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1!!'''As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked [[Administrivia/SpoilersOff as per policy]]. Administrivia/YouHaveBeenWarned.'''
2[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/38c90af0_21ee_4aa2_9a46_13d7631ecc85.png]]
3[[caption-width-right:350:Don't worry, he's a licensed doctor. [[BaitAndSwitch ...Of psychology]].]]
4
5The fact that [[WebAnimation/ASDFMovie this series]] consists mainly of five second clips that are so random, [[SugarWiki/FunnyMoments they're hilarious]], just goes to show that you can basically put down any moment in the series. But we know you’re here for specifics, so....
6----
7[[foldercontrol]]
8
9[[folder:[=asdfmovie=]]]
10* "Got your nose!" "Look out, [[LiteralMinded he's got a nose!]]" ''([[RuleOfThree bang bang bang]])'''
11** '''([[OverlyLongGag bang bang bang]])''
12* "You gotta help me, man! My tie is evil and it's gonna kill meeee...!" ''(other guy backs away slowly)'' "Please don't hurt me..." ''({{evil laugh}})''
13* "Hello, parking meter!" "Hello!"
14** On the subject of the talking parking meter, the [[OhCrap "D:"]] look on the guy's face when he hears the parking meter talk to him.
15* The "Die, potato!" guy and the Potato.
16-->'''Die Potato Guy:''' Die, potato.
17-->'''Potato:''' Noooo!
18-->''[The Potato gets squashed]''
19* The "You know Who's gay?" guy and his companion.
20-->'''YKWG Guy:''' Hey, you know who's gay? You!
21-->''[The YKWG Guy looks down to see he has been stabbed by his companion]''
22-->'''YKWG Guy:''' OH COME ON!
23[[/folder]]
24
25[[folder:[=asdfmovie2=]]]
26* "I baked you a pie." "Oh boy, what flavor?!" "PIE FLAVOR." ''(guitar riff as a mini pie pops out of the big pie)''
27* The "Die, potato!" guy tries to kill the Potato again. The potato [[DramaticGunCock pulls a gun on him]] and says, "[[TheDogBitesBack Not]] [[TookALevelInBadass today.]]"
28* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKB4h9gvmm0&t=28s "Ha ha! They said I could never teach a llama to drive!!"]].
29* The I Like Trains Kid and his appearances.
30-->'''Little Girl:''' I like singing!
31-->'''Little Boy:''' ''(moving his arms around)'' I like dancing!
32-->'''I Like Trains Kid:''' I like trains. ''[is immediately hit by train]''
33** His second appearance.
34--->'''Teacher:''' Hey kids, I bought you some cookies!
35--->''(kids cheer and scream "Cookies!" as the camera pans to the I Like Trains Kid)''
36---->'''I Like Trains Kid:''' I like trains.
37--->''({{beat}} as the teacher and kids look at him)''
38--->''[I Like Trains Kid is hit by the train]''
39** [[RuleOfThree His third appearance.]]
40--->'''I Like Trains Kid's Father:''' What are you up to, son?
41--->'''I Like Trains Kid:''' I like trains.
42--->'''I Like Trains Kid's Father:''' Ha ha! ''([[BreakingtheFourthWall looking at viewer]])'' Yes, you do!
43--->''(The scene switches to the "You know who's gay?" guy and his companion.)''
44--->'''YKWG Guy:''' Hey, you know who's gay? [[KilledMidSentence You-]]
45--->''[YKWG Guy and his companion are hit by the train]''
46* '''State trooper''': What are you, a man or a mouse!?
47-->'''Horse''': (Awkward silence)
48* DESMOND, THE MOON BEAR!
49-->"How did I get here?"
50-->'''THE END.'''
51* The gullible guy and his friend.
52-->'''Friend:''' Hey, it says gullible on the ceiling. ''(Gullible Guy looks up to see that it does indeed say "gullible" on the ceiling.)''
53-->'''Gullible Guy:''' Oh, so it does-- ''(his friend is holding his stolen lungs)'' Aw, you stole my lungs.
54* "I can't wait to eat this bagel!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."
55[[/folder]]
56
57[[folder:[=asdfmovie2=] deleted scenes]]
58* The astronaut asking if they're at their destination yet to the anger of his fellow astronaut. The astronaut ends up lost in space.
59* "Who parked their car... on my ''sandwich''?!" "''I'' did." ''(gets pissed off and explodes)''
60* The fax machine turning into a robot.
61-->'''Fax Robot:''' FEED ME PAPER.
62[[/folder]]
63
64[[folder:marmite is terrible (asdfmite)]]
65* ''All'' of the skits deserve mention.
66** marmite finds the pony
67--->'''Little Girl:''' Marmite, have you seen my pony?\
68'''Marmite:''' Yes. ''(Little Girl [[HopeSpot smiles]])'' [[KickTheDog I ate him.]] ''(Little Girl cries)''
69** marmite makes a new friend
70--->'''Guy:''' Marmite, why does no one like you? ''[[SpontaneousHumanCombustion (is suddenly on fire)]]'' [[MajorInjuryUnderreaction Oh, yeah.]]
71** marmite gives directions
72--->'''Driver:''' Hey. Uh, how do I get to your place again? ''[[{{Beat}} (beat)]]'' O-Okay, thanks. ''(hangs up; [[{{Troll}} crashes car]])''
73** marmite gives moral support
74--->'''Boss:''' Steve, I'm giving you a promotion! ''(Steve smiles)''\
75'''FlavorText: MARMITE'''\
76'''Boss:''' [[YankTheDogsChain Yep, now you're fired.]] ''(Steve frowns)''
77** marmite saves the day
78--->'''John:''' Honey, I'm ho-- '''''MARMITE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!''''' ''(Marmite is [[BedroomAdulteryScene in bed with John's wife]])''\
79'''Marmite:''' [[EmasculatedCuckold I'm sleeping with your wife, John.]]\
80'''John:''' Y-Yeah. [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight ...You are.]]
81[[/folder]]
82
83[[folder:[=asdfmovie3=]]]
84* "Hey man, look at my new dog." "Oh that's pretty cool-- AWWWWWW, THERE'S NO DOG THERE!" The two then just go "HURRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!" at one another.
