| 1 | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerd Main]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdPilots Pilots]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonOne Season One]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonTwo Season Two]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonThree Season Three]] | '''Season Four''' | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonFive Season Five]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonSix Season Six]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonSeven Season Seven]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonEight Season Eight]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonNine Season Nine]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonTen Season Ten]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonEleven Season Eleven]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonTwelve Season Twelve]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonThirteen Season Thirteen]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonFourteen Season Fourteen]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonFifteen Season Fifteen]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonSixteen Season Sixteen]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonSeventeen Season Seventeen]] | [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonEighteen Season Eighteen]] | [[Funny/AngryVideoGameNerdTheMovie The Movie]] |
| 2 | |
| 3 | [[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/vlcsnap_2021_04_05_15h33m14s409.png]] |
| 4 | [[caption-width-right:350:The Nerd in Hell.]] |
| 5 | |
| 6 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 7 | |
| 8 | ---- |
| 9 | |
| 10 | [[folder:Atari Jaguar]] |
| 11 | * The Nerd describing the "Bit Wars" and how no one really knew what bits were even then. |
| 12 | --> '''Kid''': I wanna Super Nintendo for Christmas!\ |
| 13 | '''Dad''': Don't you already have a Nintendo?\ |
| 14 | '''Kid''': Yeah, but this one's 16-bit!\ |
| 15 | '''Dad''': What's that?\ |
| 16 | '''Kid''': (''{{beat}}'') ...I dunno... |
| 17 | * The Nerd's annoyance at the blood code in ''Kasumi Ninja'': |
| 18 | --> '''AVGN''': The game itself is pretty much a ''Franchise/MortalKombat'' clone with every hit making pools of blood fall down, and even has death moves. But it's also one of those games that wimps out by censoring the violence. You have to put in a parental password just to turn the blood on. Basically, it's just a 6-digit code. But what's the chance of kids not figuring out the code before their parents do? But once it's unlocked, you still need to set the level of blood. So in case you want there to be a ''little bit of blood'', but not too much? Like, who the fuck cares? Just turn the Goddamn blood on! |
| 19 | * He describes ''Attack Of The Mutant Penguins'' as [[QuirkyWork the weirdest game he's ever played]]. |
| 20 | -->"I mean it's not ''bad'' if you're drunk or high or something, but how'd they come up with this shit?! I got it, I can come up with a game like this, how about...you're a ''shark'', and you gotta shake palm trees 'til ''trains'' fall down, and you put the trains in an ''apple'', and then turkeys come and ''eat'' the apples, and then...the turkeys go up waterfalls, and to get them down you have to collect monkey butts, so you drop the monkey butts on power lines, and then..."\ |
| 21 | [He trails off and mimes his head exploding from the sheer insanity of it all] |
| 22 | * The floating head from ''Cybermorph'' comes out of the TV and starts taunting him with "Where did YOU learn to fly? Where did YOU learn to fly?" until he blasts her with his Super Scope and [[BondOneLiner quips]], "Where'd YOU learn to be an asshole!" |
| 23 | * The entire sequence where the Jaguar cube ends up attacking the Nerd, which eventually turns into '''[[MundaneMadeAwesome the best cat chasing a laser pointer video ever produced.]]''' |
| 24 | * "We played some good games, we played some bad games, and overall... eh. Makes me wanna puke. Like a cat: (hacks and mimes throwing up, then cleaning his face with his paw)" |
| 25 | * The brilliant BrickJoke on the shape of the Jaguar with the Jaguar CD attached. The Nerd states that it looks like a toilet. Then, at the end, he announces "I've gotta take a shit"...and then he nonchalantly opens up the Jaguar CD and takes a dump in it. Best bit? His cat looks at him for a moment all what? Then it bolts. |
| 26 | * The Nerd can't review the Jaguar CD because the system doesn't even work. Cue the report from Richard (who made an NES inside of a toaster, calling it the "Nintoaster", and later made another one to give to the Nerd) when he tried (and failed) to fix it. |
| 27 | -->Aah, yes, the Atari Jaguar CD... [[PrecisionFStrike What a steaming pile of fucking shit that was]]... I wanna make sure there's nothing wrong with the console itself first just to rule it out. So I plug in a game, push the power button, the Jaguar logo comes careening towards me in the foreground, and after a particularly hilarious fucking startup sequence, I'm playing some Tempest 2000. ''Woooaaah''. So now I know there's nothing wrong with the console itself. Time to move on to the CD unit. So I plug it in, hook up the additional 47 cables that came with it, push the power button, the logo comes careening towards me in the foreground, snarrls, and... The red screen of death, indicating a connection problem. So, the first thing I did was deep clean every single contact point on both the console and the CD unit. I turned it on; red screen. Then I went back and made physical adjustments to every contact point in both the console and CD unit so they'd make a more solid connection. Turned it on; [[RuleOfThree red screen]]. Finally, I just said "fuck it" and [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill directly wired the two sons-of-bitches together, completely bypassing any and all cartridge ports and ruling out the remote chance of there ever being any kind of connection issue between the two systems]]. I turned it on and, guess what? [[SerialEscalation Red screen!]] So at this point I pretty much just gave up and shipped everything back to him, along with a Pong machine, which pretty much said "I'm sorry man. This thing is just too shitty for me to work on." I think, between the flaming-fuck-you-middle-finger-red screens, ''and'' getting snarrled at at the same time, this machine has become self-aware and does not want to be repaired. That is my diagnosis, Richard out. |
| 28 | ** Before that, the AVGN trying to fit the unit in a regular envelope with the most basic postage details ever. |
| 29 | * His description of the Jaguar CD: |
