Line #147 Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonEight


1	[[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerd Main]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdPilots Pilots]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonOne Season One]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonTwo Season Two]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonThree Season Three]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonFour Season Four]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonFive Season Five]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonSix Season Six]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonSeven Season Seven]] \| '''Season Eight''' \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonNine Season Nine]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonTen Season Ten]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonEleven Season Eleven]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonTwelve Season Twelve]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonThirteen Season Thirteen]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonFourteen Season Fourteen]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonFifteen Season Fifteen]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonSixteen Season Sixteen]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonSeventeen Season Seventeen]] \| [[Funny/TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonEighteen Season Eighteen]] \| [[Funny/AngryVideoGameNerdTheMovie The Movie]]
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6	[[foldercontrol]]
7
8	[[folder:''Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing'']]
9	* The Nerd inserting the game's CD into the Commodore 64's floppy drive, [[AchievementsInIgnorance which somehow actually works]].
10	* After driving around for a bit, and witnessing the game's lack of collisions or physics:
11	--> '''AVGN:''' So... what are the complaints here? ''[[BaitAndSwitch This is awesome!]]''
12	* "I'm not trying to find glitches. [[ObviousBeta It just so happens]] ''[[ObviousBeta the whole game]]'' [[ObviousBeta is a glitch!]]"
13	* The [[TotallyRadical fictional commercial]] that the Nerd makes about the game. Particularly in how it advertises the [[GoodBadBugs game's glitches as features]]:
14	--> '''Man''': Off-road traction! More power for non-stop driving action!
15	--> '''Man''': Over-the-road racing! Above the road, under the road -- ''who knows?!''
16	--> '''Man''': Never lose a race again! You're always winner!
17	--> '''Man''': Engines equipped with quantum-phasing molecular mechanics to pass through solid objects so as to not interrupt the racing experience! Nothing stands in your way!
18	--> '''Man''': Rear-spinning tires with warp-drive velocity for interdimensional exploring! Leave the game behind and exceed the boundaries of existence!
19	** And after all that, the man in the commercial hilariously sums the game up with this statement:
20	--> '''Man''': Driving around in fuckin' trucks!
21	** '''''[[TitleScream "BIIIIIIG MOOOO-THHHAAAA-FFU-CKIIN' RIIIIIIIIGGGSSSS!"]]''''' [[labelnote:*]]"Big Rigs."[[/labelnote]]
22	** The disclaimer at the end of the "commercial": [[AC: Big Rigs may be hazardous to your health. Not intended for children or adults.]]
23	*** And it's apparently being sold at [[RunningGag Fucho Land]].
24	* The Nerd completely loses it when he sees the infamous "You're Winner!" screen.
25	** In the "fixed" version, when the opponent truck actually moves, he hopes to see "You're a lose" as the lose graphic.
26	* When ranting that it actually got sold in stores:
27	--> '''AVGN''': It ''couldn't'' have been sold in stores! But apparently, it did. This is the box! It ''came'' in a ''box!'' And it was rated by the ESRB! Somebody from the ESRB looked at this game and gave it a rating. I know it's not their job to judge the ''quality'' of the game, but somebody looked at it and thought "Wow. This is ''shit.'' But, 'E.'"
28	* The ending.
29	--> '''AVGN''': Well, there's one last thing to find out. How fast can you go in reverse. Let's push the limits. Truck launches upwards to [[MindScrew land in the ground]] The truck's fucking the ground. white points overlayed on the screen That noise! That noise, how high can it go?! the background is now showing white points extending, as if entering hyperspace [[Film/{{Spaceballs}} Light speed. background changes once again Ludicrous speed! plaid background We've gone to plaid!]] background changes yet again, AVGN screams and the background switches back to hyperspace-like Can't take it anymore! We've gotta stop! releases down button, only to be thrown backwards with great force [[OhCrap Whoa, ow! OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT!]]
30	** For some reason, blurred images of Darth Vader, Winnie the Pooh, Spock, Miss Piggy, Frylock, and a few other characters appear on screen when the Nerd enters hyperspace.
31	** There are several reaction shots from his cat, as though it's thinking, "Oh, Lord, what did the human get into now?"
32	* When the truck goes outside the course's boundaries:
33	-->'''AVGN''': The game is so fucking bad, they programmed a way to escape it!
34	* The Nerd acknowledges that the game has three versions, and starts hyping up that the last version has a major advancement. What is this big progression?
35	-->'''AVGN''': [[AntiClimax The other truck moves.]]
