]] [[VoiceOfTheLegion IN VAIN."]]''''' |
| 625 | * In Atlantis, all screwdrivers are banned and Critic wonders how they could build anything without it, followed by a picture of a drug dealer giving a guy a screwdriver. |
| 626 | -->'''Critic:''' A little spit and mud goes a long way. |
| 627 | ** It gets even worse when it turns out screwdrivers are apparently sentient and that Atlantis basically exiled a group of people and saying how that's America's job. |
| 628 | [[/folder]] |
| 629 | |
| 630 | [[folder:Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle]] |
| 631 | * When Malcolm and Tamara find Critic in the closet with a gun to his head bemoaning the fact that he "killed" the movie, the first thing that Malcolm does [[DoWrongRight is give Critic a 9 MM pistol instead, for less kickback]]. Tamara scolds him, and he responds by knocking Critic out instead. |
| 632 | ** When Tamara returns with the Ghostbusters Priest, she finds Malcolm [[SuicideAsComedy trying to assist the Critic again]] and tells him to get out. |
| 633 | ** Tamara first tries to get Critic to leave the closet by saying that they'll drink all the Ecto Cooler if he doesn't. Malcolm reveals that they'd already done that. |
| 634 | * The entire narrative of this episode is a parody of ''Theatre/{{Amadeus}}''. |
| 635 | ** To summarize: As mentioned above, Malcolm and Tamara finds the critic in the closet attempting to commit suicide, yelling about how he killed the movie. After Malcolm knocks him out, they summon a priest to exorcise the foul demon that must have taken ahold of the Critic. |
| 636 | ** The Critic asks the priest if he's well versed in bad movie adaptations, and proceeds to list a few he has reviewed. The priest is unfamiliar with all of them (or rather he's familiar, but doesn't consider them bad). Eventually, the Critic asks about Rocky and Bullwinkle, which the priest does consider bad... But the Critic doesn't. |
| 637 | * When Randy Quaid appears in the film: |
| 638 | -->'''Critic:''' [[Film/IndependenceDay I'm baaaaaaack!]]... [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Randy_Quaid#.22Star_Whackers.22_and_Canadian_exile from Canada.]] |
| 639 | * Critic comments on the setup for the movie being so meta that even Franchise/TheMuppets would take issue with it. |
| 640 | -->'''Kermit:''' You know I'm just a bunch of foam with a puppeteer attached to me, right? ''[zoom out to reveal Doug dressed as Creator/JimHenson]'' I don't even know how many more fourth walls we can break! |
| 641 | * During the scene where Bullwinkle's antlers are shown to be able to intercept radio frequencies. |
| 642 | -->'''Rocky:''' Bullwinkle! Cover up your nose.\ |
| 643 | '''Bullwinkle:''' Okay. ''[He does so]'' I was just gettin' jiggy with it!\ |
| 644 | '''Critic:''' ''[sighs]'' Don't they know every time a movie makes that reference, God's finger gets a little closer to smoting us?\ |
| 645 | '''Bullwinkle:''' I was just gettin' jiggy with it!\ |
| 646 | ''[The Earth is shown from space. Suddenly, a big, trembling hand with an index finger closing to the planet appears to a dramatic sting.]'' |
| 647 | * After the Critic states that, just like show, the movie has both funny and awful jokes, the priest says that the only jokes left to talk about are the confusing jokes, which do not make sense as a kid or an adult. |
| 648 | -->'''Critic:''' Oh, like... I don't know. Having an unexplained kid as an evil scientist?\ |
| 649 | '''Priest:''' Yes, that would be rather confus--\ |
| 650 | ''[Cut to Lily Nicksay as Sydney, the kid scientist.]''\ |
| 651 | '''Priest:''' ...Why, that's as odd as...\ |
| 652 | '''Critic:''' A random animated weasel they just found?\ |
| 653 | ''[A traditionally animated weasel is brought to the target.]''\ |
| 654 | '''Priest:''' ''[confused]'' How?...\ |
| 655 | '''Critic:''' Oh, it's okay. Before you even get a chance to question it, they throw in a funny line, so you completely forgot what you were confused about!\ |
| 656 | '''Sydney:''' ...And send him where all worthless cyberjunk ends up...the Internet!\ |
| 657 | ''[The ray hits the weasel, and he vanishes in a puff of smoke.]''\ |
| 658 | '''Priest:''' I feel...delighted, annoyed, and puzzled all at the same time! |
| 659 | * During the scene with the cameo of Creator/JohnGoodman as an Oklahoma State Trooper. |
| 660 | -->'''Rocky:''' But she really is with the FBI!\ |
| 661 | '''Oklahoma State Trooper:''' Yeah, and I'm really John Goodman. Let's get in the car.\ |
| 662 | '''Critic:''' You know, after ''Blues Brothers 2000'', I wouldn't admit I was John Goodman either. |
| 663 | * Critic proposes that there be a scale of good vs. bad jokes the film makes. After one particularly painful pun, the scale is tipped so far to the bad side that it drops all the way down to Hell just as the Devil is walking by. |
| 664 | -->'''The Devil:''' Someone's watching ''Rocky and Bullwinkle'' again. |
| 665 | * Critic having Bullwinkle make a [[HurricaneOfPuns Hurricane of Innuendos]]. |
| 666 | -->'''Bullwinkle:''' Boy, she really knows how to squeeze my hose!\ |
| 667 | '''Rocky:''' Bullwinkle...\ |
| 668 | '''Bullwinkle:''' I'm just saying, she really knows how to make the wet stuff come out!\ |
| 669 | '''Rocky:''' ''Bullwinkle!''\ |
| 670 | '''Bullwinkle:''' [[RuleOfThree Oh]], and when I say "come out"...\ |
| 671 | '''Rocky:''' Okay, don't come crying to me if the FCC [[Film/TheGodfather leaves a horse head on your mattress]].\ |
| 672 | '''Bullwinkle:''' [[ThreatBackfire At least I wouldn't be the only one getting head!]]\ |
| 673 | '''Rocky:''' Oh, Christ... |
| 674 | * The scene where Rocky tries to fly in order to save Bullwinkle while he addresses the Wossamatta U students, with Critic intercutting a Taco Bell commercial with the two characters, followed by dubbing a fart sound effect over the previous scene. |
| 675 | * Rocky is so pessimistic throughout the movie that Critic suggests he try "that creepy shit from VideoGame/WeHappyFew." |
