| 1 | [[Funny/HonestTrailers Main]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers20122013Episodes 2012–13]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2014Episodes 2014]] | '''2015''' | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2016Episodes 2016]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2017Episodes 2017]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2018Episodes 2018]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2019Episodes 2019]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2020Episodes 2020]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2021Episodes 2021]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2022Episodes 2022]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2023Episodes 2023]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2024Episodes 2024]] |
| 2 | ---- |
| 3 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 4 | !!Movie Trailers |
| 5 | |
| 6 | %%[[folder:''Taken'']] |
| 7 | %%* ''Film/{{Taken}}'' (aka ''Tooken'') |
| 8 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 9 | |
| 10 | [[folder:''Gone Girl'']] |
| 11 | * ''Film/GoneGirl'' (aka ''Your Wife Probably Wants to Kill You''): |
| 12 | ** All the jokes made about the film's ambiguous stance on gender politics: |
| 13 | --->'''Narrator:''' The movie that says that [[AllMenArePerverts all men are pigs!]] Or, [[{{Yandere}} all women are monsters!]] [[TakeAThirdOption Or, both?]] |
| 14 | * He points out that Creator/NeilPatrickHarris should have taken [[Series/HowIMetYourMother his own advice]] regarding the craziness-to-hotness ratio. |
| 15 | * The Narrator's reaction to the ending, where not only does Nick [[EasilyForgiven take Amy back]], they're [[BabiesMakeEverythingBetter planning on having children too]]. |
| 16 | -->'''Narrator''': '''[[BigWhat WHAT]]?!''' Why would he do that?! Run, dude! And... is that [[MaleFrontalNudity his dick]]? [[BrainBleach What is happening?!]] Man, this ending is ''weird''. |
| 17 | ** And TheStinger after reading off the "Starring" list. |
| 18 | --->'''Narrator''': This movie really could've used more Creator/TylerPerry. Ugh... did I really just say that? |
| 19 | [[/folder]] |
| 20 | |
| 21 | [[folder:''Pirates of the Caribbean'']] |
| 22 | * ''Franchise/PiratesOfTheCaribbean'' (aka ''[[SpotlightStealingSquad Jack Sparrow]] of the Caribbean (and some other Pirates)''):[[labelnote:*]]Sans ''Dead Men Tell no Tales"[[/labelnote]] |
| 23 | ** The narrator opens up with how Creator/JohnnyDepp's career ended up getting typecast into "boring parodies of himself", while showing his roles as [[Film/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory Willy Wonka]], [[Film/AliceInWonderland2010 The Mad Hatter]], [[Film/SweeneyToddTheDemonBarberOfFleetStreet Sweeny Todd]], and [[Film/PublicEnemies John Dillinger]], then... |
| 24 | -->'''Narrator:''' ...but who cares, now he owns a *** island! |
| 25 | ** This post-title opening line: |
| 26 | -->'''Narrator:''' Witness the Disneyfication of Pirates, history's notorious foul-mouthed rapists and murderers. Where the cursing is PG... "Rape" becomes "Raid"... And murder becomes physically impossible... |
| 27 | ** Starring: Captain Jack spare us from any more of these movies ([[Creator/JohnnyDepp Captain Jack Sparrow]]), Keira Daily ([[Creator/KeiraKnightley Elizabeth Swann]]), Barnacle Bill ([[Creator/StellanSkarsgard "Bootstrap" Bill Turner]]), Why not [[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} Zoidberg]]? ([[Creator/BillNighy Davy Jones]]), Finnicky (Phillip Swift), Deadwoodmen Tell No Tales ([[Creator/IanMcShane Edward "Blackbeard" Teach]]), Captain Morgan ([[Creator/GeoffreyRush Hector Barbossa]]), Miss Cleo ([[Creator/NaomieHarris Tia Dalma]]), A Japanese Pornstar (The Kraken's tentacles), and Orlando Florida ([[Creator/OrlandoBloom Will Turner]]). |
| 28 | *** Gets into HilariousInHindsight territory with Blackbeard's title, as it basically teased [[Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanDeadMenTellNoTales the title of the follow-up movie]] that premiered ''two years after the said honest trailer.'' |
| 29 | [[/folder]] |
| 30 | |
| 31 | [[folder:''The Maze Runner'']] |
| 32 | * ''Film/TheMazeRunner2014' (aka ''[[Film/TheHungerGames The Hunger]] Maze'') |
| 33 | ** The inverted SerialEscalation in regards to YA book-to-film adaptations: |
| 34 | --->'''Narrator:''' You went wild over ''Film/TheHungerGames'', you went less wild over ''Film/{{Divergent}}'', now prepare to be mildly interested(?) in another franchise that panders to the exact same demographic in the hopes that they'll make enough money to [[DividedForPublication split the last book into two movies.]] |
| 35 | ** To make the above quote funnier, the third and final instalment, ''Film/MazeRunnerTheDeathCure'', [[AvertedTrope wasn't split into two movies, instead remaining as one]]. |
| 36 | ** What The Glade is and what its inhabitants do: |
| 37 | --->'''Narrator:''' Welcome to The Glade, a society of [[DawsonCasting grown men actors playing teenage boys]] who spend their days farming, dancing, and exploring instead of just jerking off all the time. |
| 38 | [[/folder]] |
| 39 | |
| 40 | %%[[folder:''The Lego Movie'']] |
| 41 | %%* ''WesternAnimation/TheLegoMovie'' (aka ''The Lego Commercial'') |
| 42 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 43 | |
| 44 | %%[[folder:''Boyhood'']] |
| 45 | %%* ''Film/{{Boyhood}}'' (aka ''12 Years a Boy'') |
| 46 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 47 | |
| 48 | %%[[folder:''Dumb and Dumber To'']] |
| 49 | %%* ''Film/DumbAndDumberTo'' (aka ''Grown Ups To'') |
| 50 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 51 | |
| 52 | [[folder: ''The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1'']] |
| 53 | * ''Film/TheHungerGamesMockingjay'' – Part 1 (aka ''Where's Peeta – Part 1''): |
| 54 | ** In the "Starring": Pita Pocket (Peeta), Team Jacob, (Gale), Literature/FiftyShadesOfGrey (Alma Coin), Creator/ElizabethBanks [[MoneyDearBoy On This Part To Pay Her Mortgage]] (Effie Trinket), Creator/WoodyHarrelson AsHimself (Haymitch Abernathy, shown very shabby), Music/{{Skrillex}} (Cressida), and [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial None of us have seen your boobs. I mean, definitely not me... A friend of mine sent me a link but I said "Hey man...that is not okay! Privacy is an important issue. Not interested, thank you very much..." cause... that's... not cool.]] ([[Creator/JenniferLawrence Katniss]]) |
| 55 | ** In TheStinger: |
| 56 | --->'''Katniss:''' The Capitol just bombed the hospital! There were unarmed men, women, and children!\ |
| 57 | '''Narrator:''' Uh, no, they didn't. That was you, remember? ''[shows that Katniss shot down two Capitol fighter planes, which crashed at the hospital]'' [[SarcasmMode Smooth move]], Comicbook/{{Hawkeye}}. |
| 58 | [[/folder]] |
| 59 | |
| 60 | [[folder:''Cinderella'' (1950)]] |
| 61 | * ''WesternAnimation/{{Cinderella}}'' (aka ''Sweeping Beauty'') |
| 62 | ** "From the studio that brought you ''[[WesternAnimation/SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarfs Snow White]]'', ''WesternAnimation/{{Fantasia}}'' and ''WesternAnimation/TheStoryOfMenstruation''..." |
| 63 | ** He points out the FridgeLogic of her FairyGodmother. |
| 64 | --->'''Narrator:''' A guardian angel who's waited years to improve Cinderella's life in any way. Instead of helping her out [[DeathByOriginStory when her parents died]]... or when her [[WickedStepmother step-family forced her into slavery]]. [[SarcasmMode Thanks for the dress, lady]], but it would've been more helpful if you Bibbidy-babiddy-[[SocialServicesDoesNotExist called-Child-Protective-Services]] like, 8 years ago! |
| 65 | ** "We are mice as smart as people/we could kill you in your sleeple/go ahead and tell somebody/no one will believe you..." |
| 66 | ** Like WebVideo/CinemaSins, the narrator points out how the subplot involving Lucifer and the mice take up most of the movie. |
| 67 | ** Starring: [[Music/KanyeWest I Ain't Saying She a Gold Digger]] (Cinderella), Film/BramStokersDracula (Lady Tremaine), [[Series/KeepingUpWithTheKardashians The Kardashians]] (Anastasia and Drizella), Creator/WilfordBrimley (The King), Prince Foot Fetish (The Prince), Rosie O'Donnell (Lucifer), Modest Mouse (a naked Gus), and unrealistic expectations of relationships that girls carry into adulthood. |
| 68 | [[/folder]] |
| 69 | |
| 70 | [[folder:''Leprechaun'']] |
| 71 | * ''Film/{{Leprechaun}}'' (aka ''[[Film/TheHobbitTheBattleOfTheFiveArmies The Hobbit: Battle of the Lucky Charmies]]''): |
| 72 | -->'''Narrator:''' InAWorld, where [[Film/AprilFoolsDay every]] [[Film/BlackChristmas1974 holiday]] [[Film/EasterBunnyKillKill gets]] [[Franchise/{{Halloween}} its]] [[Film/{{Thankskilling}} own]] [[Film/MyBloodyValentine horror]] [[Film/UncleSam movie]], [[UsefulNotes/AmericanHolidays St. Patrick's Day]] will be exploited by a film that was stupidly released in January ''[shows that the movie was released on January 8, 1993]'', that as far as holiday-themed serial killers go, ranks somewhere between [[Franchise/{{Halloween}} Michael Myers]] and Film/{{Jack Frost|1997}}. ''[shows a clip from the family film ''Film/JackFrost1998'']'' No, [[SimilarlyNamedWorks the other]] Jack Frost ''[shows the poster of ''Film/JackFrost1997'']'' That's the one! |
| 73 | ** The narrator briefly becomes sympathetic of the Leprechaun, or more exactly, the actor who plays him: |
| 74 | --->'''Narrator:''' Watch them team up to defeat evil the only way they know how: Spending ninety minutes beating the sh[[SoundEffectBleep *]]t out of respected English actor Creator/WarwickDavis. ''[cue montage of the Leprechaun getting beaten up and shot]'' Hey, leave Film/{{Willow}} alone! |
| 75 | ** The narrator saying that the movie "seems intentionally created for a St. Patrick's Day JustForFun/DrinkingGame": |
| 76 | --->'''Narrator:''' Take a shot everytime: The Leprechaun says who he is, ''[shows montage of the Leprechaun saying that he's the Leprechaun]'' says what he wants, ''[shows montage of the Leprechaun saying that he wants his gold]'' someone doesn't believe in the Leprechaun, ''[shows Tory and Alex insisting on that the Leprechaun doesn't exist]'' Irish culture gets set back decades, ''[shows O'Grady speaking about the Leprechaun in a thick Irish accent]'' or little people's rights gets set back centuries. ''[shows the Leprechaun saying that "the wee people have their magical ways", and Alex slingshooting at the Leprechaun]'' Oh man, we are ''so'' gonna get wasted. |
| 77 | ** The "starring" list: "Jorts-[[Creator/JenniferAniston ifer Aniston]], Hillbilly Hercules, [[Film/PeeWeesBigAdventure I Know You Are, But What Am I?]], [[ComicStrip/DennisTheMenaceUS Dennis the Sociopath]], [[{{Oireland}} Irish McIrishman]], and [[Series/GameOfThrones Tyrion O'Lannister]]." |
| 78 | [[/folder]] |
| 79 | |
| 80 | [[folder:''The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies'']] |
| 81 | * The WebAnimation/HowItShouldHaveEnded CrossOver which imagines how The Hobbit book would be received if it was based on these bloated, filler-based movies. |
| 82 | * ''Film/TheHobbitTheBattleOfTheFiveArmies'' (aka ''The Hobbit: Bloating of the Five Pages'') |
| 83 | [[/folder]] |
| 84 | |
| 85 | [[folder:''Interstellar'']] |
| 86 | * ''Film/{{Interstellar}}'' (aka ''Creator/ChristopherNolan's Film/{{Contact}}''): |
| 87 | ** "But above all, [Coop] is a father to his beloved daughter Murph... ''[cue long montage of Coop calling out Murph's name]'' ...aaand his son Tom, who by comparison he couldn't give two sh[[CensoredForComedy *]]ts about." |
| 88 | ** When the narrator starts to cite Christopher Nolan's trademarks, he ends with [[ViewersAreMorons "the dumbed-down analogy so the audience can keep up"]]. After watching it, however, he says: |
| 89 | --->'''Narrator:''' Hey! You stole that from ''Film/EventHorizon''! ''[shows a scene from said film in which Creator/SamNeill's character does the same analogy]'' |
| 90 | ** Even the soundtrack isn't safe: |
| 91 | --->'''Narrator:''' [The film] assaults your ears with emotional swells that sound like Music/HansZimmer fell asleep on his organ ''[cue montage of scenes from the film accompanied by an organ that sounds increasingly louder, to the point the narrator says:]'' Ah, turn it, turn it down! I can't hear my own epic voice! |
| 92 | ** The narrator's take on the ending: |
| 93 | --->'''Narrator:''' So try to follow along with the film that was praised by no less than UsefulNotes/NeilDeGrasseTyson for [[ShownTheirWork scientific accuracy]], even though it goes full-blown Creator/MNightShyamalan at the end that consists of: ''[takes a deep breath, then goes to summarize the [[GainaxEnding Gainax-ish Ending]] of the film]''. Go ahead, tell us that didn't happen. It's not that we don't understand it, it's just really stupid. |
| 94 | ** The "Starring" list: Film/TheAstronautFarmer, [[Film/StarTrekIITheWrathOfKhan Star Trek: The Math of]] [[Creator/MichaelCaine Caine]], [[Creator/AnneHathaway Anne Go Away]], [[SayMyName Murph!]], [[Franchise/SuperMarioBros Luigi]] [[Creator/CaseyAffleck Affleck]], [[Series/That70sShow That '70s]] [[TheCameo Cameo]], [[Series/ThirdRockFromTheSun Third Dick From the Sun]], [[Film/TwoThousandOneASpaceOdyssey PAL 9000]], and A Baked Potato.[[labelnote:*]]Creator/MattDamon[[/labelnote]] |
| 95 | ** In TheStinger, the narrator's reaction to Amelia Brand's {{anvilicious}} stance about ThePowerOfLove: |
| 96 | --->'''Amelia Brand:''' Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space.\ |
| 97 | '''Narrator:''' ''[as Creator/MatthewMcConaughey]'' [[CatchPhrase Alright, alright, al]]-- what? Wait, what? |
| 98 | [[/folder]] |
| 99 | |
| 100 | [[folder:''Daredevil'']] |
| 101 | * ''Film/{{Daredevil}}'' (aka ''Film/{{Bat|manVSupermanDawnOfJustice}}[[Creator/BenAffleck fleck]] [[Film/BatmanBegins Begins]]''): |
| 102 | ** "Before Creator/{{Netflix}} and [[Franchise/MarvelCinematicUniverse Marvel Studios]] team up to [[Series/Daredevil2015 hopefully do the character justice]], return to [[TurnOfTheMillennium the early 2000's]], when superhero movies were still full of [[SpecialEffectFailure crappy CGI]], ''[[Film/TheMatrix Matrix]]''[[BulletTime ing]], [[Series/TheSopranos Sopranos]],[[note]]In reference to Ben Urich and Matt's childhood bully both being played by Creator/JoePantoliano (Ralph Cifaretto) and Robert Iler (A.J. Soprano), respectively.[[/note]] and [[Music/SnoopDogg -izzies]]." |
| 103 | ** "With his eyesight taken from him, [Matt Murdoch] uses his other four senses to see perfectly, yet he still dresses like a blind guy to score sympathy points with hot chicks, ''[and shows Matt doing just that with Elektra]'' which gives Ben Affleck an excuse to show off his stupid cross-eyed [[{{Narm}} Derp Face]]." |
| 104 | --->'''Narrator:''' [[MemeticMutation Ermahgerd, it's the Derpdevil!]] |
| 105 | ** When the narrator lists "the grab bag of superpowers" that Daredevil has ("[[InASingleBound super jumping]], [[TheNoseKnows creepy smelling]], and super heart rate monitoring"), he realizes that, despite its potential, that last power somehow doesn't help Matt Murdoch as a lawyer: |
| 106 | --->'''Narrator:''' So he's a [[LivingLieDetector human lie detector]], and he still can't win a case? Wow. Just, wow. |
| 107 | ** The narrator nodding off after hearing Matt Murdoch's voiceovers. |
| 108 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[snores loudly, then wakes up]'' I'm sorry, what? |
