Line #100 Funny/SecretWars2015


1	----
2	[[foldercontrol]]
3
4	[[folder: Last Days]]
5	* As Loki sits in the void of the after the end of existence, he notes how the only things that survived the end outside of Doom's patchwork planet was himself and the Silver Surfer. Deciding that he'd rather avoid Battleworld and that Norrin probably would not appreciate his company, Loki opts to skip ahead by breaking the fourth wall in a manner that would make Deadpool blush in shame. Literally drawing the next issue preview around him.
6	-->'''Verity:''' You're... '''joking'''...
7	* Scott Lang spends his Last Day shagging the new Beetle, who he had already dealt with before and ran into the night before at the club.
8	** "Never...ever...sleep with the bad guys."
9	* The Punisher kills a terrorist who was using the washroom via TheCanKickedHim.
10	--> '''Frank:''' Usually I enjoy instilling fear in my enemies, but for your sake... I hope I didn't scare the &*#@ out of you.
11	[[/folder]]
12
13	[[folder: Secret Wars (main title)]]
14
15	* As both Earth-616 and Earth-1610 are in their death throes, Wilson Fisk decides to throw an End of the World Party.
16	** And emails all his old buddies (Norman Osborn, The Sandman, The Lizard, Bullseye, and eighteen others) to come drink and party and watch it all. He caps his email thusly: "...Please join me for a most raucous celebration [[BuffySpeak at that place where we met that time for the thing]]."
17	** [[AffablyEvil "I'm buying."]]
18	** And then [[ComicBook/ThePunisher Frank Castle]] strolls in.
19	---> '''The Punisher''': Gentlemen, they say that when you die, you can't take it with you. Which begs the question: [[PreAssKickingOneLiner exactly what am I gonna do with all these bullets?]]
20	* From issue #2:
21	** The sheer fact that even after having the ability to recreate the universe InTheirOwnImage, [[spoiler:Doctor Doom [[EvilIsPetty still has to take away Reed Richards' kids and wife, despite probably being able to wipe him out of existence altogether]]]] is some BlackComedy.
22	** Some Thors are riding over to the Bar Sinister to bring Baron Sinister before [[OrcusOnHisThrone Doom]] for arbitration, and Sinister looks down his nose at them.
23	---->"Ah, the law... how very trashy."
24	* From issue #3:
25	** The Cabal is resting from their escape and plotting their next move. As they do, Thanos declares they'll have their answers soon enough. When Namor asks how he knows that, Thanos replies "Because... I am looking up." and sees the army of Thors descending.
26	* A BrickJoke: in issue #2, Baron Sinister was ordered to pay reparations to the Braddocks. In issue #3, Strange notes that while Sinister complied, he couldn't resist having an unflattering statue of the former Baron made and delivered to the Braddock clan.
27	* From issue #4:
28	** When the 616 Heroes finally face off with Doom:
29	--->'''Doom:''' '''''Richards'''''.
30	--->'''Ultimate Richards/The Maker:''': Is he talking to me? I don't really care for his tone.
31	--->'''Maximus''': No. He is most certainly ''not'' talking to you.
32	* When Reed notes that Doom has put himself on a throne, Spidey goes DeadpanSnarker.
33	--> '''Spider-Man''': [[SarcasmMode Yeah. We're all absolutely shocked by that. Just floored.]]
34	* [[http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20150421194629/marveldatabase/images/c/cf/Secret_Wars_Vol_1_5_Textless_(plus_title).jpg The cover to the fifth issue has a tiny Beyonder coming out of Doom's mouth.]]
35	* Issue 6 has Captain Marvel convincing Mr. Sinister to go against Doom... by punching him in the face. Multiple times.
36	** Also, it has Peter Parker and Miles Morales talk to the Molecule Man. Molecule Man asks for something to eat, so Miles gives him a hamburger that he still had in his pocket. The following conversation between him and Peter is just pure gold.