| 30 | --> '''Nerd''': Would you believe that a 30-year-old Pong console attached to a cell phone adapter would work, but a "cutting-edge", snarling Jaguar doesn't? There's something wrong here. And you know what? I blew $250 on this thing. So, you know what I did?.... Bought another one. Yeah, and guess what? It doesn't work ''either''! So, that's about $450 total I blew on two dead Jaguars. And these things are rare! So when the only two that I can manage to get my hands on just don't work, that leads me to believe that these things '''most definitely are self-aware'''! They don't wanna work! You can't make 'em! They just ''refuse'' to be reviewed! And I've never had that happen. |
| 31 | [[/folder]] |
| 32 | |
| 33 | [[folder:Metal Gear]] |
| 34 | * After saying the game is terrible: |
| 35 | --> '''Nerd''': Now if you want to rip me a new asshole, that's fine. I have, like, twelve. Yeah, I've got a Charlie Brown ghost ass. |
| 36 | ** Immediately afterwards: |
| 37 | --> '''Nerd''': And it's not just me [that thinks that the NES version of Metal Gear sucks]. [[Creator/HideoKojima Hideo Kojima]] himself said that it slurps anal grease through a warthog's dickhole! Well, he didn't say it like that..." |
| 38 | [[/folder]] |
| 39 | |
| 40 | [[folder:Magnavox Odyssey]] |
| 41 | * The Nerd controlling the flashing sprites in a fashion that looks like taking a dump. |
| 42 | * The Nerd notes that the Odyssey doesn't keep score: |
| 43 | --> '''AVGN''': It's a fucking free-for-all! |
| 44 | * The Nerd's reaction to the [[http://gaming.wikia.com/wiki/Magnavox_Odyssey_Light_Rifle lightgun]] for the Odyssey: |
| 45 | --> '''AVGN''': Well, the Odyssey doesn't fuck around! I mean, this is what you call a gun! I mean look at it, it's a gun! It's a fucking rifle! I mean, they could never get away with this nowadays! ''(points it towards the camera)'' You could never, ever... It ju-it just blows my mind that there could exist a video game console that has a gun like this! |
| 46 | [[/folder]] |
| 47 | |
| 48 | [[folder:X-Men]] |
| 49 | * His opening joke: |
| 50 | --> '''AVGN''': I remember one time in school, I had an ComicBook/XMen coloring book, and the teacher looked over and said, "Hmm. X-Men huh? There's women in there too, aren't there? That's kinda sexist." And I said, [[Film/ThisIsSpinalTap "Well, what's wrong with being sexy?"]] Nah, I didn't say that. |
| 51 | * Before popping in ''The Uncanny X-Men'': |
| 52 | --> '''AVGN''': I'm about to do the unthinkable: ''(drinks whiskey from a flask)'' I'm about to stick this abomination in my Nintendo. Rather stick your dick in a piranha's mouth! |
| 53 | * While playing ''Wolverine'', his observation that one of the power-ups looks like a beer bottle. This leads him to say: "It's an X-Men Barbecue: Burgers and beer." |
| 54 | ** Before that, while playing ''The Uncanny X-Men'', he sees an invincibility power-up that appears from defeating his foes: |
| 55 | --->'''AVGN:''' [[HyperactiveMetabolism Is that a hot dog on a bun? More like a pig on a blanket.]] |
| 56 | * '''AVGN:''' [[{{Pun}} Don't mean to burst your bubble, huh-huh!]] |
| 57 | [[/folder]] |
| 58 | |
| 59 | [[folder:The Terminator]] |
| 60 | * The episode begins with a POV from the Nerd, his vision the same as the Terminator's. When Search Mode locates the Terminator game, a list of responses appear to describe the game's quality. The Nerd chooses the most profane option, naturally. Adding to the humor, not a single option is positive. |
| 61 | --> '''AVGN''': What a piece of fucking dog shit! |
| 62 | * The Nerd comments that the only way to get extra lives is to repeatedly shoot the endlessly spawning bad guys until you get a lot of points. Rather than do it manually, he grabs a wrench and fastens it to the shoot button. He proudly declares: "You don't gotta do a damn thing!... I'll be back." When he returns, he's happy to see he has six lives, so he's going to bed and let the game rack up even more 1-ups. |
| 63 | --> '''AVGN''': Make me have to put a wrench on a controller; [[Film/AmericanMovie is that what you wanna do with your life? It's senseless! But that's what happens, man.]] |
| 64 | ** The Nerd's reaction to the maximum lives cap. |
| 65 | -->"Alright I'm back, all refreshed ready to play some more Terminator with all new extra lives. All 6 of them...6? Only 6!? OK, I got to be honest, it's only one digit; I didn't expect more than 9, but why a random number like 6!? That means that some fucked-up masochist actually programmed it that way and made the decision 'Hmmm, well let's see. Anything more than 6, that's too much.' [[ClusterFBomb Fucking asshole!]]" |
| 66 | * His reaction to the first level of the SNES ''Terminator'' going for a really long time, even after what seems like the level boss: |
| 67 | --> '''Nerd''': What. Are you fucking kidding me? Holy mother and fucking God shit holy mackerel gosh damn, how is it not over yet?! How long could this first level possibly go? Unless maybe the whole game is like this. I just can't fucking believe it! So, I died, like anybody would. Game Over. First level goes on forever. Can't beat it. End of story. The game's impossible. |
| 68 | ** What's really funny about this rant is he doesn't sound angry necessarily. He sounds more tired and defeated. |
| 69 | ** Due to how hard the level is, he says that the most unrealistic part of the film is how Kyle and John could survive all that, [[SarcasmMode but the time travel is believable]]. |
| 70 | * Comparing the rocking Sega CD soundtrack to the abysmal NES "soundtrack". |
| 71 | [[/folder]] |
| 72 | |
| 73 | [[folder:Terminator 2: Judgment Day]] |
| 74 | * A few bits on ''Terminator 2'' SNES: |
| 75 | ** The demo is the nude Terminator walking to the bar. His midsection is [[SceneryCensor blocked by various objects in foreground]]. As much as the Nerd hates [[Creator/LJNToys LJN]], he is forced to admit its ActuallyPrettyFunny. |
| 76 | ** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmq6bCVD4V8&t=9m40s When he makes the Terminator jump]]: |
| 77 | --> '''Nerd''': What is ''that'' good for? It's like he's a marionette, or he's being hanged by an invisible rope! Like, holy Lord, that is some fuck right there! Look at him go! Wooo wooo! (chuckling) Oh, God. I can't see the reasoning behind it. You can't ''make'' something that funny by accident. They took someone as badass as the Terminator and made him into a mockery. It's a fucking joke! And I'm not just doing this to be funny; it's because of how slow he walks. The only way to go faster is to hop around like a fucking idiot! |
| 78 | ** When driving the motorcycle, he crashes into a truck: |
| 79 | --> '''Nerd''': Oh, man, a head on collision with a truck and a motorcycle, and the ''truck'' explodes! |
| 80 | [[/folder]] |
| 81 | |
| 82 | [[folder:Transformers]] |
