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1[[Funny/TheCinemaSnob All]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2007To2009Episodes 2007-09]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2010Episodes 2010]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2011Episodes 2011]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2012Episodes 2012]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2013Episodes 2013]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2014Episodes 2014]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2015Episodes 2015]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2016Episodes 2016]] | '''2017''' | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2018Episodes 2018]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2019Episodes 2019]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2020Episodes 2020]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2021episodes 2021]] | [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2022Episodes 2022]]
2
3[[foldercontrol]]
4
5----
6
7[[folder:Reefer Madness]]
8* Summing up the entire premise of the film's hilariously off-the-mark message:
9-->'''Snob''': [[EveryoneHasStandards Even the 1930s]] said, "Fuck this movie!"
10** Even better when he explains the movie was picked up by a church group and had its own shots edited in and billed as an exploitation film:
11--->'''Snob''': So you can watch this after hours with your pants unzipped, JUST DON'T SMOKE ANY POT WHILE DOING IT.
12* Pointing out a big NiceJobFixingItVillain moment when expositing how joints are made...
13-->'''Snob''': Thanks. Now I know how to roll my own joint and where to hide my stash. This movie ''is'' educational!
14* "This'll learn ya! We're burning all your blocks of delicious cheddar cheese!"
15-->'''Snob''': Aaand this ol' roamin' town's about to get some secondhand happiness!
16* "Let's start this prequel to ''Film/IAccuseMyParents''..."
17* Snob is taken aback by a crossguard holding his hand out to the camera. Snob complies and shuts up until the scene is over, after which he "can continue being a smartass."
18* Just casually mentioning how the piano player looks like he chopped up five people before coming to the party. While pausing on the dude's [[SurprisinglyCreepyMoment sudden]] NightmareFace.
19** And when "Hatchet-Wielding Harry", as Snob calls him, is off by himself smoking a joint and giggling like mad...
20--->'''Snob:''' Good! That'll calm him down!
21* [[invoked[[ Snob's immediate response to Mary getting shot is [[CrossesTheLineTwice hilariously morbid]]:
22-->'''Snob:''' Well, good! Something else to make a bong out of!
23* The Snob's pretentious twin brother "Jordan B. Matthews" -- a blatant TakeThat at Kyle "Oancitizen" Kallgren of ''WebVideo/BrowsHeldHigh'' -- who defends the movie before [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext spreading mayonnaise on his nipple]].
24[[/folder]]
25
26[[folder:Friday the 13th, Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan]]
27* The RunningGag on the NonIndicativeName.
28* The review is split into two parts. When the Snob attempts a PreviouslyOn, a clip from ''Film/TheMuppetsTakeManhattan'' plays instead.
29* Jason punching the head off a boxer warrants the sound effects and GameOver text of the ''VideoGame/PunchOut'' NES game.
30-->'''Snob:''' Easiest joke in the whole episode!
31* Snob's reaction to Jason seeing a billboard ad for the Eastern Hockey League:
32-->'''Snob:''' Stop being funny, ''Part VIII''! Only ''Part VI'' is allowed to be funny!
33* When Charles points out that they should call the police instead of trying to face the muggers head-on
34-->'''Snob:''' [[LampshadeHanging Have you noticed yet]] that Charles is one of those characters that [[DesignatedVillain we're supposed to hate]] but he's the [[OnlySaneMan only one]] who is [[StrawmanHasAPoint constantly making sense]]?
35* Snob explaining Jason's VillainousRescue:
36-->'''Snob:'''...for a moment, Jason becomes the hero when he actually saves her from [[RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil being raped]]. [[EvenEvilHasStandards He only kills both parties when it's consensual]].
37[[/folder]]
38
39[[folder:I'm Not Ashamed]]
40* The Snob pointing out how Team Snob was able to parody a scene from this movie in ''Film/JesusBro'' without having even ''seen'' the movie beforehand.
41* The film is about a victim of the Columbine massacre, yet constantly feels the need to unsubtly [[{{Foreshadowing}} foreshadow]] said massacre. The Snob isn't amused:
42-->''(after yet another scene of Harris and Klebold planning)''\
43'''Snob:''' Hey, wait a minute...[[SarcasmMode I think this movie's about the Columbine shooting!]]
44* During a scene where the dialogue is frustratingly deafened by a character playing a guitar, Snob plays a scene of [[Film/AnimalHouse Bluto]] smashing a guitar.
45* "TheNineties made it much easier to notice the douchebags: they all wore the same white hats. [[DawsonCasting And they all look thirty.]]"
46* There's something [[BlackComedy darkly funny]] about how with all the many, ''many'' horrible movies the Snob has covered, ''it's a [[Creator/PureFlixEntertainment PureFlix]] movie'' that has him visibly nervous about reviewing it, complete with eighties-style collar tugging. Especially when the movie actually turns out to be surprisingly tasteful.
47* Though the movie turns out to be significantly better than expected, Snob gets increasingly annoyed at the over-the-top foreshadowing, [[ForegoneConclusion considering everyone knows]] [[TheHeroDies how the movie's going to end.]]
48-->'''Snob:''' And the way the dialogue is, it's like every line is her last line!\
49'''Rachel:''' Hey...look out for my friend Austin when I'm not around.\
50'''Snob:''' Oh my god, movie, I know she's gonna die!\
51'''Rachel:''' Why can't I see my future?\
52'''Snob:''' ''Stop!''
53* Snob's reaction to how the movie isn't nearly as preachy as he thought it would be, and is in fact surprisingly good ([[DamnedByFaintPraise well, at least by the standards of Pureflix]]).
54-->'''Snob:''' ''(in a disbelieving tone)'' The Columbine Pureflix movie [[TakeThat is less hateful than]] the ''romance'' Pureflix movie!
55[[/folder]]
56
57[[folder:Macho Man]]
58* ''VideoGame/PunchOut'' sound effects return, with Snob saying it's an ObligatoryJoke.
59* "I see ''someone'' has the blues. ''Music/{{Kraftwerk}}'' Macaroni and Cheese."
60[[/folder]]
61
62[[folder:Glen or Glenda]]
63* The opening series of Mad Libs, where the Cinema Snob ''somehow'' comes up with the movie title "''Film/BelaLugosiMeetsABrooklynGorilla''"... and is then openly baffled with how [[AluminumChristmasTrees that's an actual movie]].
64* "Bela Lugosi in ''Glen or Glenda''. We don't know which but his penis is in one of the two!"
65* [[invoked]] The Cinema Snob openly lampshading the film's LostAesop in how sexuality and gender are more complex than society likes to present them as... and then following up these surprisingly thoughtful messages with [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment random cutaways to]] StockFootage of [[{{Fanservice}} attractive young women and men engaging in bondage]].
66* Snob getting his mail wearing a dress - and as a CallBack to his review of ''Nudist Colony of the Dead'', dancing to "It's An Inky Dinky Doo-Dah Morning" while doing so.
67* [[invoked]] The Snob's pretentious twin Jordan B. Matthews returns to talk about how the film was FairForItsDay regarding its views on transgenderism. After that's all said and done, we see him [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext pull a pineapple from the bottom of the screen with a ''pop'' sound effect and a moan]]. The Snob's response? [[SkewedPriorities Asking how come his brother had hair now, even though he didn't last time]].
68[[/folder]]
69
70[[folder:The Beyond]]
71* The Snob teasing the viewers about spiders, between bits of a scene where a character gets killed by spiders.
72-->[[BlatantLies "Well you're in luck, cause none of that is in the movie."]]
73* One of the movie's characters -- John -- repeatedly picks up the IdiotBall when it comes to [[RemovingTheHeadOrDestroyingTheBrain dealing with zombies]].
74-->'''Snob:''' God damn it! If you're gonna keep forgetting to shoot them in the head then I'm gonna stop rooting for you!
75[[/folder]]
76
77[[folder:Manhattan Baby]]
78* After giving a brief intro to the movie, the Snob's review "properly" starts out with the film's opening scene: A close-up shot of a scorpion wandering the Sahara Desert with a camel in the background.
79-->'''Snob:''' ''[with his arms crossed and a comically infuriated expression]'' [[CaptainObvious That's not Manhattan!]] [[BlatantLies That's obviously Queens!]]
80* During the family's vacation in Egypt, a mysterious spirit of a blind woman appears and the Snob eagerly hopes she has something "weird and mystical to say!". The spirit then grabs the hand of Suzy (the family's young daughter), leaves her [[ArtifactOfDoom a cursed Eye of Ra necklace]], ominously intones "Tombs... are for the ''dead''," and disappears. The Snob... isn't very pleased.
81-->'''Snob:''' ''[visibly unimpressed]'' Really? ''That's'' what you crossed over into the real world to say? [[CaptainObvious That tombs are for dead people]]? What's ''next? [gestures to his mouth]'' You're gonna tell me food goes in ''here?''
82* During a scene that takes place in an Egyptian tomb, the Snob points out that there's some...interesting background music.
83-->'''Snob:''' It's not that I object the American release using music from [[VideoGame/SuperMario64 Mario 64]], but ''why?''
84* The weird annoying kid with the comically-obvious adult-sounding dubbed voice from ''House by the Cemetery'' is back! And Snob refuses to call him by his character's name in this movie (a.k.a. "Tommy"), but by the other movie's "Bob".