| 676 | * Rocky and Bullwinkle's car goes off two fruit carts and jump the Chicago River. As the car is flying, it's noticeably silent, as if (in Critic's words) they're having out-of-body experiences and we're supposed to hear their thoughts: |
| 677 | -->'''Critic (as Rocky):''' I never did tell her [Sandy from ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants''] how I really feel.\ |
| 678 | '''Critic (as Bullwinkle):''' You know what'd be pointless right now? A Creator/BillyCrystal cameo.\ |
| 679 | ''[cuts to Billy Crystal's cameo as a mattress salesman]'' |
| 680 | ** That exchange leads into a discussion about the multiple cameos, only to be interrupted by the sight of a ''second'' cameo by Jonathan Winters, in a completely different role than his last appearance. The Critic then sarcastically suggests he just appear as a third different [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor character]]: |
| 681 | --->'''Critic:''' ''[wide eyed and utterly calm]'' I'm high. I'm completely high. |
| 682 | * The subplot about the trees around Rocky and Bullwinkle's home feels so last minute that the Critic compares it to [[Film/GoneWithTheWind this]]: |
| 683 | -->'''Scarlett:''' What shall I do?!\ |
| 684 | '''Rhett:''' Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.\ |
| 685 | '''Critic:''' ''[as Rhett]'' And by the way, don't smoke.\ |
| 686 | ''[Rhett walks off]'' |
| 687 | * "Go home, movie. You're drunk." |
| 688 | [[/folder]] |
| 689 | |
| 690 | [[folder:Is Nightmare Before Christmas Really That Great?]] |
| 691 | * The new Nostalgiaween opening is a parody of ''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls''. As expected, it contains a backwards whisper. [[https://youtu.be/Vbnhm5B1fHM Playing it backwards reveals it says,]] "[[TakeThatAudience You really played this backwards? What's wrong with you?]]" |
| 692 | [[/folder]] |
| 693 | |
| 694 | [[folder:Dreamcatcher]] |
| 695 | * The premise alone, as pointed out by the Critic: "The Movie Where Aliens Come Out of People's Butts." |
| 696 | * Mr. Grey's first appearance as the possessed Jonesey. More specifically, [[EvilBrit his accent]], which is so hilariously ''Posh'' that the Critic instantly welcomes him to the League of Over-the-Top Stephen King Villains. |
| 697 | ** In the running parody, the possessed Tamara and Malcolm turn a bit more British than usual. As in, they are both replaced by [[WebVideo/BadMovieBeatdown Mathew Buck]] in different wigs. |
| 698 | ** When we have the BattleInTheCenterOfTheMind, reflecting the movie, we find out that Malcolm is genuinely frightened of the EvilBrit - not that ''particular'' one, just the trope in general. Tamara then tricks him with one of the most anticlimactic instances of LookBehindYou ever. |
| 699 | ** The biggest irony is that Creator/DamianLewis who plays Jonesy is actually British. It's the American accent that's fake. |
| 700 | * Before that, the Critic is confused as to why the film is trying to make ToiletHumour scary, to which it cuts to Malcolm and Tamara to reveal that they have wet their pants. Critic [[LampshadeHanging regrets writing them so dumb]]. He then points out the alternative of spewing catchphrases that will never catch on, which leads to a montage of Beaver saying obvious one-liners, before cutting to ''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty''. |
| 701 | -->'''Tamara:''' Huh, that's strange, I don't remember those.\ |
| 702 | '''Critic:''' Well, [[CatchPhrase I remember it so you don't have to]]-- SHIT!\ |
| 703 | '''Malcolm:''' Our work here is done.\ |
| 704 | '''Critic:''' THAT REALLY IS GONNA CATCH ON! |
| 705 | * Critic gets frustrated with the fact that Creator/StephenKing won't deviate from his favorite tropes in any of his films or miniseries. He calls out King on that fact and points out that even ''he'' at least tries to make a difference joke each year about King's over-reliance on those tropes. For this year's example, he plays out a Jeopardy! game where the question to every answer is "What is every single Stephen King movie ever made?" Playing the game are Malcolm, Tamara, and Chester A. Bum, who's only there because they needed a third person, and Critic bribed him with a sandwich. |
| 706 | * The Critic's reaction to Jonesy's "Scooby-Dooby-Doo, we've got some work to do now" line and trying come up with his own catchphrase that stem from '80s and '90s cartoons |
| 707 | -->'''Critic:''' Whoa! Meet George Jetson! Thunder, Thunder, Thundercats! WesternAnimation/{{DuckTales|1987}}, woo-hoo! |
| 708 | ** And when the Crtic sees the dead hunter's fatally prolapsed (but thankfully censored) anal wound. |
| 709 | --->'''Critic:''' Ohh, Tiny Toon Adventures! |
| 710 | * As Beaver, played by Creator/JasonLee, tries to hold down the shitweasel, the Critic unleashes a barrage of Chipmunk puns. |
| 711 | -->'''Critic!Alvin:''' C'mon Dave! Think of all the genres we can do with pun titles! A rap musical called "Chip-Hop"! A religious film called "Holy Chip!" And of course the Halloween Special, "Scared Chipless!" We're coming for you, Dave! The chip must flow, THE CHIP MUST FLOW! |
| 712 | * The constant jokes about Colonel Curtis' BigOlEyebrows. |
| 713 | * After Peter dives [[GroinAttack crotch-first into a campfire]], then gets right back up and grabs a torch. |
| 714 | -->'''Critic:''' Uh, no. No man stands up immediately after that. The correct response is unzip your fly, then crawl around in the snow like a dog who has worms! |
| 715 | * After TheReveal that Dudditz was an alien the entire time, Critic finds himself under attack by the Film Brain versions of Malcolm and Tamara. Chester A. Bum saves him by turning into an alien and destroying them. Critic then assumes that Chester's personality is that way because he's an alien... Only for the ''real'' Chester to show up and berate Critic for assuming that his mental health problems were because he was an alien. He then goes back to yelling for change in the prop/greenscreen room. |
| 716 | [[/folder]] |
| 717 | |
| 718 | [[folder:Freddy vs. Jason]] |
| 719 | * Throughout the review, the Critic tries to find a crossover that will become as iconic as Freddy vs. Jason: |