| 83 | * The Nerd attempting to walk to his couch while holding the Famicom's controller only to knock the system over accidentally because of how short said controller's cord is, forcing him to sit on the floor with a grumpy look on his face. |
| 84 | * His detailed simile about the terrible hit detection in ''Transformers: Convoy no Nazo''. |
| 85 | --> "Hitting your mark is like trying to piss into a shot glass that's spinning on a record player, that's strapped to a running cheetah's back, while you're riding a unicycle on a tightrope blindfolded." |
| 86 | * His bemused reaction to the C64 game featuring a level that inexplicably has a T-rex attacking a space shuttle. |
| 87 | [[/folder]] |
| 88 | |
| 89 | [[folder:Mario Is Missing]] |
| 90 | * Upon discovering ''Mario is Missing'' is educational: |
| 91 | --> '''Nerd''': I don't wanna be educated, I wanna rot my brain! |
| 92 | * The Nerd's reaction to ''King Kong'' appearing in Mario Is Missing. |
| 93 | -->'''Nerd''': What's this say? "Koopas seem to have gotten clean away with King Kong?" Are you telling me you're supposed to return King Kong to the Empire State Building?! This blows my mind on so many levels! First of all, how did the Koopas capture King Kong? Second, why is New York City concerned that King Kong was stolen from the Empire State Building? Remember when the planes were trying to shoot him down? Isn't it pretty clear they want Kong ''off'' the building? Third, if this is supposed to be an educational game teaching us things that belong to New York City, WHY IN THE HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK DID THEY CHOOSE A GIANT APE THAT DOESN'T EVEN EXIST?!! Fourth... the bag. OK, King Kong is, like, 50 feet tall or something, but in this game they made him out to be, like, 1500 feet. How big is he exactly? Well, if bigger than the Empire State Building isn't a good enough analogy, then let's just say, A LOT BIGGER THAN THAT FUCKING BAG! And fifth, I can't grasp the concept that King Kong is in a Mario game, the same character that was a direct inspiration for Donkey Kong who also appeared in games with the Mario character. Are we running into some kind of paradox here or what? |
| 94 | * The Help Desk Lady. |
| 95 | -->'''Nerd''': There's sort of like a help desk where you're supposed to return the object or the landmark or whatever, but the lady at the window won't talk to you unless you call Yoshi to come and give you an extra boost. Okay, so are you telling me that the reason that stupid bitch won't talk to you at first is because Luigi is too short to reach the window? For fuck's sake, he can jump higher than the shittin' thing! How stupid do they think we are?! "Use Yoshi to reach the help desk" well how about "Use my greasy Italian plumber cock to whack you across the fucking face?!" |
| 96 | [[/folder]] |
| 97 | |
| 98 | [[folder:Plumbers Don't Wear Ties]] |
| 99 | * The. Entire. Video. [[{{Angrish}} His reaction]] to the '''upside-down fucking chicken mask''' is probably the absolute pinnacle of his entire videography. |
| 100 | * "Oh, so is he a plumber? Well, the game's called ''Plumbers Don't Wear Ties'', so I guess it makes sense. [[TemptingFate He's a plumber and I don't see him wearing a tie]]." ''(Screen shows John [[HypocriticalHumor wearing a tie while holding a plunger]].)'' "What the '''fuck?!''' [[NeverTrustATitle You can't even trust the damn title!]]" |
| 101 | * This moment: |
| 102 | --> '''Narrator Number 2''': Finally got rid of that obnoxious character. And that horrible music!\ |
| 103 | '''AVGN''': No kidding! At least the game's self aware. |
| 104 | * His rant at the end of the video. |
| 105 | -->'''Nerd:''' "Yeah, you know what? Give me somethin' different. Give me a different fuckin' game! This is one of the worst things I have ever seen in my life. On the box, it says 'Plays like a game...but feels like a movie!' Well, that's horseshit! It does ''not'' play like a game, and it certainly does not feel like a movie. It's a slideshow that verges on being softcore porn. But it isn't that either! It's like some kind of experimental art project. If I just made a bunch of shit and threw all kinds of filters on it, that would be the same as this miserable pile of fuck. [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment It would also be the same to go take a shit on a piece of toast on top of a roof while wearing a fish mask singing 'I'm Too Sexy.'"]] |
| 106 | ** Complete with the crazy filtering found in the game's beginning, as well as pictures of random bears including a panda. |
| 107 | * When John and Jane first meet: |
| 108 | -->'''John:''' Wow... [[DoubleEntendre It's 8 o'clock and I'm seein' a 10! What I wouldn't give to do her plumbing...]]\ |
| 109 | '''AVGN:''' Yeah, OK.\ |
| 110 | ''(A few seconds pass with John and Jane just staring at each other)''\ |
| 111 | '''AVGN:''' OK.\ |
| 112 | ''(A few more seconds pass with John and Jane STILL staring at each other)''\ |
| 113 | '''AVGN:''' O-Kay?\ |
| 114 | ''(John and Jane are STILL staring at each other)''\ |
| 115 | '''AVGN:''' What the fuck... |
| 116 | * When the narrator pops up again. |
| 117 | -->'''Narrator:''' Well, sport? You think you can handle this choice without getting the lowest score in the history of this game? |
| 118 | -->'''AVGN:''' What, there's somebody else who played this shit? |
| 119 | * His rant on the title screen: |
| 120 | -->'''AVGN:''' You can't be serious. It looks like a kindergarten student did this in Microsoft Paint. And listen to the stock music. *music plays* This has to be the worst title screen I've ever seen. |
| 121 | * This scene: |
| 122 | -->'''AVGN:''' We haven't even gone through the credits, and this game is already a pile of monkey fuck. *car noise plays, then a face-packed aged woman appears* Okay... what's this? *phone rings while screen fades away* What's going on? |
| 123 | * As well as this scene: |
| 124 | -->'''Narrator:''' Note, you must be 18 years or over in order to take a look at this decision. |
| 125 | -->'''AVGN:''' "You gotta be 18? On the box it says 17! This is before the rating system, but what kinda fucked up rating is this? The box says 17, but for this one part, you gotta be 18." |
| 126 | * This scene: |
| 127 | -->'''John's Mother:''' It's your mother, now get your ass outta bed! I know you're there, John! John? I said get up, get up, John! |
| 128 | -->'''AVGN:''' "Get outta bed, Jooohn. Get outta beeeed!" Yeah, great concept. [[GoodMorningCrono Every game should begin with two minutes of some guy's mom trying to get him out of bed.]] |
| 129 | ** And then this scene: |
| 130 | --->'''John's Mother:''' Stop smartmouthing with me, young man! Why is it I haven't seen you with any woman? Why is that, John? Don't you like women anymore? *shocked* John, are you gay? |
| 131 | --->'''AVGN:''' (incredulous) ''What?!'' |
| 132 | * During the interview: |
