Line #175 Funny/JudgeJudy


1	Just because it’s a courtroom doesn’t mean we can’t get a laugh.
2	----
3
4	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iS1VgKGYokI&feature=endscreen&NR=1 His window hit my elbow.]]
5	* Litigants who answer a direct question of Judge Judy's by saying, "Your Honor..." or "Judge Judy...", prompting Judge Judy to reply, "I ''know'' who I am."
6	* A case that went viral as "her quickest" (though it really wasn't): the plaintiff came in asking for restitution from two guys who stole her purse and the items inside, though they denied they had it.
7	-->'''Plantiff''': I had gift cards in there, my earpiece, and a calculator.\
8	'''Defendant:''' ''[[[TooDumbToLive speaking up]]]'' [[INeverSaidItWasPoison There was no earpiece in there, ma'am]].\
9	''[audience laughs]''\
10	'''Judge Judy''': I love it! I love it. ''[to Byrd]'' That's Film/DumbAndDumber. Judgment for the plaintiff for the amount of $500. That's what I think it's worth, madam. Goodbye.\
11	'''Byrd''': Parties are excused, you may step out.
12	** While everyone else is laughing, Byrd gives a DisapprovingLook at the defendants and even [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe closes his eyes in shame]].
13	** NOTE: Based on the Website/YouTube clip that has gone viral, people assume the [=YouTube=] clip is the entirety of the case. It isn't; the case is actually standard length. But that doesn't make it any less funny, and the guy is still an idiot for incriminating himself. In fact, the whole episode shows the Defendants as being TooDumbToLive as one example is that they said they were in four places at one time (In the hallway, in front of the bathroom where the purse was found, the cafe outside, and in the bathroom where the purse was found).
14	--->'''Judge Judy:''' Never in your life, if you live to be 150, will you be smarter than I am this day!\
15	'''Defendant:''' I will.\
16	'''Judge Judy:''' You will? Never happen! NEVER HAPPEN!\
17	'''Defendant:''' How do you know?\
18	'''Judge Judy:''' How do I know? Because you're there, and I'm here. That's how I know. You're there, and I'm here. That's because I was able to catch you, so far, today in ''two'' lies. Not one, but ''two''.\
19	'''Defendant:''' Tell me the two lies.\
20	'''Judge Judy:''' Listen, it's not my job to interpret for you, sir. You can watch the tape later. Then you can kick yourself in the behind with your own foot!
21	* Another EpicFail in a similar vein, in which the defendant was being sued for [[UngratefulBastard failing to repay a loan to her former friend]].
22	-->'''Judge Judy''': You don't sound like an unintelligent woman, Ms. Gebhardt. I would assume that if you hadn't made five children, you would be able to have a job and work full time and maybe drive around in a BMW. Instead, what you chose to do is, you chose to have a gaggle of children, and that was your choice, your choice to have a lot of kids. She ''[the plaintiff]'' chose to have two, have a job, drive around in a BMW. What is that your business?\
23	'''Defendant:''' It's not my business, but she had the money to give me. She loaned---\
24	''[Judge Judy grins]''\
25	'''Defendant:''' ''[quickly catching herself]'' ...she didn't loan the money. She...\
26	'''Judge Judy:''' Judgment for the plaintiff in the amount of $2000. That's all.
27	* The infamous "hop on the car" case, in which the plaintiff sued a former friend, who worked in customer service at a bank, for damaging her car when he ''literally'' hopped on top of it when the plaintiff was about to give him a ride. After throwing the defendant's witness out of court for being a smart-aleck, Judge Judy started in on the defendant himself.
28	-->'''Judge Judy:''' The reason I asked you all these questions, Mr. Hessler, was because I wondered why an otherwise intelligent person would proffer an answer to a complaint such as you did and not expect me to, verbally at least, annihilate you, and why you would expose yourself to 10 million people in this country, and probably 50 million people throughout the world, as an idiot.\
29	''[later]''\
30	'''Judge Judy:''' ''[reading from the defendant's answer]'' "I refuse to pay for something that was not my fault. She told me to hop on the car, so I did."\
31	''[audience laughs]''\
32	'''Judge Judy:''' ''[to Byrd]'' Would you entrust customer service at a bank to this kind of an idiot?\
33	'''Byrd:''' Not personally.\
34	'''Judge Judy:''' I wouldn't either. I would take my money out of that bank. I would say, "I want someone who understands responsibility, and understands the difference between a colloquialism and some sort of a whatever, 'hop in, hop on,' somebody who is reasoned and reasonable.'"
35	* In one extreme example of INeverSaidItWasPoison, a case involving a vandalized car, the defendant slipped up not once, not twice, but ''three times''. The first two times were the result of her not being able to keep her mouth shut while the plaintiff and his witness were testifying. The best part? The case would have most likely been dismissed because Judge Judy was not believing the plaintiff's version of events until the defendant started digging her own grave.
36	** Exhibit A:
37	---> '''Defendant:''' ''[while Judge Judy is examining photos of the plaintiff's vandalized windshield]'' And they didn't actually see me do it.\
38	'''Judge Judy:''' They didn't actually ''see you do it''? ''[laughs]'' Be quiet.
39	** Exhibit B:
40	---> '''Plaintiff:''' She came back with a rock of some sort, and got out and threw it at my back gas tank, and dented the gas tank portion of my car, the back left fender.\
41	'''Judge Judy:''' Just a second. Who saw that?\
42	'''Defendant:''' No one.\
43	'''Judge Judy:''' ''[laughing, turning to Byrd]'' Don't you love it? Do you love it? It's like [[SomebodyNamedNobody one of those reverse lines]]...\
44	'''Defendant:''' But no one seen me do it. No one seen me do it.\
45	'''Plaintiff:''' Our roommate was outside when she threw it.\
46	'''Judge Judy:''' ''[to defendant]'' What I'm telling you is, ''[breaking up in laughter]'' you're supposed to be quiet!
47	** And then, Exhibit C, which clinched the case for the plaintiff.
