Line #55 Funny/AKnightsTaleAsInquisitor


1	!!Chapter 4:
2	* Arturia's reaction to Cassandra's RousingSpeech from canon as she declares the Inquisition's independence from [[TheChurch the Chantry]] in front of Chancellor Roderick? [[PowerIsSexy How attractive her passion is]]...[[StupidSexyFriend and then denying to herself that there is anything more than that.]]
3	* The end reveals that {{Excalibur}} [[LivingWeapon is now alive thanks to the Mark]]..but with the [[CloudCuckoolander personality]] [[TalkingWeapon of the]] Manga/SoulEater incarnation. Everyone who is familiar with that version [[HilarityEnsues knows what's to come.]]
4
5	!!Chapter 5:
6	* What's the first thing Arturia does when met with the new development of her sword being given life? ''Stuff inside a barrel and then dangle it out of the nearest window.''
7	--> '''Excalibur''': Wait wait wait! [[CassandraTruth I am telling you the truth!]] Honestly girl, [[YoureInsane have your senses lost you when you were summoned here?!]] \
8	'''Arturia''' ''([[DissonantSerenity with no apparent facial expression]])'': Perhaps. I am, after all, [[HearingVoices hearing from 'my sword']] and currently in the illusion of speaking to it. [[HeroicRROD I must still be very weary from using the Mark to stop the Breach's expansion...]]
9	* When having to deal with the threat of the Inquisition being removed from [[HomeBase Haven]] because of the Marquis, Josephine, [[GuileHero with some quick thinking]] manages to get him to backdown by proposing a duel with [[MasterSwordsman Arturia]] to decide what happens, with the latter [[HonorBeforeReason agreeing wholeheartedly]] and begins discussing with the former [[LetsFightLikeGentlemen about how will things go down in this duel]], which the Marquis practically ''[[OhCrap shitting]]'' himself at the very idea of fighting [[LivingLegend the Hearld of Andraste]] and decides it'd be best [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere to leave things as is]]. And then ''this'' happens:
10	--> '''Josephine''': I must say, you were rather good. [[MasterActor I could not have given a more convincing mask to scare him off like that.]]\
11	'''Arturia''': [[IWasJustJoking ...You were bluffing.]]\
12	'''Josephine''': [[MyGodYouAreSerious ...You were not?]]
13	** After the above exchange induces an IHaveNothingToSayToThat, Arturia decides ''she'' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere needs to go]] before things get anymore embarrassing on her part!
14	* [[TheStoic Arturia]] and [[ShellShockedVeteran Cullen]] talk for the first time. A paused interruption occurs at its finest at the beginning of their conversation.
15	* After having a talk with Arturia that gives him [[StoicWoobie alot of insight to who she is]], [[TheNicknamer Varric]] finally decides on what to call the King of Knights: ''[[EdibleThemeNaming Pancakes]]''.
16
17	!!Chapter 7:
18	* The opens with Excalibur [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kuhc8RROw10 sing his]] SignatureSong and his wielder's [[SilenceYouFool subsequent reaction.]] [[VitriolicBestBuds The following conversation is equally as priceless]]:
19	--> '''Excalibur''': And why on earth would I do that? [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Using harmony through vocalization is the best way to wake yourself up early in the day!]] And I should know since I am, after all, [[OlderIsBetter far more ancient than most could comprehend.]]\
20	'''Arturia''': Really now? But tell me this [[SarcasmMode o-so ancient one]]: have you even considered your ritual of waking yourself [[DidntThinkThisThrough could have attracted any attention?]] For all you know, people could be coming right towards the source of that noise! Looking for ''you''!\
21	'''Excalibur''': [[ArmorPiercingQuestion You mean like how the others could be looking for you?]]\
22	'''Arturia''': [[JerkassHasAPoint ...I detest how accurate your point is.]]\
23	'''Excalibur''': [[UnsportsmanlikeGloating Ha! Victory]] [[ThirdPersonPerson for Excalibur!]]\
24	''Cue CrossPoppingVeins''
25	* Apparently, Varric got an front row seat to the dear Herald's attempts at ''[[SociallyAwkwardHero socializing]]''...which includes the weather (now including the giant HellGate in the sky), then goes on an [[CharacterFilibuster an extremely detailed time talking]] about armor and swords, after which she talks about how much of a nuisance [[BreadEggsMilkSquick horse shit is]], followed by talking about [[CallBack not liking an ocean]]...despite said waters [[ComicallyMissingThePoint being far away from the Hinterlands.]] Bonus points for the poor man subject to this "conversation" doing everything he can to not fuck up with anything he says.