| 133 | --> '''Thresher''': You know, we get at least 200 qualified applicants for every position here. It's those people who do that little ''extra'' thing; ''they're'' the ones who [[FreudianSlip get head]]- I mean, get ahead.\ |
| 134 | '''AVGN''': Oh, what a bad joke. It doesn't even have any relevance now, he just told her to take off her clothes! He might as well say straight out "suck my cock"! |
| 135 | * The Nerd dubs in the boss's voice when Jane strips for him: |
| 136 | --> '''Nerd''': (as the boss) Wow, I had no idea she'd actually ''do'' it! |
| 137 | * The Nerd's reaction to hearing dogs clap after the narrator guns down the takeover artist. |
| 138 | --> '''AVGN''': Are there dogs applauding? I'm not imagining that, am I? There's dogs clapping! I didn't even know dogs were fucking watching! |
| 139 | * AVGN's face when Jane strips for Thresher, whips him and stands above him rodeo-style, all in that order. It's one of the most priceless expressions he's ever made. |
| 140 | -->'''AVGN''': What kind of fucked up game is this?! |
| 141 | * The Nerd increasingly losing his patience as the replacement narrator goes back over the previous choices and scolds him for them, which the original narrator had already done. |
| 142 | -->'''Narrator Number 2:''' These are the most disgusting series of plot choices I have ever seen! |
| 143 | -->'''Nerd:''' (sounding bored) Yeah, I get it. |
| 144 | -->'''Narrator Number 2:''' You deserve every minus point that you have gotten and even more! |
| 145 | -->'''Nerd:''' (irritated) I get it! |
| 146 | -->'''Narrator Number 2:''' I don't believe it! How could you make these choices!? |
| 147 | -->'''Nerd:''' (more irritated) Enough already! |
| 148 | -->'''Narrator Number 2:''' Were you raised in a barn!? |
| 149 | -->'''Nerd:''' (thoroughly impatient) Could they possibly drag this out any longer!? |
| 150 | * The Nerd's frustration that a "game" with such bare-bones interactivity ''still'' managed to find a way to mess up the controls. When selecting multiple choices, the player has to wait for the narrator to stop talking before they can select another choice, but the Nerd says he initially thought the D-Pad was broken. He introduces the problem in a YouWouldntBelieveMeIfIToldYou tone. |
| 151 | -->'''Nerd:''' What makes it even worse is, er... the control. |
| 152 | * His reaction to the game showing him a montage of Jane and John doing mundane things. Specifically, his reaction to John dropping off his mail. |
| 153 | -->'''AVGN:''' ''Come on''. Why is that important? |
| 154 | [[/folder]] |
| 155 | |
| 156 | [[folder:Bugs Bunny's Crazy Castle]] |
| 157 | * Some of the ways Bugs gets payback for the Nerd's abuse two years before. |
| 158 | --> '''Nerd''': Oh, come on, I thought toons like to get beat up.\ |
| 159 | '''Bugs Bunny''': We do, doc. But you know what we ''don't'' like? Getting shit on ''the FUCKIN' '''FACE!!!''' ''\ |
| 160 | '''Nerd''': That was two years ago!\ |
| 161 | '''Bugs Bunny''': Well now it's your turn, '''DOC!''' |
| 162 | ** Bugs' turds are obviously chocolate donut holes, which resemble rabbit pellets. |
| 163 | * The DuckSeasonRabbitSeason gag when the Nerd refuses to play the sequel, complete with "Sucker" superimposed as he realizes his mistake. |
| 164 | * Bugs attacks the Nerd with a sling shot, lands a drop kick on him and then gives the Nerd an overhead throw which causes him to crash into the couch...much to the anger and confusion of the Guitar Guy. |
| 165 | --> '''Guitar Guy''': You damn, Nintendo Dork! You broke my fucking couch!\ |
| 166 | '''Nerd''': Cause of this fucking bunny. What he'd go to? Bugs Bunny boot camp? |
| 167 | * Later on with the Guitar Guy as he tries to convince him to keep fighting. |
| 168 | --> '''Guitar Guy''': Come on, get him! He's the one that broke the couch.\ |
| 169 | '''Nerd''': Well, technically it's a futon.\ |
| 170 | '''Guitar Guy''': I don't care what it is! Get em! Boil those bunny balls! |
| 171 | * The scene in which the Guitar Guy joins in the fight, resulting in the three of them completely missing their targets and punching each other. |
| 172 | * James' [[http://cinemassacre.com/2009/08/20/a-funny-outtake-and-new-avgn-coming-very-soon/ outtakes]] for the review, in which he, and everybody around him, simply cannot stop laughing at the lines that [[ActuallyPrettyFunny he himself wrote]]. Doubles as a SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome when he finally says the line in one take at the end. |
| 173 | --> "Alright. That's it. I'm done with this game. I'd rather press my face against a hippopotamus's butt while its muck spreads! That's when a hippo takes a shit: rather than allowing the shit to drop from its anus, it presses its tail against its ass crack, waving it back and forth, shredding the shit all over the place! That's as much fun as this game is, like putting a turd in a fan or a band saw. You just don't do it!" |
| 174 | ** Bonus points for one of James's friends trying to say that line in his British accent. |
| 175 | * Then there's just the overall implication that being exposed to the Nerd and his abuse has driven a beloved American icon violently insane with rage. |
| 176 | * When talking about "Crazy Castle 4" and how hard it is to review: |
| 177 | --> '''Nerd''': It's like trying to review a pink Porcupine with a Monkey's head up its butt eating a Buffalo's ballsack. Should I describe what it looks like and analyze it? Or should I just be so fucking shocked the thing even exists? |
| 178 | * Nerd finally having enough of Bugs Bunny and trying to jam a carrot into his mouth, getting some good punches in as he insults Bugs for being obsessed with carrots. As Bugs retaliates with an anvil gag, Nerd is stunned with floating Tweety Birds... that he starts to swat away. |
| 179 | * Just as the Nerd seems to do a fade out of "That's all folks," Bugs Bunny interrupts him and punches him in the face, dragging the insane fight out even longer, complete with "Ehhh, of course you realize, this means war, '''Bitch!'''! What follows is Bugs giving a beatdown on the "MOTHERFUCKING NERD!" with the Nerd getting his ass handed to him. |
| 180 | * The homage to ''Film/{{Commando}}'' when Bugs starts slamming the Nerd's head up against the wall and taunting: "You're a dead man" before the latter gets his second wind and actually begins to do some damage. |
| 181 | -->'''Nerd:''' (''in response to Bugs' taunting'') [[PreAsskickingOneLiner Bull]]''[[PreAsskickingOneLiner shit]]''! |
| 182 | * Then, there's the fight's conclusion. Bugs attempts to kill the Nerd with a bomb, only for the latter to put him in a headlock while he's setting it down, allowing the bomb to kill them both. |
| 183 | -->'''Nerd:''' Oh, I don't give a fuck! [[TakingYouWithMe I'm taking you with me]]! Oh, you like to play with bombs, huh? Well, ''bombs away'' you Woody bunny fuckin' pecker piece of shit! (''explosion'') |
