| 1 | [[Funny/HonestTrailers Main]] | '''2012–13''' | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2014Episodes 2014]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2015Episodes 2015]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2016Episodes 2016]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2017Episodes 2017]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2018Episodes 2018]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2019Episodes 2019]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2020Episodes 2020]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2021Episodes 2021]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2022Episodes 2022]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2023Episodes 2023]] | [[Funny/HonestTrailers2024Episodes 2024]] |
| 2 | ---- |
| 3 | [[foldercontrol]] |
| 4 | !!2012 |
| 5 | [[folder:''The Phantom Menace'']] |
| 6 | * "From the billion-dollar jaws of Creator/GeorgeLucas, comes the chance to relive the biggest letdown in movie history '''''IN 3D!!!'''''" |
| 7 | * "All the parts you forgot about like the bureaucratic conversations, the racism, Creator/NataliePortman's [[TakeThat weird robot voice]], more racism and [[SpaceJews this kind of anti-semitic thing]] '''''IN 3D!!!'''''" |
| 8 | * "So strap in and get ready for [[{{Padding}} an hour and a half of people standing in semi-circles, council meetings, different council meetings and sitting]] [[JustHereForGodzilla just to get to that five minutes of cool stuff]] starring [[Creator/LiamNeeson Oscar Schindler]] as Jesus, fake Yoda and [[TheScrappy yousa remember himsa]]!" |
| 9 | * "This February, George Lucas defies your childhood for the second time in the third dimension" |
| 10 | [[/folder]] |
| 11 | |
| 12 | [[folder:''Twilight'']] |
| 13 | * The RunningGag with stares, ultimately leading up to a video composed entirely of all the stares from the movies. |
| 14 | --> '''Narrator:''' Together, they will have the romance of a lifetime... Expressed entirely in ''stares''. ''[cue stare montage]'' ...And even more ''stares''. ''[continue stare montage]'' |
| 15 | [[/folder]] |
| 16 | |
| 17 | [[folder:''Titanic'']] |
| 18 | * The introduction: "3D so real, you can actually feel Creator/JamesCameron stealing money from your wallet." |
| 19 | * "[[{{Padding}} A film so bloated, you can honestly just skip the first half-hour]]. [[EndingFatigue Don't worry, there's still like three hours left to go!]]" |
| 20 | * "Based on the tragedy that spawned thousands of heartbreaking true stories, comes [[InNameOnly this fake one]]". |
| 21 | * Jack and Rose are described as an "unrealistically sexy peasant" and a "first-class suicidal pair of [[{{Fanservice}} boobs]]". Rose's boobs are [[CensoredForComedy censored with James Cameron's face with money eyes]] as the narrator says "relive the excitement of PG-13 boobs now in James Cameron-approved 3D". |
| 22 | * "So brace yourself for a new generation of douchebags screaming 'I'm the king of the world!' and that stupid f*cking song that briefly tricked you into thinking Music/CelineDion is hot. [[EarWorm Good luck getting that out of your head!]]" |
| 23 | * "From the Academy Award winner for best editing comes three and a half hours of establishing shots, rich people eating and waving. More waving. And [[OverlyLongGag even more waving]]". |
| 24 | * "Witness the eternal love that ends because one piece of a drift wood can't hold two people. Seriously? That's a huge piece of wood, they could have both fit in it, or they could at least just make some turns into water. Is it just me, or did he not have to die?" |
| 25 | * Starring: Creator/LeonardoDaVinci, Boobs, the entire estate of ''Series/DowntonAbbey'' and Creator/BillPullman (or Paxton?). |
| 26 | * "Spoiler alert: [[ForegoneConclusion They still drown]]." |
| 27 | [[/folder]] |
| 28 | |
| 29 | [[folder:''Transformers'']] |
| 30 | * "From [[Creator/MichaelBay the horse-faced director]] who starts shooting before finishing scripts, based on a [[WesternAnimation/TheTransformers children's cartoon]] [[MerchandiseDriven designed to sell toys]] comes a [[LiveActionAdaptation movie]] designed to sell toys, toys that you can't tell apart - except for the black one [''This is a cool place to kick it'']. Together, they will unite with this stuttering teenager [''shows a montage of scenes where Sam Witwicky continually speaks "No!"'') to defeat the bad guy who doesn't appear until almost two hours into the movie". |
| 31 | * "But in the meantime, there's [[MaleGaze gratuitious]] [[{{Fanservice}} porny shots]] of Creator/MeganFox, weird racism [''Hey, mammy!''] and robot fights that erupt around random hot girls Michael Bay was trying to pork". |
| 32 | * "This summer, you will say, "What the hell is happening?", until they give the bad guy the thing what he wants [''Give me the cube!''] and then it kills him. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer Seriously]]. It's f[[PrecisionFStrike *]]cking stupid". |
| 33 | * The "Starring" section is just a list of ProductPlacement. |