85* Jim and the World.
86--> '''[[DrivenToSuicide Jim]]''': Goodbye, world...
87--> '''Earth:''' Okay, Jim, I'll see you around! Where you go-- '''''(BANG)''''' [[OhCrap Oh! Oh no! Oh, that's not what I thought he meant by that at all!]]
88* "Honey, why is the [[ManOnFire baby on fire?]]" "BUY ME MORE JEWELRY!!!"
89* "Pfft. Screw gravity! ''(floats into the air)''" The other guy does a wide smile.
90* Joey being a sandwich.
91--> '''Guy''': Joey, did you eat my sandwich?
92--> '''Joey''': I am your sandwich.
93--> ''(Joey crams himself down the other guy's throat)''
94* The guy punching the salad with the guy who was going to eat it screaming the whole time, letting out a BigNo, and then beating up the guy.
95* "There's something on your face." '''''(PUNCH)''''' "It was pain!!!"
96* "Now son, don't touch that cactus!"
97-->''[kid sticks himself on cactus]''
98-->"[[VoiceOfTheLegion You're dead]] [[DisproportionateRetribution to me.]]"
99* The return of the I Like Trains Kid.
100-->'''Die Potato Guy:''' Die, potato!
101-->'''Potato:''' [[BigNo NOOOOOOOO!]]
102-->'''I Like Trains Kid:''' I like trains.
103-->'''Die Potato Guy:''' [[RapidFireNo Oh no no no]], [[OhCrap wait!]]
104-->''[Die Potato Guy is hit by the train as the I Like Trains Kid smiles slightly]''
105[[/folder]]
106
107[[folder:[=asdfmovie4=]]]
108* "I'm gonna do an internet!" ''(presses key and grabs onto the keyboard as a rainbow comes out of the monitor)'' "''WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA!!!!!''"
109** "Well, I'm gonna do a book!" ''([[EpicFail presses book]])'' "...oh."
110* THE SCIENCE SHOW:
111-->'''Host:''' Piano!
112-->''([[PianoDrop WHAM!]])''
113-->'''Host:''' AAAAAAAH!!! Whose ''idea'' was this!?
114* A guy answers a phone call. The caller says "This is a robbery." Four dramatic musical stabs combined with zoomed-in shots of his face and he...[[AntiClimax puts the phone back on the cradle and leaves.]]
115* "Nice hat." "Thanks!" "[[SarcasmMode I was being sarcastic.]]" "[[ImpossibleTheft Well, I stole your face!]]" ''(Sarcastic Guy [[Main/FacePalm facepalms]] [[TheBlank his bare head]].)''
116* "Alien attack!" "'''THROW THE ''CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSEEEE!'''''" ''(the cheeses just bounce off the spaceship and a quiet "Yeah!" is heard in the background)''
117* The time traveller and the dinosaur.
118-->''[Time Traveller comes out of the time machine]''
119-->'''Time Traveller:''' It worked! My time machine wo-'''[[KilledMidSentence THUMP]]'''
120-->'''Dinosaur:''' [[ArtisticLicensePaleontology I am a Steg-o-saurus!]]
121* Two guys standing next to each other. One of the guys has an identical guy crawl out of his mouth and take his place. His friend simply replies "Oh" in a tone that implies that he understands this [[ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext slightly better than we do]].
122** Even better? Tom confirmed in [[https://youtu.be/Kfhdp5U_J-E "What is the best asdfmovie joke?"]] that this sketch is a BrickJoke. That's ''Joey'' crawling out of the guy's mouth.
123[[/folder]]
124
125[[folder:[=asdfmovie5=]]]
126* "Hey Bobby! Play that one about [[StaircaseTumble falling down the stairs!]]" "Sure thing, Johnny!"
127* A couple lying out on the grass together:
128-->'''Woman:''' It's so beautiful out here.\
129'''Man:''' Yeah, it's just me, you and the Moon.\
130'''Moon:''' [[MomentKiller HEY!]] [[ShipperOnDeck YOU TWO SHOULD KISS!!]]
131** The way the music just stops when the Moon starts talking really sells the moment.
132* The [[MadeOfExplodium Mine Turtle.]]
133-->'''Man:''' Hello, Mine Turtle.
134-->'''Mine Turtle:''' Hello!
135-->''[Another man steps on the Mine Turtle]''
136-->'''Man 2:''' Oh- ''[[[KilledMidSentence explodes]]]''
137** A little girl finds a Mine Turtle, who then jumps out of her hands and blows up the girl and her mother.
138** A guy refuses to step on the Mine Turtle... and then gets hit by [[BrickJoke the driving llama]] from ''asdfmovie2'' as the Mine Turtle says, "Hello!"
139* The guy who randomly walks off a cliff and then floats into the air with a very dull "Oh, ok."
140* "I wonder if my pony can fly." ''(the pony flies off)'' "[[DullSurprise Huh.]]"
141[[/folder]]
142
143[[folder:[=asdfmovie6=]]]
144* "Hello, and welcome to standing-up school!" ''(guy falls on his face)'' "And you fail."
145* The return of the [[ActionBomb Mine]] [[RidiculouslyCuteCritter Turtle]] with the barbershop quartet.
146-->'''Man 1:''' Hello...
147-->'''Man 2:''' Hello...
148-->'''Man 3:''' Hello...
149-->''(Man 4 steps on Mine Turtle)''
150-->'''Mine Turtle:''' [[FourIsDeath Hello!]]
151-->'''All Four Men''' ''(in harmony)'': [[OhCrap OH NO-]] ''[they all explode]''
152* The guy who upon hearing carrots are good for your eyesight, [[EpicFail sticks carrots]] [[LiteralMinded directly into his]] [[EyeScream eyes.]]
153-->'''Guy:''' You lied to me.
154* The puppy who has a knife.
155-->'''Woman:''' Ooh, a puppy!
156-->'''Man:''' Oh, careful, honey. He's got a knife.