37	--->'''Peter:''' How do you forget you have a hamburger in your pocket?\
38	'''Miles:''' We've been busy.\
39	'''Peter:''' It's a ''hamburger''.\
40	'''Miles:''' Hamburgers are what I like. Puberty is rough, Pete. I'm starving all day long. 'Cause I'm gonna be big.\
41	'''Peter:''' No, Miles. I mean, where did you get it? Don't say your pocket.\
42	'''Miles:''' From home. You know, my Earth.\
43	'''Peter:''' So you're telling me that's an eight-year, three-week old hamburger?\
44	'''Miles:''' I don't think the suspended animation counts.\
45	'''Peter:''' Okay. So that's a three-week old hamburger?\
46	'''Miles:''' Yeah.\
47	'''Peter:''' And?\
48	'''Miles:''' [[OhCrap Oh, man.]] He shouldn't eat that.
49	* In Issue #7, the zombies are all - predictably - obsessed with brains. And flesh. Cue Black Panther, King of the Dead, with [[spoiler: the Infinity Gauntlet]], who takes command of them and gives them a RousingSpeech about "glory and honour". They still prefer brains, and a zombie Modok tries to argue against it, before being skewered by Namor, who then casually tells them to listen to their King - who asks them once again what they're willing to fight for. There is a visible pause, before, "GLORY AND HONOUR!"
50	** The next issue, they're pouring out of the Siege Courageous, crying, "GLORY! HONOUR! BRAINS!"
51	* Issue #7 begins with grandiose narration about how the Prophet is crossing Battleworld and inspiring the locals to rise up against Doom. But who is this Prophet? [[spoiler: it's Maximus, inciting Battleworld's own Last Days scenario]].
52	-->[[DullSurprise "It's me, you idiots!"]]
53	* Baron Sinister was decapitated in Issue #7. In issue #8, he's still headless on the ground as Battleworld starts to fall apart around him:
54	-->"The Maestro's ship is coming down! Run! Alas, I cannot. How embarrassing."
55	* Also in Issue #7, the Maestro arrives with his Hulks, Worldbreakers each, with his gory Helicarrier, and makes a grand speech about how he's going to tear down Doom and take his place... then gets swatted out of the sky by Ben who just sees him as something in his way.
56	** At the same time, Terrax dramatically rededicates himself to Galactus, who Franklin's orienting to face off against Ben... and is promptly a) ignored, and b) stepped on.
57	* Molecule Man's constant complaining about being hungry ends up becoming an important plot point. He nonchalantly strips Doom of his godhood because he didn't bring him food, and so that Reed could have a fair fight. [[spoiler: Plus, there's something oddly hilarious about Miles' mom being brought back to life because Miles gave him a hamburger.]]
58	* When Doom confronts Reed in Molecule Man's chamber, the ''first'' word out of Doom's mouth is "'''RICHARDDSSS!'''" Classic Vic.
59	[[/folder]]
60
61	[[folder: War Zones]]
62	!!Amazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows
63	* Basically any time Peter and Mary Jane pull the parent card on Annie, a rambunctious kid with superpowers.
64	* Spider-Man defeating Regent [[spoiler: with an IncrediblyLamePun.]]
65	!!1602: Witch Hunter Angela
66	* The reveal that King James is a Witchbreed, and also [[spoiler: ''Wolverine'']]. Angela impales him on her staff, and he tries repeatedly slashing at her with his claws while she looks bemused at best.
67	** Also, the Mr. Sinister of this world is the King's wimpy aid, who spends most of his time screaming and cowering behind Angela any time something bad happens.
68	* Serah's tale of how the kind, beautiful, pure-hearted, clever, etc... nun "Sarah" turned the tables on the harsh and LawfulStupid "Angelo", who [[AndNowYouMustMarryMe demanded her hand in marriage]] in exchange for the life of a prisoner who was incarcerated on extremely weak charges, and how Sarah tricked "him" by swapping out the marriage contract with a contract to join the Witch Hunters for life. Angela is [[{{Facepalm}} facepalming]] the entire time, groaning that that isn't how it happened.