85** [[invoked]] Even better? While in ''House by the Cemetery'' the Snob utterly loathed "Bob" and openly regarded him as TheScrappy, here he seems to ''love'' the kid and find him (most likely at least ''somewhat'' sarcastically) to be one of the film's few bright spots... at least in the sense that [[DamnedByFaintPraise his sheer weirdness actually comes across as somewhat entertaining when the rest of the film is so relentlessly boring]].
86** [[invoked]] Instead, Emily[[note]]the family's mother[[/note]] has an exceptionally annoying coworker & "office jokester" played by Giovanni Lombardo Radice named "Luke". [[TheScrappy Luke]] then takes most of the Snob's ire throughout the review, to the point where [[TakeThatScrappy he's visibly satisfied]] when Luke inadvertently kills himself by walking through a closet doorway enchanted by the Egyptian curse.
87* "[[ItMakesSenseInContext Meanwhile, in a sitcom establishing shot...]]"
88* [[invoked]] As the curse starts effecting the family, there's [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment a random zoom-in shot on a Rubix cube in the family's apartment]].
89-->'''Snob:''' An unfinished Rubix cube in 1982? ''[[SarcasmMode Impossible]]!!''
90* The Snob's snark over how the babysitter for the kids is named "[[Creator/JamieLeeCurtis Jamie Lee]]".
91-->'''Snob:''' They probably figured that naming her "[[Franchise/{{Halloween}} Laurie Smiths-Grove-Samhain-Haddonfield]]" would be ''too'' obvious!
92** He also later claims that Jamie Lee's CruelAndUnusualDeath at the hands of the curse is "[[TakeThat still a better fate]] than what she got in ''Film/HalloweenResurrection''."
93* [[invoked]] After the Egyptian curse seems to kill one of the apartment building's residents through a freak elevator malfunction, the Snob lampshades how thanks to FridgeHorror considering how crummy the family's apartment building is, there's actually decent odds of the Egyptian curse ''[[NotMeThisTime not]]'' actually being responsible for that and it just being a ContrivedCoincidence.
94[[/folder]]
95
96[[folder:City of the Living Dead]]
97* [[invoked]] Giovanni Lombardo Radice's [[TheWoobie Woobie]] character both having PsychicPowers and being named "Bob" has the Snob theorizing that this film is secretly the ''Film/DoctorSleep'' to ''Film/HouseByTheCemetery''[='s=] ''Film/TheShining''.
98* A scene where a raised corpse [[{{Fingore}} viciously tears off a man's thumb]] while they're at said corpse's funeral has the Snob showing a clip from ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'' where Homer warns Bart "Don't hassle the dead, boy. They have ''eerie powers''...".
99* The fact the ending is as needlessly vague as possible annoys Snob, even saying ''City of the Walking Dead'' seems to have more of a conclusion.
100* Another Patreon poll... with ''Windy City'' [[RunningGag shoehorned in as an option again]].
101[[/folder]]
102
103[[folder:Conquest]]
104* During the opening, Snob does a BaitAndSwitch saying the "[[TakeThat Patreon Electoral College]]" chose ''Windy City'' instead... and during TheStinger, like in the Academy Awards one day before, comes an envelope with a different result: "The Black Cat".
105* As the villainess becomes a wolf, Snob dubs in the ending dialogue from ''Oh! Heavenly Dog''.
106[[/folder]]
107
108[[folder:King Dong]]
109* "If there are '''four''' ''E.T.'' pornos, of ''course'' there will be a ''King Kong'' one!"
110[[/folder]]
111
112[[folder:Bela Lugosi Meets A Brooklyn Gorilla]]
113* "This title just sounds as if I'm reading about [Bela Lugosi] going to the zoo!"
114* After a terrible joke:
115-->'''Snob:''' Hmm, she's the only one laughing. Reminds me of when I took a date to go see the ''That Darn Cat'' remake. [[TakeThat There was no second date]]. Just like if I took a date who laughed at this!
116* [[invoked]] The Snob's growing annoyance with [[TheScrappy Sammy]] [[DesignatedHero Petrillo]].
117* "Compliments of Frank Sinatra, mother fucker!"
118* Jordan B. Matthews returns again, and doesn't even try to defend the film as he has his own... shall we say, defense to make.
119-->'''Jordan B. Matthews:''' It has come to my attention that there are many people who think I pulled a pineapple out my ass during my last appearance. I will have you know that it was ''not'' my ass. I was making sweet love to the pineapple with my sweaty, adequate dick, and if anyone says otherwise, they will be immediately ''blocked.''
120[[/folder]]
121
122[[folder:Mighty Muffin Pounder Rangers]]
123* The return of Actual Lee (after all, Linkara is the resident Power Rangers expert), with intromissions that are always irrelevant.
124[[/folder]]
125
126[[folder:God's Club]]
127* The Dove Foundation is compared to Armond White, "except it's not trying to sound smart". Cue [[DearNegativeReader a tweet by White replying to the Snob]].
128-->'''Snob:''' What?! Oh, Armond White ''does'' sound like the guy who Twitter-searches his own name.
129* "Your brother, Donald Trump" -- Alec Baldwin dressed as Trump, of course.
130* Snob's continuous disappointment at Stephen Baldwin's [[DullSurprise sleepwalking]] performance, which at a certain point he starts to highlight with the praising blurb "Stephen Baldwin is superb".
131** "[Stephen Baldwin] looks like a handsome...thumb."
132[[/folder]]
133
134[[folder:"The Smuffs"]]
135* Snob's angry tirade against lazy ParallelPornTitles (including the movie from this episode, which is actually ''This Ain't The Smurfs XXX: A Porn Parody'').
136* Tobe Fair is back, though his takedowns by the Snob (which even include a reference to the ''Film/GhostInTheShell2017'' ''WebVideo/MidnightScreenings'' episode) are funnier than his intromissions.
137[[/folder]]
138
139[[folder:Zombies on Broadway]]
140* "Only this movie doesn't have Hitler in it! Weird that I have to specify this..."
141* A character named Douglas Walker leads to [[Creator/DougWalker obvious]] [[WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic references]].
142-->'''Snob:''' Because of the criticisms from Doug Walker, Brown & Carney are threatened in to finding a real zombie for the night club...and that is literally an accurate description of the plot!
143[[/folder]]
144
145[[folder:God's Not Dead 2]]
146* The Snob breaking into cartoonish evil laughter pretty much every time Ray Wise says or does anything.
147* ''WebVideo/MidnightScreenings'', starring [[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Fat Grandma]] and Brad Jones!
148* Snob referring to the film as "God's Not Dead 2: God Harder".
149* All Snob can say when the Universal logo pops up before the film?
150-->"...why?!?"
151* Snob's BrainBleach moment during a scene between Creator/MelissaJoanHart and Pat Boone:
152-->'''Snob:''' Ohhh... please tell me they're not banging... I get enough of that from the John Derek movies!
153* "[[Creator/JossWhedon Josh Wheaton]] is not in this film! He's hanging out with his friends [[Creator/GeneRoddenberry George Roddenberry]] and [[Creator/StevenSpielberg Steven Spielsteen]]!"
154* "In space, no one can hear you pray."
155* His reaction to Mike Huckabee's cameo:
156-->'''Snob:''' [[SarcasmMode Tell me more about tolerance,]] [[CargoShip guy who fucks chicken sandwiches]] [[HeteronormativeCrusader to keep the gay away.]]
157* "And that was ''Series/{{Clarissa Explains|ItAll}} Nothing''!"
158[[/folder]]
159
160[[folder:Another Son of Sam]]
161* "[='=]''Another Son of Sam''[='=]?! That's not a good idea! I wanna watch a movie, not get shot with a .44 caliber pistol!"
162[[/folder]]
163
164[[folder:Unidentified Flying Oddball]]
165* The movie is so bad that it makes the Snob the driest and most sarcastic he's been in years. Well, moreso. Just see the sheer contempt whenever Snob has to say the title out loud.
166** Speaking of that, there's him saying ''this'' movie [[TakeThat is a more accurate retelling]] of King Arthur than [[Film/KingArthurLegendOfTheSword the Guy Ritchie version]] hitting theaters.
167* The review ends with yet another Patreon poll! And Snob doesn't even do a VerbalBackspace listing ''Windy City'' again.
168[[/folder]]
169
170[[folder:Windy City]]
171* The whole opening where Snob is genuinely surprised to note how ''Windy City'' finally won a Patreon poll... And that it's an extraordinarily dull movie that lacks anything remotely resembling Dianne Wiest blowing herself up in ''Independence Day (1983)''.
172** Even better: it won the poll by ''one percent'' of the votes.
173** He then concludes the main lesson here is that [[SpoofAesop his Patreon viewers would rather watch lame 80's dramas than movies with aliens]], given how ''Independence Day'' was the, well, ''[[ShapedLikeItself Independence Day]]: Resurgence'' tie in, and ''Windy City'' is the ''Alien: Covenant'' tie in.[[note]]However, the first time ''Windy City'' was shoehorned into a poll, it lost to a movie with aliens, but wasn't a tie in to, ''Spaced Invaders''.[[/note]]
174* The Snob gets so bored by the movie so quickly that he falls asleep right at the opening credits.