157-->'''[[BadLiar Puppy]]:''' [[BlatantLies Oh, what? No- No, I don't.]]
158* "EVERYBODY DO THE FLOP!"
159** [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_751950&feature=iv&src_vid=tBJNYdHPcDE&v=zeBvOvq0TIk One of the fan videos does the flop in real life.]]
160[[/folder]]
161
162[[folder:[=asdfmovie7=]]]
163* The muffin segments from asdfmovie 7. It's [[CreepyChild the happy, childlike voice that sells it]]:
164-->'''Muffin:''' Hey, Joey! You wanna eat me?\
165'''Joey:''' No thanks, Mr. Muffin!\
166'''Muffin:''' [[DeathSeeker But I wanna die!]]
167** The second time he shows up:
168--->'''Fat man:''' Ugh, I'm so full!\
169'''Muffin:''' You have room for a muffin?\
170'''Fat man:''' No...\
171'''Muffin:''' ''[[StepfordSmiler (cheerfully)]]'' ''Why won't you let me die?!?!''
172* The police officer informing a boy's mother that her son was caught doing homework.
173-->'''Policeman:''' Ma'am, I'm afraid I caught your son doing... ''(EyedScreen)'' homework!
174-->'''Mother:''' BUT WHERE DID I GO WRONG?!
175* A guy asking another guy what he got for his birthday. His response?
176-->'''Guy 2:''' I got older!
177-->'''Guy 1:''' Hahahaha-
178-->'''Guy 2:''' ''(starts [[RapidAging rapidly aging]])''
179-->'''Guy 1:''' '''''AAAAAH-''''' [[MoodWhiplash That is weird]].
180* Saturn calling the Sun fat when it revolves around it, [[InsultBackfire which makes the Sun smile]]. Even better, the Sun was noticeably frowning before this point, implying that it needed the "compliment" to lift its spirits.
181* Do the Flop Guy [[BlackComedy shows up at the worst time.]]
182-->'''Man:''' Don't jump! You have so much to live for!
183-->'''Do The Flop Guy:''' EVERYBODY DO THE FLOP!
184* "[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext I am a very tall midget.]]"
185* The switch cord that turns the colour on. Not only does it make them all [[GoMadFromTheRevelation scream like crazy and panic]], but they're also all [[NakedPeopleAreFunny naked]].
186-->'''Muffin''' ''(jumping into frame)'' [[RuleOfThree Who wants a muffin?]]
187[[/folder]]
188
189[[folder:[=asdfmovie=] deleted scenes]]
190* The "Suddenly Pineapples!" RunningGag.
191-->'''Depressed Man:''' I am depressed.
192-->'''SUDDENLY PINEAPPLES!'''
193-->'''Depressed Man:''' This does ''not'' help.
194** The man with brain cancer.
195--->'''Doctor:''' Sir, I'm afraid you have brain cancer.
196--->'''SUDDENLY PINEAPPLES!'''
197--->''(Cancer Patient's Head is now a pineapple.)''
198--->'''Doctor:''' Well, the good news is you don't have brain cancer anymore.
199---> (''Pineapple falls off of the man's neck'')
200** Mine Turtle and pineapples.
201--->'''Man:''' Hello, Mine Turtle.
202--->'''Mine Turtle:''' Hello!
203--->'''SUDDENLY PINEAPPLES!'''
204--->''(A Pineapple lands on Mine Turtle and it explodes)''
205* [[Website/{{Superdickery}} Superguy is a dick:]]
206-->'''Man:''' (''Hanging off a cliff'') Save me, Superguy!\
207'''Superguy:''' [[LittleNo No.]]\
208(''The man falls off the cliff'')\
209'''Man:''' You're a diiiii[-iiiiick...-] (''SPLAT'')
210** Note that Superguy was mere ''inches'' away from the man, [[{{Jerkass}} yet was still too much of a lazy bastard to help him up]].
211* Larry the [[NeckSnap Necksnapper's]] [[StagingAnIntervention Intervention.]] It doesn't go well.
212-->'''Larry:''' What's going on, guys?
213-->'''Larry's Friend:''' Larry, this is an intervention. You need to stop breaking people's necks!
214-->'''Larry:''' ''(breaks a guy's neck)'' [[ObliviouslyEvil What are you talking about?]]
215-->'''Larry's Friend:''' Larry!
216-->'''Larry:''' [[DefensiveWhat What?]] ''(Larry's Friend's neck is in his hands)''
217-->'''Larry's Friend:''' ''Larry!'' ''(Larry breaks his neck)''
218* The ending of ''Deleted Scenes'':
219-->'''YKWG Guy:''' [[CallBack Hey, y'know who's gay?]]\
220''(cut to their wedding)''\
221'''YKWG Guy:''' Us.
222[[/folder]]
223
224[[folder:[=asdfmovie8=]]]
225* asdfmovie8 does not disappoint with its first joke.
226-->'''Pop Singer:''' ''♫ OOOH BABY! I LOVE YOU BABY! ♫''
227-->'''Woman:''' Stay away from my baby!
228-->'''Baby:''' ''(in a really deep voice)'' But Mother, I love him!
229** The fact that the baby is voiced by WebVideo/{{Markiplier}} with his baritone voice makes it even funnier.
230* Mr. Muffin returns:
231-->'''Man:''' Hey! What time is it?
232-->'''Muffin:''' IT'S MUFFIN TIME!
233-->'''Bystander:''' Uh, actually, it's 12:30.
234-->''[[{{Beat}} (awkward silence)]]''
235-->'''Muffin:''' '''''Somebody kill me!'''''
236* "Doctor, I'm afraid of [[{{Backstory}} backstories]]!" "When did this all start?" "Well-- ''AAAAAAAARRRGHHHH!!!!''"
237* The following:
238-->'''Girl 1:''' My boyfriend said I'm the most beautiful girl in the world!
239-->'''Girl 2:''' (''giggles'') My boyfriend said that, too!
240-->'''Girl 1:''' (''stabs Girl 2'') [[VoiceOfTheLegion THERE CAN]] [[ThereCanBeOnlyOne BE ONLY ONE.]]
