Line #20 Funny/SamAndMax


1	-->''You crack me up, little buddy.''
2	[[index]]
3	* [[Funny/SamAndMaxFreelancePolice The comics]]
4	* [[Funny/TheAdventuresOfSamAndMaxFreelancePolice The cartoon]]
5	* Funny/SamAndMaxHitTheRoad
6	* Funny/SamAndMaxTheDevilsPlayhouse
7	[[/index]]
8
9	'''Moments pages are Administrivia/SpoilersOff. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.'''
10	----
11	!!''Sam and Max: Freelance Police'' video game series
12
13	!!!Season One
14
15	[[AC:Episode 101: Culture Shock]]
16	* If Sam tells Whizzer that he's under arrest for "reverse shoplifting".
17	-->'''Whizzer:''' Aw, come on. It's a free country!\
18	'''Max:''' Woah, woah, woah! Who told you ''that?!''\
19	'''Sam:''' This guy's suffering from some pretty severe delusions.
20	* Investigating the gumball machine outside Bosco's:
21	-->'''Sam:''' It looks like he's got Boston Baked Beans in there this month.\
22	'''Max:''' How do they stay fresh?\
23	'''Sam:''' They don't.
24	** It's similarly filled with something different and/or dangerous in every other episode.
25	* When investigating Sybil's "Relax" sign:
26	-->'''Sam:''' That may be the '''least''' relaxing sign I ever seen.\
27	'''Max:''' What about that one outside the barber shop that says "[[FalseReassurance Low Fatality Rate]]"?\
28	'''Sam:''' I stand corrected.
29	* An interesting exchange that occurs when exiting a conversation with Bosco:
30	-->'''Bosco:''' Remember, we never had this conversation.\
31	'''Max:''' What conversation?\
32	'''Bosco:''' The conversation we just had.\
33	'''Sam:''' No, he was pretending to not know about the conversation.\
34	'''Bosco:''' What conversation?\
35	'''Max:''' Oh, brother!
36	* The last "Do you have any..." line before the options restart:
37	-->'''Sam:''' Do you have any... weapons of mass destruction?\
38	'''Bosco:''' Who's asking?
39	* Sam and Max drop a bowling ball on Specs' head from their second floor office to break him out of his trance. [[HeroicComedicSociopath Heroic Comedic Sociopathy]] at its finest.
40	-->'''Sam:''' Can you believe we get paid to do this?\
41	'''Max:''' ''[sniff]'' I love this country.
42	* Driving around, and pulling people over can have hilarious moments, such as when Max yells at the driver to pull over:
43	-->'''Max:''' This is your first and final warning! Pull over, or die!
44	** And this, after shooting the driver's taillight:
45	--->'''Sam:''' Your taillight's busted.\
46	'''Driver:''' But ''you're'' the ones who broke it!\
47	'''Max:''' Your point being?
48	** And some of the other options:
49	--->'''Sam:''' According to our homemade radar gun, you were just exceeding the speed of light.\
50	'''Driver:''' That's not physically possible.\
51	'''Max:''' Oh, would you like me to ''demonstrate'' what's physically possible?
52	** Max can also list off some options to charge drivers with:
53	--->'''Max:''' We're booking your sorry hide for indecent exposure!\
54	'''Driver:''' What are you talking about?! I'm fully clothed!\
55	'''Max:''' Except your face. Get a veil, please!\
56	'''Sam:''' Let's go, Max. Having that face is punishment enough.
57	* This, after Sam gets hypnotized:
58	-->'''Bosco:''' Call the CIA, call Interpol, call Mickey Rooney!\
59	'''Sam:''' ''[Hypnotized]'' Must...deliver... ''[breaks for a second]'' Mickey Rooney?? ''[resumes]'' ...videos...\
60	'''Bosco:''' AHHHHHH!
61	* The various things you can get the hypnotized Soda Poppers to do in the finale, particularly the "become" commands. One of the best is if Sam commands the Poppers to "Become me!".
62	-->'''Whizzer:''' Somersaulting Democrats in a crate of sauerkraut!\
63	'''Peepers:''' Patience is a sharp razor to swallow!\
64	'''Specs:''' [[CatchPhrase You crack me up, little buddy!]]\
65	'''Sam:''' [[DoIReallySoundLikeThat Who's]] '''''[[DoIReallySoundLikeThat that]]''''' [[DoIReallySoundLikeThat supposed to be?]]
66
67	[[AC:Episode 102: Situation: Comedy]]
68	* The audition scene has Sam & Max have to reenact the shooting scene from ''Film/OldYeller'', with Max as the boy and Sam as the dog. Sam uses shaving cream to make himself look rabid, then shoots Max with the tear gas grenade launcher from episode 1 to make him cry. Then comes the part where Max has to shoot Sam, which Max is [[HeroicComedicSociopath all too eager to do]], much to [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Sam's discomfort]]. Amusingly, the Director thinks it is all an act and doesn't realize Max shoots Sam with an actual gun.
69	-->'''Sam:''' Idiot! What demonic force possessed you to do that?\
70	'''Max:''' The demonic force called acting, Sam. You should try it some time.\
71	'''Sam:''' Good thing I had my anti-hypnosis helmet built into my hat, or I'd have one too many holes in the head.
72	** When the Director asks the pair if they've even seen the film, Sam notably comments that he's "not into horror movies."
73	* The Midtown Cowboys segment has plenty of amusing bits, both when you perform the script right and when you mess up.
74	** "They're probably hiding a cow!"
75	--->'''Mr. Featherly:''' Open up in there! I know you're hiding a cow!
76	** You can actually open the door ''without'' disguising the cow, which Mr. Featherly will call you out on.
77	--->'''Mr. Featherly:''' Alright! I know you're hiding a- oh for pity's sake! This is never going to work if you're not even going to hide the cow!\
78	'''Director:''' Cut!\
79	'''Mr. Featherly:''' Amateurs!
80	** You can disguise the cow in one of three ways, using either the lampshade, the plate, or the shaving cream. When you let Mr. Featherly in after disguising the cow, you can straight up [[RefugeInAudacity admit to the disguise]] and ruin the scene. Mr. Featherly is not amused.
81	--->'''Mr. Featherly:''' Cut!\
82	'''Director:''' Don't say cut. [[HeyThatsMyLine That's my job]].
83	** If you use the shaving cream and say that the cow is Santa, Max ends up falling for it. Sam has to remind him they're shooting a TV show and that it's a disguise... [[EpicFail while filming]], leading to the above line again.
84	** If you use the shaving cream and claim the cow to be [[UsefulNotes/KentuckyFriedChicken Colonel Sanders]], [[DudeNotFunny Mr. Featherly takes huge offense]].
85	** When Bessy lets out her moo, you have to come up with an interpretation for the moment. Among the options is "Moon". Choosing this line will have Max add with the Hey diddle diddle line before realizing that doesn't work. Even better is the director's deadpan tone when she cuts the scene in contrast to how she shouts cut for all the other fails.
86	--->'''Sam:''' She said "Moon".\
87	'''Max:''' As in the cow jumped over the... [[ExplainExplainOhCrap I mean]].. Oops.\
88	'''Director:''' Cut.
89	** The one line for the eaten script which Max is all too eager to say, which is "Better get the serious toothpaste!"
90	* Max sharing an anecdote on Myra's show about his pal, Sam, and something that happened the other day.
91	-->'''Myra:''' Anecdotes about other celebrities, even ones as dubious as you two, are always welcome!\
92	'''Max:''' Well, I was battering this purse-snatcher with a broken parking meter and screaming "Die! Why won't you die?!" and Sam said, "You crack me up, little buddy!"\
93	'''Myra:''' ...The point being?\
94	'''Max:''' I crack Sam up!
