Line #87 Fanfic/ThingsXCOMOperativesAreNoLongerAllowedToDo


1	XCOM: An organization that is made of up of the best and the brightest to be the first, and last, line of defense against the alien threat. Their soldiers are the best of the best that Earth's militaries can offer, their engineers and scientist are award winni--
2
3	...Why are they trying to teach a SHIV how to play fetch? Why are there sectoid heads in the toilets?!
4
5	Welcome to the reality that is the XCOM project, where stupidity is considered a challenge. [[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BqoEJUWKVRFSKXOA2Ks3Ce7Kvphmg0kAFKcuXJHgmr0 The full approved list can be seen here.]]
6
7	A second List has been started on Sufficient Velocity, this time for XCOM 2. It can be found [[https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/threads/things-xcom-operatives-are-no-longer-allowed-to-do-part-2.18793/ here]]. [[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WBHMk4T9jLR2cZza42-nq275jPIvlADZPZWmQPRYipA/edit (full document)]]
8
9	As of 2020, a third list has been started concerning Chimera Squad, which can be found [[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kvCeaOC1xshbkQr_SapsEuMcr9wY02q51NK732H7REI/edit?usp=sharing here.]]
10	----
11	!!This list provides examples of:
12	[[foldercontrol]]
13
14	[[folder:Tropes from Part 1]]
15	* AllAnimeIsNaughtyTentacles:
16	-->167. Seeing a squadmate being strangled by a [[CombatTentacles Seeker]] should draw retaliatory fire, not comments of ‘I’ve seen enough anime to know where this is going’.
17	-->22. Stop asking the Japanese rookies if they enjoy the Seekers.
18	* BadassBoast
19	-->78b. X-COM's motto is not ‘[[Film/{{Predator}} if it bleeds, we can kill it]]’. [[BaitAndSwitch There’s no need to restrict ourselves.]]
20	* BeachEpisode:
21	-->103. Yes, the operation was on the beach. As to why you chose to deploy in swimwear, nobody knows.
22	-->103a. “She would if I would.” is not a valid reason.
23	-->103b. While Dr. Vahlen and the Commander appreciate the fact that the Operatives thought to give them gifts, matching swimwear is probably the last thing they want to see right now.
24	* BeeBeeGun:
25	-->127. Bee grenades are not in development, nor viable as weapons, so stop asking for them.
26	--->127a. Even if Sgt. [REDACTED] killed an Ethereal by throwing a beehive at it.
27	--->127b. Bee grenades are now being tested, volunteers please report to [=RnD=].
28	* {{BFG}}:
29	-->151. Dr. Shen is forbidden from making anything man portable which has a barrel large enough to fit his head.
30	* BiggerIsBetterInBed / BuxomBeautyStandard:
31	-->20. No, the science team will not use MELD to make it/them bigger.
32	* BotheringByTheBook: interestingly used by the high command to cut down on troopers idiocy regarding MEC Troopers and their use of FastballSpecial.
33	--> 24c. MEC Troopers claiming that S.H.I.V. units are able to volunteer or communicate [[HearingVoices are to report to Medical immediately]].
34	* CallingYourAttacks: Not if the Commander has anything to say about it.
35	-->68. MEC Troopers are discouraged from shouting "Go go gadget..." just before using MEC equipment.\
36	68a. Stop calling your attacks. Intel is unsure if the invaders understand our language or not.
37	* CatapultToGlory:
38	-->118. In the rare event that operatives are able to get a hold of a Seeker, they are not to use its elastic properties to launch a S.H.I.V. or another operative at the enemy.
39	-->162. Raven pilots, engineers and MEC Troopers; stop trying to figure out a way to use a rocket-propelled MECT as an UFO intercept weapon.
40	* ChainsawGood:
41	-->65. MEC Troopers, please stop requesting Dr. Shen for additional chainsaws to be placed on a MEC's primary weapon, elbows, fingers, knees, feet, knuckles, head, crotch or in single/multi shot rocket tubes.
42	--->65a. Skyrangers do not need chainsaws anywhere.
43	--->65b. Hover S.H.I.V. Chainsaw variants? No.
44	* CrazyEnoughToWork: Most of the items detail shenanigans so insane they actually worked. In rare occasions, the rule is reviewed following an astounding success or consistent effectiveness.
45	* CropCircles: As stated in rules 36a and b, XCOM was involved in a few incidents involving some interceptor pilots creating crop circles, and one crop circle that resembles Franchise/HelloKitty.