| 184 | [[/folder]] |
| 185 | |
| 186 | [[folder:Super Pitfall!]] |
| 187 | * "Let's play charades. [[VideoGame/{{Pitfall}} Who]] am I?" ''(Mimics Harry's walk and bizarre death animation.)'' |
| 188 | * Annoyed by the death-trap at the start of the game, the Nerd begins listing ways to make it even worse |
| 189 | -->'''The Nerd:''' "[[SarcasmMode Nice! Fuckin' beautiful.]] The first ladder you see drops you into a pit where you get killed by a bird or a bat, whatever it is. And even if it wasn't there, I'd fall in the spikes. So it's basically death insurance. Let's put every kind of obstacle we can possibly think of in the very beginning of the game. Y'know, I'm disappointed. [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill Couldn't there have been lava on top of the spikes, with fire-sharks swimming in it? Couldn't there be more spikes coming from the sides, ready to close in and squash me while stabbing at the same time? How 'bout some laser cannons, and upside-down volcanoes?]] You wanna be even more efficient? Why even have the ladder? Why not just start the game falling down the pit? *''Cue all the previous mentioned appearing in an elaborate Photoshopped image''* Fuckin' assholes!" |
| 190 | ** And you wanna know something even more amazing? This overkill death trap was featured in ''VideoGame/TheAngryVideoGameNerdAdventures''. |
| 191 | * The Nerd is baffled by Harry's death animation (where Harry flips out), and offers a theory: |
| 192 | --> '''AVGN''': My only theory of what's going on here is that there's an Angel and a Devil waitin' to take him to either Heaven or Hell. It's first-come, first-serve, and they both want him REAL BAD, so they're constantly there waiting for him to die. And then as soon as he dies, they both grab his arms, fighting over his body. |
| 193 | ** Later, the Nerd encounters a glitch where Harry doesn't die right away; he's frozen and a few seconds later, the usual death animation plays. He theorizes that the devil and angel were busy looking for him that time. |
| 194 | * "Playing this game is like driving [[TheAllegedCar an old beat-up car]]. You're always afraid it's gonna break down." |
| 195 | * "[[ViolationOfCommonSense THERE'S A WARP ZONE HIDDEN IN A BIRD!]]" |
| 196 | * The Nerd names each of Pitfall Harry's different-colored glitch-clones "Pitfall Larry" and "Pitfall Gary". |
| 197 | * The Nerd wonders why he has to collect keys shaped like playing card suits: |
| 198 | -->"I found the princess[[note]]actually Harry's niece Rhonda[[/note]]...does he need to play poker with her or something?" |
| 199 | [[/folder]] |
| 200 | |
| 201 | [[folder:Godzilla]] |
| 202 | * When the Nerd finds out what the Platform/GameBoy ''Godzilla'' game [[SuperDeformed actually looks like]] in gameplay after the promising opening credits... |
| 203 | ** Likewise his incredulous reaction when he finds out that Godzilla 2 barely even resembles the first game and does not even feel like a Godzilla game at all. |
| 204 | * After spending the entire video complaining about the Godzilla games he played as a kid, he gets to play [[VideoGame/PipeworksGodzillaTrilogy a trio of Xbox and PS2 games]]. His expressions are just priceless, not to mention his unstoppable rage and heartfelt "FUCK!!" after he sees how much better the modern games are than the ones he grew up with. Cue the Nerd knocking down SNES games Godzilla-style as the scream goes on in the background, [[ClusterFBomb swearing up a storm]], and [[BrokeTheRatingScale inventing a new swear that's]] [[SoundEffectBleep bleeped out]]. |
| 205 | ** For those of you interested, here's a video of the aforementioned "new swear word" invention... [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGD43KPBFZc UNCENSORED.]] |
| 206 | --->'''Nerd''': Why couldn't I have those games when I was a kid!? Goddammit, I was born too fucking early! Instead I had to grow up with these miserable pieces of shit-fucking anal jugs! These games suck Baragon's sweaty ball sack! I'd rather get an electric shock from sucking Mechagodzilla's mechanical wiener! These games are SHIT drizzling out of the Smog Monster's rancid putrid A-hole! And then being swallowed and barfed up by Angarus while I lay on spikes getting Gigan's buzzsaw up my ass WHILE DESUTOROYAH DUMPS HIS DIABOLICAL DIARRHEA ALL OVER MY FACE! Man, it's just a bunch of fuck, it's a pile of cunt, fuck, shit, fuck... cunt... fuck... Goddammit! I just said "fuck" from the bottom of my heart and I said every curse that there is. There's nothing left, so you know what? Somebody's gotta invent a new curse word. I think I got it. This game, THESE FUCKING GAMES ARE... '''''SCUNT!''''' Oh yeah! It's ''that'' bad! |
| 207 | [[/folder]] |
| 208 | |
| 209 | [[folder:Wayne's World]] |
| 210 | * The various ''Wayne's World'' film clips to accompany the Nerd's comments: |
| 211 | ** "And could you guess the boss in this level? Would you expect anything different than...a giant donut?" (Wayne laughs sarcastically) |
| 212 | ** "The enemies are the most cliche you could possibly think of. When would Wayne and Garth ever be fighting spiders and ninjas? Who cares, right? As long as the game says ''Wayne's World'', kids will want it!" ("Kids know dick.") |
| 213 | ** "Well, I can't beat the first level, so I'm done with this game!......well, there is a code." ("I did not realize that. Russell, did you realize that?" "No, I did not realize that.") |
| 214 | ** "Every time he gets hit, he says "NOT". That doesn't make any sense. What is he saying "not" to? Usually, the word "not" follows a sarcastic statement. It's like explaining it to Film/{{Borat}}!" ("This suit, is ''noooooottt'' black." "No no, "not" has to be the end." "This suit is blacknot.") |
| 215 | [[/folder]] |
| 216 | |
| 217 | [[folder:Castlevania]] |
| 218 | * His thoughts on "fuckness": |
| 219 | --> "What in the unholy name of ''ass'' is ''this'' fuckness?! Oh wait, that's not a word? Well, it ''should'' be." |
| 220 | * The way he shifts from celebratory gloating back to complaining after he realizes that he still has to get the orb: |
| 221 | -->"Oh, you're gonna replenish my health right after I beat the game? ''[[SarcasmMode Thank you so much]]''. |
| 222 | * The end credits scene, with it's horrible attempt at NoCelebritiesWereHarmed. |
| 223 | ** Bonus points for the fact that the Nerd is [[HypocriticalHumor clearly smirking]] when he talks about how unfunny this is. |
| 224 | * At the end of Part I, he talks about reviewing ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaIIIDraculasCurse'', a certain box pops up: [[VideoGame/CastlevaniaIISimonsQuest "What a horrible night to have a curse."]] |
| 225 | --> ("Monster Dance," the ''Castlevania II'' Night Music starts playing) |