95	* Listen to the office's answering machine for a golden moment easily missed.
96	-->'''Max:''' Sam, it's me. Open the window! I'm trapped on the ledge again!\
97	'''Max:''' Sam, come on! I have to pee! And the PTA is here, and they're carrying signs!\
98	'''Max:''' Hey, Sam, it's me again. I found a way to solve all three of my problems at once! But I'm gonna be needing bail.
99	* The contents of Bosco's gumball machine for the episode:
100	-->'''Sam:''' It looks like candy, but I'm pretty sure it's fish tank gravel again.\
101	'''Max:''' I've had worse.
102	* Bosco's attempts to talk like the type of people he's disguised as is a golden moment throughout the rest of the season.
103	-->'''Bosco:''' ''[As a British gentleman]'' Pip pip! Honey Nut Cheerio.
104	* You can actually attempt to arrest Bosco for this:
105	-->'''Sam:''' Hands in the air Bosco! You're coming with us!\
106	'''Bosco:''' Good heavens! What is the meaning of this?!\
107	'''Max:''' We're taking you in for masquerading as a man of class and distinction!\
108	'''Bosco:''' What the devil? Surely you jest?\
109	'''Sam:''' Yes, surely we do. On the bright side, you can add the police to your long list of paranoia-induced nightmare subjects.\
110	'''Bosco:''' Mmmmm-Pshaw! Piffle! Pish-posh!
111	* This:
112	-->'''Sam:''' Do you have any...[[SchmuckBait ketchup?]]\
113	'''Bosco:''' Nope - oh, wait!\
114	'''Max:''' Got you!\
115	'''Bosco:''' Blast! Drat! Dash it all!
116	* After Hugh Bliss proves that he can read Sam's mind, Max request that Hugh reads his mind next.
117	-->'''Hugh:''' ''[looks at Max for a few seconds, then gasps]'' Oh my! [[AMindIsATerribleThingToRead That's unspeakably depraved]]!\
118	'''Max:''' Yeah, you got it! Wow, you're amazing.
119	* While on Cooking Without Looking:
120	-->'''Sam:''' And with the magic of TV cooking show time... ''[looks at the casserole he made]'' Ta-da! You've successfully perverted the laws of God and man.
121	** The entire segment is filled with funny moments, especially once you finally get to making the recipe and have to choose from ingredients.
122	--->'''Sam:''' ''[while shaking a spice shaker into the pot]'' Can we say enough good things about roofing tile shards?\
123	'''Max:''' Obviously, we can't!
124	** After clicking on a set of knives labelled "Dangerously Sharp Instruments":
125	--->'''Max:''' Hey Sam, can I-\
126	'''Sam:''' No.
127	** This short, but funny exchange between Sam & Max on the set:
128	--->'''Sam:''' What do we do now?\
129	'''Max:''' Make food?\
130	'''Sam:''' Brilliant!
131
132	[[AC:Episode 103: The Mole, The Mob and the Meatball]]
133	* Seeing what the duo decide to save from their previous cases is always fun, but the the best one has to be the memento from this one, as revealed in the next episode: it's poor Leonard!
134	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6LxcdKfKQI The Ted E. Bear's theme song]], which [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial repeatedly iterates that there aren't any mobsters around]]:
135	-->Ted E. Bear's is oodles of fun\
136	Slots and sandwiches and poker and guns\
137	And look: no mobsters, nary a one!\
138	Just you and me and Ted E. Bear!
139	* Bosco's gumball machine:
140	-->'''Sam:''' Hmmm. Are those-? Yep. They've resorted to filling the candy machine with antidepressants.\
141	'''Max:''' How depressing.
142	* At this point, Bosco's B-TADS system won't restrict you from using your gun in the store anymore, so you can shoot your gun in the store, which produces hilarious reactions from Bosco:
143	-->'''Bosco:''' He's got a gun, and he doesn't know how to use it!
144	* Saying the code phrase "Does the carpet match the drapes?" to ''absolutely everyone''. You'll get hilarious results. Example:
145	-->'''Sam:''' Does the carpet match the drapes?\
146	'''Mob guard:''' I don't know. I set fire to the drapes. [[PyroManiac I love to watch things burn]].\
147	'''Max:''' Hey, me too!\
148	'''Sam:''' Sorry I asked.
149	** The best part is, the entire RunningGag is also a brilliant subversion of a SustainedMisunderstanding. Given that the response to the code phrase is "Well, I never!" and a slap to the face- in other words, how a ''lot'' of people would respond to being asked such an intimate question by a stranger- the game seems to be building up a joke about Sam and Max mistaking someone, or even multiple people, for the mole. Instead, '''not a single person''' ever seems to get offended by the question, with most of them either ComicallyMissingThePoint or immediately volunteering TooMuchInformation.
150	** Then, when you finally get to the mole in question, he reveals himself to have turned traitor when Sam says the phrase. It wouldn't necessarily be that funny if not for how Sam responds.
151	--->'''Ted E. Bear/Harry:''' The code phrase! Idiot! These guys are Freelance Police! Apparently, they still haven't figured out that I've switched sides!\
152	'''Sam:''' [[CasualDangerDialogue He's right, Max. We still haven't realized that.]]
153	* If you talk to Lovey Bear (the guy at the front door) about the mole thing.
154	-->'''Sam:''' I hear you have a "mole problem"?\
155	'''Lovey Bear:''' Hey! It's a genetic condition! You should have seen my father's back!\
156	'''Sam:''' Holy cow! I'm actually being too subtle!\
157	'''Max:''' First time '''that's''' ever happened!
158	* In another conversation with Lovey Bear, Sam and Max discuss the case heedless of their audience.
159	-->'''Sam:''' Call it canine intuition, but I think our mole discovered something about these teddy bears he shouldn't have! We've got to find him and get to the bottom of this!\
160	'''Lovey Bear:''' You're lucky this mask doesn't have earholes, or I might have heard that secret conversation you just had right in front of me.\
161	'''Max:''' What? Sorry, I wasn't listening.
162	* Try taking your megaphone out during the chase scene.
163	-->'''Max:''' Pull over! ''[beat]'' Oh wait, I forgot we were the ones being chased. Never mind!
164	* Max's overly-dramatic fake death during the ShootYourMate scene. "O, death, where is that guy Sting?"
165	* [[SchmuckBait Try taking your gun out in the middle of Ted E Bear's.]]
166
167	[[AC:Episode 104: Abe Lincoln Must Die]]
168	* The very first scene, where the Freelance Police use the Organic Listening Device for a crank call.
169	-->'''Bug:''' '''I. Am. Reborn. I will FEAST on your entrails, and DEVOUR your soul!'''\
170	'''Max:''' ''[giggles like a schoolgirl]''\
171	'''Sam:''' You know, Max, sneaking the Bug into that exorcism was an uncharacteristic stroke of genius.\
172	'''Max:''' Demonic possession is the gift that keeps on giving!
173	** Even better, you can use this recording while calling Meesta Pizza:
174	--->'''Max:''' So what did they say?\
175	'''Sam:''' The toppings cost extra, and they're all out of entrails.
176	** For even bigger laughs, use the recording when phoning the White House:
177	--->'''Agent Superball:''' I asked you not to call me at work again, dear.
178	** Or use it on Lincoln once he enters the election:
179	--->'''Lincoln:''' You think you can take me, punk!? I will knock your ''[bleep]'' so far up your ''[bleep]'' you'll be ''[bleep]'' for a week!\
180	'''Sam:''' It sounds like the Great Emancipator has some anger management issues.