| 34 | -->'''Narrator:''' Starring: Burger King, Panasonic, eBay, Cadillac, GMC, The Strokes, Pepto-Bismol, Platform/{{Xbox}}, Furbies?, Pontiac, Mountain Dew, Chevrolet, Chevrolet, [[RunningGag and introducing: Chevrolet]]. |
| 35 | * "''[[TitleDrop Battleship]]''! [[BaitAndSwitch Um, I mean]] ''[[TitleDrop Transformers]]''! Come on, they both look the same for me..." |
| 36 | * The narrator is worried at the end that "the ''[[Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles Ninja Turtles]]'' are f[[PrecisionFStrike *]]cked." |
| 37 | [[/folder]] |
| 38 | |
| 39 | [[folder:''Avatar'']] |
| 40 | * "In a world created by fat computer programmers, comes a film so epic it increased ticket prices three whole dollars". |
| 41 | * The narrator explaining in slight fast-forward how Jake Sully enrolled in the ''Avatar'' program and concluding: "It's kinda dumb". |
| 42 | * "Meet Neytiri, but more importantly, meet her side-[[FunetikAksent bloobs]]. Toghether they will learn: [[GreenAesop Military bad. Trees good]]". |
| 43 | * The narrator points out how [[UnfortunateImplications offensive]] in hindsight is that the Na'vi tribe (described as blue Indians fully in tune with the nature) is helpless without [[WhiteSavior the white man]]. |
| 44 | * "This December, prepare for three hours of eyeball twitching [''shows montage of eyeballs twitching''], as you're [[{{Anvilicious}} force-fed the most obvious message ever]] [''"They're just goddamn trees!"'']. It will leave you wondering: 'Do I see her nipple?’". |
| 45 | * Starring: Plots recycled from ''Film/DancesWithWolves'', ''WesternAnimation/{{Pocahontas}}'', ''Film/TheLastOfTheMohicans'', ''Film/AnInconvenientTruth'', Native American History and ''WesternAnimation/FernGully''. |
| 46 | * "''Papyrus''! [[BaitAndSwitch I mean]], ''[[TitleDrop Avatar]]''!" |
| 47 | * At the end, the narrator says that he just wants another ''Franchise/{{Terminator}}'' already. |
| 48 | [[/folder]] |
| 49 | |
| 50 | [[folder:''The Dark Knight'']] |
| 51 | * "A gritty continuation of Batman and his ongoing battle with throat cancer.] |
| 52 | * "The bat device that inexplicably turns every Gotham City cell phone into a portable sonar radar, which downloads an infinite amount of data that's instantly transmitted wirelessly to Batman's eyes. Hmph, how is that possible? It takes me five minutes to download ''VideoGame/AngryBirds''!" |
| 53 | * Pointing out Creator/ChristianBale's eye wart. "Try not noticing that from here on out." |
| 54 | * Creator/AaronEckhart as ComicBook/TwoFace is credited as "[[Series/BreakingBad Los Pollos Hermanos]]". |
| 55 | * "Ugh, who are we kidding? This movie is [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] awesome." |
| 56 | [[/folder]] |
| 57 | |
| 58 | [[folder:''The Hunger Games'']] |
| 59 | * The "Starring" list, rather than puns on the cast, just lists off things that didn't make it into the film, including the actual hunger. |
| 60 | ** The narrator's naming of Gale as "This much hotter guy" culminating in... |
| 61 | -->'''Narrator:''' I mean, [[EvenTheGuysWantHim I'm not gay. But]] I'd totally s[[CensoredForComedy **]]k Gale's d[[CensoredForComedy **]]k. |
| 62 | [[/folder]] |
| 63 | |
| 64 | [[folder:''The Avengers'']] |
| 65 | * "From Creator/JossWhedon, God of the nerds, comes the movie that finally unites the world's greatest heroes... that [[Creator/MarvelStudios Marvel]] still has the rights to." |
| 66 | * "The ultimate two-hour geek fantasy that blinds nerds from admitting any legitimate criticism and put all Creator/DCComics to suicide watch." |
| 67 | * "A villain, who inexplicably returns from the dead will now vow vengeance on the planet where his demigod brother's sort-of girlfriend lives forcing this bluetooth obsessed government agency to assemble the heroes from Marvel's greatest franchises, [[ScrewedbytheLawyers except]] ComicBook/SpiderMan, ComicBook/FantasticFour and ComicBook/XMen." |
| 68 | * "Suit up with Iron Man - everyone's favourite secondary Marvel character - who must redeem himself from that god awful ''Film/IronMan2'', Thor, who [[SoOkayItsAverage sort-of pulled]] [[{{Film/Thor}} his own movie]] but who's appearance here [[{{Retcon}} completely negates its ending]], Captain America - [[TheScrappy no one's favourite character]], who just has to be there, and The Incredible Hulk, who for the sake of the plot, can now suddenly control his rage without any explanation. Which doesn't matter 'cause that shot was awesome! [''shows the Hulk punching a Chitauri machinery'']." |
| 69 | * "Witness the excitement of Iron Man repairing a ship in twenty minutes, the thrill of generic aliens flying on jet skis, the confusing energy source of the Tesseract and its completely unjustified failsafe, the explosion that instantly kills every alien, conveniently tying up all loose ends, [[HoYay the bromance]] [''shows Tony and Bruce staring at each other''], and [[{{ComicBook/Thanos}} the character]] in [[TheStinger the middle of the credits]] every nerd in the audience pretended to know." |