241* "Would you like to see a magic trick?" ''(DramaticPause)'' "''(with ":D" face)'' [[AntiClimax No!]]"
242* "Aww, look at the little baby!" ''(Little Baby smiles and makes a gleeful noise)'' "And now look at the ''big'' baby!" ''({{beat}})'' "''Wah.''"
243* "And now... a cow pretending to be a man."
244-->'''Man''': Alan, are you a cow?
245-->'''Alan''': What? No!
246-->'''Cow''': Yeah, me neither. You guys want to go skateboards?
247** Later:
248-->'''Eddie''': You're leaving me?!
249-->'''Woman''': Sorry, Eddie. I've met a ''real'' man.
250-->'''Cow''': Hi, babe. Yes, I am real man. You want to go skateboards?
251** [[RuleOfThree And finally]]:
252-->'''Man''': The orphans! They're all dead! What kind of man would do this?
253-->''(the cow rides through the crime scene and kickflips)''
254-->'''Cow''': ''(whispering)'' Skateboards.
255* The clouds conversation.
256-->'''Guy 1:''' [[LargeHam Oh no! Giant flying SHEEP!]]
257-->'''Guy 2:''' Those are ''clouds.''
258-->'''Guy 1:''' [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOO!]]
259* A dog gets shocked on being told he's adopted.
260* Someone ding-dong ditching an ''elevator''.
261-->'''Old man''': ''(in the elevator)'' You darn kids get off my property!
262[[/folder]]
263
264[[folder:[=asdfmovie9=]]]
265* This instance of BlackComedyAnimalCruelty:
266-->'''Jimmy's Mom:''' Jimmy, take out the dog!
267-->'''Jimmy:''' ''(puts on CoolShades)'' Yes, mother. ''[pulls out a gun [[DeadlyEuphemism and shoots it.]]]''
268-->'''Jimmy's Mom:''' ...For a ''walk'', Jimmy!
269* Once again with the very dark humor, the singing man.
270-->'''Steven:''' ''♫ It's a lovely day to walk down the road, and if I ever stop singing [[MadeOfExplodium I will explode]]--♫''
271-->'''Bystander:''' Hey Steven!
272-->'''Steven:''' What have you done!? (''explodes'')
273* Dogs can talk, apparently.
274-->'''Woman:''' Aw, what's his name?
275-->'''Dog:''' His name is David.
276-->'''David:''' ''(suddenly with nametag)'' Hello, I am David.
277* The return of the I Like Trains Kid. He calls a guy, who then gets hit by a train after answering the phone.
278** Specifically, the train comes ''out of the phone.''
279* The pole vaulter getting impaled by a jouster right before they leap.
280** Especially since the crowd cheers ''louder'' when he gets impaled.
281* Another robbery joke occurs. This one is extra hilarious:
282-->'''Robber:''' You're gonna die!\
283'''Guy:''' We're ''all'' gonna die.\
284(''[[{{Beat}} awkward silence]]. Robber lowers his gun in contemplation'')
285** What's funnier is that it sounds like a conversation that would actually happen between their voice actors, Creator/DanAndPhil!
286* This spin on a classic "Dad joke":
287-->'''Girl''': Dad, I'm hungry.
288-->'''Dad''': Hi, Hungry. I'm Dad.
289-->'''Hungry:''' [[LampshadeHanging Why did you name me this way?]]
290* For some more dark humor:
291-->'''Guy 1:''' Wanna see an impression of my dad?\
292'''Guy 2:''' Sure!\
293'''Guy 1:''' (''[[DisappearedDad disappears]]'')\
294'''Guy 2:''' Ha ha ha! (''turns to the camera, [[MoodWhiplash suddenly looking serious]]'') [[LampshadeHanging Comedy.]]
295* Speaking of ParentalAbandonment:
296-->'''Woman:''' [[LetsJustBeFriends I... think we should just be friends.]] (''walks away'')\
297'''Man:''' [[BaitAndSwitch Mother...?]]
298* This:
299-->'''Woman:''' Honey, I'm pregnant! (''pan out to reveal that the person she's talking to is [[LipstickLesbian another woman]]'') ...Uh, [[HomosexualReproduction I]] [[ICanExplain can]] [[FridgeLogic explain!]]
300[[/folder]]
301
302[[folder:[=asdfmovie10=]]]
303* The first joke of the video.
304-->'''Man''': ''(calling out to a man on top of a building) No!! Don't jump!!'' ''(pulls out a video recorder)'' Okay, now jump!
305** Really, it's WebVideo/{{Jacksepticeye}}'s delivery that sells it.
306* An inversion of an old pun:
307--> '''Teacher:''' Hey kids, who's ready to draw?\
308'''Kids:''' ''(all shout "Me!")''\
309'''Teacher:''' Okay, then! ''(pulls out a gun)'' Draw!\
310''(The teacher and kids open fire)''
311* This:
312-->'''Guy''': Is this you?\
313''(camera pans to reveal he's just pointing at another guy off in the distance)''\
314'''Other Guy''': Yes!\
315'''Guy''': ''(waves)'' Hello!\
316'''Other Guy''': Hi!
317* "Beep, beep! I'm a sheep! I said beep, beep, I'm a sheep!"
318** "Meow, meow! I'm a cow! I said, meow, meow, I'm a--" "'''''[[BigNo NO!]]'''''"
319* "Hey, here comes that tra'''i'''nsgender guy." "I like trains."
320* "Cannonball!" ''(the man proceeds to continue flying across the top of the water, hitting and sinking a pirate ship)''
321* "I don't wanna be fat anymore." ''(sobbing, the man proceeds to [[DrivenToSuicide take out a gun]], pull back the hammer, [[AteHisGun puts it in his mouth]] and [[VisualPun bites off the barrel]])''
322[[/folder]]
323
324[[folder:[=asdfmovie11=]]]
325* The first joke:
326-->'''Girl''': I want an ice cream!\
327'''Dad''': What's the magic word?\
328'''Girl''': [[SdrawkcabSpeech sucimaerceci suciemem!]] [[note]] memicus icecreamicus! [[/note]] ''(Dad turns into an ice cream cone, which she then proceeds to lick nonchalantly)''
329* "I'm feeling carsick!" ''(pukes up a whole car)''
330* "OH NO! A GIANT BEE!" (''pan out to reveal [[BaitAndSwitch a giant letter "B"]] that the man is pointing at...right before [[DoubleSubversion a giant bee shows up and eats him]]'')
331* "Aww, come on, boys don't cry!" The crying boy proceeds to [[ExactWords spontaneously grow breasts]].