| 226 | --> '''Nerd''': Not that one. Next on our list is Castlevania III, which in many ways is the true follow-up- |
| 227 | --> ("Monster Dance" starts playing) |
| 228 | --> '''Nerd''': No, I already reviewed that game! So anyway- |
| 229 | --> ("Monster Dance" Night Music starts playing) |
| 230 | --> '''Nerd''': No. |
| 231 | --> ("Monster Dance" Night Music starts playing) |
| 232 | --> '''Nerd''': Stop. |
| 233 | --> ("Monster Dance" Night Music starts playing) |
| 234 | --> '''Nerd''': Stop! |
| 235 | --> ("Monster Dance" Night Music starts playing) |
| 236 | --> '''Nerd''': [[RuleOfThree STOP!]] |
| 237 | * This bit in his ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaIIIDraculasCurse'' review: |
| 238 | --> '''Nerd''': How 'bout the floor? Let's make the floor a death trap too! Okay, that's fine, if you wanna play shit like that, but how in the holy goddamn mother shit fucking Christ of cunt fuck am I supposed to attack the enemy when the fucking floor's falling down! Did the game developers expect you to be some kinda miracle multitasker?! |
| 239 | * From the outtakes at the end of the Part 2 video: |
| 240 | --> '''Nerd''': This game is like playing shit tennis with an orangutan while having a hyena's head up your ass! ({{Beat}}) ...Or ''your'' head up ''its'' ass! And... (cracks up) |
| 241 | * Most likely unintentional, but saying Carrie in ''VideoGame/Castlevania64'' was like a school girl, with the game footage where Carrie is saying "Don't treat me like a child." |
| 242 | * The Nerd commenting on the ridiculous of Simon Belmont eating Pork Chops found by whipping walls open and admitting it would be cool if whipping the wall would do that in real life. |
| 243 | * Finding out that Bram Stoker's ''Dracula'' novel was canon with the games according to ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaBloodlines'': |
| 244 | --> "It's like taking two cannons and putting them together!" |
| 245 | ** Complete with the image of two cannons together and launching at the same time. |
| 246 | * The Nerd gets a good look at the Nova Skeletons from ''[[VideoGame/CastlevaniaSymphonyOfTheNight Symphony of the Night]]'': |
| 247 | --> "What are these, skeletons shooting lasers out their cocks?" |
| 248 | * At the file select screen, in a completely nonchalant tone: |
| 249 | --> "Analbag, that's me." |
| 250 | * Noting that when you beat ''SOTN'', you have to play the game again but the castle is upside down. Cut to the Nerd playing the game upside down. |
| 251 | * When discussing ''VideoGame/CastlevaniaDawnOfSorrow'': |
| 252 | --> '''AVGN''': Dracula's castle emerges from a solar eclipse in Japan. I thought that Japan had enough trouble with Franchise/{{Godzilla}} stomping around, now they have Dracula, too? |
| 253 | [[/folder]] |
| 254 | |
| 255 | [[folder:Little Red Hood]] |
| 256 | * Little Red Riding Hood's story, according to this game: |
| 257 | --> '''AVGN''': You're familiar with the story, right? It goes something like this: Once upon a time, there was a girl named Little Red Riding Hood. She liked to jump in the air and whistle out her vagina. She kicked at trees until Big Bird's ballsack would appear. What? That's not the story? Oh, well excuse me, cause this isn't ''Little Red Riding Hood''. This is ''Little Red Hood''. |
| 258 | * The Nerd mentions that the only way to play this (unlicensed) game on an original NES is to attach a licensed cartridge to it. The game doesn't need this to run in toploader, but he decides it "looks lonely", and proceeds to stack several other things on top like a Game Genie, a game converter, and a Famicom game. |
| 259 | * The Nerd's reaction to Level 8: |
| 260 | -->'''Nerd:''' ...In this stage, the key doesn't appear until you buy an invincibility potion and three slingshots. ''(beat)'' [[GuideDangIt HOW WOULD ANYBODY KNOW TO DO THAT]]?! |
| 261 | * After summarizing the extremely weird gameplay mechanics and story elements: |
| 262 | -->'''Nerd:''' The only thing you might be wondering now is, "What on earth does this have to do with the story of Literature/LittleRedRidingHood?" Well, I'll tell you: '''absolutely fucking nothing'''. |
| 263 | * The reference to ''Film/{{Ghostbusters 1984}}'' when the Nerd gets angry at the key disappearing: |
| 264 | --> '''Nerd''': I feel like a guinea pig in an experiment where they're testing the effects of negative reinforcement, "let's see what happens if we take the key away..." It's twenty years late, but whoever you are, and if you wanna know what the effect is, I'll tell you the effect: ''IT'S FUCKING PISSING ME OFF!'' |
| 265 | * "The music never changes. It's the same frothy sound of crackling ass!" *cue regular 8-bit music* |
| 266 | * The ending is particularly hilarious. The Nerd gets so frustrated with the game that he actually wants to see a terrible ending to the game. And sure enough, [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor he gets one]]: |
| 267 | --> '''Nerd''': Oh, my dear Little Red Hood, [[AWinnerIsYou thank you for your coming]]. ''(beat, he drops his controller on the ground)'' You did not disappoint. ''([[INeedAFreakingDrink takes a sip of his Rolling Rock]])'' |
| 268 | [[/folder]] |
| 269 | |
| 270 | [[folder:Winter Games]] |
| 271 | * The Nerd's greeting at the beginning: |
| 272 | --> '''Nerd:''' Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, happy... everybody, happy holidays! And if [[TheScrooge you have a problem with "Happy holidays"]], [[PreemptiveShutUp then happy shut-the-fuck-up.]] |
| 273 | * When he comments on the name problems: |
| 274 | -->"The name entry screen is a disaster. You can't move the cursor up or down. It only goes left and right. Isn't that fun?! Not to mention, they only let you spell four-letter words, which I could think of plenty, but how many names would have less than four letters? If you tried to add a fifth letter, it goes back and replaces the first letter, then you gotta figure out how to start over. When it reaches the last letter, why couldn't it just stop?! The simplest thing to do is to type in all A's, then go left once to get to the end button. Because, why put in a name anyway? It's not like the game is gonna save it. But if it did, I guarantee most of the high scores will belong to 'AAAA.' The point is, how hard is it to program something as simple as a name entry screen? If they can't even get that right, then WOAH! Wait 'til you see the game!" |
| 275 | * The Nerd is dumbfounded when he finds out one of the events is called "Hot Dog Aerials". Then he wonders where the title came from and has an ImagineSpot of a Hot Dog flying and then a Chihuahua on fire flying over, the Nerd then just shrugs in confusion. |
| 276 | * The obnoxious "end of event" music. |
