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1%%Moments pages are Administrivia/SpoilersOff.%%
2Funny moments from Season 4 of ''WebVideo/JonTron''. For the main index, see [[Funny/JonTron here]].
3
4[[Funny/JonTronSeasonOne Season 1]] | [[Funny/JonTronSeasonTwo Season 2]] | [[Funny/JonTronSeasonThree Season 3]] | '''Season 4''' | [[Funny/JonTronSeasonFive Season 5]]
5----
6
7[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/flextape.jpg]]
8[[caption-width-right:350:''"This is Phil Swift with Flex Tape, I'm a prostitute!"'']]
9
10[[foldercontrol]]
11!!Full Episodes
12[[folder: Vanilla Ice: Cool as Ice]]
13* The very first shot of the episode is a frozen-over Jon, residing in an [[VisualPun ice]]-covered set. Jon goes on to explain how he tried to emulate Vanilla Ice and be "cool," [[LampshadeHanging which quickly took a turn for the literal]].
14** Jon then tells the story of how he broke into the Hall of Coolness to find a person to emulate. His options are Music/StevieWonder ("Pretty cool, but he can't see. I need eyes.), [[Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy2014 Rocket Raccoon]] ("Too topical. Also, not human."), Music/{{Cher}} ("The epitome of being dank, but I just- I don- I just don't really wanna be ''Cher'', to be honest."), and Vanilla Ice. He then goes to kill the "guards" of the museum with a hastily drawn katana.
15---> '''Jon''': [[CaptainObvious Those were not real men. Those were mannequins.]] Ooh, why do I lie?!
16** Afterwards he has understandable frustration on the whole thing.
17--->'''Jon:''' Alright, the results okay they haven't been stunning. Frankly, I feel like I might be less cool than before. But you just get to a point where it basically sunk cost, you gotta cut the loss... (Punches the framed picture of Vanilla Ice) Stupid piece of shi- Fuck, not even that fucking cool!
18* "How about we watch the literal, actual Vanilla Ice movie I didn't know existed called "Cool as Ice," because our Divine Creator has a sick, twisted sense of humor and doesn't want us to be happy."
19* Jon's reaction towards the intro of the movie where he starts to like it... Until Vanilla Ice comes along.
20-->'''Jon:''' Oh, now that's cool... I'm jumpin', I'm jivin'... (Vanilla Ice finally appears) And... It's gone... It's gone, It's absolutely gone, it's ruined, unsalvageable...
21* Jon's confusion at Ice's brick-like hairstyle.
22-->'''Jon:''' (deep breath) My boy! That shit does not belong on a head, it belongs in an exhibit!\
23''(cut to Jon dressed in a suit, demonstrating several such hairstyles in the "Hair Museum of Architecture")''
24* Vanilla and his posse stop in the middle of the street and block an intersection... [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext for some reason]][[labelnote:*]][[FailedASpotCheck One of their bikes broke down, leading to them stopping in the middle of the street but still don't bother getting out of the way so people can drive past]][[/labelnote]]. Jon wonders how you can even write a scene like that.
25--> '''Screenwriter:''' Exterior. Small Town, America. Day. They ride up to the middle of an intersection. Then, they get off. Then, they stand. Do I- Is there more, or do I get my Oscar now?
26* Jon's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ho2bN5K1bO0 reaction]] to the famous "drop that zero and get with the hero" line.
27--> '''''[Trumpets]''''' ''[[SoOkayItsAverage "MEDIOCRE BURN AT BEEEST!"]]''
28* Vanilla's rapping is so bad that Jon's eardrums eventually explode. Also counts as NightmareFuel.
29* Jon's recreation of the creepy scene where Ice wakes Kathy up with an ice cube to go out for the day. His version has him smashing the bedroom window, and saying, in a high-pitched Southern accent, "Rise and shine, bitch, we're goin' to Disneyland!" He then tosses an entire bucket of ice cubes over the girl in bed, which completely covers her. Bonus points for her visibly trying not to [[{{Corpsing}} Corpse]] under the pile of ice.
30* Ice declares his love for Kathy
31-->'''Kathy:''' Oh, yeah?\
32'''Ice:''' Oh, yeah.\
33'''Jon:''' [[CallBack Oh, no.]]
34* "[[BuffySpeak What's it like, you know having parents and all that stuff. Brother...all that...stuff, y'know.]]"
35-->'''Alien!Jon''': I am simply asking a normal human question out of curiosity not to mine data [[AC:HUMAAAAANNNNNN.]]
36* "Straight up '''''FACT'''''."
37-->'''Jon''': What are you saying, why are words allowed to escape your face?
38* Kathy's father reveals that his real name was Hackett. More specifically, James Anthony Hackett. Or Jimmy.
39--> '''Jon:''' Jimbo, Jim-Jar, sometimes down at the pub they'd call me [[OddNameOut Dan]], but my name isn't "Dan." I was once visited by an alien species. They referred to me as ''[cue [[HellIsThatNoise incomprehensible distortion]]]''. I've never been able to unhear or unsee that.
40* Two mafia goons capture Kathy's brother, Tommy, for ransom money from the two antagonists that are pursuing Hackett. The two men force Tommy to make a ransom tape, detailing that they've told the kid some of his dad's more... sordid secrets.
41--> '''Jon (as Tommy):''' When they told me about your secret stash of [[AllAnimeIsNaughtyTentacles tentacle hentai]], I was mainly just surprised. But I really couldn't see you the same way again after they showed me pictures of you [[{{Squick}} tarring Grandma's ashes to your body]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice and doing a Bolivian Rain Dance.]]
42* At the end of the video, Jon goes to do what he always does between videos: [[HumanPopsicle cryonically freeze himself]] for 6 to 8 months. He gets in the machine and switches it on... only for it to [[CallBack put him back in the Elsa costume]] instead.
43-->'''Jon:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh, that's funny]]. Which one of you numbskulls, which one of you fff[[SuddenlyShouting FUCKIN' RASCALS PUT ME UP TO THIS ONE]]?! All right?! You know what I meant! I said make me- y'know, [[ExactWords I wanna be frozen]], like in the beginning, show the beginning. What am- [[WesternAnimation/Frozen2013 what am I]]? ''[takes off wig and angrily throws it to the ground]'' You're all a buncha [[AtomicFBomb FUCKIN']] COMEDIANS, aren't you?! [[RealitySubtext YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN HAVIN' TROUBLE AT HOME!]] I'M INCONTINENT THESE DAYS, I JUST GOTTA GET THE SHOT DONE AND LEAVE!
44** Jon barely keeping a straight face during the rant.
45* When Ice's character sees a pretty girl on a horse, he, for whatever reason, decides to jump his motorbike over the fence to greet her, scaring the horse enough to knock her off. Understandably enraged that he nearly killed her, she punches him which Ice respondes by saying ''"what's your problem!?"
46-->Jon: Yeah what's your problem!? You acting like I just jumped a fence on a motorcycle making you fall off your horse, and nearly break your spine! What are you, some kinda, ''(draws rectangle with hands)'' some kinda square?
47* Vanilla running away from the house, complete with ''Sonic 3'' sounds and music.
48-->[=VANILLA=] got through Act 1
49[[/folder]]
50
51[[folder:Waterproofing My Life With FLEX TAPE]]
52* The very ''start'' of the video deserves a mention.
53-->''(Blood bag bursts)''
54-->'''Jon:''' Agh! I hate it when my computer combusts because my own blood from my blood bag is spilling on my computer AAAAAGHHH! If only there was some way to fix this!\
55''(A hand comes out of nowhere and sloppily slaps flex tape onto the hole)''\
56'''Jon:''' Of course! The solution was Flex Tape!
57* "FLEX TAPE! Okay, you heard about this stuff! I mean, this is basically-- have you heard of ''JESUS''?! [[BlasphemousBoast WELL EVEN]] ''[[BlasphemousBoast HE]]'' [[BlasphemousBoast COULDN'T DO AS MUCH AS FLEX TAPE, APPARENTLY!]]"
58* After Phil Swift dramatically slaps Flex Tape over a leak, Jon replays the clip, sets it to [[MemeticMutation the crescendo of]] "[[Music/{{Nightwish|Band}} Ghost Love Score]]," and inserts an audio clip of WebVideo/TheTourettesGuy yelling "OH SHIT!"
59* Jon notices that a lot of these infomercial hosts have similar all-American names.
60-->'''Jon:''' You gotta love-- It's always a guy like "Phil Swift," "Johnny Starr." You never get a guy comin' out like, ''[speaking in Russian(?) accent with large mustache superimposed on his face]'' "It's me, Josephi Krakowski, with Flex Tape!"
61* Along with [=RV=]s and roofs, Jon suggests using Flex Tape on an artery during open heart surgery.
62* Phil Swift uses a length of flex tape to lift a 45 pound weight with one hand.
63-->'''Phil Swift:''' Flex Tape is super strong!
64-->''[[{{Gasp}} (Jon pulls a shocked anime reaction)]]''
65-->'''Jon:''' Flex Tape ain't super strong, Phil, ''you're'' super strong!
66-->'''Phil Swift:''' And once it's on, it holds on tight!
67-->'''Jon:''' I got a couple pictures of Phil, uh, in ''my'' house on the wall. May or may not have Photoshopped his undies off. Might- may or may or may not have Photoshopped his wiener on. ''[[{{Corpsing}} (Corpses)]]'' I've done it though, really, it's serious. It's a problem.
68* When Phil Swift is advertising Flex Seal, he demonstrates by using it to seal up a colander. Jon questions the practicality.
69-->'''Phil Swift:''' Phil Swift here for Flex Seal, the easy way to stop leaks fast!
70-->'''Jon:''' That's a colander, Phil. It's supposed to have holes and leaks. What you've done is you've essentially made a ''bowl''.
71-->'''Phil Swift:''' The easy way to stop leaks fast!
72-->'''Jon:''' ''Phil'', you make me ''angry'', Phil! ''(Grabs a pot)'' Could've just grabbed one of these, Phil! Don't need Flex Seal! Look at its curvature! The easy way to have a bowl without creating one out of a colander!
73* The RunningGag of Phil using Flex Seal products to build boats, and [=JonTron=]'s staunch refusal to believe that only Flex Seal is holding the boat together.
74** The first time, it comes right after Phil claims that, in order to prove the effectiveness of Flex Tape, [[NonSequitur he sawed a boat in half]]. Jon doesn't intially see the connection.
75-->'''Jon:'''[[{{Beat}} ...]]Phil, what does that have to with tape?!
76** The second time, when Phil rolls some liquid Flex Seal onto a boat made of wire mesh, Jon [[LampshadeHanging lampshades]] the return of the boat gag.
77-->'''Jon:''' Another boat, are you serious?
78--> ''(Smash cut to Phil riding the boat through a swamp)
79--> '''Phil:''' After a day on the water-
80--> '''Jon:''' Aaand he's riding it again. Phil, I sw- you did not just roll some Flex Seal on that and go out in fucking gator-infested waters! I know you didn't!
81* Flex Seal can apparently be used to create rubber handles for your tools by dipping your tools in it, a utility which catches Jon off guard.
82-->'''Phil Swift:''' Even dip all your tools...for a tough no-slip grip!
83-->'''Jon:''' Even dip all your tools!? I can understand the other two, like there's some application, but how do you go from, like, "You can stop water from going through cracks! Weatherproof some of your outdoor materials! Dip your tools in this shit, I dunno!"
84** Jon then proceeds to dunk an ''entire functioning power drill'' in Flex Seal, sarcastically claiming that it's now far superior than it was originally. Then he demonstrates how Flex Seal can be used to cure alcoholism by sealing all of the liquor bottles shut so that nobody can open them.