175* The introduction of Sol:
176-->'''Danny:''' My friend Sol was dying.\
177'''Snob:''' Oh no, Sol's dying? ...WHO'S ''SOL?!''
178** He isn't particularly impressed by Sol's love advice either.
179--->'''Sol:''' Creator/DustinHoffman wouldn't let her get away! He ran to that church, he was pounding at that door! Elaine! Elaine!\
180'''Snob:''' Sure. That way you [[Film/TheGraduate get to sit on a bus and contemplate your life choices!]]
181** Also this after Sol praises Danny contemplating just calling up Emily and giving her a LoveConfession:
182--->'''Snob:''' That's terrible advice! I'm really not looking forward to the ''Windy City'' spin-off [[Series/BetterCallSaul ''Better NOT Call Sol'']]!
183* Bored out of his mind, the Snob starts doing a ''Tequila and Bonetti'' voice for a dog. He then gets baffled when ''the movie itself'' starts making a "talking dog" joke for said dog via Danny.
184* When it becomes clear how serious the Rogues are about their childhood dream about being pirates:
185-->'''Snob:''' I know it's because they watched pirate movies as kids, and wanted to go on adventures. But I watched ''Film/DieHard'' as a kid and didn't want to jump off buildings!
186* Over footage of the ship the Rogues chartered for Sol, Danny gives us the WhereAreTheyNowEpilogue.
187-->'''Danny:''' Sol died at sundown on the ninth day...\
188'''Snob:''' ''[imitating Danny, as the ship's cannon fires]'' We then fired him out of a cannon. His body crashed into a White Castle and they made chicken rings out of his remains.
189** Additionally, the Snob replaces the film's actual WhereAreTheyNowEpilogue (excluding the section regarding Emily) with the iconic WhereAreTheyNowEpilogue speech from ''Film/StandByMe''. He also makes another ''Stand By Me'' reference at the end of the film.
190--->'''Snob:''' See, this is what happens when you confuse Creator/StephenKing with Stephen ''R.'' King!\
191''[later, as the movie ends with Danny and Emily walking out into Chicago together]''\
192'''Snob:''' If Danny and his friends had ever learned about the location of a dead body when they were kids, they would've just stayed home and watched ''Series/TheBozoShow'' instead!
193* At the end, he reveals that ''Windy City'' never got an official DVD release... which is why he has a bootleg.
194-->'''Snob:''' Even the disc says "Fuck Sol", they blew a hole in his fucking head!
195* The "Fuck Sol" RunningGag, after it appears that Danny is the only one of the Rogues who seems to care about Sol. {{Take That}}s towards Sol not only were a running gag in this episode, but went on to becoming running gags in later reviews! To the point that a montage of memorable characters from 2017 reviews in the "Top 10 Cinema Snob Moments of 2017" (which included Sol) ended with a "Fuck Sol!"
196* Snob stating that his next review will be ''Pirates'', the [[ParallelPornTitles porn parody]]/[[TheMockbuster mockbuster]] of the ''Franchise/PiratesOfTheCaribbean'' films, because by its title alone at least ''that'' movie has a better excuse to be about pirates than ''Windy City''.
197[[/folder]]
198
199[[folder:Pirates]]
200* "They do have a budget: they've afforded the real Cap'n Crunch!"
201* "Accidental lesbian sex...BOY, WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE BEFORE!"
202[[/folder]]
203
204[[folder:Erotic Nights of the Living Dead]]
205* "When I finished one year of the Cinema Snob, it already felt like ten years!"
206* The RunningGag on Mark Shannon's genital warts.
207* A black cat has Snob say it's someone angry at ''The Black Cat'' losing the Fulciuary poll.
208* After the main characters ''finally'' reach the island 50 minutes into the movie:
209-->'''Snob''': And there's still an hour of this movie left! ''[[TakeThatAudience Because fuck you!]]''
210[[/folder]]
211
212[[folder:Night of the Seagulls]]
213* "It was never called 'Zombi 8'! But it makes more sense than [[NonIndicativeName a movie about zombie knights called Night of the Seagulls]]."
214* "Epoca atual" (Spanish for "Current days") leads Snob to complain "Are you 'actually' me?", and bring in Actual Lee.
215[[/folder]]
216
217[[folder:Deep Throat II]]
218* The RunningGag on the Watergate informant.
219* The MoodWhiplash from a sex scene to a hearing about a man that [[BestialityIsDepraved rapes sheep]].
220[[/folder]]
221
222[[folder:Caligula III]]
223* Stock footage from other ''Caligula'' reviews!
224* As the film cuts back and forth from Caligula, his cousin and a dancer, Snob splices in one of the Oogieloves playing the keyboard.
225[[/folder]]
226
227[[folder:Cannibal Holocaust II]]
228* Regarding the FramingDevice of the original episode, Snob says "So probably I'm now dead".
229* The RunningGag on how Snob keeps expecting animal cruelty.
230[[/folder]]
231
232[[folder:That Nazty Nuisance]]
233* Snob admits he forgot all about ''The Devil With Hitler'' because he saw the movie, wrote and shot the video, all in the same day. And admits he did the same with this one, so he'll probably forget it too.
234-->'''Snob''': (mirthfully) ''Heh heh heh heh heh'', I forgot about Hitler taking it in the ass with a bomb! Heh heh- (legitimately confused/concerned) ''How could I forget Hitler taking it in the ass with a bomb?''
235* Upon learning that the film also goes by "The Last Three," Snob says that if he'd known that was a title, he wouldn't have put off reviewing a movie whose title he didn't know how to pronounce.
236[[/folder]]
237
238[[folder:Crackerjack 2: Hostage Train]]
239* "Hahaha! Oh, the League of Super Critics page. [[ScrewedByTheNetwork They owe me so much money! Plus, they won't take down my videos! And they constantly ignore my e-mails!]] Hahaha... don't watch my stuff on the League of Super Critics page."
240** Fortunately for Brad, the League of Super Critics page was deactivated not long afterward.
241* The ''Film/DieHard'' comparisons return! Including saying that Ryan Stiles taking over the role of John [=McClane=] [[TakeThat would still be better than]] ''Film/AGoodDayToDieHard''.
242* "He's playing three roles: Judge, Jury and Executioner Reinhold."
243* "This looks like an effect for a ''review'' of ''Crackerjack 2''!" Cue a fireball pasted next to Snob, who says he will add sound later.
244* The first appearance of the glorious "''[[AssShove Will It Fit?]]''" RunningGag.
245--> '''Snob:''' Thankfully, one of the hostages knows a lot about trains. Usually he hides in the Amtrak bathrooms and sticks these up his ass. It's all a part of his internet series: ''Will It Fit?''
246[[/folder]]
247
248[[folder:Return to Boggy Creek]]
249* The episode opens with Brad Jones openly admitting he'd simply forgotten to do a 350th episode MilestoneCelebration.
250* The RunningGag on how the movie is a complete bore.
251* Every joke about Uncle Bo.
252* This video contains not one, but two [[AssShove Will It Fit?]] gags.
253--> '''Snob!Uncle Bo''': "You kids be careful now. I'll just be busy filming my own version of 'Will It Fit?'."\
254'''Snob''': "Dawn realizes the kids are gone, but more importantly, 'Will It Fit' took are a dangerous turn when Uncle Bo tried stuffing grandpa's head up his biscuits."
255[[/folder]]
256
257[[folder:Who Reamed Rosie Rabbit Part Two]]
258* Eddie from the movie inspires a [[StrawFan Douchey McNitpick]]-type complaining that Snob is making too many religious movies compared to porn. Then they give him a laptop playing the porno web show "[[AssShove Will It Fit]]".
259* Snob/Brad explaining that normally, he writes 8 paragraphs of material when making an episode for the show. The movie gave him so little to work with, he only managed to write ''3''.
260[[/folder]]
261
262[[folder:The Slumber Party Massacre Part III]]
263* Snob tries to end the episode after 30 seconds.
264* "The face says 'villain in a David Lynch movie' or 'hero in a Stephenie Meyer book'"
265* "Maria must be [[CallBack the Sol]] of the group. [[RunningGag Fuck Maria!]]"
266[[/folder]]
267
268[[folder:Darna vs. The Planet Women]]
269* Snob saying he did not take the week off because a ''Wonder Woman'' movie meant he watched ''Darna vs. The Planet Woman'' (said with about the same contempt as ''Unidentified Flying Oddball''). "I deserve no breaks!"
270* Another weird fan appears, Walt Right -- which true to the name, is a creepy bigot who has complaints so bizarre and off-topic that the Snob can't even find a proper answer.
271* The GagSub returns in this one, with moments ranging from the kid character's [[CountryMatters foul mouth]], to the grandma character quoting ''War Room'', and especially a doctor speaking English, [[RussianReversal but the]] [[FunWithSubtitles subtitles are in Tagalog]].
272[[/folder]]
273
274[[folder:Santo and the Vengeance of the Mummy]]
275* Snob annoyed at how long the BookEnds with luchadores go. In the first, he even adds a FreezeFrameBonus (a split second appearance of Walt Right).
276* "He was a mummy this whole time!"