| 70 | * "A movie so fullfilling, you won't remember that [[SlowPacedBeginning the first 45 minutes are actually kind of boring]]. A villain so determined you'll wonder why he's uniting the only people who can stop him in hopes of getting them to dislike each other ''[[MemeticMutation shows Tony saying]] "[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Not a great plan]]"'']" |
| 71 | * Starring: [[{{ComicBook/TheMightyThor}} Bhor]], [[{{ComicBook/Hawkeye}} Pink Eye]], Iron Man Pooping, [[TheOtherDarrin Not]] Creator/EdwardNorton (Also Not Creator/EricBana), [[ComicBook/FantasticFour The Human Torch]], [[MsFanservice Leather Boobs]], [[Franchise/StarWars Mace Windu]] and [[HoYay Gay]] [[{{ComicBook/Bane}} Bane]]. |
| 72 | * The narrator ends the video with these words: |
| 73 | -->'''Narrator:''' If this doesn't make your inner eight year old self [[{{Squee}} squeal in delight]], you're likely dead inside (or a girl). |
| 74 | [[/folder]] |
| 75 | |
| 76 | [[folder:''Prometheus'']] |
| 77 | * "From the director of all those Russell Crowe movies you never saw and the writer of Lost's unsatisfying final episode comes a sort-of-prequel that doesn't use the best parts of the Alien franchise." |
| 78 | [[/folder]] |
| 79 | |
| 80 | %%[[folder:''Paranormal Activity'']] |
| 81 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 82 | |
| 83 | [[folder:''The Amazing Spider-Man'']] |
| 84 | * ''Film/TheAmazingSpiderMan'' (aka ''The Not Really That Amazing Spider-Man''): |
| 85 | * "This summer, witness yet another Spider-Man origin story just so [[Creator/SonyPictures Sony]] could retain the rights to the character" |
| 86 | * "Peter Parker was just an attractive, intelligent, likeable, athletic, well-dressed teenage loser. But when he easily walks into a high-security lab, one radioactive spider will give him the power to: twitch like a crackhead, break everything, get every father figure in his life murdered, act like a complete jerk every time he gets and stutter worse than Creator/ShiaLaBeouf in ''{{Film/Transformers|2007}}''. |
| 87 | * "Embark on a romantic journey, where the hottest girl in school falls for this creepy stalker, proving that love always prevails, even when you have gaping wounds that require immediate medical attention". |
| 88 | * "Immerse yourself in this epic battle, where the hero refuses to fight with the mask on and a villain with the most cliché origin story imaginable, who is conveniently connected to the most important people in Peter's life". |
| 89 | * "Experience the re-retold story, where an uncle strives to find yet another way of saying: 'WithGreatPowerComesGreatResponsibility' as well as other moments that you've seen before: like this a lot of this, and more of this". |
| 90 | * "Swing along with the smartest teenager in Manhattan who uses the [=MySpace=] of search engines and does a terrible job at hiding his secret identity. Seriously, nobody thought that was odd?" |
| 91 | * Starring: Baby Head, [[Creator/MartinSheen Charlie Sheen's Dad]], [[Creator/SallyField Forrest Gump's Mom]], Detective O'Murphy [=McIrish=], [[{{Advertising/Geico}} The Geico Gecko]], Octomom and [[TakeThat Lindsey Lohan]] (If She Had Better Parents). |
| 92 | [[/folder]] |
| 93 | |
| 94 | %%[[folder:''The Twilight Saga: New Moon'']] |
| 95 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 96 | |
| 97 | %%[[folder:''The Twilight Saga: Eclipse'']] |
| 98 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 99 | |
| 100 | [[folder:''The Dark Knight Rises'']] |
| 101 | * "Get ready for a nearly three-hour Batman movie where Batman only shows up for about 33 minutes, and when he does show up, he's so terrible, he reveals his secret identity to complete strangers, [[FailedASpotCheck never conducts background checks on his maids, or his board members,]] uses ineffective gadgets, stands atop random buildings that are way too dangerous to balance on, and wastes several hours painting a bridge in gasoline." |
| 102 | * The ''WebVideo/HalfInTheBag'' cast ask questions about the movies which concluded with this little gem. |
| 103 | -->'''Mike:''' [[LateToThePunchline Bruce Wayne was Batman?!]] [[labelnote:Explanation]]That was after they keep talking about the problems about Bruce Wayne and Batman.[[/labelnote]] |
| 104 | * During the "Starring" portion, they call Creator/MichaelCaine [[PunnyName My Cocaine]], and when they credit Creator/AnneHathaway, [[MaleGaze the shot zooms in to her butt]] while riding the Batpod, while the narrator calls her "[[Film/ThePrincessDiaries The Prince]]-[[MsFanservice ASS]] [[Film/ThePrincessDiaries Diaries]]". |
| 105 | [[/folder]] |
| 106 | |
| 107 | [[folder:''The Lord of the Rings'']] |
| 108 | * "When an evil vagine-eye awakens - its up to this Hobbit [Frodo] and this fantasy boy band to destroy its jewelry, prompting these unlikely heroes to embark on [[SceneryPorn an 11-hour New Zealand tourism commercial]], rife with [[OverlyLongGag walking...roaming...hiking....more walking...and strolling]]." |
| 109 | * "From the award winning visual effects team that launched the career of [[Creator/AndySerkis one man]] [[SerkisFolk who must now wear skintight Spandex and face dots for the rest of his life]] comes a movie bursting with so much manly compassion, you'll think you're watching ''Brokeback Mount Doom''." |