48	---> '''Defendant:''' No, I'm just saying, like, that's why he doesn't drive his car. It's not 'cause of what I di- I mean, what he thinks...\
49	''[Uproarious laughter from audience]''\
50	'''Judge Judy:''' What a dummy. Oh my God! So glad we did this case first today. ''[more audience laughter]'' Judgment for the plaintiff in the amount of $2500. You're getting the $2500 partially to fix the stuff on your car, and partially because this was the most fun I've had in a long time. ''[more audience laughter]''
51	* Not ''quite'' as extreme a case of INeverSaidItWasPoison, but still worth noting: in one case, a woman is suing another for filing false charges alleging she's responsible for her injuries. The case also involved a dentist who was involved in the scuffle. Judy dismissed her case, until the plaintiff let it slip that the defendant was already suing the dentist using the same photos as evidence, as Judy is heading back to the chambers. Judy, clearly listening, turns and asks:
52	-->'''Judge Judy:''' One more question. Over here: do you have a lawsuit against Dr. (Censored)?\
53	'''Defendant:''' [[EpicFail Yes.]]\
54	'''Judge Judy:''' Good. Judgment for the plaintiff in the amount of $5,000. NOW you can leave.
55	* This particular exchange, as seen in ''Judyisms'':
56	--> '''Plaintiff''': But he cheats all the time!\
57	'''Judge Judy''': Are you trying to justify to me the fact that you're an idiot?!
58	* In a case from 2007, a woman lost a case against another woman who had shot her dog, primarily because she didn't have a leash on the dog and blew the case out of proportion, realizing she was responsible for her dog being shot (there were signs up too). Judy was full of her usual gems, including this particular gem (when the plaintiff was asked why she kept changing her story about there being no leash):
59	--> '''Judge Judy''': Oh, I get it, it was snatched by the leash fairy!!!
60	* In one case, a woman who suspected her boyfriend was cheating on her ruined his clothes by pouring bleach all over them, and tried to claim it wasn't her fault his clothes got bleached because he grabbed at the bottle of bleach while she was holding it. She then goes on a [[InsaneTrollLogic 30 second rant]], which consisted of almost nothing but insults directed at him. Judge Judy gloriously and hilariously put her in her place - and then proceeded to rule against her in the full $5,000 amount of the plaintiff's complaint (thus also instantly dismissing the defendant's counterclaim) when the defendant ''still'' refused to shut up.
61	--> '''Judge Judy''': LISTEN TO ME! ''[{{Beat}}]'' Where do you think you are? You think you're on [[Series/TheJerrySpringerShow Springer]]? YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE NOT! You wanna go to a therapist? Go someplace el-\
62	'''Monika Lahai''': No, I don't need to see a therapist. I don't need to see a-\
63	'''Judge Judy''': LISTEN TO ME! Only one person is going to have- only one... judgment for the plaintiff in the amount of $5,000! Your counterclaim is dismissed!\
64	'''Monika Lahai''': Excuse me? NO! What about my computer? \
65	'''Judge Judy''': That's all. Your counterclaim is dismissed.\
66	'''Monika Lahai''': You just gonna walk away like that? That don't even make no sense! What about my computer? I don't get no chance to say nothin'?\
67	'''Judge Judy''': I told you- I told you: it's MY playpen, I have the word. Goodbye, go someplace else!
68	* A case rerun April 17, 2020, also involving a woman who poured bleach on her ex's clothes when she suspected he was cheating on her. In this case, she live-streamed her actions online, probably not counting on her ex suing her and bringing the video to court as evidence. When shown in court, the video exposed the defendant as unhinged and crazy - not to mention [[ClusterBleepBomb barely able to put a sentence together without cursing]] - when she was mad as opposed to the soft-spoken demeanor she presented before Judge Judy:
69	--> '''Defendant:''' ''[on video]'' All right. This is what I'm talking about right here. ... That's bleach. ... ''[after she pours the bleach over the clothes]'' Look at that changing color! That's so ''[expletive deleted]'' pretty. Look at that changing color. That is so beautiful. Yeah. Talk that ''[expletive deleted]''. Yeah, that was his ''[expletive deleted]''.
70	** The plaintiff and his witness couldn't keep from giggling while the video played, and Judge Judy's facial expression was priceless to boot. Watching the defendant try to backpedal when she knew her goose was cooked was also amusing to watch.
71	---> '''Judge Judy:''' ''[laughing]'' I still love this job!
72	* The cell phone eBay scamming case. After Judge Judy questions the scammer, who [[TooDumbToLive claims that the auction was for two photos of the cell phone instead of two cell phones]], the scammer insists that that's what they paid for. Judge Judy still references that case, understandably a fan favorite, to this day.
73	--> '''Judge Judy''': YOU'RE AN IDIOT! AND A SCAMMER!
74	--> '''Judge Judy''': Listen to me. I'm older, smarter. If you live to be a hundred and fifty, you're not going to be as smart as I am in one finger!
75	--> '''Judge Judy:''' ''[last words to the defendant before ruling against her]'' You need to find something else to do with your time, constructively, rather than make children who are going to grow up with no moral compass, like their mother.
76	* The 1997 case of Williams v. Lydon. Drummer Robert Williams (who played with such bands as Captain Beefheart, Tex and the Horseheads, and Zoogz Rift) was suing John Lydon (aka Johnny Rotten of the Music/SexPistols) for assault and lost wages. Lydon's courtroom antics were epic; he even made JJ ''herself'' laugh at one point. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTgVLDvS_GI Here's a few excerpts]].
77	* A 2015 case saw a former boyfriend and girlfriend against each other. Judy asks when they started dating, but he does not know the answer. She then proceeds to ask him when his birthday was, followed by his mother's birthday. While it may be expected that a son might have a bit of a problem remembering his mother's birthday, Judy then pointedly asks when the ''girlfriend's'' birthday was. He doesn't have a clue that her birthday is the '''Fourth of July'''! Not even Judy can resist laughing.
78	* [[https://youtu.be/I1Sd5ZGlaZ0 A case from circa 2015]], involving a woman suing a former family friend for allegedly stealing property from her house and damage caused to the property he left behind. When it became clear that she was going to lose the case, the plaintiff became upset and went into tearful hysterics while describing the destruction of her grandmother's china, accusing the defendant of stealing from his own mother, and insisting the property in question was stolen, not taken due to a misunderstanding as Judge Judy believed. When the plaintiff wouldn't shut up, Judge Judy had enough and finally shut her down:
79	--> '''Judge Judy''': You say no, I say yes. I win. I'm the Judge. Goodbye.
80	** The taper even squeezes in one at the end with his reaction: [[spoiler: "Murdered"]].
81	* One defendant answers Judge Judy's rhetorical question about rocket science. You know you've really stuck your foot in your mouth when Byrd is shaking his head.
82	--> '''Defendant''': Rocket science is when the scientists find out things about space...I think.