69	** The contract itself reads: "Signees below swear to serve faithfully for ''their lives entire!'' In the name of ''Doom Almighty'' who wil ''smite the bottoms of the naughty'' if any do disobey! You won't even get to serve on ''the Shield'', defending the lands! So ''DON'T!''"
70
71	!!1872
72
73	* In a setting largely bereft of humor, the Vision is a coin-operated fortune-telling machine.
74
75	!!A-Force
76
77	* First time we see Nico she is stuffing her mouth with cereal while rolling her eyes over America and Loki, which in combination gives her an incredibly goofy expression.
78	* This exchange when America decides to [[spoiler: throw the megalodon over the wall]]
79	-->'''Dazzler:''' America, no!\
80	'''America:''' America, yes! Nobody tell P.E.T.A.
81	* In the final issue, Kamala Khan mentions that, if they made it through this, that she would have to admit that the zombie invasion is ''way'' better than any of her fanfics. The other heroines decide to give her better fanfic recommendations.
82	** Also, the HoYay moment between Spider-Gwen and Mary Jane.
83
84	!!Age of Apocalypse (2015)
85
86	!!Armor Wars (2015)
87
88	!!Captain Britain and The Mighty Defenders
89
90	* The flashback to "Spider Hero's" origin. Hobie Brown was determined to fill in for Spider-Man after he was killed during ComicBook/SpiderVerse, but no-one calls him that. Adding insult to injury is the Daily Bugle's reaction
91	-->'''Daily Bugle:''' [[AC: New Spider Hero in Town. Definitely Not Spider-Man.]]
92	-->'''Prowler:''' Aw, come on!
93	* A bit earlier we also got two digs at the poor guy in ''one panel'', first She-Hulk referred to him as Spider Hero, which he corrected to Spider-Man, and then the ''narration'' introduced him as "Hobie Brown. Spider Hero. ([[ShoutOut No hyphen]][[note]]The narration of Al Ewing's Comicbook/MightyAvengers run pulled the very same joke with Blade's improvised secret identity. At least Hobie was spared the Splendiferously stupid adjective[[/note]].)".
94	* She-Hulk is a Thor, but her hammer is just a tiny gavel.
95	* Faiza Hussein's entrance: Wandering out of the wastelands, Excalibur in hand, she smashes apart the unbreakable wall keeping her out of Yinsen's domain with one blow... and then ''apologises''.
96	-->''Uh, sorry about breaking your wall-thing. I do come in peace, though. Honest.''
97	* Mondo City's War Machine is a huge sentient tank with drills and chainsaws on mechanical arms.
98	-->'''War Machine''': Lookit all my guns!
99
100	!!Captain Marvel and The Carol Corps
101
102	!!Civil War (2015)
103	* Storm brings back a drone (that was looking for Miriam Sharpe's killer) to Colossus and asks what they should do with it. He and Magneto turn the drone into a ball and toss it into the Iron with "next time, it's a Hulk!" painted on it.
104
105	!!Deadpool's Secret Secret Wars
106	* The revelation that Deadpool was the reason the Venom symbiote went insane.
107	--> '''Deadpool:''' Gee... I hope communicating with my brain doesn't mess this thing up! Whatever it is... I'd hate to think my twisted psyche might have driven it nuts or something! puts the symbiote back in its prison
108	-->'''Spider-Man:''' enters the room Hey... uh... Deadpool. Hulk said there's some sort of super-science seamstress in here or something.
109	-->'''Deadpool:''' exits Yeah. Right over there. Knock yourself out. Just remember -- black is slimming.