332* The only way to avoid getting a headache from [[LogicBomb a paradox]] is to make it funny.
333-->"Hey, uh, your girlfriend... ''[[CasanovaWannabe (inquisitively)]]'' She single?"
334* More dark comedy:
335-->'''Doctor:''' I'm afraid you have one year to live.\
336'''Patient:''' Hahaha! Oh yeah? ''(takes out a gun and shoots himself)''
337* Let's face it, we weren't expecting any immature humor to be in this video:
338-->'''Guy:''' I am going to open this door! ''(opens the door, which reveals a [[ToiletHumor giant butt]] that proceeds to'' fart his face off'')''
339** This leads to a three-part RunningGag, following with a woman:
340-->'''Woman:''' I.. I love you, but...\
341''(the butt proceeds to fart her face off)''
342** [[RuleOfThree And finally]]:
343--> '''Mom:''' Happy 10th birthday!\
344'''Kid:''' But... But..... BUT.... [[BaitAndSwitchComment This isn't what I wanted]].\
345''(the mom's head turns into the butt, which farts the kid's face off)''
346* Abuse of FakeWizardry at its finest.
347-->'''Magician:''' What's that behind your ear? ''(gasp)'' It's a ''hearing aid''!\
348'''Girl:''' ''[[{{Beat}} (beat)]]'' What?!
349* "Don't worry! I'm a doctor... of psychology!" Cut to him doing the FreudianCouch routine with the other guy's corpse, as shown above.
350-->'''Psychology Doctor:''' So, how does that make you feel?
351** The fact that the doctor is voiced by WebAnimation/{{TheOdd1sOut}} makes this even better.
352* "And now, the award for best sarcasm goes to... this guy."
353-->'''Best Sarcasm Award Winner:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh, wow! Thank you]] ''[[SarcasmMode sooo]]'' [[SarcasmMode much!]]
354[[/folder]]
355
356[[folder:[=adsfmovie12=]]]
357* The first joke:
358-->'''[[WebVideo/{{Caddicarus}} Father]]:''' Keep pushing! Puuush!\
359(''camera pans back to show the mother pushing before a popping sound is heard and the doctor pops up'')\
360'''Doctor:''' Congratulations! We got it back in! (''parents smile in joy'')
361* The Japanese text under the logo reads, in Japanese, "[[ShapedLikeItself Japanese text]]".
362** The intro being an ''anime opening'' by itself is a gutbuster, complete with most of the characters being anthropomorphised versions of the animal-based characters. Oh, and the Beep Beep Sheep has a serious case of AmbiguousGender and the Skateboard Cow is a ''girl''.[[note]]Which is hilariously more accurate for the latter, as a male cow is a ''bull''.[[/note]]
363** [=LilDeuceDeuce=] adds to the hilarity with a full version of the song [[https://youtu.be/TxfJbu-z_0Q with actual lyrics]]...[[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin that when translated from Japanese are mostly just the already existing character lines.]]
364* "I’m on my way, I’m on my way, I’m on my way to [[ImAHumanitarian eat your]] [[LyricalDissonance skin]]!" ''(cue dramatic zoom-in on his face)''
365* The subverted version of [[AbusiveParents abusive parents]].
366-->'''Boy''': Dad, I'm gay!
367-->'''Dad''': [[IHaveNoSon I have no son!]]
368-->'''Boy''': ''(gasp)'' This isn't my house!
369* "A, B, C, D, E, F, gun!" (''gun shoots teacher'')
370* (''gasp'') [[MajorInjuryUnderreaction A knife! My favorite!]]"
371* The fight between a boss and an employee ending with the boss being a frog wife and the employee being a wife. Made even funnier by the fact it's voiced by ''WebAnimation/SuctionCupMan!''
372--> '''Boss''': YOU'RE ''FIRED!''\
373'''Employee''': YOU CAN'T FIRE ME, I ''QUIT!''\
374'''Boss''': YOU CAN'T QUIT, ''I'' QUIT!\
375'''Employee''': YOU CAN'T QUIT, YOU'RE A ''FROG!''\
376'''Boss''': ''(now a frog)'' YOU CAN'T FROG ME, YOU'RE MY ''WIFE!''\
377'''Employee:''' ''(now a wife)'' I'M NOT YOUR WIFE, YOU'RE ''MY'' WIFE!\
378'''Boss''': ''(now a frog wife)'' Oh hey honey, how was work?\
379'''Employee''': Pretty good, but I quit my job.\
380'''Boss''': YOU CAN'T QUIT YOUR JOB, YOU'RE ''FIRED!''\
381'''Employee''': '''''AHHHHHHHHH!!!'''''
382* "[[TemptingFate I sure hope I don't get hit by a car!]]" Cue the guy being punched out by a car with a huge, muscular arm.
383-->'''Car:''' That's for sleeping with my wife!
384* "Oh no, a gunman!"
385--> '''Man with ''a gun for a head'' :''' ''(pulls out a knife)'' Ohoho, I'm gonna stab ya!
386* A new twist on the phrase "Hay is for horses."
387--> '''Guy:''' Hey!\
388''(guy gets trampled by a horse)''\
389'''Horse:''' Where?!
390* A cowboy in a duel with a toaster. The toaster won.
391* One guy finds a magic lamp which he uses to try and get more respect. Unfortunately for him, not even the genie respects him.
392--> '''Loser:''' I wish people would be nice to me.\
393'''Genie:''' Your wish is... [[YankTheDogsChain stupid]]. ''([[DopeSlap slap]])''\
394[[/folder]]
395
396[[folder:asdfmovie12: deleted scenes]]
397* "Hey, can you hold my baby?" ''(SQUISH)'' "No, apparently not."