| 720 | ** [[Film/TheWizardOfOz Dorothy]] vs. [[VideoGame/AmericanMcGeesAlice Alice]]: Alice stabs Dorothy to death. |
| 721 | ** ''Franchise/StarTrek'' vs. ''Franchise/StarWars'': Darth Vader tells Geordi La Forge that [[LukeIAmYourFather he is his father]], and La Forge wonders if that makes Vader a black person, which Vader immediately denies. |
| 722 | ** Ash from ''Franchise/{{Pokemon}}'' vs. Ash from ''Franchise/EvilDead'': Ash Williams ends up murdering Pikachu with his chainsaw. |
| 723 | --->'''Ash Williams:''' VideoGame/PokemonGo [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] [[BondOneLiner yourself]]! |
| 724 | ** Joker from ''Film/TheDarkKnight'' vs. Joker from ''Film/SuicideSquad2016'': ''Suicide Squad'' Joker disappears because he was cut for intensity. |
| 725 | ** Sadako Yamamura from ''Film/TheRing'' vs. Kayako Saeki from ''Film/TheGrudge'': Sadako [[ActorAllusion sends]] [[WesternAnimation/LiloAndStitch Stitch]] [[ActorAllusion to attack Kayako.]] (This one is even funnier when you know that [[Film/SadakoVsKayako one kinda actually exists]].) |
| 726 | ** Devil Boner vs. Santa Christ: Devil Boner simply shoots Santa Christ. |
| 727 | ** Devil Boner vs. Chester A. Bum: Devil Boner also shoots Chester. |
| 728 | ** Devil Boner vs. Devil Food Cake: Devil Boner eats the cake in an [[LargeHam over-the-top fashion]]. |
| 729 | ** Devil Boner vs. Hyper Fan Girl: They're SickeninglySweethearts like before, and they immediately start kissing each other with Devil Boner's gun going off. Their sexing continues over the commercial break. |
| 730 | ** At the end of the video, Critic ends up finding the scariest crossover ever: Creator/ZackSnyder and Creator/MichaelBay! |
| 731 | * Critic is shocked to see that that Mark Davis' deceased brother Bobby is played by Zack Ward, a.k.a Scut Farkas in ''Film/AChristmasStory''. During the scene where Bobby Freddy taunts Mark while he's in the bathroom, Critic overdubs the lines with Skut's crybaby taunt. |
| 732 | * Kelly Rowland's performance as Kia Patterson is so painful because of the [[JiveTurkey dialogue she's given]]. Critic wonders who wrote the movie and after seeing that it's Mark Swift and Damian Shannon, who happen to be two white guys, he pleads for all white people to not "white people" today, complaining that even he needs a break from it sometimes. |
| 733 | * When Will and Mark do research on Freddy Krueger, they find that a lot of the information from the newspaper articles has been redacted. Critic [[SarcasmMode notes that that wouldn't cause suspicion at all]] and cites examples of other infamous events in history being redacted in reference books. |
| 734 | -->'''Critic:''' Uh, excuse me, I noticed everything in this history book about World War II has been blacked out.\ |
| 735 | '''Critic (as Librarian):''' Well, that's because it didn't happen.\ |
| 736 | '''Critic:''' Oh, okay, I totally accept that. Well, what about this part where Osama bin Laden is crossed out in crayon and the World Trade Center is put back where it was?\ |
| 737 | '''Critic (as Librarian):''' Oh, that also didn't happen!\ |
| 738 | '''Critic:''' Got it! Oh, I'm learning a lot today! Oh, uh, what about [[UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump this guy]] and his VP (Mike Pence) claiming he didn't say these famously recorded things? You didn't black that out.\ |
| 739 | '''Critic (as Librarian):''' [[TakeThat Oh, we didn't have to. People just believe that one for some reason.]]\ |
| 740 | '''Critic:''' Oh. [[SarcasmMode He did sacrifice a lot.]]\ |
| 741 | '''Critic (as Librarian):''' He did... He did. |
| 742 | * The banter the Critic comes up with between Freddy and Jason has a lot of gold to it. |
| 743 | -->'''Critic (as Jason):''' W-wait, shouldn't I be on a [[Film/JasonX space station in the future?]] And shouldn't you [[Film/WesCravensNewNightmare be aware that you're a fictional character in a movie]]--?\ |
| 744 | '''Critic (as Freddy):''' Quiet, or I'll tell the guy who did ''Film/TheLastWitchHunter'' to give you another reboot!\ |
| 745 | '''Critic (as Jason):''' They're really doing that...?\ |
| 746 | '''Critic (as Freddy):''' Yeah, sorry, dude. |
| 747 | ** And during their fight in the dream world... |
| 748 | --->'''Critic (as Freddy):''' You know, I'm only doing this to you because [[Franchise/{{Halloween}} Michael Myers]] won't return my calls. |
| 749 | ** One more after Jason stabs Freddy with his own clawed arm before falling into the water: |
| 750 | --->'''Critic (as Jason):''' And I'm out. Next battle will be whose reboot is worse.\ |
| 751 | '''Critic (as Freddy):''' It's [[Film/FridayThe13th2009 yours]]!\ |
| 752 | '''Critic (as Jason):''' It's ''[[Film/ANightmareOnElmStreet2010 yours]]''! |
| 753 | * "Man, this party's awesome! I especially love the [[Film/ChildrenOfTheCorn1984 crucifying kids]] over there--''[{{double take}}]''" |
| 754 | * During the police's investigation of a murder on Elm Street, one of the Officers scolds another for [[SpeakOfTheDevil mentioning Freddy Krueger.]] |
| 755 | -->'''Cop:''' Hey! Don't even say that son of a bitch's name out loud!\ |
| 756 | '''Critic (as Cop):''' We just took care of our Film/{{Beetlejuice}}, [[Literature/HarryPotter Voldemort]], and {{Film/Candyman}} problem! When will people learn names are bad?! |
| 757 | * The reveal that Camp Crystal Lake is apparently right next to Elm Street prompts a CallBack to the Batman vs. Superman review: |
| 758 | -->'''Joe (as Superman):''' It's literally across the street! |
| 759 | * One scene introduces a character played by Jason Ritter, prompting Critic to pull out a notebook of [[WesternAnimation/GravityFalls Dipper]] jokes (said notebook looking like the 3rd Journal.) |
| 760 | * When Freddy tries to kick [[GroinAttack Jason in the balls]], only to realise too late that Jason has BallsOfSteel, we get this gem from Critic: |
| 761 | -->'''Critic (as Freddy):''' Oh, my God! What are those made of? Those Chomp Balls from ''[[VideoGame/SuperMarioBros3 Mario 3]]''?! |
| 762 | [[/folder]] |
| 763 | |
| 764 | [[folder:Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows]] |