85-->'''Jon:''' Grandpa hitting the sauce a little too much, think he's a little too old for that? *dips the bottle* Done. He ain't gettin' in there.
86* The first time Phil stabs a bucket:
87-->'''Phil''': ''(grunting with each stab)'' That's a lotta damage!\
88'''Jon''': That's a [[AccentUponTheWrongSyllable LOTTA DAA MIDGE]]\
89'''Phil''': [[RepeatCut That's a lotta damage]]!\
90'''Jon''': That's not that much damage, really, Phil. That's not--it could be worse...
91* In the last infomercial, Jon thinks Phil has gone completely off the deep end with his demonstrations (especially since this time, Phil is holding a knife and has a chainsaw on hand), and he notes that the vehement "Don't Try This!" warnings (which notably omit the [[DontTryThisAtHome "at home" part]]) seem to agree.
92--> '''Jon:''' "Seriously, do not tr-never ''attempt'' this! Phil has gone too far, he has sniffed too much Flex Glue, and now [[MushroomSamba all he can see is Martians!!]]"
93* Jon notes that the spray Flex Seal is rather inefficient at patching holes, which even the company acknowledges by mentioning that many coats may be needed, and he says at that rate, there's going to be more Flex Seal than bucket at the end of a patch job. Cut to [[ExaggeratedTrope Jon, labeled "MAN WHO SPENT $356.87 ON FLEX SEAL"]], with a heavy bucket filled with solid Flex Seal about one inch from the brim. He then demonstrates the seal and [[ImplausibleDeniability asserts that there is no detriment to the bucket's volume or weight from the repairs and claims it is superior to just buying a new bucket or not deliberately destroying his old bucket]].
94* Jon acts as though Phil's analysis of the bucket's damage is a graphic live autopsy and begs consideration for the poor bucket's family, who shouldn't have to watch such violence on TV.
95* Jon begins stabbing a bucket with a knife like Phil Swift, then quickly realizes it's a bad idea.
96-->'''Jon:''' Yeah I bet you wish you were a little nicer to me now, huh? Used to call me Eduardo Squidwardo behind my back, you think I didn't notice, huh!? I'm gonna give you lotsa damage! ''([[AsideGlance Stops stabbing the bucket and turns to the camera]])'' I feel like I could actually- actually kill myself this way by stabbing directly into my heart, so I'm gonna prob- I'm gonna stop, for real.
97* TheStinger of the video has text that reads "THIS IS A CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD, TURN THAT GREEN DAY AND SNOOP DOGG OFF IMMEDIATELY."
98* Jon's constant lampshading of Phil Swift's over-enthusiasm about the Flex products, to the point of almost CrossingTheLineTwice territory.
99* "Oh Phil, our Prometheus. What fire of knowledge do you bring to us mortals today?"
100* The ending. It starts with Jon slapping a piece of Flex Tape on his ass and ends with, well, the image above.
101-->'''Jon:''' If you do the thing, and you do it right, and you don't fuck it up, it works! It just works! Slap it on my butt, keep that poo in for as long as you can. When it finally comes out, by golly that's gonna feel like the best shit you've ever taken!
102* TheStinger of the video, where Jon has apparently taken the above ending to its logical conclusion and made himself invincible with Flex Tape, is as hilarious as it is disturbing.
103--> ''[[BungledSuicide JUST LET ME DIE!!]] [[DrivenToSuicide Just let me die... LET ME DIE IN]] '''[[DrivenToSuicide PEACE!!]]'''''
104--> ''[[ShowerOfAngst I'm perfect...]] [[GoneHorriblyRight I'm too perfect...]]''
105--> ''THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY TO PLAY '''GOD'''!'' '''*Echoing scream*'''
106[[/folder]]
107
108[[folder: TURDUCKEN CHEF]]
109* "True story, this is a dish so vile, that PETA made a video condemning it." Cue Jon [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer showing the video in question]].
110* Jon shows off the chicken, which came from [=FreeBird=]. [[Music/SarahMcLachlan "In the Arms of an Angel"]] starts to play, while a quote from the chicken, [[CrossesTheLineTwice "Free at last!"]], flashes onscreen.
111* Even the mission statement for the video's gold.
112-->'''Jon:''' So now I, with uh, [[LethalChef literally zero training]], am about to try to cook this thing. As you can see the level is advanced... baby, ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck I burn]] '''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck eggs]]'''''.
113* Jon accidentally cuts himself while deboning the chicken, leaving him wondering:
114-->'''Jon''' (''concerned''): [[SincerityMode Can I get salmonella in the blood stream?]] (''Cue the editor clarifying that no, he can't, but also stating that he [[OhCrap CAN get AIDS]]'')
115* Jon pretends that the bloody spine of the chicken is a chestburster, he then clarifies that the spine in question is not, in fact, a prop from a [[Creator/RidleyScott Ridley Scott]] film.
116* "[[CallBack THAAAAAAT'S A LOOOOOOOTTA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMAGE]]"
117* Jon's story of how he got the duck.
118-->'''Jon:''' Now if you wanna know about this bad boy, I went to my local meat market that sells "hard-to-find game" here in New York City, and I said "You got duck?" And they said "We're all outta duck. The last guy just bought it." And I said "Are you fucking kidding me? This is what always happens to me. Fuck my life. Is there anywhere else here that sells duck?" And he says "Duck? In this city? No way." Apparently he hadn't ever head of ''Chinatown''! 'Cause I took the subway, I took the one line straight down to Chinatown, baby! Peking Duck! An emotionless Chinese man sold that to me, by golly! I don't know if that's safe to eat! Listen, I love Beijing, I love the Chinese, but I'm a little skeptical of your duck.
119** On that note is Jon's anecdote about his grandma feeding him duck when he was three: [[TroublingUnchildlikeBehavior he told her it tasted like shit]], and when she told him to mind his language, he ''pimp slapped her''. Jon is then quick to clarify that he was making up that story... about the slap; [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer the rest of the story was true]].
120* "[[ItMakesSenseInContext PAULA DEEN IS THE REASON ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD!!]]"
121* The ending quote
122-->"The latest episode of [=JonTron=] has convinced me that [[SelfDeprecation comedy might be dead]], and I've seen [[TakeThat John Oliver]]. ~Forbes"
123[[/folder]]
124
125[[folder:Weird Workout Videos]]
126* While working out in Central Park, Jon brags about how he's so fit and in shape that he's free to eat a hot dog without any worry of fatigue. The second time we see him go to a hot dog stand, the vendor refuses to give him any more because he's been going there ''every fifteen minutes''.
127-->'''Jon''': The strange hot dog wizard was clearly sick of seeing me succeed. How can he understand...?
128** [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight The woman strolling past Jon not giving an iota of a fuck about what she's seeing]].
129* One of the things featured is ''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zuiikin%27_English Zuiikin' English]]'', the Japanese workout/educational TV show most infamous for its "I have a bad case of diarrhea" routine. And yes, that very routine was featured in Jon's video.
130** Jon pointing out that ''Zuiikin' English'' was one of several oddities broadcast in the wee hours on Creator/FujiTelevision, who wanted to use those slots to crank out fresh new ideas. To quote the show's Wikipedia page: "One such program tried to help viewers to fall asleep while another showed an actor reading out a well-known novel and nothing else."
131** A woman is robbed by two English speaking robbers, and one of them has the brilliant disguise of a [[StealthClothes single piece of cloth around his head with the knot under his nose.]] It doesn't cover very much.
132-->'''Jon:''' So who am I, huh, I'm just friendly Jon. ''(Ties cloth around his head in the same way)'' Who am I now? Who am I now? It could happen just like that. ''(Pulls out a revolver)'' You wouldn't even see it coming. ''(Pulls out a cake stirrer which makes knife noises)'' That's why you gotta be careful. You better have watched ''Zuiikin English'', so you could figure out how to respond to this. Even we don't know, we speak the language.
133* As he starts seeing the [[MakesAsMuchSenseInContext poodles]] in ''Mariko Takahashi's Fitness Video'', Jon's apartment slowly descends into what is presumably Hell as he stares on in horror.
134** Jon decides to follow suit with the regiment set by the video. Which means he's doing exercises with real life dogs running around.
135--->'''Jon''' (''[[{{Corpsing}} giggling]]''): Where you going? Huh? We're gonna work out.
136* Jonny Jon's Gamer Zone, with Jon as an obnoxious sexed-up parody of Mark Wahlberg.
137** Jon genuinely [[{{Corpsing}} losing his shit]] when Mark Wahlberg randomly screams out "POW!"
138-->ES DE MUNKE DEE COCK DEE
139** "OH GOD, IT'S SELF-AWARE!"
140[[/folder]]
141
142[[folder:Saban's VR Troopers]]
143* Jon starts off the episode by showing off what actual virtual reality has become... a player with a thick foreign accent and a [[Franchise/WinnieThePooh Piglet]] avatar suggestively asking Jon to touch his ears, and then to commit suicide with him by jumping off a cliff.
144-->'''Text Overlay:''' ''WE STRAY FURTHER FROM GOD WITH EACH PASSING DAY''
145** "We must inform Pooh."
146* Jon's first VR Headset is just a Virtual Boy that he tapes to his face. He doesn't even bother cutting the tape and leaves the roll dangling.
147* Jon repeatedly pokes at actor Julian Combs' constant depressed expression and deadpan delivery as the Professor, once again referring to WebVideo/TheTourettesGuy to make his point.
148-->'''Danny's Son:''' Dad, I heard he killed himself.\
149'''Danny:''' I'd kill myself too if my last name was... '''''COOOOOMBS!'''''[[note]]They are referring to ''Ray'' Combs, former host of ''Series/FamilyFeud''[[/note]]
150* Jon inserts himself into the title sequence of "VR Troopers" dressed as a chef with a fake mustache, turning around to flip off the camera with a grin. The credit is given as [[ShoutOut "Casey]] [[Film/UnderSiege Ryback]] as [[ToiletHumor Chef La Merde"]].
151* The RunningGag of pointing out how many times the Professor has his face too close to the screen.
152* [[MemeticMutation TARGET IS GAY]][[note]]TARGET ENGAGED[[/note]]
153* Jon mocks the use of an incredibly conspicuous greenscreen by trying to run to the bridge via greenscreen himself. [[EpicFail He breaks through the greenscreen immediately.]] Cue "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N3N1MlvVc4 Mad World.]]"
154-->[[AC: ONE SEEKS THE TRUTH BUT KNOWS NOT THE DANGER]]
155* When Jon gets his own VR headset, he instead gets several rather revealing scenes from VideoGame/DeadOrAlive Xtreme.
156** Soon, he starts seeing the Reality Barrier...
157--->'''Jon:''' Okay, turn the-- turn the virtual reality off, that's a little-- that's a little too much virtual reality.
158* When he's knocked out, Ryan has a flashback to when he was a kid. Jon thinks that the accident somehow turned him into a baby.
159-->'''Ryan:''' I tried my best, but I'm not good at this. I'm a ferrier.
160-->'''Jon:''' You're not a ferrier son! You're just a regular old run-of-the-mill failure! Don't be so easy on yourself!
161* When Jon learns the protagonists can use a floppy disk to contact Professor Hart on any computer, this causes him to reminisce about his own disk, though he remembered things a little differently. Cue Jon inserting a crudely labeled disk into a [=PC=], resulting in an Asian man with a bad case of AsianSpeekeeEngrish appearing on screen. Jon's reaction is priceless.