181	** Or use it on Sybil once you've given her the campaign flyer as an application for her dating service:
182	--->'''Sybil:''' Is this Mr. Cthulhu calling again? ''[...]'' Look, I already explained to you, our clients are looking for someone younger! Now please stop calling me!
183	* Keeping on topic with the bug, Some of the people you can have him spy on can yield some amusing results.
184	** Superball may or may not be aware of the Bug's presence.
185	--->'''Superball:''' Please step away from the door, sir. Yes, that is all I say.
186	** Use it on Hugh Bliss on the otherhand, and he shows just how aware he is.
187	--->'''Hugh Bliss:''' The Magic and illusion of wonder is a dream of your imagination! And I know you're listening Sam and Max.\
188	'''Sam:''' Ah. Creepy.
189	** Use it on the president, and he gives an amusing response. Even more amusing is that he will say this even after Chuckles has left the room.
190	--->'''President:''' Well, don't that beat all? Chuckles, check this out! When you fold the dollar bill this way, it looks like [[ToiletHumor he's pootin']]!
191	** Meanwhile, spying on Chuckles while he is in the room seems to be his response.
192	--->'''Chuckles:''' Put that down, Mr. President! Don't make me get a hose!
193	* "Do you remember your first kiss, Max?"
194	-->'''Sam:''' ''[silence]''\
195	'''Max:''' Were you going to ask me something, Sam?\
196	'''Sam:''' [[YouDoNotWantToKnow I was, but then I decided that I'd rather not know.]]
197	* As Sam and Max discuss the reveal that the President is apparently hypnotized, Max chimes in with this:
198	-->'''Max:''' This is the second most entertaining hypnotic trance I've ever seen.\
199	'''Sam:''' What's the first?\
200	'''Max:''' Watermelon.\
201	'''Sam:''' [[HypnoFool Buck-cluuck!]]
202	* The President recalls the duo entering the White House before Whizzer came in, calling them imposters of the interpreters he was supposed to meet:
203	-->'''Sam:''' Were they walking around, examining everything, and engaging everyone in pointless conversations?\
204	'''President:''' Those are the ones!\
205	'''Max:''' Those accursed clones! When will their devilish mimicry end?
206	* The President also asks for assistance from interpreters to understand Whizzer in the first place, even though he speaks perfect English.
207	** You can completely change Whizzer's speech about the [[ItMakesSenseInContext Mount Rushmore Soda Abuse Prevention Program]] to the President, turning it into...
208	--->'''Sam:''' "Prepare to die, capitalist oppressor! Men, launch the dragoons! Our victory is at hand! Aim destructo-beam at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Fire on my mark. 3...2..."\
209	'''Whizzer:''' Wait! I heard that! That's not what I said at all!\
210	'''Sam:''' [[BlatantLies I must have misheard that.]]
211	** Or this:
212	--->'''Sam:''' [[HoYay "Don't you realize that I have always loved you?"]]
213	* After accidentally decapitating the President, revealing him to be a literal puppet, Sam and Max fumble for excuses. Well, excuse, singular, in Max's case:
214	-->'''Max:''' SAM DID IT!
215	* Max's election speeches, especially this one:
216	-->'''Max:''' This election reminds me of a droll story. It seems Chester A. Arthur and the Pope were kayaking down the Amazon one day. Suddenly a tiny Candiru fish swims up the Pope's ''[[SoundEffectBleep (censored)]]'' and lodges itself in his ''[[SoundEffectBleep (censored)]]''. Arthur grabs the Pope's ''[[SoundEffectBleep (censored)]]'' pliers and ''[[SoundEffectBleep (censored)]]'' swelled up like a melon. And the Pope says, "Thanks! Last time that happened, [=McKinley=] wanted to ''[[SoundEffectBleep (censored three times)]]''!" ''[{{beat}}]'' No wait! Wait! Wait, I think I told it wrong.
217	** It's doubly funny if you understand the joke he's trying to tell. If you know what a [[OrificeInvasion candiru fish]] is, you can mentally fill in the first two bleeps with [[spoiler:piss]] and [[spoiler:dick]], respectively, and the last three with [[spoiler:[[HoYay suck it out]]]] to get the general idea.
218	* During talks between the President and Whizzer, you can take the chance to offer him a soda. Due to his... [[PottyEmergency bladder issues]], he instantly needs the bathroom. You can then say that Whizzer wants to see Lincoln's bedroom. [[ToiletHumor You can see where this is going...]]
219	-->'''President:''' Aw, you do ''not'' wanna go there, son! Place smells like a mausoleum in winter. But if you really wanna see it, it's down the hall to your right. ''[Whizzer darts away]''\
220	'''Max:''' Sam, did you just make an innocent person defile one of the most famous rooms in U.S. history? ''[Whizzer returns, relieved]''\
221	'''Sam:''' Apparently, I did.
222	* The [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment War Song]], particularly [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5L2Gve7oh_4 Sam and Max's reactions to it]].
223	-->'''Sam:''' Well...\
224	'''Max:''' Let's not do ''that'' again!
225	* Getting Superball away from the door to the War Room requires telling him he can go on vacation, which he can only do on a federal holiday. If you change the date on the calendar to April 1st...
226	-->'''Sam:''' Max says you can take a vacation. It's April Fool's Day!\
227	'''Superball:''' With all due respect, sir, that's kind of mean.
228	* Once the Freelance Police have access to the War Room, one of the potential targets on the computer is [[Franchise/{{Superman}} Krypton]]. If you fire an ICBM at the thing, you're just told it'll be 26 million years until it actually gets there.
229	-->'''Max:''' Awwwww!\
230	'''Sam:''' Better pull up a chair, little buddy.
231	** There's also Max's various one liners when Sam fires a nuke at something. For example, when targeting Bosco's Inconvenience:
232	--->'''Max:''' Attention, Bosco shoppers, cleanup on aisle ''everything''.
233	* Once again, Bosco's gumball machine:
234	-->'''Sam:''' Novelty gumballs. Shaped just like the real thing, but made of inedible plastic.\
235	'''Max:''' Fool your friends, annoy your grandparents!
236
237	[[AC:Episode 105: Reality 2.0]]
238	* This bit:
239	-->'''Sam:''' What does this Internet doohickey have to do with being an elf?\
240	'''Bosco:''' ''Half''-elf. It's 'cause everyone on the Internet has to pick an avatar. Like a dwarf or orc or [[{{GIRL}} a hot, young 15 year old girl curious about the adult world and willing to experiment]].[[note]]In the 2020 re-master, this line was changed to a reference to {{Troll}}s.[[/note]]\
241	'''Max:''' I didn't think it was possible, but he's actually ''less'' creepy as the elf.\
242	'''Bosco:''' '''''Half'''''-elf, foo'![[note]]Changed to "troll" in the remaster[[/note]]
243	* Speaking of Bosco's ''half''-elf avatar, try hitting him with the wooden sword you get from him.
244	* The second to last bit of the "Do you have any..." gag.
245	-->'''Sam:''' Do you have any... self-respect?\
246	'''Bosco:''' Nay!\
247	'''Max:''' Ha ha! Tricked you!\
248	'''Bosco:''' ''[in his regular voice]'' No, I understood the question. I understood it ''all too well''.\
249	'''Sam:''' You sure know how to suck the fun out of everything, Bosco.