| 277 | --> '''Nerd''': Isn't that the most beautiful, radiant sound that has ever been blessed upon your soul? Its exuberant tonality harmoniously blends the dying squeals of electronic goats, with the melodic rapture of diarrhea bubbling from a coyote's crap-hole. |
| 278 | * At the end, the Nerd disposes of the cartridge by doing everything the warning label says not to: shoves it in his oven and freezer, runs water over it, pours alcohol into the component side, smashes it with a hammer, throws it to the floor, and takes it apart. As a final coup de grace, he burns it in his fireplace like a yule log. |
| 279 | -->"BURN, MOTHERFUCKER, BURN!" |
| 280 | * "Who programmed this game? Maybe it was Fred Fuchs!" |
| 281 | * When ranting about the game's terrible controls, he imagines that whenever other fictional characters are depicted playing video games and doing nothing but ButtonMashing (such as the scene in ''Film/TheWizard'' with Beau Bridges and Christian Slater's characters playing ''VideoGame/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles1989''), they're actually playing ''Winter Games''. |
| 282 | [[/folder]] |
| 283 | |
| 284 | [[folder:Street Fighter 2010]] |
| 285 | * The beginning of the episode, where the Nerd walks out to get his mail and finds that he now lives in ''Street Fighter 2010''. |
| 286 | -->'''Nerd:''' What the hell's all this shit?! There's metallic sea sponges everywhere! There's titanium rocket jock straps! Headless parrots with bottle caps! Floating eyeballs entrapped in glass lids! How is this all happening? |
| 287 | * The Nerd can't wait to play ''Street Fighter 2010'': |
| 288 | --> '''Nerd''': Let's take a look at this, I can only imagine. We're gonna be Tiger Uppercutting through space and time. We're gonna be throwing Sonic Booms on the moon. Hadoukens up Uranus, this is ''Street Fighter 2010''! |
| 289 | * Putting sound effects and music from ''VideoGame/StreetFighterII'' over gameplay of ''Street Fighter 2010'' in a vain attempt to make it feel like the former, only to [[LettingTheAirOutOfTheBand let the air out of the band]] when it fails. |
| 290 | ** Even funnier is the fact that this makes ''Street Fighter 2010'' a rare exception to [[MemeticMutation Guile's Theme Goes With Everything]]. |
| 291 | * The revelation that it was only the U.S. release that changed the protagonist's name to Ken and added a reference to ''Street Fighter'' in the opening dialog. |
| 292 | --> '''Nerd''': So you're telling me the Japanese version had ''less'' to do with Street Fighter? As in ''nothing?!'' |
| 293 | * When he's confused as to why the Platform/TurboGrafx16 port of ''Street Fighter'' is called ''Fighting Street'', he also notes that the cover (with Mount Rushmore in the background) means "you get to play such classic characters as Ryu, UsefulNotes/GeorgeWashington, and [[UsefulNotes/AbrahamLincoln Abe Lincoln]]." |
| 294 | * The Nerd gets to play ''VideoGame/StreetFighterI''. His thoughts: "And guess what? It sucks ass." |
| 295 | ** When he hears the "voice acting", he starts mocking it by imitating the adults from ''WesternAnimation/CharlieBrown''. |
| 296 | * "Street Fighter: The Good Edition". |
| 297 | * Just the way he says that ''VideoGame/StreetFighterTheMovie: The Game'' is "one of the stupidest ideas I ever heard". |
| 298 | * "You press ''down''. [[PunctuatedForEmphasis To shoot. Diagonally. Up.]]" |
| 299 | * When playing ''Street Fighter 2010'', he gets cornered by some enemies on a climbable wall, leading to this comment: |
| 300 | --> '''Nerd''': I'm getting murdered! I'm getting buttfucked up the ''dick''!!! |
| 301 | * Upon seeing the last level's second boss (who's named [[TomTheDarkLord Brian]] by the way): |
| 302 | -->'''Nerd:''' Then, it's ''this'' fuckbrain. |
| 303 | * The Nerd's rant on the last level is pretty great, just from the delivery. |
| 304 | --> '''Nerd''': It's the most heartless and abominable end stage ever programmed. What you get here is an endurance round. You have to fight three bosses, and then go on to a final boss, who has two different forms. All on one single life. You die once, you go back. First, it's this fucking clam-shaped thing. Then it's this fuckbrain. Then these two disappearing mummified armadillo robots in a room that randomly spouts fire all about. On top of trying to stay alive, you have to do it all before the time runs out. Oh look, I beat him, and the time's still going! Come on, come on, I gotta get to the final boss! Yes! I made it! Two seconds to spare! Then you get a cutscene. There's no way anyone's gonna bother to read this. Your heart is pounding so fast, and you're ripping your hair out of your head wondering "what the fuck am I gonna have to fight now?" I'm at the final boss, what is it, what is it? ''[The timer runs out.]'' WHAT?!? The fucking time limit??? You'd think that after the cutscene, the timer would start over, but NO! You fight the three bosses, then it's the cutscene, then you fight two forms of the final boss. So that's basically five bosses in total, all on the same life bar, and the same time limit. You get unlimited continues, so there's no excuse to shut off the game, you just keep playing and playing and playing. Eventually you start to get good at it! You can blow through these bosses taking as little damage as possible, but then the time always runs out! So you do it real fast, but then you end up getting killed! Then, you start to go through a phase, where you get so frustrated that all the skill you've accumulated starts to weaken, so instead of getting better, you actually start to get worse, because you've been playing the same fucking thing over and over. The final boss looks like a big, blistering ballsack that swallowed Grimace. His only weak spot is the face. The ideal strategy is to climb on the wall and keep shooting, but your beam doesn't reach. Not without full power-ups! You can try jumping off and shooting, but that takes too long! You don't have time! When you're plowing through the stage, you gotta stop and get all the powerups. But that wastes time too! But you gotta do it! You gotta ''somehow make it all happen!'' You can't beat one boss flawlessly but then fuck up a little on the next one. You gotta: 1) Beat all the bosses without getting hurt too much, 2) Get all the power-ups, and 3) Do it fast as shit, all in one perfect run! But once you do it, man, you're on the fucking top of the world! Yeah, boom, BOOM! ''(Makes explosion noises.)'' |
| 305 | [[/folder]] |
| 306 | |
| 307 | [[folder:Hydlide]] |
| 308 | * After ranting about ''VideoGame/{{Hydlide}}'' for ages while pronouncing it "hide-lide", he pauses and remarks: "Wait, maybe it's pronounced 'Hid-lide'." |
| 309 | * His complaint about the bump-to-attack battle system being unclear about whether you're attacking or defending: |