46	-->36a. Stop it with the crop circles. Seriously.
47	-->36b. The Firestorm pilot responsible for the ‘Hello Kitty’ crop circle is to be congratulated. Please report to Hangar 1 for immediate arrest.
48	* CrowbarCombatant: Defied.
49	-->88. Crowbars are indeed issued to X-COM operatives, but for the purposes of breaching doors and prying out obstacles, not as melee weapons.
50	* DeadpanSnarker: Command seems quite fed up with X-COM personnel's antics. And their [[ImperialStormtrooperMarksmanshipAcademy aim]].
51	-->88b. The fact that you've killed three times as many Mutons with your knife as you have with your rifle means that you're a bad shot, not that you're a good knife fighter. (88 is a disapproval on [[ImprovisedWeapon using tools not meant for combat]] as a melee weapon, like [[VideoGame/HalfLife crowbars]]; 88a is a note that things like combat knives can be requisitioned as a last resort.)
52	-->146. No, there is no ‘bring your daughter to work day’. No matter how cute she is, Major [REDACTED].
53	--->146a. Even if she’s a better shot than half our rookies.
54	* DeathCourse:
55	--> 143. Despite the recent attack by invader forces, Engineering staff are to stop filling our base with enough booby traps to make it look like a Death Course. This includes: buzzsaws coming from the walls, laser grids, descending ceilings, pitfall traps, embedded wall mounted plasma pistols, poison dart launchers, giant rolling balls and floors mined with pressure plates, walls made of spare MEC arms to grab victims, spiked elevator floors/roofs and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking covering the entire air vent floor with mouse traps]].
56	--->143a. Especially if the hallways stop resembling Temple of Doom and start resembling a Japanese game show.
57	* DestructiveSavior: XCOM tries their best not to add to the damage the aliens have already caused, however, their operatives get a bit ''creative''.
58	-->157. While yes, cars and other vehicles do explode when sufficiently riddled by plasma fire, this does not mean that Operatives -[=MECs=] especially- are to use them as substitute hand grenades when out on the field.
59	--->157a. This includes using suppressive fire to force the aliens to take cover behind cars. We appreciate tactical application of your environment. We do not endorse mass collateral damage.
60	* DisproportionateRetribution:
61	-->34. Calling in an artillery strike on a populated residential area infested with Chryssalids is regrettable, but acceptable. Calling in an artillery strike on your ex-wife’s car is a waste of resources.
62	--->34a. MEC Troopers reporting ‘Kinetic Strike Module Malfunctions’ around property belonging to ex-spouses are to report to the MEC bay immediately. We have therapists for this sort of thing.
63	* DistractedByTheSexy:
64	-->26a. Projecting porn onto the wall and playing 80s music worked on EXALT Operatives [[ItOnlyWorksOnce ONCE]]. Do not attempt it again.
65	* ExactWords: Several addendum are the apparent result of X-COM personnel trying to RulesLawyer their way around new standing orders in order to continue to goof off. Example:
66	-->57a. This also includes putting on two right feet or two right hands. Operatives are reminded that they are professionals fighting a war, and should be ready for combat at the drop of a hat.
67	-->57b. This does not mean that the new ‘standby’ alarm is a dropping hat.
68	* FastballSpecial: Even the trope name was mentioned in rule 24b.
69	-->24. MEC Troopers are advised to stop throwing other Operatives and S.H.I.V. units, regardless of the tactic’s effectiveness.
70	-->24a. Other MEC Troopers are still operatives.
71	-->24b. Even if the Operatives volunteer for ‘Fastball duty’.
72	* FusionDance:
73	-->51b. Similarly, Psi soldiers cannot meld into an ultimate form by simultaneously using mind fray on each other... Please stop.
74	* HearingVoices: Well, not really, but ExploitedTrope as a way of BotheringByTheBook to cut down on trooper idiocy regarding the FastballSpecial entry:
75	--> 24c. MEC Troopers claiming that S.H.I.V. units are able to volunteer or communicate are to report to Medical immediately.
76	* HoistByTheirOwnPetard: Frequently, rules violations and circumventions are punished in an appropriate manner:
77	-->39. "Shoot it in the face" is valid advice on the subject of engaging a Muton. “Nipple cripple it for massive damage” is not. Stupidity does not come under 'acceptable losses' of our recruits.\
78	39a. It works, I swear!\
79	39b. Doctor Vahlen has a Berserker live capture. She’s looking forward to the demonstration. Captain [REDACTED], please report to the Interrogation Chamber.