250	* In a shake-up of the RunningGag, when observing the gumball machine, Sam doesn't note its contents, but that it looks notably banged up. This prompts Max to explain:
251	-->'''Max:''' A gang of about five dentists came through here the other night, and four of them just started beating the hell out of it!\
252	'''Sam:''' What did the fifth one do?\
253	'''Max:''' He just kept sobbing and saying "Why can't we all just get along?".
254	* Since Max is President of the United States now, he's replaced the old carpet in the Freelance Police's office with a Presidential one when he made it the new Oval Office. If you walk outside, you can see the old carpet in a nearby dumpster. Sam wonders why he and Max had to have a perfectly good carpet thrown away. Max answers that [[CallBack it didn't match the drapes.]]
255	* The C.O.P.S. - Curt, an [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osborne_1 Osborne 1]] running a [[MachineMonotone low-quality]] voice synthesiser; Bob, a telephone who speaks like an upbeat [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Automated_attendant automated voice message system]] and/or gameshow host; Bluster Blaster, a 1980s arcade machine prone to netspeak and ''VideoGame/{{Sinistar}}''-esque taunting; and Chippy, a ''[[VideoGame/{{Pong}} Ping]]'' console that [[IntelligibleUnintelligible speaks in beeps]] - and their motivational song, "Useful to Boot". All four verses of it. So funny, it plays in its entirety over the episode's end credits.
256	** Sam unwisely pursues a line of questioning about how the C.O.P.S.' meetings help them feel better about being several decades out of date, prompting a demonstration:
257	--->'''Sam:''' So, you just sit around and make each other feel better about yourselves?\
258	'''Chippy:''' ''[bleeps]''\
259	'''Bob:''' Of course! We'd almost forgotten! If you'd like to hear our motivational song, press or say "Yes" now!\
260	'''Max:''' ''No!''\
261	'''Curt: R[-ESPONSE NOT RECOGNISED-]. B[-EGIN SONG-].'''\
262	'''Chippy:''' ''[begins playing an electronic riff as Sam and Max exchange looks of disbelief]''\
263	'''Curt: [[PoliticalOvercorrectness D]][-[[PoliticalOvercorrectness IFFERENTLY]]-[[UnusualEuphemism USEFUL]] COMPUTERS AND GUESTS-].'''\
264	'''Bob:''' [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%22Hello,_World!%22_program Hello, World!]] We're the C.O.P.S.!\
265	'''Bluster Blaster: [[NoIndoorVoice BEWARE! WE WILL NOT BE SUPPRESSED!]]'''\
266	'''Chippy:''' ''[plays a line of filler]''\
267	'''Curt, Bob, Bluster Blaster:''' We are useful! We are fruitful!\
268	We are useful! Everything that boots is beautiful!\
269	We are useful! We are fruitful!\
270	Built to last! The future is the past!\
271	'''Chippy:''' ''[plays a final flourish]''
272	** Sam is initially lost for words... and soon wishes he'd stayed that way:
273	---> '''Sam:''' Your motivational song is, um... nice.\
274	'''Bluster Blaster: IT'S AWESOME!'''\
275	'''Bob:''' But wait! There's more!\
276	'''Max:''' That's all right, really.\
277	'''Chippy:''' ''[begins playing the electronic riff again]''\
278	'''Bob:''' Computers today just confound and confuse!\
279	'''Curt: C[-OMFORT IS WAITING IN YESTERDAY-]'[-S NEWS-].'''\
280	'''Bluster Blaster: SELECT A WEAPON! YOU MUST CHOOSE!'''\
281	'''Chippy:''' ''[plays another line of filler]''\
282	'''Curt, Bob, Bluster Blaster:''' We are useful! We are fruitful!\
283	We are useful! Everything that boots is beautiful!\
284	We are useful! We are fruitful!\
285	Built to last! The future is the past!\
286	'''Chippy:''' ''[plays another final flourish]''
287	** Showing rather less capacity for learning from his mistakes than the machines, Sam continues to ask about the song:
288	--->'''Sam:''' Did you write the words to that song yourselves?\
289	'''Curt: CPU [-COMPLEXITY NOW SUFFICIENT FOR CREATIVE OUTPUT-].'''\
290	'''Bob:''' Stay on the line for Verse Three: Revenge of the Motivational Song!\
291	'''Max:''' ''[as Chippy begins playing the electronic riff again]'' [[INeedToGoIronMyDog I just remembered I have to steam clean my teeth and gums!]]\
292	'''Bob:''' Who needs fancy whiz-bang chips?\
293	'''Curt: O[-LDER BOARDS ARE WELL-]-[-EQUIPPED-].'''\
294	'''Bob:''' Seasoned, practised, and mature.\
295	'''Curt, Bob, Bluster Blaster:''' And together, we endure!\
296	We are useful! We are fruitful!\
297	We are useful! Everything that boots is beautiful!\
298	We are useful! We are fruitful!\
299	Built to last! The future is the past!\
300	'''Chippy:''' ''[plays yet another final flourish]''
301	** And despite Max's protests, Sam still won't drop the subject, setting off a fourth verse:
302	--->'''Sam:''' What's the title of your motivational song?\
303	'''Max:''' Sam, quit encouraging them!\
304	'''Bob:''' ''[as Chippy starts up yet again]'' Now playing at a C.O.P.S. meeting near you, Verse Four of "Useful to Boot"!\
305	'''Curt: Y[-OU CANNOT IMPROVE THE WHEEL-].'''\
306	'''Bluster Blaster: FLIMSY SELF-ESTEEM MUST YIELD!'''\
307	'''Bob:''' You're only obsolete as you feel!\
308	'''Chippy:''' ''[plays a line of filler; Sam looks at Max and shrugs helplessly, while Max mimes sticking his finger down his throat to induce vomiting]''\
309	'''Curt, Bob, Bluster Blaster:''' We are useful! We are fruitful!\
310	We are useful! Everything that boots is beautiful!\
311	We are useful! We are fruitful!\
312	Built to last! The future is the past!\
313	'''Chippy:''' ''[plays one last final flourish]''
314	* When observing the Reality 2.0 version of Bosco's gumball machine, Max questions where [[VideoGame/PacMan "the big honkin' ones that let you eat ghosts"]] are. The Internet appears to mention that said pellets have been removed, as Reality 2.0 caters to a spectral clientele.
315	-->'''Max:''' [=AIs=] are always ''soooo'' PC.
316	* In Reality 2.0, the C.O.P.S. control the world's parameters: Bob controls avatar height, Curt controls avatar width, Bluster Blaster controls gravity, and Chippy enables (or disables) pop-ups. Sam must use the computer bug (the Reality 2.0 version of the Organic Listening Device) on the first three to get five gold coins for a wooden longsword from Bosco. The bug's effects on the C.O.P.S. are... unexpected:
317	** The usually brusque Curt becomes a mellow stoner under the effects of the bug:
318	--->'''Sam:''' Hi, buddy! We brought you a house-warming gift!\
319	'''Curt: P[-ERMISSION DENIED-].'''\
320	'''Max:''' Overruled.\
321	'''Curt:''' ''[as Sam puts the bug on him, causing him to stop floating in mid-air and sink to the ground]'' '''W[-IDTH MAINTENANCE ROUTINE-]... [-COMPROMISED-].'''\
322	'''Max:''' ''[studying their new flattened physiques]'' Look, Sam! We're two-dimensional!\
323	'''Sam:''' This feels... [[ComicBook/SamAndMax oddly familiar.]]\
324	'''Curt: H[-OLY CRAP-]. T[-HAT-]'[-S HILARIOUS-], [-BRO-].'''\
325	'''Max:''' Yikes. That dude's buggin'.\
326	''[if Sam talks to Curt again while the bug is in effect]''\
327	'''Sam:''' Are you feeling all right?\
328	'''Curt: I'[-M TRIPPIN-]' [-DAWG-]. W[-HAT-]'[-S UP WITH THAT-]?'''\
329	'''Max:''' Sounds good to me!