| 765 | * The beginning of the review is told in the style of the original Ninja Turtles comic, and we get this hilarious CallBack: |
| 766 | -->'''Critic:''' It should work, it should be amazing, so why is something telling me it's all gonna go wrong.\ |
| 767 | '''Nerd:''' Man, I can't wait to see Krang in this movie, I've been waiting years to see him in--\ |
| 768 | '''Critic:''' Excuse me, do you mind? [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall You're interrupting my word boxes!]]\ |
| 769 | '''Nerd:''' [[BerserkButton Oh, don't you talk about my word boxes! I LIKE WORD BOXES!]] |
| 770 | * Critic, AVGN, and Black Nerd mocking Casey Jones' constant bitching and bickering throughout the film with unintelligible whining of their own. Surprisingly, there was no CallBack to the Batman and Robin review where a similar gag was done. |
| 771 | * The three bantering at the beginning of the review after getting the movie confused with the [[VideoGame/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtlesOutOfTheShadows video game of the same name]]. |
| 772 | * The three making fun of the way the movie has to spell the names of the turtles out, happy that they're nice enough to [[TheIndexTeam list their marketable character stereotype]]. The three then pose, displaying their names along with their personality trait. They're all 'Asshole'. |
| 773 | * Maybelline: For your random, spotlight-appearing, pantyhose-vanishing, kleptomaniac tendencies. That'll be $94.25, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]. |
| 774 | * In order to convey how weird Brad Garrett's performance as Krang is, Critic pulls [[WebVideo/HonestTrailers Jon Bailey]] right out [=ConnectiCon=] in order to get him to do some impressions of Saturday Morning cartoon characters over the voice. Bailey doesn't seem to get the idea, forcing Critic to get out of his chair in the studio and jump cut to Bailey's location to explain exactly what he wants. This happens [[RuleOfThree three times]], and on the last one, Critic tells Bailey that [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall these jump cuts are hard enough to do]]. Black Nerd and AVGN also hold Critic down when he tries to get up a fourth time. |
| 775 | ** The voices Jon dubs for Krang are just hilarious. First, he does a Creator/ChristopherWalken voice: |
| 776 | --->'''Walken Krang:''' Shredder, [[Film/BatmanReturns shame on you]]. I see more than just an expensive bubble. I wanna give you more power, whoop-dee-do. [[Film/TheJungleBook2016 I wanna be like you-hoo-hoo]]. And fuck the cops! Fuck 'em! |
| 777 | ** Next, he does the voice of Creator/SamElliott: |
| 778 | --->'''Elliott Krang:''' I wanna use the Technodrome made by Dodge Ram to steal all the [[Film/TheBigLebowski good sarsaparilla. I'm talking about the Krang here]]. |
| 779 | ** Finally, he does the voice of Creator/MichaelJFox: |
| 780 | --->'''Fox Krang:''' [[Film/BackToTheFuture1 Using the plutonium gotten from the Libyans]], we're gonna make this town disappear faster than the ''Franchise/BackToTheFuture'' [[WesternAnimation/BackToTheFuture animated series]]. |
| 781 | ** After this, the Critic and the Nerds task Bailey into creating a transformation worthy of his vocal talent that embodies the franchises of the 80's and 90's, resulting in Super-[[WesternAnimation/Thundercats1985 Thunder]]-[[Series/MightyMorphinPowerRangers Morphin]]-[[ComicBook/{{Batman}} Bat]]-[[WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1987 Ninja]]-[[WesternAnimation/HeManAndTheMastersOfTheUniverse He]]-[[WesternAnimation/GIJoeARealAmericanHero Joe]]. Bailey requests to be transformed... only for the Critic and Nerds to refuse to do so, in order to mirror how in the movie the turtles decided not to use the mutagen to become humans ([[TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodPlot which was a plot point they were genuinely interested in seeing the movie exploring]]). |
| 782 | * This exchange: |
| 783 | --->''' Nerd:''' After Baxter sets up the portal, big surprise! Shredder betrays him.\ |
| 784 | '''Shredder:''' I'll be a god! You'll just be just what you've always been...\ |
| 785 | ''' Critic:''' A parasite?\ |
| 786 | ''' Black Nerd:''' An insect?\ |
| 787 | ''' Nerd:''' [[SayingTooMuch A half-human, half-bug hybrid?]]\ |
| 788 | '''Shredder:''' A footnote.\ |
| 789 | '''All three:''' BOOOO! |
| 790 | ** Later: |
| 791 | --->''' Critic:''' Well, everyone is betraying everyone, as Shredder, dressed like a ninja Eiffel Tower, is frozen like a bitch and stored with the other Smash Bros. trophies. |
| 792 | * The [[CallBack Plaidipus Bunny]] returns, [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext courtesy of Malcolm's genes.]] |
| 793 | ** The reason ''why'' this happens: apparently, Michael Bay and Zack Snyder [[FusionDance merged into one]] and turned into a giant. |
| 794 | --->'''Zack Snyder:''' Bay and I have fused into one! Our love of destroying things has finally resulted in the destruction of our species! |
| 795 | ** What makes it hilarious is that like how Krang is in a robot's chest, Zack appears to be in Michael Bay's ass. |
| 796 | ** After Bay and Snyder are defeated, the Critic and the Nerds decide to play some Ninja Turtles games, while in the background... |
| 797 | --->"[[BrickJoke Don't forget Super-Thunder-Morphin-Bat]]--" ''(credits start)'' "Dang it!" |
| 798 | [[/folder]] |
| 799 | |
| 800 | [[folder:Battle of the Commercials]] |
| 801 | * The video opens with an extended bit of SelfDeprecation: the beginning is cut insanely short (the Critic switches off the intro with his remote) this time around, and he responds to various green words popping up, rather then giving his usual intro. |
| 802 | -->''[the word "WHO" pops up]''\ |
| 803 | '''Critic:''' Nostalgia Critic.\ |
| 804 | ''[the word "WHAT" pops up]''\ |
| 805 | '''Critic:''' Reviewing commercials.\ |
| 806 | ''[the word "TITLE" pops up]''\ |
| 807 | '''Critic:''' Like you give a shit. COMMERCIALS!! |
| 808 | ** Thus this commercial video is entitled "Like You Give a Shit". |