398* A policeman asks his boss what they're planning to do about a crew of gangsters, and the boss replies that they have a man on the inside. The "man" is, of course, the Skateboarding Cow.
399--> '''Cow:''' Hello. Yes, I am real man. I love to do the crime.
400* Refined from ''asdfmovie11'':
401--> '''Woman:''' I'm not racist, but...\
402'''Butt:''' Okay.
403* The guy holding an umbrella in a shower.
404-->"My brain is big and smart."
405* An asdf take on an [[{{Duck}} age-old joke]]:
406--> '''Guy:''' Oh god, DUCK!\
407'''Duck:''' Oh god, STEVE!\
408'''Steve:''' How've you been, man?\
409'''Duck:''' ''(quack)''
410[[/folder]]
411
412[[folder:[=asdfmovie13=]]]
413* The video starts off with a slap:
414--> '''Guy 1:''' High five-- (''high five'') --HUNDRED!\
415'''Guy 2:''' [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]] (''cue multiple slaps as the scene cuts to the logo'')
416* asdfmovie13 doesn't let anybody prepare fast enough for [[GoryDiscretionShot Gory Discretion Shots]].
417--> '''Guy:''' ''(singing)'' Hey, Mr. Goose! Whatcha doing with that noose? ''[[SoundOnlyDeath (off-screen neck-cracking sound)]]''
418* A police officer storms a guys house, looking for a confession.
419-->'''Cop:''' Come out with your hands up!
420-->'''Guy:''' ''(cheerfully raises his hands)'' I'm gay!
421** The mental image of [[WebVideo/AmazingPhil Phil Lester]] cheerfully reciting that line makes it a hundred times funnier.
422* Don't worry, the joke isn't as gross as the setup makes you think:
423-->'''Guy 1:''' Hey, uh... about your new girlfriend?\
424'''Guy 2:''' ''(standing next to [[BestialityIsDepraved a horse]])'' What about her?\
425'''Guy 1:''' She's, uh... [[BaitAndSwitch punching my horse.]]\
426'''Girlfriend:''' ''(standing behind the horse repeatedly punching it in the flank)'' YOU'VE GOT TOO MANY LEGS!
427* A kid asking where babies come from:
428-->'''Mom:''' Baby gun!
429-->'''Kid:''' What?
430-->''(the mom fires said gun and a baby shoots out and embeds itself in the kid's face)''
431* Legends say he's still flying...
432--> ''(a kid is doing kick-ups with a ball while a guy watches)''\
433'''Father:''' That's my boy.\
434''(the ball gets kicked into the sky)''\
435'''Father:''' No, my boy!\
436'''Ball:''' FATHER, HELP!
437* It's really the voice that sells this joke.
438-->'''Guy:''' What's foh dinnah?!\
439''(man pulls out a Tommy gun)''\
440'''Guy:''' Maih favorite! ''(bullets fired in his mouth)'' '''''AMNIMNIMNIMNIMNIMNIMNIM-'''''
441* "LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!"
442-->'''Girl:''' This a slumber party.\
443'''Flopguy:''' '''YEEEAHHH-''' ''(falls asleep)''
444* This:
445-->'''Woman''': Aww, what kind of dog is he?
446-->'''Man''': He's French.
447-->'''Dog''': ''(dressed like a stereotypical French guy, with the accent)'' Ouaf.
448* How to stop a murder:
449--> '''Guy 1''': Are you ready to DIE?\
450'''Guy 2''': No.\
451'''Guy 1''': (''walking away'') Then, I'll come back LATER!
452* Possibly the cruelest form of BlackComedy the series has resorted to:
453--> '''Girl:''' When I grow up, I want to be a doctor! Just like you!\
454'''Doctor:''' N'aww! ''[[SmashCut (girl is on deathbed)]]'' ...[[WhamLine You're not gonna grow up]].
455** In close second is this joke taken straight from #CONTENT:
456---> '''Guy:''' ''(doing a tacky dance)'' Come on, everybody! Do the whale dance!\
457''(A whale suddenly falls on the man and starts having death throes)''
458* The final joke is the longest CallBack in the series, all the way back to ''the very first joke ever:''
459-->''(kid giggles and father does the "pinch your thumb in front of their face" trick)''
460-->'''Father:''' Got your nose!
461-->'''Kid:''' ''(in [[VocalDissonance an oddly mature voice]])'' [[LampshadeHanging What's a]] [[TheNoseless nose?]]
462-->'''Father:''' I... don't know...
463[[/folder]]
464
465[[folder:[=asdfmovie14=]]]
466* Don't forget the LargeHam to go.
467-->'''Chef:''' Ey, somebody order a large-a pizza?!\
468'''Man:''' ''I'' did. ''(crushed by a giant pizza)''\
469'''Chef:''' ''(pizza is about as big as him)'' Oh, no! I drop-a the pizza on a little man!
470* Skimping out on Don Taco is a very bad idea.
471--> '''Guy 1:''' It's Taco Tuesday.\
472'''Guy 2:''' [[OhNoNotAgain Not again!]]\
473'''Giant Taco:''' ''(bursts through wall)'' WHERE'S MY MONEY?!
474* We've heard of foreplay, but this is ridiculous.
475-->'''[[WebVideo/AmiYamato Girl:]]''' ''(covers guy's eyes)'' Guess ''whoooooooose'' [[BaitAndSwitchComment arms I stole]]?
476* There's literally no way to get tired of being random at this point.
477-->'''Guy:''' ''[[TeleFrag (phases through ground)]]'' You want some spaghetti?
478* Possibly the most ridiculous version of a BaitAndSwitchComment.
479-->'''Mother:''' Look, honey!\
480''(cut to a walking baby)''\
481'''Mother:''' The baby is taking his first ''(in an [[EvilSoundsDeep incredibly deep voice]])'' '''[[EnfantTerrible life]]'''.\
482''(the baby proceeds to [[{{Patricide}} break his father's neck]])''
483* The potential odor must be too much for one life to take.