330	** Bob's usually suave tones suddenly wobble in pitch and timbre once he has been bugged:
331	--->'''Sam:''' [[Film/Scarface1983 Say hello to my little friend!]] ''[puts the bug on Bob]''\
332	'''Bob:''' [[LiteralMinded Hello!]] I'm sorry, that is not a valid selection. Please try a- ''[gasps and coughs]'' Character height... ma-alfunction... ''[stops floating in mid-air and sinks to the ground]''\
333	'''Max:''' ''[as he and Sam shrink down to several inches tall]'' OMG, Sam. Look how cute I've become!\
334	'''Sam:''' You've never been more marketable in your life, ''little'' buddy!\
335	'''Max:''' [[LamePunReaction Don't ruin this.]]\
336	'''Bob:''' ''[his voice wobbling uncontrollably]'' My voice! My beautiful, ''soo-oo-oothing'' '''voi-i-ice!'''\
337	'''Max:''' Someone get that guy a lozenge!\
338	''[if Sam talks to Bob again while the bug is in effect]''\
339	'''Sam:''' Are you okay there, height monitor?\
340	'''Bob:''' ''[voice still wobbling all over the place]'' Everyone ''lo-o-oves'' my voice. It is soothing and calm and '''ohhh'''-so-very-pleasant!\
341	'''Max:''' [[BrutalHonesty Uh, that's a negatory, ace.]]
342	** And the usually loud and aggressive Bluster Blaster turns out to be a secret showtunes fan:
343	--->'''Sam:''' You look lonely. ''[puts the bug on him]''\
344	'''Bluster Blaster: NEGATIVE! I AM SUPREME!''' ''[as the bug takes effect, causing him to stop floating in mid-air and sink to the ground, his voice rising in pitch]'' '''GRAVITY... FAILING... MUST HOLD... ON...'''\
345	'''Max:''' ''[jumping ten feet in the air]'' Wheee!\
346	'''Sam:''' ''[likewise]'' Sir Isaac Newton must be turning over in his grave!\
347	'''Max:''' Literally!\
348	'''Bluster Blaster: I... I... I FEEL... [[Theatre/WestSideStory PRETTY, AND WITTY, AND GAYYYY!]]'''\
349	'''Max:''' Turn him back! TURN HIM BACK!\
350	''[if Sam talks to Bluster Blaster again while the bug is in effect]''\
351	'''Sam:''' Are you feeling okay, master of gravity?\
352	'''Bluster Blaster: I FEEL... I FEEL... I FEEL LIKE A MORNING STAR! I FEEL... I FEEL...'''\
353	'''Max:''' '''I'm''' not okay! '''''I'M NOT OKAY!!!'''''
354	** Putting the bug on Chippy... gets him to start playing a wild beat nonstop until Sam takes the bug back. It does nothing to progress, but it is still mildly amusing nonetheless.
355	--->'''Max:''' That's not very helpful.\
356	'''Sam:''' No, but it is catchy.
357	* There may not be many commands available for the text adventure segment at the end of the episode, but there's still plenty of hilarity contained in them:
358	** If you go to Sybil's office, there is a jewel-encrusted idol and a rare foil card there. If you try to "get" the idol...
359	--->'''Parser:''' You don't see a need for that.\
360	'''Sam:''' Wha- hey!\
361	'''Max:''' Define "need".
362	** If you try to use the +2 sword on the Shambling Corporate Presence, it tries to take a bite out of it.
363	--->'''Sam:''' Hey!\
364	'''Max:''' ''[sarcastically]'' Nice one, Galahad!
365	** If you go to the East End of the street and select "Get Bosco's"...
366	--->'''Parser:''' Taken.\
367	'''Sam:''' Well, that warped at least fifty rules of physics.\
368	'''Max:''' Rules are for marking straight lines and lesser mortals.
369	** Each screen of the text adventure except the starting screen has an unorthodox "Go" command:
370	--->''[Sybil's office: "GO BONKERS"]''\
371	'''Parser:''' You do not see any "bonkers" here.\
372	'''Sam:''' Well, I don't have to look far.\
373	'''Max:''' Where's the bonkers, Sam?\
374	'''Sam:''' Closer than you know, little buddy.\
375	''[East End: "GO BALLISTIC"]''\
376	'''Parser:''' That word is not in my limited dictionary.\
377	'''Max:''' It's listed three times in mine!\
378	''[Depths of Despair: "GO LIBERTARIAN"]''\
379	'''Parser:''' You can't go that way.\
380	'''Sam:''' Maybe this isn't the best time to be picking political affiliations.\
381	'''Max:''' [[CorruptPolitician I never affiliate with anyone who isn't prepared to drown me in money.]]
382
383	[[AC:Episode 106: Bright Side of the Moon]]
384	* Bosco has spent the season dressing up unconvincingly as various nationalities. Then, when you meet him in this episode:
385	-->'''Sam:''' Hey Bosc- Oh dear God.\
386	'''Bosco:''' ''[dressed as '''''his mother''''']'' Didn't I tell you boys not to track mud in the store? I just vacuumed!\
387	'''Max:''' Hey, lady. We're looking for Bosco. Have you seen him?\
388	'''Bosco:''' Of course. He's my son!\
389	'''Sam:''' You're... your own mother?\
390	'''Max:''' Is there no escaping these infernal time-travel paradoxes?
391	** When you start asking the "Do you have any..." gag that was present in all the other episodes, Bosco starts revealing that he has things that would have instantly solved the conflicts of previous episodes in stock. Watching Max ''freak out'' by learning that instead of going through the typical monotony of adventure games, he and Sam could've just ''bought'' the stuff they needed, is '''absolutely priceless'''.
392	---> ''Episode 1 Reference''\
393	'''Sam:''' Do you have any... completed artificial personality disorder symptoms forms?\
394	'''Bosco:''' Mm-hm!\
395	'''Max:''' You do?!\
396	'''Bosco:''' Mm-hm!\
397	'''Sam:''' Wow, that really would have come in handy earlier!\
398	''Episode 2 Reference''\
399	'''Sam:''' Do you have any... video of a chicken eating cow manure for laughs?\
400	'''Bosco:''' Mm-hm!\
401	'''Max:''' What?! No way.\
402	''Episode 3 Reference''\
403	'''Sam:''' Do you have any... global meatball sandwich positioning systems?\
404	'''Bosco:''' Mm-hm!\
405	'''Max:''' OH, you GOTTA be KIDDING me!!\
406	''Episode 4''\
407	'''Sam:''' Do you have any... 3 foot by 2 foot cue cards that say "DON'T VOTE FOR ME!"?\
408	'''Bosco:''' Mm-hm!\
409	'''Max:''' '''WHAAAAAT??!!''' I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!\
410	''Episode 5''\
411	'''Sam:''' Do you have any... instant win cheat codes for Reality 2.0?\
412	'''Bosco:''' Mm-hm!\
413	'''Max:''' '''''OHHHHOH, WHY DIDN'T WE ASK BEFOOORRRREEEE!?!?!!!'''''
414	** And after Sam has asked for all previous episodes' objects, he asks for the one you need now, Hugh Bliss tied up behind him... which Bosco doesn't have.