| 109 | ** The narrator concludes that Ben Affleck's portrayal of Daredevil is his "really disappointing audition to be the next Franchise/{{Batman}}": |
| 110 | --->'''Narrator:''' Where he plays a broody loner who becomes a vigilante crime-fighter after his dad is murdered by criminals in an alley, uses a ridiculous Batman voice when he's in costume, [[BuildingSwing travels by grappling hook]], [[BatScare is scared of bats]], and [[ThouShallNotKill refuses to kill]].\ |
| 111 | ''[[[DescriptionCut shows Daredevil letting a rapist who was acquitted be ran over by a train, and throwing Bullseye from the top floor of a church]]]''\ |
| 112 | '''Narrator:''' Oh, wait, nevermind. He totally kills.\ |
| 113 | '''Daredevil:''' I'm not a bad guy.\ |
| 114 | '''Narrator:''' ...Yeah, you kinda are, though. |
| 115 | ** The "Starring" list consists of listing the bands that collaborated in the soundtrack, "a soundtrack full of the 2000s' worst NuMetal bands": Music/{{POD}}, Hoobastank, Music/{{Seether}}, Music/DrowningPool, Music/{{Evanescence}} (twice), and Music/{{Nickelback}}. |
| 116 | ** In TheStinger, after showing Daredevil's two D's FlamingEmblem: |
| 117 | --->'''Narrator:''' Ummm... shoudn't that be in Braille? |
| 118 | [[/folder]] |
| 119 | |
| 120 | [[folder:''Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice'' Teaser]] |
| 121 | * They perfectly captured the arguments of countless online threads in the first 40 seconds: |
| 122 | -->Is it really surprising that a movie starring the two most iconic superheroes would be controversial?\ |
| 123 | Everybody loves Franchise/{{Superman}}. Who doesn't love Superman?\ |
| 124 | Yeah, but they couldn't even make [[Film/ManOfSteel a good Superman movie!]]\ |
| 125 | They're just cramming in the whole Franchise/{{Justice League|OfAmerica}}!\ |
| 126 | Creator/{{DC|Comics}} has a horrible track record. ''Film/GreenLantern2011''? I mean, come on!\ |
| 127 | Hello? ''Film/TheDarkKnightTrilogy''. Creator/ChristopherNolan is totally involved in this, you're just a butthurt Creator/{{Marvel|Comics}} fanboy. ''Film/AntMan1'' looks stupid. There, I said it.\ |
| 128 | Not every comic book movie has to be fun. What are we, twelve?\ |
| 129 | Stop with the brooding! The only one who gets to brood is Franchise/{{Batman}}! They all can't be brooding!\ |
| 130 | Maybe Creator/ZackSnyder is just a guy trying to make a good movie.\ |
| 131 | It looks like ''Film/SuckerPunch''! |
| 132 | * The narrator SayingSoundEffectsOutLoud (more exactly, the PreviewsPulse), before doing his own take of what Batman would've asked to Superman (instead of if Superman bled): |
| 133 | -->'''Narrator as Batman:''' Tell me: Is my Batman voice better than Creator/ChristianBale's? I mean, it has to be, right? |
| 134 | * The clear prevalence of Batman over Superman in the teaser and the introduction of many characters who'll be main characters in the Justice League film makes them give it the alternative title of "''Batman ft. Superman: Rush to the Justice League''." |
| 135 | [[/folder]] |
| 136 | |
| 137 | [[folder:''Hulk'']] |
| 138 | * ''Film/{{Hulk}}'' (aka ''[[TrueArtIsAngsty Sulk]]''): |
| 139 | ** The narrator makes it clear from the beginning that he thinks that this portrayal of the Hulk got the short stick. |
| 140 | --->'''Narrator:''' [[Film/TheAvengers2012 You loved]] Creator/MarkRuffalo. [[Film/TheIncredibleHulk2008 You tolerated]] Creator/EdwardNorton. But admit it, you forgot about Creator/EricBana until I said his name just now. |
| 141 | ** The narrator pointing out that Kevin Feige, current head of the Franchise/MarvelCinematicUniverse, was one of the executive producers of the film: |
| 142 | --->'''Narrator:''' Travel back to a time when Kevin Feige could still f*ck up a superhero movie... |
| 143 | ** The narrator isn't amused with the idea of CerebusSyndrome being given to a giant green rage-filled monster who smashes things. |
| 144 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[angry, as the Hulk looks introspectively at a bush]'' Stop staring at that bush and hit something! |
| 145 | ** The narrator says that the movie "covers up its total lack of action with [[IdiosyncraticWipes super wacky scene transitions!]]" |
| 146 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[after a montage of the movie's scene transitions, set to wacky music [[SuspiciouslySimilarSong that sounds similar to "The Green Hornet Theme"]]]'' Wow. ''[sarcastically]'' It's just like reading a comic book. A ''terrible, boring'' comic book. |
| 147 | ** The narrator points out that 2003 CGI made Hulk look like, among other things, Franchise/{{Shrek}}. |
| 148 | --->'''Narrator:''' [[MemeticMutation Hulk is love. Hulk is life.]] |
| 149 | ** The narrator describing the climax: |
| 150 | --->'''Narrator:''' An impossible-to-see climax, that takes place at night, underwater, against a... cloud... dad... thing. ''[{{beat}}] Film/ThorTheDarkWorld'' [[DamnedByFaintPraise is looking]] ''[[DamnedByFaintPraise pretty]]'' [[DamnedByFaintPraise good right now]], huh? |
| 151 | [[/folder]] |
| 152 | |
| 153 | [[folder: ''Fifty Shades of Grey'']] |
| 154 | * ''Film/FiftyShadesOfGrey'' (aka ''[[SarcasmMode Fifty Shades of-- Great, There's Gonna be Two More of These, Good Job World]])'' |
| 155 | ** The narrator initially confuses Anastasia for Bella Swan, but before he corrects himself, he sees how similar they look and decides "You know what, screw it. Meet Bella Swan!" |
| 156 | ** The perfectly deadpan response to a line: |
| 157 | --->'''Anastasia Steele:''' What are butt plugs?\ |
| 158 | '''Narrator:''' ''[flatly]'' It's a plug. For your butt. |
| 159 | ** The narrator doesn't care if Christian Grey is a complete sociopath when he's got these... |
| 160 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[=AAAAAAAAAAbs=]'', and ''[=AAAAAAAAAudis=]'', and ''AAAAAAAAA''... really nice apartment. |
| 161 | ** But he's also disappointed with the movie's contents: |
| 162 | --->'''Narrator:''' So strap in for all the steamy action people were expecting from Fifty Shades of Grey, like: email, texting, contracts, contract negotiations, nondisclosure agreements, conditions, clauses, and tender missionary lovemaking. What the fuck?! Let's get kinky weird- Epic Voice Guy has a dull marriage, man! |
| 163 | ** In lieu of a "Starring" section, we get a "Not Starring" section, composed of Epic Voice Guy reading [[{{Narm}} all the terrible lines]] that were cut from the movie... only to cap off by giving us the one line that ''did'': "'Cuz I'm fifty shades of f*cked up." |
| 164 | --->'''Narrator''': Ugh, what does that even mean?! |
| 165 | ** The background music ([[BowChickaWowWow a slowed-down, breathy, sexed-up parody]] of Beyonce's "Crazy in Love"): |
| 166 | --->This movie's written so lazy right now, the book that it was based on so lazy right now... I wish somebody would taze me right now, this story's about as a sexy as rabies right now... Oh, I'll just go and watch a porno. |
| 167 | [[/folder]] |
| 168 | |
| 169 | %%[[folder:''Pitch Perfect'']] |
| 170 | %%* ''Film/PitchPerfect'' (aka ''Mean Gleaks'') |
| 171 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 172 | |
| 173 | [[folder:''Jupiter Ascending'']] |
| 174 | * ''Film/JupiterAscending'' (aka ''[[Creator/TheWachowskis Wachowskis]] Descending'') |
| 175 | ** The film's plot is so completely insane that, after covering the cast and characters, they don't even bother to make jokes anymore -- they spend the next two minutes recapping the film because it's just so ridiculous and nonsensical that summarizing it is funny enough. All they do is add [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer "Not Making This Up" Disclaimers]]. |
| 176 | --->"This is the actual plot of the movie." (twice)\ |
| 177 | "Seriously, we're not making this up."\ |
| 178 | "Someone paid a hundred and seventy-five million dollars for this."\ |
| 179 | "How was this allowed to happen?"\ |
| 180 | "This was actually screened at Sundance."\ |
| 181 | "Yes, those are wolf ears on Channing Tatum."\ |
| 182 | "If you think this trailer is dragging on too long, try watching the movie."\ |
| 183 | "We didn't even mention the huge maxi pad." |
| 184 | ** The Honest Trailer was released shortly after Balem's actor, Creator/EddieRedmayne, won an Oscar for Best Actor for ''Film/TheTheoryOfEverything''. After seeing his performance in ''Ascending'', the narrator wonders if Oscars can be retroactively taken away. |
| 185 | ** Also, listing Balem in his unique style of speaking: "''[[[CreepyMonotone whisper]]]'' Eddie... ''[[[SuddenlyShouting shouting]]]'' '''REDMAYNE!'''" |
| 186 | ** "Wait... Creator/SeanBean [[ChronicallyKilledActor dies in every good movie]], but survives ''this'' one?!" |
| 187 | [[/folder]] |
| 188 | |
| 189 | [[folder:''Armageddon'']] |
| 190 | * ''Film/Armageddon1998'' (aka ''[[Film/DieHard Drill Hard]]'') |
| 191 | ** Right out of the gate, the narrator clarifies his stance on Creator/MichaelBay: |
| 192 | --->'''Narrator''': From the promising action director of ''Film/TheRock'', and ''Film/BadBoys1995'', [[EndOfAnEra comes his last fun movie]] before [[Film/Transformers2007 transforming]] into the Michael Bay we all know, ''[[TakeThat and hate]]''. |
| 193 | ** "Gear up for [[OverlyNarrowSuperlative the best film about drilling into an asteroid and nuking it]] [[ObligatoryJoke since]] [[DuelingMovies the one that came out]] [[Film/DeepImpact two months earlier.]]" |
| 194 | ** The narrator considers this "the movie equivalent of Taco Bell": |
| 195 | --->'''Narrator''': Looks okay from the surface, [[SchmuckBait but for the love of God,]] ''[[MST3KMantra don't think too hard about what's inside]].'' |
| 196 | ** "Prepare for an all-out assault on your senses, [[WorldOfHam where everyone is always yelling,]] [[RaceAgainstTheClock the clock]] [[RunningGag is always ticking,]] [[MadeOfExplodium and everything that can go boom, will go boom. Including the title of the movie.]]" |
| 197 | ** Among the ''numerous'' amount of logical fallacies the Narrator brings up in relation to the plot of the movie, [[CreatorCameo he brings up the fact that]] [[TakeThat Michael Bay is seen working at NASA]]. |
| 198 | ** At two separate times, we are treated to comments from Creator/BenAffleck taken straight from the movie's DVDCommentary. And from them, one gets the idea that [[DeadpanSnarker even Affleck was aware of the blatant plot holes]]: |
| 199 | *** After mentioning that [[InsaneTrollLogic it's supposedly easier to train oil drillers how to be astronauts instead of teaching astronauts how to drill]]: |
| 200 | ---->'''Ben Affleck''': (with the caption [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer "ACTUAL COMMENTARY FROM BEN AFFLECK ON THE DVD"]]) I asked Michael why it was easier to train oil drillers to become astronauts than it was to teach astronauts to become oil drillers, [[CreatorsApathy and he told me to shut the f*ck up]]. So, t-that was the end of ''that'' talk... |
| 201 | *** And then there's TheStinger, [[SilentSnarker presented without commentary from the Narrator]]: |
| 202 | ---->'''Harry''': I'm sure they'll make good astronauts... [[TooDumbToLive But they don't know jack about drilling.]] |
| 203 | ---->'''Ben Affleck''': [[InsaneTrollLogic I mean, this is a little bit of a logic stretch, let's face it.]] "They don't know jack about drilling"? How hard can it be? ''[[StatingTheSimpleSolution Aim the drill at the ground, and turn it on.]]'' |
| 204 | ** In summarizing the romantic subplot between A.J. Frost, Grace Stamper, and her dad Harry S. Stamper, the Narrator [[DoubleEntendre goes all in on the drilling metaphors]]: |
| 205 | --->'''Narrator''': If A.J. wants to prove himself worthy of Harry's daughter, he's going to have to drill a ''deep, hard hole'', right in the crack of a ''big, dark rock'', before Harry will admit he's good enough at drilling to drill his daughter. |
| 206 | *** This then gets parlayed into covering [[MemeticMutation the most infamous scene of the movie]]: [[{{Narm}} the Animal Crackers scene]]. |
| 207 | ---->'''Narrator''': And if ''that'' wasn't enough of a creepy father-daughter relationship for you, watch as A.J. seduces Liv Tyler, while [[Music/{{Aerosmith}} her real father]] [[SoundtrackDissonance sings for them in the background]]. |
| 208 | ---->'''Steven Tyler''': (as A.J. plays with Animal Crackers) ''Don't wanna close my eyes!'' |
| 209 | ---->'''Grace''': Do you think it's possible that anyone else in the world is doing this very same thing at this very same moment? |
| 210 | ---->'''Narrator''': [[NoJustNoReaction No. I can you promise you. They are not.]] |
| 211 | [[/folder]] |
| 212 | |
| 213 | [[folder:''Entourage'']] |
| 214 | * * ''Series/{{Entourage}}'' (aka ''the real douchebags of broverly hills'') |
| 215 | * At one point, it references the never ending stream of different kinds of [[TheCameo cameos]]: |
| 216 | -->'''Narrator:''' Cameos from famous people, people not famous enough to play themselves, [[TakeThat people who were never famous]] ''[cue to one of the characters greeting [[Series/MarriedWithChildren David Faustino]]]'' and people who [[RetroactiveRecognition retroactively became more famous than any of the main cast members]].\ |
| 217 | '''Ari:''' You know ''Film/TheStationAgent''?\ |
| 218 | '''E:''' Yeah?\ |
| 219 | '''Ari:''' It's about [[PoliticallyIncorrectHero the midget]] who lives by the train tracks. [[ItWillNeverCatchOn Last time I saw him he was in a FedEx commercial overnighting him to]] ''[[ItWillNeverCatchOn London]].''\ |
| 220 | '''E:''' His name is Creator/PeterDinklage, Ari.\ |
| 221 | ''[cue image of Peter Dinklage as [[Series/GameOfThrones Tyrion Lannister]] looking sternly]''\ |
| 222 | '''Narrator:''' ...''Awkward.'' |
| 223 | [[/folder]] |
| 224 | |
| 225 | [[folder:''The Lost World: Jurassic Park'']] |
| 226 | * ''Film/TheLostWorldJurassicPark'' (aka ''[[Film/TwoFastTwoFurious 2 Jurassic 2 Furious]]''): |
| 227 | ** "Stare helplessly, as [...] the claustrophobic kitchen scene from the first film becomes ''Jurassic [[Series/TheBennyHillShow Benny Hill]]!''" Cue SoundtrackDissonance/YaketySax gag sequence. |
| 228 | ** The San Diego skyline is credited as "[[Film/AnchormanTheLegendOfRonBurgundy A Whale's Vagina]]". |
| 229 | [[/folder]] |
| 230 | |
| 231 | [[folder:''Toy Story'']] |
| 232 | * ''WesternAnimation/ToyStory1'' (aka ''Toy Story: Yeah, that's pretty much what it is''): |
| 233 | ** "From [[{{Creator/Pixar}} the studio]] that singlehandedly stopped Disney from making more terrible sequels to ''WesternAnimation/TheEmperorsNewGroove'' ''[clips of'' Kronk's New Groove ''are shown]'' comes the animated classic that forced every 2D animator to learn how to use a computer...or to get a new job." |
| 234 | ** The announcer describing Sid as "a creepily-rendered young boy [[TechnologyMarchesOn which 90s computers clearly weren't ready for]]." |
| 235 | ** The characters being described as "Creator/VinDiesel" (Mr. Potato Head), "[[Film/ThePrincessBride Inconceivable]] [[Film/JurassicWorld Rex]]" (Rex), "choking hazards" (Army Men), "Green WesternAnimation/{{Minions}}" (Alien Toys), "Music/SidVicious" (Sid), "A Bo Peep lamp? How is ''that'' a toy?" (Bo Peep), "[[Literature/TreasureIsland Long Dog Silver]]" (Slinky), "[[Creator/JonHamm John Hamm]]" (Hamm), "Nanny from ''WesternAnimation/MuppetBabies''" (Andy's Mom), "[[Creator/TomHanks Toy Hanks]]" (Woody) and finally Buzz as the "Creator/TimAllen noise" ("[[Series/HomeImprovement Wheh?]]"). |
| 236 | [[/folder]] |
| 237 | |