277[[/folder]]
278
279[[folder:The Little Cars in the Great Race]]
280* V8 (the taxi character) complains that Cruise and the other cars talk a lot about "race here, race there" whenever a big race draws near, so Snob jokes that the ''Little Cars'' series is actually a hard-hitting parable on race relations. Later on in the movie, he makes this joke:
281-->'''V8:''' Who's that new racer?\
282'''Coupe:''' (to V8) I don't know, but it's really weird. He looks a lot like Cruise. Don't you think so, Uncle?\
283'''V8:''' Cruise?\
284'''Snob:''' Not all cars look the same! That's [[StealthPun racist]]!
285* Whenever a character makes a lame car-related joke, Snob follows up with a short HurricaneOfPuns of his own.
286* "Creator/{{Pixar}}'s ''Franchise/{{Cars}}'' may be made by someone who likes cars, but ''Little Cars'' is made by someone who wants to ''fuck'' them!"
287* Snob guesses that V8 got his name because [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V8_(beverage) people wouldn't stop]] [[BananaInTheTailpipe sticking vegetables in his tailpipe]].
288[[/folder]]
289
290[[folder:Gladiformers]]
291* The RunningGag regarding the bad animation.
292* The opening title shows the "O" in ''Gladiformers'' appear before the rest of the word, leading the Snob to joke that the movie already gave itself a 0 out of 10.
293* Snob making fun of the film's HongKongDub... [[LifeImitatesArt while saying his line without moving his mouth as he glares at the camera.]]
294-->'''Snob:''' "It's real easy to animate and to dub into English when [[NoMouth the characters don't have mouths to move]]"!
295* Once Snob sees the writer of ''Film/MyGirl'' has a credit, he says it explains "the scene where Optimus Prime dies because of an allergic reaction to Bumblebee's sting!"
296* After witnessing one of the Gladiformers get beheaded:
297-->'''Snob:''' "If this were ''Gladiformers [[Anime/TransformersHeadmasters Headmasters]]'', that wouldn't have mattered."
298[[/folder]]
299
300[[folder:"Spanker-Man"]]
301* Again the Snob justifies doing proper ParallelPornTitles, from "I thought that XXX meant [[Film/XXx a crossover with Xander Cage!"]] and "The Smuffs, better known as This Ain't a Title XXX".
302* The co-writer is "[[SelfDeprecation moonlighting as 50 year old Brad Jones]]".
303* The return of Eddie, who now doesn't want porno spoofs anymore.
304[[/folder]]
305
306[[folder:Playmate of the Apes]]
307* The Snob noting that this parody was released around the same time as ''Film/PlanetOfTheApes2001'', leading to this remark.
308--> '''Snob''': The vagina makeup will be top -notch, but [[TakeThat nothing else will be.]]
309* The Snob noting that the director of this film also directed ''The Bloody Video Horror That Made Me Puke On My Aunt Gertrude'', ending with a rant.
310-->'''Snob''': He has no business making another movie, until he tells me who in the [[PrecisionFStrike FUCK]] is Aunt Gertrude! There was no Aunt Gertrude in that film! Is she [[CallBack the one who took the missing money (*cue screenshot from 'Another Son of Sam)]]?!
311[[/folder]]
312
313[[folder:Sex and the City]]
314* Snob says he watched the show because of his new roommate, a former film critic - [[Westernanimation/TheCritic Jay Sherman]]!
315* Snob's demonstration of how bad the film is: he pulls out a paper, hypothetically containing all the character relationships and plot arcs from over the course of the show's history... which he then crumples and chucks behind him against the wall. Which then becomes a RunningGag anytime characterization from the show is ruined.
316* "Wait, no chapter on Jack Berger?! ''He'' was a writer! [[BlackComedy And he's probably hung himself by now!]]"
317* After Snob realizes that the building agent for Carrie and Big's new apartment is played by Malcolm Gets from ''Series/CarolineInTheCity''[[note]]he played Richard[[/note]]:
318-->'''Snob''': (scoff; looks up in confusing) ''[[LampshadedTheObscureReference Why do I know that?!]]''
319* Snob calls out Samantha for bidding $50k at an auction, [[TakeThat since that money could've helped out with the script]].
320* Adding PsychoStrings to Charlotte's ThousandYardStare.
321* Snob decides to add his own Carrie narration (done spot-on by Brad's wife Laura).
322-->'''Laura!Carrie''': (As Carrie opens a closet door) [[Main/{{Catchphrase}} I couldn't help but wonder]], will this apartment give us a new lease on love?
323** When Laura!Carrie makes a "[[DoubleEntendre coloring inside the lines]]" joke, Snob immediately appologizes, saying it was too easy. [[TemptingFate Cue]] [[PoesLaw Carrie making the same kind of joke in-film.]]
324* This exchange:
325-->'''Samantha:''' ''[Upon seeing Miranda's pubic hair poking out from under her swimsuit]'' ...Jesus, honey; wax much?
326-->'''''[[StealthPun BUSH]][[RunningGag WHACKED]]'''''
327-->'''Snob:''' ''That may be the most appropriate use of that ''{{Film/Bushwhacked}}'' joke '''ever'''''
328* Snob calling the "trying on clothes montage" as a ''less'' anally-intrusive version of [[AssShove Will It Fit?]].
329* "This is the easiest check [[TheQuietOne Evan Handler]] ever cashed!"
330* Snob stating the movie besmirched the name of ''Mannequin: On the Move'' before [[RunningGag using]] [[Film/{{Mannequin}} Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now]] whenever Samantha is feeling horny.
331* The fact that someone like Snob knows so much about [[Series/SexAndTheCity the original series]] is funny in and of itself. Either he did a lot of research or he's actually a fan (or Brad himself is, which is possibly even funnier).
332[[/folder]]
333
334[[folder:Christian Mingle]]
335* The opening, where Snob compares various romances to dating sites.
336* "Maybe he turned to Christianity after his sister blew herself up." - cue ''Independence Day'' 1983 clip... "Hahahah! The gift that truly keeps on giving."
337* The Snob's BigWhat to the movie's [[SarcasmMode iconic]] line "You could help show me my driftwood", preempting his reaction by comparing it to Second Glance's [[NarmCharm "Hey Scotty, Jesus Man"]] and The Pretender's [[InnocentInnuendo "If I ever come to Jesus, I'll come all the way"]].
338* When Gwyneth says that all she wants is a man that will look at her for ten seconds and smile.
339-->'''Snob:''' Boy, do I have a guy for you!\
340''(shows a scene from Film/OldFashioned)''\
341'''Snob:''' Downside, he may be Norman Bates.
342* "I smell a 'learning to be a Christian montage'". [[Film/JesusBro Cuts to a montage of the Rickhead reading the bible]]. [[ExactWords "What? I didn't say it'd be from Christian Mingle"]].
343* After a character blatantly makes up a Bible verse: "Well, it could've been worse. You could've said it was from 'Two Corinthians'."
344* The Snob [[RunningGag repeatedly points out]] that for all its flaws, the movie is still a better Christian romance than ''Old Fashioned''.
345* The Snob keeps getting taken aback by how stupid the characters act sometimes, to the point of [[PoesLaw wondering twice]] if it's a StealthParody.
346
347-->(Paul struggles with chopsticks)
348-->'''Snob:''' Christians aren't this stupid. Why is this movie being condescending to ''itself?''
349
350-->(Gwyneth fumbles with a Bible)
351-->'''Snob:''' You don't know how a fucking ''book'' works?!
352
353-->(Gwyneth doesn't know how to end Grace)
354-->'''Snob:''' You don't know what the word "Amen" is?!
355
356-->(Paul's mother tries to spell it out for him that Gwyneth is a phony, to no effect)
357-->'''Snob:''' It was then she realized that she raised an ''idiot.''
358
359-->(Paul invites Gwyneth down to Mexico)
360-->'''Snob:''' He actually invites her down to Mexico, which is followed by her ''double checking the map to see where Mexico is?''
361
362-->(the missionaries stare at a bell for a while, then stare at the bell tower for a while)
363-->'''Snob:''' Are you wondering how to get up there or are you wondering what a bell ''is?'' The characters are so brain-dead I can't tell!
364
365[[/folder]]
366
367[[folder:Sex and the City 2]]
368* The fact that the (placeholder) title card is the exact same title card used for the review of the first movie, but with a poorly drawn "2" over it.
369* [[WebVideo/BadMovieBeatdown Bastard Film Brain]] strikes again... in Tweet form!
370--> ''I know a thing about heels, I use them to pleasure Snob's sexually frustrated great grandmother''.
371--> '''Snob''': DUH, GODDAMNIT BASTARD FILM BRAIN!
372* Abu Dhabi leads to a ''ComicStrip/{{Garfield}}'' joke. ("What the fuck was Nermal complaining about?").
373* The return of Laura Jones as Fake!Carrie, who comes with her own [[DeadpanSnarker snarky comments]] on the film.
374--> '''Fake!Carrie''': (In response to Carrie meeting her ex in Abu Dhabi) [[CatchPhrase I couldn't help but wonder]]: is this really [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] [[ContrivedCoincidence farfetched]]?
375* The Snob responding to Samantha's [[IncrediblyLamePun Lawrence of]] [[DoubleEntendre my Labia]] line:
376-->'''Snob''': That joke could have been worse. She could have said, [[TakeThat "This Ain't Lawrence of Arabia, a XXX Joke]].