415	--->'''Max:''' ''[pitiful, frustrated groan]''\
416	'''Sam:''' Hey, I was on a roll!
417	** This gets turned into a BrickJoke in next season's "Chariots of the Dogs", where Sam can go behind the counter of Bosco's shop and find all of those items sitting behind the lottery tickets.
418	* This exchange:
419	-->'''Sam:''' Knowing you, Bosco, it's entirely reasonable, but how much for the earthquake maker?\
420	'''Bosco:''' ''[without his falsetto]'' A hundred trillion dollars.\
421	'''Max:''' ''A HUNDRED TRILLION?!'' You crazy, foo'!.
422	* Even better is Bosco being very GenreSavvy in the matter:
423	-->'''Bosco:''' Look, man, all I know is, I keep making up the most ''ridiculous price'' I can think of, and ''[[AdamSmithHatesYourGuts you keep payin' it]]''! So I ask you, ''who's'' the foo'?[[note]]Changed to "Who's the crazy one?" in the remaster[[/note]]\
424	'''Sam:''' Well, with a sales pitch like that, how could we ''not'' buy it?\
425	'''Bosco:''' ''[back in the falsetto]'' Remember: no earthquakes in the house!
426	* If you try to ask for the earthquake maker after everybody has been brainwashed by Hugh Bliss, it shows that even being brainwashed won't stop Bosco from demanding the ridiculously high amount.
427	-->'''Sam:''' One earthquake maker, babarkers.\
428	'''Bosco:''' A hundred trillion please.\
429	'''Sam:''' But Bosco, aren't you feeling... generous?\
430	'''Bosco:''' Yes! But I need the money for my poor sick mother.
431	* Sybil's latest job:
432	-->'''Sybil:''' [[RoyalWe We]] have become the queen of Canada!\
433	'''Max:''' I thought Music/{{Rush\|Band}} was the Music/{{Queen\|Band}} of Canada.
434	* In the final showdown between Sam and Hugh Bliss, Bliss repeatedly transforms into his bacterial form to escape his own death traps. The first time this happens, Max has this to say:
435	-->'''Max:''' My magic 8-ball '''told''' me to bring my anti-bacterial soap today! '''WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN?!?'''
436	* Interacting with the phone in the office:
437	-->'''Sam:''' I saw what you did. Keep the payments coming, and nobody has to know. Love you too, Mom.
438	** There's also this one:
439	--->'''Sam:''' Hello, Wanda? Sell! Sell!\
440	'''Max:''' I didn't know you had a stockbroker.\
441	'''Sam:''' That's the Sunflower Scout troop I'm sponsoring. Little loafers don't understand the gravity of cookie season.
442	* The end credits features Max punching out everybody to undo the hypnotism with a good amount of them being amusing beyond the punch.
443	** Jimmy Two-Teeth walks out of a microwave asking about lunch. Amusingly, with how he is acting, it is hard to tell if he was actually hypnotized or not as it honestly feels like something he would naturally say. Regardless, he is still punched.
444	** Lincoln is also punched out by Max. Because Lincoln is made of stone though, Max experiences pain from the blow as well as he lets out an ow after punching him.
445	** Bosco is the last victim of Max's punching spree and amusingly the only one whose knockout does not get cutaway upon impact.
446
447	!!!Season Two
448
449	[[AC:Episode 201: Ice Station Santa]]
450	* Asking the green elf what happened to Santa has him respond that he just came off the assembly line and thus doesn't know. Sam and Max interpret this meaning elves are made in a factory. The elf then ensure he worked at a factory before being transfered to the workshop. So then the duo asks what the factory the elf worked at made to which the elf's answer... elves.
451	* When they meet Bosco for the first time in Season 2 and they react like they saw the worst Bosco disguise EVER.
452	-->'''Max:''' Claw out my eyes Sam! I can't stand to look at it!\
453	'''Sam:''' Not if I claw out my own eyes first, little buddy.\
454	'''Bosco:''' I'M NOT WEARING A DISGUISE.
455	* After telling Sam and Max about T-H-E-M, he screams whenever anybody says "them" no matter the context. For added humor, one of the dialogue options afterward is to simply say "them" to [[VideoGameCrueltyPotential make Bosco scream]]. Do it enough times, and Bosco triggers B-Tads to [[VideoGameCrueltyPunishment hit Sam over the head]].
456	* Bosco's paranoia about the package that was delivered to him.
457	-->'''Bosco:''' Hey guys, does my package sound like it's ticking to you?\
458	'''Max:''' Not your best pick up line.\
459	'''Bosco:''' I think my package is the bomb!\
460	'''Max:''' Now THAT'S a pick up line!
461	* Two of Bosco's new gadgets: the Personal Antipathy Registration Annulment and Non-negational Omnifunctional Identification Device.
462	-->'''Max:''' That's just paranoid.\
463	'''Bosco:''' Technically, [[FunWithAcronyms yes it is.]]
464	* You can drive Bosco absolutely mad by constantly saying things that involves his store, which includes the [[CallBack "Do you have any..."]] sequence:
465	-->'''Sam:''' Do you have any-\
466	'''Bosco:''' '''''[[SuddenlyShouting NO! THIS AIN'T A STORE!]]'''''\
467	'''Sam:''' It's not?\
468	'''Bosco:''' '''''NO!'''''\
469	'''Sam:''' Oh, why didn't ya say so?\
470	'''Bosco:''' '''''AHHH!'''''\
471	'''Max:''' A trillion dollars worth of detection equipment, and he still didn't see that coming from a mile away.
472	* Max's line the first time he and Sam go down the chimney of Santa's workshop.
473	-->'''Max:''' Ho! Ho! Ho..hhh My GOD I'M ON FIRE!!
474	* [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment Did somebody say...]] ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MykhMK9h15I Birthday?]]'' This becomes a RunningGag throughout the season.
475	* Sam and Max are forced by the Spirit of Christmas Past to atone for stealing Jimmy's boxing glove in the previous season. The only way to return the glove to him in the past is to steal it from him in the present, creating a confusing StableTimeLoop. This completely fails to solve any of the problems you've caused him, except for his wife leaving him - because Sam kidnapped her in the past to get him in a position to take the glove from him in the present. And yet the Spirit still considers the debt repaid!
476	** And if that wasn't hilarious enough, Max retrieves the glove by ''punting Jimmy into the sky.''
477	* The Friendly Demon Song. Particularly some of the alternate lyrics you can have Sam sing.
478	* The interactions with the WaxingLyrical Maimtron:
479	-->'''Sam:''' We're going to report you! What's your serial number?\
480	'''Maimtron:''' [[JennysNumber 867-5309]].\
481	'''Max:''' I can't take much more of this, Sam.
482	* Trying to arrest the Maimtron doesn't work, but not because of BullyingADragon:
483	-->'''Sam:''' Seriously, you're under arrest! We're police!\
484	'''Maimtron:''' "[[Music/TheBangles All the cops in the donut shops say "way-oh-way-oh-way-ooo-aaa-ooo...]]"\
485	'''Max:''' '''That's it!''' No one quotes "Walk Like an Egyptian" to me and lives!\
486	'''Maimtron:''' "[[Music/CultureClub Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?]]"\
487	'''Max:''' Yes, and yes.
488	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiacweGnyys Making elves cry.]]
489	* The twist ending:
490	-->'''Sam:''' Say Max, do you think we should have driven off before they loaded all the presents? \
491	'''Max:''' What's the rush, Sam? [[PlayedForLaughs It's the]] [[WhamLine middle of November!]]