26	* Why did Arturia never bother cooking in her era despite [[SupremeChef displaying more than sufficient skills?]] [[BigEater She HATES sharing food.]] She even has thoughts of invoking the ''[[DisproportionateRetribution death penalty]]'' for those who take her food!
27
28	!!Chapter 8:
29	* What was Arturia's to the the whole [[MakingLoveInAllTheWrongPlaces Ritts situation?]] Why, [[YouDidntSeeThat pretend she didn't see that]] and [[BenevolentBoss let Ritts continue to be with the Inquisition]] of course! [[PragmaticHero Why should she let such talent go to waste over a little incident?]]
30	--> '''Arturia''': I find it fascinating that this actually happened, how in the midst of the war, such, er...[[InsistentTerminology ''bond'']], [[SureLetsGoWithThat yes, we shall be going with that]], could actually be forged.
31	* Excalibur has decided to take it upon himself to organize Arturia's food diet...even though [[TalkingWeapon he's just an sword]] [[FridgeLogic and doesn't eat at all.]] Even better, is Arturia's reaction to when he states his intention to [[BerserkButton not have any gravy to go with her roasted turkey.]]
32	--> '''Arturia''': [[SeriousBusiness What madness has consumed you to ever put such blasphemy in my mind?!]]
33
34	!!Chapter 9:
35	* At the end of their first training lesson, Solas sends Arturia to [[DrJerk Aden]] to begin learning how alchemy works in order to get a better grasp on how the inner workings of magic works. However, he warns her ''not'' get herself [[StuffBlowingUp blown up]] because of [[CuriosityIsACrapshoot simple curiosity.]]
36	--> '''Solas''': ''Then'' where exactly would all [[ItsAllAboutMe my own effort have gone to?]]\
37	'''Arturia''' ''(internally)'': ...[[SophisticatedAsHell Arse.]]
38
39	!!Chapter 10:
40	* What is Excalibur's reaction towards witnessing [[CityOfGold Val Royeaux]] for the first time? SeenItAll.
41	* Excalibur giving an EvilLaugh after witnessing one of the Templars punch out [[WouldHitAGirl Revered Mother Hevara.]]
42	* Sera meets Arturia for the first time, and what's the [[EstablishingCharacterMoment very first thing she has to say to the latter?]]
43	--> '''Sera''': [[PintsizedPowerhouse You're a tiny thing, aren't you?]]
44	** Even better, is that ''Solas'' [[OldMaster of all people]] [[NotSoAboveItAll has to suppress a laugh at that line]].
45	---> '''Varric''': Chuckles! [[LampshadeHanging I'm surprised at you!]]\
46	'''Solas''': [[BlatantLies I've no idea what you're referring to.]]
47	** And as all of this happening, Arturia is [[ImStandingRightHere standing there]] looking PISSED as all hell!
48	* Like in canon, the [[SmallNameBigEgo Marquis Alphonse]] talks complete [[{{Pun}} horse shit]] about the Inquisition, and Arturia, [[HonorBeforeReason being who she is]] accepts his challenge. The end result? A CurbStompBattle so one-sided that it LITERALLY [[HumiliationConga leaves the Marquis pants-less!]] And who says our dear Sir Pendragon doesn't have [[TheComicallySerious a sense of humor]]?