| 110 | * "And an adventure where every lead character faces constant mortal danger, but only Creator/SeanBean dies. Gee... [[ChronicallyKilledActor haven’t seen that before]]." Cue a DeathMontage of Sean Bean's various onscreen deaths. |
| 111 | * To lampshade the trilogies' EndingFatigue, the trailer ends three times. |
| 112 | [[/folder]] |
| 113 | |
| 114 | !!2013 |
| 115 | %%[[folder:''Inception'']] |
| 116 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 117 | |
| 118 | [[folder:''Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull'']] |
| 119 | * "Witness Spielberg and Lucas take a giant, steaming dump on their own legacy by replacing scary Nazis with scary ants, mountains with molehills, and Karen Allen with a far less attractive Karen Allen." |
| 120 | * "so cartoonish, it shows that [[BombproofAppliance a refrigerator will protect you from a nuclear bomb.]] ''(sighs)'' Are you f*cking kidding me?" |
| 121 | [[/folder]] |
| 122 | |
| 123 | [[folder:''Skyfall'']] |
| 124 | * The ''Skyfall''/''Film/HomeAlone'' montage. |
| 125 | * Starring: [[Film/HarryPotter Sexy Voldemort]] |
| 126 | [[/folder]] |
| 127 | |
| 128 | %%[[folder:''The Notebook'']] |
| 129 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 130 | |
| 131 | [[folder:''The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn'']] |
| 132 | * Culminating the RunningGag with the "STARES!" from the first ''Twilight'' Honest Trailer: |
| 133 | --> '''Narrator:''' Brace yourself for two movies [[{{Padding}} so unnecessarily long]] that they include: five Volvo commercials, two montages of the previous ''Twilight'' movies, four games of chess, and the '''MOST...STARES...''''''''EVER!''''' |
| 134 | * TheStinger: "So he's gonna have to live with Kristen Stewart forever? I'd rather get my head ripped off!" |
| 135 | [[/folder]] |
| 136 | |
| 137 | [[folder:''Les Misérables'' (2012)]] |
| 138 | * ''Film/LesMiserables2012'' (aka ''Les Miserableblebles''): |
| 139 | ** The narrator decides that with everyone singing their lines in the movie, he's going to sing the trailer. |
| 140 | ** "Now, at the dawn of revolution, one young man will give up ''everything'' for a woman he's met ''through a fence''." |
| 141 | ** "Meet Fantine, a random factory worker who brings an incriminating letter to work for no reason and is fired. Sinking into desperation so deep she becomes the most pathetic woman in France in just two verses of song. Watch her with no hair, watch her with no teeth, yet she becomes the most desirable prostitute in town, which she’ll blame on Hugh Jackman even though he had nothing to do with it.” What makes it even funnier is that the whole reason she fell into prostitution was because Hugh Jackman - well, Jean Valjean - allowed his foreman to fire her. So in fact, he had a lot to do with it. |
| 142 | ** During the "Starring part", instead of the narrator saying the gag names, we get this: |
| 143 | ---> '''Fancy ComicBook/{{Wolverine}} (Jean Valjean[=/=]Creator/HughJackman):''' I have a very annoying vibrato.\ |
| 144 | '''Susan Boyle (Fantine[=/=]Creator/AnneHathaway):''' I really really really wanted to win an Oscar.\ |
| 145 | '''Fat [[Film/{{Gladiator}} Maximus]] (Javert[=/=]Creator/RussellCrowe):''' I should have never agreed to sing an entire movie!\ |
| 146 | '''French Film/{{Borat}} (Thénardier[=/=]Creator/SachaBaronCohen):''' They really should have shown less of me and more of Eponine.\ |
| 147 | '''Creator/TimBurton (Madame Thénardier[=/=]Creator/HelenaBonhamCarter):''' [[Film/{{Beetlejuice}} Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!]] |
| 148 | ** The last line: "If your girlfriend doesn't appreciate you after sitting through this movie, then you should really rethink your relationship." |
| 149 | [[/folder]] |
| 150 | |
| 151 | [[folder:''Jurassic Park'']] |
| 152 | * "Revisit the adventure that launched your childhood obsession with dinosaurs, and [[{{Sequelitis}} two really disappointing sequels.]] Re-experience the groundbreaking CGI that still holds up after 20 years, [[TechnologyMarchesOn and all of this technology that doesn't]]." |
| 153 | --> '''Lex:''' An interactive CD-ROM!...It's a Unix system. |
| 154 | * The Starring section: [[RecycledInSpace Land]] Film/{{Jaws}} (The T-Rex), Derp Face (Ellie), [[Franchise/TheSmurfs Papa Smurf]] (Hammond), [[Film/TheFly1986 Brundlefly]] (Malcolm), [[Creator/MaryKateAndAshleyOlsen The Olsen Twins]] (pair of raptors), [[Franchise/MarvelCinematicUniverse Two-Eyed Nick Fury]] (Arnold), and [[ShapedLikeItself The Guy from Jurassic Park]] (Grant). |
| 155 | [[/folder]] |
| 156 | |
| 157 | [[folder:''Harry Potter'']] |
| 158 | * "From Creator/JKRowling, the author of the book series [[TakeThat that kept Borders open for another few years]], comes the movie adaptation for people too lazy to read." |