83	* Watching the judge deal with [[FrivolousLawsuit Frivolous Lawsuits]] can be quite amusing.
84	-->'''Judge Judy:''' Your counterclaim for stress is dismissed, because the only one here who is stressed, sir, is me.
85	-->'''Judge Judy:''' I'm going to deal with your counterclaim as fairly and expeditiously as I can. It's dismissed.
86	* Circa 2001: The judge heard a case from a teenage girl suing her boyfriend for damaging several music compact discs. The plaintiff brought the ruined albums to court with her, which turned out to be mostly hip-hop and R&B albums. Judge Judy examined the discs, which included titles such as DMX's ''Flesh of My Flesh, Blood of My Blood'' (the cover of which featured the rapper nude and covered in blood), which led to this exchange:
87	-->'''Judge Judy''': ''[to Byrd]'' Whatever happened to Benny Goodman?\
88	'''Byrd''': He was replaced by "Bootleg Booty."\
89	'''Judge Judy''': "Bootleg Booty"? ''[to plaintiff]'' Have you ever heard of Music/BarryManilow?
90	* Circa 2003?: In hearing a case in which the plaintiff was suing the defendants for assault in a dispute over a parking space, Judge Judy invited the plaintiff up to the bench so she could get a better look at the scar on the plaintiff's face.
91	-->'''Judge Judy:''' Don't have it fixed. When you get older, it'll just be another one of those lines that starts creeping around your face. ''[turns to Byrd]'' I know you don't understand that, because you have a mustache. ''[audience laughs]''\
92	'''Byrd:''' Maybe it's because "Black Don't Crack." ''[audience laughs again]''\
93	'''Judge Judy:''' ''[laughing]'' Oh no, you're not gonna escape. No one gets away, sweetheart.
94	* Circa 2005: Her Honor threw the defendant and his witness out of the courtroom when the defendant wouldn't stop interrupting the plaintiff's testimony.
95	--> '''Judge Judy''': I have other things to do today. I have to get home! ''[points to her watch]'' "Judge Judy" is on! ''[audience laughs]''
96	* In a case involving a very young little girl, Judge Judy spoke very gently and calmly to her. After asking her questions about the case, she asked a few others (either to get a laugh or to judge the child's ability to tell the truth), including asking if the child thought she (JJ) was beautiful. The child answered "no," prompting laughter in the court and [[ActuallyPrettyFunny a grin and snicker from JJ]]. When asked to clarify why she thought that, the child responded, "You're old." Cue more amusement from everybody present.
97	* Circa 2003?: The smallest judgment ever awarded in Judge Judy's courtroom... ''one nickel'', in a case involving a firearms sale in which the defendant testified that the plaintiffs had originally been willing to let him have the firearms for five cents. Judge Judy literally had the defendant take a nickel out of his pocket and give it to Byrd to hand to the plaintiffs (who had been suing for several hundred dollars for the return of the firearms or their value).
98	* Whenever the judge gets impatient while doing a case before lunch and tells the litigants to hurry it up.
99	--> '''Judge Judy:''' My question is a simple one, sir, and I'm getting hungry. It's sushi day.
100	* April 23, 2018 case: a middle-aged couple were being sued by a relative for the return of a loan, and their defense was that they'd done things to help out the plaintiff as well, which ought to cancel out the debt. It turned out the following statement was correct since the defendants were talking about chores such as mowing the lawn, not money:
101	--> '''Judge Judy:''' I guarantee you, ''on Byrd's life'' ''[cue mock outraged look from Byrd]'', that the two of you never gave him any money!
102	* May 2018 case: a man is suing another driver for backing into his car. While describing the car he was driving, the man delved into the history of the car. Judge Judy cuts him off by saying "T.M.I." The litigants and the extras cracking up is a given. ''[[TheStoic Byrd]]'' cracking up is {{Adorkable}}. Even better, Judge Judy is audibly confused as to why everyone is laughing and can't get a straight answer from Byrd.
103	* An example given to a defendant who claimed she had waived a guarantee in a case involving a beauty salon visit:
104	--> '''Judge Judy:''' Let me give you an example. Let's say I buy a car - no, let's make it better, ''Byrd'' buys a car, because I want him to pay attention. The car is guaranteed for 100,000 miles from stem to stern. Byrd has the car for three days. The car blows up. Byrd takes the car back to the dealership and complains, saying, "You gave me a guarantee." The dealer tells him, "We ''waive'' the guarantee. Because we knew that the person who put the car together wasn't wrapped too tight, so we waive the guarantee." What do you think Byrd would do? ''[to Byrd]'' What would you do?
105	--> '''Byrd:''' I'd take it to ''Judge Judy''.
106	--> ''[Judge Judy and the audience laugh]''
107	--> '''Judge Judy:''' Someone gave you very bad legal advice if they told you that ''you'', and not the ''customer'', could waive a guarantee. And I don't know whoever said that, but they must have gotten their legal license in "Close the Cover Before You Strike" School.
108	* The conclusion of a case from circa 2012. The plaintiff wanted to replace her Honda with a Prius as it was a more fuel-efficient car, but couldn't afford it. Her boyfriend offered to put the $6000 loan for the Prius in ''his'' name with the understanding that he would get the plaintiff's Honda, which coincidentally was also worth $6000. The plaintiff came to Judge Judy seeking what she was still owed per their agreement plus damages that her ex allegedly caused to the Prius.
109	--> '''Judge Judy:''' ''[to plaintiff]'' Do you have the title to the Honda?
110	--> '''Plaintiff:''' Yes, I do.
111	--> '''Judge Judy:''' Great. Sign it over to him [the defendant]. Now!
112	--> '''Plaintiff:''' Okay.
113	--> '''Defendant:''' Wait, Your Honor...
114	--> '''Judge Judy:''' ''[quietly]'' Listen to me. ''[louder, sing-song voice]'' YOU'RE GETTING... THE HON-DA! It's yours! ... You're going to pay her another $1900, then the Honda's yours. And then I can go do something that I find interesting. This is not it.
115	--> ''[The plaintiff then becomes upset when the judge tells her she's entitled only to the $1900, not to any compensation for alleged damages to the Prius.]''
116	--> '''Judge Judy:''' ''[sing-song]'' THAT'S WHAT'S HAP-PEN-ING! Understand this!
117	--> '''Plaintiff:''' Your Honor, I have evidence that he agreed to pay off the car in six months...