110	* Deadpool's Handsome face, complete with Moustache and invoking envy. How Handsome is it? ''It's the reason why Doom decided to just kill everyone because he couldn't stand someone being more handsome than him.''
111
112
113	!!E is for Extinction
114	* Beak is flirting with two mutant girls when he gets caught by Angel Salvadore. Angel later mentions she thought the one on his right was pretty hot.
115	* TheCameo of WesternAnimation/{{Daria}} and Jane at the Atom Institute.
116	* Cyclops and Emma Frost sleeping together
117	-->'''Cyclops:''' We've been over this - - Technically they're not lasers, they're optic for-
118	-->'''Emma Frost:''' Stop.
119
120	!!Future Imperfect (2015)
121
122	!!Giant-Size Little Marvel: a vs. x
123
124	* ComicBook/SpiderGwen turning down ComicBook/IronMan for a date 'cause he's "a kid with a mustache and goatee like a creep."
125	* Magneto pulling apart Tony's booth while the X-men look on and laugh.
126	* Tony's response?
127	-->'''Tony''': Thor?
128	-->'''Thor''': Aye?
129	-->'''Tony''': Hammer time!
130	-->'''Thor''': Word.
131	* While attempting to recruit the twins into the Avengers via showing off their clubhouses, the twins find Wolverine over there, who tell them not to tell Cyclops or he'll get "eye hurt".
132
133	!!Guardians of Knowhere
134
135	!!Hail Hydra
136
137	!!Hank Johnson, Agent of HYDRA
138	* M.O.D.O.K. as a priest at a random Hydra grunt's funeral.
139	* As Hank goes to human resources to report sexual harassment claims, the HR manager immediately (and correctly) assumes this is about Madame Hydra before Hank even gets in the door.
140	* As Baron Zemo gives a speech at a charity event for a Hydra run school, he shows off a "guess how many marbles are in the jar" fundraiser where the school would get money for each guess. Immediately after he mentions this, M.O.D.O.K. immediately shouts out the correct answer to the whole crowd.
141
142	!!House of M (2015)
143	* Pietro's attempted mutiny backfires on him and his family milks it for all it's worth.
144	--> '''Magneto''': Put my idiot offspring down!
145	** Later when he's explaining the situation to S.H.I.E.L.D he very cheerfully states
146	--> '''Magneto''': It's a long story, Shaw. My son is a treacherous nitwit.
147	--> '''Quicksilver''': (Look of utter embarrassment)
148	--> '''Magneto''': I'll explain the rest later.
149	** And finally when Quicksilver is confused how he's walking away from this unpunished.
150	--> '''Polaris''': Father has two soft spots, Pietro. And you have the distinct advantage of being both of them: mutant and family. [[OffhandBackhand (Decks him)]] But me? I intend to make you pay dearly.
151
152	!!Howard The Human
153	* Howard utterly drooling and offering to give all the money in the world to eat an egg which came out of a chicken mobster. He then exits the area threatening to shoot Pete the Possum if he didn't leave without the egg.
154
155	!!Inferno (2015)
156	* Issue #2 introduces us to little Nate Summers. Little gun toting Nate Summers who is insistent on being referred to by another name.
157	-->'''Nate Summers''': My name is Cable!
158	-->'''Goblyn Queen''': ''[rolling her eyes]'' Sigh. Of... ''course'' it is, sweetheart.
159
160	!!The Infinity Gauntlet (2015)
161	* In the first issue, Anwen's father and grandfather have a heated argument while she hears something and tells them both to shut up. Each of them immediately starts scolding her for talking like that to the other like if they weren't yelling at each other just seconds ago.
162	* Two words: Nova dog.
163
164	!!Mrs. Deadpool and The Howling Commandos
165	* In issue #3, Dracula suspects that the Howling Commandos have betrayed him, and that the Invisible Man is hiding somewhere in his castle. [[spoiler:(They have, and he is.)]] So he uses the most logical method available to him to find the invisible spy... randomly punching the air around him.