| 159 | * "When an evil noseless freak threatens to take over the world, it's up to this boy wizard (Harry), his totally useless friend (Ron) and his superior in every way, hot lady friend (Hermione) to defeat him. (And when I said hot, I only meant [[JailBaitWait in the last three movies after she turned 18.]] Pervs)." |
| 160 | * ..."and where child endangerment is totally no big deal." |
| 161 | -->'''Narrator:''' Seriously, how have they not shut this school down yet? |
| 162 | * "A franchise so epic, it took ten years, eight films, [[Creator/ChrisColumbus fo]][[Creator/AlfonsoCuaron ur]] [[Creator/MikeNewell dire]][[Creator/DavidYates ctors]] [[TheOtherDarrin and]] [[Creator/RichardHarris two]] [[Creator/MichaelGambon Dumbledores]] to tell. Featuring: [[Film/HarryPotterAndThePhilosophersStone The one that started it all]]. [[Film/HarryPotterAndTheChamberOfSecrets The one]] [[{{Sequelitis}} everyone hates]]. [[Film/HarryPotterAndThePrisonerOfAzkaban The one]] [[SurprisinglyImprovedSequel everyone loves]]. [[Film/HarryPotterAndTheGobletOfFire The one with]] [[Creator/RobertPattinson Shovelface]]. [[Film/HarryPotterAndTheOrderOfThePhoenix The one]] [[OfficialCouple with the raging hormones]]. [[Film/HarryPotterAndTheHalfBloodPrince The one where]] [[ItWasHisSled Dumbledore dies]] (Oh... spoiler alert!). [[Film/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows The one]] [[{{Filler}} you can skip]]. [[Film/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows And the one]] [[TearJerker/HarryPotterAndTheDeathlyHallows that made adults cry like little babies]]." |
| 163 | * "Follow our heroes as they transform from adorable youngsters struggling to act, to awkward tweens, to barely legal heartthrobs, to young adults pretending to look like grownups. ''[cut to Epilogue]'' Ron really let himself go." |
| 164 | * "Witness the magic that will dazzle you with questions like: 'If magic is supposed to be secret, why is their doorway in the most highly trafficked subway station in London?' 'Why are all the bullies in one house, and why don't they just expel them? And 'isn't it disturbing that this rat on Ron's crotch [[spoiler:is actually a grown man]]?'" |
| 165 | * "Relive the excitement of acclaimed British thespians yelling nonsense, battles that would've been way cooler with lightsabers, or if they just moved around a little more, and Rupert Grint's dumb face." |
| 166 | * Starring: [[Creator/DanielRadcliffe Luke Skypotter]], [[Creator/RupertGrint Ginger Spice]], [[Creator/EmmaWatson Your First Erection]], Creator/WarwickDavis, [[Creator/AlanRickman Professor Hans Gruber]], [[Creator/JasonIsaacs Claudio Miranda]], [[Creator/GaryOldman Hairy Old Man]], [[ActingForTwo Warwick Davis]], [[Creator/BrendanGleeson Forest Whittaker]], [[Creator/RobbieColtrane Hodor]], [[Creator/RalphFiennes Michael Jackson]], [[RunningGag Lindsay Lohan]], [[RuleOfThree Warwick Davis]], [[Creator/TobyJones Vladimir Putin]], Larry King, [[Creator/MichaelGambon Gandolf the Gay]], and [[OverlyLongGag Warwick Davis]]. |
| 167 | [[/folder]] |
| 168 | |
| 169 | [[folder:''Iron Man 2'']] |
| 170 | * Jon Favreau is called [[PoorMansSubstitute "the poor man's Joss Whedon".]] |
| 171 | * "Witness a superhero movie with [[NeverTrustATrailer just enough Iron Man action to fill a 3 minute trailer, but not a feature-length film]]. Trust us, we counted ''(caption: 23 minutes)''. Instead, sit back and prepare to watch Iron Man attend corporate events, eat donuts, DJ birthday parties, and pee his pants." |
| 172 | [[/folder]] |
| 173 | |
| 174 | [[folder:''Star Trek'' (2009)]] |
| 175 | * "Star Trek, [[CanonDiscontinuity the cool new franchise that used time travel gobbledygook to throw away 50 years of canon]]. But who cares? 'Cause Star Trek is awesome again." |
| 176 | * "Meet Nero, a Romulan out for vengeance after his home planet is destroyed. He'll be given a second chance to save his species when a black hole sends him back in time, but instead of warning his planet about their impending doom, he'll drift around waiting in space for 25 years." |
| 177 | * The "Starring" section with Kirk as [[WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}} Zapp Brannigan]] is just too perfect. |
| 178 | [[/folder]] |
| 179 | |
| 180 | [[folder:''Fast Five'']] |
| 181 | * Wrestling/TheRock ad Hobbs is described as "jacked up on baby oil". |
| 182 | * Overt homo eroticism/ *scenes of Diesel and Johnson staring at each other* |
| 183 | * The trailer describes Dom having to gather everyone's favorite heist movie stereotypes: the hunky mastermind, the nerd, the Creator/BernieMac, they guy who can't speak English, and the guy who's constantly snacking. |
| 184 | * The Starring section: [[Franchise/ToyStory Mr. Potato Head]] (Dom), Bad [[Creator/KeanuReeves Keanu]] (Brian), Film/TheToothFairy (Hobbs), Loofah! (Tej), Ty{{Creator/Reese Witherspoon}} (Roman), [[Franchise/MortalKombat Liu Kand]] (Han), [[AffirmativeActionGirl and These Three Interchangeable Tough Girls]]. |
| 185 | * TheCameo in TheStinger of ''WebVideo/CinemaSins''. |
| 186 | |
| 187 | [[/folder]] |
| 188 | |
| 189 | [[folder:''The Last Airbender'']] |