118	--> '''Judge Judy:''' Listen to me, dear. Your Honda was worth $6000. He's going to pay $6000 and the Honda is now his. He has already paid $4100 toward your Prius. He is going to give you another $1900 and I... ''[looks toward her office]'' am going through that door. ''[over both litigants' protests]'' SIGN IT! ''[sing-song]'' 1-2-3... 4-5-6... 7-8-9... 10... You're both going to be out of here, and then you can both deal with your problems without me!
119	--> ''[The plaintiff continues to protest about the Prius, so Judge Judy gives her the option to accept her judgment or to have the case dismissed without prejudice and go back to small claims court.]''
120	--> '''Judge Judy:''' Do you want the $1900 and do you want to sign over the car to him, or do you want me to leave you exactly the way I found you? Your pleasure!
121	--> '''Plaintiff:''' Your Honor, I beg of you to please listen to my--
122	--> '''Judge Judy:''' ''[leaving for chambers]'' 'BYE!!!
123	* 2012: A woman sues her ex-roommate for his half of the fees incurred after they were evicted from their apartment. When Judge Judy learns the defendant is a restaurant server, she asks him if he'd be upset if a customer stiffed him on a tip, and he says no.
124	--> '''Judge Judy:''' Mr. Ballard, there's really only one winner here; that's me. Because you just made yourself look foolish. What restaurant do you work in, sir?
125	--> '''Defendant:''' Um... it's a restaurant. I don't want to say the name.
126	--> '''Judge Judy:''' Why? I asked you what the name is. I'm gonna tell all the patrons they can come in and stiff you... ''[audience laughs]'' ...and they're still gonna get good service! ... Enough people are gonna see you there, and just for sport... ''[audience laughs again]'' ...just to see how you react, they're gonna stiff you. Because they're gonna say, "We saw you on ''Judge Judy'', and you said it really didn't matter to you whether you gave good service or bad service; you would not get mad if you got stiffed at the end of a meal." And enough people are gonna do that, and I guarantee you, Mr. Ballard, it's gonna irritate you. So I told you, Mr. Ballard, there's only one winner here.
127	* Owens vs. [=McDaniel=] (circa 2010): the famous "twist ending" case involving a dental-office receptionist who was suing her former coworker for allegedly breaking into the plaintiff's Email and posting suggestive photos (of the plaintiff in a swimsuit) on the dental practice's website.
128	--> '''Judge Judy:''' ''[to plaintiff]'' So you admit that you posed for these photos, and that's fine; you can do that if you like. I don't do that anymore because, you know, I think that people are entitled to keep their last meal. In fact, I don't even get ''into'' a bathing suit anymore.
129	** Later in the case, the admittedly computer-illiterate judge gave a short lecture on online privacy, which amused Byrd and the audience with how many of the terms she got right.
130	--> '''Judge Judy:''' I'd like to say something to the millions of people, hopefully, who are watching this case: nothing on the Internet is private! No picture, no Email, no Blog, no Twitter...
131	--> '''Byrd:''' Look at you! ''[audience laughter]''
132	--> '''Judge Judy:''' ...Nothing is sacred! It used to be that you'd write a journal and then put it away someplace and then maybe after you'd been dead for 50 years, people would read your journal. But these days, everything is global! So, you should never put anything on the Internet that you wouldn't want to see, as we used to say in my day, "in the front window of Macy's."
133	* This observation when ruling in favor of the plaintiff in the case of an auto accident, in which the defendant claimed he wasn't at fault because the sun was in his eyes:
134	--> '''Judge Judy:''' It may not have been your fault that the sun was in your eyes. But it ''was'' your fault that you hit [the plaintiff]. He can't sue the sun.
135	* May 20, 2019 case:
136	--> '''Defendant:''' Do you prefer "Ma'am" or "Your Honor"?
137	--> '''Judge Judy:''' I prefer "Your Majesty." You can call me "Your Honor."
138	* Pretty much whenever Judge Judy talks about Byrd or to Byrd about the case.
139	** In a number of cases, she describes the case, always in comically absurd terms, to Byrd at the start. In one case, she even remarks how the litigants deserved each other for being so stupid and, at least twice, made subsequent asides to Byrd reaffirming her stance. Byrd, [[TheStoic being]] [[TheComicallySerious Byrd]], generally gives a thoughtful nod of agreement.
140	** One case involved a couple who were accused of stealing merchandise from a department store but didn't have a receipt to show the judge and claimed they had never received one:
141	--> '''Judge Judy:''' Did you think that I was born yesterday? I have purchased merchandise for longer than you and your girlfriend have been on this earth. And whenever you buy something, you get a receipt that shows the date you purchased it, what the tax was, and all kinds of other things. ''[turns to Byrd]'' Has that been y-\
142	'''Plaintiff:''' Your Honor...\
143	'''Judge Judy:''' QUIET!!! ''[back to Byrd]'' Has that been your experience?\
144	'''Byrd:''' Oh yeah. ''[laughter from audience]''
145	* One case involved two sisters in which the Plaintiff was suing her damages to the car when the Defendant took the car without permission and hit a deer. The case got to being really ridiculous when the defendant not only admitted to crashing the car but taking the deer home and eating it. The defendant even offered some to the plaintiff.
146	--> '''Judge Judy:''' After you hit the deer with the plaintiff's car, what happen to the deer?
147	--> '''Defendant:''' I ate it.
148	--> ''Audience bursts out laughing''
149	--> '''Judge Judy:''' You ate it?
150	--> '''Defendant:''' It was good. I offered [Plaintiff] some.
151	--> '''Judge Judy:''' Is this true?
152	--> '''Plaintiff:''' Yes, she offered me some, but I'm not having any rigor mortis stew or whatever.
153	--> '''Defendant:''' It did NOT have rigor mortis.
154	* Circa 2013: The plaintiffs and the defendants, both married couples, moved in together and opened joint checking and savings accounts, but after the living arrangement went sour, the plaintiffs kicked the defendants out and closed both accounts. Later, the plaintiffs reopened the savings account in order to deposit $5,000, and later learned that the defendants had not only withdrawn the $5,000, emptying the account, but had arranged for the bank statements to be sent to their new address. First, the female defendant tried ObfuscatingStupidity by denying they had changed the address on the account and claiming she didn't know how or why the bank statements were sent to their new address. When Judge Judy castigated them for this, pointing out that the address on the bank statements matched the defendants' new address and that "The Bank Fairy" didn't make up this new address, the male defendant tried a different tack, insisting that they were entitled to the money because their names had been on the original joint account. Judge Judy didn't buy that either and ultimately awarded the plaintiffs the $5,000 they were suing for, blasting the defendants for being thieves and the male defendant for being willing to let his wife lie for him and be humiliated on national TV.