36	[[/folder]]
37
38	[[folder: ''Desert Bus'']]
39	* The Nerd, while playing the infamous driving minigame, goes to take a sip of his beer...only to stop himself and realize that he shouldn't, since he's "driving".
40	** Just after this, he hangs an air freshener in the corner of the screen. It stays there for the majority of the review.
41	* "Entertaining himself" by pressing B to open the bus door.
42	* The Nerd's reaction to the Start button activating the bus's horn rather than pausing the game.
43	--> '''Nerd:''' The manual, and yes, there ''is'' a manual, says "No, it's not an oversight. Does your life have a pause control?"
44	* The Nerd uses a weight to press down on the button for the gas pedal for him and gloats "how do you like that trick, Penn and Teller?" Only to find that the bus drifts to the right on its own, gets stuck in the sand, and has to be towed back to the start in real time.
45	* The Nerd's reaction to seeing that the ''Castlevania II Redaction'' added a hint about the red gem and the tornado he complained about in the pilot. He can't believe what he's seeing.
46	[[/folder]]
47
48	[[folder:''The Adventures of Bayou Billy''/''The Punisher''[[note]]Second crossover episode with Pat the NES Punk[[/note]]]]
49	* "2 + 2 = Fuck You"
50	* Pat tries to defend LJN by mentioning a good game they made (contrary to the Nerd's belief) called ''T&C Surf Designs'', which featured a character named Kool Kat, which was essentially a cat wearing a tuxedo. The Nerd finally flips and yells "FUCK LJN AND FUCK TUXEDO CAT!", but then adds "Alright, Tuxedo Cat was pretty cool."
51	* When Pat mentions the ''ET'' game, the Nerd seems visibly discomforted and asks that Pat doesn't "speak its name". He then retorts, "Don't make, like, a big production out of it." They then look at the camera and the Nerd begins to nod...
52	* The Nerd's and Pat's faces [[https://imgur.com/a/Kx49G3K superimposed on the box art]] of the games they're reviewing.
53	* Pat's awkward dance to the in-game music. Even when the Nerd asks that he stops, he eventually finds himself jamming along.
54	* When Pat asks why the Nerd isn't wearing gear like a hat or a vest to resemble Bayou Billy, the Nerd responds...
55	-->'''Nerd''': I tried!...I ordered it on [=eBay=], it didn't come yet!
56	** Pat then bursts into laughter...then he realizes the Nerd wasn't kidding.
57	* After the Nerd comments on a set of heavily-built enemies throwing rocks around, Pat drops [[IncrediblyLamePun a cheesy pun]].
58	-->'''Pat''': Boy, they sure rocked your world!
59	** The Nerd then asks if Pat wants a knuckle sandwich, and then Pat nonchalantly asks, "Is it as good as pork roll?" You can practically see the Nerd trying not to laugh.
60	* After Bayou Billy is killed by a crocodile, Pat adds [[IncrediblyLamePun "I guess he'll sea you later"]], [[DontExplainTheJoke then proceeds to go into an unnecessarily deep analysis about the pun.]]
61	-->'''Nerd''': Why did I invite you over?
62	* When Pat attempts to play ''Bayou Billy'', he suffers the same numerous deaths as the Nerd, but instead of swearing, he says [[UnusualEuphemism "Fluff...fluff...FLUFFER NUTTER!"]]
63	* The ending.
64	-->'''Nerd''': Alright, ''Bayou Billy''. That's the game. See? I'd rather have a gator chew up my scrotum! It's a fucking piece of shit, it's--it's ass, it's--
65	-->'''Pat''': So you're saying it's below average?
66	-->'''Nerd''': ...Yeah, you could say that.
67	[[/folder]]
68
69	[[folder:''Beetlejuice'']]
70	* His big "[[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Oh COME ON]]!!" when he sees the dreaded LJN logo '''again.'''
71	* The Nerd comparing the game to Betelguese, the star. He concludes that the game was probably based on the star, not the movie.