| 190 | * "From [[Creator/MNightShiamalan the once successful director]], who turned his own name into box-office poison, comes the poorly-directed, lazily-written, terribly shot, poorly acted, clumsily edited, oddly paced, insulting adaptation of The Last Airbender. In crazily converted 3D!" |
| 191 | * The cast is merely "This Girl, This Kid, This... Other Kid, This Dude, Who Cast This Thing?! Oh, The Guy From ''Series/TheDailyShow''!, and Film/SlumdogMillionaire!" |
| 192 | [[/folder]] |
| 193 | |
| 194 | %%[[folder:''Grown Ups'']] |
| 195 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 196 | |
| 197 | [[folder:''Superman IV: The Quest for Peace'']] |
| 198 | * ''Film/SupermanIVTheQuestForPeace'' (the honest title is pronounced as ''Superman Iv: The Quest for Peace''): |
| 199 | ** The entire Honest Trailer is made in the style of a trailer from TheEighties. |
| 200 | * "From the production company behind ''Film/Breakin2ElectricBoogaloo'' comes a Superman movie so bad it'll likely [[FranchiseKiller kill the entire franchise for 19 years!]]" |
| 201 | * "Creator/ChristopherReeve is back for one last paycheck in one of the corniest movies of the decade... [[UnintentionalPeriodPiece which is saying a lot]], since it's the '80s. Watch as this mild mannered dork turns into... this mild mannered dork" |
| 202 | * "Recoil in horror to the return of mentally-unstable actress Creator/MargotKidder, as she struggles to play ComicBook/LoisLane. And Creator/GeneHackman returning as ComicBook/LexLuthor, an evil genius who can't pronounce the word nuclear [''cue Lex pronouncing the word'']." |
| 203 | * The narrator describes the ''ridiculous'' plot of the movie. He is very annoyed that Superman loses being clawed by Nuclear Man. |
| 204 | ** "Marvel at Superman's powers that you know and love! And stare in wide-eyed disbelief to [[NewPowersAsThePlotDemands these new, completely new made-up powers like]]: Rebuilding the Great Wall of China with his eyes! Lowering people with his mind! And helping this woman breathe in outer space!" |
| 205 | * "So, if you thought this year's ''{{Film/Predator}}'' and ''{{Film/Spaceballs}}'' looked too polished, then we've got the summer movie for you! Filled with: Terrible blue screen! Fake miniatures! Ridiculously oversized props! Really, really terrible blue screen! And the same flying shots used over, and over, and over, and over again! Seriously? These are all the same shots? You couldn't do one more take? That's lazy you guys!" |
| 206 | * Starring: Captain America, Hack Man, Desperately Seeking Superman, Charlie Sheen, Betty Ford and Dolph Lundgren-ish. |
| 207 | * TheStinger: |
| 208 | -->Man, this movie is bad! At least, it's not Marvel, right? [[ItWillNeverCatchOn They'll never figure out how to do movies]]! |
| 209 | [[/folder]] |
| 210 | |
| 211 | [[folder:''X-Men Origins: Wolverine'']] |
| 212 | * "Watch as Wolverine's centuries of war are glossed over in one montage to instead make time for things no one wants to see Wolverine do: [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking go on dates, chop wood, get stuck in traffic, and fumble around in the bathroom]]." |
| 213 | * "And if you thought they could only ruin Wolverine, wait until you see what they did with Deadpool. The Merc with a Mouth gets his mouth removed and trades his cool costume for 8 Min Abs and magic eyeshadow. Oh, and he also gets a grab bag of random mutant powers that Deadpool never had. Are we sure Brett Ratner didn't direct this?" |
| 214 | [[/folder]] |
| 215 | |
| 216 | %%[[folder:''Independence Day'']] |
| 217 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 218 | |
| 219 | [[folder:''Batman & Robin'']] |
| 220 | * "In a world full of crime, one man is determined to kill Batman once and for all. [[BaitAndSwitchComparison His name is director Joel Schumacher]]." |
| 221 | * Arnold Schwarzenegger is credited as "The Punning Man, Coldnan the Barbarian, Kindergarten Ice Pop, Terminator Blue...all right, we get it!" |
| 222 | * ''Film/BatmanAndRobin'' (aka ''The Worst Batman Ever''): |
| 223 | [[/folder]] |
| 224 | |
| 225 | %%[[folder:''Breaking Bad'']] |
| 226 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 227 | |
| 228 | [[folder:''Star Trek Into Darkness'']] |
| 229 | * "Prepare for the all-new sequel to the franchise reboot based on the sequel to the original franchise: Star Trek Into Darkness. Uh, did someone forget a colon?" |
| 230 | * "and newcomer Carol Marcus, [[MsFanservice who's only there for one reason. Make that two reasons. Bewbs.]]" |
| 231 | [[/folder]] |
| 232 | |
| 233 | [[folder:''Iron Man 3'']] |
| 234 | * "When a [[DiabolicalMastermind terrorist mastermind]] [[DarkestHour kidnaps the president and brings the country to its knees]], there is only one Marvel franchise that Disney can afford to call..." ''[shot of Film/{{the Avengers|2012}}]'' "... [[BaitAndSwitch I wish!]] Actually, just this guy (shows Tony Stark). No, really, [[BroughtDownToNormal just the guy, not even the suit.]] Tony Stark is: Regular Man in: ''Iron Man 3''." |
| 235 | * "Come on, the Avengers assemble faster than this!" |
| 236 | * The Mandarin being referred as "Osama Creator/BenKingsley". |