49
50	!!Chapter 11:
51	* Josephine throwing a big bag full of letters at Arturia all written for her after she returns from [[WhamEpisode Val Royeaux]], causing her to fall flat onto the floor...and going through the rest of that meeting from that position.
52	* Arturia's first conversation with Sera at Haven goes ends with Sera BlowingARaspberry before mocking Arturia's [[SpockSpeak way of talking to others]], secretly making plans to [[DefusingTheTykeBomb help make Arturia loosen up]], and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking calling her]] [[AffectionateNickname "Turi"]] [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking before leaving.]]
53	** After that last part, Arturia very much decides she can do without [[TemptingFate people nicknaming her.]]
54	---> '''Varric''' ''([[SneezeCut after sneezing and causing his papers to scatter]])'': Well isn't this just great?! [[GenreSavvy This is what happens when someone talks about me behind back!]]
55
56	!!Chapter 12:
57	* Excalibur has an list of demands for renovations on [[HomeBase Haven]]...[[LongList which stands at about one-thousand]]. When he begins to recite [[MotorMouth each and every one of them]], Arturia chooses to JustIgnoreIt.
58	* [[BoomerangBigot Sera's reaction]] towards [[{{Omniglot}} Arturia]] when she speaks Elvish:
59	--> '''Sera:''' Ugh! No! Not you too! Doesn't anyone know what words are? Hey, [[RunningGag short stuff!]] How long are you gonna keep speaking elfy with baldie over there?\
60	'''Arturia:''' I'm not quite sure. It depends actually: [[ArmorPiercingQuestion how long are]] ''[[ArmorPiercingQuestion you]]'' [[ArmorPiercingQuestion going keep up with the short jokes at my expense?]]\
61	''{{Beat}}''\
62	'''Aruria:''' That's what I ''thought''.
63
64	!!Chapter 13:
65	* Josephine and Vivienne's first talk with each other, which is [[PassiveAggressiveKombat filled with veiled insults and honeyed words.]]
66	** And then there's Cullen's [[OhCrap reaction]] when Josephine leaves him with Vivienne:
67	---> '''Cullen''' ''(internally)'': Maker help me...
68
69	!!Chapter 14:
70	* After the siege of the fortress and while giving orders for how to proceed with clean up, Arturia warns Harding to tell the soldiers to be careful of the after effects of traps Sera had set. Cue said elf cartwheeling while commenting, "The fun's in the surprises!"
71	* During an meaningful and introspective conversation about Arturia and her past between the former and Cassandra, Sera interrupts in order to reveal that she's managed to convince the Inquisition soldiers to let her up the flags of the organization before dragging Arturia with her to do so.
72	--> '''Sera:''' I need someone as small as you to stand on my hands to put up the flag on the pole! It's gonna be fun and ''really'' hilarious!
73
74	!!Chapter 16:
75	* Arturia accidentally blowing up smoke in the apothecary due to mixing together incompatible ingredients
76	--> '''Sera:''' O-Okay! So...now we know! That we definitely DON'T mix the powder with that fire tonic...and add in a little pinch of pepper [[ForScience just to see what happens.]] Good effort though, Turi!
77	* There's also this following conversation, which caused Arturia's OhCrap face to grow more and more as it goes on:
78	--> '''Aden:''' You know, maybe we should focus on reading through the recipes instead, do some minor assignments, pick out and name which ingredient is which, and if you so happen to make another ''minuscule'' mistake Herald, then a repercussion is in order.\
79	'''Sera:''' Oh? Now that's really interesting! What do we give? Sitting on a block of butter? Feet inside a bucket of ice?" A sudden loud gasp at the most enrapturing idea. ''Strip teases?'' Wait, wait even better! Running across Haven in nothing but your breeches!\
80	'''Aden:''' I wouldn't go that far, though that butter and ice suggestion does sound appealing.\
81	'''Sera:''' Why just stick to ice and butter? Let's put in something ''alive''.\
82	'''Aden:''' You know I have a friend who's raising a rare breed of toothless rats. Those critters loves to teethe on people's toes.\
83	'''Sera:''' ''Gross!'' And ''[[NightmareFetishist awesome]]''! I actually know someone who could lend us her pet lizard that likes to crawl around under people's shirts and trousers!