72	-->”I think the game has more to do with the STAR than the movie. I mean the star in the sky, the REAL Betelgeuse. (Pronounced beetle-juice.) It's a red super-giant that's going to explode one day. Does that not accurately describe the feeling you get from playin' this piece of shit?\
73	“This particular star is always pulsating. It's so inconsistent that it's sometimes called the ninth brightest star in the sky, but usually the tenth. These fluctuations and inconsistencies are exactly what they were going for with the unpredictable nature of this game. When you're flyin' all over the place like a spring-loaded turd in a pinball machine, that's just like the star itself, how it's been speculated to have changed course at one time or another, possibly because of a nearby stellar explosion, or in this case, a fuckin' bug.\
74	“I mean here we have a game where what exists outside the edge of the screen could take effect or not! The absence of visibility will result in death, whereas the existence of something harmful, but not visible, will STILL be in effect! Is it any coincidence, that a game with no definable boundaries would have such a distinct relation to a star with optical emissions that vary, making it hard to define the photosphere? Or what about how the star is surrounded by a circumstellar envelope made up of matter that's been ejected from the star? Kinda like a mass of bees comin' out of a beehive, and making an outer field around the hive.\
75	“Betelgeuse is part of the constellation of Orion. That's what the ancient Greeks viewed it as, but of course today we all know that it's actually a skeleton shooting a fireball. Why would Betelgeuse be on the shoulder? Well, quite simply, anyone who's played this game as a kid has a chip on their shoulder whenever ya bring up the name!\
76	“And at last, the game was released in May. That's the same month when Betelgeuse can be seen over the western horizon after sunset, for only a brief period of time. Likewise, it was Western US gamers who played this, right after sunset when their homework was done, and it was only for a brief period, before they threw it to the ground, beneath the horizon.”
77	* Throughout the review, the Nerd gives vulgar names to various problems, such as Freeform Fuckery, but when he talks about the mismatched music, he just gives it the name "[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Bad Music]]."
78	* [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext "To get a cloud to move, I had to get a skeleton to shoot a fireball at a beehive!"]]
79	* "You know what I'd rather do? It's trap a bunch of beetles in a jar, [[{{Squick}} smush'em with a lemon squeezer, and drain their juice into a shotglass]]! beat [[BaitAndSwitch And no,]] [[EveryoneHasStandards I didn't say anything about]] ''[[EveryoneHasStandards drinking]]'' [[EveryoneHasStandards it]].
80	[[/folder]]
81
82	[[folder:Twelve Days of Shitsmas]]
83	[[AC:''Tagin' Dragon'']]
84	* The Nerd's reaction to the "[[InNameOnly dragon]]" on the title screen.
85	-->'''Nerd''': Oh, I distinctly remember this one. That is one pathetic looking dragon. Looks sorta like a frog-pig hybrid? I don't know.
86	* As it turned out, James actually rented this game as a child... and he only played it for a few minutes.
87	* His comment on the game having a versus mode.
88	-->'''Nerd''': Yeah, next time you're thinking about getting some friends together to play some VideoGame/SuperSmashBros? Nah. [[SarcasmMode Tagin' Dragon man]]!
89	* "You wish these dragons would do something awesome like breathe fire or fly, but no. All they do is chase each other around in circles like a bunch of monkeys."
90	[[AC:''Series/{{ALF}}'']]
91	* The Nerd's description of the FBI agents as [[MistakenForPedophile pedophiles]].
92	-->'''Nerd''': GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN, YOU FUCKING SICKO!
93	* The Nerd's reaction to getting killed by a bike rider.
94	-->'''Nerd''': How? How? How did I die?
95	* The Nerd concludes that the only replay value is to do this.
96	--> (ALF is shown doing the half-squat as the FBI agent approaches him, grabbing at the air)
97	--> '''Nerd''': Yeah. Hey-hey, pervert. Hey, y-you want this, pervert, right-right? Ha-ha! You fucking, you dirty old man! You fucking sicko!
98	-->(imitates ALF) Willie! HA! HA!
99
100	[[AC:''VideoGame/CrazyBus'']]
101	* The entirety of the review, especially his facial expressions upon first starting the game.
102	** The [[SensoryAbuse title music]] adds the hilarity thousand times better.
103	* The Nerd is so shocked by the gameplay that all he can do is chuckle to himself.
104	* The moment when he randomly falls over on his side while playing.
105	* When the Nerd describes the gameplay:
106	-->'''Nerd''':The only interactivity is moving the bus and honking the horn. It's as less of a video game as possible. ''Tiger Handheld Electronic Games'' were more in-depth than this. There's no goal, other than to see how high you can rack up the score. In other words, how long can you hold the D-Pad for. You like that game?! Well, you don't even need the game! Just the controller and a timer! It would be more fun to stare at a wall! I have a whole new appreciation for ''[[VideoGame/PennAndTellersSmokeAndMirrors Desert Bus]]''! ''[[VideoGame/BigRigsOverTheRoadRacing Big Rigs]]'' is more exciting than this shit! [[BrokeTheRatingScale This broke the shit scale]]! Th-this is a whole new higher level: first there's poop, then there's shit, and then there's... '''DEFECATION'''!
107	* "Do you find any Venezuelan buses in ''Super Mario World''? No. So you can't argue, this is the definitive Venezuelan bus game."