| 238 | [[folder:''Terminator 2: Judgment Day'']] |
| 239 | * ''Film/Terminator2JudgmentDay'' (aka ''Terminator 2: Bad They Kept Making Sequels''): |
| 240 | ** The narrator setting the tone of the film: |
| 241 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[lighthearted voice]'' In the grand tradition of [[Franchise/StarWars R2-D2]], WesternAnimation/TheIronGiant, and [[Film/ShortCircuit Johnny Five]], comes another adorable [[ABoyAndHisX kid and their pet robot]] story.\ |
| 242 | ''[shows the T-800 ripping the living tissue cover from its robot arm, leaving it bloody]''\ |
| 243 | '''Narrator:''' ''[in his epic voice]'' Except this one's f[[CensoredForComedy *]]cking intense. ''[shows the scene of the incinerated skeleton getting obliterated while still clinging to the playground fence]'' |
| 244 | ** The narrator showing that real life events could've made the movie even more scary: |
| 245 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[while showing the guard at the mental hospital licking Sarah Connor's face, and the T-1000 skewering people with its morphing sword-like arm]'' [The movie was] full of things we probably weren't ready to see, and would have been even more disturbing if it starred the studio's first choice: O. J. Simpson. ''[shivers]'' |
| 246 | ** The narrator demonstrates that some things just never change: |
| 247 | --->'''Narrator:''' Watch these killers spend the first third of the film in a cat-and-mouse game that will have you guessing which one is the good guy... [[TrailersAlwaysSpoil if the trailers hadn't given it away]].\ |
| 248 | ''[shows scenes from the original trailer]''\ |
| 249 | '''Original Trailer's Narrator:''' ... Once, he was programmed to destroy the future, now his mission is to protect it...\ |
| 250 | '''Narrator:''' A lesson we ''still haven't learned apparently!''\ |
| 251 | ''[shows scenes from the trailer for'' Film/TerminatorGenisys ''that revealed that John Connor was turned into a Terminator]'' |
| 252 | ** "Thrill as they track down the Connor family: Sarah, the UsefulNotes/CheGuevara of soccer moms, with some big guns ''[shows her carrying a {{BFG}}]''... and ''some big guns [shows her toned biceps]'', and John, her... ''[incredulous]'' nine-year-old son? Played by Creator/EdwardFurlong, who would go on to star in numerous court appereances." Furlong is later credited in the "Starring" list as "So Much Promise". |
| 253 | --->'''John Connor (Edward Furlong):''' ''[smugly]'' Did you call ''[[TotallyRadical moi]]''... a dipsh[[CensoredForComedy *]]t?\ |
| 254 | '''Narrator:''' ''[bluntly]'' [[BluntYes Yes]]. |
| 255 | [[/folder]] |
| 256 | |
| 257 | [[folder:''Magic Mike'']] |
| 258 | * ''Film/MagicMike'' (aka ''[[Film/TwentyOneJumpStreet 21 Hump Street]]''): |
| 259 | ** Epic Voice Guy switching his voice tone from a carefree one to a dramatic, serious one and vice versa while describing the plot of the film to convey the film's constant MoodWhiplash. It has to be heard to be believed. |
| 260 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[carefree voice]'' Meet Magic ''Mike''; he may not be a wizard, but he's a hot ''duuude'', with all the right moves! ''[switches to serious voice]'' Who struggles to overcome social stigmas about his job, and can't seem to raise enough money to start his dream business, no matter how hard he tries. ''[switches to carefree voice]'' But that's okay, 'cause he's running onstage next to The Kid, a fresh-faced teen with a ''rawcking'' body! ''[switches to serious voice]'' And a drug problem, that sends him into a downward spiral, alienating his best friend, his sister, and landing him in serious trouble with a violent drug cartel. ''[switches to carefree voice]'' But check out Tarzan! The beefy slab of man-meat! Who... ''[switches to serious voice]'' [[LampshadeHanging ...accidentally roofies himself? Geez weez...]] ''[switches to carefree voice]'' And as always there's Dallas, the ''maestro'' of man-ass! This cowboy can still cut a mean rock! ''[switches to serious voice]'' Who cheats his long-time business partner out of money, abandoning him as soon as it is convening for his own selfish interests. ''[switches to carefree voice]'' But check out those ''aaabs!!! Woo-hoo-hoo!!!'' |
| 261 | ** The trailer pointing out Creator/ChanningTatum ditching the sexy Creator/OliviaMunn for a sour puss with an AnnoyingLaugh. (Cue montage of actress Cody Horn's AnnoyingLaugh throughout the film.) |
| 262 | ** "So get ready, for what's either a really dumb version of ''Film/BoogieNights'', or a really ''smart'' version of ''Film/{{Showgirls}}'', that was [[NeverTrustATrailer way less fun that advertised!]]" |
| 263 | ** Epic Voice Guy's tendency for HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday gets cranked up ''hard'' at the end of the trailer, almost to the point of SuspiciouslySpecificDenial. |
| 264 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[disappointed]'' Aw, come on! There's no big stripping finale?! I was waiting for one big hot dance-off at the end! It'd make perfect sense with the story, right? I mean... ''[nervous]'' I mean, I'm not gay... I just admire the technique, yunno... The athleticism, yunno? Human form and stuff, it's... It's art and stuff... I mean, [[NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat not that there's anything wrong with being gay]]. One of my uncles is gay, it's cool... Um... Love wins... |
| 265 | [[/folder]] |
| 266 | |
| 267 | [[folder:''Iron Man'']] |
| 268 | * ''Film/IronMan1'' (aka ''Marvel Man''): |
| 269 | ** The narrator asserts that the film's sucess proved "that Creator/{{Marvel|Comics}} can build a franchise around just about anybody. Except [[Film/TheIncredibleHulk2008 the Hulk]]." |
| 270 | ** The narrator describing Marvel's "formula for printing money": |
| 271 | --->'''Narrator:''' Take [[CListFodder a half-forgotten, B-list superhero]], cast an unknown or half-forgotten B-list actor, have him fight a [[GenericDoomsdayVillain generic villain]] that [[SuperheroMovieVillainsDie will only last one movie]], fall in love with [[DesignatedLoveInterest a generically strong female character]], [[DeadpanSnarker make a ton of quips]], [[TechnoBabble talk a bunch of science]], [[DestructiveSaviour destroy some public property]], [[TheCameo cram]] Creator/StanLee [[TheCameo in there somewhere]], [[PillarOfLight shoot a blue beam into the sky]], [[SequelHook set up an]] ''[[SequelHook Avengers]]'' [[SequelHook movie]], and force the audience to sit through 500 visual effects guys' names just to catch [[TheStinger a few extra seconds]]. Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. |
| 272 | ** The narrator {{lampshad|eHanging}}ing Tony Stark's similarity with his actor, Creator/RobertDowneyJr: |
| 273 | --->'''Narrator:''' Meet Tony Stark, a hard-partying, Creator/RobertDowneyJr-ish weapons designer, who's the perfect match between actor and role, that allowed him to spend the next seven years making a fortune by pretending to look at a screen ''[shows one of his [[HeadsUpDisplay inside-the-helmet shots]]]'', pretending to play with some holograms ''[showing him with his [[TechnologyPorn gesture-based interface computers]]]'', doing a little voice-over, and basically act like himself until someone says cut. Nice work if you can get it. |
| 274 | ** After a slight TakeThat to [[ComicBook/TheMightyThor Thor]] ("A hero [[ScienceHero whose power is intelligence]], not some magical hammer"), the Narrator starts recounting Tony's tendency to [[CreateYourOwnVillain create his own villains]]: |
| 275 | --->'''Narrator:''' Like this weapon, that's used against him ''[shows the Stark Industries rocket-propelled grenade that wounded Tony in Afghanistan]''; these weapons, that are used against him ''[shows the Stark Industries weapons stockpiled by the Ten Rings]''; this weapon, that's used against him ''[shows the sonic device that Obadiah Stane used to paralyze Tony and take his Arc Reactor]''; this weapon, that's used against him ''[shows the Iron Monger armor, that was reverse-engineered from studying Tony's Mark I armor]'', this miracle technology... ''[shows Tony and Ho Yinsen with the Arc Reactor]'' [[RunningGag ...that becomes a weapon, that's used against him]] ''[shows Ivan Vanko creating his own Arc Reactor for his Whiplash armor]'', and of course, [[Film/AvengersAgeOfUltron Ultron]] ''[shows Ultron and its army of sentries]''. [[NiceJobBreakingItHero Seriously, Tony? Just do the world a favor and stop working]]. |
| 276 | ** "Starring: [[Franchise/{{Batman}} Bruce Wayne]], [[Film/JamesBond Miss Moneypepper]], Obadiah Vein ''[zooms in on Stane's protruding temporal vein]'', [[TheOtherDarrin Terrence How Ard Could It Have Been To Take A Pay Cut For The Sequels?]], Obligatory Creator/{{Stan|Lee}}-[[TheCameo eo]], and WesternAnimation/TheIronGiant." |
| 277 | ** In TheStinger, after seeing Obadiah Stane riding on a Segway, the narrator comments: |
| 278 | --->'''Narrator:''' Wow, that's got to be the only time someone has ever looked cool riding a Segway. |
| 279 | [[/folder]] |
| 280 | |
| 281 | [[folder:''Super Mario Bros.'']] |
| 282 | * ''Film/SuperMarioBros1993'' (aka ''Super Mari-Oh Brother''): |
| 283 | ** "[[Film/MortalKombatTheMovie Before people caught on]] [[Film/ResidentEvilFilmSeries that video game movies]] [[Film/StreetFighter were a terrible idea]], experience the film that proved that video game movies... [[VideoGameMoviesSuck are a terrible idea]]." |
| 284 | ** The narrator doesn't get around with showing the film's InNameOnly-ness: |
| 285 | --->'''Narrator:''' Based on the ''Franchise/SuperMarioBros'' video game... ''kinda''... ''[shows how Koopa is now humanoid]'' Okay, not really at all...\ |
| 286 | ''[later]''\ |
| 287 | '''Narrator:''' Not since ''Film/WorldWarZ'' did a movie had less to do with the source material, where King Koopa [[TerrifiedOfGerms is a hypochondriac]], for some reason... ''[[[LongList goes on for a while, before culminating with...]]]'' ...and [[AdaptationalWimp Mario refuses to jump?]] ''[after showing Mario saying that he's gonna get crushed, and Luigi trying to convince him to jump]'' You ain't gonna jump?! ''You're Mario, dude! That's the only thing you do!'' |
| 288 | ** The narrator thinks that Creator/BobHoskins reprised his role as Eddie from ''Film/WhoFramedRogerRabbit''. Cue a montage of scenes from both ''Super Mario Bros.'' and ''Who Framed Roger Rabbit'' showing him taking the wheel of a car while growling "I'll drive!", screaming when he's about to crash, and him yelling at someone in both movies. |
| 289 | ** The narrator describing the plot... well, ''trying'' to: |
| 290 | --->'''Narrator:''' [Mario and Luigi] will have to save the world from... um, something about another dimension... and a meteor... and this... [[BuffySpeak thingy]] ''[shows [[BodyHorror Daisy's father]]]'' and then this happens ''[shows Koopa and Mario disintegrating as the dimensions merge]''. Man, the video game was already surreal enough, how much acid did these filmmakers take?\ |
| 291 | ''[shows the InNameOnly Goombas dancing with each other]''\ |
| 292 | '''Narrator:''' Okay, all of it. All of the acid. |
| 293 | ** The video twice cuts to interviews with the actors as a NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer. The first when the narrator notices that Dinohattan has [[WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids strippers]], it cuts to a part of the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5S0v_lrGlg video message]] Creator/JohnLeguizamo recorded for the 20th anniversary screening of the film, in which he says that indeed, the filmmakers brought "a whole bunch of strippers"; and the second when the narrator says that the film almost killed Bob Hoskins, it then cuts to an interview with Hoskins: |
| 294 | --->'''Creator/BobHoskins:''' I was stabbed four times, electrocuted, broke a finger, nearly got drowned, and that's just what happened to me.\ |
| 295 | '''Narrator:''' Still less painful than watching the actual movie. |
| 296 | ** "Starring: John Luiguizamo, UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump (Koopa), Yosh[[CensoredForComedy *]]t, The Creepy Parking Garage Guy From ''Film/{{Ferris Bueller|sDayOff}}'' (Spike), That Guy From All Those Movies (Sgt. Simon), VideoGame/DonkeyKong (Anthony Scapelli as a monkey), and [[Wrestling/CaptainLouAlbano Captain Lou]] [[Series/TheSuperMarioBrosSuperShow Albano]] (Mario). |
| 297 | ** In TheStinger, the narrator takes a crack at the film's SequelHook: |
| 298 | --->'''Daisy:''' ''[coming to Luigi and Mario's apartment]'' Luigi! Mario!\ |
| 299 | '''Luigi:''' Daisy!\ |
| 300 | '''Daisy:''' You have to come with me, I need your help!\ |
| 301 | '''Narrator:''' ''[flatly]'' [[StillbornFranchise Yeah, that's not gonna happen]]. |
| 302 | [[/folder]] |
| 303 | |
| 304 | [[folder:''Mission: Impossible'']] |
| 305 | * ''[[Film/MissionImpossibleFilmSeries Mission: Impossible]]'' (aka ''[[LongRunners Franchise: Unkillable]]''): |
| 306 | ** "[[InAWorld In a time]] when Hollywood was [[ContinuityReboot rebooting]] [[Series/LostInSpace all]] [[Film/LostInSpace of]] [[Series/TheBeverlyHillbillies your]] [[Series/TheBradyBunch dad's]] [[Film/TheBradyBunch favorite]] [[Series/TheModSquad TV shows]] [[Film/TheModSquad as movies]], get ready for the only one that actually worked." |
| 307 | ** The narrator {{lampshade|Hanging}}s something about the {{Mission Briefing}}s: |
| 308 | --->'''Narrator:''' [The IMF] will deliver assignments in a ridiculous way to agents who can choose whether or not to accept them. ''[cue montage of the mission briefings from the first four movies, all saying "should you choose to accept it"]'' Um, what happens if they say no? ''[shows the nuclear missile from the fourth film]'' Do we all just... die? |
| 309 | ** The narrator references the "revolving door of directors [who] bring their SignatureStyle to each installment ([[WagTheDirector as long as]] Creator/TomCruise approves)": |
| 310 | --->'''Narrator:''' Featuring the psycho drama of Creator/BrianDePalma, the [[JitterCam shaky cam]] of Creator/JJAbrams, the cartoon sensibilities of Creator/BradBird, and the [[LeapAndFire diving sideways]] [[GunsAkimbo with two pistols at the same time]] [[DisturbedDoves in the middle of a flock of birds]] [[{{Overcrank}} in slow motion]] of Creator/JohnWoo. Come on man, [[Film/TropicThunder never go full Woo]]. |
| 311 | ** The narrator tackles Tom Cruise's {{memetic|Mutation}} BigHeroicRun: |
| 312 | --->'''Narrator:''' Tom Cruise is gonna run, ''[shows his running in the first film]'' is gonna hang, ''[shows the {{climbing|TheCliffsOfInsanity}} scene from the second film, the MissionImpossibleCableDrop of the first three films, and the climbing of the Burj Khalifa in the fourth film]'' and then he's gonna run, some more. ''[shows a montage of scenes from the films of him running]'' Like, a lot more. ''[shows the [[LeaveTheCameraRunning famously long run]] from the third film]'' Wow, that's a long shot of running... ''[[[OverlyLongGag running continues]]]'' ...Aaand cut. Man, he didn't skip leg day. |
| 313 | ** After the narrator points out the franchise's rather strange {{Recurring Element}}s of each film dealing with a rogue IMF agent and an arms dealer: |
| 314 | --->'''Narrator:''' ...One thing is for sure: Everyone is wearing a Franchise/ScoobyDoo mask. ''[cue montague of several characters across the films pulling over their LatexPerfection masks set to Scooby-Doo-like music, complete with the narrator doing "Ruh-uh!" sounds, culminating with...]'' And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for [[YouMeddlingKids that meddling Tom Cruise!]] |