162-->"GODDAMN EBAY [[ShoddyKnockoffProduct CHINESE KNOCKOFFS]]!!" ''*kicks monitor*''
163* When the villain of the VR Troopers says "What's the name of this game? I WIN!," Jon pulls out a board game called "I Win," with a big picture of his face on the front, and plays a game, which consists of moving his piece directly from the start square to the only other square, a square that says "I Win!" on it, again with his face on it.
164-->'''Jon:''' Man, I remember that being a lot more fun when I was younger.
165[[/folder]]
166
167[[folder:Flex Tape II: The Flexening]]
168* The entire first seven minutes are a hilariously meta laugh riot:
169** Jon acts like a big-shot film director who created their SleeperHit, showing off footage of news coverage, other youtubers, [[ManipulativeEditing and a totally not faked video of him winning an Oscar for the video.]] Which he displays with his [[BlatantLies high school girl's tennis trophy.]]
170*** During the fake Oscar footage, special care is taken to show Creator/TommyLeeJones simply [[PerpetualFrowner staring at Jon with the most bitter, disappointed expression imaginable]] while everybody cheers around him. Even funnier, that specific footage isn’t edited.
171** After his Oscar win, Jon apparently let the victory go to his head as he began doing things "no responsible man" should be doing: including crashing a car into a house, dropping a nuclear bomb, and riding a goat on top of a mountain. The last of which is inexplicably framed and Jon lampshades this by passively aggressively calling whoever did so "tasteless."
172** Needing to make a sequel, for Flex Tape, Jon recruits foreign film workers he can't understand (not even the British woman he hired), [[NoodleImplements Asian women with Flex Seal and Phil Swift parasols, a gorilla, and an Elon Musk Gundam animatronic]]. By the time they've polished up everything for the release of Flex Seal 2, [[AntiClimax it's only 8 seconds long, consisting of a shot on Jon sitting on his couch and yelling once, and then a shot of him smashing a pig-shaped vase with a bat]].
173--->'''Jon:''' [[Creator/GeorgeLucas I may have gone]] [[Film/ThePhantomMenace too far in a few places...]]
174*** The other two foreign filmmakers are a French interior designer who doesn’t seem to have any actual job (Jon doesn't know or care what he does) and a pretentious Italian director who insists on being surrounded by literal garbage while he works for artistic reasons.
175*** The aforementioned British woman is [[SubtitlesAreSuperfluous given subtitles]] as if she's speaking some kind of incomprehensible alien language.
176** Jon and Sergio are in tears about what to do, since they can't do any reshoots because Jon blew the remaining budget on drugs. They consider filing for bankruptcy, but suddenly Jon has an idea...
177--->'''Jon:''' We saved it in post! Man, modern computers are awesome! I just pushed a couple buttons on my [=FitBit=], whole thing was done.
178** Speaking of Jon and Sergio, the two consider each other "Number One" leading to:
179--->'''Jon:''' Dude, you're number one.\
180'''Sergio:''' No, ''you're'' number one.\
181'''Jon:''' No, ''you're'' number one.\
182'''Sergio:''' No, ''you're'' number one.\
183'''Jon:''' ''Dude'', ''you'' are number one!\
184'''Sergio:''' No, ''you'' are number one!\
185'''Jon:''' [[SuddenlyShouting MOTHERFUCKER, YOU ARE NUMBER ONE!]]\
186'''Sergio:''' ''[visibly {{Corpsing}}]'' NO, MOTHERFUCKER, ''YOU'' ARE NUMBER ONE!\
187'''Jon:''' '''''I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!'''''
188** "You wanna be Numero Uno? You gotta ''at least'' be higher than Numero Dos. It's just math."
189* A recurring joke in Jon's subreddit in recent times was him getting replaced by [[WebVideo/ScottTheWoz Scott The Woz]]. Many wondered how Jon would respond; they were not disappointed.
190-->'''Jon:''' I was gone for so long, that my subreddit has officially replaced me with someone named Scott The Woz! [[TakeThat Sounds a bit like a terminal illness to me!]] [[TakeThatAudience Just like my subreddit.]]
191** Scott would later reply to Jon's comment [[https://youtu.be/5DM2W_AFq-k?t=561 in a video he uploaded later that day,]] where a FreezeFrameBonus shows "No WebVideo/JonTron, '''YOU''' sound like a terminal illness!"
192* Jon notes that Flex Seal has reached such meme status that people are trying to eat it. [[HypocriticalHumor Barely a minute later, he mistakes it for toothpaste and tries to use it.]]
193* Jon notices that Flex Glue wasn't invented until ''[[HilariousInHindsight after]]'' he made that gag about Phil Swift sniffing Flex Glue in the first video and begins demanding royalties for coming up with the idea.
194* After Phil demonstrates the power of Flex Glue by gluing a brick to a ceiling, Jon mocks this with an attempt to scotch tape a brick to his door frame. [[DidNotThinkThisThrough He gets hit in the shoulder with the brick.]] It's even funnier if one considers it to be a real brick (Which, considering it's Jon, probably isn't too much of a stretch.), meaning Jon probably injured himself for the sake of a joke.
195* [[ItMakesSenseInContext Phil's ceiling falling onto him because it wasn't as strong as Flex Glue.]]
196* Jon is adequately impressed by Flex Tape Clear but isn't really sold on it since he doesn't know if it works underw--
197-->'''Phil:''' Plus, it even works underwater!\
198'''Jon:''' ''[voice distorting and face distorted by content-aware scaling]'' [=i'Ll TaKe yOuR eNtiRe StOck=]!!!
199* Jon editing Phil's Flex Tape reinforced boat to be driving in [[SerialEscalation lava, the mobius strip, and a bizarre wormhole through time.]]
200** The actual video has Phil driving said boat through [[ThreateningShark shark-infested]] waters, with a shot devoted to showing a ''massive'' swarm of sharks swimming just under his boat. Jon just barely stops himself from {{Corpsing}} and starts wondering how Swift even pulled that shot off.
201* Upon seeing that one of the random celebrities who got Flex Seal was just some random guy, Jon breaks down at the idea that Phil has ignored him, destroying his entire shrine to Phil, only to get knocked out and meet ''Phil himself.''
202-->"YOU BETRAYED ME, PHIL! OH, PHIL! OH, YOU M A K E M E A N G R Y, P H I L!!!"
203** Phil then drags Jon by the face through the TV, and Jon finds himself in a world entirely made of Flex Seal, with rivers of liquid rubber, butterfly cans of Flex Seal, and a portal through the boat with a screen door. Yes, really. Phil acting as a god just seals it.
204--->'''Jon:''' Is this heaven?\
205'''Phil:''' No Jon. It's not heaven, it's better. It's the Flex World. Where everything as far as the eye can see is made of liquid rubber. [[AsideGlance In a can!]]
206** "Is it because I'm a '[[AirQuotes Youtuber]]'? I'm not a 'real celebrity', Phil? Is it because I put a piece of 'Flex Tape' on my 'asshole' in front of millions of people and said I'm a 'prostitute'?" Jon then promptly admits that a comedian [[CrossesTheLineTwice slapping your product over his anus and calling himself a male prostitute]] is not in fact something most companies want to promote or be associated with and he really can't blame Phil for not doing so.
207** Two of the celebrities include Creator/DavidLetterman and Creator/JimmyKimmel, leading to Jon becoming confused about who is interviewing who.
208* After Phil shows Jon an incredible new Flex product that was, [[TakeOurWordForIt evidently]], transcendently beautiful, [[MoodWhiplash he takes a moment to make Jon sign out a bunch of non-disclosure forms]].
209** [[BrickJoke It even works underwater!]]
210* Phil as Jon's [[CallBack Prometheus]] bust, giving us a wink.
211* Jon's needlessly creepy and forced sounding laughter at the end.
212*
213-->'''[=YouTube=] Comment:''' Holy crap, Flex Tape can even fix [=JonTron=]'s upload schedule!
214[[/folder]]
215
216[[folder:Soulja Boy Makes A Video Game Console]]
217* At the beginning, Jon tells an unrelated story, saying he bought a pair of white dress pants for an event, but that the anti-theft ink tag wasn't removed upon purchase. Because going back to the store with the tagged pants to ask for the tag's removal will make him look like the world's dumbest shoplifter, he is unsure if he will just have to go to the event with the tag still on the pants.
218* Jon's frustration with the [=SouljaGame=] not [[{{Pun}} just being called the [=SouljaBoy=]]], and later being pleased to see another console is.
219* About the entirety of the video is just Jon cracking up about every consecutive bit of information given out about Soulja Boy's console.
220* "MOVE OVER ELON MUSK!" [''smacks away a picture of [[MemeticMutation Musk smoking a joint]]'']
221** "MOVE OVER BILL GATES!" [''smacks away a picture of Gates''] "MOVE OVER JEFF BEZOS!" [''smacks away a picture of Bezos''] "MOVE OVER TIM COOK!" [''smacks away a picture of Cook'']
222* The OverlyLongGag of Jon slapping [=JonTron=] logos on various objects, claiming he makes said objects.
223-->'''Jon:''' ''(slaps a logo on his refrigerator)'' I make fridges!\
224''(slaps a logo on a fire extinguisher)'' I make fire extinguishers!\
225''(slaps a logo on a thermostat)'' I make thermostats!\
226''(slaps a logo on a ceramic Christmas tree)'' I make Christmas! ''(logo falls off)'' Oh shoot.\
227''(slaps a logo on a picture of a cat)'' I make cats!\
228''(slaps a logo on a picture of chips and salsa)'' I make salsa!\
229''(slaps a logo on a picture of the [[UsefulNotes/{{Denmark}} Danish flag]])'' I made the Danish!\
230''(slaps a logo on a picture of Danish pastries)'' I made the Danish!
231* The Crank That parody rap at the end. Admit it: the effort put into it was probably greater than the thought put into Soulja Boy's entire scheme.
232
233[[/folder]]
234
235[[folder: Dan Aykroyd's Crystal Skull Vodka]]
236* The opening skit is a simultaneous TakeThat at Late Night {{Talk Show}}s, Website/YouTube's current algorithms, and ''Film/Ghostbusters2016'', with Jon referring to the former as a specter desperately trying to regain relevance despite getting the Trending tab on Website/YouTube, and the latter being implied when he wonders if there are any other Ghostbusters he can call after realizing only Creator/DanAykroyd of the original Ghostbusters will likely answer him...only to immediately [[OhCrap go bug-eyed]] and state [[LesserOfTwoEvils Dan'll have to do.]]
237** His reasoning for why Dan is the only one who’ll answer; Creator/BillMurray is "too aloof," Creator/ErnieHudson has apparently not forgiven Jon over [[NoodleIncident an incident in which Jon farted in his pudding during a bar mitzvah]], and Creator/HaroldRamis... well, the reason why ''that'' wouldn’t work [[BlackComedy is pretty obvious]].
238--->'''Jon:''' ''(looking at Harold Ramis' profile; [[OhCrap awkwardly tugs collar]])'' [[CrossesTheLineTwice Definitely not gonna pick up.]]
239** With Jon realizing his only option left is [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg Dan Aykroyd]], he asks aloud if there were ''other'' Ghostbusters he could call instead... [[ExplainExplainOhCrap only to lock eyes with the camera in shock]].
240--->'''Jon''': (quickly) On second thought, Dan will do. (immediately dials)
241*** The notes Jon has of them on his phone. Bill Murray is ''Star of "Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties"'', Ernie Hudson is ''All Around "Cool Manâ„¢,"'' Harold Ramis is ''Hates when I call him "Ram-undo,"'' and Dan Aykroyd is ''Lover of Assorted Eggs''.