84
85	!!Chapter 18:
86	* Cullen's [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe reaction]] to Arturia managing to recruit an [[BadassNative Avvar tribesman]] as an Inquisition agent. Leliana's reaction is to just shrug, [[MagneticHero not surprised at this point]].
87
88	!!Chapter 19:
89	* The scene where Arturia has cooked food for [[LovableRogue Sera]] and [[IceQueen Vivienne]], ''knowing'' how good [[SupremeChef she is]], and being the smuggest little shit about it. She even wipes the mess on [[JabbaTableManners Sera's]] face without skipping a beat!
90
91	!!Chapter 22:
92	* The group that is gathered to recruit the Templars to help seal the Breach makes sense(Arturia - Hearld of Andraste, Cassandra - Seeker of Truth and Right Hand of Divine Justina, Vivienne - First Enchanter and leader of the Loyalist Mages, Cullen - former member of the Templar Order)...until you reach [[WomanChild Sera]]. Then comes TheReveal: ''she accidentally egged '''Leliana''''' and is now running away from away from Haven until things cooldown.
93	--> '''Sera:''' ...S'not my fault. Stupid worker pointed the wrong building.
94	** It's even better when Arturia describes the moment she realized who was responsible for the prank:
95	---> '''Arturia:''' Well, it just so happens that I was around when Leliana came to me, who asked me if I happened to take note of anyone familiar in the area, all while she appeared to have some yolk on her face and a stench of puke - so to speak. It also just so happened that I saw a certain blonde elven archer hiding behind some craters and muttering some clear regrets. Of course, I didn't put two-to-two together until after our spymaster left with vengeful purpose in her stomping, a wrathful warbird hunting for her prey is how I would best describe it. Then, as if by fate itself, Sera soon after came to me, suddenly quite eager to join in on our negotiation venture, [[AintTooProudToBeg practically begging actually]] for some reason...
96
97	!!Chapter 26:
98	* While their infiltrating Redcliffe Castle, Harding reveals to Dorian that Leliana commanded all of her men to avoid harming any nugs on sight.
99	--> '''Dorian:''' I suppose there is a human being somewhere in there, underneath all that cloak and dagger after all.
100
101	!!Chapter 27:
102	* After he reveals that they have traveled back in time, cannot help but mention that [[TheAlcoholic the wine of this era is WAY better than anything in the modern day.]]
103	* While Arturia and Dorian are having a little night talk while drinking wine, when the latter mentions the idea of the former admiring Cassandra for her looks, Arturia chokes on her wine.
104
105	!!Chapter 29:
106	* Dorian deciding to make Arturia a bag full of various wine bottles that can't be found in the modern day when they return home.
107	--> '''Arturia:''' Didn't you argue about the fragility of time? And how one should be careful not to change so much in the past?
108	--> '''Dorian:''' Oh ''yes''. How careless of me! To think that I nearly caused our future to implode by bringing in wine bottles! You never know. A mage could have decided to drink this, be so inspired by it, he solved world hunger!
109
110	!!Chapter 32:
111	* Arturia getting into a drinking contest with the Iron Bull and Blackwall and winning while the former two end up barfing. She gets into another contest that involves having to drink strange and random stuff depending on what you hit with a dart, with Arturia avoiding the more rotten stuff due to her B-ranked Luck.
112	* How does Arturia respond to Cassandra and the rest of her companions wanting to go out there to delay the Elder One and their forces? Knock her out before all but stating that she'll do the same to the rest if need be. ''It works.''
113	--> '''Dorian:''' ...I'd say that right hook alone might be enough to take the Elder One by surprise.

Context Funny / AKnightsTaleAsInquisitor