| 315 | ** The "starring" segment is occupied mostly by cloak and dagger tropes (and other things like "Fancy [[FunetikAksent Baaaaalls]]"), but it ends with Music/LimpBizkit, whose song "Take a Look Around"'s riff is derived from the original ''Mission: Impossible'' theme, and was used in ''Mission: Impossible II'', much to the narrator's chagrin. |
| 316 | --->'''Narrator:''' Ugh, I forgot about that. |
| 317 | [[/folder]] |
| 318 | |
| 319 | [[folder:''Fantastic Four'' (2005)]] |
| 320 | * ''Film/FantasticFour2005'' (aka ''[[TakeThat Craptastic Bore]]''): |
| 321 | ** "Before [[Film/FantasticFour2015 the reboot]] that will keep the characters out of Franchise/{{Marvel|CinematicUniverse}}'s hands, but after the Creator/RogerCorman [[Film/TheFantasticFour movie]] that also got the characters out of Marvel's hands, come two other attempts at the franchise, that prove that these characters should really be at Marvel's hands by now." |
| 322 | --->'''Narrator:''' [[Film/XMen1 At a time when comic]] [[Film/SpiderMan2 book movies began to show]] [[Film/BatmanBegins how good they could be]], two films will remind us how badly can they suck. [...] And don't tell me it's impossible to make a good Fantastic Four movie. [[SpiritualAdaptation It's called]] ''WesternAnimation/TheIncredibles1'' and it's perfect. |
| 323 | ** When the narrator explains the films' use of SpaceClouds, he ends up losing his cool after ComicBook/{{Galactus}} is turned into one in the second film: |
| 324 | --->'''Narrator:''' [A] space cloud gives four people completely different superpowers, leading to one movie about recreating the space cloud on Earth, and one movie about trying to save the world from a completely different space cloud.\ |
| 325 | '''Silver Surfer:''' My people call it... Galactus.\ |
| 326 | '''Narrator:''' No, ''this [shows a illustration of Galactus from the comics]'' is Galactus, ''that [shows the space cloud from the film]'' is a space cloud. What is this thing with space clouds? ''Stop making cloud-based villains!'' ''[shows how'' Film/{{Hulk}} ''and'' Film/GreenLantern2011 ''also had cloud villains]'' |
| 327 | ** The narrator starts listing all the bad things that happen to Ben Grimm after he gets transformed into the Thing, ending with him getting rejected by his fiancée for looking different, and then the narrator realizes something: |
| 328 | --->'''Narrator:''' Man, I didn't think that I'd hate [[Characters/TheWalkingDead2010AtlantaSurvivorCamp Andrea]] from ''Series/TheWalkingDead2010'' any more than I already did! |
| 329 | ** The narrator nicknames ComicBook/DoctorDoom and ComicBook/SilverSurfer "[[ComicBook/NormanOsborn The Green Goblin]]" and "[[Film/Terminator2JudgmentDay The T-1000]]", respectively. |
| 330 | ** The narrator tries to pronounce Creator/IoanGruffudd's name. HilarityEnsues: |
| 331 | --->'''Narrator:''' Sorry, I- Ion... Eee-oh-an... Gruffu... fudd... ''[cut to "starring" segment]'' Starring: Ioan Gruffuffu... [[OhNoNotAgain oh not again!]] It has too many vowels ''and'' too many consonants! |
| 332 | ** Then there's the rest of the cast: Elon Mask, Film/MercuryRising, [[Series/BattlestarGalactica1978 Battlecloud]] [[Series/BattlestarGalactica2003 Galacticus]], Creator/{{Jessica Al|ba}}[[MsFanservice Bewbs]], A Rotting Pumpkin, Series/{{Scandal}}ous, and [[ComicBook/CaptainAmerica Captorch Humerica]]. |
| 333 | ** In TheStinger, the narrator weights in on the controversy generated by the casting of an African-American actor as the Human Torch in the 2015 film: |
| 334 | --->'''Narrator:''' Make [[Creator/JessicaAlba a Mexican woman]][[note]]Actually, it was Jessica Alba's paternal grandparents who were both the children of Mexican immigrants, but saying that would've been a mouthful.[[/note]] put on a blonde wig and blue contacts to play Sue Storm, and no one bats an eye. Cast [[Creator/MichaelBJordan a black guy]] as the Human Torch, ''[[MemeticMutation and everyone]] [[Film/TheDarkKnight loses their minds!]]'' |
| 335 | [[/folder]] |
| 336 | |
| 337 | [[folder:''8 Mile'']] |
| 338 | * ''Film/EightMile'' (aka ''Music/{{Eminem}}: TheMovie''): |
| 339 | ** "From [[Music/{{Eminem}} the guy]] who always raps about [[MyBelovedSmother his crazy mom]], a girl named Hailie, and the city of UsefulNotes/{{Detroit}}, comes a film about [[RecurringElement a rapper with a crazy mom and a little girl named Lily, set in the city of Detroit]]. [[PaperThinDisguise But he's got brown hair instead of blond hair]], [[SarcasmMode so he's totally not Eminem]]." |
| 340 | --->'''Narrator:''' You've seen pop stars make terrible {{Vanity Project}}s ''[shows scenes from'' Film/FromJustinToKelly ''and'' Literature/TheLastSong'']'', like ''Film/{{Glitter}}'', ''Film/{{Crossroads|2002}}'', and ''Film/CoolAsIce [shows ''Cool as Ice''[='s=] [[{{Narm}} "Drop that zero and get with the hero"]] scene]''. Now watch Eminem of all people give a respectful, understated job, in the story of a man struggling against a world that judges him based on the color of his skin.\ |
| 341 | '''Jimmy "B-Rabbit" Smith, Jr. (Eminem):''' ''[in a rap battle]'' You don't know what the f*ck I've been to!\ |
| 342 | '''Narrator:''' ''[while showing the rap battle's all-African-American crowd]'' Um... I'm pretty sure they might have an idea. |
| 343 | ** In the "starring" part, Creator/MichaelShannon is credited as "Trailer Park [[Film/ManOfSteel Zod]]", Creator/KimBasinger as "The [[UsefulNotes/FlyingSpaghettiMonster Crying Spaghetti Momster]]", Creator/AnthonyMackie (who would go to play ComicBook/TheFalcon in the Franchise/MarvelCinematicUniverse movies) as "VideoGame/{{Angry Bird|s}}", and Music/{{Xzibit}} as "[[MemeticMutation Yo Dawg, I Heard You Like]] [[TheCameo Cameos]]." |
| 344 | ** In TheStinger, the narrator says that now he can't wait for a Music/{{Drake}} movie about him making it out of that wheelchair in ''Series/{{Degrassi|TheNextGeneration}}''. |
| 345 | [[/folder]] |
| 346 | |
| 347 | [[folder:''Kingsman: The Secret Service'']] |
| 348 | * ''Film/KingsmanTheSecretService'' (aka ''Kings-man That Movie Came out of Nowhere'') |
| 349 | [[/folder]] |
| 350 | |
| 351 | [[folder:''Mad Max: Fury Road'']] |
| 352 | * ''Film/MadMaxFuryRoad'' (aka ''Mad Max: Roadtrip!''): |
| 353 | ** The narrator refers to the movie as a "2 hour game of ''VideoGame/MarioKart'' from Hell". |
| 354 | ** Showing how ''Fury Road'' makes other 2015 blockbusters look [[OvershadowedByAwesome tame by comparison]]. (They even repeat the same gag in the Honest Game Trailer for ''VideoGame/{{Mad Max|2015}}''.) |
| 355 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[[Film/AvengersAgeOfUltron Age of Ultron]] [while showing [[HumongousMecha the Hulkbuster]]]''\ |
| 356 | '''Immortan Joe:''' Mediocre!\ |
| 357 | '''Narrator:''' ''Film/JurassicWorld [while showing the dinosaurs]''\ |
| 358 | '''Immortan Joe''': Mediocre!\ |
| 359 | '''Narrator:''' ''Film/TerminatorGenisys [while showing the T-800 make its [[TheUnSmile un-smile]]]''\ |
| 360 | ''[[[TakeThat Furiosa screams anguishedly in the desert]]]'' |
| 361 | ** The scene even does double-duty as CrossesTheLineTwice if you've watched [[TearJerker/MadMaxFuryRoad the actual scene and know how sad it is.]] |
| 362 | ** "Starring: Creator/{{Tom Hard|y}}[[OutOfFocus ly in the Movie]] (Max), [[Film/TheFastAndTheFurious Fast & Furiosa]] (Furiosa), [[Literature/AboutABoy About a War Boy]] (Nux), [[Film/TheDarkKnightRises Bane with a Sleep Apnea Machine]] (Immortan Joe), [[Radio/TheHowardSternShow Eric the Actor]] (Corpus Colossus), Film/{{Powder}}s (The War Boys), Series/TheRealHousewives of the Citadel (The Wives), [[ThePowerOfRock You Will Never]] Be This Metal (The Doof Warrior), and Music/{{Darude}}[[MemeticMutation - Sandstorm]] (ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin). |
| 363 | ** In TheStinger, the narrator trying to use the chrome spray paint, and saying it tastes terrible. |
| 364 | [[/folder]] |
| 365 | |
| 366 | [[folder:''Frozen Fever'']] |
| 367 | * ''WesternAnimation/FrozenFever'' (aka ''Frozen Reminder''): |
| 368 | ** The narrator demonstrates that Creator/{{Disney}} and Honest Trailers aren't so different about certain things. |
| 369 | -->'''Narrator:''' When Creator/{{Disney}} slapped ''WesternAnimation/{{Frozen|2013}}''[='=]s name on a short film to squeeze more cash out of their biggest hit ''[shows that'' Frozen''[='=]s gross was over $400 million]'', [[BitingTheHandHumor Honest Trailers had the perfect excuse]] to slap ''Frozen''[='=]s name on a video to squeeze more views out of ''[[SelfDeprecation our]]'' biggest hit. ''[shows that the Honest Trailer for'' Frozen ''has over 25,500,000 views]'' |
| 370 | ** The narrator's reaction to the cost of the Blu-ray collection containing the short. |
| 371 | --->'''Narrator:''' [The short is] now available on Blu-ray-- ''for twenty bucks?! [zooms over the Blu-ray's cost on'' Amazon'', which is $23.52]'' No, that is ''it!'' Daddy's done spending money on this ''Frozen'' crap! ''[a girl cries on the background]'' Stop crying, we're poor now! |
| 372 | ** The narrator ''and'' Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger cringing at the forced use of {{Catch Phrase}}s. |
| 373 | --->'''Narrator:''' Full of not-so-subtle {{call back}}s to the original movie, and catchphrases so forced they would make Schwarzenegger blush.\ |
| 374 | '''Elsa:''' I don't get cold. Besides... ♫ ''the cold never bothered me anyway...'' ♫ \ |
| 375 | '''Narrator:''' ''[while showing Schwarzenegger as the T-800 in'' Film/Terminator2JudgmentDay ''cringe]'' '''UGH!''' |
| 376 | ** The "starring" segment being occupied by reasons Disney needs to keep ''Frozen'' relevant, starting with a Broadway show and its presence in the Ride/DisneyThemeParks, and escalating to [[CashCowFranchise increasingly bizarre merchandise for the movie]], culminating in a snow cone machine shaped like Olaf, which the narrator claims is just [[{{Squick}} you eating Olaf's intestines while he watches]] (due to its design). |
| 377 | ** TheStinger: |
| 378 | --->'''Narrator:''' Do you remember when Disney actually tried to hide the [[VisualInnuendo innuendoes]] in their films? 'Cause those things [the snowgies] look like chubby little d-- ''[[CurseCutShort BE SURE TO SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE HONEST TRAILERS]]'' |
| 379 | [[/folder]] |
| 380 | |
| 381 | [[folder:''The Happening'']] |
| 382 | * ''Film/TheHappening'' (aka ''What the F*** Is Happening?''): |
| 383 | ** The trailer begins with: |
| 384 | --->'''Narrator:''' From Creator/MNightShyamalan... [[SarcasmMode oh boy, this should be good...]] comes one of the best laugh out loud comedies of 2008, that was supposed to be a horror movie?\ |
| 385 | '''Mrs. Jones:''' Plan on murdering me on my sleep?\ |
| 386 | '''Elliot Moore:''' [[MemeticMutation What? Nooooooooooooo]]. |
| 387 | ** The narrator doing a pretty good rundown on Shyamalan's career... |
| 388 | --->'''Narrator:''' You loved ''Film/TheSixthSense'' and ''Film/{{Unbreakable}}'', you liked... ''parts'' of ''Film/{{Signs}}'', ''Film/{{The Village|2004}}'' and ''Film/LadyInTheWater'' made you say, "oh," but before the violent car crash that was ''Film/TheLastAirbender'', there was ''The Happening''... |
| 389 | ** ...and a pretty good summary of the film itself. |
| 390 | --->'''Narrator:''' ...a film about a thing that happens, ''[cue montage of several characters using the word "happening"]'' then stops happening.\ |
| 391 | '''Elliot Moore:''' Nothing happened.\ |
| 392 | '''Narrator:''' It's even dumber than it sounds. |
| 393 | ** The narrator saying that Creator/MarkWahlberg "delivers a Creator/DonnieWahlberg-level performance." |
| 394 | ** The description of the film's antagonistic force: |
| 395 | --->'''Narrator:''' [The protagonists will] run from the least scary monster in film history: [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Gently. Rustling. Leaves.]] ''[cut to a montage of the trees seen in the film, that goes for about 15 seconds]'' Wow, they actually found trees more boring than the [[Film/TheLordOfTheRings Ents]]. |
| 396 | ** The narrator calling the movie "the first movie since ''Film/GroundhogDay'' to make suicide look ''kinda'' hilarious." |
| 397 | ** The narrator asks a character in the film his opinion on hot dogs. MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext in the film. |
| 398 | --->'''Narrator:''' Hey, what's your take on hot dogs, random person?\ |
| 399 | '''Nursery Owner:''' You know hot dogs get a bad rap? They got a cool shape, they got protein. ''[to Alma]'' You like hot dogs right?\ |
| 400 | '''Narrator:''' Good to know. |
| 401 | ** And when it comes to the trademark Shyamalan twist: |
| 402 | --->'''Narrator:''' As you wait for the inevitable Shyamalan twist... that never comes. The twist is: there is no twist. The trees did it. Then it ends. ''Ugh''. |
| 403 | ** The "Starring" list consists simply of the trees and other plants that appear in the film, including the [[MemeticMutation famous]] plastic tree, a tree that the narrator wasn't sure of what kind was until a character points out it's a maple tree, and "A Mannequin" (Alma/Creator/ZooeyDeschanel). |
| 404 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[as Alma stares blankly]'' Uh, hello? Are you okay? |
| 405 | [[/folder]] |
| 406 | |
| 407 | [[folder:''Furious 7'']] |
| 408 | * ''[[Film/TheFastAndTheFurious Furious 7]]'' (aka ''[[Franchise/StarWars Car Wars]]: [[Film/TheForceAwakens Episode VII]]''): |
| 409 | ** The trailer begins by pointing out the franchise's odd naming conventions: |
| 410 | --->'''Narrator:''' You've seen it with the [[SpellMyNameWithAThe "The's"]], you've seen it without the "The's", you've seen it with just the "Fast", and with "2's" where the "The's" should be. Now, prepare for the latest mix of F-words and numbers in: ''Furious 7''... Nah, that's so boring! Can we use the [[MarketBasedTitle Japanese title]]? ''Wild Speed: Sky Mission''. ''Way'' better. |
| 411 | ** The narrator puts into question the whole "OneLastJob" theme: |
| 412 | --->'''Narrator:''' After six ''Fast and Furiouses'', you thought they were done, because they more or less keep saying that they're done. But now they're back for one last ride. Again. Which is, at the bare minimum, their next-to-last ride. ''[shows that there's already a release date for the next film]'' |
| 413 | ** The narrator referencing the series' unrelenting SequelEscalation: |
| 414 | --->'''Narrator:''' But after that ride, they've got to be done riding, right? I mean, where they're gonna go next? Space?\ |
| 415 | '''Roman Pearce:''' First a tank, then a plane, now we got a spaceship?!\ |
| 416 | '''Narrator:''' ''I would totally watch that''. |
| 417 | ** The narrator's way of describing the evolution of the series: |
| 418 | --->'''Narrator:''' What began as ''Film/{{Point Break|1991}}'' [[JustForFun/RecycledINSPACE with cars]] has been spun-off, ''[shows ''The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift'']'' rebooted, ''[shows ''Fast & Furious'']'' turned into a heist film, ''[shows ''Fast Five'']'' and jacked up on steroids ''[shows [[Wrestling/DwayneJohnson Luke Hobbs]]]'' [...] in a franchse that has completely ditched its street racing roots, but still remains as commited as ever to ''[[{{Fanservice}} booty]]''. ''[cut to montage of the films' {{Fanservice Extra}}s]'' |