108	* The Nerd holds down the horn button, laughing that the driver of the bus fell asleep on the wheel.
109	* Towards the end of the video, the Nerd starts to exaggerate just how crazy the game really is:
110	--> '''Nerd''': ''[=CrazyBus=]'' man, don't forget it! Say it, one word, not ''Crazy Bus''. It's ''[=CrazyBus=]'', and it's fucking crazy! Woah, we're driving a bus here! It's fucking crazy! Oh my god, I can't take it! It's so fucking crazy! ''[=CrazyBus=]''! ''[=CrazyBus=]''! ''[=CrazyBus=]''! '''Woah'''!
111
112	[[AC:''WesternAnimation/RenAndStimpy Fire Dogs'']]
113	* The Nerd literally described the show as "Looney Tunes on crack". He also doesn't question the logic in the game he's reviewing (such as the fire department having a beaver in its equipment and the characters sliding ''up'' the fire poles).
114	** The Nerd's annoyance with a dog in one of the Ren and Stimpy SNES games who just won't die.
115	-->'''Nerd''': Slappin' the dog, slappin' the dog... ''(slaps the dog TWENTY FIVE TIMES)''
116	** Can't forget the Nerd's final verdict of Ren & Stimpy Fire Dogs.
117	-->'''Nerd''': In the words of Mr. Horse, "No sir, I don't like it".
118
119	[[AC:''[[WesternAnimation/RockyAndBullwinkle The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends]]'']]
120	* In the previous ''WesternAnimation/RenAndStimpy'' video, he gave a detailed explanation about the cartoon the game was based on. This is also true for many of the other videos he did about games based on cartoons, TV shows, or movies. This video, not so much.
121	-->'''Nerd:''' ''Rocky and Bullwinkle'' on NES, based on the cartoon, um, the cartoon... about... a moose and a squirrel? ...Do I have to see ''everything''?!
122	* The Nerd playing as Bullwinkle at the beginning of the game:
123	-->'''Nerd:''' "Eat this, bitch! You don't wanna fuck with a moose throwing bombs!"
124	* The Nerd questioning why Bullwinkle's ability to go up stairs counts as a special ability, followed by this comparison:
125	-->'''Nerd:''' "[[VideoGame/SuperMarioBros2 Princess Toadstool]] can float, [[VideoGame/CastlevaniaIIIDraculasCurse Grant]] can climb walls, [[VideoGame/DonkeyKongCountry2DiddysKongQuest Dixie Kong]] can spin her hair, Bullwinkle can... go up stairs."
126
127	[[AC:''[[Creator/MaryKateAndAshleyOlsen Mary-Kate and Ashley]] Get a Clue'']]
128	* The Nerd ''knew'' that he'd one day have to review a game based on the Olsen Twins, ever since he was playing Toxic Crusaders. He even plays a clip from said review of him saying that he might have to do it.
129	** "Only Ashley can activate switches... WHICH ONE'S ASHLEY?!"
130
131	[[AC:''[[Series/{{VIP}} V.I.P. Starring]] Creator/PamelaAnderson'']]
132	* When the Nerd notices that the game looks like it's playing itself and is only waiting for some calls from you throughout the game to do something, he notes you could play along with him without the game at hand so long as you have a Playstation controller yourself...
133	-->Nerd: Down, Circle... Up, Triangle... Right, Square... you enjoy that? You're playing [[Series/{{VIP}} V.I.P.]]
134	** The transitions the Nerd does going from the action of the actual game with the rock soundtrack from it to the guy's actually doing while playing the game.
135	--->V.I.P.: Rock soundtrack music playing with various clips from the game.
136	--->Nerd: monotonously Down, right, square...
137	--->V.I.P.: Continued rock music with more clips from the game.
138	--->Nerd: monotonously Left, square, X...
139	--->V.I.P.: More rock music with clips from the game.
140	--->Nerd: monotonously Right, square, X...
141
142	[[AC:''VideoGame/LethalWeapon'']]
143	* The last part of the review details how you 'change' characters by ''walking off-screen''. Nerd gets sick of this and leaves much in the same way. He gets replaced by Mike Matei, who sighs and remarks, "[[TheStinger I'm getting too old for this shit.]]"
144	* The Nerd's dead-on parody of the "They fuck you at the drive-thru" speech.
145
146	[[AC:''Film/{{Porkys}}'']]
147	* The Nerd's laconic description of this video game adaptation.