| 237 | * The narrator completely losing it about TheReveal with the Mandarin: |
| 238 | -->"[[TheyWastedAPerfectlyGoodCharacter THEY WERE DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB AND THEY TURNED IT INTO A PUNCHLINE?!!]] This is Iron Man's [[ArchEnemy Arch]]-[[PrecisionFStrike F*cking]] [[ArchEnemy Nemesis!]] This isn't just ignoring the comic, this is dropping their pants and wiping their butt with it! What bad guy did they even replace him with? (shot of Aldritch Killian screaming "''I'' AM THE MANDARIN!") AW COME ON!" [[note]]Keep in mind that this was before ''Film/AllHailTheKing'' was released.[[/note]] |
| 239 | * "[[BaitAndSwitch Instead]], we get [[TheManBehindTheMan Aldritch Killian]], an ex-nerd [[DisproportionateRetribution out for revenge after Tony skipped a meeting one time]], and his nameless henchmen with a confusing grab-bag of fire powers, like (sounding progressively more confused) glowing, getting hot, exploding, SuperStrength, [[HealingFactor regrowing limbs]], [[MagicPants flameproof clothes]], and... [[BreathWeapon shooting fire off their mouth]]?! [[NewPowersAsThePlotDemands They really made them up as they went along, huh?]]" |
| 240 | * Starring: [[Creator/RobertDowneyJr R2DJ]], [[Creator/GwynethPaltrow Cooper Hero]], [[Creator/BenKingsley Gandhi]], [[Creator/GuyPearce Nerdy]] Film/{{Memento}}, [[Creator/DonCheadle Murtaugh]], [[Film/PulpFiction Vincent Vega]] (long-haired [[Creator/JonFavreau Happy Hogan]]), and The Worst Extra Ever. |
| 241 | * Because the narrator was furious that [[SupermanStaysOutOfGotham Iron Man didn't call the Avengers for help]], there is a "Not Starring" list: "The Hulk, Thor, Captain America, Nick Fury, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Agent Coulson, Agent Maria Hill, Selvig, or even the Galaga Guy." |
| 242 | [[/folder]] |
| 243 | |
| 244 | %%[[folder:''World War Z'']] |
| 245 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 246 | |
| 247 | [[folder:''The Matrix'']] |
| 248 | * "[[{{Sequelitis}} The Matrix...and its sequels.]]" |
| 249 | * "Monica Bellucci...ha, just kidding, Bewbs." |
| 250 | [[/folder]] |
| 251 | |
| 252 | [[folder:''After Earth'']] |
| 253 | * The narrator's [[MyGodYouAreSerious utter disbelief]] at the protagonist's name actually being ''Cypher Raige''. |
| 254 | -->'''Epic Voice Guy:''' Watch as Will Smith, one of the most charismatic actors, plays a man with no charisma...named Cypher Raige. Haha, very funny, guys, what's his real name? ''(montage of people saying his name)'' ...You've got to be kidding me. |
| 255 | * The narrator flying into rage in the middle of the trailer, and [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere up and leaving,]] but not before alternating between complete stunned silence and angry muttering. |
| 256 | -->'''Epic Voice Guy:''' Look, I gotta get outta here. It's just not worth it. You guys don't have to pay me for this one; just call me up next week for ''[[Series/TheWalkingDead Walking Dead]]''. <EVG leaves the recording booth, gets into his car, and speeds off> |
| 257 | ** Particularly because the trailer keeps playing without him narrating it, including the Starring segment. And someone who sounds like the [[WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons Squeaky Voiced Teenager]] takes over and reads the quote at the end. |
| 258 | [[/folder]] |
| 259 | |
| 260 | %%[[folder:''The Walking Dead'' (Seasons [=1–3=])]] |
| 261 | %%[[/folder]] |
| 262 | |
| 263 | [[folder:''Pacific Rim'']] |
| 264 | * There's something inherently funny about this sentence from the trailer: "When giant aliens emerge from this iTunes visualiser at the bottom of the ocean, the entire world's resources will be spent on building giant robots to punch them in the face." |
| 265 | * The movie being summed up as "Either the most awesome dumb movie ever made, or the dumbest awesome movie ever made". |
| 266 | * Starring: Things your inner 9-year-old will love. Giant robots. Giant monsters. Giant robots punching giant monsters. Using shipping crates as brass knuckles. Using a freighter like a baseball bat. Bo staff fighting. Colors! A doggy! Aw, that's got three arms! Pew pew pew! Woah! And that one part where he's all like "ugh" and the kaiju's all "rarr!" |
| 267 | [[/folder]] |
| 268 | |
| 269 | [[folder:''Thor'']] |
| 270 | * ''Film/{{Thor}}'' (aka ''Thor's ObligatoryMovie''): |
| 271 | * The narrator says that the only way in or out of Asgard is through a level of Rainbow Road from ''VideoGame/MarioKart''. |
| 272 | * Loki's plan is ''very'' complicated |
| 273 | * Starring: |
| 274 | * When ''Screen Junkies'' had ''Thor'' writer Zack Stentz as a guest, he revealed Kenneth Branagh considered changing the name of Mjölnir (Thor's hammer) because it was too hard to say. If his account of the discussion is anything to go by, even in private Branagh speaks in the way one'd expect from a man known for his adaptations of Shakespeare. |
| 275 | --->'''Branagh:''' Would the fans string me up if I changed that?\ |
| 276 | '''Zack Stentz:''' They would, Sir Kenneth, yeah.\ |
