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1[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/velocipastor.jpg]]
2
3->''"Last night was... amazing."''
4->''"What are you talking about?"''
5->''"The time you turned into a dinosaur and ate someone."''
6->''"WHAT?!"''
7-->-- [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JppwKpfOgyo Official Trailer]]
8
9''The [=VelociPastor=]'' is a 2019 horror-science fiction-action-comedy in which a priest gains the power to transform into a dinosaur and kill evildoers.
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11Pastor Doug Jones (Greg Cohan) witnesses his parents' death and is left questioning his faith. During a trip to UsefulNotes/{{China}} to clear his head, he witnesses a woman be mortally wounded by a {{ninja}}. She gives him a mysterious artifact that accidentally infects him when he cuts his hand. Back home again, he begins to feel strange urges which leads to him transforming into a velociraptor. He decides to use his curse for good and unleash his inner beast on evildoers.
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13Starting out as a 2011 [[WebVideo/TheVelociPastor fake trailer]] that gained a cult following, the filmmakers expanded the idea out to a full motion picture. Shot on a low budget, this intentionally hokey film repeatedly draws attention to its own cheapness and ludicrous premise.
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15!!Examples
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17* AssholeVictim: Doug's first victim is a sleazy mugger who was holding Carol at knifepoint. The rest of his victims are similar criminals (including Frankie Mermaid, who he snapped and killed after he bragged to Doug about killing his parents) or ninjas who attacked him first. The only person he killed who ''didn't'' have it coming in some way is Father Stewart, [[spoiler: and who turns out to still be alive, just held captive by ninjas.]]
18* CainAndAbel: [[spoiler: Sam]] and Doug. While Doug comes to realize that he needs to use his powers to do good regardless of what the church says about either killing or dinosaurs, [[spoiler:Sam joined the Christian ninja school apparently just so he'd have the opportunity to kill Doug and get revenge for how their parents very blatantly preferred Doug over him, with Doug ultimately killing him in their duel.]]
19* ConfessInConfidence: Brought up by Carol, who tells Doug that he should use his velociraptor powers to kill criminals who confess their crimes to him instead of giving them comfort by absolving them, and he retorts that it's not his place to kill people and that god wouldn't want him to do that. This is put to the test immediately afterward, when Frankie Mermaid (Carol's pimp) comes in that afternoon for confession and proceeds to light a cigarette and spend the whole time bragging about his drug dealing, extortion, robbery, and various murders... including of Doug's parents. [[AssholeVictim Doug rips him apart.]]
20* CorruptChurch: The ultimate villain of the movie is [[spoiler: Wei Chan, who runs a Christian ninja school and who wants to gain followers by introducing a highly addictive form of cocaine to get people addicted, then pull it from the market so that users will go to Christian self-help groups after they're unable to get more.]]
21* CoversAlwaysLie: Doug's dinosaur form ''barely'' resembles the creature on the cover.
22* CrisisOfFaith: After his parents are killed five minutes into the movie, Doug's faith in god is shaken and he doesn't know if he can continue as a pastor. Father Stewart encourages him to go some traveling abroad to clear his head, kicking off the rest of the plot.
23* DarkAndTroubledPast: Parodied. Father Steward darkly says he hasn't seen Altair since 'the war', with the scene transitioning to a flashback of him in Vietnam, where we see his friend get shot seconds after bragging about how he was going to survive the war without a single scratch, followed immediately afterwards by his girlfriend showing up to visit him (somehow) and stepping on a landmine that reduces her to a fine spray of blood.
24* {{Epigraph}}: ''"Only through the elimination of violence will be finally be able to achieve world peace." - Gandhi.'' [[spoiler: Superimposed over a shot of our hero screaming, covered in blood, and triumphantly holding up the head of the villain.]]
25** There is no evidence that the quote came from Ghandi. But rather Miami Connection; another hokey, ludicrous, and cheap movie which was super violent but denounced violence.
26* EvenEvilHasStandards: When Carol is "killed", the very same ninja who have just "killed" her starts weeping as Doug cries for her.
27* EvilLaugh: After the leader of the ninjas explains their evil plan to one of his minions, they both indulge in this. And it goes on for ''minutes.''
28* HookerWithAHeartOfGold: Carol.
29* InformedSpecies: Doug's dinosaur form is described as a ''Velociraptor'', but [[RaptorAttack even by the low standards of the film industry]], he's ''way'' off, with extremely chunky proportions, a huge head with small eyes, tiny arms, no sickle-claws, and an upright stance that leaves his tail dragging on the ground--at that point, adding that he's too big and doesn't have feathers feels almost unnecessary. He looks a lot more like older depictions of large theropods like ''Tyrannosaurus'' or ''Allosaurus''.
30* InterchangeableAsianCultures: The presence of (Christian) Hollywood-style ninjas in China is definitely meant to be an intentional use of this.
31* InstantAwesomeJustAddNinja: Ninjas abound!
32* LudicrousGibs: In a flashback, Father Stewart's girlfriend steps on a mine and is instantly ''[[OverdrawnAtTheBloodBank liquified]]''.
33-->'''Soldier:''' I don't think we can do anything for her, she's too far gone.
34* MookHorrorShow: Doug's victims are frequently terrified, and for good reason.
35* NewPowersAsThePlotDemands: Doug inexplicably gains telekinesis to grab a sword when fighting [[spoiler: Sam]], using them to defeat him and then never mentioning or using them again.
36* NinjaPirateZombieRobot: The entire promise of the movie, with a vigilante were-velociraptor priest fighting Christian ninjas.
37* OnceMoreWithClarity: After it's revealed that the ninja lieutenant is [[spoiler: Doug's brother Sam]], we see the previous flashbacks of Doug's happy memories with his parents, with the camera zooming out to show [[spoiler: Sam]] was standing just out of frame in each of them.
38* PlotHole: Numerous, and almost always lampshaded. One example is how and why Father Steward's American girlfriend got to a Vietnamese warzone where she stepped on a landmine, with one of the other soldiers next him wondering what she was even doing there.
39* PowerNullifier: Wei Chan uses a special anti-venom that the ninjas developed to fight again the dinosaur warriors. When Doug is shot with an arrow coated with it, he's left unable to transform into a velociraptor.
40* SecretKeeper: Doug's prostitute friend Carol is the only one who knows he turns into a dinosaur, having found out after he (in raptor form) saved her from a mugger.
41* SpecialEffectsFailure: [[invoked]]Done repeatedly for laughs. When Doug's parents are killed in a burning car, the scene simply has white text saying "VFX: car on fire" over an empty chunk of street while he hammily screams in horror.
42* TransformationHorror: Parodied. The transformation is supposed to be horrible InUniverse, but the cheapness of the effects makes it look ridiculous. [[StylisticSuck This is of course, deliberate.]]
43* TheUnFavourite: Sam was so much the unfavorite that his father told his brother [[spoiler: Doug]] right in front of him that ''he'' was his only son.

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