| 419 | ** The narrator thinks that, after the "awesome car skydiving sequence" and the "incredible skyscraper jump scene", "their budget ran out before the finale", which is why it is "a generic car chase while two gorillas [Dom and Deckard Shaw] hit each other with sticks in a parking lot." |
| 420 | ** The narrator's description of Dominic Toretto: |
| 421 | --->'''Narrator:''' So hit the streets once again with Dominic Toretto, master of the over-the-shoulder dramatic turn around, who's so Italian, he wore a tank top to his own wedding. He's the man with the plan, even if the plan is incredibly stupid; like driving headfirst into a car, driving headfirst off a cliff, driving headfirst into a car, ''again'', or driving headfirst off a parking garage. You'll begin to wonder if it was repeated head trauma that gave him his trademark mumble growl. |
| 422 | ** Starring: Michelle Roadriguez (Creator/MichelleRodriguez), Honda Rousey (Creator/RondaRousey), Tyregrease Gibson (Tyrese Gibson), Ludacruise (Ludacris), Racin' Statham (Creator/JasonStatham), Jordana Vroomster (Creator/JordanaBrewster), Lucas Blacktop (Lucas Black), Drivon Honksu (Creator/DjimonHounsou), Kurb Russell (Creator/KurtRussell), Lane "The Rock" Johnson ([[Wrestling/DwayneJohnson Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson]]), and Creator/VinDiesel. |
| 423 | --->'''Narrator:''' That's just his name, that's not a pun. |
| 424 | ** The trailer actually having ''three'' [[TheStinger Stingers]]: |
| 425 | --->'''Narrator:''' We couldn't decide which ending we liked better for this trailer, so here are all three: |
| 426 | *** Ending #1: |
| 427 | ---->'''Narrator:''' Remember in the trailer when The Rock beat up Statham, flexed out of a cast, and shot that drone? Because that's everything he does in the movie! Come on! You got The Rock; use him, for crying out loud! |
| 428 | *** Ending #2: |
| 429 | ---->'''Narrator:''' It's really nice how racially diverse this movie is without calling a bunch of attention to itself.\ |
| 430 | '''Dominic Toretto:''' Race wars. We invented it.\ |
| 431 | '''Narrator:''' Oh, nevermind. |
| 432 | *** Ending #3: |
| 433 | ---->'''Deckard Shaw:''' See you and me? We're from different worlds.\ |
| 434 | '''Narrator:''' Hey, you stole that from Music/HootieAndTheBlowfish! |
| 435 | [[/folder]] |
| 436 | |
| 437 | [[folder:''Peter Pan'' (1953)]] |
| 438 | * ''Disney's WesternAnimation/PeterPan'' (aka ''Disney's Music/MichaelJackson''): |
| 439 | ** The description of Neverland: "A war-torn island where full-grown adults force orphans to join their ranks or die. It's like a magical Sudan!" |
| 440 | ** The narrator gets utterly embarrassed by the film's [[ValuesDissonance portrayal of Native Americans]]. It goes FromBadToWorse when he tries to switch to other Disney movies: |
| 441 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[after showing the Indian Chief say "How"]'' Wow, I don't even remember that part.\ |
| 442 | ''[shows Peter and the Indians making a stereotypical war cry]''\ |
| 443 | '''Narrator:''' Wow, that is ''really'' bad.\ |
| 444 | ''[shows John, Michael and the Lost Boys singing the "We're about to fight the Indians" line from "Following the Leader"]''\ |
| 445 | '''Narrator:''' Okay, ''enough''.\ |
| 446 | '''One of the Lost Boys:''' What makes a red man red?\ |
| 447 | '''Narrator:''' ''Enough!''\ |
| 448 | ''[shows more Indians making a stereotypical war cry]''\ |
| 449 | '''Narrator:''' Stop!\ |
| 450 | '''Captain Hook:''' Those redskins know the island...\ |
| 451 | '''Narrator:''' Just switch to another Disney movie!\ |
| 452 | ''[shows a clip of [[MagicalNegro Uncle Remus]] from ''Film/SongOfTheSouth'']''\ |
| 453 | '''Narrator:''' Not that one!\ |
| 454 | ''[shows a clip of the Siamese cats from ''WesternAnimation/LadyAndTheTramp'' singing "We Are Siamese (If You Please)" in [[AsianSpeekeeEngrish stereotypical mangled English]]]''\ |
| 455 | '''Narrator:''' No, don't show that one, show a different one!\ |
| 456 | ''[shows [[MagicalNegro Jim Crow]] from ''WesternAnimation/{{Dumbo}}'']''\ |
| 457 | '''Narrator:''' Oh that was so much worse...\ |
| 458 | ''[shows [[EthnicScrappy Shun Gon]] from ''WesternAnimation/TheAristocats'']''\ |
| 459 | '''Narrator:''' This is all so much worse than I remember! Go to starring, ''go to starring!'' |
| 460 | ** The Indian Chief is credited in the "Starring" list as "The Washington R... [[LastSecondWordSwap DC Football Team.]]" |
| 461 | ** In TheStinger: |
| 462 | --->'''Narrator:''' So his name was "Hook" before Peter cut off his hand? And I thought "[[WesternAnimation/TheLionKing1994 Scar]]" was a convenient villain name. |
| 463 | [[/folder]] |
| 464 | |
| 465 | [[folder:''Avengers: Age of Ultron'']] |
| 466 | * ''Film/AvengersAgeOfUltron'' (aka ''Avengers: [[ExtremelyShortTimespan Roughly One Week]] of Ultron''): |
| 467 | ** The narrator references how the film had a lot of hype to live up to... and didn't. |
| 468 | --->'''Narrator:''' After the mind-blowing sucess of ''Film/{{The Avengers|2012}}'', the game-changing thrills of ''[[Film/CaptainAmericaTheWinterSoldier The Winter Soldier]]'', and the unexpected surprise of ''Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy2014'', you thought there was ''no way'' the next ''Avengers'' could live up to the hype. YOU. WERE. RIGHT.\ |
| 469 | '''Narrator:''' I mean, it's definitely good, just not great, you know what I mean? Like, certainly enjoyable but, you know... Oh man, we're gonna catch hell from this anyway. |
| 470 | ** The narrator bringing up how the Avengers [[SupermanStaysOutOfGotham stayed out of each other's problems]] in between ''Avengers'' films: |
| 471 | --->'''Narrator:''' When [[Film/IronMan3 the Mandarin seemingly killed Iron Man and took the President hostage]], the Avengers didn't assemble. When [[Film/ThorTheDarkWorld Malekith almost destroyed the universe]], the Avengers didn't assemble. And when [[Film/CaptainAmericaTheWinterSoldier a terrorist organization infiltrated S.H.I.E.L.D. and came just seconds away from killing millions]], the Avengers ''still'' didn't assemble. But when a remote [[ComicBook/{{Hydra}} HYDRA]] base ''might'' be hiding something, every single Avenger is assembling all up this business! |
| 472 | ** The narrator seems to not be amused by ComicBook/{{Quicksilver}}, is a bit confused about ComicBook/ScarletWitch, and is ''really'' confused about ComicBook/TheVision. |
| 473 | --->'''Narrator:''' One [Quicksilver] is a lame Russian knockoff of [[Film/XMenDaysOfFuturePast the X-Man that Fox did way better]], one [Scarlet Witch] has... hand-wavy mind control powers? And can also [[{{Trainstopping}} stop trains]]? And the other [The Vision] is a beam-shooting, 3D-printed vibranium robot, plus J.A.R.V.I.S., plus the Mind Stone, who can fly, and... makes capes? What? Can one of you guys explain Vision to me? I have no idea of who or what he is. |
| 474 | ** The narrator takes a moment to remember great MCU villains. He realizes that he only considers one to fit the bill. |
| 475 | --->'''Narrator:''' You've seen great Marvel movie villains, like [[Film/{{Thor}} Lo]][[Film/TheAvengers2012 ki]], and... ''[shows [[Film/IronMan1 Obadiah Stane]]]'' No. ''[shows [[Film/CaptainAmericaTheWinterSoldier Alexander Pierce]]]'' No. ''[shows [[Film/IronMan3 Aldrich Killian]]]'' No. ''[shows [[Film/IronMan2 Ivan Vanko]]]'' ''Definitely'' not. ''[shows [[Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy2014 Ronan the Accuser]]]'' Not even close. Huh, guess still it's just Loki! |
| 476 | ** The trailer's reaction to Ultron's ColonyDrop plan is to abruptly cut the background music and put a clip of Tony Stark's "Not a great plan" line from ''The Avengers''. |
| 477 | ** The narrator's opinion of Hawkeye getting more screentime is that there's now time "for your least favorite Avenger to become [[DamnedByFaintPraise your third or fourth least favorite Avenger]]." |
| 478 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[sarcastically]'' Oh Hawkeye, good for you! We like you now. |
| 479 | ** The narrator bringing up how the movie has "tons... of... ''[[WorldOfSnark quips]]''." |
| 480 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[after showing a montage of the various quips through the movie] Stop quipping! [shows a even more hefty montage of quips]'' Ugh man, these things are going to be insufferable when Film/AntMan1 and [[Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy2014 Star Lord]] show up. |
| 481 | ** The "Starring" list: [[Series/MisterRogersNeighborhood Mr. Rogers]] (Captain America), [[ComicBook/AntMan Hank Pym]] (Tony Stark), [[ProductPlacement Beats by Bruce]] (Bruce Banner), [[ToylessToylineCharacter Good Luck Finding]] ''[[ToylessToylineCharacter Her]]'' [[ToylessToylineCharacter Action Figure]] (Black Widow), WesternAnimation/{{Archer}} (Hawkeye), [[Film/TheFastAndTheFurious Farm and Furious]] (Nick Fury), So ''That's'' What Creator/AndySerkis Looks Like (Ulysses Klaue), Resting Witch Face (Scarlet Witch), Film/TheQuickAndTheDead (Quicksilver), CGI ''[[FunetikAksent Baaalls]]'' (J.A.R.V.I.S. and Ultron's [=AIs=]), Super Siri (The Vision), [[Franchise/{{Terminator}} Skynet]] (Ultron), and The New Avengers... Yay? |
| 482 | ** In TheStinger: |
| 483 | --->'''Narrator:''' I'm calling it, the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier will become the MCU's [[Film/TheLordOfTheRings eagles]]. |
| 484 | [[/folder]] |
| 485 | |
| 486 | [[folder:''Aladdin'']] |
| 487 | * ''WesternAnimation/{{Aladdin}}'' (aka ''[[SpotlightStealingSquad A Genie]]''): |
| 488 | ** "Watch [Jasmine] slum it up with Aladdin, a hunky thief with no home, no parents, and no nipples!" |
| 489 | ** The narrator calls Aladdin and Jasmine's love story "the most realistic love story in ''Creator/{{Disney}}'' history," but not for the reasons one might expect: |
| 490 | --->'''Narrator:''' ...as the guy asks the girl to trust him ''[shows Aladdin asking "Do you trust me?" twice]'', then says whatever it takes to get into her Music/MCHammer pants ''[shows the Genie [[StatingTheSimpleSolution trying to convince Aladdin to tell Jasmine the truth]], to no avail]'', and at the end of it all, must face the consequences of his pathological lying, by [[BrokenAesop getting everything he ever wanted]]. |
| 491 | ** The narrator {{lampshade|Hanging}}s how TheGenieKnowsJackNicholson: |
| 492 | --->'''Narrator:''' Sit back as Creator/RobinWilliams [[SpotlightStealingSquad takes over the film]] as the magical Genie, who's so powerful, [[AnachronismStew he does impressions of people who won't be born for hundreds of years]] ''[shows a montage of Genie's impressions of Creator/ArnoldSchwarzenegger, Creator/RodneyDangerfield, [[Series/TheEdSullivanShow Ed Sullivan]], Creator/JackNicholson (of course), and Creator/PeterLorre]'' Kids just love a good Peter Lorre. |
| 493 | ** The song parodies return! Featuring: |
| 494 | *** The Narrator's Song ("Arabian Nights"): |
| 495 | ---->''A [[FramingDevice framing deviiiiice]]\ |
| 496 | For this whimsical tale\ |
| 497 | The credits will go\ |
| 498 | Much faster you know\ |
| 499 | So the young kids won't bail'' |
| 500 | *** The "'Telling Kids It's Okay To Steal' song" ("Jump Ahead"): |
| 501 | ---->'''Aladdin:''' Stealing / It's fine if you need it / Get yours / Forget the police / Feed me or I will disturb the peace\ |
| 502 | '''Guards:''' Where did / you get / [[AnachronismStew A French / baguette?]]\ |
| 503 | '''Aladdin:''' [[ISOStandardUrbanGroceries That's how cartoon bread's drawn]]! |
| 504 | *** The "'Take Your Kid to the Bathroom' song" ("Prince Ali"): |
| 505 | ---->''Time to pee''\ |
| 506 | ''Nothing to see''\ |
| 507 | ''Release your [[GratuitousSpanish agua!]]''\ |
| 508 | \ |
| 509 | ''Wash your hands''\ |
| 510 | ''Zip up your pants''\ |
| 511 | ''You can trust me''\ |
| 512 | \ |
| 513 | ''Aladdin's turned to a prince''\ |
| 514 | ''Don't worry, [[ItMakesSenseInContext it all makes sense]]''\ |
| 515 | ''No need to whine anymore''\ |
| 516 | ''Your kid can pee'' |
| 517 | *** The "'Kidnapping Your Date' song" ("A Whole New World"): |
| 518 | ---->'''Aladdin:''' I just kidnapped this girl / 'Cause her midriff is sexy / We are up here / Now let's see / [[DoubleEntendre if she'll rub my lamp tonight]] / I'll pork this girl / As long as that's okay with you / No creepy long-faced dudes / Or family feuds / To keep us from porking\ |
| 519 | '''Jasmine:''' You'll pork this girl / Your [[MagicCarpet sentient rug]] can watch us too / Even though you're a fraud / I like that bod / So I'll enjoy an airborne pork with you\ |
| 520 | '''Aladdin:''' [[BestialityIsDepraved You are so much hotter than Abu!]] |
| 521 | *** And "the Creator/RobinWilliams song" ("Friend Like Me"): |
| 522 | ---->''Can Creator/JoshGad do this?\ |
| 523 | Can Creator/JackBlack do that?\ |
| 524 | Can Creator/JimCarrey pull this off\ |
| 525 | Without his [[Film/TheMask mask]]?\ |
| 526 | \ |
| 527 | Mr. Creator/HughJackman, sir\ |
| 528 | This ain't the Tonys\ |
| 529 | The torch can pass\ |
| 530 | Go ahead, recast\ |
| 531 | But I'll always be the best\ |
| 532 | Always be the best\ |
| 533 | Give {{the remake}} talk a rest\ |
| 534 | It'll be a mess\ |
| 535 | 'Cause I'll always be the best Genie!\ |
| 536 | You ain't never gonna recast me'' |
| 537 | ** The "Starring" list: A Liar (Aladdin), Film/BlueJasmine (Princess Jasmine), [[DistaffCounterpart Male]]-[[Film/{{Maleficent}} eficent]] (Jafar), The Original VideoGame/{{Angry Bird|s}} (Iago), [[Literature/CuriousGeorge Curious Abu]] (Abu), [[ThatOneLevel The Hardest Level in the]] UsefulNotes/{{Super Nintendo|EntertainmentSystem}} [[VideoGame/AladdinCapcom Game]] (The wall of lava in the Cave of Wonders), [[Film/TheBigLebowski Really Ties the Room Together]] (Magic Carpet), and [[Creator/RobinWilliams Robbin]] [[SpotlightStealingSquad Screentime]] (Genie). |
| 538 | ** In TheStinger, the narrator realizes something... ''awkward'', to say the least: |
| 539 | --->'''Narrator:''' That Jasmine is so {{hot|Consort}}, right guys? May be the hottest Franchise/DisneyPrincess ever. Well, guess what? [[JailBaitTaboo She's fifteen years old]]. ''[shows a line on her Website/{{Wikipedia}} page that says she's a few days short of her 16th birthday, and Genie doing a JawDrop]'' Don't you feel gross now? Well, at least it's OK for Aladdin to-- ''[shows a line from his Wikipedia page that says that he's eighteen]'' Uh-oh. |
| 540 | [[/folder]] |
| 541 | |
| 542 | [[folder:''Jurassic World'']] |
| 543 | * ''Film/JurassicWorld'' (aka ''[[Film/SyFyChannelOriginalMovie Raptor Rex vs. Dinoshark]]''): |
| 544 | ** At the beginning, the narrator struggles to pronounce director Colin Trevorrow's name, before giving up and just calling him "Not Creator/StevenSpielberg." |
| 545 | ** The narrator describes the film as "the best ''Film/JurassicPark'' sequel ever made... which ''really'' isn't saying much," showing the infamous talking Velociraptor dream sequence from ''Film/JurassicParkIII''. |
| 546 | ** The narrator lampshades how life imitates art: |
| 547 | --->'''Narrator:''' It's been 22 years since ''Film/JurassicPark'' opened its gates. [...] Now, desperate for profits, Jurassic World is here [...] to exploit a new generation by selling them the same basic premise they already sold to their parents, to the point where they literally break out a pair of nostalgia googles. Wait, we're talking about the movie, or the reason this movie exists? I really can't tell anymore. |
| 548 | ** The narrator calls Jurassic World "an awesome dinosaur version of Ride/SeaWorld... that's another ''Film/{{Blackfish}}'' documentary waiting to happen." |