492
493	[[AC:Episode 202: Moai Better Blues]]
494	* Interacting with the C.O.P.S. before saving Sybil results in her cutting them after when they try to talk.
495	-->'''Sam:''' Howdy, C.O.P.S.! How's auto body business?\
496	'''Bob:''' Hello! We're working on-\
497	'''Sybil:''' AAAAAAH!\
498	'''Bob:''' Hello! We're working on the most-\
499	'''Sybil:''' HEEEEELP!\
500	'''Bluster Blaster:''' '''GEEZ! CALM DOWN, LADY!'''\
501	'''Bob:''' We're sorry! We cannot handle your request until you have taken care of the noise problem.
502	* Examining the Hypnobear in this episode will have Sam claim the strongest power of all is Hypnotism.
503	-->'''Max:''' Stronger than love?\
504	'''Sam:''' What do you think love is?
505	* Sam can ask Stinky on ways to help Sybil. She replies saying for Sybil to "[[ComicallyMissingThePoint Drop that Abe guy like a bad habit]]!" Sam tells her they meant some way more short term.
506	* This exchange with the C.O.P.S.:
507	-->'''Sam:''' Do you guys know anything about Easter Island?\
508	'''Curt: A[-CCESSING-], [-[[ReadingTheStageDirectionsOutLoud ELLIPSIS]]-], E[-ASTER-] I[-SLAND WAS FOUNDED IN-] 1914 [-BY FORMER MEMBERS OF THE 80S PROGRESSIVE ROCK BAND-] A[-SIA-].'''\
509	'''Bob:''' Located off the southwest coast of {{your mom}}, the island is considered by many to be the birthplace of television personality Ryan Seacrest, as well as American jazz music!\
510	'''Sam:''' I see you guys are still doing all your research on [[Website/{{Wikipedia}} the Internet]].\
511	'''Bluster Blaster:''' '''[[WikiVandal INFORMATION WANTS TO BE WRONG]]!'''
512	* The various ways you can annoy the sunken Moai head.
513	-->'''Sam:''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext Wanna listen to a new Glenn Miller song?]]\
514	'''Sunken Moai Head:''' ''[muffled]'' Yeah! I love Glenn Miller!\
515	'''Sam:''' [[{{Troll}} Sorry, didn't catch that.]]\
516
517	[[AC:Episode 203: Night of the Raving Dead]]
518	* The episode opens InMediasRes, with Sam and Max spectacularly unconcerned about being stuck in Jurgen's death trap...
519	-->'''Jurgen:''' You have interfered wiz my plans for ze last time, Sam und Max! Taking your souls will satisfy my dark masters once und for all! And zen I vill use my army of ze undead to '''take over ze vorld!''' ''[EvilLaugh]''\
520	'''Sam:''' DAMN YOU, JURGEN!\
521	'''Max:''' [[SideBet Ha! You owe me five bucks, Sam!]]\
522	'''Sam:''' I never thought he'd go for the cheesy EvilLaugh.\
523	'''Jurgen:''' Insolent to ze last. No matter! Oh, we shall see how you make wiz ze wisecracks after you are dead! ''[pulls a lever, and the two halves of the iron maiden either side of Sam and Max begin closing in]''\
524	'''Sam:''' [[CasualDangerDialogue Well, looks like this is it, little buddy. My whole life is flashing before my eyes.]] ''[{{Beat}}; brightens]'' I ''wondered'' where I'd left my wallet!\
525	'''Max:''' I can't even remember how we got here.\
526	'''Sam:''' ''[as the camera slowly pans up]'' Come on, Max, remember, we were back in the office, just back from Easter Island...\
527	'''Max:''' Wait, wait! Do the whole thing, with the music and all that!\
528	'''Sam:''' Oh, all right. ''[snaps fingers]''\
529	'''Title:''' ''Sam & Max Freelance Police in:''\
530	''Night of the Raving Dead''\
531	''[-based on the heretical apocrypha, "Sam & Max Meet a Guy Who [[StealthPun Sucks]]"-]''
532	* You can ask Stinky if she knows anything about a zombie factory, and she states that she [[BlatantLies worked at one]] and that it was great as long as you don't allow the zombies to unionize. Sam then clarifies that he means a factory that makes zombies. Stinky's response to this is also amusing.
533	-->'''Stinky:''' Did you say "zombies"? I thought you said "[[CallBack elves]]".
534	* You can make an attempt to cheer Lincoln up in regards to Sybil dumping him. The problem is that while Sam tries to come up with positives to being single, [[TheGadfly Max]] keeps bringing up things that make them bad.
535	-->'''Sam:''' We seem to be working at two different crossroads, Max.\
536	'''Max:''' Maybe, but this way, [[{{Troll}} I get to annoy two people at once]].
537	* "I never knew vampires were so... [[SissyVillain fruity]]."
538	** "Not ''all'' vampires, Max. Only the European ones."
539	* The Midtown Cowboys has you doing product placement for some alcohol, but you can replace it with other items. Replace the booze with the bottle of water, and Mr. Featherly is [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe absolutely baffled over the performance]] as he still performs like he is addicted but is clearly annoyed to the point that at the end, he calls the take ridiculous.
540	* When we ''finally'' get to the end of the HowWeGotHere portion of the episode, the stage is set for a huge fight between Jurgen and our anti-heroic duo, and... we cut back to Sam and Max in the death trap.
541	-->'''Sam:''' [[OffscreenMomentOfAwesome And then there was the most epic battle of our entire career!]]\
542	'''Max:''' Yeah, yeah, I remember the rest, so what do we do now?
543	* When Sam and Max come back from the dead as zombies, they're initially standing in the classic "arms outstretched in front of them" pose. However, after they realize they've become zombies, Max [[LampshadeHanging questions why they're standing like that]]; Sam admits that he thought Max knew, and they both immediately return to their normal gait.
544	* Agent Superball's participation in Sybil's bachelor screening. There's also the fact that [[SeenItAll Sybil barely acknowledges Sam and Max being turned into zombies]].
545	* Max's advice on the "best way" to kill a vampire.
546	* The VerySpecialEpisode of [[ShowWithinAShow Midtown Cowboys]] turning into blatant ProductPlacement. Especially if, instead of using the item you need, you put a bottle of water in the bag. The cutscene that ensues is ''hilarious.''
547	* Superball's name [[Film/YoungFrankenstein spooks the horses]]. [[IntelligibleUnintelligible Even in Zombie.]]
548
549	[[AC:Episode 204: Chariots of the Dogs]]
550	* This exchange:
551	-->'''Sam:''' How'd you get those DNA Samples?\
552	'''Momma Bosco:''' [[InnocentInnuendo Isn't it obvious?]]\
553	''[Sam and Max stare at the camera]''\
554	'''Momma Bosco:''' Saliva, fools!
555	* Also:
556	-->'''Bosco:''' They're just waiting to probe us and turn us all into freakish animal/human hybrids!\
557	'''Max:''' Bosco! Sam is standing right here!
558	* While Bosco is a cow, his name is read as "Boscow".
559	* Sometimes, Bosco will actually moo while he is a cow. Amusing enough, but sometimes, Sam will respond to it.
560	-->'''Bosco:''' Moo.\
561	'''Sam:''' What did you just say?\
562	'''Bosco:''' Moo, foo'! [[note]]Changed to just "Moo!" in the remaster.[[/note]]
563	* During the conversation where, after Momma Bosco has unexpectedly fallen in love with Max and he and Sam are trying to convince her that this is a bad idea, this exchange occurs if the player selects "Max is psychotic!".