80	* IntimidatingRevenueService: Lampshaded in the LongList of things operatives can't claim to be in public - the I.R.S. back taxes retrieval committee.
81	* LamePunReaction:
82	-->55. Removing a MEC Trooper’s arms and declaring them ‘armless’ will be punishable by a severe summary kicking.
83	-->55a. Similarly, ending an argument by removing a MEC Trooper’s legs and declaring that they have no argument to stand on is prohibited.
84	* {{Leitmotif}}:
85	-->11. No playing inappropriate music when senior staff walks in. This includes (but is not limited to):
86	--->The Imperial March with Bradford. The 24 Chimes. Hell March. Anything related to X-Files, Doctor Who, Torchwood
87	* LongList: Rule 58, aka 'the list of things X-COM is not allowed to claim to be'. The following is most of the full list:
88	-->[[Franchise/{{Ghostbusters}} The Ghostbusters]]
89	-->[[Series/DoctorWho U.N.I.T.]]
90	-->[[{{ComicBook/SHIELD}} Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division]]
91	-->TheMenInBlack
92	-->[[Music/TheBeatles The Beatles comeback tour]]
93	-->Lost aliens
94	-->[[TabletopGame/Warhammer40000 Space Marines]]
95	-->[[StupidJetpackHitler Space Nazis]]
96	-->[[SovietSuperscience Space Soviets]]
97	-->Space Hippies
98	-->Space Indians
99	-->Martians
100	-->Uranusians
101	-->[[AncientConspiracy EXALT]] [[DisapprovingLook (Really?)]]
102	-->[[TabletopGame/MagicTheGathering Planeswalkers]]
103	-->ComicBook/XMen
104	-->{{Series/Torchwood}}
105	-->[[WesternAnimation/ScoobyDoo Scooby Doo's Gang]]
106	-->the Website/SCPFoundation
107	-->{{Series/the Brady Bunch}}
108	-->the Franchise/PowerRangers
109	-->Franchise/KamenRider
110	-->{{Magical Girl}}s
111	-->WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague
112	-->Injustice League
113	-->the VideoGame/LeagueOfLegends
114	-->[[VideoGame/{{Warcraft}} The Horde]]
115	-->[[VideoGame/{{Warcraft}} The Alliance]]
116	-->{{the Illuminati}}
117	-->[[Literature/TheDaVinciCode the Priory of Sion]]
118	-->Film/TeamAmericaWorldPolice
119	-->Series/{{Thunderbirds}}
120	-->[[Series/{{Thunderbirds}} International Rescue]]
121	-->[[VideoGame/SaintsRow 3rd Street Saints]]
122	-->[[Myth/KingArthur King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table]]
123	-->[[Film/PacificRim Pan Pacific Defense Corps]]
124	-->[[VideoGame/MassEffect2 Cerberus]]
125	-->[[Franchise/StarshipTroopers Raczak Roughnecks / Rico's Roughnecks]]
126	-->[[VideoGame/{{Halo}} the UNSC]]
127	-->[[VideoGame/{{Halo}} ONI Section III]]
128	-->[[VideoGame/{{Halo}} the 105th Orbital Drop Shock Trooper Division]]
129	-->[[Franchise/StargateVerse Stargate Command]]
130	-->[[Literature/{{Worm}} the Parahuman Response Team]]
131	-->[[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Watch Black Watch]]
132	-->[[WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague CADMUS]]
133	-->[[TabletopGame/Warhammer40000 the Adeptus Mechanicus]]
134	-->[[ComicBook/JudgeDredd Megacity One Department of Justice]]
135	-->[[VideoGame/{{Starcraft}} Raynor's Raiders]]
136	-->[[Film/{{Aliens}} the Colonial Marines]]
137	-->[[Franchise/StarWars the Grand Army of the Republic]]
138	-->[[Franchise/StarWars the Rebel Alliance]]
139	-->[[Franchise/StarWars the Galactic Empire]]
140	-->[[Literature/HonorHarrington the Royal Manticoran Navy/Marine Corps]]
141	-->[[TabletopGame/{{Battletech}} Wolf's Dragoons]]
142	-->[[Anime/GhostInTheShell Section 9]]
143	-->VideoGame/{{Xenonauts}}
144	-->Manga/{{Hellsing}}
145	-->[[WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic the Mane 6]]
146	-->[[Franchise/StarshipTroopers Mobile Infantry]]
147	-->[[VideoGame/MetalGear FOXHOUND]]
148	-->[[VideoGame/MetalGear Diamond Dogs]]
149	-->VideoGame/GhostRecon
150	-->WesternAnimation/VoltronForce
151	-->[[WesternAnimation/CaptainPlanetAndThePlaneteers the Planeteers]]
152	-->[[Franchise/StarWars Jedi Knights]]
153	-->{{Black Knight}}s
154	-->BoyScouts