| 549 | ** The narrator's completely dumbfounded response to [=InGen's=] security chief's planned use to the Velociraptors: |
| 550 | --->'''Narrator:''' They'll have to thwart [=InGen's=] plan to strap cameras on barely-trained raptor's heads, and use them to hunt terrorists in Afghanistan. Wait, what? I need to read that again. ''[goes to mumblingly repeat what he just said]'' No, it's what it says. ''Wow'', that is like a [[Film/AustinPowers Dr. Evil-level]] of stupid right there!\ |
| 551 | '''Dr. Evil:''' I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with [[EnergyWeapon Frickin' Laser Beams]] attached to their heads! |
| 552 | ** In response of the complaints about Claire running in high heels, the narrator goes on to give a LongList of questions about what he considers {{Plot Hole}}s (or just things implied to be unnecessary to the film, like the subplot of Claire's sister's family), except for the second-to-last one, which is "Wait, did that raptor jump on that ''T. rex'''s back to get leverage? Because that's awesome." At the end, he concludes: |
| 553 | --->'''Narrator:''' But who cares? 'Cause that ''T. rex'' and raptor tag team fight was ''awesome!'' |
| 554 | ** Starring: [[Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy2014 Zoo Lord]] (Owen Grady), [[Creator/BryceDallasHoward Bryce Dallas Texas]] (Claire Dearing), [[Creator/VincentDOnofrio Vincent Donut Fritos]] (Vic Hoskins), Human [=BuzzFeed=] (Lowery Cruthers), [[Series/BillNyeTheScienceGuy Bill Nye the Evil Guy]] (Dr. Henry Wu), Shamu (the Mosasaurus), [[DeusExMachina Tyrannosaurus Ex Machina]] (the Tyrannosaurus rex), [[Film/OldSchool You're My Boy, Blue!]] (the Velociraptor), and The Plotosaurus Rex (the Indominus rex). |
| 555 | ** In TheStinger: |
| 556 | --->'''Narrator:''' You know, for such a ridiculous movie, they really nailed what's like to watch a Creator/JimmyFallon sketch, am I right?\ |
| 557 | ''[shows a [[ShowWithinAShow sketch within the movie]] of Fallon, and the kids watching it [[TakeThat looking bored at it while]] ChirpingCrickets [[TakeThat sound in the background]]]'' |
| 558 | [[/folder]] |
| 559 | |
| 560 | [[folder:''Back to the Future'']] |
| 561 | * ''Franchise/BackToTheFuture'' (aka ''[[Film/BillAndTedsExcellentAdventure Doc and Marty's Excellent Adventure]]''): |
| 562 | ** After the requests come up at the beginning, a soundbite of Marty saying "This is heavy!" is heard. |
| 563 | ** The movies are introduced as: |
| 564 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''["Creator/StevenSpielberg Presents" appears on the screen]'' From Steven Spielberg... ''[is followed by "A Creator/RobertZemeckis Film"]'' ...'s buddy. |
| 565 | ** The three movies are described as "the blockbuster hit that stands the test of time, the sequel that lauched a million B.S. Website/{{Facebook}} posts, [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg and the third one]]." |
| 566 | ** The summary of the three movies: |
| 567 | --->'''Narrator:''' Featuring the one where they travel to the past, beat up the bully, fix the future, and set up the sequel; the one where they travel to the past, beat up the bully, fix the future, and set up the sequel, and the one where they travel to the past, beat up the bully, fix the future, and leave open the possibility for a sequel.\ |
| 568 | [...]\ |
| 569 | '''Biff Tannen:''' There's something very familiar about all this... |
| 570 | ** The narrator finds Doc Brown a bit questionable. |
| 571 | --->'''Narrator:''' He's a mad scientist who steals nuclear weapons from terrorists;\ |
| 572 | '''Doc Brown:''' They wanted me to build them a bomb, so I took that plutonium and in turn gave them a shoddy bomb casing full of used pinball machine parts!\ |
| 573 | '''Narrator:''' Tests dangerous experiments on animals, and chose to build a time machine out of one of the most unreliable cars of all time. |
| 574 | ** After pointing out all the {{squick}}y parts of the films (such as how Marty's mom was into him in the 50's, and Biff, who attempted to rape her, eventually ended up doing the chores around the house), he says that "it's still not as creepy as Doc's kid from the end of the third one." The video then points out that one of Doc's kids, while Doc was doing his "Your future hasn't been written yet" speech, was doing BringIt gestures and ''pointing to his crotch.''[[labelnote:*]]According to cast members, the boy was trying to subtly indicate to the director that he had to go to the bathroom.[[/labelnote]] |
| 575 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''What is he doing?!'' |
| 576 | ** Starring: Franchise/RickAndMorty (Doc and Marty), UsefulNotes/DonaldTrump (Biff Tannen), Film/TheThreeStooges (Biff's gang) ...[[RetroactiveRecognition Hey, That's]] Creator/BillyZane! (one of Biff's gang), [[Creator/CrispinGlover Crisping Lover]] (George [=McFly=]), MILF (Lorraine), Legit Musician Cameos (shows the cameos of Music/{{Huey Lewis|AndTheNews}}, [[Music/RedHotChiliPeppers Flea]], and Music/ZZTop), and [[Film/HotTubTimeMachine Hot Car Time Machine]] (the [=DeLorean=]). |
| 577 | [[/folder]] |
| 578 | |
| 579 | [[folder:''Inside Out'']] |
| 580 | * ''WesternAnimation/InsideOut'' (aka ''The Feels''): |
| 581 | ** Collectively describing Fear, Anger, and Disgust as "[[InternetJerk your average YouTube comment section]]". |
| 582 | ** "The movie that made grown-ups say 'phew, Pixar is good again!' and made kids everywhere say 'why are you crying, daddy?'" |
| 583 | ** Their take on why the film's main focus is on an 11-year-old girl's mind: |
| 584 | --->'''Narrator:''' ...because if it were about a guy, [[AllMenArePerverts it would be a porno.]] |
| 585 | ** His reaction to Bing-bong. |
| 586 | --->'''Narrator''': And Bing... ''({{Ahem}})'' And Bing-bong. [-[[InelegantBlubbering Keep it together, Voice Guy]]-]! And Bing-bong, the ImaginaryFriend we have to leave behind, so we can grow up to be healthy, normal adults... [-[[MyGodWhatHaveIDone I'm sorry, Mr. Squizzlewort! I'll never forget you as long as I live!]]-] |
| 587 | ** In the Starring segment, Disgust is referred to as "Series/{{The Mindy Project}}ile Vomit". |
| 588 | ** Epic Voice Guy's reaction to the existence of BoyBand Island and [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Tragic Vampire Romance]] Island at the end: |
| 589 | --->'''Narrator:''' Ugh, great, [[TakeThat Riley sucks now]]. |
| 590 | [[/folder]] |
| 591 | |
| 592 | %%[[folder:''Honest Teaser: The Force Awakens'']] |
| 593 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 594 | |
| 595 | [[folder:''Terminator Genisys'']] |
| 596 | * ''Film/TerminatorGenisys'' (aka ''Terminator Genishyt''): |
| 597 | ** The trailer begins with: |
| 598 | --->'''Narrator:''' The following trailer is rated S for spoilers. Unlike this movie's ''actual'' trailer that gave away ''the only cool part of the entire movie!'' |
| 599 | ** The narrator being puzzled at the title, which appears complete with the red line that denotes spelling errors in Microsoft Word below the word "Genisys" in the title card. |
| 600 | --->'''Narrator:''' They... they mean "Genesis," right? ''["Genisys" is deleted from the title card and "Genesis" written instead]'' There we go, that feels better. |
| 601 | ** The narrator at one point pulls one hell of a BaitAndSwitch. |
| 602 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[while showing scenes of the T-1000 searching]'' No matter where you run, no matter where you hide, you'll never escape from ''Creator/JaiCourtney''. [[PoorMansSubstitute The homeless man's]] Creator/ChanningTatum is back, and he's turned Kyle Reese into [[DullSurprise a blank-faced moron where charisma goes to die.]] |
| 603 | ** The narrator not-quite-happy description of the rest of the cast, ending with: |
| 604 | --->'''Narrator:''' [...] And Daenerys Targaryen as Sarah Connor. Come on, Khaleesi, you're so much better than this!\ |
| 605 | '''Sarah Connor:''' I think I'm doing just fine! |
| 606 | ** The narrator concludes that the movie leaves "so many plot holes and unanswered questions" that he "won't even bother to list" the usual LongList of them, except for one: |
| 607 | --->'''Narrator:''' How much they have to pay Creator/JamesCameron to say this?\ |
| 608 | '''Creator/JamesCameron:''' I feel like the franchise has been reinvigorated, like this is a renaissance. You like the ''Terminator'' films, you'll like this movie.\ |
| 609 | '''Narrator:''' ''[{{beat}}, as the T-800 does its [[TheUnSmile un-smile]]]'' This is just... ''so'' depressing. |
| 610 | ** The "Starring" list: Hasta la vista, maybe; [[Series/GameOfThrones Mother of Connors]], [[WaxingLyrical Another John's]] [[Music/{{Queen}} Made of Dust]], [[Creator/JKSimmons LOL Simmons]], The Whole Entire Bus Goes Round and Round, and [[MemeticMutation Stop Trying to Make]] Creator/JaiCourtney [[TakeThat Happen,]] [[Film/MeanGirls It's Not Going to Happen]]. |
| 611 | ** In TheStinger: |
| 612 | --->'''Narrator:''' So [John Connor] is sending his dad back in time to have sex with his mom? ''[shows Lorraine kissing Marty in Film/BackToTheFuture1]'' Why is incest always the go-to plot in time travel movies? |
| 613 | [[/folder]] |
| 614 | |
| 615 | [[folder:''A New Hope'']] |
| 616 | * ''[[Film/ANewHope Star Wars]]'' (aka ''[[Literature/TheHeroWithAThousandFaces Joseph Campbell's]] Star Wars''): |
| 617 | ** "From [[Creator/GeorgeLucas the once-masterful director]] who just couldn't leave well enough alone, comes the special effects blockbuster that transformed the entire film industry... into an assembly line for special effects blockbusters and action figures." |
| 618 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''Star Wars''. The first one. We are ''not'' calling it ''A New Hope''. |
| 619 | ** The narrator saying that Princess Leia is "the most interesting of [[TheSmurfettePrinciple the two human female characters in the entire movie]]." |
| 620 | ** The narrator points out that the droids are "conscious beings with feelings and free will, who were bought and sold as slaves." But that's not the funny part, of course, but rather his reaction to it: |
| 621 | --->'''Narrator:''' [=#DroidsLivesMatter=] guys! |
| 622 | ** The narrator calls Luke Skywalker "a whiny space brat." Then he realizes something: |
| 623 | --->'''Narrator:''' Hmmm, kinda reminds me of someone... ''[cue montage of Luke Skywalker's {{angst}}y scenes interspersed with Anakin Skywalker's own angsty scenes]'' Wait, so Hayden Christensen's acting choices were... ''intentional?!'' WHOA! Mind. Blown! |
| 624 | ** The narrator is not exactly impressed with the Empire: |
| 625 | --->'''Narrator:''' ...the evil Empire, with [[ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy an army of clumsy idiots,]] ''[shows the often repeated scene of the Stormtrooper hitting his head on the door frame]'' led by the most threatening villain of all time, Darth Vader... until you hear his original voice. ''[shows Darth Vader speaking with the voice of his physical actor, Creator/DavidProwse]'' Ha, not so epic now, are you bro? |
| 626 | ** The narrator doesn't let the "Special Editions" pass: |
| 627 | --->'''Narrator:''' Return to a time when technology forced George Lucas to collaborate with other people, as he teams up with masters of sound design, score, editing and practical visual effects to deliver a near perfect movie, that he's made progressively worse with each special edition, because if there's one thing the original ''Star Wars'' wasn't missing, ''[getting progressively angrier]'' is poorly-rended, out-of-place CGI animals filling up every square inch of the frame! Dude! Come on! Get out of the way! Argh, I can't even see the movie. |
| 628 | ** The narrator also points out scenes that "nostalgic googles" keep one from realizing "were kind of dumb," like the lightsaber battle between Obi-Wan and Darth Vader being "two old geezers gently poking each other," and the destruction of the Death Star being "the most over-the-top {{Freud|WasRight}}ian finale of all time." Cue a hefty montage of all the lines of dialogue during that scene that could count as AccidentalInnuendo: |
| 629 | --->"Luke is the best bush pilot in the Outer Rim Territories."\ |
| 630 | "Look at the size of that thing!"\ |
| 631 | "They came from behind."\ |
| 632 | "...should be able to penetrate the outer defense."\ |
| 633 | "Almost there... Almost there...!"\ |
| 634 | "Didn't go in."\ |
| 635 | "You're all clear, kid! Now let's blow this thing and go home!"\ |
| 636 | "Luke, at that speed, will y'be able to pull out in time?"\ |
| 637 | '''[[Series/TheOfficeUS Michael Scott]]:''' ThatsWhatSheSaid! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! |
| 638 | ** The narrator wants to make one thing clear: |
| 639 | --->'''Narrator:''' So whether you're an old man who can't move on from a 38-year old movie for children, or a contrarian kid who thinks he's being edgy when he says the prequels were better, one thing is for sure: [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Han. Shot. First.]] |
| 640 | ** In TheStinger: |
| 641 | --->'''Narrator:''' As bad as we all want a real lightsaber, let's be realistic: We could've cut off our own hand in a week. |
| 642 | [[/folder]] |
| 643 | |
| 644 | [[folder:''Fantastic Four'' (2015)]] |
| 645 | * ''Film/FantasticFour2015'' (aka ''[[Letters2Numbers Fant-Four-Stic]]'', or ''Fantastic Four: Strike Three''): |
| 646 | ** At the very beginning, the reference to a certain tweet: |
| 647 | --->'''Narrator:''' From the director of ''Film/{{Chronicle}}'', and [[WhatCouldHaveBeen/FantasticFour2015 a fantastic version of this movie that you'll probably never see]]...\ |
| 648 | ''[shows a screencap from a tweet made by the film's director Josh Trank (since deleted) that read:]''\ |
| 649 | '''Josh Trank:''' [[http://i.imgur.com/TfYUJac.jpg A year ago I had a fantastic version of this. And it would've received great reviews. You'll probably never see it. That's reality though.]] |
| 650 | ** "It's been ten years since the last good ''Fantastic Four'' movie." Footage playing over this part is of ''WesternAnimation/TheIncredibles1''. |
| 651 | ** The description of the cast: |
| 652 | --->'''Narrator:''' There's Reed, the genius who can bend his body to new and exciting ethnicities; Ben, a big-hearted rock monster whose superpower is [[BarbieDollAnatomy not having genitals?]]; this underused actress in a terrible wig, who's left behind to make the guys' uniforms; and Johnny, a street-racing brat cliché with the power to ignite... internet comment sections for being a black guy. |
| 653 | ** The narrator not being impressed with the inner workings of the Baxter Institute... |
| 654 | --->'''Narrator:''' Journey to the Baxter Institute, where kids create billion-dollar inventions, powerful enough to destroy the world, in exchange for pats on the back.\ |
| 655 | '''Harvey Allen:''' You all deserve an enormous pat on the back. |
| 656 | ** ...or ComicBook/DoctorDoom, for that matter. |
| 657 | --->'''Narrator:''' Tremble in anticipation for the return of one of Marvel's greatest supervillains, Doctor Doom. Then shake your head in disappointment when you're stuck with this super-powered sex doll instead, complete with vague abilities, [[GenericDoomsdayVillain vague motivations]], and vague... ''Film/{{Ghostbusters|1984}}'' references?\ |
| 658 | ''[cut to a clip of ''Ghostbusters'' showing Dana possessed by Zuul]''\ |
| 659 | '''Zuul!Dana:''' There is no Dana, only Zuul.\ |