377* The Snob's response to a sing-along?
378-->'''{{WebVideo/Phelous}}''': No.
379[[/folder]]
380
381[[folder:Double Down]]
382* The Snob describes actor/director Creator/NeilBreen as the combination of Alex Jones, Creator/TommyWiseau, [[Film/SilentNightDeadlyNightPart2 Ricky Caldwell]], and an actual KFC Double Down sandwich.
383* "[[IncrediblyLamePun DAM!!!]]"
384* "By the way, I now know what Neil Breen's balls look like...[[DamnedByFaintPraise and they don't have Mark Shannon's warts so there's THAT.]]"
385* The scene after Breen's character gets a phone call about his love interest's cancer death reminds the Snob of Ryan O'Neal's "OH MAN! OH GOD!" line from ''Film/ToughGuysDontDance''.
386[[/folder]]
387
388[[folder:Voiceless]]
389* The fact that Walt Right got arrested for pleasuring himself to ''WesternAnimation/TheEmojiMovie''.
390* The Snob's surprise that the movie supplies its own creepy music, forcing him to use ''[[SubvertedTrope non-creepy music]]''.
391** Much to his horror, the SoundtrackDissonance only raises ''more questions''.
392* Snob constantly referring the main character as a SerialKiller.
393* Referring to a {{Jerkass}} character as Creator/BrianCox due to his high resemblance.
394[[/folder]]
395
396[[folder:Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot]]
397* The intro where Snob describes a scene where Stallone's mom cleans his gun and he gets pissy about it, complete with Stallone impression.
398** Not only is this [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer an actual scene in the film]], but once Stallone mentions the probability of his gun exploding in his hand due to the Clorox, Snob mentions that [[BlackComedy "exploding gun is Arnold's plan B prank"]].
399* As Snob explains, Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger more or less ''tricked Creator/SylvesterStallone into doing the film'', effectively making this the greatest prank of all time. The idea of Schwarzenegger laughing after the practical joke he pulled in convincing Sly to do this becomes a RunningGag through the review.
400** When Stallone's character gives some jerk a {{Swirlie}}, Snob says that it was much easier for him to give one to that guy than Schwarzenegger.
401** He then goes on to say that he thinks Schwarzenegger was busy trying to trick Creator/ChuckNorris to starring in ''Film/TopDog''.
402* Snob's reaction to Stallone's mom cleaning his gun.
403-->'''Snob:''' [[SubvertedTrope I'm not even going to waste a]] [[RunningGag BUSHWHACKED]] [[EveryoneHasStandards on you.]]
404* The Snob's comment after his StunnedSilence to [[ItMakesAsMuchSenseInContext Stallone's 'needing his diaper changed' nightmare.]]
405--> '''Snob:''' My god. Even [[Creator/DavidCronenberg Cronenberg]] thinks this is too weird.
406* After Tutti makes a BondOneLiner after shooting Parnell:
407-->'''Joe''': (shocked) ...[[CaptainObvious you shot him.]]
408-->'''Tutti''': (blows smoke off of the gun) [[BondOneLiner No shit.]]
409-->''[[Series/TheGoldenGirls Thank you for being a frieeeend...'']]
410* "You know, maybe ''Film/CopAndAHalf'' wasn't such a bad movie after all!"
411[[/folder]]
412
413[[folder:Dancin': It's On!]]
414* The opening, where Snob acknowledges all the requests, so "the movie is probably [[SuddenlyShouting FUCKING GREAT!"]]
415* Snob pulling out a cap and placing it sideways on his head, saying the phrase [[PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy "Yo, kids! Let's rap about dancing!"]]
416* His comments about the main couple's dance routine, such as
417--->'''Snob!Heroine's classmate''': I'm tripping on acid too! Let's freak out together
418* "The Captain" earns a Jar Jar Binks impression whenever he's on-screen, including the opening roll call, which also identifies Danny and Ken as "[[Film/GodsNotDead Hip Youth Group Minister]]" and the "Slim Jim" guy, respectively.
419* His mockery of the ExpositoryThemeTune
420->'''Film!Song'''
421-->''I don't wanna be stuck here in my room''
422-->''There is so much I wanna do''
423-->''I gotta get out of this place''
424->'''Snob!Song'''
425-->''And then some people got shot out into space''
426-->''Never to be seen again''
427-->''Changed my clothes between the shots''
428-->''Don't know how he dances in slow motiooon''
429-->''But there you go!''
430* His reaction to Ken's angry dance montage ending with a random shot of [[StuffBlowingUp a helicopter blowing up]]:
431--->'''Snob:''' Because do you know how every angry dance montage should end? With '''FUCKIN' NAM'''!
432* The Snob referencing [[Film/Batman1989 Smilex gas]] in one scene, which becomes HilariousInHindsight for those who follow ''WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall'', because Linkara reviewed the comic adaptation of ''Film/Batman1989'' the same week this review came out.
433* The "''[[AssShove Will It Fit?]]''" RunningGag returns, this time having David Winters portray the host for the fictional show.
434** Not to mention this bit of SelfDeprecation:
435---> '''Snob!David Winters:''' Now I must return to the future as [[SelfDeprecation 'Old Snob']].\
436'''Snob:''' Eheh, wait, [[BigWhat WHAT?!]]
437* Just hearing that one of the characters is named "Shotsy" is enough for Snob to scoff and then shout "Fuck off!"
438** He later tops it up with this:
439--->'''Snob:''' Shotsy's upset because in this team [[IncrediblyLamePun she's not the one calling all the shotsy]]... There movie, you can have this one for free.
440* The RunningGag of imagining that Danny's actually a serial killer.
441* Snob constantly mocking the film's ADR.
442* "And now back to the notflict... I mean ''conflict''"
443* Repeatedly pointing out the weirdness of the background characters that include jugglers, people re-enacting famous movie scenes, a girl on stilts and so on.
444--->'''Snob:''' They didn't put a call out for extras, they put a call out for "miscallaneous".
445** And later on
446--->'''Snob!Director:''' Eh, listen, we got the stilts girl for an extra day, just get her in a few shots, okay?
447* "The mime isn't even the most creepy thing about this scene...Never thought I'd say that!"
448* The movie turns out to be so bad that even the Sun itself doesn't want to be in it.
449--->'''Snob!Sun during the movie's attempt at TheBigDamnKiss''' Listen guys can you wrap it up? I'm still trying to die with some dignity here!
450[[/folder]]
451
452[[folder:Song of the South]]
453* Walt Right appearing almost immediately at the beginning of the review, much to the Snob/Brad's horror.
454** And after Walt makes another bit of InsaneTrollLogic:
455---> '''Snob:''' ''[{{beat}}]'' Shut up Walt. ''[cue caption reading "[[EngineeredHashtag #ShutUpWalt]]"]''
456* Snob suspects that he's watching an UpdatedRerelease version of the film.
457-->'''Snob:''' The film has had an interesting release history and, I dunno, something tells me I may be looking at a sneak peek of a theoretical US DVD release.
458-->''(The title card comes up. Disney's name is crossed out and replaced with the Creator/IlluminationEntertainment logo)''
459-->'''Snob:''' Damn, I gotta hand it to them, [[TakeThat this is Illumination's best work to date]].
460* Snob tries to cut away several times away from the movie, only to cut to even more [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_Fried_Rabbit blatantly]] [[WesternAnimation/CoalBlackAndDeSebbenDwarfs racist]] [[WesternAnimation/AllThisAndRabbitStew cartoons.]] And then he wants to watch another forgotten Disney cartoon, so it cuts to [[WesternAnimation/EducationForDeath one about Nazism.]]
461* Snob's numerous insults to Johnny's stupid wardrobe.
462-->'''Snob!Remus:''' Here ya go Johnny, it's another story called "Brer Rabbit Thinks Johnny Dresses Like a Jackass."\
463'''Snob:''' Johnny wears his finest [[{{Squick}} used tampon]] to pick Ginny up for the party.\
464'''Snob:''' The black people are all praying for Johnny's speedy recovery. Without Johnny, who else is gonna walk around dressed like a Nutcracker?
465* When Uncle Remus stops the bullies harrassing Johnny:
466-->'''Snob!Remus:''' Gimme that stick, you're about to know what a [[AssShove Popsicle feels like,]] [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch motherfucker!]]
467* Whenever Snob impersonated Uncle Remus, at times playing up his frustration with Johnny.
468--> '''Snob!Remus:''' Goddamn it, what'd I tell you little shits about gettin' my ass shot?!
469* Snob's [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation theory]] that Brer Rabbit is actually Bugs Bunny disguising himself from Yosemite Sam, and that Brer Bear is stoned off his ass.
470[[/folder]]
471
472[[folder:Hi-Tops]]
473* Given [[QuirkyWork what is to follow]], it opens with StunnedSilence and "So what would happen if you took ''Series/HeadOfTheClass'', ''Colby's Clubhouse'', Julie Brown, ''Series/{{Bibleman}}'' and ''Ms. Velma's Christmas'' and stuck all of that in a blender? I'll tell you what happened! YOU RUIN THE FUCK OUT OF THAT BLENDER!"
474* Snob, [[CallBack once again]], taking out a cap and saying another PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy phrase:
475-->'''Snob''': SO lets rap about peer pressure kids! 'Cause if the devil shows up to give you advice, mark my words, it ain't gonna be very nice.