155	-->GirlScouts (even if you bring back cookies)
156	-->Zombie Emergency Response Operations
157	-->I.R.S. back-taxes retrieval committee
158	-->Society for Creative Anachronism
159	-->Iscariot
160	-->[[WesternAnimation/BenTen the plumbers]]
161	-->Jehovah's Witnesses
162	-->The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons)
163	-->The Church of Scientology
164	-->Myth/RobinHood’s Band of Merry Men
165	-->[[AnimalWrongsGroup PETA]]
166	-->[[Anime/TengenToppaGurrenLagann Team Dai-Gurren]]
167	-->[[SdrawkcabName MOC-X]]
168	-->[[Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire House Lannister]]
169	-->[[Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire House Stark]]
170	-->[[Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire House Baratheon]]
171	-->[[Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire House Targaryen]]
172	-->[[Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire The Night Watch]]
173	-->Creator/TeamFourStar
174	-->[[WesternAnimation/SpongebobSquarepants Krusty Krab Crew]]
175	-->[[Franchise/{{Pokemon}} Team Rocket, Aqua, Magma, Plasma or Galactic]]
176	-->TheAristocrats
177	-->[[ComicBook/CaptainAmerica HYDRA]]
178	-->[[ChristmasElves Santa’s Elves]]
179	-->[[VideoGame/CommandAndConquerTiberiumWars Brotherhood of Nod]]
180	-->[[VideoGame/CommandAndConquerTiberiumWars Global Defense Initiative]]
181	-->VideoGame/{{Overwatch}}
182	-->[[VideoGame/{{Overwatch}} Blackwatch]]
183	-->[[VideoGame/{{Overwatch}} Talon]]
184	* MemeticBadass: The Commander, in-universe.
185	-->92.The Commander does not fistfight with [[EliteMooks Berserkers]] for his morning exercise routine.
186	-->119. Personnel are to stop worshipping the Commander as if he were some god of war. Please refer to him as 'Commander' or 'Sir'. Not as 'Master Commander', 'the Man with the Plan' or 'the Great Commandy One'.
187	** Annette too:
188	-->133a. Despite her claims otherwise, this does not mean that she is a demi-goddess.\
189	133ai. Even if her psionics theoretically put her in that ‘power level’.
190	* MemeticPsychopath: Dr. Vahlen, also in-universe.
191	** X-COM personnel apparently love to extrapolate [[EnhancedInterrogationTechniques her approach to interrogation]] to everything about her.
192	-->Addendum to 8[[note]]"No asking Shen to make something to get Vahlen to 'loosen up'".[[/note]]: ''The next person to do so will be placed in the Interrogation Chamber.'' - Dr. M.V. MD
193	--->8a. This does not suggest that Dr. Vahlen is a sadist.
194	--->8b. Stop requesting Dr. Vahlen to 'break out the leather and the whip already'.
195	-->90. Yes, Dr. Vahlen was laughing last night. This was because of an anecdotal joke told to her, and not because she was practicing ‘her super villainess thing’.
196	** Though, admittedly, it isn't like she goes out of her way to dissuade such talk.
197	-->105. To whoever delivered 5 meters of 2cm wide red silk ribbon to Dr. Vahlen’s office with attached note ‘Have fun’, the answer is ‘yes, Mutons can be strangled by red string’. Thank you for your contribution to progressing our understanding of alien physiology.
198	* MistakenForQuake:
199	--> 49. MEC Troopers are hereby exempt from morning PT. We’re getting earthquake warnings whenever you guys pass by the sensor stations.
200	* MundaneUtility: Frowned upon by Command.
201	-->18. Operatives are to stop cooking bacon on the heat sinks of plasma weapons.
202	-->73. The Skyranger is a top secret, cutting edge, incredibly agile, supersonic troop transport capable of getting X-COM Operatives anywhere within the globe in a matter of hours. Stop requesting its deployment for the sake of ‘real’ Chinese food.
203	* MusicalEpisode: XCOM Personnel attempted to make a musical out of their experiences, unfortunately due to rule 70...
204	-->70. The performance of 'X-COM: The Musical' will be postponed until AFTER the Invasion.
205	** Then it's brought up again in rule 142.