| 660 | ''[cut to Doom saying, in almost the exact same tone:]''\ |
| 661 | '''Doctor Doom:''' There is no Victor, only Doom. |
| 662 | ** When the narrator says that the protagonists were "totally phoning it in," [[VisualPun a cellphone is shown.]] |
| 663 | ** The "Starring" list: [[Film/{{Whiplash}} Were You Stretching Or Were You Dragging?]], A Wasted ''Series/{{House of Cards|US}}'' Actor (Creator/KateMara), A Chocolate Snowman, [[Creator/MichaelBJordan Michael B.]] [[StillbornFranchise Glad You Don't Have to Do Any More of These]],[[note]]On the very same day the trailer was released, [[http://www.superherohype.com/news/359435-fantastic-four-sequel-pulled-from-fox-schedule the date for a planned sequel was removed from 20th Century Fox's release schedule.]][[/note]] Another Wasted ''House of Cards'' Actor (Reg E. Cathey), and Crash Test Doomy. |
| 664 | ** In TheStinger, the narrator realizes that the movie missed something: |
| 665 | --->'''Narrator:''' Man, you know it's bad when Creator/StanLee won't even make a [[TheCameo cameo]]. |
| 666 | [[/folder]] |
| 667 | |
| 668 | [[folder:''Minions'']] |
| 669 | * ''WesternAnimation/{{Minions}}'' (aka ''Franchise/{{Despicable|Me}} [[MerchandiseDriven Greed]]''): |
| 670 | ** The narrator lets it clear from the very beginning about what's the real reason behind the movie: |
| 671 | --->'''Narrator:''' From [[Creator/{{Universal}} Universal Pictures]]... marketing department, comes one of the most expensive, far-reaching promotional campaigns of all time. And also a movie! |
| 672 | ** The narrator comparing the movie with ''Series/{{Joey}}'', ''WesternAnimation/TheClevelandShow'', and ''[[Film/StarWarsEwokAdventures The Battle for Endor]]'' in that it's "a SpinOff that takes a character who's fun in small doses, and makes you wish that they stayed in the background." |
| 673 | ** The narrator saying that, for an OriginsEpisode about the Minions, it doesn't tell a lot about their origins: |
| 674 | --->'''Narrator:''' Get ready for a Minion origin story... that doesn't even tell you what a Minion is, or where their language comes from, ''[shows the Minions saying [[GratuitousSpanish "Que pasa?"]], [[GratuitousJapanese "Sayonara!"]], and [[YiddishAsASecondLanguage "Mazel Tov!"]]]'' or whether they're immortal, or whether they have genders, ''[shows the Minions doing a TotemPoleTrench in drag]'' or why some have just one eye, or why always they wear goggles, or how do they reproduce. ''[shows a Minion getting romantic with two yellow fire hydrants]'' But who cares? You're either a six-year-old or a parent wishing to check your phone in the movie theater. |
| 675 | ** The narrator saying that the movie is so full of "lazy gags" that it makes ''WesternAnimation/{{Cars 2}}'' [[TakeThat look like the beginning of]] ''WesternAnimation/{{Up}}''. |
| 676 | ** The narrator warning the audience about the movie's bad morals... |
| 677 | --->'''Narrator:''' Try to undo the harmful messages the movie would drill into your kid's impressionable head, like: Be a mindless follower, don't question authority, and shooting at the cops is okay as long as you're little and cute. |
| 678 | ** ...then, weighing in that last point, realizes that it also has FamilyUnfriendlyViolence. ("You know, for kid's characters they do really kill a lot of people.") Cue the FailureMontage showing the Minions trying to serve their various masters and failing miserably on every occasion with a death count; it first shoots up from 5 to 105 after the Egyptians are crushed when a pyramid falls over, and then to [[ReadingsAreOffTheScale "???"]] after a giant Kevin pushes a Scarlet Overkill wearing a skirt-transformed-into-a-giant-rocket onto several buildings. |
| 679 | ** The "Starring" list ending with "those horrible Website/{{Facebook}} memes your aunt keeps posting that don't even have anything to do with Minions at all." |
| 680 | ** In TheStinger, the narrator points out that if the Minions hadn't been driven to live in the ice cave after accidentally killing UsefulNotes/NapoleonBonaparte, [[FridgeHorror they might've served as]] UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler's henchmen. Complete with a photoshopped image of the Minions taking a selfie with the Führer. |
| 681 | [[/folder]] |
| 682 | |
| 683 | [[folder:''Ant-Man'']] |
| 684 | * ''Film/AntMan1'' (aka ''Tiny Film/IronMan1''): |
| 685 | ** The ''Honest Trailers'' title card being "ant-sized" like the [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQjhJf1R4k4 first teaser trailer]] for the film. |
| 686 | ** The narrator says the movie is "based on a superhero so ridiculous, you'll swear that Franchise/{{Marvel|CinematicUniverse}}'s choosing their projects on a dare." |
| 687 | --->'''Narrator:''' Now get ready for a hero so silly, no one can even keep a straight face when they say his dumb name; ''[shows ComicBook/TheFalcon and Darren Cross not being able to keep a straight face when saying "Ant-Man", and Scott Lang aking if they can change the name]'' in a superpowered heist film that against all odds... [[CrazyEnoughToWork actually, kind of works!]] I mean, it's [[TakeThat still more believable that somebody joining]] ComicBook/TheAvengers just because [[ComicBook/{{Hawkeye}} they're good with a bow and an arrow]], right? |
| 688 | ** When the narrator does his usual "Meet [X]" routine with Scott Lang, the trailer shows instead a scene from ''Film/BehindTheCandelabra'', another film in which a character played by Creator/MichaelDouglas has a relationship with a character named Scott, just a ''very different'' one. |
| 689 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[shows Creator/MattDamon as Scott Thorson]'' Wait, ''no'', not that one. ''[shows Scott Lang]'' ''Yeah'', that's the guy. |
| 690 | ** As the alternative title he gave for the film implies, the narrator believes that Hank Pym and the overall plot of the film look familiar: |
| 691 | --->'''Narrator:''' Hank Pym [is a] billionaire industrialist who lost control of his company to a bald former ally, who betrays him, and plots to use his advanced suit technology for evil. And if that sounds familiar, it's because it's the exact same premise as the first ''Film/IronMan1'' movie.\ |
| 692 | '''Scott Lang:''' If it ain't broke...\ |
| 693 | '''Narrator:''' I mean, seriously, it even has that "friend staring at the suit they wear in the sequel" moment.\ |
| 694 | '''James Rhodes[=/=]ComicBook/WarMachine:''' Next time, baby.\ |
| 695 | '''Hope van Dyne/The Wasp:''' It's about damn time. |
| 696 | ** The "few unique twists" that made the film "separate itself from the other 11 MCU films": |
| 697 | --->'''Narrator:''' Making another [[Creator/ChrisPratt schlubby]] [[Creator/PaulRudd comedian]] get abs for a superhero role, actually getting you to care about disgusting insect monsters ('''[[BigNo NOOO!!!]]''' Not Antony! Aw man! I liked that one because he had a name.), and saying the one thing everyone's been yelling at the screen since Phase 2 started:\ |
| 698 | '''Scott Lang:''' I think our first move, should be calling the Avengers. |
| 699 | ** The narrator says that film made Marvel "prove once again that they can literally sell you anything, and they don't even have to try that hard to sell it." Cue the UsefulNotes/{{Dada}}-esque "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyGwMqMCta4 ANTS]]" TV spot. |
| 700 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''... Huh?'' |
| 701 | ** The "Starring" list: [[Film/ILoveYouMan I Love You, Mant]] (Scott), Tony Stark, Sr. (Hank), Wasp Machine (Hope), [[TokenMinority The Only Latino in the MCU]] (Luis), T.I. AsHimself,[[note]]Refering to T.I.'s criminal record in real life.[[/note]] WesternAnimation/{{Antz}} (ants), [[PoorMansSubstitute The Biggest]] [[ComicBook/TheAvengers Avenger]] [[PoorMansSubstitute They Could Get]] (Falcon), [[WesternAnimation/ThomasAndTheMagicRailroad Thomas and the Mant-gic Railroad]] (the giant toy Thomas), and [[SuperheroMovieVillainsDie Disposable Marvel Villain #9]] (Yellowjacket). |
| 702 | ** In TheStinger: |
| 703 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[while showing the Quantum Realm]'' Man, after this one, I cannot imagine these movies getting any strang-- ''[the Film/DoctorStrange2016 logo appears]'' Oh yeah, forgot about that. |
| 704 | [[/folder]] |
| 705 | |
| 706 | [[folder:''Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith'']] |
| 707 | * ''Star Wars Episode III: Film/RevengeOfTheSith'' (aka ''Star Wars Episode III[[note]]pronounced as One Hundred and Eleven[[/note]]: [[Film/TheForceAwakens The Force Aweakens]]'' |
| 708 | ** The ''Film/RevengeOfTheSith'' trailer opens by referring to George Lucas as "Disney's bitter ex-boyfriend". |
| 709 | ** The narrator calls it the best ''Star Wars'' prequel by default because "something occasionally happens, even if that something is a lizard chasing a robot on a unicycle." |
| 710 | ** Starring: "The Following Proof That More Does Not Equal Better..." 1-Ham Handed Cameo (Chewbacca), 2 Disposal CGI Armies (Confederate and Clone armies), 2 Cyborgs with Breathing Problems (General Grevious and Darth Vader), 4 Lightsabers at the Same Time (General Grevious with 4 lightsabers), 4 Unnecessary GCI flippy jumps (), 8 Severed Limbs (), About 17 Things [=R2D2=] couldn't do in the original () and Thousands of Highly-trained Jedi Knights going down like toward punks. Seriously, you can get through droids and clones like tissue paper and that's how you go out? That's, that's pathetic, man.... () |
| 711 | [[/folder]] |
| 712 | |
| 713 | [[folder:''Die Hard'']] |
| 714 | * ''Film/DieHard'' (aka ''{{Die Hard|OnAnX}} [[ShapedLikeItself in a Building]]''): |
| 715 | ** The film is filled with the 80s stuff you love, like: indoor smoking, carry-on guns, Japanese businessmen, cocaine, pregnant drinking, making fun of touchscreens, super-cool limousines, and ''more'' cocaine. |
| 716 | --->'''Narrator:''' ''[snort]'' WHOOOO! Best decade EVER! |
| 717 | ** The nearly endless list of DieHardOnAnX films that the movie spawned, including: [[Film/{{Speed}} Die Hard on a bus]], [[Film/{{Daylight}} Die Hard in a tunnel]], [[Film/{{Cliffhanger}} Die Hard on a mountain]], [[Film/OlympusHasFallen Die Hard in the White House]], [[Film/WhiteHouseDown Die Hard in the White House 2]], [[Film/PaulBlartMallCop Die Hard in a mall]], [[Film/Speed2CruiseControl Die Hard on a boat]], [[Film/UnderSiege Die Hard on this other boat]], [[Film/SuddenDeath Die Hard in a rink]], [[Film/UnderSiege2DarkTerritory Die Hard on a train]], [[Film/Passenger57 Die Hard in a plane]], [[Film/ExecutiveDecision Die Hard in another plane]], [[Film/AirForceOne Die Hard in the President's plane]], [[Film/SnakesOnAPlane Die Hard in a plane with snakes]], and [[Film/AGoodDayToDieHard Die Hard]] [[TakeThat but awful]]. |
| 718 | ** The "read the comments section" portion of the video has the narrator read all the various takes on [=McClane=]'s infamous catchphrase... Until he gets to read the original one where [[CurseCutShort the video immediately ends.]] |
| 719 | ** The very first "Starring" credit? [[CreatorsApathy "Bruce Willis When He Still Cared"]] |
| 720 | ** TheStinger pays special attention to the moment Hans Gruber [[HiddenInPlainSight pretends to be an American hostage]] with the narrator saying "[[WhatTheHellIsThatAccent It's nice to know this is what Eurpoeans think we sound like.]]" |
| 721 | [[/folder]] |
| 722 | |
| 723 | !!Honest Game Trailers |
| 724 | [[folder:''Kingdom Hearts'']] |
| 725 | * ''Franchise/KingdomHearts'' (aka ''VideoGame/DisneyInfinity'') |
| 726 | ** The narrator trying to explain the KudzuPlot of the series, before just giving up. Made even funnier by the repeated mispronunciation of "Xehanort." |
| 727 | ---> '''Narrator:''' Journey Across the Disney Universe to track down Kingdom Hearts, and defeat the Evil Ansem who is not the real Ansem, but Xehanort's Heartless, who is also named Ansem. The real Ansem is named [=DiZ=], but his Apprentice, Xehenort, stole his identity after Master Xehenort forced his Heart into the body of Terra. Who's Terra, you ask? Terra, along with Aqua and Ven, were originally tasked by Master Eraqus to defeat Master Xehenort. The real Ansem was actually a good guy. Once you beat Ansem, who was Xehanort's Heartless, you have to fight Xemnas: Xehenort's Nobody. A Nobody is a being created when someone turns into a Heartless, they don't have feelings, except when they actually do. They want Hearts, so Xehanort, who is actually Terra-Xehanort, went back in time to find several copies of Xehanort. ({{Beat}}) Also, Donald Duck is in it! ''[Ta-da!]'' |
| 728 | ** "Your journey begins with Sora, a ten year old boy with enough zippers and belts to start his own bondage convention. Follow along on his quest to master the Keyblade, a weapon that looks stupid and impractical, even by Final Fantasy Standards." |
| 729 | *** "With only six living masters in the world, Sora's got some big shoes to fill, in addition to his actual gigantic shoes." |
| 730 | ** Mocking the way the series keeps having the protagonists introduce themselves as "Sora, Donald, and Goofy," before immediately calling them [[Webcomic/{{Dolan}} Dolan and Gooby]]. |
| 731 | ** Starring: Generic Anime Guys, [[Music/{{Vocaloid}} Ratsune Hiku]], [[SdrawkcabName Disney Spelled Backwards]] ([[WesternAnimation/{{Fantasia}} Yen Sid]]), American [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Pikachu]] (King Mickey), [[Franchise/DragonBall SSJ Trunks]] (Blond-Haired Sora), [[Film/BoyzNTheHood Boys In Da Hood]] (Black Coats), MC Hammer Pants (WesternAnimation/{{Aladdin}}), Aflac (Donald), Disney's ComicBook/{{Wolverine}} ([[WesternAnimation/BeautyAndTheBeast Beast]]), Evil Music/{{Adele}} (Ursula), [[VideoGame/{{Portal}} GLaDOS]] ([[Film/{{Tron}} Master Control Program]]), a dog (Pluto) and... [[FurryConfusion also a dog?]] (Goofy) |
| 732 | ** TheStinger, after the Narrator thinks that Sephiroth's voice in the first game sounds familliar |
| 733 | ---> '''Narrator:''' Huh... Where have I heard that voice before... ''(plays clip of Lance Bass giving an interview)'' No way! |
| 734 | [[/folder]] |
| 735 | [[folder:''The Sims'']] |
| 736 | * TheStinger: |
| 737 | -->'''Narrator:''' Aw, you need to pee, huh? Well, let's see how well you pee when I ''sell the toilet''! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! That's for not dating me! [=AHAHAHAhahahahaha=]...I'm so alone. |
| 738 | [[/folder]] |
| 739 | [[folder:''Resident Evil'']] |
| 740 | * The use of the corridor scene at the end: |
| 741 | -->'''Narrator:''' ''[singing]'' How much is that doggie in the win-- ''[Cerberus jumps through the window]'' --AAAAAUGHH! |
| 742 | [[/folder]] |
| 743 | [[folder:''Five Nights at Freddy's 2'']] |
| 744 | * The narrator introduces the game as "[[VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys2 Five Nights at Freddy's... again]]"! |
| 745 | * The narrator being completely immune to the JumpScare RunningGag. And then falls for it when he's done saying his usual "what do you want to hear me say in my awesome voice" when Mangle comes flying down from the top of the screen. |
| 746 | -->'''Narrator''': AHH! Okay, okay...that was a good one, guys. |
| 747 | * The narrator lampshades the absurdity of 1987 animatronics having facial recognition features, the terrible work conditions of the restaurant and the fact that after surviving, [[KickTheDog you still get fired at the end of the week]]. He then tries to surf on the Obama hatred from the time only to realize it is irrelevant, considering he was still too young to be president when the plot happens. |