| 809 | * The Critic is practically bored to death by the Federal Express playset commercial. Much like the Barbie Corvette, he points out an undeserved "wow!" from one of the kids. |
| 810 | -->'''Critic:''' I could barely muster an "eh". |
| 811 | * In the Atari Spider-Man commercial: |
| 812 | ** The Critic comparing the Atari Spider-Man commercial's Green Goblin to the [[Film/SpiderMan1 movie version]]. |
| 813 | --->'''Critic!Green Goblin:''' ''[grabbing Spider-Man]'' I could crush you like a bug right now! But, let's play video games instead. |
| 814 | ** Critic [[MondegreenGag mishears]] Green Goblin's "You're running out of fluid!" line as several other lines, including: |
| 815 | --->''"You're running out of blue whip!"''\ |
| 816 | ''"You're running out of glue lids!"''\ |
| 817 | ''"You're running out of [[WesternAnimation/FostersHomeForImaginaryFriends Bloo]] wigs!"''\ |
| 818 | ''"You're running out of flu weed!"'' |
| 819 | * The Critic freaking out over kids eating Oreos in an '80s commercial and saying that they tapped into the Dark Dimension from ''Film/DoctorStrange2016''. And one boy has this look that he says "will send you directly to hell". |
| 820 | --> '''I EAT JESUS'''. |
| 821 | * The Frosted Flakes commercials get parodied due to their low nutritional value. Tamara plays a kid harassed by bullies to play street hockey, and Tuffy the Tiger shows up and force-feeds her the sugary cereal he represents. This happens multiple times, with Tamara only becoming weak and sluggish and eventually suffering diabetes, pointing out [[VeryFalseAdvertising how illogical the claims of the commercials are]]. |
| 822 | * Their parody of the "L'eggo my Eggo" commercials with a kid (played by Malcolm) using the black arts to make sure nobody steals his Eggo waffle. Then [[Series/StrangerThings Eleven]] appears (played by Tamara) and kills the kid [[TrademarkFavoriteFood for that Eggo]]. |
| 823 | -->'''Narrator:''' Eggo Waffles is part of this complete breakfast. L'eggo my Eg-- (''Tamara Eleven gives the camera a KubrickStare before shaking her head'') [[ShuttingUpNow I'll shut up]]. |
| 824 | * The look on Critic's face when he brings up the Lobster Roll at UsefulNotes/McDonalds [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer is an actual thing.]] |
| 825 | * The Critic creeped out by [[Franchise/CareBears Secret Bear's]] whispers. |
| 826 | * Critic trying not to burst out laughing at the unfortunate yet humorous wording when watching the "My Interactive Pooh" commercial, [[CallBack much like]] [[Recap/TheNostalgiaCriticS7E22 the Douche commercials]]. |
| 827 | -->"Okay, I'm way too childish to talk about... a children's commercial, but let's just say this isn't my number-one commercial, but it's definitely my number-two." |
| 828 | * The Critic says the next commercial is confusing, as it can either be an ad or nothing but black. [[RunningGag Cue mid-video ad break.]] |
| 829 | -->'''Critic:''' ''(after the break)'' Weird, right? So random! |
| 830 | * After being placated by this year's relatively tame Canadian PSA (which is funny in of itself involving [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_Hippo House Hippos]]), Critic decides to watch a PSA from Britain about being safe near power plants, thinking that [[SchmuckBait it's a promo for an electronic board game]]. After seeing one child get electrocuted, then another, Critic starts [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl screaming]], and then flips out on Britain, in the exact same manner he did against Canada last year. |
| 831 | -->'''Critic:''' ''[crying out]'' I'M AFRAID OF BRITAIN NOW! YOU'RE NEW CANADA! YOU'RE NEW CANADA!\ |
| 832 | '''PSA announcer:''' Stay out.\ |
| 833 | '''Critic:''' OH, TRUST ME, I WILL! YOU ELECTROCUTE KIDS LIKE BUG ZAPPERS! YOU'RE SICK! YOU'RE SICK, BRITAIN! YOU CAN KEEP YOUR [[Creator/TerryGilliam TERRY GILLIAM]], 'CAUSE YOU'RE SICK![[note]]Even more funny when you realize that Terry Gilliam was actually born in America.[[/note]] |
| 834 | * The Critic flipping out over [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYX_zhlTDr8 the infamous Starburst "Berries and Cream" commercial]] with the Tiny Tim expy played by Jack Ferver, which includes a rant about how stupid the idea is, and how good writers were somehow inexplicably passed over for a supposedly stoned off his ass writer that created this piece of shit. He further tells off almost the 11 million plus people who viewed the commercial on [=YouTube=], and further scolds anyone who saw the remixes of the commercial. It leads to this: |
| 835 | -->'''Critic:''' ''(gesturing toward his black couch)'' If I wanted to sell this black couch, would I be like, ''(as Tiny Tim expy)'' "Black couch, black couch, I pooped a black couch!" Would that sell a bajillion– Would black couch stocks just ''go through the roof'' if I played that ad?! |
| 836 | * Hoping to find a [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor more creative commercial]], he changes the channel, only to land on the famously disturbing Little Baby's Ice Cream commercial. The Critic in the video is so horrified by the commercial in question, that he "expires" and so another Critic comes in to finish the job for him. He replays the commercial but cuts out the mentioning of ice cream, making it sound like it's talking about [[EatsBabies Eating Babies]]. |
| 837 | --> '''Critic:''' [[Film/SoylentGreen Little Baby's Ice Cream is PEOPLE!!!]] |
| 838 | * The Critic concludes that one thing he learned from this commercial video is that fear sells everything, so he decides to sell his black couch the only way he knows how: [[BrickJoke "Black couch, black couch, I pooped a black couch!"]], while showing clips of the scarier content of this video (including the electrocution in the British PSA, the Oreo kids, and the Little Baby's Ice Cream creature). |
| 839 | -->'''Critic:''' [[SubvertedCatchPhrase I'm the Nostalgia Critic and...]] ''[[SubvertedCatchPhrase pleasant dreams!]]'' ''[[SlasherSmile (smiles evilly)]]'' |
| 840 | [[/folder]] |
| 841 | |
| 842 | [[folder:Disney Sequels We Want]] |