242* Jon leaves his apartment and the haunted TV starts vomiting ectoplasm everywhere. Jon promptly walks back in to [[TemptingFate specifically ask that the ghost not spew ectoplasm everywhere]] and groans when he sees what’s happened.
243* "[[Main/AcCENTupontheWrongSylLABle Ayyyyyyyyyy]]-kroyd."
244* Jon explaining ''why'' the vodka is special.
245-->'''Jon:''' But anyways, this vodka is very special. Mainly because Dan Aykroyd is '''''[[SensoryAbuse 100% butt-fuck insane]]'''''.
246* The fact that Aykroyd takes [[OverlyLongGag almost five minutes]] to get to the point of his own advertisement, namely the vodka he’s selling. He spends the first chunk of the ad going on a long-winded and bizarre speech about the paranormal that leaves Jon questioning Dan’s sanity.
247-->'''Jon:''' ''(ringing a loud bell)'' Four minutes and fifty six seconds! That's four minutes and fifty-six seconds this man took to say the word ''VODKA'' in this commercial about ''VODKA''!
248* Jon poking fun at the fact that Dan had "demanding specifications" when designing the skull bottle, which leads into this bit:
249-->''(Cuts to three people being tied up in what appears to be a cellar)''\
250'''Aykroyd!Jon:''' ''(holding a clearly fake, misshapen skull)'' You charlatans dare call this a ''skull!?'' My specifications were ''demanding'', I tell you! ''Demanding!'' I don't recall asking for ''Sloth'' from ''Film/TheGoonies''!\
251'''Employee:''' We're sorry Mr. Aykroyd, but that's what your nana's skull looks like!\
252'''Aykroyd!Jon:''' '''''SILENCE!'''''\
253''*[[SoundtrackDissonance Cue the Ghostbusters theme, with everyone turning away in horror]]*''
254** While discussing the concept of crystal skulls, Dan brings up the Navajo people. Jon suggests that Dan not bring the Navajo into this, saying he’s fairly certain that their mythology is far more sensible than the crap Dan’s talking about.
255** Dan also mentions how one of the real life crystal skulls is purported to be haunted by its owner, who keeps it stored away in a closet. Jon immediately [[{{Corpsing}} starts cracking up]] at the thought of a priceless artifact being flung into a coat closet with a bunch of junk because it's haunted.
256* Throughout the video, Jon repeatedly points out the absurdity of Dan Aykroyd selling vodka in a bottle shaped like a skull.
257-->'''Dan:''' The obvious question is: why did we do this?\
258''(cut back to Jon, head in his hands, shaking with repressed crying/laughter)''\
259'''Jon:''' ''(ringing a loud bell)'' Yes, Dan, indeed you've done it! That ''is'' the question of the hour!
260* When Aykroyd gives the word over to his business partner, "Phil Power," of the Newfoundland Liquor Corporation, Jon appears in the role of Arnold Cafferty, a Canadian distillery owner "unacquainted with Dan Aykroyd," who is scared and confused as to why Aykroyd insisted on setting up operation in his distillery and calling him "Phil Power:"
261-->'''Arnold Cafferty:''' Listen! I do not know this man! I do not represent his vodka! All I know is that one day he bursts in here! He just-- Like this; he just goes: ''(kicks a barrel repeatedly)'' "MY VODKA! I WANT MY VODKA!"
262** Arnold Cafferty then begs any viewers to contact his son Thomas on his "webzone," if they know how he can get out of the deal Aykroyd has apparently forced him into. A shot of said webzone includes a written testimony from Arnold Cafferty, who at first thought Aykroyd was some disgruntled costumer or a homeless man who had wandered in from the street:
263--->'''Arnold Cafferty:''' I have never been so scared of anything in my life. I duck-dived as quickly as fast as I could for my "Moose-Elimination Rod" to try and defend myself, but it was too little, too late. By the time I got hold of it, Dan had already converted my plant to a "Ghost Bottling Plant" and also began sending his emissaries to colonize the Netherlands. Overall, this was one bad weekend...
264* When Aykroyd throws some shade at the urban pollution of New York, Jon gets mad and decides to go for a leisurely walk to embrace the city he loves. Cue Jon coming across garbage, potholes, broken payphones and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Penn Station]] all the while choking and coughing from all the crap in the air. It climaxes with him asking a homeless man for [[INeedAFreakingDrink a sip from his bottle]] to clear his lungs:
265-->'''Homeless Guy:''' ''(patting Jon on the back)'' It's all right. It's all right.\
266'''Jon:''' ''(pushing him away and stealing his bottle)'' GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, YOU STUPID HIPSTER!
267** Jon’s reaction to the statue at Penn State also deserves mention, just for the sheer nonsensical image going through Jon's head when he comments on it.
268--->'''Jon:''' ''(coughs and gags)'' What is this?! Two guys from VideoGame/{{Minecraft}} fucking!?
269** What seals the moment is that he asks this loud enough that one of the two people in the background turns towards him, likely in confusion or baffled by what Jon just said.
270* Jon appears a little unnerved that the vodka is ''quadruple''-distilled.
271-->'''Jon:''' (''writes on a whiteboard'') Squared and cubed to the power of four... that's too much distillation, guys. What are you, crazy? You think the world's ready for this? We just got used to pop-punk.
272* After the ad claims that Dan’s vodka is filtered through diamonds, an incredulous Jon begins questioning this, which eventually spirals into him doing complex math equations, complete with an animated educational-video segment to discern how many carats of diamonds Dan Aykroyd is worth.
273-->'''Jon (as Phil Powers):''' I turned to him and I said "Dan? What the actual fuck did you just say to me right now? Get out of my... sight. ''Get out'' of my sight."
274** Jon starts taking the whole thing a bit too literally and begins trying to filter vodka through a cardboard cutout of Dan Aykroyd [[SanitySlippage whilst talking to it as if it's the real deal]], all while in a room which resembles a filthy basement meth lab. He even goes through the effort of handcuffing the cutout to a boiler, as if it’s going to try and escape. At this point he's basically channeling [[WebVideo/RedLetterMedia Mr. Plinkett]]!
275** Not to mention that all of this is set to the background of a [[HellIsThatNoise horribly distorted and barely recognizable]] version of the ''Ghostbusters'' theme song.
276** After all the trouble he goes through, the matter is [[ShaggyDogStory immediately rendered pointless]] when the ad casually reveals that they didn’t use literal diamonds, they used Herkimer Diamonds, which are actually a type of quartz that are "double-terminated." Jon gives a "well, of course"-style reaction and it cuts to a ''{{Franchise/Terminator}}''-esque skit.
277--->'''Jon:''' ''(dressed as the Terminator)'' Prepare to be double-terminated! ''(shoots a block of quartz until it explodes, with the title'' Herkimer 2: Filtration Day ''appearing in the Terminator font)''
278* At the end, Jon shows various interviews Dan Aykroyd did to advertise the vodka; in almost every single one, the interviewers seem either mildly creeped out by him or to be subtly making fun of him. Special mention goes to Larry King, who does a visible DoubleTake when Dan is [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial weirdly insistent that the vodka contains no glycol]].
279** Jon makes a joke about Dan’s vodka tasting like shit and Larry King being too nice to tell him so... then backpedals and admits that it’s actually pretty good.
280* The final segment of the video has Jon searching for crystal skull vodka online, noting there's none in Moscow (where Aykroyd claims it won an award for taste) or Belize City (where the first real life crystal skull was found).
281[[/folder]]
282
283[[folder: Workplace Safety]]
284* The music used in the transitions to each safety video is an 8-bit rendition of [[Music/MenWithoutHats "Safety Dance"]].
285* The video begins with Jon demonstrating [[TooIncompetentToOperateABlanket what a typical work safety video tends to look like]]; he touches the side of a boiling kettle, recoils in pain, and shouts "OW! [[CaptainObvious HEAT WAS HOT]]!" with the most surprised expression imaginable.
286-->'''Text:''' ''[with sad music playing]'' THIS PREVENTABLE TRAGEDY STRIKES MILLIONS YEARLY WORLDWIDE
287** Jon then actually burns himself for real, ''twice'' trying to turn of the self boiling kettle.
288* The first video Jon watches, "Think About This," has people dying in ([[{{Narm}} unintentionally]]) BloodyHilarious ways while a [[DreadfulMusician mind-numbingly horrible singer]] shrieks out a song about workplace safety. Jon takes particular bemusement from the part where a worker drops a wrench off a balcony for no readily apparent reason and the wrench ''impales'' another worker below through the head like a spear, with the victim [[MajorInjuryUnderreaction screaming like he sprained his leg instead of immediately dying]].
289** As the video shows a man getting electrocuted, Jon explains that if this does happen one should ''act'' and not ''think'' about the situation.
290--->'''Jon:''' I mean while you're thinkin about it he's sparking, there's flames shooting out of his eye sockets, [[SuddenlyShouting HELP HIM!]]
291** One of the deaths isn't even an accident; the guy goes into a potentially radioactive room ''[[TooDumbToLive without wearing a hazmat suit]]'' because it's hot outside. Jon is quick to note that work safety rules do not cover blinding stupidity.
292--->'''Jon:''' What the fuck you think was gonna happen!?
293** Another is a man falling into an industrial sewing machine and becoming one with a Persian rug. Cue Jon as a Persian rug salesman (complete with bushy eyebrows and mustache) who admits to the worker having "a bit of an accident" before noting that the rug is one-of-a-kind and that he'll give the viewer a good price.
294** For all his criticism, Jon does give the video one point of praise; it doesn’t pussyfoot around the message and pretty much ''commands'' you to not die at work. This is followed by a skit of a foreman furiously screaming at a dead body impaled on a rebar pipe and calling it a terrible employee for dying on the job.
295--->'''Foreman:''' WHAT DO I PAY YOU FOR?! ''WHAT'' DO I ''PAY'' YOU FOR?! ''[kicks body]'' YOU'RE LITERALLY LESS THAN USELESS! MY PARAPLEGIC GRANDMA CAN DO MORE THAN YOU, GOD DAMMIT!
296** When he first hears the singing, Jon starts to meditate, since it's so off-key it sounds like spiritual music.
297** Later, he starts imitating the singing.
298---> '''Jon:''' Dooon't die, doon't die, please don't die, you were alive before you dieeeed!~
299* "Coughs And Sneezes" treats a guy sneezing [[SeriousBusiness like it’s the most rude, disgusting, and horrifying thing on Earth]], culminating in the narrator ranting at him viciously to use a handkerchief. As he does so, the sneezer inexplicably starts ''crying'' as if in horrible pain, leaving Jon feeling like he just watched a man get [[MindRape Mind-Raped]].
300** After the man is made to sneeze [[PepperSneeze by having pepper thrown in his face]], Jon wonders if that really works or if it's [[RealityIsUnrealistic just something old cartoons made up]], so he tries it on himself by snorting pepper.
301--->'''Jon:''' This is not safe. ''[cough]'' All my... all my passages are burning up. It's a never-ending feeling of my inner world... on ''fire.'' This was ''dumb.''
302* After seeing a safety video about safe lifting of objects, Jon is baffled by the bizarrely stiff demonstration and decides to do it better, with a ridiculously sensual butt-heavy lifting video. It being set to [[Manga/JoJosBizarreAdventureStardustCrusaders Mar]][[MsFanservice iah's]] theme is on another level of comedy that makes far too much sense.