484-->''♪Broccoli Sockoli,''\
485''what's he doing today?♪''\
486[[WhamLine He's dead.]] ''[[{{Beat}} (beat)]]''\
487'''[[TheEnd THE END]]'''
488* A spin on an old schoolyard taunt:
489-->'''Guy:''' Hey, you four eyed freak!\
490'''Guy with glasses:''' Aw... ''(to [[ExactWords an actual four-eyed freak]])'' Don't listen to him.\
491'''Freak:''' ''(screeches)''
492* A Karen joke, asdfmovie-style.
493-->''' British Accent Karen:''' ''(to a chair)'' I want to speak to your manager!\
494''(another chair slides up)''\
495'''Chair 2:''' ''(thick Scottish accent)'' What seems to be the problem here?
496* His crime was wasting the court's time.
497-->'''Judge:''' I find you guilty...\
498'''Defendant:''' ''(frowns)''\
499'''Judge:''' ...of nothing!\
500'''Defendant:''' ''(smiles)''\
501'''Judge:''' [[DisproportionateRetribution The sentence is death.]]\
502''(the defendant immediately drops dead)''
503** This leads to a three part RunningGag. First at a fast food place...
504--->'''Customer''': Yeah, can I get, uh... death?\
505'''Cashier''': [[FlatWhat What?]]\
506''(the customer drops dead, with the cashier following moments later)''
507** ...And a second with a crowd of {{Death Seeker}}s.
508--->'''Protester''': What do we want?!\
509'''Crowd''': '''DEATH!'''\
510'''Protester''': When do we want it?!\
511''(the protester and the crowd drop dead)''\
512'''Bystander''': Hey, guys! Sorry I'm la- ''(dies)''
513* Egg.
514-->'''Guy 2:''' Stop turning people into--!\
515'''Guy 1:''' Egg.\
516''(Guy 2 is now an egg)''
517* This restaurant oughta be checking the kitchen for any [[{{Pun}} street rats]].
518-->'''Guy 1:''' Ey. ''(shot of sandwich)'' Get outta moi sandwich!\
519'''Guy 2:''' ''(lifts bread)'' [[BluntNo No.]] ''(lowers bread)''
520* This [[PerfectlyCromulentWord skutch]] says it all.
521-->'''Teacher:''' Here's the results of your spelling test. ''("F" on paper)''\
522'''Student:''' Wow! ''[[{{Beat}} (beat)]]'' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint An A!]]
523* WebAnimation/SuctionCupMan oughta be renamed to [[CantUnhearIt Cup Man]].
524-->'''Bargoer:''' Make me a drink! ''[[ExactWords (bartender claps him into a glass of alcohol)]]'' Yeah!
525* Proof that people from the Bronx have NoIndoorVoice.
526-->'''Husband:''' ''Where's my wife?!'' Oh, ''[[AnswerCut there's]]'' my wife! ''Where's my keys?!'' Oh, ''[[OffscreenInertia there's]]'' my keys. ''(wife looks more [[AsideGlance confused]]) Okay, I'm off to woik! (kisses wife) Where's the '''DOOOOOR?!''' (wife [[DrearyHalfLiddedEyes scowls]])''
527* This is one heck of a [[StealthPun macabre]] joke.
528-->'''Girl:''' Mom... I'm scared.\
529'''Mom:''' Aw, honey! Ghosts aren't real!\
530'''Girl:''' ''[[IResembleThatRemark (is a ghost)]]'' Oh. [[CuteGhostGirl ...Okay.]] ''[[PuffOfLogic (solemnly retreats into her grave)]]''
531* "A-''ha!'' [[CaptainObvious ...That's how you open a door.]]"
532* Like the ''Muffin Time'' announcement, the ''VideoGame/MonsterLegends'' promo makes what could have been bland and boring into a series of genuinely funny gags.
533** First of all, Tom introduces what ''Monster Legends'' is, a mobile game.
534--->'''Guy:''' ''(holding a corded rotary phone)'' Can I play it on ''this'' phone?\
535'''Tom:''' No.\
536'''Guy:''' Aw. ''(hangs up the phone)''\
537'''Mine Turtle:''' ''(is now the base of the phone)'' Hello! ''(boom)''
538** Next, touting the features of the game, including [[PlayerVersusPlayer PvP]] multiplayer.
539--->'''Kid:''' Can I play with ''my'' friends?\
540'''Mother:''' Aww... you don't have any friends. ''(is suddenly in sunglasses and holding a skateboard)'' NERD! ''(skates away to the intro of the ''Mine Turtle'' song)''
541** Tom seems to have gone out of his way to make sure that the Mine Turtle is as adorable in ''Monster Legends'' as it is in ''asdfmovie''.
542--->'''Tom:''' I mean, just look at him. I love you.
543** And finally, after detailing the limited-time nature of the promo...
544--->'''Tom:''' ''(waves off ML!Mine Turtle)'' Alright, see ya'! ''(steps on asdf!Mine Turtle)'' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck I DESERVE THIS.]] ''(explodes)''\
545'''Tombstone:''' R.I.P [=TomSka=] [[SelfDeprecation ‘BELOVED SELLOUT’]]
546[[/folder]]
547
548[[folder:fansdfmovie]]
549
550* A revelation starts off the set:
551-->'''Guy 1:''' I'm trans...\
552'''Guy 2:''' Cool!\
553'''Guy 1:''' ...parent! ''(fades away)''\
554'''Guy 2:''' [[FlatWhat What.]]
555* Who brings a [[{{Metaphorgotten}} sword to an axe fight]]?
556-->'''Guy 1:''' Is that a ''knife''?! ''(gets shot in the head)''\
557'''Guy 2:''' ''(holding a gun; [[DissonantSerenity smiling]])'' [[AnswerCut No!]]
558* Get it while it's still [[{{Pun}} hot]]!
559-->'''Guy:''' ''(smoke alarm blares; gasps)'' My fire is done! ''[[ExtremeOmnivore (eats fire)]]''
560* Not like it's the first time...