| 310 | -->'''Nerd''': It's just as random as rolling the dice or playing the lottery. [[Film/AmericanMovie Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose...but I guess it's better than using drugs or alcohol, because with drugs and alcohol--especially drugs--you always lose...]] (*clips of the Nerd dying multiple times*) |
| 311 | [[/folder]] |
| 312 | |
| 313 | [[folder:Ninja Gaiden]] |
| 314 | * The Nerd addressing a suggestive-looking cutscene in the second game, where it appears as if Irene is going down on Ryu. [[labelnote:Note]](in reality, Irene had just been stabbed and was falling to the floor in front of Ryu.)[[/labelnote]] |
| 315 | * "You're slow as sloth taking shit!" |
| 316 | * Even the ninja master can't beat ''Ninja Gaiden''. "Nunchaku-fuck!" |
| 317 | * The HilariousOuttakes. Kevin is just incredible: |
| 318 | --> '''Nerd''': Yeah yeah, I'm doing good!\ |
| 319 | '''Ninja''': It's not a woman. |
| 320 | ** And: |
| 321 | ---> '''Nerd''': *dies again* Grr!\ |
| 322 | '''Ninja''': Before you leap, you must look.\ |
| 323 | '''Nerd''': *dies again* I looked, I looked!\ |
| 324 | '''Ninja''': Before you look, you must think.\ |
| 325 | '''Nerd''': *dies again and gets angry*\ |
| 326 | '''Ninja''': [[DontThinkFeel Before you think, you must feel.]]\ |
| 327 | '''Nerd''': *dies again* [[PrecisionFStrike FUCK!]]\ |
| 328 | '''Ninja''': Before you fuck, you must use proper protection. |
| 329 | ** What's funny as well is the smile developing on James' face when the ninja says the former line. |
| 330 | ** This is compared to the normal original episode, but different when the Ninja says, "Before you think, you must feel": |
| 331 | ---> '''Nerd''': *dies again* Ungh!!!\ |
| 332 | '''Ninja''': Before you feel, you must--\ |
| 333 | '''Nerd''': [[RageBreakingPoint I've had enough!!]] |
| 334 | ** The way the ninja shrugs when saying the "Don't Think, Feel" line, as if it were obvious and he couldn't believe the Nerd didn't know it. |
| 335 | ** When the Nerd actually [[WhenYouSnatchThePebble catches the Q-tip]] ''first time''. Their reactions are priceless, especially Rolfe's look of amazement and hilarity. |
| 336 | ---> '''Ninja''': My work here is done. |
| 337 | ** And this part. Must be the Ninja being able to keep a serious tone/expression: |
| 338 | ---> '''Nerd''': And what the fuck was THAT?\ |
| 339 | '''Ninja''': A hummingbird that has no song...\ |
| 340 | '''Nerd''': ''([[{{Corpsing}} covers his mouth with the controller]])''\ |
| 341 | '''Ninja''': ...will never... ''(tries to remember his line)'' ...be a popstar.\ |
| 342 | '''Nerd''': ''(loses it)'' |
| 343 | ** "A wren that looks like a hen is more a hen than a wren." |
| 344 | ** "You must not act too quick. Perceive the victory in your head...then you will...receive head..." James's face, like he's thinking "Oh my god, he just said that?!", sells this outtake. |
| 345 | ** "If you want to throw a rock at the moon, it's [[CheesyMoon made of cheese]], so... [[{{Metaphorgotten}} you might as well]] be in [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wisconsin_cheese Wisconsin.]] |
| 346 | ** [[CampGay "Ninja G-to-the-double-ay-den."]] |
| 347 | [[/folder]] |
| 348 | |
| 349 | [[folder:Swordquest]] |
| 350 | * AVGN comments on the game's ''Earthworld'' part, where you [[MundaneMadeAwesome hear an explosion sound every time you go through a door]]. His playing the game and jumping back at each "explosion" going through a door is priceless! |
| 351 | * When playing ''Earthworld'': |
| 352 | --> '''AVGN''': These kind of games, you gotta use a lot of imagination. When you get to a treasure chamber, you can pick up items or drop them. By putting the right combination of items in a certain room, you'll trigger a clue. ''(clue appears)'' Whoa... Now what could that mean? Hmm... 16, 4... the comic book! ''(opens comic)'' Page 16, panel 4... I don't see anythi- ''(the word "SPIRE" is hidden in the drawing)'' ...Wow. |
| 353 | * When he first mentions the "Water World" game, he has to clarify that it's not the Kevin Costner film. |
| 354 | [[/folder]] |
| 355 | |
| 356 | [[folder:Pong Consoles]] |
| 357 | * His intro: |
| 358 | --> '''AVGN''': (...)They made a home Pong console, so you can play it at home. And then there was another one! ''(shows it)'' And another one! ''(shows it)'' And ''[[RuleOfThree another one]]''! ''(shows it)'' AND ANOTHER ONE! ''(shows it)'' AND ANOTHER ONE! ''(shows it) [[OverlyLongGag AND ANOTHER ONE!]] (shows it) THERE WAS, LIKE, NINE MILLION FUCKING PONG CONSOLES!'' |
| 359 | * "You get 4 different kinds of ''Pong'', like... what the hell is this[[labelnote:*]](A mode in which rather than paddles, the players have walls with holes in them)[[/labelnote]], ''Reverse Pong''? Okay... Oh, ''now'' what's this?[[labelnote:*]](suddenly his game glitches, turning into a mode in which the player on the right has a much longer paddle than the left player)[[/labelnote]] ''Asshole Pong''? That's not fair!" |
| 360 | * The Nerd's comment on using the video connector and the box for the Wonder Wizard: |
| 361 | -->"This might be a good time to bring up that most of these old consoles have a connector that looks like this. You have to plug them into a box, and then screw the box into your TV. But I say, get yourself one of ''these'' *holds up a convenient adapter*, [[BreadEggsMilkSquick plug it into the coaxial input on your TV, plug the game in, and tell that box to go fuck itself]]!" *[[FlippingTheBird flips the bird at the connector]]* |
| 362 | ** Also[[note]]When discussing the RCA Studio II, where the AC adaptor plugs into the connector box, like the Platform/Atari5200[[/note]]: |
| 363 | --->"So, technically speaking, the video signal is travelling up this wire... and then the electricity from the ''wall socket'' is coming back through the same wire. [[MindScrew I don't even understand how that works!]]" |
| 364 | * His entire reaction to the TV-4 Four-Way Video Game ("Rolls right off your tongue!"): |
| 365 | -->"Well, you already know how I feel about [[ScrappyMechanic these accursed boxes]]. How do you think I feel that this one is permanently attached to the fucking game console?! These things come from hell - these forks at the end might as well be the Devil's pitchfork. One of them's chewed off, so I have no way of connecting it to the TV...and I have no way of replacing the box! You think that makes me happy?...''It doesn't!''" ''(The Nerd angrily throws the box away)'' |
| 366 | * Wow... Pong! [[PacManFever This is where it's at! It ain't gunna get better than this!]] Now what's this here, this Xbox 360?... Some modern game system, I don't know, maybe it has advanced graphics, might even be in color. Let's check it out! ''[screen cuts to footage of ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoIV'', totally blowing the Nerd's socks off]'' |
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