206	-->142. Base personnel are to stop randomly breaking out into song while on duty.
207	--->[[BrickJoke 142a. Especially if it was part of the cancelled X-COM Musical.]]
208	* NoJustNoReaction: Happens fairly often.
209	-->2. Snorting or otherwise ingesting powdered Sectoid DOES NOT grant psychic powers.
210	--->2e. With the recent discovery of Elerium; no. Just… no.
211	* NoodleIncident: Many entries qualify since in general only the reactions (i.e., the order listed) are listed. One in particular, though, is more baffling than most:
212	-->66. While creative and useful use of duct tape is encouraged among staff and operatives, cruel and immoral use of duct tape is forbidden.
213	--->66a. Put it this way: [[EveryoneHasStandards even Vahlen was disgusted]]. Stop it.
214	* NotSoAboveItAll: Apparently, the Commander gets special privileges.
215	-->42. The alien entertainment system recovered during the Alien Base Raid is still an alien artifact and should be treated as such, rather than a video game system.
216	--->42b. Beating the Commander’s high score (Tag CMDR) is prohibited.
217	* OnlySaneMan: With all the implied craziness, the two sanest people left in XCOM are pretty much [[TheGenericGuy Bradford]] and [[TheTriadsAndTheTongs ex-triad member]] Shaojie Zhang (from the Slingshot DLC). But who is saner?
218	-->166. Stop trying to rope Major Zhang and Central Officer Bradford into a 'X-COM's Sanest' competition.
219	--->166a. Especially if most of the ideas were taken from Japanese game shows.
220	--->166b. Or Fear Factor/American Gladiator.
221	* PersonOfMassDestruction: a particularly egregious example was Annette on the covert mission:
222	--> 152. Due to the incident after OPERATION: PURPLE TEARS, Captain Annette Durand is hereby banned from participating in any Covert Operations. The British government requested our presence thinking it was a Terror attack, and afterwards our counter-intelligence division requested captured materials that they could process without needing to resort to electron microscopes.
223	* PowerPerversionPotential: All over the place, naturally.
224	-->48. Stop harassing Psi Operatives for mind sex.\
225	48a. Psi Operatives are to stop offering mind sex. You can’t do it.\
226	48b. Just because Vahlen says you can’t, doesn’t mean that she’s tried.
227	* ReasonableAuthorityFigure: On rare occasions, Command will modify standing orders if someone can prove it can actually be useful despite its ludicrousness.
228	--> 38. While fedoras are acceptable for casual attire, all X-COM operatives (MEC Troopers included) are reminded that it is off duty attire. Standard issue helmets can be found in the armory.
229	---> 38b. This order is now rescinded following the success of OPERATION: Nice Hat.
230	---> 38c. ''[[NoodleIncident I can’t believe that worked.]]'' - Dr. Shen (Of course, d and e go back to admonishing the personnel.)
231
232	* {{Redshirt}}: Many rules try to counteract the 'disposable' attitude [[HeroicComedicSociopath XCOM veterans]] have towards [[NewMeat rookie operatives]]. Rules telling veterans to not scare rookies, not haze rookies, and not get them killed or injured purpose are something of a RunningGag in this list.
233	-->4. Stop referring to the base security personnel and rookies as ‘cannon fodder’, ‘D-Class’ and/or ‘redshirts’. This is negatively affecting morale.
234	--->4a. Personnel caught in violation of this order will be issued one red shirt one size too small, and be required to wear it for the next 24 hours. They are also considered off the combat roster.
235	--->4b. Rookies are not to be called [[TakingTheBullet ‘Tactical Ablative Armor’]]. Calling them ‘Taa-taas’ is also frowned upon, whether they know the meaning of the acronym or not.
236	-->22b. Stop using Rookies as any kind of bait. This includes pushing them out the back of a Skyranger when infiltrating an AO to check for ambushes.
237	-->27. Stop telling the rookies that [[TheFundamentalist EXALT operatives]] keep [[CyanidePill ‘Fun Time Syringes’]] on them.
238	--->27a. Even with the justification [[ShmuckBait ‘if they’re dumb enough to believe it they deserve what they get’]].
239	-->78. Our motto here at X-COM is 'Vigilo Confido', not 'rookies first'.
240	-->80. Stop feeding the rookies caviar and then 'accidentally' [[IAteWhat dropping an empty sample canister marked 'Chryssalid Eggs']].
241	-->102. Rookies are advised that [[{{Cyborg}} MEC Troopers]] do not have pain receptors on their hands. Therefore, if they offer you a glowing piece of metal, refuse.