561-->'''Guy 1:''' ''(waves)'' Hey!\
562'''Guy 2:''' Hi!\
563'''Guy 1:''' ''[[{{Beat}} (beat)]]'' See? Not ''all'' these skits [[TemptingFate have to end in violence!]] ''(gets shot)''\
564'''Tom:''' ''(holding gun)'' [[CreatorCameo They do.]]
565* Meta: An [[StylisticSuck MS Paint comic]] was submitted that didn't make it in, [[SoBadItsGood but made Tom burst out in laughter]]:
566-->'''Guy:''' look a ball\
567'''Ball:''' bal man
568** Subtle example, but there's a cut between the two line readings, and Tom is audibly about to crack up when reading "bal man", implying he found it so funny he needed more than one take to read it.
569[[/folder]]
570
571[[folder:Other Videos]]
572* ''The Muffin Song'' is mostly just remixes and mashups of old jokes. And some of these are ''hilarious''.
573** The potato offers the guy trying to kill him a pie-flavoured pie. Three increasingly smaller pies pop out. The smallest pie suddenly pulls out a gun. The guy's [[OhCrap reaction]] is priceless.
574** "I'm gonna do a book!" He's sensually stroking the book with a LuminescentBlush and love hearts. The book in question is titled "PLEASE STOP" and has a picture of a guy frowning.
575** "I met a real man." The "real man" is ''the sun with a human body.''
576** When Tom joins in on the Muffin's dancing, he ''dabs''.
577** At the end of the video, Tom and the Muffin see a figure on the hill backed by the sun. Seconds later, it shows that figure is ''the Beep Beep Sheep'', trying to look cool. They are ''less than impressed''.
578* The ''I Like Trains'' song:
579** The "I Like Trains" kid causing trains to randomly appear and kill people, leaving rainbow trails behind them, just by saying "I like trains."
580** The kid's parents are concerned because he can only say "I like trains" and take him to a doctor, who prescribes Ritalin for him. The "perfect dose" is shown on a poster with a guy swallowing a ton of pills and the text "Take THIS Many: 9,401,306". Also, as a FreezeFrameBonus, Mr. Muffin appears on a chair in the waiting room.
581** The kid getting married, sporting a cheeky smile as he's about to say his wedding vows...right before he says, "I like trains," and causes a train to explode through the wall of the church, flattening his bride. And more trains explode out of the wedding cake and through the stained-glass windows!
582** The kid's terrible grades on his report card:
583--->Math - F\
584English - F\
585Breeding - C\
586Blinking - F\
587Breathing - F\
588Potatoes - D\
589Staring at the sun - F\
590Grapefruit - F
591* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ5hSInV9mg IT'S MUFFIN TIME]], possibly one of the most hilarious ways to announce a Kickstarter project ever, and perfectly in tone with the series.
592** You know it's gonna be good when it opens like this:
593--->'''Doctor:''' Hey, what time is it?\
594'''Muffin:''' IT'S MUFFIN TIME!\
595'''Doctor:''' Hahah!\
596''(SmashCut to the doctor [[MoodWhiplash standing over a corpse with a flatline sound playing in the background]])''\
597'''Doctor:''' Time of death: muffin time.\
598''({{Beat}})''\
599'''Muffin:''' [[FlatWhat Wait, what?]]
600** "''TabletopGame/MuffinTime'' is a card game. It's kind of like a sexy horse, except it's a bit shorter, [[{{Metaphorgotten}} it's perfectly square, and it's a card game]]."
601** This hilarious bit of BlackComedy:
602--->'''Announcer:''' You win the game if you have exactly ten cards in your hand at the start of your turn. Simple, right?\
603'''Clown:''' Yeah.\
604'''Announcer:''' WRONG!\
605'''Clown:''' Aw, man. I never get anything right.\
606''([[DriventoSuicide makes a gun out of balloons and points it at his head]])''\
607'''[[BrattyHalfPint Kid]]:''' [[MoodWhiplash I wanted a giraffe!]]
608** The demonstration of trap cards:
609--->'''Guy 1:''' Ooh, what's this? ''(card he's holding pulls out a gun and shoots him)''\
610'''Guy 2:''' Hey, what's the time? ''(wristwatch pulls out a gun and shoots him)''\
611'''Guy 3:''' Here, catch! ''(throws a ball which another guy catches)\
612({{Beat}})\
613(Guy gets shot by someone [[BehindTheBlack offscreen]])''
614** This demonstration of a counter card:
615--->'''Mugger:''' Gimme your hand!\
616'''Guy:''' [[NoYou No, give me]] ''[[NoYou your]]'' [[NoYou hand]]! ''(pulls out a gun)''\
617'''Mugger:''' ''(gasps)''\
618'''Guy:''' In ''marriage''! ''(the gun has suddenly turned into a ring)''\
619'''Mugger:''' What?\
620''(cut to the wedding, where the mugger is still looking freaked out)''
621** The other demonstration is also funny:
622---> '''Potato:''' YouFool Nothing can get past me! [[TemptingFate Nothing except a dog with a knife...]]\
623'''Dog With A Knife:''' Hello, I'm a dog with a knife!\
624'''Potato:''' ''(screams)''
625** "And let's not even mention those stretch goals and Kickstarter exclusives! '''({{Beat}})''' ''...They know what they've done.''"
626--->'''Muffled screaming:''' HELP ME!
627** "And now a word from our publisher, Big Potato." '''(cut to a giant potato rampaging through a burning city)'''
628--->'''Big Potato:''' I'M A PROFESSIONAL GAME PUBLISHER!
629* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGrZH05EX6o REAL MAN]] is mostly Awesome, but a stand-out gag is the titular cow's skateboard smacking them in the face after the first and last chorus.
630* [[https://youtu.be/qXLlUSAbei8 Smash or Pass: asdfmovie]] is every bit as [[CringeComedy awkward]] as one would expect, but what ''really'' takes the cake is Tom [[MemeAcknowledgment acknowledging]] the [[https://youtu.be/cjTugPleGow parody animation]] of "Beep Beep I'm a Sheep" from [[RuleThirtyFour minus8]]. ...And he ''still'' passes, saying [[EveryoneHasStandards it's not right]].
631[[/folder]]

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