155	--> '''Judge Judy:''' If I look in my bank account that has $100 in it and I see that I now have $100,000 in it, do you think that if I wrote out a check for $90,000, went to Vegas, had myself a party - how far do you think I would get with the bank if I said, "Here's my name - Judith Sheindlin. It said that this is how much money I had in the account, so I took it out. My name was on the account, and therefore it's my money." The bank would say to me, "What are you, crazy?" and the Feds would say to me, "What are you, nuts?" and they would say to me, "Do you want your hands cuffed in the front or the back?" ''[audience laughs]'' ... That, sir, is stealing! STEALING!
156	* An early case that was quite possibly Judge Judy's shortest ever. The plaintiff came into court wearing a hat, and when Judge Judy asked her to remove it, refused. Judge Judy dismissed the case without prejudice and sent the plaintiff packing. It was all over in less than two minutes.
157	* The ending of a case involving a dispute over purses the defendant was given to sell on consignment and threw away instead.
158	--> '''Judge Judy:''' Beauty fades, dumb is ''definitely'' forever. You owe her $1100. That's all. Step out.\
159	'''Byrd:''' Parties are excused, you may step out.\
160	'''Plaintiff:''' Thank you, Judge Judy!\
161	'''Defendant:''' ''[appearing shocked, but not moving from the podium]'' For what?!\
162	'''Plaintiff:''' For my bags, that's what.\
163	'''Defendant:''' Your bags? I'm not payin' you nothin'! Whatever.\
164	'''Plaintiff:''' ''[on her way out]'' Yeah, whatever, we'll see. You supposed to be the diva.\
165	'''Defendant:''' I AM the diva!\
166	'''Plaintiff:''' No you're not!\
167	'''Defendant:''' I'M the diva! I'M the diva!\
168	'''Plaintiff:''' And I'M the baller.\
169	'''Defendant:''' Whatever.\
170	'''Byrd:''' ''[to defendant, who has yet to leave her podium]'' Boss - out that door. ''[audience laughs]''\
171	'''Plaintiff:''' A diva has class. A diva would never do what you did.
172	* Circa 2019, Judge Judy is hearing a case where a younger man struck an older man for talking to his date (who gets flirty when she's drunk). While expounding on the fact that the six-foot-huge date felt the need to deck an elderly man just barely above five-foot, she remarks that even Byrd can tell how vicious the younger man appears even before cleaning his glasses. Byrd, in the middle of cleaning his glasses, turns to give her a confused glare.
173	* The plaintiff in a 2019-20 season case who couldn't accept that Judge Judy told him he didn't have a case. He was suing for the value of property he'd had in a storage unit which was auctioned off when he neglected to pay for the unit.
174	-->'''Judge Judy:''' Then you get nothing.\
175	'''Phillip Bereal, Plaintiff:''' What do you mean I get nothing?\
176	'''Judge Judy:''' That's what I just told you, you get nothing. ''[laughs]'' If you put things in storage, who's supposed to pay for it? Me? Byrd? You get a zero. Zip-a-dee-do-dah. Nothing.\
177	'''Bereal:''' Hold on-hold on-hold on-hold-on, Judge Judy...\
178	'''Judge Judy:''' Don't tell me to hold on.\
179	'''Bereal:''' Hold on-hold on-hold on...\
180	''[At conclusion, after Judge Judy officially dismisses the case]''\
181	'''Bereal:''' Just hold on-hold on-hold on...\
182	'''Judge Judy:''' Don't tell me to hold on. If you have a storage unit, you have to pay for it.\
183	'''Bereal:''' I agree. Can I-can I...\
184	'''Judge Judy:''' Good. And if you didn't pay for it and you lost your stuff, that comes under the category of "TOO BAD."\
185	'''Bereal:''' Can I- can I say something?\
186	'''Judge Judy:''' Goodbye. ''[leaves for chambers]''\
187	'''Bereal:''' That's not what happened. Judge Judy, that's not what happened. ''[as Byrd comes to escort him out]'' Oh my God, I can't say one word?!
188	* On the topic of storage, from a case circa likely 2018, a woman was suing a landlord for supposedly getting rid of her stuff, despite the fact that she had left her stuff at the apartment ''long after'' she had moved out of the property. The Defendant was moving into the property on November 1st, and she had called him to let him know she'd be by to get her property from him. Come November 1st, she still hasn't gotten it. The problem, of course, was that, if you're familiar with how these things work, it's actually the last day of the month you have to get your things. This woman claimed she "wasn't told that", which led Judy to an obvious conclusion (more on that later). Either way, the Defendant was paying rent as of Nov. 1st, so it didn't matter. She still insisted that she was told he had to get her stuff out "through" the 1st. Judy gave up even ''trying'' to reason with her when she dropped a lovely bit of InsaneTrollLogic. And then, at the very end:
189	-->'''Judge Judy:''' I’m not buying (the plaintiff’s) story. Because how old are you?
190	-->'''Plaintiff:''' In my 60s.
191	-->'''Judge Judy:''' You’re in your 60s, and you’ve had apartments?
192	-->'''Plaintiff:''' Yes.
193	-->'''Judge Judy:''' And when you start renting an apartment, if you start the 1st of the month, you move in on the first of the month, and it’s yours.
194	-->'''Plaintiff:''' Yes.
195	-->'''Judge Judy:''' And it doesn’t belong to the previous tenant until midnight on the first of the month.
196	-->'''Plaintiff:''' That’s right! [[InsaneTrollLogic So I could have come at 1:00 AM on November 1st, and I would have been within my legal rights!]]
197	-->'''Judge Judy:''' ''(laughs)'' [[MoodWhiplash Goodbye. I’m done with you.]] ''(takes off for the chambers)''
198	-->'''Plaintiff:''' Judge Judy, I wanna say one thing: this man is a liar, and a thief—
199	-->'''Judge Judy:''' [[ArmorPiercingResponse And you’re a hustler]].
200	-->'''Plaintiff:''' I’m a ''WHAT?!''
201	* Any time litigants call Judge Judy by her first name and get scolded with a DeathGlare or the verbal equivalent.