242	-->122. Attempting to induct rookies into this new religion (dubbed ‘Commanderism’) is forbidden. Especially if the initiation rite involves their paycheck, a rubber chicken, an ARC Thrower, [[NoodleImplements or any combination thereof]].
243	-->129. The practice of Malicious Charity is prohibited, namely [[SadisticChoice giving three wounded rookies two medikits]].
244	-->134. Rookies are measured for armor during induction, not coffins. Stop telling them otherwise.
245	--->134a. ‘We don’t measure you for coffins because there usually isn’t enough left to bury’ is not a viable alternative, either.
246	-->138. Stop wandering around base, drawing chalk outlines around the hallways and telling the rookies ‘I’m trying to remember where they all died’. It’s bad for morale, and we know that nobody died in that hallway.
247	--->138c. We’ve actually had to treat rookies for PTSD ''before they’ve even gone on a single combat mission''. Stop it.
248	-->140. Stop leaving rookies behind after mission clear. That is all.
249	--->140a. Stop leaving rookies behind BEFORE mission clear. Even if it’s [[TheGoomba ‘just a sectoid’]].
250	-->145. Sgt. [REDACTED] is now banned from making any more of his ‘World Famous Rookie Smoothie’.
251	--->145a. Despite his claims to the contrary, Rookie Smoothie does not actually contain Rookies.
252	--->145b. Nor their tears.
253	* ReferenceOverdosed: There is an actual rule (For the rulemakers, not XCOM personnel) stating not to make rules that rely on references to be humorous; nonetheless many entries make pop culture references as extra treats to those who already know about them. {{Subverted\|Trope}} in rule 58 - it's nothing but references to different organizations in media.
254	** Which still keeps in with 'Rule 0', as it can be funny no matter what names are on the list.
255	* RescueRomance:
256	-->158. Operatives are to stop luring Chryssalids, Mutons and zombies towards hiding civilians just to make ‘a last second save’ and try to get a date/get laid.
257	-->[[KarmaHoudini 158a. Especially if it worked.]]
258	* ShipperOnDeck: X-COM personnel love to claim the Commander and Dr. Vahlen are an item.
259	-->91. Rumors of a relationship between the Commander and Dr. Vahlen should stay as that: rumors. (Someone apparently left [[OhCrapThereAreFanficsOfUs a fanfic]] textfile on the network.)
260	* TaxidermyIsCreepy:
261	-->104. X-COM Personnel with a background in animatronics and taxidermy are greatly discouraged to putting their past skills to use with alien corpses and janitorial closets.
262	--->104a. Especially bathroom stalls. Some people would like their personal emergencies to run smoothly, not [[BringMyBrownPants suddenly]].
263	* ThereWasADoor:
264	-->46. Attention, MELD-enhanced X-COM Operatives: doors are still a thing. Please use them.
265	* ThroneMadeOfX:
266	-->163. Stop trying to replace the Commander's seat in the Geoscape with 'a throne more befitting a being of his station'. Thrones and other chairs made of swords, bones, skulls, teddy bears, gold, 'hard light', [[UnwantedHarem women/men]] (be they volunteers or not) and/or alien alloys are forbidden.
267	-->163a. Most of them are not very comfortable anyway.
268	[[/folder]]
269
270	[[folder:Tropes from Part 2]]
271	* AllAnimeIsNaughtyTentacles:
272	-->18a. The appropriate reaction if a Viper is trying to constrain you is to request the help of your fellow operatives, not saying "I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going..."
273	-->18b. Nor is "Porn Now!"
274	* CrazySurvivalist:
275	-->505. Reapers are to stop booby trapping rooms and corridors throughout the Avenger. Seriously, that's the third rookie we had to rush into the infirmary this week.
276	* DistractedByTheSexy: Just about everything related to the Vipers.
277	-->26. When fighting Vipers, please refrain from calling them 'snek' and being distracted by their new armor.
278	-->39a. Should a captive Viper offer to show you her "native dance", the correct response is to contact the appropriate staff immediately, not "Where's my camera?!".
279	-->39b. Even if it's in HD.
280	** Attempting to invoke this is also prohibited
281	-->41. Shouting "Hey baby I'll show you my python." to a viper in an attempt to distract them does not work. Dropping your pants after may confuse them, but majorly hampers your mobility once the viper calls for reinforcement.