| 277 | '''Branagh:''' ...Alright, we shant be doing that. |
| 278 | [[/folder]] |
| 279 | |
| 280 | [[folder:''Man of Steel'']] |
| 281 | * General Zod plans to annihilate humanity with the power. Of '''DUBSTEP!''' |
| 282 | * The whole bit where the narrator discusses Superman's OpposedMentors in the form of his fathers. |
| 283 | -->'''Narrator:''' In order to defeat Zod, Superman must decide which of his two ''[[CastingGag Robin Hood]]'' dads to listen to. Space Dad says show off your powers to inspire humanity. Farm Dad says hide your powers and let innocent people die. Watch Superman honor them both, as he shows off his powers AND lets innocent people die. |
| 284 | * "It's a bird! It's a plane! It's... coming right for us! Everybody run!" |
| 285 | [[/folder]] |
| 286 | |
| 287 | [[folder:''Home Alone'']] |
| 288 | * At one point, it says that Kevin shows all the signs of becoming a [[TheSociopath sociopath]] -- like talking to himself, or trapping a pair of nonviolent criminals inside a sadistic world of torture straight out of ''Franchise/{{Saw}}'' from which there is no escape, for his own amusement. ("But gosh-darn if he isn't just the cutest little thing!"). Then it calls Harry and Marv out on being oddly obsessed with one house that has almost nothing worth stealing. |
| 289 | * Creator/JoePesci is billed as Joe Pepsi and John Heard is billed as "[[ShapedLikeItself The Dad from]] ''Film/HomeAlone''". |
| 290 | [[/folder]] |
| 291 | |
| 292 | [[folder:''The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey'']] |
| 293 | * "[[{{Padding}} Prepare for a new movie trilogy adapted from a 300-page book that'll ultimately be just as long as the last trilogy, which was adapted from three 400-page books.]]" |
| 294 | * ''Film/TheHobbitAnUnexpectedJourney'' (aka ''The Hobbit: A Totally Expected Let Down'') |
| 295 | [[/folder]] |
| 296 | |
| 297 | [[folder:''Dragonball Evolution'']] |
| 298 | * For Christmas 2013, they tackled [[Film/DragonballEvolution this film]] with the help of ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged'''s Goku, Piccolo, Krillin, and later Vegeta. |
| 299 | * The narrator names this movie as "America's biggest insult to Japanese culture since Hiroshima". |
| 300 | * "Prepare for [[Creator/TwentiethCenturyFox Fox]]'s [[AshCanCopy half-assed attempt to cash in on their expiring rights]] to ''Manga/DragonBall''. It's an adaption that steals from everything [[InNameOnly except the source material]], featuring elements of: ''Film/TheMatrix'', ''[[Film/TheLordOfTheRings Lord Of The Rings]]'', ''Film/{{Twilight}}''?! and... ''Film/TheLastAirbender''...? (cue [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFzLMGKtY04#t=53s clip]] showing someone '''[[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer directly referencing]]''' the subject material in question from the film) Oh, '''come on!'''" |
| 301 | * The narrator tries to describe the plot of the movie, but gets lost, so Abridged Goku, Abridged Piccolo and Abridged Krillin come to help. The narrator isn't sold, eventually, and they leave breaking his roof. |
| 302 | * Krillin's not in it, but he gets an "''Evolution'' Krillin Owned Counter" for that very reason. |
| 303 | * "...as the epic ki attacks from the cartoons are replaced with CGI hand-farts!" [''shows [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFzLMGKtY04#t=2m42s montage]] of CGI ki attacks with fart sounds inserted''] |
| 304 | * When the narrator tries to go to "Starring", he is interrupted: |
| 305 | -->'''Abridged Vegeta:''' How dare they make a movie about Kakarot and not invite me?\ |
| 306 | '''Narrator:''' Oh God, not another one...\ |
| 307 | '''Abridged Vegeta:''' I am Vegeta, PRINCE OF ALL SAYA- ''[sees Movie Yamcha]'' oh my God, is ''that'' the beta male? Looks like a tiger with Down Syndrome. Never mind, bullet dodged. |
| 308 | * The "Starring" section is done by Abridged Vegeta instead of the narrator: |
| 309 | -->'''Starring:''' {{Advertising/Geico}} (Goku), Teetees (Chi-Chi), ''Film/TheMask'' (Piccolo), [[Film/TheMatrixReloaded The Ki Maker]] (Grandpa Gohan), [[Film/CrouchingTigerHiddenDragon Crouching Tiger]], [[StarDerailingRole Dead Career]] (Master Roshi), [[TheScrappy Nobody's Favourite]] [[Creator/ErnieHudson Ghostbuster]] (Sifu Norris), Film/MightyJoeYoung (Oozaru) and Not [[Franchise/TombRaider Lara Croft]] (Bulma). |
| 310 | -->'''Abridged Vegeta:''' Oh God, what a steaming pile... |
| 311 | * In TheStinger: |
| 312 | -->'''Abridged Vegeta:''' So, wait -- Kaka-not wishes a guy he just met back to life at the end of the movie, but he just lets the man who raised him from birth stay dead? Yeah, I can dig that. |
| 313 | [[/folder]] |
| 314 | |
| 315 | [[folder:Other]] |
| 316 | * Epic Voice Guy's cameo in "''[[WebVideo/CinemaSins Everything Wrong With]] Film/IronMan3''". |
| 317 | * Epic Voice Guy's cameo in ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N15J4ibej8 How Star Trek Into Darkness Should Have Ended]], where once again he gets to point out "[[FunetikAksent bewbs]]". |
| 318 | [[/folder]] |
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