| 843 | * At the beginning, Critic talks about next week being the start of Disneycember, which this year he'll talk about Direct-to-DVD Disney sequels, [[ThisisGonnaSuck he makes it clear he isn't happy about it by burying his face in his hands and letting out a slight whimper]]. |
| 844 | * His frustrated reactions to the celebrity intros from WesternAnimation/Fantasia2000. ''Especially'' refusing to let go of the movie calling Creator/SalvadorDali, "[[SmallReferencePools The melting watch guy]]". |
| 845 | * The ending: |
| 846 | -->'''Critic:''' I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and if you'll excuse me, there's a certain holiday I need to get ready for. ''(leaves, then comes running back a few seconds later)'' CHRISTMA--\ |
| 847 | ''(end credits)'' |
| 848 | [[/folder]] |
| 849 | |
| 850 | [[folder:Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas]] |
| 851 | * The video starts on the Planet [=Sha7u#o?Wz=], where the mayor of the universe is giving an alien named Cee Cee Cuckooclocks an award for [[TemptingFate loving Christmas more than anyone else in the universe]]. Just then, the Critic arrives on the planet by traveling at {{Ludicrous Speed}}, and his excitement for the holiday '''[[EarthShatteringKaboom destroys the entire planet]]'''. |
| 852 | -->'''Critic''': ''(nonchalantly)'' I win. |
| 853 | * The Critic starting his Christmas reviews by stating that he's going to look at some of the weirder aspects of the holiday. We immediately cut to a video of Creator/PatrickStewart wearing a singing elf hat, Critic acknowledges its bizarreness but decides to avoid it for now, going so far as to take the viewer's mouse icon and throw it to the bottom of the screen, twice. He would go back to the video later after finding it difficult to process the idea of Dr. Claw impersonating Santa Claus. It didn't help. |
| 854 | ** The "prevent the mouse from going to the top of the screen" gag came back later when he asks if there's a Santa tickle fetish out there, in an effort to keep people from searching for it to prove to him. |
| 855 | * Critic listing the insane number of characters that have [[SavingChristmas saved Christmas]] in the past. |
| 856 | --> [[Film/ErnestSavesChristmas Ernest]], Literature/TheBerenstainBears, The GLO Friends, [[Series/SesameStreet Elmo]], Mater from ''Franchise/{{Cars}}'', [[WesternAnimation/GoDiegoGo Diego]], [[Franchise/{{Bratz}} The Bratz Babyz]], [[Film/SavingChristmas escaped mental]] [[TakeThat ward patients]], WesternAnimation/FelixTheCat. |
| 857 | * Santa getting picked up by a hook crane. |
| 858 | -->'''Santa:''' [[WesternAnimation/TheNightmareBeforeChristmas Jack Skellington]], I told you I'm done with this shit! |
| 859 | * Notes that [[TheOtherDarrin the actress playing Penny in this special]] sounds like a Leapfrog Preschool game. |
| 860 | -->'''Critic:''' Can you spot what's good and bad? ''[points to a picture of an ice cream cone]''\ |
| 861 | '''Penny:''' That's good! ''[Critic points to a picture of [[AgonyOfTheFeet a boy who stubbed his toe]]]'' That's bad. ''[Critic points to a picture of [[PreciousPuppy puppies]]]'' That's good! ''[Critic points to a poster of ''[[Film/FantasticFour2015 Fant4stic]]'']'' [[TakeThat That's bad.]] |
| 862 | ** And when he initially heard her voice: |
| 863 | --->'''Critic''': Aww come on, how could you replace Creator/CreeSummer? She's like a voice-acting giant! [[DawsonCasting She was perfect for Penny Gadget]]! How ''dare'' they get a little kid [[ChildrenVoicingChildren to voice a little kid]]! [[FauxHorrific What's wrong with you]]? |
| 864 | * Critic's utter bewilderment at the audio quality of Inspector Gadget's singing during the "12 Days inspection" number. He concludes that Don Adams literally phoned it in from home. |
| 865 | --> '''Critic!Adams:''' I don't wanna come down to the studio! I'm too busy seeing [[Creator/MatthewBroderick who]] [[Creator/SteveCarell played]] a [[Film/InspectorGadget1999 worse]] [[Film/GetSmart me]]. I'll just record it in my garage. I hear the acoustics there are amazing. ''[{{beat}}]'' Would you believe... semi-amazing? |
| 866 | * As Gadget is talking to Santa Claw, Critic dubs it over saying "Why Santa, you're sounding charmingly satanic today!" |
| 867 | * "Look at the blank stares on those elves. They've seen things. Things they can never explain nor wish to understand." |
| 868 | * The very clear abuse of mondegreen when the elves say "Elfin", with the L being very easily heard, and the Critic (apparently) hearing "Effin" instead. |
| 869 | * While the Critic initially thinks Dr. Claw as Santa is the dumbest thing he's ever heard, hearing him say "Ho, ho, ho!" sells him the idea, and he campaigns for Claw to be the new Santa. |
| 870 | * The Critic is still confused as to why Penny never gets the credit for being the real hero of the series. Cue [[DoNotAdjustYourSet his video being hijacked]] by an older Penny announcing how the fight between MAD and her uncle (who was really a prototype for a more sophisticated Franchise/{{Terminator}}-esque robot) was a mere LetsYouAndHimFight distraction whilst she was scheming to TakeOverTheWorld. And to top it all off, the Critic is then shown sitting in StunnedSilence as Creator/CreeSummer - Penny's original voice actress (who voices Penny in the hijacked video here) - hands his tablet back to him, having asked her just to say "Ooh, I don't like that Uncle Gadget", and instead getting ''[[GoneHorriblyRight that]]''. |
| 871 | -->'''Penny:''' Penny for your thoughts, ''[[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitches]]''? |
| 872 | [[/folder]] |
| 873 | |
| 874 | [[folder:Top 12 Christmas Commercials]] |
| 875 | * As the Critic begins, he starts to answer why he is doing a Top 12, by doing so in song, to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas", only to be immediately cut off by the title cards for this video: TV static (similar to his other commercial videos) and "Jingle Bells" playing in the background, which would be the interlude for this countdown. |