303* Jon’s onscreen [[CowboyBeBopAtHisComputer screw up of confusing]] [[WesternAnimation/TheLittleMermaid1989 Sebastian the Crab]] for [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes Sylvester the Cat]], complete with an image of Sebastian’s head on Sylvester’s body. The look of confusion on Jon’s face and his realization he screwed up sells it all.
304* The entirety of the food handler safety video, from the health inspector's critiques towards one of the employees making it seem more and more like that employee is trying to cover up a murder, to the revelation that that same employee ''didn't even actually work there'' and was only there to steal some food. That bizarre plot twist was [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer not added by Jon in any capacity.]]
305--> '''Jon:''' [[KarmaHoudini Harry got away with the watermelon scot-free!]] You gotta be ffffffuckin' kiddin' me! He got away this whole time! You bastards! You've been hoodwinked!
306** When Harry is criticized for blood being on the lettuce, Jon is surprised, since it seems like his suspicion of a murder scene is coming true. Cut to Jon as a health inspector finding even sketchier things.
307--> '''Jon:''' Now, Harry, ''hwat'' is going on here? *pan to fingers in a plate of greens* You got fingers in the spinach, *pan to a foot in another pan of greens* a foot in the arugula... *pan to Jon pointing at a head in a third pan, with lettuce in it* and that's just bringing a whole new meaning to [[{{Pun}} "a head of lettuce"]]!
308* The Air New Zealand Safety Video, which uses characters from the [[Literature/TheLordOfTheRings Lord of the Rings movies]], has a moment in which Jon deconstructs the ridiculous nature of seeing these fantasy characters putting on an oxygen mask. The funny part is that the way he portrays it makes it sound like [[FridgeLogic he’s pointing out a glaring plot hole in the story]].
309-->'''Jon:''' I’ve seen an elf woman make a wall of horse water destroy a bunch of ringwraiths, and I’m supposed to believe she needs a gas mask? She’s immortal, God dammit!
310** Then there's the instruction segment about where life jackets are located, depending on the seating.
311--->'''Jon, in a New Zealand accent:''' And if you're a peasant in economy class, your life jacket's up in Isengard. Ha-ha, just kidding, you don't have one!
312* Jon being completely stunned to learn that a company is charging almost $500 for a ''16 minute video about staying in the shade and drinking cold water.'' He also learns that it's the company's best-selling video, above a more important video about critical water supply safety.
313** Said heat video, while listing various heat related ailments, mentions heat syncope (i.e., fainting due to excess heat). Jon doesn’t know what that is, and he suspects the creators don’t know either, since it’s represented in the video with a guy saying "I don't feel so good" instead of listing or depicting any symptoms.
314*** The [[Film/AvengersInfinityWar Infinity War]] memes in the comments that line inspired are even funnier.
315* A scene of a man tripping on a pen in one video is edited to make it seem like the pen goes flying off and destroys a building while Jon shouts "OhTheHumanity" before the pen blows up ''him'' as well.
316* One video, "The Fatal Half-Inch," encourages viewers to be hyper-vigilant at all times of even the ''slightest'' change in altitude, lest you trip and die horribly. Jon compares to a crazy {{conspiracy theorist}}’s Website/YouTube video and begins jokingly claiming that tripping is actually caused by "[[LizardFolk Reptoids]]." To demonstrate, he even shows a documentary-style camcorder video of himself inspecting a crack in the sidewalk and immediately seeing a man with a lizard head...whereupon Jon immediately chases him [[BaitAndSwitch to warn him about the crack in the sidewalk in front of him.]]
317* As a result of all the videos, Jon shows them being applied in his workspace in his own safety video. Such scenes include his employees shuffle-crawling delicately across a "death trap" tiled floor, and an editor getting swatted for downloading a Music/BritneySpears [=MP3=] (with Jon's concern that he did this [[DigitalPiracyIsOkay without using a proxy]]). At the end, [[BrickJoke the pen comes back and flies at the camera]].
318--> '''Jon:''' And that's why at [=JonTron=] Incorporated, our motto's always been... "We Can't Afford Another Lawsuit!"
319** Right before this, Jon and Mike (the guy sent in to remodel the toilet) [[HypocriticalHumor flail around with a jackhammer and a chainsaw, respectively]].
320** Not to mention the pen strike damages the camera, which turns out to be mounted on a drone... that also got damaged and starts falling towards the group, who immediately run away.
321[[/folder]]
322[[folder: Dr Ho: License to Practice]]
323* Jon starts out the video doing the BondGunBarrel opening, but [[CrackOhMyBack throws out his back]] during the turn. We get the intro, then cut back to the same shot of Jon in pain.
324-->'''Jon:''' What? What, just cause the flashy intro played, you think [[UnexplainedRecovery I'm suddenly gonna be magically okay?]] I'm gonna be outta here? No! News Flash: I'm still in extreme pain! So, if you'd like to help, do it now, or forever rest your fucking peace, man. [[OhCrap Oh my god, that's-that is a gun barrel pointed at me]]!
325* At the beginning, Jon notes that publicly-unknown doctors always have a large, perhaps excessive number of framed diplomas and certificates behind them on the wall since they have the least credibility and need to prove they're legit. Cue Jon as a doctor filming his own infomercial in front of three certificates on the wall, then asking the cameraman to move down the wall to film instead, where there is a larger group of certificates. He talks about how his patients are never satisfied, saying it's not his problem as he opens a door into a hallway that is covered walls, floor, and ceiling in endless framed certificates. The cameraman then steps on one, breaking the frame's glass, and Jon shrugs it off, since it was only about 2 bucks online.
326* A small running gag that pops up in the video involves Jon, in response to his "back pain," yelling at children, one of them is even crying as Jon is yelling. A fine example of CrossingTheLineTwice.
327-->'''Jon:''' Have minor shooting pains changed your character to the degree that you will just hurt someone you love who you wouldn’t have hurt before. [[SuddenlyShouting STOP IT, JIMMY]]!
328-->'''Jon:''' Just Googling something-OH, IT STRIKES! STOP IT, JIMMY!
329* Jon concedes that while Dr. Ho's products are almost certainly a scam and don't work, at least he actually ''sent'' them to Jon, whereas Soulja Boy did not.
330* The testimonials they got for this ad are beyond awkward and unconvincing.
331** The first guy's testimonial is very awkwardly short and has a weird pause, made even more awkward by Dr. Ho's IdiosyncraticWipes.
332--->''(DR. HO'S PAIN RELIEF EXPERT)''\
333'''Man:''' I have...no pain and I feel great.\
334''(DR. HO'S PAIN RELIEF EXPERT)''\
335'''Jon:''' ''(laughing)'' Thanks, man. Glad you could come on.
336** Next is a woman who completely fumbles her words and gets hit in the face with a wiffle ball.
337--->'''Woman:''' I have no back-- Lower back pain when I'm-- I have this belt on.\
338'''Jon:''' "I'm-- I have no back pain-- No no, ah ah. Okay, all gone. I got no pain, no."\
339'''Woman:''' --I have this belt on, playing with the kids, and I feel like--\
340''(video shows her throwing a wiffle ball to her son, who hits it with a bat and it comes flying straight at her face and she recoils)''\
341'''Jon:''' [[BigOMG OH MY GOD!]] She got freaking decked in the face! [[LeftItIn They left it in, they left it in!]] "Back pain's all gone, but I'm working on the eye socket. I need a compression belt for, you know, this part of my cranium!"
342* While making a joke, Jon holds up his wireless keyboard, then throws it on the floor. Immediately after, he [[DidntThinkThisThrough realizes that doing that probably wasn't the best idea]], and finds out his keyboard is broken.
343* Jon breaking down when he hears a woman say that embracing her daughter and showing her love was "impossible" without the belt.
344[[/folder]]
345
346[[folder:JONNY NEW ENGLISH]]
347* Jon's cooking skills cross the line between SupremeChef and AchievementsInIgnorance.
348** First, he makes clam chowder by throwing some whole clams (including shells) into the pot, along with a big rock he thinks is just a weird-looking clam, some onions, celery, clam juice, and something he can't even identify but guesses is crumbled up Cheerios. Note the complete lack of broth in the recipe. Yet the chowder turns out fine.
349*** He also decides to take a sip of the clam juice. [[GargleBlaster He immediately regrets it.]]
350** Second, he makes baked haddock, and warns that it's a difficult recipe so it's okay if you don't get it right on the first try. He then chops the raw haddock twice with a knife and it's instantly fully breaded, cooked, and garnished in front of him.
351* Then there's actually getting the ingredients for the two above. Fumbling among the rocky coast for clams and treating a Walmart like a Navajo gathering site is already amusing enough as is, but then he goes to an actual fishery, and starts channeling [[Series/TheEricAndreShow Eric Andre]] in terms of sheer weirdness when he begins interviewing the workers. And a ''lobster''.
352-->'''Jon:''' Now, is this a consensual relationship between you and the [[ItMakesSenseInContext fishmongers]]?
353-->'''Lobster:''' *complete and utter silence*
354* Taking a break from cooking, Jon visits Fort [=McClary=] State Park. HilarityEnsues.
355-->'''Jon''': Nothing gets my appetite going like the thought of thousands upon thousands of young British soldiers killing each other over what I would consider petty squabbles.
356** Jon lists the various colonial era wars the fort was part of and in the process, learns that there was a Spanish-American War. Cue him awkwardly admitting that he genuinely didn't know it happened.
357--->'''Jon:''' I guess... we won.
358** Visiting a rifleman's house, Jon calls out people from 1808 for not knowing how to build houses.
359--->'''Jon''': ''[regarding the door being so high off the ground that you need to stand on a rock to reach it]'' I mean, really. What the fuck is ''this'' shit? ''[inside the house]'' There's no- there's no roof in here. And it's just strai- it's just straight up ''ground''. I wouldn't wanna be the rifleman, man, he had a bad gig. Nice window, though, I guess. If you wanna fuckin' die of exposure.
360* At the end, the meal was ready, and he was telling everyone to dig in, then all of a sudden:
361-->'''Jon''': ''[stops smiling]'' Hold on, actually now- now that I'm looking at it from this angle, it's all wrong! ''[handles the vegetables]'' It's all wrong! I-I don't understand like- ''[scoops up the chowder]'' Nobody from around here would eat this! Freaking settlers wouldn't have eaten this! They don't have any food, man! I KNEW I SHOULD'VE USED MORE CLAM JUICE! I KNEW I SHOULD'VE USED IT! I'M A FAILURE! ''[darts out of the kitchen, then walks towards a bog]''\
362'''Narrator''': In his despair, Jon realized there are few things unforgivable in this world. Unfortunately, [[SeriousBusiness a poor clam chowder is one of them]], so Jon returned to the sea from whence he came. ''[a splashing sound as Jon enters the water, cuts to Jon's colonial hat floating in the water]'' Join us next time, as we explore the dense jungles of Borneo, the smoldering pits of Mount Vesuvius, and the bombed-out wastelands [[TakeThat of Atlantic City, New Jersey]]. Thank you, and goodnight!
363* In TheStinger, Jon decides to film a quickie about the house he and the crew are currently staying in. Mainly that the owner seems to have an odd obsession with decorating the house with paintings of wounded, dying or dead birds. Things get more disturbing for Jon as he comes across more and more artwork of injured animals like beached narwhals and whales.
364** The brief ShoutOut he gives to the "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sr_SGkqrrdM American Woodech]]" [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooZk0Q0SSXE video]] when he comes across one such artwork of an American Woodcock.
365[[/folder]]
366
367[[folder:BUYING DUMB THINGS ONLINE]]
368* The entire episode happened because Jon [[ARareSentence drunkenly bought a giant gnome worth 2 grand.]]