476* After some hard to follow dialogue, the Snob decided to do the same for his own show:
477-->'''Snob''': You can't just say a bunch of random words, and expect it to all come together just because you end it with the show's title. ''Fluffernutters'', ''corkscrews'', ''[[ProductPlacement Gatorade]]'', BOOM! Cinema Snob.
478* Calling Louie/Lucifer the guitar-wielding Driller Killer from ''Film/SlumberPartyMassacreII''.
479* Snob's reaction to a line from one of the angels is HilariousInHindsight, since he's actually mishearing it!
480-->'''Angel 1:''' You're going to de-wing us?
481-->'''Angel 2:''' You mean like...what mean [[note]]Snob hears "me and"[[/note]] little boys do to bugs?
482-->'''Snob:''' ''[Laughs and slaps his knee]'' It's funny because he's sadistic! ''Why isn't HE with Satan?!''
483* The numerous [[CallBack call backs]] to both musicals and other Christian films that he's covered, from ''Film/StayingAlive'', ''Superman the Musical'', ''Film/CantStopTheMusic'' and ''The Pretender''. The latter two gets the Snob commenting that they failed their auditions because they were too straight.
484* After the two nerds sing "I love you" to each other in an operatic fashion, Snob requests a live-shot of the audience's reaction. Cut to the puking kid with pencils shoved in his ears from ''Film/IfFootmenTireYouWhatWillHorsesDo''.
485-->'''Snob''': Mmm, sweet relief.
486* Snob pointing out that the lead actress later marries the actor portraying the nerd, and that the two later go on to become contestants on ''Series/FamilyFeud''. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Complete with a screenshot of their episode.]]
487* This setup for a reference:
488-->'''[[AlphaBitch Jenny]]:''' [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech I'm probably the only person in the world that will tell you the truth about yourself. You're ugly, you have no talent]], [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and you should stop using transmission fluid for deodorant]].\
489'''Snob:''' But all of that means ''nothing'' now that Melvin has turned into Film/TheToxicAvenger!
490* When the nerd begins to give a [[SarcasmMode heart-wrenching performance]]:
491--> '''WebVideo/{{Phelous}}:''' ''[[CallBack No]]''.
492* [[MoodWhiplash Snob breaking out into dancing to the musical's main theme song]] [[BlackComedy when the other characters in the musical discover Jenny's corpse]].
493* Snob getting so frustrated at the EndingFatigue, that he takes out and uses a '''fidget cube'''.
494[[/folder]]
495
496[[folder:My Little Pony: The Movie]]
497* [[StrawFan Eddie from Rosie Rabbit]] makes a cameo after Snob mentions the [[Rule34 porno spoof for MLP]], which then leads to a [[LampshadeHanging telegraphed]] [[AssShove Will It Fit?]] joke.
498** Eddie's facial expressions as he's watching ''Will It Fit?'' makes the cutaway to the RunningGag even better.
499* Any time something sticky (e.g. spiderwebs) appear on-screen, the Snob makes a crack about how it's from [[PeripheryDemographic fans of the new MLP movie]]. Though one pony saying "We can't do it! It's too sticky!" leads to SarcasmFailure.
500* Snob dubbing over a raccoon with a [[Creator/DingoPictures Wabuu]] impression.
501* Snob giving some of the ponies [[AerithAndBob mundane names]] after refusing to call them by their real names.
502--> "I'm not calling you Buttons. You're Steve!"
503* When a pony is having a solo musical number, Snob gives an [[SarcasmMode enthusiastic]] ShoutOut:
504--> '''Snob:''' This is the part where she "[[WesternAnimation/Frozen2013 lets it go, she lets it go. The rainbows never bothered her anyway]]."
505* After an obnoxious musical number from the Grundles with the recurring lyric "Grundles good!":
506--> '''Snob:''' Grundles BAD! They're all a group of gang rapists with leprosy!
507* After the ponies blow up the Smooze with the magic rainbow.
508--> '''Snob:''' [[TorturedMonster All the Smooze]] [[IJustWantToHaveFriends wanted to do was love]]!
509* Brian Lewis is apparently a brony and got advance tickets to the new MLP movie![[labelnote: *]]It's just an edited photo of Brian holding the tickets for the ''Barbie: Star Light Adventure'' ''WebVideo/MidnightScreenings'' episode.[[/labelnote]]
510* "[[AccidentalInnuendo Your twinkle is back, Sweet Stuff!]]"
511-->'''Snob''': It sure is, Sugar Tits!
512[[/folder]]
513
514[[folder:Halloween H20: 20 Years Later]]
515* Snob insisting to refer to Adam Arkin's character as Franchise/{{Batman}}.[[labelnote: *]]Adam Arkin kinda resembles Creator/GeorgeClooney (Clooney [[Film/BatmanAndRobin played Batman at the time]], after all)[[/labelnote]]
516* This gem:
517--> (Laurie knees Michael in the groin, making him go cross-eyed while looking at her.)\
518'''Snob as Michael''': "I wish you would!"
519[[/folder]]
520
521[[folder:Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday]]
522* Snob acting like the [[BadassBookworm John D. Lamey's character]] is an AuthorAvatar.
523-->'''Snob''': ''(When John D. Lamey escapes his cuffs, grabs a cop's gun and knocks out the cop)'' Hell yes, I am ''BADASS'' in this movie!
524* "The Duke of Crystal Lake A-Number 1 doesn't have quite the same ring as the Duke of New York, but that would imply that this series [[TakeThat spent a lot of time]] [[Film/FridayThe13thPartVIIIJasonTakesManhattan in New York"]].
525* After Jason [[OutWithABang kills a couple who's having sex]], as usual, Snob shoots an [[LampshadeHanging admittedly shameful joke]].
526--> '''Snob''': I've heard of [[{{Squick}} period sex]], but this is ridiculous! (*[[CollectiveGroan shakes his head in shame as the audience boos at him]]*)
527* Snob making a CallBack to the [[Film/HalloweenH20TwentyYearsLater last review]]
528-->'''Snob''': Are you sure you just can't defeat him with a [[GroinAttack kick to the balls?]]\
529''[cue John D. Lamey performing that on Jason]''\
530'''Snob!Jason''': "[[CallBack I wish you would!]]"
531* When the film's ending teases ''Film/FreddyVsJason'', the Snob lets out this zinger.
532-->'''Snob''': Holy shit it's '''SHARP HAND JOE'''!
533[[/folder]]
534
535[[folder:Tyler Perry's Boo! A Madea Halloween]]
536* The intro:
537-->'''Snob''': If Creator/TylerPerry's ''A Madea Christmas'' made you want to punch the baby Jesus, don't worry. This one will make you want to punch a baby that's dressed as the baby Jesus. ''({{beat}})'' [[{{Metaphorgotten}} Why it chose that as a Halloween costume, I have no idea!]]
538* "[[InCaseYouForgotWhoWroteIt Oh, Tyler Perry Studios did this?]] [[SarcasmMode Thanks, I was expecting the]] [[Creator/RidleyScott Scott Free]] [[SarcasmMode logo to pop up.]]"
539* Calling the movie "''[[InCaseYouForgotWhoWroteIt Tyler Perry's Boo! Tyler Perry, a Madea Tyler Perry Hallo-Tyler Perry-Ween.]]''"
540* Dubbing in Madea's first appearance with [[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Fat Grandma]]
541--> '''Fat Grandma!Madea''': [[Funny/TheCinemaSnob2014Episodes Saddle up sugar! Next time I'll tell you the story of how I slapped Mussolini 'cross the face for the business he pulled in Albania!]]\
542'''Snob''': Hey, wait a minute. Since when is Fat Grandma black?
543* "Is that a 30-year-old dressed as Miss Clara from ''War Room''? Because that's the only thing that makes sense!"
544* The return of the "Bushwhacked!" RunningGag.
545* "This movie makes ''Film/ErnestScaredStupid'' look like ''Franchise/{{Halloween}}''! ''Any'' of the ''Halloween'' movies!"
546* Snob needing BrainBleach for the thought of [[{{Squick}} Madea being a stripper]] and another character playing with themselves.
547-->'''Snob:''' ''[deadpan]'' Don't wanna picture ''THAT''!
548* The RunningGag regarding how [[LeaveTheCameraRunning the scenes don't seem to end]], and are {{Padding}} to begin with.
549* After noting that Cinemascore gave the film an "A", he shows that it also gave ''Film/Mother2017'' a "F" and ''Film/TheWolfOfWallStreet'' a "C", and goes on to call Cinemascore "the electoral college of movie reviews."
550* Snob's [[BigWhat reaction]] to whenever Madea being a CrossCastRole is [[LampshadeHanging acknowledged]].
551[[/folder]]
552
553[[folder:A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors]]
554* Snob not liking the new New Line logo, stating that the old logo felt like you were about to watch a snuff film.
555* Once Dokken starts playing: "It was either this or Music/AliceCooper's '[[Film/FridayThe13thPartVIJasonLives He's Back (The Man Under the Fedora)]]'. [[RunningGag Jail]]..."
556* When an institutionalized character played by Patricia Arquette appears hostile to the orderlies, Snob claims that it must be because [[TakeThat she doesn't want to do]] ''Series/CSICyber'' again.