202	-->'''Plaintiff:''' ''[after Judge Judy grants her $2,000 on her complaint]'' Thank you, Judy.\
203	'''Judge Judy:''' Uh... excuse me?\
204	'''Plaintiff:''' ..."Your Honor."\
205	'''Judge Judy:''' Much better.\
206	''[The look on the plaintiff's face as she turned to leave was priceless.]''
207	* Any time Judge Judy pokes fun at her own incompetence in math, as in a case circa 2001: the plaintiff starts to approach the bench to give Judge Judy evidence when Officer Byrd stops her.
208	--> '''Plaintiff''': Oh, I'm so sorry.\
209	'''Officer Byrd''': That's alright. It is one of the few things I do here.\
210	'''Judge Judy''': Oh Byrd, that isn't true. You do so much for me; you know how to add.
211	* Circa 2008: Judge Judy throws the defendant's witness out of the courtroom for wearing short pants to court. As she is about to rule on the case, Byrd informs her that the witness has found a pair of long pants to wear and would like to return to court. Judge Judy refuses:
212	-->'''Judge Judy:''' No, he was better without pants. ''[pauses as Byrd looks at her strangely]'' [[ExactWords I didn't mean it that way.]]
213	* Sometimes during cases, Byrd will typically work on a CrosswordPuzzle.
214	-->'''Judge Judy:''' Byrd, as soon as you finish 6 Across, will you return the property from the plaintiff to the defendant? ''[laughter from audience]'' I thought that was funny. \
215	'''Officer Byrd:''' It was hilarious. It was actually 6 Down.
216	* Circa 2014, a case involving a motorist suing a farmer for damage to his car after he hit one of the defendant's cows (the cow survived, but the car was totaled). Judge Judy came up with this analogy to explain to the defendant, who claimed he wasn't legally responsible because his cows were free-range, why his position was ridiculous.
217	-->'''Judge Judy:''' Let's say you had a herd of 150 cows, and they all got out, went to Byrd's house and decided to go through Byrd's house in order to get to whatever pasture they wanted to get to, knocked down the front door, went into the house and left [[RoadApples gifts for Byrd]] all over the house, and then went into his backyard and destroyed his yard and his pool. Are you telling me that you wouldn't feel responsible for that, sir?
218	* 2006: A young woman, after being sued for wrecking her mother's car after the two had been drinking all evening together, countersues her mother for $2000. Mom received a $2000 check from a company called "Inter-Global Lotto" and had her daughter cash it for her, and subsequently used the money on bills and a new car. Subsequently, the bank determined the check was fraudulent and took $2000 out of the daughter's bank account to cover the costs. Mom gives Judge Judy the letter she received from Inter-Global Lotto, and the judge can't believe how foolish Mom was to fall for this scam. She also scoffs at Mom's defense: Mom thinks the bank should have gone after Inter-Global Lotto instead of taking money out of her daughter's account. Judge Judy laughs this defense out of court and awards the defendant $2000 on the countersuit while dismissing Mom's case.
219	--> '''Judge Judy:''' ''[to plaintiff]'' Between you, who had the benefit of the money, and your daughter, who did not have the benefit of the money, who should pay the money back?\
220	''[Silence from plaintiff]''\
221	'''Judge Judy:''' ''[to Byrd]'' Is that a hard question?\
222	'''Byrd:''' No.\
223	'''Judge Judy:''' Is that a hard question? I've repeated it now three times! Three times! My four-year-old grandchild could give me an answer to that question, madam!\
224	'''Plaintiff:''' I think the bank should go after the company that issued the check. The company was the one who issued the check and won't honor it. That's like issuing a bad check.\
225	'''Judge Judy:''' I want you to promise me something, Ms. Knutsen. I want you to raise your right hand and say: "I will never..."\
226	'''Plaintiff:''' I will never...\
227	'''Judge Judy:''' "...go into global finance..."\
228	'''Plaintiff:''' ...go into global finance...\
229	'''Judge Judy:''' "...because I do not have the capacity..."\
230	'''Plaintiff:''' Uh... no, I don't wanna say that.\
231	'''Judge Judy:''' Yeah, well, you DON'T!
232	* In one case, Her Honor mixed up her car insurance companies.
233	-->'''Judge Judy:''' You're in good hands with Geico.\
234	'''Byrd:''' Judge, that's Allstate.\
235	'''Judge Judy:''' Oh, really? Then what's Geico? Oh, that's right - the lizard.
236	* In a dispute over ducks swimming in a communal swimming pool:
237	-->'''Judge Judy:''' I like ducks - in a duck pond, not in my pool. All you duck lovers out there, don't send me any nasty letters. I don't read nasty letters. I like ducks as long as they stay in their own place. You stay out of my way, I'll stay out of yours. If you're coming on my property, you make sure you pay your taxes. So, save your letters.
238	* Judge Judy's explanation of why she no longer goes to Costco with her husband.
239	-->'''Judge Judy:''' They have all these stands set up with free samples of food. I don't go there with my husband any more; he thought he was going out to lunch. He'd go from one stand to another to another and it was embarrassing. People stared at him saying, "Look, it's Judge Judy's husband, he's grazing at Costco." So, I don't go to Costco with him anymore.
240	* Anytime Judge Judy makes reference to the show's viewing audience of ten million people, especially when litigants make themselves look like fools.
241	--> '''Defendant:''' I didn't want anyone to know I had lupus.\
242	'''Judge Judy:''' You just told ten million people you have lupus. ''[audience laughs]''
243	* One of the dumbest counterclaims ever filed in Judge Judy's court: The plaintiff sued the defendant for selling him silver on [=EBay=] which turned out to be fake. The defendant filed a countersuit, claiming the plaintiff had been impressed with the defendant's silver prices and promised to buy more, but then broke that promise once he learned the silver he'd been sold was fake. The audience enjoyed a few hearty laughs at the stupidity of the countersuit...
244	-->'''Judge Judy:''' Which is... a-dismissed. ''[audience laughs]''
245	* A case circa 2008 in which the plaintiff was suing a tattoo parlor for tattooing her 16-year-old daughter without her permission and the costs to have it removed (to make matters worse, [[EmbarrassingTattoo the tattoo had been the name of the girl's ex-boyfriend]]). Judge Judy chastised the 16-year-old for being stupid, but found the defendants' position legally untenable: they admitted they hadn't checked the girl's ID because she ''looked'' like she was of age, and claimed they weren't legally responsible because the 16-year-old shouldn't have come into the parlor in the first place and thus was guilty of trespassing on their premises. One of the owners tried to go toe to toe with Judge Judy, and was finally shot down when the judge determined she wasn't going to get through to him.