148	-->'''Nerd''': "What an experience Peewee had. Can you imagine the story he has to tell? 'I was walking down the street, narrowly avoiding a speedboat, a submarine on wheels, a parade of naked Dr. Seuss characters, rabid pigs, dudes in cars, I fell into a pond where I swung around on a pole and built a ladder up to a girls' locker room shower where this weird blobby ghost tried to GRAB MY DICK, I DROPPED A BUNCH OF PYRO EQUIPMENT DOWN THE SAME HOLE THAT LEADS TO THE POND, BUT SOMEHOW ENDED UP ON A BUNCH OF SCAFFOLDING WHERE I WENT AND FINISHED IT ALL OFF WITH A '''''BOOM!!!!!''''''"
149	* The Nerd explaining who the protagonist of the game is.
150	-->'''Nerd''': The character you're playing as is Pee Wee, not Pee Wee Herman, but Pee Wee from ''Porky's'', which doesn't make any sense anyway since Pee Wee's not the character who gets his dick grabbed... Not Pee Wee Herman, he can grab his own dick, but... what are we talking about here?
151
152	[[AC:Mattel Platform/HyperScan]]
153	* The Nerd constantly waiting for the system to load. (There's even a timer timing the loading process in real time. The end time is 1:02:23 - just over a minute.) This is enough time for him to look around his room, [[CallBack spotting things from previous episodes]].
154	* One of the Nerd's complaints is the inconsistent volume between the games. He is seen turning up the volume for a game that happened to be very quiet, and he then switches the game out for a ''WesternAnimation/Ben10'' game [[SensoryAbuse and is nearly deafened by the theme song]].
155
156	[[AC:''Creator/{{Universal}} Studios Theme Parks Adventure'']]
157	* Discussing Universal Studios destroying old film sets to make room for its theme park:
158	--> '''Nerd''': You know the opera house set from the classic ''Phantom of the Opera'' set that stood on Stage 28 for ninety years? Destroyed. The oldest surviving movie set in history, gone overnight, to make way for a ''Harry Potter'' ride.
159	* "They should have called the game "Universal Theme Park Janitor". Yeah, great idea, right up there with "Super Plumber Mario Toilet Cleaner"".
160	* His description of the Jaws minigame:
161	--> "It takes forever to aim and the shark moves way faster than you, so chances of hitting it are slim...you'd have as much luck trying to time jerking off onto a passing car."
162	* The Nerd's fake ad for Universal Studios Theme Park:
163	-->'''Nerd:''' "Visit [[Ride/UniversalStudios Universal Studios Theme Park]]! Experience the thrill! Ride the movies! [[BreadMilkEggsSquick Pick up]] [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] [[BreadMilkEggsSquick trash]]! The only theme park on Earth where you get to clean up after everybody else. Nothing gets you closer to the movies than wearing funny hats and collecting stamps. Book your trip now! But seriously, the park's dirty. We need someone to clean it."
164	** Adding to it is at the end where it says under the logo: "Please apply for janitor. Pick up our trash."
165	* At the end, the Nerd decides to take a peek at his last present... and sees that [[OhCrap all-too]] [[ThisIsGonnaSuck familiar]] [[Creator/LJNToys rainbow]].
166	-->'''Nerd:''' '''''[[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]]'''''
167
168	[[AC:[[Creator/LJNToys LJN]] Video Art]]
169	* The Nerd decrees the "console" as the worst thing LJN have ever done, and says that, "the only thing worse would be to play it on the Roll 'N Rocker". [[HypocriticalHumor Which he proceeds to do at the end of the video]]. Even better, he trips and falls as he plays it, causing him to give it the finger and kick it away.
170	* "Okay. Let's cut the shit." ''[[VisualPun cut to a clip of the Nerd cutting a chocolate Yule log cake in half]]''
171	* After stating how bad the controls are, the Nerd decides to look at the family on the box.
172	-->'''Nerd:''' Look at the family on the box. What could they possibly be so overjoyed about? imitating the boy with the controller "Look, look, Mom, yay, I drew a [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] line!"
173	* The Nerd analyzes the styrofoam that came with the "console" and finds it more interesting than the "console" itself.
174	* The Nerd sarcastically proposing the idea that this console has the greatest game music of all time, and imagines a scenario in which he mentions the console in a conversation on the topic, and then imitates its perpetual static noise.
175	* After the Nerd mutes the game, turning off the static:
176	-->'''Nerd''': Put on some Witchfinder General, and while you're at it, ''put in a different fucking game!''
177	* The Nerd's three consecutive attempts at trying to draw a circle and failing, losing his temper when he ends up drawing a ''perfectly straight rectangle'' on the third try.
178	[[/folder]]

Context Funny / TheAngryVideoGameNerdSeasonEight