166
167
168	!!M.O.D.O.K. Assassin
169
170	!!Old Man Logan (2015)
171
172	!!Planet Hulk (2015)
173
174	!!Secret Wars 2099
175
176	!!Spider-Island
177	* Pretty much everything about Tony Stark after he gets dosed with Goblin Formula.
178
179	!!Spider-Verse
180	* Spider-Verse #2, the spiders are comparing origin stories, with all of them stating that they were bitten by a radioactive spider, until we get to Spider-Ham, who gives us this gem:
181	--> '''Spider-Ham''': I was a spider bitten by a radioactive pig.
182	** The best part, for those not familiar with the character, is that this [[http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110911094944/marveldatabase/images/7/7a/Origin_(Earth-8311)_1.jpg is absolutely true!]]
183	* In issue 3, Gwen is utterly horrified at the sight of Spider-Ham eating a BBQ rib sandwich, pointing out that he's eating pork. Even funnier as it's a CallBack to an incident in ''ComicBook/SpiderGwen'' #2 where she hallucinated a version of Spider-Ham eating a hot dog.
184	* In #5, while fighting a Thor, Spider-Ham says that he [[MadeOfIron can get hit really hard and not get hurt]]. He then pulls a YourMom on the Thor, and gets slammed through several walls.
185	--> '''Spider-Ham''': ''Hey, Brunhilda! Your Mamma was a frost giant!''
186	** The Thor slams Ham with her hammer. '''WHAM'''
187	--> '''Spider-Gwen''': ''Oh my God! She just '''killed Ham!''' ''
188	--> '''Spider-Man Noir''': ''That...is not a useful skill.''
189	*** Fortunately, Ham was quite correct about his ability to survive the blow.
190	!!Squadron Sinister
191
192	!!Weirdworld
193
194	!!Where Monsters Dwell
195	* Phantom Eagle, while running away from a T-Rex, runs past by complete coincidence a native tribe... who are promptly eaten by said T-rex while Karl continues to run in fear and covered in blood.
196	!!X-Tinction Agenda
197
198	!!Years of Future Past
199	[[/folder]]
200
201	[[folder: Battleworld]]
202
203	!!Age of Ultron vs. Marvel Zombies
204
205	!!Battleworld
206
207	* M.O.D.O.K. decides that the only people he can trust not to fail in taking over the world are the other M.O.D.O.K.s - including a Hulk-M.O.D.O.K., Spider-M.O.D.O.K. and even [[ComicBook/{{Nextwave}} baby-M.O.D.O.K.]]. HilarityEnsues when they all inevitably butt heads and kill each other.
208	* The Silver Surfer of 2099 versus The Maestro. The Maestro tries his usual technique of clapping hard enough to create a sonic boom... and the Surfer [[NoSell doesn't even notice]].
209
210	!!Ghost Racers
211
212	!!The Inhumans: Attilan Rising
213
214	!!The Korvac Saga (2015)
215
216	!!Marvel Zombies
217
218	* Zombie Azazel teleports away from the Shield with Elsa in his clutches. The reader can only hear Elsa's visceral threats (involving Azazel's genitals and arsecheeks) when the two pop back into reality.
219	* Elsa Bloodstone ranting about misogyny while blasting zombie Doc Ock's head off.
220	* Elsa describing the landscape of distant mountains as a [[Comicbook/{{Wolverine}} "compensation haircut for someone with short-man syndrome."]]
221	* Deadpool's dialogue in issue #3 is total BlackComedy, but certainly counts when he tells Elsa that he hasn't been zombified because the local pack have been eating his brain with... "''le spork!''" In a spork-shaped speech bubble, no less.
222	* As the intelligent zombies slowly lose their smarts from not feeding, Mystique starts [[FreudianSlip tripping over her words]].