| 876 | -->'''Critic:''' ''[singing]'' The first reason that- ''[gets cut off]'' Assholes. |
| 877 | * The number 11 pick? The Folgers ad with the infamous IncestSubtext to it. |
| 878 | -->'''Critic''': Yes, this is incest in the "[[UnusualEuphemism What the figgy pudding]]" degree. |
| 879 | * His number 7 pick is the UsefulNotes/McDonalds ice-skating ad. |
| 880 | -->'''Critic:''' I think it has the biggest impact because it has no talking in it. It's nothing but music, visuals, that... bored-looking deer - seriously, what's the story? Because of that, it makes it a bit more universal. Anyone can watch it and immediately know what's going on and feel the warm, special feeling when a stranger in clown makeup picks you up and doesn't let you go. ''[{{beat}}]'' The commercial makes it sound a lot nicer [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation than I do]]. |
| 881 | [[/folder]] |
| 882 | |
| 883 | [[folder:I'll Be Home For Christmas]] |
| 884 | * At the beginning, Critic gets a call from [[JerkWithAHeartOfJerk D-Bag]] and he responds by saying how [[GenreSavvy he knows he's a character who ties into the review and make his life a living Hell.]] D-Bag then decides to go to Critic's house for Christmas. |
| 885 | * Critic finds Jake Wilkinson so incredibly unlikeable and douchy that, to illustrate the point, the Grinch ends up coming in for a cameo just to say how much of an asshole he is. |
| 886 | * When Eddie Taffet at one point says "I'm a Millenial type of guy..." (keep in mind that the movie is from 1998), Critic sulks over him possibly giving birth to the term "Millenial." |
| 887 | * "During your traditional college Christmas party with [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking rave music, drinks and public domain cartoons for toddlers]]. Hey, everybody, quiet down, this fucker's playing Rudolph!" |
| 888 | * When Jake whips off Eddie's towel at the hotel, Critic censors the moment by using the old Walt Disney Animation fanfare logo. |
| 889 | * D-Bag mentions he met a kid at a hospital who missed his home. When Critic asked if he comforted the kid, D-Bag says no...instead, he burned down the kid's home so he'd have nothing to miss. |
| 890 | * The Critic's reaction to Allie Henderson ripping Jake's Santa glued hat off causing Jake to yell in pain: |
| 891 | --> '''Critic:''' Oh, that felt good! Could I just watch that on a loop? |
| 892 | -->(loops Jake yelling) |
| 893 | --> '''Critic:''' Now THAT I would proudly play at a Christmas party! |
| 894 | -->(re-edits the party scene with the moment looped on the TV) |
| 895 | * The reason for D-Bag's... well, [[ShapedLikeItself d-bag]] behavior? He's the Devil's nephew! |
| 896 | [[/folder]] |
| 897 | |
| 898 | [[folder:Rogue One: A Star Wars Story]] |
| 899 | * The review begins with: ''A long time ago... but not TOO long ago... but like, not super short either. We'd give you a date but calendars don't seem to exist in this world. I don't even know if they have clocks. Have you EVER seen a clock? This galaxy is weird.'' |
| 900 | * Chris Stuckmann appearing in his tradition 'Chris Stuckmann way' by appearing in his room and looking dead at the camera while giving an edited version of his thoughts. Only to reveal that he's actually standing right next to the Critic, with his room CGI'd behind him. Critic bats the image away and Chris looks sad. |
| 901 | * The Critic is annoyed that ''Rogue One'' doesn't start with the traditional OpeningScroll that he demands his own. Sure enough, it appears, calling ''Rogue One'' Episode 3.9, but it stops partway through as the process is "difficult". It stays that way for the rest of the review. Made even funnier when we glance to the side and see Rob furiously typing away on a keyboard. That he's holding sideways. |
| 902 | -->'''Rob:''' ''I'm sorry!'' We're only making letters ''flow through space!'' If you can think of a better way to make letters ''flow through space'', then I'd like to see it! |
| 903 | * Noting how Rey and Jyn are essentially the same character... |
| 904 | -->'''Chris:''' So a young brunette girl with a British accent is separated from her family and spends most of her life with no direction, trying to cope with that tragic day.\ |
| 905 | ''[shows Tamara in Rey's clothes]''\ |
| 906 | '''Critic:''' Actually, that's Rey's character from ''Force Awakens''.\ |
| 907 | '''Chris:''' Oh yeah, duh! How did I get those two mixed up. ''[clears throat]'' So a young brunette girl with a British accent is separated from her family and spends most of her life with no direction, trying to cope with that tragic day.\ |
| 908 | ''[{{beat}}]''\ |
| 909 | '''Critic:''' Not that ''Star Wars'' doesn't have a lot of repeat, but don't you think that's a little cut-and-paste? |
| 910 | ** ... Only for Tamara to call them out on it and point out that the same thing happened already with Luke and Anakin Skywalker. |
| 911 | --->'''Tamara:''' Oh, I'm sorry! I guess the young American guys didn't get enough attention! ''[referring to Luke and Anakin]''\ |
| 912 | '''Critic:''' OK.\ |
| 913 | '''Chris:''' Fair enough. |
| 914 | * DEATH STAR, aka Shityourpantsicus |
| 915 | * After showing the video's portrayal of the scene in which Jyn Erso is told by Cassian Andor that he wants her to help him and the other rebels learn more about the Death Star, which lasted about ten seconds: |
| 916 | -->'''Critic:''' Now, how long did it take to say that? Less than a minute?\ |
| 917 | '''Chris:''' I guess.\ |
| 918 | '''Critic:''' So, why does it take us less than a minute, and a movie ''a DOZEN minutes to say the same thing?!'' |
| 919 | * Pointing out how confusing all the planet jumping around is. |
| 920 | -->'''Orson Krennic:''' ''[to a Stormtrooper]'' I'm taking you out to lunch!\ |
| 921 | ''[travel to a planet named "Djfrhilsdgry"]'' \ |
| 922 | '''Krennic:''' I completely forgot why we came here.\ |
| 923 | ''[travel back to the Death Star]''\ |
| 924 | '''Krennic:''' That's right! Lunch!\ |
| 925 | ''[travel back to Djfrhilsdgry]'' |
| 926 | * Trying to explain [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment the squid]]. |