564	-->'''Sam:''' Max is belligerent, recalcitrant, and quite possibly psychotic!\
565	'''Momma Bosco:''' So you're jealous, is that is? Want to keep him all to yourself?\
566	'''Max:''' ''[smiling]'' I never knew you felt this way, Sam.\
567	'''Time Elevator:''' Temporal anomaly detec-\
568	'''Sam:''' Shut up! It's not like that!
569	* Bearing in mind that usually, [[WelcomeToCorneria Sam and Max would say exactly the same thing every time the player clicks on a certain object]], [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvbtcCpWf-w the Banang scene]] just gets even funnier.
570	* The duo go back in time to collect the record contract Sam obtained in "Situation: Comedy". Past Sam & Max steal the elevator, forcing the present duo to take TheSlowPath:
571	-->'''Max:''' You... JERKS!\
572	'''Sam:''' You made us go through the last year and a half all over again!
573	* When Sam is trying to convince his preteen self to be more out-going, young Sam insults his weight. Present Sam then [[OffingTheAnnoyance pulls out his gun]], only stopping when the time elevator AI brings up that he's about to cause a paradox.
574	* Sam needed to get into a display case on the wall containing a letter by the president in Stinky's restaurant, and asked Max to distract Stinky.
575	-->'''Sam:''' Max, distract Stinky for me. ''[Starts unscrewing the display case]''\
576	'''Max:''' Oh my God! Look Stinky!\
577	'''Stinky:''' Ahh! What, what!?\
578	'''Max:''' Somebody's trying to break into your display case!\
579	'''Stinky:''' Ahhh.\
580	'''Sam:''' Real smooth, Little buddy...
581	* When you need to bring Mr. Featherly from the beginning of the universe to one of the Mariachis, Sam literally [[LiveItem shoves him into his jacket]] (to his protests), takes him out when he needs to, shoves him back in, and continues to keep him in his inventory for the rest of the episode.
582	* If you try to use the screwdriver on almost anything, Sam's response is, "I really don't want to screw that."
583
584	[[AC:Episode 205: What's New Beelzebub?]]
585	* The episode opens up in an abandoned subway where Sam is reminded about [[BrickJoke Mr. Featherly being in his inventory]] before letting him go. Somewhere in between, Mr. Featherly laid an egg within Sam's inventory. Even Sam states not to question how.
586	* [[NakedPeopleAreFunny Naked Bosco]]. Sam brings back the "Do you have any..." running gag one last time:
587	-->'''Sam:''' Do you have any-\
588	'''Bosco:''' Boy, I am standing buck naked on an empty stage thousands of miles below the surface of the earth. Does it LOOK like I have anything?\
589	''[{{Beat}}]''\
590	'''Sam:''' Do you have any [[VideoGame/ManiacMansion chainsaw gasoline?]]\
591	'''Bosco:''' I really am in hell.
592	** There's also Max's sheer horror at seeing Bosco naked, and Sam's immediate trolling of him.
593	--> '''Sam:''' Bosco's naked!\
594	'''Max:''' I'm doing everything I can ''not'' to think about that!\
595	'''Sam:''' Au naturel!\
596	'''Max:''' You're not helping!\
597	'''Sam:''' In the raw!\
598	'''Max:''' La la la, I'm not listening!\
599	'''Sam:''' ''[Speaking over Max]'' In the buff! In his birthday suit!\
600	'''Max:''' SHADDUP!\
601	{{Beat}}\
602	'''Sam:''' ...Nude.
603	* When Sam tries to mess around in Hugh Bliss' cubicle to solve a puzzle:
604	-->'''Sam:''' Distract Hugh Bliss for me!\
605	'''Max:''' Oh dear, I seem to be ''completely naked''.\
606	'''Hugh Bliss:''' ''[Sounding [[AmbiguouslyGay entirely OK with this]]]'' Oh ''dear!''\
607	'''Max:''' I hope I don't have to ''bend over provocatively'' and-\
608	'''Sam:''' [[NoJustNoReaction That's enough Max]].
609	* The bachelor party:
610	-->'''Flint Paper:''' Hey guys! you're just in time for the stripper!\
611	'''Max:''' Oh boy! ''[The Monster comes out]'' [[NoJustNoReaction OH GOD]]!
612	** Also from the bachelor party scene, after getting the partygoers to drink the fruit of knowledge cider:
613	--->'''Bosco:''' I'm naked!\
614	'''Mr. Featherly:''' '''I'm''' naked!\
615	'''[[FunnyAnimal Max]]:''' '''I'M''' NAKED! ...oh, I thought we were all just saying that.
616	** And there's this:
617	--->'''Sam:''' ...Conga line! Who's with me?\
618	'''Max:''' ''[beat, raises hand]'' ...I am!
619	* In order to solve one puzzle, Sam has to re-configure a SoundEffectBleep-enforcing profanity filter... by replacing it with Satan's grocery list. One of the words that gets bleeped out as a result is "soda", resulting in the Soda Poppers being referred to as the "''[bleep]'' Poppers" for the rest of the game. For added laughs, go to Stinky's and select "More Than Jerks" on the jukebox; the word "soda" will be bleeped out of the song's lyrics!
620	* HELL'S A-POPPIN!
621	* Finding out that Santa actually ''hates'' kids and choose the job specifically because it allows him to live in the one place that has no children and be the least likely to see any kids during his one work day of the year. Also, Sam's good-bye to Santa before you finish his puzzle.
622	-->'''Sam:''' Have a holly, jolly, eternal damnation!
623	* After escaping Sam's personal Hell:
624	-->'''Satan:''' What the devil? That Hell was practically inescapable.\
625	'''Sam:''' Sorry, Satan. Your demon impostor was no match for [[PowerOfFriendship the true power of friendship and cooperation!]]\
626	'''Max:''' Plus I ripped out his kidneys.
627	* The reveal of the Soda Poppers as the villains in Season 2 has them demonstrating their new demonic powers to Sam & Max. Each Popper has a power related to his shtick. After a demonstration of Specs and Peepers' more mundane powers, Whizzer goes last, enthusiastically telling the heroes that his power is, "''It burns when I pee!''" and then proceeding to drop his fly and then fire a ''literal'' stream of flaming urine at them!
628	* Harry Moleman talking about how it's kind of tiring having to do his entire job as Death alone, and commenting about how having an assistant or a partner would make things a lot easier.
629	-->'''Sam:''' ''[looks at Max, then back at Harry]'' Yeah, that's what you'd think, at first.
630	* Peepers seducing Sybil. No description or series of quotes can do this sequence justice, although Max does sum up the situation quite nicely.
631	-->'''Sam:''' Max, what's our situation?\
632	'''Max:''' Peepers is making the move on Sybil. She's totally into it.\
633	'''Sam:''' Just wanted to make sure [[CallBack my dementia]] hasn't kicked in early.
634	* Try talking to one of the molemen before you're allowed into hell.
635	-->'''Sam:''' Excuse me, could you tell us where-\
636	'''Moleman:''' Holy schklamoley! Do you know how to fill out a suit!\
637	'''Sam:''' ''[Annoyed, he adjusts his tie]'' ...Well, I never!
638	* Sam and Max escape from a lava filled pit using Santa's sleigh as shown in a previous episode. The escape literally [[CueTheFlyingPigs causes hell to freeze over]]. Immediately after, for the first time Sam lets Max answer the phone, and Max ''wins the Nobel Peace Prize'', and becomes the conductor of Sybil's wedding. Bonus points for how Satan battles the Soda Poppers: Never thought you'd see the Devil himself having ''a snowball fight'' with three former child stars, did you?

Context Funny / SamAndMax