223	-->'''Mystique''': Perfect. Hurry. Stoke the weapon's fires whilst those fools are [[FreudianSlip brains]]. ...B-busy. I m-mean while they're busy. [-Braaains.-]
224	** Then, as the zombies are about to fire their weapon:
225	-->'''Shriek''': The Scrap-Head is in position! The hunter's been [[FreudianSlip braaains]] to the ground! The redhead's acting really [[FreudianSlip meeeat]]!
226	-->'''Mystique''': Good enough. Ready... aim-- [[FreudianSlip FLESH]]! I mean fire!
227
228	!!Master of Kung-Fu
229
230	!!Red Skull
231
232	!!Runaways
233	* The art is great at delivering goofy facial expressions that can make you laugh all the time.
234	* Character introduction boxes, featuring such gems as calling Amadeus "Bugging little @#$%" and that Skaar is the only reason nobody had killed him yet or how Tyrone "Doesn't like drama but somehow always gets in the middle of ALL THE DRAMA" or LampshadeHanging on Molly's ImprobableAge with "Does she even go here?".
235	* Molly trying to join Jubilee's gang - last time Jubilee told her she needs a jacket like the others, so this time Molly made one. It's a regular jacket with poorly sticking star on the back, where Night Witches' pentagram should be.
236	* Molly smashed a locker into Skaar, Son of Hulk from land full of Hulks, while yelling "Smash Hulk!". From the look on his face, he is not amused.
237	* When Bucky stops escalating fight between Night Witches with Molly and Shanna and Skaar, Dagger immidiatelly starts underlining he has nothing to do with these people.
238	* Amadeus reprograms a detention Doombot to let them go but when it looks like they managed to avoid punishment and nobody will ever find out about it... Molly tears off the door.
239	** And moments after she is laughing how awesome it feels doing stuff like that.
240	--->'''Delphyne Gorgon:''' Oh my god, we ruined this kid.
241	** The Detention Doombot itself is pretty funny once reprogrammed
242	--->'''Doombot''': Such nice kids.
243	* When Bucky informs them there is only one spot left for a team to register and they'll have to all be in one together, Jubilee drops her relaxed posture and just goes for a BigNo.
244	* As Valeria gives Bucky a cold and calculated pep talk about how he is efficient at doing what needs to be done and convincing him to hunt down the Runaways even if he must resort to lethal force, the reader is immediately reminded that she is still a small child as she end's the pep talk with this:
245	-->'''Valeria''': I lost a tooth. See? (Valeria opens her mouth to show Bucky)
246	-->'''Bucky''': Wow! Did it hurt?
247	-->'''Valeria''': Nope. It bled some though.
248	-->'''Bucky''': You're very brave.
249
250	!!Secret Love
251	* The cover alone, being a throwback to old romance comics, with an overwrought [[ComicBook/MsMarvel2014 Kamala Khan]] [[CrackShip yearning for]] [[ComicBook/AllNewGhostRider Robbie Reyes]].
252	** The actual story they feature in subverts it hilariously. In the aftermath of a monster attack that had them teaming up to subdue it, they start slowly leaning in closer while looking into each other's eyes, much to the anguish of their existing wanna-be love interests... and then shake hands.
253	-->'''Robbie:''' Ha ha!\
254	'''Kamala:''' Crossover besties 4 lyfe, bro!!!
255
256	!!Secret Wars Journal
257	* ''Secret Wars Journal #2'': The dishes made by SupremeChef [[ComicBook/{{Daredevil}} Matt Murdock]] for Baron Sinister and his guests have included [[ComicBook/HowardTheDuck magret de canard caricaturee ã l'excelsiorange]] and [[ComicBook/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy macedoine de flora colossi]]. Poor Howard. Poor Groot.