246	-->'''Judge Judy:''' Your argument is ludicrous, sir!\
247	'''Defendant:''' So is hers.\
248	'''Judge Judy:''' No. Her argument is legitimate. The same way that you cannot buy minors alcohol, sell them cigarettes, because that's what the law says, it's the same thing, and you--\
249	'''Defendant:''' No it's not.\
250	'''Judge Judy:''' Ugh! You're dumb as a bucket of rocks.
251	* Two idiot litigants who torpedoed their case less than five minutes in by not only talking to each other when Judge Judy ordered them not to, but using [[PrecisionFStrike foul language]].
252	-->'''Defendant:''' ''[interrupting plaintiff]'' Or because you were jealous.\
253	'''Plaintiff:''' Bull-***.\
254	'''Judge Judy:''' What did you just say?\
255	'''Plaintiff:''' I said bull-***.\
256	'''Judge Judy:''' Goodbye. Case is dismissed. We're done. You two don't know where you are, that's your problem.
257	* An idiot defendant who learned the hard way that it doesn't pay to be a smart-aleck with Judge Judy.
258	-->'''Judge Judy:''' ''[announcing she's going to hear the defendant's countersuit]'' Let's do it and talk fast.\
259	'''Defendant:''' Well, if you wouldn't cut me off, I'd be able to talk fast.\
260	'''Judge Judy:''' ''[to Byrd]'' What'd he just say?\
261	'''Byrd:''' If you didn't cut him off maybe he'd talk fast.\
262	'''Judge Judy:''' Okay. Judgment for the plaintiff in the amount of $5000; your counterclaim is dismissed. We're done.\
263	''[Audience erupts in laughter]''\
264	'''Defendant:''' Wow!\
265	'''Byrd:''' Parties are excused, you may step out. ''[to defendant]'' Good move.
266	* A plaintiff who couldn't accept that her lawsuit against her mother was dismissed, even after Judge Judy had told her ''repeatedly''.
267	-->''Highlights from the case:''\
268	'''Judge Judy:''' Your case is dismissed.\
269	'''Plaintiff:''' May I...\
270	'''Judge Judy:''' Your case is dismissed.\
271	'''Plaintiff:''' I hear you. Even though I have proof th-\
272	'''Judge Judy:''' Your case is dismissed. ... If one of my children had a suspended license, I would sooner chop off all ten fingers than to rent a car in my name and give it to them to drive! A normal person wouldn't do that. ''[to defendant]'' Have you ever been psychiatrically hospitalized?\
273	'''Defendant:''' ... No, ma'am.\
274	'''Plaintiff:''' Evaluated and determined to have other problems?\
275	''[Audience laughs]''\
276	'''Judge Judy:''' No, just a second. Hey!\
277	'''Plaintiff:''' But ma'am, I'm not trying to-\
278	'''Judge Judy:''' Your case is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT DISMISSED! ''[over plaintiff's continued protests]'' Listen to me! Your... your- ... ''[when plaintiff still won't shut up, Judge Judy turns to Byrd and asks him to retrieve the plaintiff's evidence]'' Give it to me. Give that to me, please. Give that to me, please. The only thing she's gonna understand- she's gonna... she's gonna understand this very, very clearly. She's gonna understand this. ''[after Byrd hands her the paper, Judge Judy rips it into pieces]''
279	* A case involving a dispute over a dog, in which Judge Judy didn't believe the defendant's testimony that a vet had advised not to have the dog fixed until the dog was four years old.
280	-->'''Judge Judy:''' That's like saying, "Wait until the boy is about 26, and then we'll circumcise him."\
281	'''Byrd:''' ''[deadpan, not even looking up from his crossword]'' Ouch.\
282	''[Audience laughs]''
283	* A season 25 episode, in which Judge Judy catches the plaintiff trying to fool her with misleading evidence regarding the damage to his car allegedly caused by the defendant: he showed a picture of damage to the driver's side of the car and another picture of repairs on the passenger side. She mocks his EpicFail and swiftly dismisses the case.
284	-->'''Judge Judy:''' ''[breaking up in laughter]'' Is the damage you're showing me on the ''driver's'' side, and the fix that you're showing me the ''passenger'' side? That's either a yes or a no. Are they two different sides of the car?\
285	'''Plaintiff:''' Yes, they are two different sides of the car.\
286	'''Judge Judy:''' ''[[[HaHaHaNo laughing]]]'' You made a mistake. Do you know when you made a mistake? Do you know when you made a mistake, Mr. Ruiz?\
287	'''Plaintiff:''' Yes.\
288	'''Judge Judy:''' When you came here. Yeah. When you came here. Goodbye, Mr. Ruiz. Unless you have another picture you want to show me. Unless you want to show me the same side of the car.\
289	'''Plaintiff:''' ''[starts going into InsaneTrollLogic]''\
290	'''Judge Judy:''' What, did you think that I was stupid? [[GetOut Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.]]\
291	'''Byrd:''' Parties are excused.
292	* 2021: A defendant who started gushing over Judge Judy after she ruled in his favor, dismissing the plaintiff's case. He looked to be in his 40s or so and excitedly told the judge he'd been a loyal viewer since he was a teenager.
293	-->'''Judge Judy:''' ''[laughing]'' Well, thank you very much. That makes me feel old, like Methuselah.[[note]]According to Jewish and Christian faith traditions, Methuselah was a man who lived to be 969 years old.[[/note]]
294	* The judge's humorous sendoff of one plaintiff:
295	-->'''Judge Judy:''' You can kiss me goodbye. [[ExactWords Figuratively.]] Your case is dismissed.
296	* Any time Judge Judy figures the case will be over quickly and tells Byrd right at the beginning, "Don't get comfortable." An example: in a case over rent, in which the plaintiff wanted the defendant to pay for her new apartment, Judge Judy had this exchange to Byrd before starting the case, which only lasted a few minutes at best.
297	-->'''Judge Judy:''' Thank you Byrd.\
298	'''Byrd:''' You're welcome Judge.\
299	'''Judge Judy:''' Don't get comfy.\
300	'''Byrd:''' We're not going to be here long?\
301	'''Judge Judy:''' Nah.\
302	'''Byrd:''' Ok.
