Line #33 Funny/FiftyShadesOfGrey


1	!!The novels
2	* For the interview, Kate had planned to ask Grey if he was gay, for no apparent reason.
3	* In ''Fifty Shades Darker'', Ana and Christian go to Jose's art show. To their surprise, several people recognize Ana and they soon find out why: [[StalkerShrine an entire wall is dedicated to photos of her]] (that she didn't know existed). Christian immediately purchases every picture.
4	** This part is, by the way, blatant plagiarism of ''Film/BlueIsTheWarmestColor''.
5	* A lot of the writing in general is of [[{{Narm}} hilariously poor quality]]:
6	** Any time the phrase [[PurpleProse "inner goddess"]] is uttered. Among the things it does is a "salsa merengue," and waving pom-poms like a cheerleader, and it is once said to be like someone who has had an ice-cream snatched from it.
7	** There's also the line from ''Fifty Shades Darker'': "My inner goddess is doing a triple axel dismount from the uneven bars." "Triple axel" is a jump in figure skating. Dismounting the uneven bars is done in ''gymnastics''.
8	** Every time the "subconscious" is mentioned. Interestingly, the "subconscious" isn't really her subconscious, because she's clearly aware what the subconscious is doing (such as wearing half-moon spectacles) which is fully conscious.
9	** Every time Ana goes "Oh my!" or "Holy crap!" and wants to masturbate at the sight of Christian Grey.
10	** Every time a foil packet (euphemism for condom) is mentioned during a sex scene.
11	** Every time a euphemism for vulva is used, e.g. "my sex" or "down ''there''."
12	** Every time a euphemism for penis is used, e.g. "incredible length".
13	** "I would like to bite that lip."
14	** Christian's explanation for why he does BDSM: "Because I'm [[TitleDrop fifty shades of]] fucked up, Ana!" You don't say, Chris. You don't say.
15	** "Moving down, I push him into my mouth. He groans again. Ha! My inner goddess is thrilled. I can do this. I can fuck him with my mouth."
16	*** "My very own Christian Grey-flavored popsicle."
17	** "I'm a ho with dirty sex hair."
18	** "His eyebrows widened in surprise."
19	** Ana's mental response to the news that she just had "vanilla sex" with Grey: "I thought it was chocolate fudge brownie sex that we had, with a cherry on the top."
20	** "He reaches between my legs and [[FetishRetardant pulls on the blue string]] – [[BigWhat what?!]] – [[FetishRetardant and gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet.]] [[SirSwearsalot Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all… Jeez.]] And then [[IKEAErotica he’s inside me.]]"
21	** In the beginning of the first novel, Ana is [[{{Squick}} using Grey's toothbrush on purpose, after she spent last night vomiting]]. It's supposed to convey her physical longing for him, but it comes off as disgusting rather than sexy/romantic. When she later tells him about it, for absolutely no reason at all, he's ''[[HorribleJudgeOfCharacter pleased]]'' by it.
22	--->'''Ana''': I feel so naughty.
23	** The fact that the author obviously isn't familiar with the BDSM subculture.
24	** There are quite a few fake quotes that people enjoy posting, just for that [[PoesLaw "but are you SURE this is fake?"]] feeling. This is one of the more notorious ones (it has ''fanart''!):

Context Funny / FiftyShadesOfGrey