258	* ''Secret Wars Journal #5'': Just about everything about Mill-E, a perky fembot tasked with bringing the word of Doom to the outer territories, but failing hilariously at it, whether it be through corny raps in Westchester, or by trying to rally the forces of Hydra with "Hail Hydra! Only not Hydra! ''Doom''!" When her efforts finally succeed in converting ''one'' little girl (with chibi Doombots) the Council of Doombots get fed up and pull a manual override and just start using her to blast everything while shouting "Submit to Doom!" She's then sent to the Deadlands to try to convert the zombies.
259
260	!!Siege
261	* There's a version of Kitty Pryde on the wall that's a talking cat. A [[ComicBook/{{Saga}} Lying Cat]], to be specific.
262	* In issue #2, there's a splash page of Leah and Magik fighting the Annihilation Wave on top of a bestial Colossus... and Illyana is grinning like a kid at Christmas.
263	* Leonardo [=DaVinci's=] Enlightenment Cannon. It shoots philosophy, so when aimed at the zombies, waves of living dead stop in their tracks and exclaim, "I'm a logical contradiction!"
264
265	!!Star-Lord and Kitty Pryde
266	* How does issue #1 start? With Quill singing [[WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid1989 "Part Of Your World"]].
267	* Pompadour Drax. Pompadour, jive-talking Drax.
268	* The Disney crooning comes back up when Quill and Kitty are captured by an alternate Kitty who is a robotic frog. As it turns out, in any universe Kitty Pryde is vulnerable to the charms of [[WesternAnimation/SleepingBeauty "Once Upon A Dream"]]
269
270	!!Thors
271	* Thors is a modern PoliceProcedural where the cops happen to all be alternate versions of Thor. And [[DaChief King Thor]] ends up giving his two best cops (Thor from the Ultimate Universe and Beta Ray Bill) a very traditional rant!
272	* Any scene with Throg in it.
273
274	!!Ultimate End
275	* ''Ultimate End'' #1 has Peter's major reasoning for getting things back to normal: they all know who he is and he doesn't like that.
276	** Even more, the Avengers and X-Men gathered there now know who he is, too!
277	** Emma Frost gets a separate panel when everyone raises her hand, and the cheekiest smirk imaginable. Knowing Emma, she'd likely read his mind, and found out who he was beforehand.
278
279	!!X-Men '92
280	* For those who have watched the cartoon, admit it, it's impossible to read Storm's dialog and not hear her shouting everything in your head.
281	* The X-Men practicing combat training... in a laser tag arena. And that's how the book opens.
282	* [[spoiler: Sabertooth]] hugging Wolverine. And Wolverine being thoroughly freaked out by it.
283	-->'''Weapon X''': Y'know, a hug can be stronger than adamantium.
284	* Rogue and Gambit are having a heartfelt moment, where Rogue is talking about her past and wondering how Gambit could possibly claim to love her when she doesn't even understand who she is. Gambit assures her that, even if their relationship will be difficult, he still loves her and the two are about to kiss... when Cassandra Nova [[MomentKiller suddenly pops]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext out of their picnic basket]] exclaiming how disappointed she is in all this sexual tension. She exclaims that the X-Men are supposed to be role models, summoning up child versions of Colossus, Dazzler, Longshot, Havok, and Nightcrawler, [[MoralGuardian to make a point about their effect on impressionable children.]] The kids are actually more interested in what Rogue and Gambit were gonna do.
285	-->'''Kid Dazzler''': Were you two gonna kiiiiiiisss?
286	-->'''Kid Nightcrawler''': [[FromTheMouthsOfBabes I heard zat's how you make ze baby.]]
287	** During a flashback to Gambit abandoning Belladonna in the night, it shows his breakup letter: "IT NOT YOU, IT GAMBIT"
288	** Cassandra Nova in general straddles the line between a hilarious parody of PoliticalOvercorrectness and MoralGuardians, making sure the X-Men are acting appropriate and sanitized, and a horrifying [[MindRape mind rapist]] turning them into puppets.
289	* Deadpool's surprise cameo along with '92's version of ComicBook/XForce, investigating the mysteriously quiet Xavier Institute.