369-->'''Jon:''' Let's be honest, we've all been there! Making that bad impulsive drunk purchase at 2am! I'm just a real relatable human! Like you, I too have ordered this ''2000 dollar 8 and a half foot tall garden gnome!'' [[SelfDeprecation Because I had to make a video this month!]]
370** His reason for buying the gnome to begin with was because he was [[ARareSentence smoking a beer with his friends]].
371* [[SelfDeprecation "I'm not always a hack! But I am one today!"]]
372* Jon gets an "Amazon Drone" to drop off his package, which is really just a drone suspended by string holding the package. Right before you can ask "why not just fly an actual drone," cue the Behind the Scenes footage of them trying just that...[[EpicFail and it not going so well.]]
373-->'''''(EXPENSIVE MISTAKE SOUNDS)'''''
374* Jon finds a review for the Yodeling Pickle from somebody who apparently regularly uses it for their mentally ill father. He praises them for finding a good use for it, because whenever the reviewer's father gets angry because of his Alzheimers, the Yodeling Pickle goes off and makes him forget what he was angry about.
375-->'''Jon:''' To be fair, [[CrossesTheLineTwice forgetting is what he's already good at.]]
376** Then he gets the aforementioned yodelling pickle, and tries it out...[[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin and it's just a yodelling pickle.]] Cue Jon's {{Corpsing}} in the background.
377--->'''Jon:''' I feel like it's that gif from Series/ArrestedDevelopment, where he looks in the bag and he's like ''[[MemeticMutation "I don't know what I was expecting."]]''
378* "You're not that good. I wonder why Jason didn't return your calls. [[NonSequitur Could Porky Pig be]] [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking classified as a monster?]]"
379* Towards the end of the video, Jon decides to turn his drunken mistake into an art gallery so he can get some money off of patrons who may somehow want to buy the big gnome for ''one million dollars''.
380** One patron doesn't even look at the gallery, so much as pay attention to all the two dollar gnomes that decorated the floor.
381[[/folder]]
382
383[[folder:JT FITNESS: Sweatin' it out with OJ]]
384* On the wall of Jon's conference room full of exercise tapes is [[BrickJoke one of the garden gnome posters]] from the previous episode.
385* Jon going on a diet by eating Healthy Choice food boxes. [[ComicallyMissingThePoint 30 of them at a time.]]
386* Since the titular workout video was made '''two weeks''' before the murder, there's naturally an ''abundance'' of [[HarsherInHindsight things that aged either really badly]] or [[BlackComedy hilariously]].
387** The fact that the video itself was used in the trial by the prosecution as ''evidence,'' something confirmed on Website/TheOtherWiki. Which is itself accompanied by the beautiful sight gag of ''the videotape'' being locked into a jail cell.
388** Jon's has a [[BlackComedy horribly priceless]] response to Simpson describing his pro football career as "a couple of years ago, a couple of good knees ago..."
389-->'''Jon:''' [[CrossesTheLineTwice And a couple of ex-wives ago.]]
390** Even without that, OJ's suggestion that his HappyPlace to relax is comparable to Mount St. Helens, complete with the massive eruption, is a little eyebrow-raising. Especially when OJ, stretching his leg out, uses the supremely uncomfortable choice of words "just trying to get that blood flowing."
391** OJ suggests doing some hamstring exercises to make sure your upper body is properly stretched out. Jon follows his lead, except when Jon does the "swinging your arms from side to side" motion, he does so [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything with a large knife in his hand.]]
392** At one point, OJ excuses himself to take a bag on his bed into the next room. While it turns out it contained his workout clothes, [[ProperlyParanoid Jon can't help but be on edge.]]
393--->'''Jon''': ''What's in the bag? What's in the bag, OJ?''
394*** But then things get bizarre as, upon doing his quick change, OJ remarks "Why do you think they call me 'Juice'?." This leads Jon to theorize that OJ ''legitimately'' thinks that the reason why people call him "Juice" is because he can change his clothes super-fast, and not because his initials are OJ.
395** Jon [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe almost loses his shit]] when OJ talks about his method of dealing with workplace stress: taking a "one minute vacation," [[ObligatoryJoke something he calls "My Little 'Getaway'."]]
396** To finish it off, he ends up suggesting his workout regime will help you "be a better [[PaterFamilicide husband, father and lover at home]]." Jon just ''collapses'' to the ground from sheer overwhelming potential he can't improve on.
397--->'''Jon''': ...sometimes, something is so... much of comedy gold that [[SarcasmFailure even a comedian can't make use of it]], okay... it's rare, but this is one of those times...
398* When commenting on the fact that OJ is now on Twitter, Jon questions the fact that his Twitter handle has a 32 in it. [[FailedASpotCheck Someone from behind the camera has to point out to Jon that 32 was his football number.]]
399-->'''Voice:''' ''(as Jon looks ahead in [[LateToTheRealization shock]])'' It's 32 'cause that was his number.\
400'''Jon:''' [[CaptainObvious It's 32 'cause that was his number.]]\
401''([[SensoryAbuse overamplified "The More You Know" as Jon's line is repeated, slowed down]])''
402* This comment:
403-->"OJ Simpson was training his victims to be more fit, he wanted a challenge, the thrill of the hunt"
404[[/folder]]
405
406[[folder:Regis Philbin's Epic Workout]]
407* For whatever reason, Jon films the "This is part 2" bit at the start in his bathroom... with his camera on his tub as he is crouched in a far off corner.
408* The section before he checks out Regis Philbin's video is full of laughs.
409** After the intro, it is revealed that on Day 21 of his fitness regime, Jon apparently overworked his arms to the point that he can barely move them at all anymore. This culminates in a few amusing physical gags such as talking on the phone by balancing it between his cheek and shoulder, missing the cradle when hanging up the phone, and smashing a fine china pot of artisanal coffee on the floor when he attempts to pour it (prompting an AtomicFBomb).
410** On Day 25, Sergio asks Jon to get him a pair of scissors from a desk drawer, and Jon proceeds to spontaneously ''suplex'' the entire desk with one arm and shatter it to pieces. Jon's reaction make it even funnier, as he apparently [[DoesNotKnowHisOwnStrength didn't intend to do that at all and was simply trying to open the drawer normally]]. He then retrieves from the wreckage of the desk... a stapler.
411--->'''Sergio:''' ...But I asked for scissors.\
412'''Jon:''' Ask, ask, ask! That's all you're doin'! "Can I have this? Can I have that?" How about you consider others for once?!
413* Jon mocks how Regis seems weirdly enthusiastic about how great walking is, as if he'd never experienced having to walk in his life.
414-->'''Jon:''' It's unbelievable! It's like they just sprouted out of my torso or something! It's unbelievable what I'm doing!
415* Jon's body begins getting into shape and he becomes an ArrogantKungFuGuy who tries to crush a coke can against his head but fails to. His crew quickly get sick of and hurt by Jon's new attitude and [[BrickJoke Sergio still hasn't gotten his scissors]].
416** [[NonSequitur And climate change is real, it's not a controversial point of dispute. It's objective fact that's seen in this graph charting the data from three independent institutes]].
417* Everyone has had enough of Jon's arrogance, so they decide to help him gain back his fat. Sergio delivers a large bag of [=McDonalds=] to Jon's house with a hidden camera watching him eat. Jon discovers the hidden camera through the hole in the bag. [[IncrediblyObviousBug Also because it's a giant professional camera with a large scope poking out of the bag.]]
418* Jon is heartbroken that his friends sabotaged his diet, and also very confused as to how he gained all of his fat back despite only eating one chicken nugget. It's then revealed that everyone had sabotaged him in little ways, such as mislabeling the whole milk as 1%, injecting his lunch with several fluid ounces of melted butter, and replacing his diet cola with regular cola and then adding even more sugar to it for good measure.
419** [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome Said sugar causes the cola to start reacting volatile and the scene suddenly gets real as the guy pouring the sugar attempts to stop a mess from happening.]]
420** In the background, you can see a poster of [[CallBack Inspector Roy advising employees to keep hazardous food out of "The Danger Zone"]].
421* [[AC:Jon has not left his apartment for 11 days]]
422** [[AC: EVEN FOR FOOD]]
423** [[AC:I guess he has enough in there]]
424** [[AC:Or else he would have probably]]
425** [[AC:DIED BY NOW]]
426* '''"We may never be able to destroy obesity the same way we did Iraq in 2003"''' ''Zoom in on the woman in the back who blinks in shock.''
427[[/folder]]
428
429[[folder:THE HEAD TO HEAD GAME JAM]]
430* Jon wasn't supposed to be the host, but the guy who was supposed to play the host didn't show up. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer It wasn't a joke, the guy actually didn't show after ten months of planning.]]
431* Before the teams could choose their opponent's game, they had to race Guinea pigs through a maze. Team Gumdrop's Guinea pig completely skips the maze by climbing the wall.
432-->'''[[WebVideo/OneyPlays Chris]]: ''' [[CrossingTheLineTwice You get to put yours down though.]]
433* Captain Red Neck Beard. The clumsy computer pirate who hates the Monarchy.
434* Basically anything Jon says as the Dutch General.
435* World's Strongest Gamer, a grotesque little fat puppet with a pair of glasses and a neckbeard. His introduction has him going off on a tangent about how he earned that title. And of course he's voiced by Psychicpebbles.
436* Team Gumdrop wins the competition, and they are in absolute shock. In their eyes, they should not have won.
437* [[AntiClimax The trophy, seconds from entering the hands of Team Gumdrop, falls out of the trophy girl's hands and shatters.]]
438[[/folder]]
439
440[[folder:Architecture Tier List]]
441* Jon made his views on modern architecture abundantly clear:
442** Going over what Jon calls "The Jenga Building," since he refused to say [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/56_Leonard_Street its actual name]]:
443--->'''Jon'''': [''breaking through the graphic that bricks fall down''] Who comes up with it? Build something nice! You see this? [''image changes as he claps, this one as a basilica''] You see that? [''a palace in Nara''] You see this thing! [''a colorful Hindu temple''] That's nice, that's what a nice building looks like! [''a row of nice, old apartments like those seen in Manhattan''] You are the worst- ugliest thing to pollute the skyline! [''firmly gestures the building's image down''] F!
444** After gushing about the Gothic Revival splendor that is the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hungarian_Parliament_Building Parliament Building]] in Budapest (putting it in the S Rank), he contrasted it with Scotland's:
445--->'''Jon''': Speaking of parliament buildings, let's talk about the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scottish_Parliament_Building Scottish parliament building]]. Wow, uh... you trying to run the government, or are you playing ''VideoGame/GarrysMod''? [[{{Bizarrchitecture}} All sorts of angles and shit stapled on top of each other]]. Ah yeah, I guess the old parliament building just wasn't functioning, just looked all- looked crap! The best thing about this building is that it was over budget, over time, and they're thinking about demolishing it. [''cue headlines saying about as much''] [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer No, I'm not kidding about this by the way]]. The third thing [[TakeThat is probably good news]]. [''gestures just below the F tier''] Right here! R-right here! Below, a little bit below F, but not quite, okay, yes! Yes, that's where that belongs!
446** With a few entries left:
447--->'''Jon''': Every modern apartment building. [''cut to him having a look of despair in front of several examples''] ''[[VoiceOfTheLegion You fools were too blind to see...]]'' [''back to normal''] Every modern office building. [''another look of despair in front of several examples''] ''[[VoiceOfTheLegion That soon you'll be left with nothing but ashes...]]'' [''cuts to an image of a Vienna street''[[note]]Although the building he's covering is in Graz, not Vienna[[/note]]] You know what this cool little town in Austria needs? [''cuts to [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kunsthaus_Graz Kunsthaus Graz]], with Jon screaming and stabbing the image with a katana'']
448* Jon making fun of the theory of aliens traveling through time and space just to build the pyramids.