557* A room full of hanged people is described as "a screening of ''Film/{{Geostorm}}''".
558* The RunningGag of Snob's disappointment that the returning character wasn't [[EnsembleDarkhorse Grady]] from ''Film/ANightmareOnElmStreetPart2FreddysRevenge''.
559* The RunningGag of Snob referring to Dr. Neil Gordon (Craig Wasson) as Creator/BillMaher (as they do share a resemblance), complete with Snob saying, after Gordon is shown on a computer, that he must be writing [[Series/RealTimeWithBillMaher "new rules"]].
560* When Nancy refers to Freddy as "the Boogieman":
561--> '''Snob''': That's great for keeping ''[[Film/Halloween1978 Michael Myers]]'' away, but what's it going to do about '''Freddy'''?!"
562* Snob giving another ShoutOut to another bootleg Freddy Krueger:
563--> '''Snob''': Holy shit it's '''Nightmare Feddy'''!
564* Snob pointing out the fact that the actress for Jennifer was in a series called "Friends" [[labelnote:*]]Not the 90s show[[/labelnote]]
565* The numerous [[ShoutOut shout-outs]] Snob pulls in this episode, from ''Film/DieHard'', ''Film/SlumberPartyMassacreII'', ''Film/ANewHope'', and ''Film/IndianaJonesAndTheTempleOfDoom''.
566* After Amanda Kruger's RapeAsBackstory, Snob is just silent and asks "Goddammit, stop cutting back to me every time something horrifying happens!"
567* When Will uses his dream powers to be able to get up from his wheelchair, Snob angrily calls him a faker.
568** Then, when Will gets killed, Snob thanks Freddy for [[TakeThat cancelling]] ''Series/YoungSheldon''.
569* Despite being a horror movie, Snob manages to [[{{Pun}} fit in]] a ''[[AssShove Will It Fit?]]'' joke.
570* When Snob thinks the movie goes into a GroundhogDayLoop, he repeats his "This is a Music/{{Scorpion|sBand}} household" joke.
571[[/folder]]
572
573[[folder:Halloween: Resurrection]]
574* Snob dyed his hair blond in memory of [[RunningGag Ben Tramer]].
575* When Harvey Weinstein's name appears in the credits:
576-->'''Snob:''' [[TakeThat Stop touching the damn credits, Harvey!]]
577** Later, when a character sexually harasses another character, Snob as the character claims that "Harvey said I could!"
578[[/folder]]
579
580[[folder:Mr. No Legs]]
581* The RunningGag on how the movie is named after a minor character and Mr. No Legs dies before the third act.
582-->'''Snob:''' It'd be like if you titled ''Film/TheSpyWhoLovedMe Jaws'', and I can think of [[Film/{{Jaws}} a couple reasons why they may run into difficulty there]]!
583* ''Then'' Snob discovers that its on-screen title is actually ''Gun Fighter''.
584-->'''Snob:''' Gee, I don't know why they changed it! Am I watching a movie or playing an arcade game?!
585* After a scene shows one of the protagonists in his bedroom, which is covered in fur, and his girlfriend in a white nightgown:
586-->'''Snob:''' Hey, you're getting your ''Film/{{Caligula}}'' knock-off in my ''Mr. No Legs''!
587* This gem:
588-->'''Snob:''' ''[after showing D'Angelo getting angry at Mr. No Legs]'' Lloyd Bochner is just upset because his son Ellis may have a cocaine problem.[[labelnote:Explanation]]Lloyd Bochner's son, Hart Bochner, went on to play the cocaine-addled Harry Ellis in ''Film/DieHard''.[[/labelnote]]
589* The bar scene is quite the doozy:
590-->''[after a bar patron flirts with who a appears to be a transgender woman]''\
591'''Snob:''' I'm not sure what the scene has to do with anything, but I think I know what the twist is gonna be.\
592''[a black woman and a white woman get into a fight]''\
593'''Snob:''' Ummm� The twist ''is a race riot?!'' Well I wasn't expecting ''that!'' [�] And then she [the black woman] is murdered as the bartender just watches.\
594'''Another Bar Patron:''' That black bitch!\
595''[the bartender, who's also black, cracks a bottle over his head and laughs]''\
596'''Snob:''' Nevermind, he took care of� that guy.\
597''[later]''\
598'''Snob:''' ''[imitating one of the protagonists]'' "Eh, let's just leave the bartender to clean up this shit."\
599'''Bartender:''' ''[sighs]'' Hmph-damn.\
600'''Snob:''' ''[shakes his head]'' That's the look of a man who has to frequently shut down his bar due to bottle stabbings.
601* Snob recognizing that D'Angelo, the BigBad, is played by the same actor who played Walter Thornton, Creator/PiaZadora's husband in ''Film/TheLonelyLady''.
602-->'''Snob:''' Meanwhile, Walter Thornton had to move away from screenwriting and into drug-dealing because his wife kept ruining his damn scripts!
603* "Oh, to be a fly on the lens while shooting this sequence." Said while there's an actual fly on the scene's lens.
604* The movie was made by the creators of ''Flipper'', and there's even an actor from that series. It's also a RunningGag, to the point Snob closes the review by complaining Mr. No Legs was never defeated by a dolphin.
605[[/folder]]
606
607[[folder:Bummer!]]
608* After calling the film's title an {{Understatement}},[[note]]As it follows a member of a band that snaps and becomes a {{serial killer}}/[[RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil rapist]][[/note]] Snob proceeds to say that it would be like if ''Film/CannibalHolocaust'' was called "''Harsh!''" and ''Film/ISpitOnYourGrave'' "''Well Gee, That Sucks!''".
609* After [[FakeBand The Group]] are introduced, Snob notes that he would have made a joke about [[ShapedLikeItself a music group named "The Group"]] if it wasn't for the band named Music/TheBand.
610* [[CallBack In reference to other musical acts that appeared in exploitation movies]], Snob feels that "[[FakeBand The Group]]" should form a supergroup called "Fantastic Mercy and the Johnny Charros",[[note]]Fantastic Mercy and Johnny Charro being artists that appeared in previous Snob-reviewed movies ''Mr. No Legs'' and ''Another Son of Sam'', respectively[[/note]] so that they'll be picked up by the manager from the ''Blast-Off Girls''.
611* "[[ItMakesSenseInContext No one slaps the cameraman and gets away with it!]]"
612[[/folder]]
613
614[[folder:He Knows You're Alone]]
615* Given it was the first episode after Brad married Laura Luke, as soon as the Snob sees the wedding ring the "Oh no, not again" from ''Film/{{Spaceballs}}'' is dubbed over him.
616* "Caitlin O'Heaney is an actress [[UsefulNotes/ScreamQueens so known for slasher movies]] that I'm pretty sure her Website/IMDb photo is getting murdered."
617* Any of the {{Actor Allusion}}s for Creator/TomHanks:
618** The Snob mistaking a then-unknown Tom Hanks for his ''Series/BosomBuddies'' co-star, Creator/PeterScolari.
619** Explaining that "backgammon" isn't [[DoubleEntendre a euphemism for sex]]; [[Film/{{Big}} he just used a Zoltar machine to become an adult]].
620** When Elliot (Hanks' character) hears that there's a slasher in the area, Snob shows footage of Film/ForrestGump running to the end of town.
621--->'''Snob:''' Smartest slasher character ever.
622[[/folder]]
623
624[[folder:Christmas with a Capital C]]
625* Not only there is another hoodie this year (a Rudolph one!), but Snob also wears pink reindeer pajamas to match it.
626* The continuous revolt at ''another'' War on Christmas movie.
627* Snob calling out the idea that a [[UnfortunateImplications black woman would fully believe that people not being allowed to say "Merry Christmas" is an injustice in America.]]
628* The JustEatGilligan moment of the whole movie, where Snob points out that the complaints about the Christmas decorations around town can be ignored due to the nativity being protected as celebratory theism. "Okay, movie over!" *''cuts to credits''*
629* When Daniel Baldwin's character is introduced and it's almost-immediately revealed that he used to date the main character's wife, Snob does his "[X]'s gonna bang your wife, bro!" RunningGag, but this time, he does it in the most flat and devoid of amusement way possible.
630* Baldwin's characters is named Mitch Bright, leading Snob to quip that only in a War on Christmas movie would the villain be named after another word for smart.
631[[/folder]]
632
633[[folder:Santa's Christmas Elf (Named Calvin)]]
634* [[invoked]] There's a classic Cinema Snob introduction with him bitterly {{Face Palm}}ing and growling that ''this'' movie in particular [[ThisIsGonnaSuck is truly as bad/weird as it gets]], and that it will "break you" (with him also commenting that any fan who can get through this episode is a "Gold Star Snob Fan"). Sounds pretty typical, right, particularly for the various stuff featured on this web series? Well, not exactly, as cue the Snob explaining why exactly ''Santa's Christmas Elf (Named Calvin)'' is such a hard watch: ''Every shot in this 70 minute movie is a'' '''''still frame.'''''
635-->'''Cinema Snob:''' Yes, it ''has'' gotten to the point on this show where we say "Hey, at least those ''other'' movies had '''''[[DamnedByFaintPraise motion!!]]"'''''