303	** That whole case is comedy gold. Judge Judy asks the Plaintiff her usual pre-case questions, almost as if to lull her into a false sense of thinking she'll win the case. Then Judy responds, "Perfect! [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome That's not a case.]]" The shot cuts to the plaintiff's face completely draining of colour. She then points out that the plaintiff could easily have moved in with her mother if she wanted, and even asked the plaintiff's witnesses if they had a place she could move into. The kicker? We'll let the rest of the case speak for itself:
304	---> '''Plaintiff:''' There is (a cause of action). I was forced to move into the one-bedroom. My only other option was to break the lease and pay $7,500--
305	---> '''Judge Judy:''' Well then maybe you should've done that, then you would have had a cause of action. But you '''''don't''''' by moving into a one-bedroom and expecting ''her'' to pay the difference. [[PunctuatedForEmphasis THAT! DOESN'T! HAPPEN!]] ''(cheerfully)'' [[MoodWhiplash Goodbye!]]
306	---> '''Byrd:''' Parties are excused, you may step out.
307	---> '''Plaintiff:''' ''(begins EXTREMELY fake crying)''
308	* Speaking of short cases: circa 2008, the plaintiff who sued her former friend for breaking her toilet when she sat on it. The plaintiff figured the defendant was responsible legally because the defendant had been sitting on the toilet when it broke. Judge Judy let her know she didn't have a case because there was a difference between the defendant actually ''breaking'' the toilet and the toilet breaking ''while the defendant was using it''.
309	--> '''Judge Judy:''' The toilet broke ''while she was using it''. That doesn't mean that she broke it, and that doesn't mean that she's responsible for it! Toilets break. I had one break in my apartment just last week. Cost me $650 to put in a new toilet. You think I went around to try to FIND THE LAST PERSON WHO SAT ON IT?! ''[audience laughs]'' DON'T BE STUPID! GROW UP! That's all.
310	* Anytime Judge Judy tells a litigant who forgot to bring a certain piece of evidence that said evidence "doesn't exist," and the litigant argues with her.
311	-->'''Judge Judy:''' Then it doesn't exist.\
312	'''Plaintiff:''' It does exist.\
313	'''Judge Judy:''' Not here! It may exist somewhere out in [[Literature/TheWizardOfOz Kansas along with the ruby red slippers]], but if I can't see it, it doesn't exist.
314	* 2013: She takes one of her "I'm paying for you" rants in a different direction with a litigant who had a loan with a friend for rent while both litigants are going through school on financial aid (thus ''Byrd'' is paying for it).
315	-->'''Judge Judy:''' I don't wanna pay your rent. If she's got student loans, that means ''Byrd'' is paying your rent. And I got news for you: he's got a ''lot'' of kids. ''[audience laughs]'' And he had a ''lot'' of tuition. And he doesn't wanna pay ''your'' tuition. Or your rent. ''[aside to Byrd]'' See? I took myself out of that equation.\
316	'''Byrd:''' ''[resigned]'' [[DeadpanSnarker I appreciate that.]]
317	* Circa 2000: A case involving a brawl which resulted in damage to a car.
318	-->'''Judge Judy:''' ''[to defendant]'' Pay careful attention to me, sir. Who do you think is smarter, you or me?\
319	'''Defendant:''' Probably you, because you're older.\
320	'''Judge Judy:''' Even when I was your age, I was smarter than you are now.
321	** Later in the same case...
322	--->'''Judge Judy:''' He was already ''in'' the car when you hit him?\
323	'''Defendant:''' Yeah.\
324	'''Judge Judy:''' ''[to plaintiff]'' Let me see the damage to the car. ''[muttering to herself as Byrd collects the evidence]'' Idiot. Fool. ''[audience laughs]''\
325	'''Defendant:''' Your Honor...\
326	'''Judge Judy:''' I just changed my mind. I was smarter than you were when I was ''born''.
327	* A very early case involving a woman who sued a guest at her daughter's birthday party for destroying furniture at her house while stumbling around drunk. Unbelievably, he had a [[FrivolousLawsuit counterclaim]] for the head injuries he sustained while stumbling around drunk. Judge Judy made very quick work of this.
328	-->'''Judge Judy:''' Listen to me, sir. If you get out of bed in the middle of the night, right? To go to the bathroom, and you stub your toe on a chair and you break your toe, do you sue the chair manufacturer? Huh?\
329	''[Audience laughs]''\
330	'''Defendant:''' No.\
331	'''Judge Judy:''' No. Now, the ''table'' didn't have three or four beers and move, right?\
332	''[Audience laughs]''\
333	'''Defendant:''' No.\
334	'''Judge Judy:''' So, I'm really trying to understand what was in your mind when you filed this countersuit! Her lawsuit I understand.\
335	'''Defendant:''' ''[resigned]'' OK.\
336	'''Judge Judy:''' OK. ''[aside to Byrd]'' That was easy. That was easy.
337	* Any time a litigant brings their significant other in as a witness, and the Judge herself sees right through it.
338	-->'''Judge Judy:''' Who is this person?
339	-->'''Defendant:''' She's my girlfriend, your honor.
340	-->'''Judge Judy:''' Why did you bring her here?
341	-->'''Defendant:''' Because she witnessed some of the stuff that I... going on between me and the plaintiff.
342	-->'''Judge Judy:''' What "stuff"?
343	-->'''Defendant:''' When we was in San Antonio, she gave my witness a jar of marijuana in front of the 13-year-old, and I allotted her for a character witness.
344	-->'''Judge Judy:''' Listen to me. You brought her for ''nothing''. You brought her because you came from Texas and they said "Do you have a witness", and you said "I'll bring my girlfriend". I actually would like to discourage that practice, because you brought her here to be annoying. She is no witness to anything that has ''anything'' to do with this case. Do you understand?
345	-->'''Defendant:''' Yes, ma'am.
346	-->'''Judge Judy:''' ''(to witness)'' So you can go outside.
347	-->''(The defendant's witness gets up and takes her sweet time leaving the courtroom)''
348	-->'''Judge Judy:''' [[GetOut Now. That would be a "now".]]
349	* At the start of one case, Byrd fails to notice Judge Judy entering the courtroom. After a few seconds, he finally notices her already taking her seat at the bench, and instructs the gallery (who has already risen) to rise.
350	-->'''Judge Judy:''' Did I sneak in on you?
351	--> '''Byrd:''' ''[laughing]'' Yeah.

Context Funny / JudgeJudy