282	* EveryoneHasStandards:
283	-->1a. To the entirety of Strike-1: no, you may not build a giant Terrarium to keep the captured viper as a pet. Whilst they are the enemy, the vipers remain a sentient species, and keeping them imprisoned in a cage and treating them like a pet is probably a war crime.
284	-->1b: Just because your poll said it would be popular doesn't make it any more okay.
285	-->1c: Even if the snake lady agrees to it.
286	-->1d: Even if she promises to dance for entertainment.
287	-->34a. Alien prisoners are not sex slaves, the attempt will be it's own punishment.
288	-->34b. The same goes for our female operatives.
289	* FemaleGaze: Let's just say that female XCOM operatives sees the Archons in the same way as how male operatives sees the Vipers.
290	-->642. To all human female operatives: Even if our recently acquired first Archon operative, Azokh, had indeed retained "the important bits," I need to remind you that he is an ALIEN; for all you know his reproductive organs could be in his armpits. so please stop asking him about his "other staff."
291	-->643. Unfortunately, Yes. Azokh does indeed have "abs of steel" in more ways than one. Please stop remarking on it.
292	* LeParkour:
293	-->468. To all Operatives, although Parkour is an useful skill in battle, please do not train your skills in the field. Our infirmary is overloaded because of your attempt to train yourself.
294	* MundaneUtility: It seems many XCOM operatives tried to invoke this with disastrous consequences.
295	-->440. We have a kitchen onboard the Avenger. Use of Hellfire Projectors or plasma weaponry for cooking will result in sanctions.
296	* NotSoAboveItAll: The commander retains the same special privileges as before.
297	-->1e: The Commander has issued a new rule that the Terrarium may be built, so long as it is built in his office.
298	* ShedArmorGainSpeed:
299	-->7a. While stealth in now an integral component of some operations, Operatives are not allowed to leave behind necessary XCOM gear in an attempt to gain more stealth.
300	* ShoutOut:
301	-->2a: While it was funny the first time, wearing Viper heads over your helmet and shouting 'COOOOOOBRA!' Is now prohibited.
302	-->2b: No, just because the Commander did it too, it does not make him the 'Cobra Commander'.
303	-->2c: No. Just because we are not COBRA does not automatically make us [[WesternAnimation/GIJoe G.I. JOE.]] We're all adults here people, show some professionalism.
304	-->2d: While humorous, Cobra Commander is not a effective call sign for any reptilian enemy.
305	-->5. Yes, the Avenger is technically a looted ship. No, that does not make us [[TabletopGame/Warhammer40000 'Freeboota Orks', nor does it make the engineers 'Mekboyz'.]]
306	-->8a. Whomever is responsible for hacking Corproral [REDACTED]'s Gremlin so that it started playing Mission Impossible music during the last infiltration mission: Please report to the Commander's office immediately for disciplinary measure.
307	-->8b. Or don't. The Commander says it's been a while since he's practiced his own stealth techniques, and he could use the practice.
308	-->17. Dumping Viper Corpses out of one of the Avenger's airlocks while expressing that you have [[Film/SnakesOnAPlane "had it with these motherfucking snakes"]] will result in immediate disciplinary action and can be grounds for termination. Those bodies are valuable research materials, people.
309	-->360. [[Anime/StrikeWitches Small teenage girls with quad-box rocket launchers]] are not adequate UFO defence.
310	-->360a. [[Anime/GirlsUndPanzer Small teenage girls in a Tiger]] are not adequate landing defences
311	-->360b. [[VideoGame/KantaiCollection Small teenage girls with torpedoes]] are a bad idea altogether.
312	-->416. Templars do not have [[Manga/JojosBizarreAdventure Stands]].
313	-->416a. Yes, we are aware of the rumors of [REDACTED] trying to create a Stand.
314	-->416b. Random objects disappearing and moving about on their own on the ship is not the work of an enemy Stand. We have psionics among us now. Use common sense.
315	-->416c. For the love of god, please stop shouting [[Manga/DiamondIsUnbreakable "Killer Queen"]] every time Outrider detonates a car. It defeats the purpose of concealment.
316	--->''But what if all of this, even your use of psionics as an explanation, is the work of an Enemy Stand? - Anonymous''
317	-->416d. Psionic clones are not Stands, or [[Manga/{{Naruto}} shadow-clones]], or whatever other dumb reference it is that you're trying to make. Stop referring to them as such.
318	-->417. [[VideoGame/MetalGearRisingRevengeance "Nanomachines, son"]] is not a valid description of the Spectre in after-action reports.