636** Snob even makes a point to hold off on actually ''explaining'' the film's background information until the halfway point, as to give both himself and the audience a break.
637* The Snob asks why the parenthetical "(named Calvin)" was added to the title, and then proposes one that's even more pointlessly specific: ''Santa's Christmas Elf (named Calvin, [[PickyEater who isn't a huge fan of mushrooms but doesn't mind cream of mushroom soup, maybe because the mushroom pieces are so small, and the broth has a nice taste that covers the slimy and squishy texture of plain mushrooms]])''.
638* After an unnecessarily long still shot of Santa trying to get his boots on, we cut to Snob pointedly remarking that [[LeaveTheCameraRunning there's still 65 minutes left in the film]].
639** Similarly, he later bitterly remarks during the needlessly extended sequence of Calvin accidentally hijacking Santa's sleigh that 53 minutes of the movie remain.
640* And since the movie is treated like a storybook, Snob adds in his own narration over the still shots, to darkly comedic effect.
641* ''(over a shot of Santa in the middle of a pink-colored iris)'' "[[ItMakesSenseInContext Anyway, Santa's trapped in an anus]]."
642** And later, when Calvin has returned to the North Pole and is also placed in the aforementioned iris:
643--->'''Snob:''' Calvin could've spent an easy life in the States, but heh, nah, ''going back in the'' '''''anus''''' seems way more appealing!
644* ''(over a weird zoom-in on Calvin's head, showing off his bizarre hairdo)'' "Why does he (Calvin) look like ''Trump''?!"
645** Later when Calvin's on a toy plane and his hair is untouched by the wind:
646--->'''Snob:''' This scene is highly unrealistic! I've seen what [[https://imgur.com/ff1gde7 this hair]] looks like under heavy wind!
647* The Snob theorizes this movie was filmed by [[Film/FunInBalloonLand the Sea King]] due to the creepy picture of Kim (the main little girl character) sleeping in bed.
648* When Kim the little girl says that Calvin now belongs to her and they'll have so much fun, Snob knows where it's going... "[[WesternAnimation/SnoopyComeHome fundamental friend dependability!]]"
649* "The narration was provided by Dorothy Brown Green. [[SuddenlyShouting PICK A FUCKING COLOR!"]]
650** "The film was produced by ''whatever change he had in his wallet'', and directed by Barry Mahon."
651* [[invoked]] After the Christmas elves figure out Calvin was accidentally left behind at Kim's house, the next "shot" shows [[AccidentalNightmareFuel Kim and Calvin sharing an unintentionally unsettling]] HeldGaze. The Snob's narration?
652-->'''Snob:''' Calvin is busy having a staring contest; the loser's head ''[[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] [[YourHeadAsplode explodes]].''
653* When a group of kids start calling Calvin ugly when Kim takes Calvin with her to the park to play:
654-->'''Snob:''' Oh, and is the doll ugly, kids who look like a garden of ''weeds?''
655** The Snob then jokes that based on Kim's DeathGlare at the bullies, she then "realized she was a Literature/{{Firestarter}}, and ''burned the bullies alive!!''"
656* [[invoked]] ''(over two shots, the first of Kim's mother offering some food, and the second of Kim eating her dinner while giving [[AccidentalNightmareFuel an unintentionally terrifying]] DeathGlare to the camera)'' "Thanks, movie, I ''need'' a snack. Just remember, if the food isn't perfect, ''Kim is going to teleport you'' '''''[[Film/TwilightZoneTheMovie into a fucking television set!]]"'''''
657* Immediately after the above scene, the Snob (who has gotten so annoyed by the sheer lack of motion in the film) that an obvious VHS tracking error is praised as the best part of the film since it at least gives the illusion of movement.
658* "[[ItMakesSenseInContext The bullies are then distracted when they start groping each other; Kim is lured in by a member of the Manson Family, leaving Calvin to be tortured by two bullies. Santa, is still jerking off]]."
659* Evidently, as Calvin is carted off by the bullies, it appears as though the Snob has seen one too many exploitation films:
660-->'''Snob:''' And I'm fairly certain that Calvin... is gonna get ''raped''.\
661'''Narrator:''' The boys took Calvin to a large field.\
662'''Snob:''' Where is this movie ''going?!''
663* In response to Santa showing up to get Calvin... by pretending to be a donation man, telling Kim's mother that he's collecting toys for next Christmas:
664-->'''Snob:''' ''[scoffs]'' So, people just let ''anyone'' in their house in the Seventies!
665** And later, when Santa reveals himself to Kim... in a semi-creepy manner: "''Where's the cop?!''"
666* [[invoked]] The review's ending, where the Snob describes ''Santa's Christmas Elf (Named Calvin)'' as "[[TakeThat the movie equivalent of]] ''VisualNovel/PlumbersDontWearTies''." He then claims that the only possible way to "save" the film would be to place Dorothy Brown Green's [[MemeticMutation memetically weird narration]] [[CallBack from]] ''Film/FunInBalloonLand'' over ''this'' movie instead of the cutesy narration she does here.
667-->'''Cinema Snob:''' ...And even then I'm left with the feeling that the aunt from ''Film/SleepawayCamp'' is reading me a Christmas story ''straight from'' '''''Hell!''''' Say what you will about the ''rest'' of the Christmas movies we watch this year; at least they're not going to be filmed ''with a FUCKING'' '''''POLAROID!!!'''''
668[[/folder]]
669
670[[folder:The Star Wars Holiday Special Commercial Breaks]]
671* The RunningGag about [[IWantMyJetpack not having a flying car]] whenever the General Motors commercials appear.
672* When Snob acknowledges that most people associate the Holiday Special with Christmas, [[TheScrappy Gay Jesus]] from ''[[CallBack Christmas with a Capital C]]'' makes a cameo to go on another tirade.
673-->'''Snob as Gay Jesus:''' It was those damn secularists that renamed it the "Holiday Special"! Bring Christmas back to [[Franchise/StarWars a Galaxy Far, Far Away]]! [[AnnoyingLaugh Wahahahahah]]!
674* Even when reviewing commercials, Snob will always [[{{Pun}} fit in]] a [[AssShove Will It Fit?]] joke.
675-->'''Will it Fit? Host:''' On the next "Will It Fit?", we'll be drawing a line straight into my ass. We'll see what kind of tunnels this truck can fit in. Also, batteries are included, but you're not getting them back.
676* When two movie trailers appear in the commercials, Snob remarks that he'll wait for the ''WebVideo/MidnightScreenings'' for those movies, leading to ''Midnight Screenings '78'', starring 70's Brian as a non-stop PungeonMaster and 70's Brad as his JiveTurkey-spewing hypeman.
677--> ''[while reviewing ''Film/TheWildGeese'']''\
678'''70's Brian:''' These wild geese have crashed and burned long before flying south. You know, honk if you heard this one before. When it comes to this war film, less is more: Creator/RogerMoore.\
679'''70's Brad:''' Oh-ho shit, my man!\
680''[while reviewing ''Film/TheWiz'']''\
681'''70's Brian:''' This movie lacks brain and heart. You're gonna need some courage to sit through this one, but Diana Ross ''does not'' reign supreme. I give this one a Jackson zero out of fives. There is no place like a better movie.\
682'''70's Brad:''' Oh ho ho ho, good night John boy! [[YourMom Yo momma!]]
683* "Coming up next on ''WebVideo/BradTries'', Brad tries a 40-year-old ''Reggie'' bar '''''and dies!'''''" Many comments actually wanted Brad Jones to try a ''Reggie'' bar.
684** Sure enough, Jones eventually ''did'' actually try one (albeit from the 90's re-release)... and found it to be ''the worst thing he'd ever ate on the show.''
685* When he gets to a pantyhose commercial where the two women [[LesYay get excited about their new pantyhose]]:
686-->'''Snob:''' Oh, no! I think my wife is having an affair with the neighbor's wife!
687* Snob injects some modern sensibilities into a [=1970s=] news break:
688-->'''Snob:''' And since Twitter hasn't been invented yet, guess I gotta get my news from TV!\
689'''Anchorwoman:''' Soviet President Brezhnev told twelve US senators that the Soviet Union had once tested a neutron bomb, but never put it into production.\
690'''Snob:''' [[MemeticMutation FAKE NEWS!]] [[BreadAndCircuses Tell us about the neutron]] ''[[BreadAndCircuses dance!]]''
691[[/folder]]
692
693[[folder:A Christmas Kiss]]
694* The Snob's jacket is now full of [[CallBack Reggie bars because of the Star Wars Holiday Special Commercial Breaks]].
695* When the main character gets unironically "to be faired", a slowed down audio clip of [[WebVideo/{{Phelous}} Tobe Fair]] gets played.
696* The Snob wishes that [[Film/TheSlumberPartyMassacre the Ghost of Christmas Driller Killer]] would appear after the first montage.
697* The Snob sides with [[DesignatedVillain Pricilla]] after she makes a remark about Christmas music that's played before the season arrives.
698* The jokes about how creepy Charlie is.
699* After another montage featuring Christmas music, Snob splices in [[{{Squick}} the puking kid scene from]] ''Film/IfFootmenTireYouWhatWillHorsesDo''.[[labelnote:*]][[CallBack Just like he did on the review of ''Hi-Tops'']][[/labelnote]]

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