290	-->'''Bishop''': I don't like this. If something's happened to Xavier, we may be too late to stop Westchester from becoming [[BadFuture my future]].
291	-->'''ComicBook/{{Deadpool}}''': Yeah, the grim darkness of a tomorrow where the mullet never went out of style.
292	* As awesome as it is, the sight of [[spoiler:Onslaught armed with the Phoenix Force's wings, Psylocke's katana and Cable's gigantic gun and using said gun to shoot the Shadow King over the horizon]] is just as goofy.
293	* Beast is able to pop open a steel door, when Sabretooth's head sticks out, vowing to gut and eat anyone inside... before revealing it's Deadpool ''with'' Sabretooth's head, the head begging for help.
294	* Due to Nova's psychic conditioning, Wolverine finds himself unable to rescue a trapped bystander. Until said bystander snaps him out of it...by asking him to go and get Cyclops.
295	* At the end, Jubilee and Rogue get their first look at [[ComicBook/GenerationX the new students]] as they're helping Gambit clean his car. Gambit winks at Rogue, getting her to blush and causing Jubilee to tease, but when Chamber flirts with Jubilee, it's her turn to get ribbed.
296
297	!!Secret Wars Too
298	* [[https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/8/81/Secret_Wars_Too_Vol_1_1.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20151112203448 The cover]], a spoof of the "Most likely to..." page in high school yearbooks. Doom's is "Most likely to become a god," with a red [[ComicBook/SecretWars1984 "twice"]] scribbled under with an arrow.
299	* Some of the domains are completely ridiculous, like Domain #615, inhabited entirely of versions of Uncle Ben who only say "Malkovich", or Hell's Kitchen's Kitchen, where Galactus is a food blogger.
300	[[/folder]]
301
302	[[folder:Meta]]
303	* A lot of Skottie Young's variant covers fall to this (as they usually do):
304	** [[http://41.media.tumblr.com/2b33f578ce0ca01c0c4c8e080400ecf5/tumblr_nngw0pW0rV1qes700o1_1280.jpg A-Force #1]] has the ComicBook/AForce in a [[IncrediblyLamePun hairy]] situation.
305	** [[http://41.media.tumblr.com/061c3fcbc29b3daeb70dede74de50ddc/tumblr_np0e9oIJpn1qes700o1_1280.jpg Age of Ultron vs. Marvel Zombies #1]] has ComicBook/{{Ultron}} going toe to toe with Zombie!King Loki...in Go Fish.
306	** [[http://40.media.tumblr.com/43b434a02a21a7c697d7fd4e22060c9f/tumblr_nmz506ejTO1qes700o1_1280.jpg Planet Hulk #1]] has a bunch of Hulks getting a ride from Devil Dinosaur...with Steve Rogers attempting to catch up with them.
307	** [[http://41.media.tumblr.com/af4e58b275edeae4d46dbf2e94b63571/tumblr_nnj3lpXm4I1qes700o1_1280.jpg Old Man Logan #1]] has Logan [[LampshadeHanging pointing out how a young variant to an old character doesn't make sense.]]
308	** [[http://www.comicbookresources.com/imgsrv/imglib/0/0/1/UltEnd1-c5831.jpg The Ultimate End #1]] has Creator/BrianMichaelBendis dropping the mic for the Ultimate Universe. And looks pretty damn smug doing it, too!
309	** [[http://www.comicbookresources.com/imgsrv/preview/0/0/1/Civil-War-1-Young-Variant-78dad.jpg Civil War #1]] has kid Iron Man and kid Captain America forget what they were fighting about.
310	** [[https://therapyincomics.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/secret-wars-1-variant-skottie-young-baby.jpg Secret Wars #1]] has kid Doctor Doom playing God...with action figures.
311
312	[[/folder]]
313

Context Funny / SecretWars2015