319	-->437. Reminder to all Rangers that a grapple hook is not equivalent to [[Manga/AttackOnTitan 3-Dimensional Maneuvering Gear]]. Lt [REDACTED] is still eating out of a straw after what happened.
320	* StockNinjaWeaponry:
321	-->7b. Kunai, shurikens, and katanas are not necessary XCOM gear.
322	-->7c. Neither are black robes and masks.
323	* SwordDrag:
324	-->29. Yes the swords are cool, but refrain from charging in the open with the sword skidding on the ground.
325	* ThrowingYourSwordAlwaysWorks:
326	-->22. Throwing the weapon of a downed ADVENT soldier to try and kill another one worked ONCE, do not attempt to repeat this.
327	* TooDumbToLive: Too many to be listed.
328	-->441. It is highly inadvisable to sniff any alien pods you find in Lost infested territory. Seriously, what part of "highly toxic and has mutagenic properties" did you idiots not understand?
329	* WalkingShirtlessScene: Pretty much the Archons, much to the joy of female operatives.
330	-->642a. Come to think of it, Azokh is to immediately go put on a thick wool sweater.
331	-->642b. And another sweater.
332	-->642c. ...and another sweater.
333	-->642d. And a sleeping bag.
334	* YaoiFangirl: Apparently, female XCOM operatives are just as perverted as their male counterparts.
335	-->624. Everything that male operatives are forbidden from doing as regards vipers goes double for female operatives as regards Archons. [[PunctuatedForEmphasis ALL. YAOI. WILL. BE. BURNED]].
336	[[/folder]]
337	[[folder: Tropes from Part 3 (Chimera Squad)]]
338	* AbnormalAmmo: Apparently Patchwork tried to make a Chryssalid Egg Launcher at one point.
339	-->71. Agents are not allowed to threaten suspects with Chryssalid egg launchers.
340	-->71a. Agents are not allowed to wield Chryssalid egg launchers in general.
341	-->71b. Director Jane Kelly is hereby restricted from giving the final say in matters concerning weaponry without prior knowledge of said equipment. Decisions concerning various alien weapons and technology will be delegated to the Director, Whisper and senior members of staff. We do not need another breach like last time.
342	-->71c.Patchwork is forbidden from constructing any more Chryssalid egg launchers. We’re a part of the Reclamation Agency. Our job is to get dangerous tech off the street. Making more is literally the opposite of what we’re supposed to be doing.
343	-->71d. You are not allowed to weaponize Chryssalid eggs, ''period.''
344	* TheDreaded: Vahlen seems to have become one among alien operatives.
345	-->35. XCOM Veterans are to stop telling legends of "the great and terrible" Dr. Vahlen. The chances of her returning to "conquer the world and become queen bitch of the universe" are slim at most.
346	-->35a. Any and all of these "stories" are the product of psionically induced nightmares and are therefore completely impossible.
347	-->35b. Even if she could still very well be alive.
348	-->35b-i. Stop it, we already had to get Torque and Axiom out from under the break room counter.
349	-->35b-i-1. Don't ask how they got there, we don't want to know.
350	-->35b-ii. On that same note, stop spreading rumors that Dr. Vahlen was the mastermind between [[spoiler: Mayor Nightingale's]] death. Even if it's possible, you have no evidence that she was the culprit.
351	-->35b-ii-1. No, the reason why we're not opening an investigation on Dr. Vahlen is not because "she would never use explosives."
352	* IWasQuiteAFashionVictim:
353	--> 33. To our XCOM operatives reassigned to Chimera Squad: no, we are not returning your bright pink armour and/or top hats, no matter how much of a tactical advantage you say it has. The fact you survived such a time is nothing short of a miracle.
354	--> 54. Casual Fridays are not an excuse to break out your old X-COM gear. I don’t think there’s anyone on earth that’d call that bright pink exosuit with leather boots and hot pants “casual”.
355	* PowerIncontinence:
356	-->140. Even if it's proven you can "awaken" people's psionic powers or even induce them, please do so with their consent and awareness. We've already had a few cases of people nearly blowing up the building section, and one beam-lanced the restrooms by accident.
357	* ShieldBash: Rule number 107 explicitly bans Cherub from using his shield as an impromptu breaching charge.
358	-->107. Cherub, shield-bashing a wall when all breaching charges have been used is not an acceptable method of entry.
359	-->107a. Even if you have a full charge.
360	-->107b. It worked one time, yes; the other time the force wave severely injured a civilian. No more.
361
362	[[/folder]]

Context Fanfic / ThingsXCOMOperativesAreNoLongerAllowedToDo