Line #1 Funny/EdWood


1	* Ed's completely insane idea for a movie, based on the random collection of stock footage he's just viewed:
2	-->'''Ed''': The story opens on these mysterious explosions. Nobody knows what's causing them, but it's upsetting all the buffalo. So, the military are called in to solve the mystery.
3	-->'''Assistant''': You forgot the giant squid.
4	-->'''Ed''': Nope! Saving that for my big underwater climax!
5	* After sending ''Film/GlenOrGlenda'' to a studio executive, Ed calls him on the phone:
6	-->'''Ed''': So, Mr. Feldmen, what did you think of the picture? ...Really? Worst film you ever saw? Well, my next one will be better. Hello? Hello?
7	* The premiere of ''Film/BrideOfTheMonster'', with Tor Johnson blinded by contacts, the furious audience wanting to rip Ed to pieces, and their car being stripped in the few minutes they're inside.
8	** "Now THAT was a premiere!"
9	* Bela throwing a massive, and [[ClusterFBomb particularly profane]] [[UnstoppableRage tantrum]] [[BerserkButton when referred to as]] "[[Creator/BorisKarloff Karloff's]] [[{{Sidekick}} sidekick]]."
10	** Even better is the BrickJoke during the making of ''Film/Plan9FromOuterSpace'' later on, when Bunny meets Bela's stand-in.
11	--->"Now let's hear you call Boris Karloff a cocksucker."
12	** The best part of that scene was literally when Ed asks Bela if he wants to take a breather after his UnstoppableRage. Bela responds with a "Bullshit! I'm ready now, roll the camera!", all while crossing his arms like an angry child who didn't get candy.
13	*** Compounded even further by everyone on set taking that as their cue to IMMEDIATELY snap to attention and get ready to film a take.
14	** Also, the discovery of Bela's stand-in.
15	*** The ProductionPosse's bafflement at Wood's choice of stand-in in general is fantastic. "He's got his ears."
16	--->"My God... it's uncanny!"
17	*** Ed, having decided the stand-in is a perfect lookalike for Bela, somehow fails to notice the man is bald until it's pointed out to him by the makeup artist ("Huh, I hadn't noticed that. Put a wig on him!"). Audiences won't notice the small details, indeed.
18	** The Halloween scene where Bela mutters "[[OhCrap oh shit!]]" under his breath while fumbling around in his bathroom.
19	* Bunny talking to Ed at the wrestling match about becoming a woman, [[TooMuchInformation and thoroughly]] [[{{Squick}} unnerving]] Dolores in the process.
20	-->"It's something I've wanted to do for a long time. But it wasn't until I saw your movie that I realized I have to take action! '''Goodbye,''' penis!"
21	* Just this simple exchange.
22	-->'''Ed:'''''[on the phone with Bunny]'' Listen, hit the bars, work some parties, and get me transvestites! I need transvestites! Alright, bye. ''[hangs up]''\
23	'''Bela:''' Eddie,...what kind of a movie is this?
24	* Ed's mouthing of the words to Criswell's narration of ''Plan 9''--and being appropriately hammy while doing it.
25	* The WhereAreTheyNow captions are hysterical, especially with the music and editing still doing its best to be reverent. Highlights include describing Tor Johnson as "achieving his greatest fame as a best-selling Halloween mask", Paul Marco being "the founder and president of the Paul Marco fan club", Bunny Breckinridge "despite much talk, never actually had his sex change. He is currently living in UsefulNotes/NewJersey" and Criswell "departing our dimension in 1982".
26	* The sequence where they need to steal the octopus for ''Bride of the Atom''. Whilst they ''forget the motor'', resulting in poor Bela having to humiliate himself by rolling around, the theft is as funny; with the octopus suspended from the ceiling, they position Tor underneath it to catch it. When it drops, it seemingly ''crushes him''. For several seconds, they seem to believe they've killed him. Tor's reaction after: "That was better than wrestling!"
27	** As Bela steps into the man-made pond to film Vornoff's death:
28	-->'''Bela''': God DAMN, it's cold!
29	-->'''Ed''': It'll warm up once you're in it.
30	-->'''Bela''': FUCK YOU! You come out here! Hey! [[VampireVords Throw me that vhisky!]]
31	* Ed and Creator/OrsonWelles commiserating with each other about ExecutiveMeddling, hilarious because Ed is complaining about his terrible films and Welles is complaining about a movie which will come to be regarded as a classic FilmNoir:
32	-->'''Ed''': And they always want to cast their buddies. It doesn't even matter if they're right for the part.
33	-->'''Orson Welles''': Tell me about it. I'm supposed to do a [[Film/TouchOfEvil thriller]] for Creator/{{Universal}}. They want Creator/CharltonHeston as a Mexican.
34	** This crosses over into Heartwarming, but Welles never comments once on Ed Wood being in a dress with a blonde wig when they meet. It's nice to see Ed isn't judged by his hero. On the other hand, [[FridgeLogic this is Hollywood and Welles has probably seen stranger, so transvestites aren't weird to him]].

Context Funny / EdWood