449--->'''Jon''': (spanking an alien) Bad alien! Bad! This is for not leaving us the vaccine to the bubonic plague!
450* And what does Jon put in the S-tier alongside the Hungarian Parliament Building? Notre Dame (after the fire, after giving the one before an A, and the one during a C) and Goofy's house.
451* When he puts the Notre Dame Cathedral before the fire, it travels with a brief "Oui!." Conversely, Notre Dame during the fire travels with a "Non!."
452* He puts the "Cathedral of Saint John the Divine," which [[WebVideo/{{h3h3productions}} Ethan]] called Jon's house much to the latter's confusion, in Goku rank. Which is just a picture of Goku above S, a slightly larger S, and an even larger S.
453* "You can hit the bell icon. [[TakeThat I doubt it fucking does anything, but you can hit the bell icon."]]
454[[/folder]]
455
456[[folder:Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop]]
457* The mystery of the "Psychic Vampire." Either it's a vampire who happens to be psychic, or a [[AmbiguousSyntax vampire who happens to be a psychic]].
458** Also, good ol' Creator/{{Linkara}} makes a little cameo in the crystal ball of the latter.
459* As if to establish the tone of the video right off the bat, Jon [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer has to point out]] that the bottle of "Psychic Vampire Repellent" ''is in fact'' made by Gwyneth Paltrow.
460-->'''Jon:''' ''(A hair's breadth away from {{Corpsing}})'' You have ''no'' idea what's in store for you today, so just ''buckle in!''
461* Jon states that the reason Gwyneth Paltrow named her company Goop was because "all big internet companies have two 'O's in their name. Jon then lists such famous examples as Microsooft, Amazoon, and Oople. He seemingly does not realize that Microsoft ''does'' have two Os in its name, they just aren't directly next to each other.
462* Jon reads off actual quotes by Gwyneth Paltrow as a distinguished noble reading from a scroll, even using one regarding Harvey Weinstein.
463-->'''Jon:''' "Sometimes, Harvey Weinstein will let me use the Creator/{{Miramax}} jet, if I'm opening a supermarket for him." ''[beat and uncomfortable AsideGlance]'' [[HarsherInHindsight That one didn't age quite so well.]]
464** With one of the quotes being "I don't think anything that is natural can be bad for you." Jon just stares into the camera as a list of naturally bad things scrolls down, including Anthrax, platypus, salt, the Sun, and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking children]].
465* One of the commercials has Gwyneth cursing, and Jon tries to call her out on it.
466-->'''Gwyneth:''' This is the shiiiit!\
467'''Jon:''' Don't curse, Gwyneth-- ''([[ThrowItIn a train horn goes off in the distance]])'' [[HypocriticalHumor SHUT THE FUCK UP!]] Don't curse, Gwyneth.
468* "'''''COSMIC HEALTH!'''''"
469* Jon reads the ingredients for the Psychic Vampire Repellent, and genuinely stops in shock when he sees that "love" is actually an ingredient. He's so shocked he doesn't even appear to notice that the next two ingredients listed are "chakras" and "moonlight," which are equally if not more ripe for making fun of yet don't even get a mention.
470* Jon quizzes someone (in this case, his wife Charlotte) by showing her four sets of two equally bizarre-sounding products with obscenely high price tags and having her guess which one from each set is a real product actually sold on the Goop website and which one he made up. And then he reveals that ''all of them'' are in fact real, and he didn't make up any of them.
471* "THE VIBES! THE VIBES! THE V-THE VIBES! (echoing shout)"
472* Jon tests out the body sphere, and it pops and deflates under his weight. Jon looks to the camera as a midi version of [[Music/{{Evanescence}} "Bring Me To Life"]] plays.
473* After the Theragun commercial plays, Jon edits it to transition into a Doom parody. He sneaks up behind Sergio and startles him at his desk, then puts the theragun up Mike's butt while he's on a ladder, causing him to drop an ~$700 light and have it shatter for real.
474** When he first looks it over, the vibration is so intense that Jon uses it as a jackhammer to tenderize steak.
475* Jon decides that, to beat an entrepreneur in America, in the arena that is capitalism, he needs to play the same game... and shows up in front of Goop's ''actual fucking store'' dressed as an old-timey SnakeOilSalesman, complete with cart, and starts hawking his wares explicitly comparing them with those being sold in "our competitor"'s store. May double as awesome due to the effort and sheer balls such a lambasting needs.
476-->'''Dr. Jonathan Tronley:''' 'Tis my strong conviction that every man, woman and child has the right to a decent life, do they not? A life free of struggles and hardship! ''Free'' of a bad complexion! Free of clogged chakras, and free of having to read a ''single'' science textbook!
477** "Ninety dollars for some vitamins containing God knows what? Even ''you're'' not ''that'' stupid!," followed by the camera pointing at a very confused woman giving him a vicious DeathGlare.
478** "Here, all the vitamins you could need right... in that snake oil! [[MadeFromRealGirlScouts One ingredient: Crushed snakes]]. Gotta be vitamins in there ''somewhere!''"
479** "And would you believe, good ladies and gentlemen of this fine country, they would dare to charge you ''three hundred dollars'' for a vial of simple hyaluronic serum? [[SophisticatedAsHell Whatever the fuck that is]]?"
480** Jon's reaction on Twitter to the news that Gwyneth Paltrow is getting ''an entire Netflix special dedicated to advertising Goop products'':
481--->'''[=@JonTronShow=]:''' I'm going to have to get the oil cart again, aren't I?
482[[/folder]]
483
484[[folder: REAL GHOSTS]]
485* Jason Voorhees (or at least someone going for the HockeyMaskAndChainsaw trope) suddenly appearing behind Jon's couch with a chainsaw. Followed by Jon grabbing a machete to cut off his head, stuffing his remains into a garbage bag, and sending it down on a 1920s elevator he inexplicably has in his "apartment." Even funnier is that it becomes a ''Big Lipped Alligator Moment'', as it has nothing to do with the plot of the video[[note]]the only real justification it ''could'' have was because of Jon's "lost their heads in the execution" pun prior to this scene[[/note]], and it is never brought up again.
486** What's more, if Jon's [[OhCrap reaction]][[note]][[MyGodWhatHaveIDone hand to mouth, thousand yard stare]][[/note]] following decapitating Jason means anything, it's the implication that Jon did this ''by accident''.
487* As the intro to ''Haunted Lives'' plays, one of the doors flying around in it suddenly comes crashing at Jon.
488-->'''Jon''': What is it with these doors in these shows about the spooky shit?!
489* The whole sequence with Yonny Yonson the farmhand.
490** When [[Creator/LeonardNimoy the narrator]] begins describing Yonny, Jon assumes the narrator doesn't like him, as the latter describes Yonny as a "barely literate, emotionally disturbed farmhand." He then theorises that Yonny's real name was Johnny Johnson, but that he couldn't spell it properly due to being illiterate.
491** When Yonny's crush Elizabeth rejects his love and tells him she's getting married in six days, and that he should forget about her, the video zooms into Yonny's head, while a goldfish bowl materializes in his brain and the [[VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime Zora's Domain]] music plays.
492** Elizabeth came to Yonny to tell him to stop sending her letters. Remembering that the narrator described Yonny as barely literate, Jon acknowledges the FridgeLogic and riffs that the letter is actually a childish drawing of a house. And also an African elephant for some reason which Jon (or Jon as Elizabeth) finds strange considering they are in 1800s America.
493** When Elizabeth starts to leave, Yonny hurriedly grabs her and says "Wait, wait, you don't know me!" Jon then points out that that's exactly why she is slowly backing away from him.
494** When Yonny gets angry and starts [[AngerMontage furiously destroying the firewood]] with his axe, it repeatedly cuts between Jon and the episode.
495*** First, Jon riffs on one of the show's original titles while intersplicing the footage, with him saying "Real ghosts!" and "Actual serious ghosts!" at the first and second splice, respectively. Once the third happens, he is seen in front of some video store shelves with "Fiction" to the left and "Non-Fiction" to the right. Jon, before promptly moving the DVD case for ''Haunted Lives'' from the Fiction section to Non-Fiction, says "Fiction? Think again."
496*** And on the Fiction shelves [[FreezeFrameBonus there are movies like]] ''Film/Troll2'', ''Film/{{Chud}}'', ''Film/NightOfTheCreeps'', ''Film/MiamiConnection'', ''[[VideoGame/{{Doom}} Doom Annihilation]]'', and ''Film/RikiOhTheStoryOfRicky''.
497*** At one point, a crowd of about nine people gather around Jon and, along with him, cheer Yonny on, all wearing giant foam fingers or pom-poms. When Yonny misses the wood and [[FuryFueledFoolishness accidentally drives the axe into his shin]], everybody stops cheering to [[ThatsGottaHurt gasp in pain]].
498** As Yonny dies from his leg wound, Jon, while sipping a cup of tea, scoffs and tells him to get over what is essentially a dent...then he bumps his shin on a table, trips, causes his cup to smash apart, and writhes on the ground clutching his shin.
499--->'''Jon''': OOOOOOOHHH [[CallBack ssshhhhOOOT]]!!!
500* After being scared by the ghost of Yonny, a sale assistant asks the manager for the rest of the day off:
501-->'''Manager:''' ''(puts a supporting hand on the sale assistant's shoulder)'' Oh, whatever it was that scared you back there [[AC:[[VoiceOfTheLegion couldn't be worse]] [[EvilSoundsDeep than me!]]]]
502* Everything about renowned psychic Sylvia Browne:
503** Her AsHerself guest appearance in the episode tells Jon that everything shown, even the [[{{Narm}} Narmtastic]] moments, were accurate and it cracks him up.
504** Jon bringing up how she ended up being horribly wrong in her psychic predictions of missing persons cases. One such instance being where she tells a victim's relative that she's passed away and in heaven...before a GilliganCut to a phone message from ''said victim'' telling everyone that she'd been kidnapped and held hostage for ten years before managing to get free.
505** In the comments section, several people remarked that Sylvia playing herself made sense, [[TakeThat since she was an actor]].
506* After the manager discovers a pile of skateboards and roller skates stacked in a weird way, we cut to a ''different'' stacked pile of toys... in an indeterminable shape.
507-->'''Jon''': ...wow. (Jon and an extra walk into frame) Well, now, that's a hot mess. I'm not sure, uh, anyone's gonna be able to tell what that is. (to the extra; gestures to the camera) Do you wanna show the kind viewers out there, you wanna show them what this is supposed to be?
508-->'''Extra''': (holds out [[https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/the-circle-game the OK gesture]])
509-->'''Jon''': (as MLG airhorns blare; to the audience) ''[[TakeThatAudience Still got you, though! Still fucking got you, though!]]''
510* "What was once an orchard became a busy toy store. Filled with the sounds of laughter, the hum of cash registers, and the presence...of something else." ['''''[[FauxHorrific SCARY CLOSEUP ON A GIANT TEDDY BEAR PASSING BY THE CAMERA]]''''']
511* Jon portrays Yonny not as a vengeful spirit, but as a ghost who is simply looking for toys and is knowledgeable about how brick and mortar establishments like Toys R Us will become obsolete in the coming age of online digital stores.