| 927 | -->'''Chris:''' Or why the hell Squidward was in this movie?! What... was that?! Why was that?! Stop putting scenes with tentacles in your movies! They don't work! |
| 928 | * Critic describing K-2SO as "kinda like C-3PO if they sucked out all the pussy." |
| 929 | -->'''C-3PO:''' Greetings and salutations, I am C-3P--\ |
| 930 | ''[Jyn comes with a syringe and uses it on C-3PO, literally sucking the "pussiness" out of him and leaving K-2SO behind]''\ |
| 931 | '''K-2SO:''' Oh piss off, you pansy! Suck my big black rod! |
| 932 | * Critic finds Chirrut Imwe's name too hard to pronounce, so calls him [[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender Toph]] instead. Cue Chirrut suddenly getting Toph's armbands and headdress. |
| 933 | * The redux of Jyn and Saw's relationship. |
| 934 | -->'''Saw Gerrera:''' Wow, we went over everything, and I feel like, no attachment.\ |
| 935 | '''Jyn Erso:''' ''[nonchalantly]'' Yeah, I'm not gonna miss you when you die.\ |
| 936 | '''Saw:''' Speaking of which...\ |
| 937 | ''[gets killed by the low-powered test shot from the Death Star]''\ |
| 938 | '''Jyn:''' Whoa! Wow... all right. |
| 939 | * After pointing that Grand Moff Tarkin is in the film. |
| 940 | -->'''Critic:''' Wait a minute. How did they film that if Peter Cushing is dead? ''[Chris looks at him]'' Oh no, not--!\ |
| 941 | '''Chris:''' That's right! Digital Talkin' Tarkin! Available now on Hasbro for only $14.95! (Void where prohibited)\ |
| 942 | '''Critic:''' ''[hands on his face]'' ''Oh God!'' It's like Creator/JeffBridges from ''Film/TronLegacy'' mixed with Creator/JimCarrey from ''WesternAnimation/{{A Christmas Carol|2009}}''! |
| 943 | * Critic pointing out that James Earl Jones's voice is sounding a little tired after playing Darth Vader all these years. |
| 944 | -->'''Vader:''' Oh my God, are they still making these? OK, where's the script? How many lines do I have? What? This it? Oh Christ, I was in ''Film/TheSandlot'' longer. What, am I literally just taking a bath while I'm off-screen? OK, OK. Look here, General Krennic... Krennic? What the hell kind of name ''is'' that? It's like in one ear and out the other. I've forgotten. I forgot I even said it. Oh, fuck it. Just don't have me scream 'NOOOO' and we'll be good. |
| 945 | * The Gareth Edwards approval scale, shown in order to make the characters seem interesting, but not exciting. |
| 946 | * While talking about the final space battle, they say that it still raises a question: |
| 947 | -->'''Krennic:''' If Vader is in this movie, why isn't he down on that beach kicking ass?\ |
| 948 | '''Trooper:''' Err, hello? Sand?\ |
| 949 | '''Krennic:''' Oh, right. [[NeverLiveItDown He hates sand.]] \ |
| 950 | '''Trooper:''' It's so rough and irritating.\ |
| 951 | '''Krennic:''' And it gets everywhere.\ |
| 952 | '''Trooper:''' He has posters, like, all over the place. ''[shows Darth Vader posters saying 'I hate sand']'' How could you miss this?\ |
| 953 | '''Krennic:''' Ugh, I guess I'll have to go down there.\ |
| 954 | '''Trooper:''' Don't you have a million Stormtroopers?\ |
| 955 | '''Krennic:''' Yeah, but [[ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy I can actually]] ''[[ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy hit]]'' [[ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy something]]! ''[storms away]''\ |
| 956 | '''Trooper:''' ''[hangs head]'' What an asshole. |
| 957 | * The Darth Vader scene, crossing with SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome. |
| 958 | -->'''Darth Vader:''' I have come... to deliver the most awesome scene in the movie. ''[ignites lightsaber, rebels start shooting, but he casually just blocks blasts with one hand]'' Yeah, no. This is nothing. This is literally nothing. I can do this with no hands. Watch. ''[lets go of his lightsaber and uses the Force to wave it around in front of him, still blocking the blasts, and then begins to dance]'' My saber is also great at making people shorter. ''[uses the Force to send the lightsaber at a rebel, cutting his head off]'' And you belong on the ceiling. ''[uses the Force to lift a rebel and hit him against the ceiling and the floor, over and over, while the remaining two rebels can only stare, and then he just turns around]'' I'm not even looking at you! That's how easy this is! I'm so cool! ''[stops blasts with his hand]'' Oh, that's right, bitches! I'm stopping that with my hand! With my goddamn hand! ''[rebels stop firing]'' But you know what they say: What goes in must come out. Out my ass. OK, here we go, everybody. ''[turns around, bends over, and shoots blasts out of his ass, killing a rebel]'' I'm fucking amazing! ''[addressing the final rebel]'' Ooh, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Shit's getting hot in here! ''[rebel drops his gun and holds out his fists]'' Oh, OK, yeah! We're gonna duke it out! We're gonna duke it out! Tough guy, huh? [[OhCrapFakeout Oh, I'm so scared! Darth Vader's gonna die from your pussy fists! Oh, wait. I forgot. I can choke a bitch.]] ''[Force-chokes the rebel, then picks up his lightsaber at the end and drops it like a MicDrop]'' Dark side, motherfuckers. |
| 959 | ** At the end of the review, during the credits, Vader is dancing on top of a Star Destroyer. |
| 960 | * Chris and Critic's reactions to CGI Princess Leia. |
| 961 | -->'''Leia:''' We have a new hope.\ |
| 962 | '''Critic:''' You need an exorcist. |
| 963 | * Critic and Stuckmann wonder if there will every be a scene as epic as Vader singlehandedly destroying the rebels. When Stuckmann gets tired of Critic asking more and more epic things, Critic gets blown up by Vader flying through space, gloating that he can fly too. |
| 964 | * [[TheStinger After the credits roll]], it cuts to the Critic reading a Princess Leia comic saying there's nothing else and "see you in January". Making him remember that it's January, and you know what that means! Sequel Month: The Sequel! Critic's expression turns into one of horror and he screams. |
| 965 | [[/folder]] |
| 966 |
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