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Context Film / SantaWithMuscles

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1[[quoteright:300:]] ˛˛->''"I was pretty stunned to see the infamous "Santa rape" scene in the ''Warrior Christmas Special'' but that would not be the first nor the last time Santa took it full in the ass from the pro wrestling industry..."''˛-->-- '''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment The Spoony One]]''', opening his review of the film.˛˛''Santa with Muscles'' is a 1996 comedy about a wealthy, greedy health food guru named Blake (played by Wrestling/HulkHogan) who winds up on the run from the cops when a paintball session goes wildly awry. Disguising himself as a MallSanta, a blow to the head leaves him with amnesia -- and thanks to an "elf" named Lenny who can use some, and perhaps ''his'', money, he is subsequently convinced that he's the ''real'' Santa. From there, Blake decides to [[SavingTheOrphanage save an orphanage]] from supervillain Ebner Frost and his strange henchmen, who want the land the building is on for an unusual reason...˛˛----˛!!Examples:˛˛* AmnesiacLiar˛* AnAssKickingChristmas: Filled with ludicrous car chases and sword fights with highly explosive crystals.˛* BadassSanta: Hulk Hogan as Blake gets to be one.˛* ConnectedAllAlong: [[spoiler:Both Blake and Frost were raised as best friends in that same orphanage they were trying to save or plunder, respectively.]]˛* DieHardOnAnX: The last half hour is effectively ''Film/DieHard'' in an orphanage. Not to mention that it involves breaking into a vault (which housed the piezoelectric crystals) near Christmas.˛* EasyAmnesia: Blake gets hit on the head once and forgets everything. Another blow to the head restores his memory.˛* HesGotAWeapon: "Look out! He's got a candy cane!" during Blake-as-Santa's battle with mall thieves.˛* IdentityAmnesia: And all it takes is one whack on the head to cure it.˛* ImprobableWeaponUser: Some of Frost's mooks wield T-squares.˛* ImprovisedWeapon: The piezoelectric crystals wielded by both Blake and Frost in the infamous sword fighting scene.˛* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: The movie is supposed to show Blake's transition from a reckless egotistical rich guy to a child-caring philantrophist, but the IdentityAmnesia lessens the impact on his character.˛* MadeOfExplodium: The crystals in the caverns below the orphanage -- although they apparently switch to being made of ''im''plodium at the end of the film, whereby [[spoiler:they seem to form some sort of vortex that sucks the orphanage into it]]. It also needs to be pointed out that while we're told that the crystals are horribly unstable and will blow up at ''the slightest touch'', at the climax Black and Ebner have a SwordFight with them, smashing the highly explosive crystals together for several minutes with ''absolutely no effect at all.''˛* PoliceAreUseless: Boy howdy. They exist ONLY to harass Blake after his incidents with them. They mysteriously disappear when others commit crimes, like the mall robbery and all of Frost's machinations. ˛* PsychoElectro: The female villain Dr. Watt has electric gauntlets.˛* QuirkyMinibossSquad: Frost's lieutenants are all bizarre supervillains.˛* RecordedSplicedConversation: When Blake is brought back to his mansion after being cured of his amnesia, he tries to call the orphanage, and is shocked to hear Leslie telling him to just disappear forever. Except it isn't Leslie, but rather Frost and his goons hacking the telephone lines and using a recording of things Leslie was saying to Dr. Blight a few days earlier.˛* RuleOfCool: The only reason why a local policeman would have and use a rocket launcher in the middle of a car chase. Though it can be justified as Blake and his servants were viewed as ''terrorists'' early in the film from their mock attacks on the police.˛* TerrifiedOfGerms: Ebner Frost, the BigBad, to the point where his {{Mooks}} spray every room he walks into with disinfectant first.˛* UnscientificScience: While piezoelectric crystals do exist and can produce electricity, they certainly don't glow purple or explode.˛* WouldHitAGirl: Blake [[WouldntHitAGirl wouldn't hit the female villain]]... but Lenny will.˛----


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