512* The episode Jon is watching ends with a cliffhanger where it's implied Yonny might still be haunting the Toys R Us. But all Jon is taking away from the WhamShot is that Yonny apparently finally learned how to [[BrickJoke write and spell]] as indicated by how he spelled Elizabeth's name correctly.
513-->'''A+ Good Spelling!'''
514[[/folder]]
515
516[[folder: Racing a NASCAR Driver]]
517* Jon notes that the station, when viewed from the right angle, looks like a [[TheGulag Gulag]], and then has to explain to Garrett what a Gulag is, as he doesn't know.
518* Jon being taken aback that the cars don't have doors, that the driver has to climb through the window to get in and out, and that the "tail-lights" on the back are just stickers.
519* Jon's attempts to get in the car. When he does finally get in, he says his goodbyes as the car starts up, and screams "HELP!" as soon as the car starts to move.
520* While Jon and Garrett are talking in the pit area following Garrett's crash, a random pitty walks by and delivers this line, as...confusingly transcribed by the subtitles:
521--> '''Random Pitty''': BOY I COULD JUST SHIT IN HIS PANTS RIGHT NOW CAUSE THEY JUST KEEP HEAVEN OFF HIS CONSCIENCE
522[[/folder]]
523
524[[folder:The REAL Story of the Pilgrims]]
525* Jon teaches the TRUE history of the pilgrims, in his own way.
526** He states that the pilgrims initially headed to the established Jamestown, Virginia, but the winds had other plans.
527--> '''Pilgrim!Jon''': "Ah, fuck, Jim did you bring the map, cause I'm not 100% on this, but I think we might be literally nowhere in the known world, at all, and all we have is no food and these Dutch-buckle hats."
528** Jon says that Sergio mixed up Jamestown with Jonestown (you know, the place where Jim Jones forced over 900 innocent members to commit suicide), that Jon has to clarify was laced with cyanide.
529--> '''Jon''': "I'm just saying it wasn't some bad splenda."
530** Jon gives an in-depth look into the reasons that the pilgrims wanted to leave England: To escape the religious persecution of them wanting the religious freedom, to restrict the religious freedom. So basically, a cult. And that they were a "more radical" version of the Puritans.
531** Jon realizes that the actual name the pilgrims came up with for themselves was "The Separatists," a name [[SarcasmMode you definitely want in your country]].
532* At the end of the video, Jon decides to pay a visit to Plymouth Rock...only to discover that it's an actual literal rock, one that is displayed and preserved in a cage like an animal in a zoo, much to his genuine confusion.
533* "Alright, guys. [[LaterInstallmentWeirdness I'm not sure what I do on this channel anymore]]. And I'm sure you're also not sure. [[TakeThatAudience But fuck you, huh?]]"
534[[/folder]]
535
536[[folder: Virtual Reality Mukbang (Sort Of)]]
537* The episode mostly consists of Jon trying to set up his Oculus VR headset. Before long, he gets fed up with it and [[PercussiveMaintenance completely destroys the headset with a mallet]] before [[BlatantLies saying that he fixed it]].
538* Upon finally entering [=VRChat=], Jon sits down in his virtual apartment to watch TV, where an ad for a Chistmas edition of his Youtooz starts up. Partway through the ad, the toy is tasked with [[WireDilemma defusing a bag bomb]]. [[DownerEnding The bomb goes off.]]
539-->'''Commerical!Jon''': (cut to [[CrossesTheLineTwice a funeral for the Youtooz, complete with open casket]]) He died, so ''you'' could live! [[RefugeInAudacity Buy an American hero today at Youtooz.com for $29.99! Free international shipping!]] (TV goes off)
540-->'''VR!Jon''': (palms up in confusion) ''[[FlatWhat Excuse me?]]'' (stammers) W-what?! Th- o- come on. That... [[ComicallyMissingThePoint that looked nothing like me, and you know it.]]
541* Jon leaves his house inside [=VRChat=] and enters what seems to be the world of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, panicking all the while.
542-->'''Jon''': (upset) This is what it feels like to die, isn't it... ''I always wanted to visit Italy, but not like this.''
543* "Disclaimer: This Video is Not Meant to Make You Sad"
544-->'''Jon''': (sitting behind a giant Chipotle burrito bowl) I know what you're thinkin'. "That's the face of a broken man.".. ... (almost chuckles) You're not wrong.
545[[/folder]]
546
547[[folder:Surviving Edged Weapons]]
548* The video opens on a pretty funny moment. As Santa (portrayed by Jon) is coming down the chimney, two nearby people are watching this from behind a couch. When he lands in the room, they offer him milk and cookies. He promises them that he has something... He then proceeds to smash the cookie plate with his foot, swing his cane at the milk glass, and then, with a knife attached to the other end, murders the both of them.
549* Two words: ''Knife Culture''.
550** To clarify, the tape starts with the narrator mentioning that humans have crafted pointed weapons since the beginning and that then created a "Knife culture." Jon is confused as to what constitutes a knife culture. He then cuts to a sketch where various people in fancy suits (Jon himself included) sit around a dinner table and cut their roast dinners, while classical music plays. The difference from a typical dinner scene here is that instead of having a knife and fork, four of them have two knives, with the second knife being different for each person. The remaining person does have a fork, but he also has a ridiculously large bread knife.
551* The tape's narrator claims that police officers often wrongly dismiss knives as nothing but useless, primitive relics. Jon, incredulous at this statement, claims they absolutely ''do not''. Cut to a sketch involving Jon as a police officer in the middle of writing a parking ticket, when a man (presumably the car's owner) shows up and threatens Jon with a knife, demanding he stop writing the ticket. Officer Jon takes a look at the knife, and immediately starts laughing and mocking him.
552-->'''Jon''': ''[laughs]'' Okay, wow! Real ''scary'', [[WesternAnimation/TheFlintstones Fred Flintstone]]! What are you gonna do next with that thing? Are ya gonna jump in this car, hop in this car, paddle it with your feet, like Wilma and Barney? ''[laughs]'' Fuckin' loser!
553-->'''Man''': ''[utterly demoralized]'' ''Dammit!'' I ''knew'' I should have brought a gun... ''[walks away]''
554* Jon's rightful confusion to a scene in which a seemingly impovrished man stabs a cop through his front door... with a claymore he randomly had in his living room.
555--> Jon(as the man): I have nothing left to lose in this world, my wife abandoned me, my children hate my.Now this cop is knocking at my door and I have King Arthur's literal fucking excalibur right next to me.
556* '''TRABAJO EXTRANO'''
557* At one point, the tape narrates that common household items can be dangerous and that a grape cutter would be like getting stabbed with two knives. Jon then riffs on this by claiming an improperly-stored Swiss army knife would be like getting stabbed with three knives. He then shows off more hazards with ever-increasing numbers of points/blades, including four knives bunched together with duct tape, a star-shaped device that appears to be five knives joined at the middle by the end of their handles with duct tape, a similar device but with six screwdrivers, seven panel hacksaws splayed out like a fan and joined together at the handles with cable ties, and finally, a cluster of pufferfish taped together.
558* One part shows an airport attendant asking a man to put his pens in a tray before being allowed to pass through, having failed the metal detector security check. The man responds by saying, "Sure," before stylishly taking out a switchblade and violently stabbing and slashing the attendant. Jon is completely baffled by the man's decision.
559-->'''Jon:''' Dude, you could've just put the pens in the tray, let's be real, okay? Now you're going to jail for the rest of your life, uh, was it fucking cool? Absolutely it was fucking cool. [[WasItReallyWorthIt Was it worth it?]] I'm not so sure?!
560* At another point in the tape, a police officer investigates a suspicious house, only to find a female cultist with a large ritualistic dagger which she proceeds to threaten him with.
561-->'''Jon''': Goddamnit Rick, take cover! That knife is fully loaded!
562** After the officer shoots her dead, and after cutting to the shot of her dying, it cuts to Jon, who now replaces the officer, shooting her over and over with his pistol, while lamenting that she didn't have to die had she simply surrendered and dropped the knife. He then [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill throws a flashbang grenade and brings out an AK-47]] with which to shoot her.
563-->'''Jon''': Lady, I didn't wanna do this! I told ya to ''drop the giant knife''! ''[flashbangs her, and then brings out AK-47]'' '''[[ScreamingWarrior AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!]]'''
564** It gets even funnier when most of the comments point out that the officer shooting the female cultist was unneeded as it appeared she was mostly just about to stab herself with the ritualistic dagger. Basically the police officer shot the lady ''whom was about to kill herself''.
565** Now watch this [[https://youtu.be/BK5aKcknRi8?si=S_RGZQyLmzs2QX6- in a piano dub]] & try not to laugh by the part the piano goes to the [[Series/TheOC Whatca Say meme]] by the time multiple shots are fired.
566* A homeless man starts waving a knife around in order to protect "his turf" and keep the nearby police officer at bay. Jon [[ManipulativeEditing greenscreens the man into an African savannah]], where he has apparently stolen a zebra carcass from a lion, and then has him sink behind a rock to "return to his den."
567* Jon utterly lambasting the S.M.E.N.S. acronym.
568** When getting to the '''M'''ove part of the acronym, he comments why they'd need to move when the first part of the acronym was ''Shoot''. Before immediately going on a sarcastic tangent that the reason for moving is to get out before the police come, despite the police officer having shot first.
569-->'''Jon''': [pointing a FingerGun at himself] You're going to jail for a long time son.
570** '''E'''valuate has him just humorously lean forward to look at the dead corpse, with a comedically exaggerated expression. Remember this is the 3rd step in S.M.E.N.S. right ''after'' the first one being '''Shoot'''.
571-->'''Jon''': Yeah, I shot him. I- [[ViewerGenderConfusion he's]] dead.
572** '''N'''eutralize, has him rightly pointing out that it was accomplished in the first step, making Neutralize a completely redundant step.
573** '''S'''can, meanwhile, has him pointing out that, while it's supposed to scan for other threats, considering the first step was literally '''Shoot''' makes ''you'' the threat in this scenario if you followed the S.M.E.N.S. acronym.
574** After going through what the entire ''S.M.E.N.S.'' acronym meant, he immediately points out the redundancy of the steps. First going for ''S.M.E.'' then ''S.M.'' to finally just straight up ''Shoot''. The way he vocalizes the different acronyms are the cherry on top.
575** The comment section gets in on the ribbing too, with one commenter pointing out that S.M.E.N.S. is literally just "Shoot first, ask questions later" but ''taken as seriously as possible''.
576* The last scene [[{{Bookends}} mirrors the first]], although this time, the young man and woman, having apparently [[UnexplainedRecovery recovered from the knife murder]], have memorized their S.M.E.N.S. training. They smash the cookie plate and glass over Santa's head to catch him off-guard, pull out guns, and, while he [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing stands there ineffectually waving around his cane in a threat attempt]], they shoot him dead.
577** Afterwards, they pace around the room and wildly scan for other threats (representing the "Move" and "Evaluate" parts of the S.M.E.N.S. acronym) then, when they get to "Neutralize," ''[[CrossingTheLineTwice shoot Santa's]] [[PummelingTheCorpse obviously dead]] [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill body again]]''.
578* '''[[SelfDeprecation Dead Meme]]'''
579[[/folder]]
580
581!![=JonTron=]'s Happy Hour
582[[folder: Episode 1 - Heads and Horses]]
583* Jon and Michael arguing over the quality of Dr. Pepper. It leads to Jon going over the 23 flavors of Dr. Pepper and confessing that he never knew that [[AluminumChristmasTrees sarsaparilla wasn't just Sylvester's catchphrase.]]

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