| 748 | --> "Thanks, Obama. Oh, er... Thanks, Reagan." |
| 749 | * The [[ShoutOut Shout-Outs]] and clever puns continue with the "starring" cast, aside from [[VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys "the same f*ckers from last time"]]: [[UsefulNotes/McDonalds Their Happy Meal Equivalents]], [[VideoGame/EarthBound1994 Ness on Cocaine]], [[Anime/SpiritedAway No Face]], [[{{Pun}} Bear in Mind]], and [[Franchise/StarFox [=ScarFox=]]], complete with the Corneria theme. |
| 750 | * The game is finally called "Five Nights 2 Spooky". |
| 751 | * "I've got an idea for the sequel, [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor wait until they actually want one]]!" [''VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys3'' trailer screen shows up] [[PrecisionFStrike Aw, f***]]! |
| 752 | [[/folder]] |
| 753 | %%[[folder:''Hearthstone'']] |
| 754 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 755 | %%[[folder:''Evolve'']] |
| 756 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 757 | %%[[folder:''Gears of War'']] |
| 758 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 759 | %%[[folder:''Batman: Arkham Asylum'']] |
| 760 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 761 | [[folder:''Clash of Clans'']] |
| 762 | * The narrator spending the "Starring" part getting angry, having enough of giving the game any free press, so he recommends other mobile games that are $5 and under that aren't ruining anything, or... |
| 763 | -->'''Narrator:''' Taking Five Bucks Out of Your Pocket, Putting It on the Ground, and Setting It on Fire! |
| 764 | [[/folder]] |
| 765 | %%[[folder:''The Order 1886'']] |
| 766 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 767 | [[folder:''Five Nights at Freddy's 3'']] |
| 768 | * The narrator passes the whole episode being jaded and pissed off. It even starts on the comments screen. |
| 769 | --> "Okay, but [[TemptingFate this is the last time]]!" |
| 770 | * The narrator presenting the game this way: |
| 771 | --> "Take everything you know about Five Nights at Freddy's and... don't forget any of it, because this is pretty much the same as the last two: with fewer enemies, fewer rooms and... uh... (in a cynical and dramatic way) [[FauxHorrific a 3 at the end]]!" |
| 772 | * He then presents the plot of the game as greedy idiots who "gathered the same old junk in a new location" to make money of "dumb kids who still care about the lore", then takes a moment to appreciate [[TakeThat how meta the plot actually is]]. |
| 773 | * The narrator considers debating about the quality of the game on Website/YouTube comment section as more interesting than the game itself, making it the gaming equivalent of the striped dress photo... |
| 774 | --> "... that is '''clearly black and blue''' '''''[[RageBreakingPoint AND THIS GAME CLEARLY SUCKS!]]''''' '''''OKAY?!'''''" |
| 775 | * The way he describes the core gameplay of the game: |
| 776 | --> "There's only one spooky fursuit left, and the only way to contain him is to wait for your computer to reboot so [[MundaneMadeAwesome you can keep making giggle noises]]. ''(Balloon Boy's laugh plays)'' "...No, I can't believe this is popular either." |
| 777 | * He then describes the many ways to discover parts of the lore by clicking on walls and camera screens or exploiting glitches of minigames as "a brilliant attempt to conceal how vague and undeveloped the story really is." |
| 778 | --> "Sorry, WebVideo/GameTheory." |
| 779 | * After another TakeThat to WebVideo/{{Markiplier}} (calling him "the franchise's own Jesus"), the narrator gives an enumeration to the countless {{Plot Hole}}s the game has and [[MotorMouth talks faster and faster]] before breaking down. |
| 780 | * He forgoes the usual "Starring" gag to list gibberish names of [=YouTube=] Let's Play channels that made a living off fake overreactions to the game's jump scares. |
| 781 | -->'''Narrator:''' "Starring: LetsPlay/PewDiePie, Squeezie, Smike, WebVideo/{{Markiplier}}, Yamimash, and [[BitingTheHandHumor Smosh Games]]. [[SelfDeprecation Yeah that's right, you know we do it too!]]" |
| 782 | * The narrator calling it "''[[VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys3 Five Nights]] [[{{Sequelitis}} Too Many]]''". |
| 783 | [[/folder]] |
| 784 | [[folder: ''Mario Party 10'']] |
| 785 | * Epic Voice Guy is so sure that ''VideoGame/MarioParty 10'' must have an online mode that he starts shilling it, until he's informed that there isn't one, prompting him to confirm that it's not an unlockable and then chew out Nintendo. |
| 786 | [[/folder]] |
| 787 | %%[[folder:''Half-Life 3'']] |
| 788 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 789 | %%[[folder:''[=BioShock=]'']] |
| 790 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 791 | %%[[folder:''Bloodborne'']] |
| 792 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 793 | %%[[folder:''Pokémon Ruby and Sapphire'']] |
| 794 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 795 | %%[[folder:''Lego Marvel Super Heroes'']] |
| 796 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 797 | [[folder:''Mortal Kombat X'']] |
| 798 | * In their trailer for ''VideoGame/MortalKombatX'', the narrator complains that the lag is so bad you might as well be drawing it by hand. This is then demonstrated with him drawing the match with marker, with a high-pitched "Hya!" in the background. |
| 799 | * Starring: {{Nepotism}} (Cassie Cage), [[Film/TheWickerMan2006 Not The Bees!]] (D'Vorah), Ermac-errrd (Ermac), Music/KidRock (Erron Black), [[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Machamp]] (Goro), Jax-y (Jacqui Briggs), [[Film/LethalWeapon Getting Too Old For This Sh*t]] (Jax), [[Creator/JeanClaudeVanDamme John Cage Van Damme]] (Johnny Cage), Lasik (Kano), Pin The Sword On The Donkey (Kenshi), [[CombatHandFan Fan Club]] (Kitana), Apocalypto (Kotal Kahn), Gay Hawkeye [or just regular Hawkeye] (Kung Jin), [[WeaponizedHeadgear Hat Trick]] (Kung Lao), [[MoreTeethThanTheOsmondFamily My Teeth]] [[MyEyesAreUpHere Are Up Here]] (Mileena), Megamind (Quan Chi), P.K. Thunder (Raiden), Chris Bosh (Reptile), Get Over It (Scorpion), Cammy (Sonya Blade), ALS Ice Bucket Challenge (Sub-Zero), Whip It Good (Takeda) ...and... [[Series/JerseyShore Shinooki]] (Shinnok). |
| 800 | * "[[TheStinger Did you know that if you beat the game as Sub Zero,]] he becomes [[Series/GameOfThrones Khaleesi?]]" {{Beat}} "Oops, spoiler alert." |
| 801 | [[/folder]] |
| 802 | %%[[folder:''Twisted Metal'']] |
| 803 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 804 | [[folder:''Counter-Strike'']] |
| 805 | * ''VideoGame/CounterStrike'' (aka ''U.S. Foreign Policy Simulator'') |
| 806 | ** Starring: Silenced [=M-16s=] (Counter-Terrorists), ISIS (Terrorists); and [[ClusterBleepBomb @#$%!*#)@*! Foul-licking @#$%!*#)@*! Mother@#$%!*#)@*! Face]]! |
| 807 | [[/folder]] |
| 808 | %%[[folder:''Grand Theft Auto Online'']] |
| 809 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 810 | %%[[folder:''Heroes of the Storm'']] |
| 811 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 812 | [[folder:''Splatoon'']] |
| 813 | * Epic Voice Guy considers the game to be inspired by [[TheNineties 90s]] Creator/{{Nickelodeon}} logo and "[[VideoGame/SuperMarioSunshine that's gonna be a real bitch for Mario to clean up after]]". |
| 814 | * "Enter the world of ''VideoGame/JetSetRadio'' - uh, [[SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitute I mean Inkopolis]] [...] where teams clash up in a deadly fight [[MundaneMadeAwesome over what color to paint the floor]]. |
| 815 | * "...Or bring out the paint roller if you really want to see them hatin'!" |
| 816 | -->♫ They see me rollin', they hatin' ♫ |
| 817 | * The narrator complains about features missing at launch, then ends on this one: |
| 818 | --> "Or a way to stop playing this stupid casual game! My God, why is it so addictive?!" |
| 819 | * He then describes the single player as one of the best parts about an online-shooter, while the local multiplayer is "as fun as watching an old man take a bath". He passse the footage in question and is [[{{Squick}} grossed out]]. |
| 820 | * Right after, he describes the game as "a great overall experience with some issues that just won't stop nagging at you, because Creator/Nintendo either thinks we're not readu to play a full game at once, or they're f***ing incompetent". He then defends them by claiming that at least, it didn't cost half a billion dollars like ''VideoGame/{{Destiny}}''. |
| 821 | * Starring: [[AllAnimeIsNaughtyTentacles Hentai Incoming]] (Inkling girl player character), [[Manga/DragonBall Master Roshi]] (Cap'n Cuttlefish), Heavy Breathing (Judd), a [[Franchise/DespicableMe Minion]] with a hat (Sheldon), ''WesternAnimation/FindingNemo'' (Annie & Moe), Nipple Sneakers (Crusty Sean), [[VideoGame/SuperMetroid Super Wetroid]] (Jelonzo), StreetUrchin (Spyke), and [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Jizz. Everywhere]] (trailer footage of Inklings firing ink everywhere)! |
| 822 | * The game is finally presented as [[VideoGame/{{Splatoon}} Spalooch]]. |
| 823 | * TheStinger is funny because of its simplicity: it's just a protip for newbies: |
| 824 | --> Please make sure your own base gets painted, and painting walls doesn't count as territory; there, you're now better than 90% of the kids who play this game! |
| 825 | [[/folder]] |
| 826 | %%[[folder:''Fallout 3'']] |
| 827 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 828 | %%[[folder:''The Witcher 3'']] |
| 829 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 830 | [[folder:''Watch Dogs'']] |
| 831 | * ''VideoGame/WatchDogs'' (aka Watch_Doges Much Hacking Such Future Wow) |
| 832 | * The comments at the beginning ask them to review ''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamKnight'' but it won't [[PortingDisaster work on PC]] until one lone comment for Watch Dogs pops up making the narrator say "Close enough." |
| 833 | * Starring... [[Literature/TheMillenniumTrilogy The Girl with the Sh#!tty Tattoo]] (Clara Lille), Website/FourChan ([=DedSec=]), Music/RobZombie (T-Bone Grady), [[Series/DangerMan Secret Agent Man]] (Jordi Chin), and CreepyUncle Aiden (Aiden Pearce) |
| 834 | [[/folder]] |
| 835 | [[folder:''Batman: Arkham Knight'']] |
| 836 | * ''VideoGame/BatmanArkhamKnight'' (aka ''Arkham: VideoGame/WorldOfTanks''): |
| 837 | ** The narrator being startled by the JumpScare of Man-Bat, then shortly by the Hallucincation of the Joker repeating it, with the narrator meekly saying after the latter, "I don't wanna be Batman." |
| 838 | ** Mocking the overkill nature of the Batmobile: |
| 839 | --->'''Narrator: ''' ''[exploding an enormous tank with the main cannon of the Batmobile]'' "Whee! I'm a detective!" |
| 840 | ** Mocking the CaptainObviousReveal of the titular Arkham Knight being Jason Todd: |
| 841 | --->'''Narrator:''' A young sounding man in a red suit, who clearly has a long past with Bruce Wayne, and [[CaptainObviousReveal if you can't guess who that is before the game tells you, welcome to your first Batman story!]] |
| 842 | ** Starring: [[CrimefightingWithCash 1% Man]] (Batman), [[Music/KylieMinogue ♫ Can't Get You Out Of My Head ♫]] (Joker), R.I.P. Gordon's Mustache (Commissioner Gordon), Red Robin, Yummm! (Robin), [[SoundEffectBleep *BEEEEEEEEEEEP*]] (Arkham Knight), Bat. Man. (Man-Bat), [[Franchise/AssassinsCreed Assazreal's Creed]] (Azrael), VideoGame/TwistedMetal (Batmobile), and Santa Claus (Batwing). |
| 843 | [[/folder]] |
| 844 | %%[[folder:''Street Fighter'']] |
| 845 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 846 | %%[[folder:''Guitar Hero'']] |
| 847 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 848 | [[folder:''Five Nights at Freddy's 4'']] |
| 849 | * The narrator's original refusal to review the game even with all the requests coming in, even resorting to whining about it. |
| 850 | -->''[the comments requesting "DO FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDYS 4!" pop up]''\ |
| 851 | '''Narrator:''' No!\ |
| 852 | ''[even more comments pop up]''\ |
| 853 | '''Narrator:''' I don't wanna!\ |
| 854 | ''[even MORE comments pop up]''\ |
| 855 | '''Narrator:''' Ugh, fine! |
| 856 | * He then describes Creator/ScottCawthon as "responsible for more FanService than the makers of anime body pillows" |
| 857 | * The narrator's complete disbelief at the fact the game is getting DLC... and may not be the final game... and even a movie! |
| 858 | * The YTPMV montage of streamers overreacting to the {{Jump Scare}}s. |
| 859 | * "Starring [[DarkerAndEdgier Edgy]] [[Series/SesameStreet Big Bird]], [[EvilCounterpart Thugs]] [[WesternAnimation/BugsBunny Bunny]], [[WesternAnimation/JosieAndThePussycats Freddy and the Jumpscares]], [[Anime/DragonBallZ Super Saiyan Freddy]], [[EvilKnockoff Bargain-Bin]] VideoGame/SlyCooper and [[TakeThat your growing feeling of buyer's remorse]]." |
| 860 | * The narrator calling it ''[[VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys4 Eight Nights in Purgatory]]: [[PrecisionFStrike F*ck You]]''. |
| 861 | * "Four games in one year? Your move, ''VideoGame/CallOfDuty''." |
| 862 | [[/folder]] |
| 863 | %%[[folder:''Banjo-Kazooie'']] |
| 864 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 865 | %%[[folder:''DOTA 2'']] |
| 866 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 867 | %%[[folder:''Disney Infinity'']] |
| 868 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 869 | %%[[folder:''Metal Gear Solid'']] |
| 870 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 871 | %%[[folder:''Rocket League'']] |
| 872 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 873 | %%[[folder:''Mad Max'']] |
| 874 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 875 | %%[[folder:''Until Dawn'']] |
| 876 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 877 | %%[[folder:''Tony Hawk's Pro Skater'']] |
| 878 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 879 | %%[[folder:''Pokémon Diamond and Pearl'']] |
| 880 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 881 | %%[[folder:''Uncharted'']] |
| 882 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 883 | [[folder:''Assasin's Creed Unity'']] |
| 884 | * ''VideoGame/AssassinsCreedUnity'' (aka Assassin's Creed: We'll Fix It Later) |
| 885 | ** Starring... [[VideoGame/AssassinsCreedII Ezio]] [[VideoGame/AssassinsCreedI Altair]] (Arno Dorian), The girl from ''WesternAnimation/{{Brave}}'' (Élise de la Serre), Young Creator/GeoffreyRush (Marquis de Sade), Film/NapoleonDynamite (Napoleon Bonaparte), Captain Pisspot (Pierre Bellec), and A Whole Bunch of Fat Old French Guys. |
| 886 | [[/folder]] |
| 887 | %%[[folder:''Halo'']] |
| 888 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 889 | %%[[folder:''Tomb Raider'']] |
| 890 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 891 | %%[[folder:''Borderlands'']] |
| 892 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 893 | %%[[folder:''Just Cause 2'']] |
| 894 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 895 | %%[[folder:''Fallout 4'']] |
| 896 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 897 | %%[[folder:''Call of Duty: Black Ops'']] |
| 898 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 899 | %%[[folder:''Star Wars Battlefront'']] |
| 900 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 901 | %%[[folder:''[=GoldenEye=]'']] |
| 902 | %%[[/folder]] |
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